"You wanted to see me?" Michael asked the question of Madeline as he entered her office. She was by her Bonsai trees, studying them, but turned at the sound of Michael's voice.

"Yes," Madeline replied. "Sit down, Michael." She gestured to the chair in front of her desk. Once he was seated, she moved to sit down in her chair. "How are you doing?" Madeline queried.

Michael blinked at her, mask firmly in place, and replied, "Fine."

Madeline smiled, having expected Michael's standard reply. "It's been a difficult year for you, Michael," she said softly, her eyes locking on his beautiful face. Madeline was pleased to see that he looked rested, the shadows were gone. Dulcie had done well.

"I'll survive," Michael whispered.

"I know." Madeline leaned back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap. "Your survival instincts are a part of what make you so valuable to Section. We chose well when we recruited you."

Michael allowed a smile to curve his lips and his eyes locked on Madeline's as he replied, "Is this a pep talk?" The thought amused him. Madeline knew him better than that.

With a subtle shrug Madeline countered, "Do you need one?"

"No," Michael replied, firmly. "Nikita's gone. I've accepted that. It's not like I have a choice."

"I'm sorry that you don't, Michael," Madeline said softly. And she meant it. "Sometimes I wish that things could be different."

Michael shifted in his chair, betraying his reluctance to have this discussion with Madeline. "Is that all?" he queried. "I have reports to do."

Madeline shook her head. "Dulcie will be here in a moment, for a briefing. The two of you will be leaving on a mission in an hour."

"Where?" Michael prompted.

"Wait," Madeline replied. She wasn't going to explain it twice. As if on cue the door chimed and Dulcie entered. Madeline watched as Michael rose to his feet to offer the other woman his chair.

Dulcie smiled at Michael as she accepted it, but it was a polite smile, nothing more. What happened between them last night had not been brought into this room. Nor would it be mentioned between them again. She and Michael both lived the same way. Live in the present. Don't look back, or ahead. The past was gone and the future didn't exist. Not for a Cold Op.

"Am I late?" Dulcie asked of Madeline.

Shaking her head, Madeline reached for two PDA's which she held out to the duo before her. She noticed that Michael had begun pacing but was trying to be subtle about it. When he had accepted his PDA, Madeline got down to business.

"The two of you will be working alone. When you reach your destination you will be joined by another two-man cell. You'll coordinate then hit your target points."

"What's the profile?" Michael queried. For some reason he had a bad feeling about this.

"An assassination," Madeline replied. "Two marks. Each team will take out one. You're to hit fast and get out."

Michael felt Madeline's gaze upon him and he met her eyes. "Who are the marks?" he asked.

Madeline gestured to the PDA in his hand. "You have the information, study it on the plane."

"Why a hit?" Michael prompted. Section didn't do assassinations without good reason. He was surprised at how little information Madeline was giving them.

"We're doing a favor for someone," Madeline replied, her tone clipped. "You don't need to know the details, Michael. You just need to do the job. Understand?"

Michael knew she was making a point, and he nodded. "I understand," he whispered. "Is that all?"

Madeline smiled. "That's all. Transport leaves in thirty minutes. See Walter, he has your gear." With that Madeline turned her attention onto her computer screen, effectively dismissing them.

"I wonder what's up ," Dulcie commented, as she and Michael exited the room.

"Doesn't matter," Michael replied. He was in *machine mode* now, as Nikita would have called it. "Let's get our gear." And so saying, Michael turned on his heel and strode down the corridor.

Dulcie sighed, then followed.

Michael sat at the window and stared out at the clouds, but saw nothing. He was still in shock after learning their destination. Germany. He had heard it from Walter. Nikita was in Germany. A part of Michael was wondering if he could find a way to track her down. He wanted to see her again, if only from a distance. There had to be a way, and he would find it.

Dulcie sat across from Michael, watching him. She knew that he had to be thinking about Nikita. That Madeline would send him on this mission was par for the course. One more test of Michael's loyalty. Would he search for Nikita? Dulcie sensed that he would try, and she was uncertain as to whether or not she would try and stop him.

