The four sat in one of the isolation cells, one of the few places they could insure being alone. The surveillance was blocked, Birkoff made sure of that. Anyone checking would find cell 28 empty, thanks to a still siphoned from the video feed and a little gadget jerry-rigged by Jurgen from paperclips and duct tape. They had the only privacy guaranteed in Section One and they used it well.

"Pass."

"Pick it up."

Operations leaned back and studied Michael through narrowed eyes. "Why'd you do that?" He threw down an ace.

"Because I have that," Michael replied, trumping the ace with a nine of spades. He tipped his chair back and opened the fridge. "Anybody ready for another beer?"

"Yeah," Birkoff replied, throwing an off-suit queen.

Jurgen studied the cards intently. "Who has that?"

******************

"Michael."

Jurgen threw a ten of hearts. "That's yours, partner." He pushed the trick to Michael. "Lead."

While Michael thought it over, Operations said, "Well, men, I think we have to declare Walter a casualty in the war of the sexes. He has succumbed to the dark side."

Michael threw the right bower. "I knew all that 'feelings' stuff would get him in trouble."

Birkoff threw down a ten. "Sensitivity sucks."

Jurgen laid the left bower on the pile. "Thanks for making me waste it, Mikey."

Operations threw in the queen and Michael pulled in his trick. "That's two." He threw the ace. "I'm beginning to hate women. All it is is bitch, bitch, bitch, nag, nag, nag, 'You won't commit to me', 'Say you love me'. She is sucking the life out of me."

***************

Birkoff threw an off-suit card and tapped the ash off his cigar. "Are these Cubans?"

"Dominican."

Jurgen threw a diamond. "Women. Can't live with 'em, can't blow 'em to smithereens. Unless you're Michael."

"That was not my fault!"

Operations chuckled. "Yeah, well, there are a lot of men who'd love to have their wives blown up in a nuclear reactor."

"Or a raid on a terrorist hideout."

Michael shrugged. "She may not make it out of the next explosion if she doesn't lay off this committment thing. How would you like to have a six-foot blonde Amazon dogging your every step, constantly wanting sex? When am I supposed to do my paperwork?"

"Hey, bud, I tried to bail you out," Jurgen said. "Remember, I nearly took a knife in the throat for you."

"Sorry about that. When I told her 'whatever it takes', I just thought she'd try to seduce you, not kill you. After all, all she's whined about for three years is being forced to kill people. Who knew she'd pick now to get with the program?" He shook his head.

Jurgen laughed. "I know. When I saw that knife, I just started spielin', about you, Simone, God, the weather. I have no idea what I said to her."

"Whatever it was, you're now Prince Charming and I'm frog slime." He looked at Operations. "How long a breather do you think that's good for?"

Operations shook his head, took a swig of beer. "I don't know. Couple of weeks. Depends on what damn fool ideas Madeline puts in her head."

Jurgen raised an eyebrow and grinned conspiratorily at Michael. "And speaking of Madeline--"

"Don't!" Operations snapped. "I've met leaches with less tenacity than that woman."

"So," Michael said, shuffling slowly, "You're still the object of her ardent desires?"

"Let's discuss something else. The woman creeps me out. Like I'm going to fall for a woman who thinks electroshock, truth drugs, and leather restraints are all in a day's work. Imagine what she thinks is fun in bed." He shuddered. "Uh-uh. No way."

"I don't know," Jurgen said, "I think you make kind of a cute couple in a sort of surreal, Sid-and-Nancy kind of way. Pass."

"Only she's Sid and you're Nancy," Michael added.

"That's what I was afraid of. Pick it up."

"Hey, Birkoff, you gonna play or what?" Michael punched Birkoff's shoulder, startling him.

"Oh, sorry," he said, grinning sheepishly. "I was still back on that imagining-what-Madeline-likes-in-bed thing."

"Now you're creeping me out," Jurgen said.

Birkoff winked. "I guess the moral of that story is never send a man to do a boy's job."

"Just lead, Romeo."

"I thought he was Don Juan."

"Either/or," Birkoff replied. He led the king of hearts. "Let's see those trump."

They threw down the lowest cards they could. Birkoff raked in the trick.

"So, Romeo," Michael said while Birkoff was deciding what to lead next, "You catch more babe action that the rest of us combined. What's the secret?"

Birkoff grinned. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret." He threw down both the left and right bower. "I've got these two."

"Seriously," Jurgen said while Birkoff raked in the next two tricks, "How do you get them?"

"Listen, pretty boy, this innocent technogeek thing is like catnip to women. It feeds their nurturing needs." He threw down his ace. "Face it, guys. Cool, macho, and overtly sexy are out. Technogeek will be the sexual powerplay of the new millenium." He laughed, and Jurgen and Michael exchanged worried glances.

And so they played cards, and laughed, and smoked, and drank until the wee hours of the morning, when they would have to grow up and save the world again.

end

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