Dear LFN Fan:

We at Urs-Tek, in our continuing effort to bring good things into your lives, have added a new subsidiary: Urs-Tek Edibles.

Urs-Tek Edibles is the brainchild of our resident genius, pjb.

Below is a description of our premier line of La Femme Nikita Candies. Please feel free to add your helpful comments.

Thank you for all your support,

Ursula

Nikita's Divinity--light and airy as angel's wings, and as sweet and pure as its namesake

Micheal's Mousse Trifle--resplendent in elegant richness, the bitter and sweet play off one another in an endless rush of sensual ecstasy

Operations' Hard Sour Candies--comes in variegated shades of gray

Madeline's Jawbreakers--available in Torturous Tangerine and Heart-stopping Jalepeno

Walter's Heavenly Hash Brownies--double fudge brownies replete with marshmallow, nuts, and chocolate chunks, and laced with love

Birkoff's On-line Oreo Madness--Oreos covered in milk chocolate and sprinkled with mini M & M's with a Twizzler chaser

Mentz' Mints--as melt-in-your-mouth delicious as he is to look at

And a special offer, based on two of our cyber-favorites:

Ranma's Naughty Nectarines--candied nectarines sprinkled with sugar; tart but sweet

Pantoufle de Lorraine--our finest chocolate molded in the shape of bunny slippers

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS REGARDING THE INTERBOARD MEMO

Q: 'Chelle: LMAO!! One question... does the Michael Mousse Trifle melt in your mouth.. not in your hands?

Q: pbj: Oh Ursula! You slay me! The MMT sounds scrumptous! Can I place a standing order for one/day for the rest of my life?

A: But pbj, are you sure you can eat just one? Also about those Molded Michael Chocolates . . . .

Q: WOW! Lorraine is honored to be among the candy/confections! I am willing to forego any royalties I might receive from the sale of Chocolate bunny-slipper candies if I can get to taste-test the delectable Michael... GRIN What do ya say?

A: Absolutely! We wouldn't want anyone to jump into anything without an ample preview ! Also, I have figured out why the little Lorraine mermaid wanted to be human, even before seeing Charming Prince Mikey: she wanted to wear bunny slippers! (Very hard to do with fins!)

Q: Ranma =>: Gosh! What an honor (at least it isn't pudding LOL) I will also forgo any royalties but unlike Lorraine I am interested in seeing if the Nikita's Divinity and Michael's Mousse Trifle mix together to create a Divine Trifle Delight? (BTW - Birky's would put you into sugar shock BIG TIME - LOL)

A: Yes! We're still working on the exact formula, but needless to say, the "Divine Trifle Delight" will be dark chocolate and white divinity mixed together in the classic yin-yang pattern of eternal. . .umm . .. reciprocation . . .

Q: bad, bad norma: Ursula! What! no Spyboy Pops?

A: Excellent idea for a summer taste treat! What flavors would you recommend?

Toe Curling Tangerine
norma: "Mouth Watering Mochoa," "Tangy Tongue Twizzler," the ever popular "Creamsicle," the possibilities are endless!

Q: Caro throws out a request... we need a signature candy for the torture twins... Death by chocolate? I dunno... Anyone have any good ideas?

A: Hmm...there's Assorted Dark Chocolates--always dark on the outside and packing a surprise. You know, the whole Forrest Gump thing, only changed a little. "Death is like a box of chocolates, you never know how you're gonna go."~Roz

A: Oh, Roz, that is priceless! Also, the lab says we have some new additions to our line: Jane's Waterfall Creme Mint Patties, each an embossed picture of a waterfall with revelers playing in it; Caro's Carmel's--buttery, delicious, and sensuous; Kate's Caramel-Nougat Surprise--so good they make you ponder the deeper issues; and Norma's Red Boa Licorice Whips--Purrrrr-fect!

Q: Jane...However did you know...Creme Mint Patties are my very favorites...?...Uncanny...LOL, Ursula.. Q: Carmels are actually my favorite! How ever did you know??? :)

A: Jane.....I do believe our Ursula is psychic, Caro...

Q: pbj: oh! oh! Ursula! I have an idea...what about a sandwich cookie (ala Lorraine's Sacrifice story) Q: swept: oh! A Michael Sandwich! heeheeheee! (eg) with hot creme filling!

A: I certainly would never expect anyone to do anything I wouldn't do myself, so I will throw myself upon the Michael filling to save all my SB friends. (Who may not, consequently, be my friends very long once they've found out I've squished poor dear Mikey into a crepe---Wait---Crepes Michel, mmmmmm, that sounds too good, doesn't it? Ursula)

COMMENT: Michael to Story Board Authors: BEHAVE!

Q: "er, Mr. Spyboy. Okay, well, would you like to try some of our newest candies just up from the lab? This is "Cynaera's Sinful Brandy Bon Bon--why yes, that is French, I do love that tongue--and it's a rich, creamy chocolate bon bon with a brandy liqueur center--yes, cherry brandy, your mouth is quite exquisite, Mr. Spyboy, sir. And these are "'Chelle's Shells--little molded dark chocolate seashells with an almond inside, for when you're feeling kind of nutty! Um, Mr. Spyboy, sir, could you please have your thugs--I mean friends, stop that? It's making the neighbors nervous. Thank you. Oh, what? pjb? Well, yes, we have been working on one, but it's very difficult to find just the right expression--oh, you have an idea? Of course, Mr. Spyboy, sir, sure, just whisper it in my ear . . . Oh. Oh my. Oh my, dear, oh, my! No, I don't think she'd be displeased, per se, but are you sure about the sparklers? I mean, chocolate does melt quite easily. Ah, yes, of course, Mr. Spyboy, sir. If that's what you want--please ask your thu--friends not to touch that. Thank you. I'm sure she'll be--um--flattered. Of course, of course, yes, um, oh my! Mr. Spyboy! Sir! You are quite agile. And adept. Very---mmmm--adept . . . Yes, I will. She'll never suspect a thing . . .
Q: Cynaera to Ursula: Oh, you wicked, wonderful writer! LOL! You missed your calling, dear - you should have opened a chain of decadent, designer candy shops! :-)

Q: pbj: Oh! Oh! I just love a surprise!!!! Especially if it has anything to do with Mikey!! Please, please, please make it last a long time, be as hard as a rock, and deliver its surprise with unmeasurable force!!

A: Geez, pjb, talk about putting pressure on the poor guy. It's a good thing Mikey's a "pressure player"!!!

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