The plane landed in a private airfield and a car was waiting for them. As they drove to the meeting point, Dulcie studied Michael. He was driving and she could see that he knew his way around. Not surprising. Michael would always be prepared, and knowing the layout of the city he was in was just a part of that preparation.

"Want some friendly advice?" Dulcie offered, after an hour had passed in silence. She knew they were close to the check point and figured it was now or never. She and Michael were expected to be on the plane and heading back to Section by dawn.

"Go ahead," Michael invited. He was curious as to what Dulcie had to say, although he could guess what it was about. Nikita.

"Just do the job, Michael," Dulcie replied. "Let the rest go. It will only make things harder for you in the long run."

Michael shrugged. "I'll do the job," he said softly. "The rest doesn't matter."

Dulcie sighed, knowing that she wouldn't change his mind. "I'll do the job too," she countered, and her eyes were suddenly cold. "Whatever it takes." Dulcie's words were a warning. In that moment she knew that she would do what was neccessary to bring Michael back to Section after the mission. If she had to shoot him to do so, so be it.

"I know," Michael replied. He heard the warning and it was clear to him that Dulcie would try and stop him from contacting Nikita. He would have been disappointed in her otherwise. It was for the best, that way she wouldn't take the fall for his actions.

"This is it," Michael said, as turned into a circular driveway. The meet was in a resort hotel. Penthouse suite. Madeline had class.

"I'll always be your friend, Michael," Dulcie said softly, as she stepped out of the car.

He stepped out as well, closed the door, then joined her. "I'm glad," Michael replied. Then he pulled his mask back into place and headed for the stairs.

Once they had reached the penthouse level, Michael led the way down the corridor. He reached the door and knocked. A moment later it opened and Michael held his breath as he stared at the beautiful blond woman who was standing before him.

She was staring back at him as well. "Michael..." she whispered, stunned at the sight of him.

"Nikita," he replied, recovering from his surprise first. Then Michael shifted into machine mode and pushed open the door to step into the room. No time for reunions. It was time to go to work.

************

Nikita wasn't as cool about seeing Michael again as he appeared to be about seeing her. She had known that a two-man cell from Section would be joining her and her new partner, Tim. But she had never expected Section to send Michael. There had to be a reason. That was Nikita's first thought. Her second thought was to wonder whether or not Michael had known about it in advance. If he was part of yet another manipulation. But now was not the time to ask. She invited Dulcie in, smiling coldly at the other woman.

"Hello, Nikita," Dulcie replied, with much more warmth than she received. Then she looked at the other operative, Nikita's partner. She knew him. "Tim."

"Nice to see you, Dulcie," Tim replied, offering a grin. He had worked with her on occassion and slept with her once.

Michael was team leader and he was interested only in getting the job done. He had to focus all of his concentration on that right now, which meant shutting out Nikita on a personal level. Right now, she was just another operative. A member of his team.

"We know that our targets are Ambassador Lang and his...mistress...Kylie O'Brien. They're here for the wedding of a friend of the Ambassador's. We'll take them out after they leave the church."

Tim grinned. "In other words they're not going to make the reception."

"That's right," Michael replied. He pulled a map out of his pocket which he had already marked. "They'll be in separate cars. Both limosines. The route that has been outlined is a back road. We'll be waiting for them."

"Are the drivers acceptable collateral?" Tim asked.

Michael shook his head. "No. We're to hit only the targets. This isn't political, it's personal. We're leaving a message."

Nikita was disgusted. "Since when did Section to mobstyle hits?" she demanded, her blue eyes flashing.

"We just do as we're told," Michael whispered, turning to face her. Nikita had her hair pulled back into a pony tail and was dressed in field gear. Michael thought she looked beautiful.

"When do we move?" Dulcie asked.

Michael glanced at his watch. "One hour," he replied, then he locked eyes with Dulcie. "You and Tim will take out Kylie O'Brien. Nikita and I will hit the Ambassador."

Dulcie was stunned. "I thought we were a team?"

"You have your orders," Michael countered, softly, a warning look in his eyes.

"Right," Dulcie countered. And in that moment she knew that she would be going back to Section One alone. Her first instinct was to foil Michael's attempt to reunite with Nikita, but then she shrugged it off. He was a big boy, and she had no doubt that he knew what he was doing. Michael had made his choice.

Nikita was even more surprised than Dulcie had been by Michael's pronouncement. But she recovered her composure and asked if she could speak with Michael out on the terrace. When he followed her there, Nikita leaned against the railing then asked, "Why are you here?"

Michael turned away from Nikita, his eyes staring up at the skyline to the east. "Madeline sent me," he whispered.

"You didn't know I'd be here?" Nikita prompted.

"No," Michael breathed. Then he did turn to face her. "I missed you."

Nikita felt tears sting her eyes. She wanted to believe him. "I missed you too, Michael," she confessed. Then she sniffled and pinned him with a glare. "I guess this is Madeline's way of pouring salt in our wounds. She knows it will be hard for you to go back. And for me to stay."

Michael was silent for a moment, his eyes flickering over Nikita's face as if trying to absorb her features. Not that he needed to do that, for her image had long ago been burned into his mind, and his heart.

"I'm not going back," he said at last. "And you're not staying here."

"What?" Nikita was dumbstruck. She moved to Michael and lowered her voice to a whisper, fearful that Dulcie and Tim might overhear them. Nikita didn't trust easily anymore. "Michael...what are you saying?" she demanded, as she grabbed his arm. "You have to go back to Section."

"You once said to me that you would die, willingly, if we could just have one day together," Michael replied. One hand lifted so that his fingertips could brush over her face. Nikita's skin was soft as silk. "I want that day, Nikita," he whispered. "I want it for the both of us."

Nikita shook her head. So much had changed since she had said those words to him. A part of her rebelled against the thought of dying.

"Section will cancel us, Michael. If you stay."

Michael closed his eyes. "Jurgen and I had something in common," he said softly, seeing the surprise in Nikita's eyes at his confession. "Jurgen had information that he used to blackmail Section. I have something on them as well. Something on a more personal level. I've never used it. Never really been tempted to...till now."

"Why?" Nikita queried. She had other questions as well, and her first thought at Michael saying that his was blackmail on a personal level, was Stephen Wolf. Nikita wondered if Michael had copied her blackmail tape of Operations' confession to her about Stephen being his son, and that's what he planned to use. But she didn't ask, she simply waited for a response to her first question.

"I want to be with you, Nikita," Michael replied. It was the only answer he had to give her, and it was the simple truth. In the past their relationship had been so complex, but Michael wanted to make it simple.

Nikita felt as if she had been hit by lightning. "Why now?" she challenged. "Why not before? What's changed, Michael?"

He smiled and it reached his eyes for once. "I have," Michael whispered. "I've changed."

"Have you?" Nikita retaliated. But then she looked deep into Michael's silver-green eyes and she realized that his shields were down. Perhaps only for a moment, but they were down. "Michael....what do you want from me?"

"Trust," he replied, knowing that he was asking alot. Michael leaned forward and brushed a kiss to Nikita's lips. "And patience," he whispered.

Nikita felt a flush of guilt. Michael had asked for patience from her once before and she had failed him. But, she had trusted him in the past and had been betrayed. Perhaps it was time to start over. So she kissed him back and when they broke apart she looked him in the eye.

"What do we do?"

Michael stepped away from Nikita for her kisses were addictive and they had to keep up appearances. Although Michael was certain that Dulcie had guessed his intentions, he was also certain that he could trust her.

"We do the job, for now," Michael replied. "When it's over, I know a place where we can go. We'll be safe until I make some contacts."

"All right," Nikita whispered. She glanced down at her watch. "It's almost time."

"Yes," Michael confirmed. But he wasn't talking about the mission. It was time to face his feelings, and it scared him more than anything he had ever suffered at the hands of Section one.

The mission was a success. Michael was comlinked to Dulcie and Tim. They took out Kylie O'Brien without mishap, then it was Michael and Nikita's turn. Michael did the actual shooting, his bullet entering the Ambassador's temple. It was over almost before it had begun.

"Head back to check point," Michael ordered team two.

"Copy," Tim replied.

"See ya, Michael," Dulcie drawled. It was her way of saying goodbye. She didn't expect a response from him, nor did she receive one. Dulcie pulled off her comunit then followed Tim out.

Nikita studied Michael. "What now?" she asked, as she removed her comunit.

Michael reached for Nikita's hand. "Now is when you need to trust me the most," he replied.

"I do trust you, Michael," Nikita whispered, as she squeezed his hand.

"Good." Michael felt a sense of relief. "We have to move fast." He led Nikita past the vehicle they had rented to do the hit.

Nikita's first instinct was to ask where they were going, but she remembered that she had just said she trusted Michael. So she let him lead her away. And all too soon they were swallowed up by the shadows.

"This way," Michael said, as he led Nikita to the back door of a small flower shop. He was pleased when Nikita followed him inside without asking any questions, for he knew she had to be dying of curiosity. Michael led her threw the shop and over to a door where they climbed stairs to the second level. Then he rapped on the door.

When it opened a small, gray-haired woman appeared before them. She smiled then opened her arms.

"Michael.." she whispered.

To Nikita's surprise, Michael enveloped the woman in a bearhug, lifting her off his feet. She hugged him back then ordered to be put down. Once back on her feet, she smiled at Nikita.

"Come in, my dear," she invited.

"Thank you," Nikita replied. She turned to watch Michael follow, then close the door behind him.

He smiled at Nikita. "This is Heidi. We'll stay with her for a few days. She'll help us."

Nikita nodded, but felt confused. "So...she's a friend?"

"You might say that," Heidi answered, her lips curving into a smile. "I'm the reason Michael is in Section," she stated, then she laughed at the expression on Nikita's face.

************

"What do you mean, you're the reason Michael is in Section One?" Nikita prompted, her eyes flickering to Michael's face and seeing a shadow of pain in his silver-green eyes.

Heidi was watching Michael as well, and she knew that he wouldn't want her to tell the story. For the moment, she would not.

"Michael, you must move quickly. You have a very small window of time before Section sends hunters after you."

Michael nodded. "I know." He turned to Nikita. "Stay here with Heidi. I have to meet with some people and make arrangements for us."

"What kind of arrangements?" Nikita asked, reaching out to grab Michael's arm. She wasn't about to let him walk out without some kind of explanation. Nikita trusted him, but she didn't like being in the dark. It made her feel too vulnerable. And if she and Michael were ever going to have a chance at being together, then he had to trust her too.

"I need to find a safe place for us, then contact Section," Michael replied.

Nikita was stunned. "You're going to contact Section?" she repeated, her disbelief making her tone rise an octave. "Michael...are you crazy?"

He shook his head. "I have to do it, Nikita. They're going to know I've gone rogue once Dulcie returns. I won't bring her into this. And I need to protect us as well."

"By letting Section know you've joined up with me, and we're running off to live happily ever after?" Nikita's voice dripped with sarcasm. At this point she was pretty certain that Michael had either cracked, or he was on some wild drugs. Or maybe it was just one more manipulation.

"Nikita...I know what I'm doing," Michael whispered. He raised one hand to touch her face, but understood when she backed away. She needed a reason to trust him. "If you don't want this, tell me now. I'll go."

Nikita shook her head. "And then what, Michael? You go back to Section? I stay here....and...?"

Michael blinked against a sudden rush of hot tears. "I don't know what to do, Nikita," he confessed. "I'm not even sure what it is I'm asking of you. I want you....I need you...but I don't know what else there is."

"What about...love...Michael?" Nikita challenged. "Do you love me?"

"I want you to teach me how to love again," Michael replied, and in that moment he dropped his mask and let Nikita see inside his soul. She was the one who had to make the choice, for both of them.

Nikita saw darkness in Michael's eyes. It was his pain and his fear. But she also so a glimmer of light, and she knew that it was the reflection of herself. And in that moment she made her choice. Stepping over to Michael, Nikita kissed him, then whispered,

"Go...do you what you have to do. I'll be waiting for you."

"Thank you," Michael breathed against her lips. Then he turned away and strode out the door without looking back.

"Do you want some tea?" Heidi asked, her voice soft. She didn't want to startle Nikita, but she knew that the young woman needed some sort of a distraction right now. Michael was an enigma that she would not be able to figure out in a heartbeat of time.

Nikita whirled around to face the old woman. She had forgotten where she was.

"Tea would be nice," Nikita replied, smiling at Heidi. "Thank you."

Heidi smiled back. "Come into the kitchen with me. We can talk while the water boils." As she spoke, Heidi turned to lead the way. Her kitchen was at the back of the apartment, small but neat and sparkling clean, as was the rest of the place. She gestured for Nikita to sit down at the breakfast nook while she turned the burner on beneath a copper tea kettle. That done, Heidi grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, then she joined NIkita at the table. "What kind of tea would you like?" she asked, as she pushed a tin full of bags towards the beautiful young woman.

"Raspberry sounds good," Nikita replied, pulling out the bag. She toyed with it for a moment, trying to decide whether or not she should say what was on her mind.

"You want to know about me and Michael," Heidi said softly. "You're face is like an open book, Nikita," she whispered.

Nikita didn't bother to deny either statement. "What happened to Michael?" she asked.

Heidi sighed then made her own choice. It was her story to tell as well as Michael's and she felt that Nikita needed to know. To understand what it was that smouldered deep inside the man she loved. The driving force that made Michael seem more machinelike than human at times. "I'll tell you about my part of Michael's past," Heidi allowed, as she clasped her veined hands together on the table top.

"Thank you," Nikita replied, offering a smile of encouragement. She felt a ripple of anxiety rush through her. For the first time she was to learn how Michael had become a part of Section One.

"It was twelve years ago," Heidi began. "Michael was a college student. Where is not important right now, but he was brilliant and had a bright future ahead of him. He was passionate as well. Michael believed in people and humanity. And in the basic rights of all individuals. And it was that belief that led him to make a horrible mistake."

Nikita frowned. "What mistake?"

Heidi sighed as the memories washed over her. They were always lurking in her dreams. "Michael was an activist." When Nikita would have interjected, Heidi cut her off with the wave of one hand. "No details, NIkita," she beseeched. "I leave those for Michael to tell you, if he so chooses."

"Fair enough," NIkita allowed. She would be content with the simple facts. For now. "Go on."

"In protest of an injustice, Michael lead a group that planted a bomb in a research laboratory. It was late at night and the place was supposed to be empty." Heidi paused for a moment, her eyes locking with Nikita's. "Only it wasn't, and seven people died."

Nikita felt herself grow pale. "My god..." she whispered. Of all the scenarios she had imagined in the past that might have brought Michael into Section One, this hadn't been one of them. "So...he was arrested."

Heidi nodded. "Thanks to me," she confirmed. "I was the witness that placed him at the scene of the explosion. A witness he never knew about." The tea kettle whistled and Heidi rose from her chair to grab it. She remained silent as she poured hot water into the two mugs, then replaced the kettle on the stove. It wasn't until she sat down again and was stirring her tea bag with a spoon, that Heidi continued. "I never saw him do it," she confessed. "Section set Michael up. They had been watching him for over a year. They wanted him...badly. Enough to destroy the life he could have had...should have had." Heidi's eyes filled with tears that she refused to shed. "And I helped them."

"I don't think I understand," Nikita whispered. Her mind felt as if it were filled with chaos. "Why did Section want Michael?"

"As I said, he was brilliant." Heidi offered Nikita sugar and cream. "He was a strategist even then. Multi lingual, charasmatic. His sensuality was like an aura, and he was skilled in martial arts and knew how to use a gun."

Nikita's curiousity overflowed. "But...why? Why did he know all those things?"

Heidi shook her head. "Again, those are things for Michael to tell you. I can only share my side of the story." She smiled in sympathy, for she understood Nikita's confusion. "Shall I continue?"

"Please," Nikita beseeched. "How is it that you and Michael know each other so well, if you set him up?"

"About six years ago, I contacted Michael," Heidi replied. She paused to take a sip of her tea then said, "I couldn't live with my guilt."

Nikita was confused on another matter as well. "How is it that Section let you go? I didn't think they let their operatives just...walk away."

Heidi laughed, a tinkling sound of pure mirth. "I was never a cold op," she said softly, once her laughter had faded. "I had a unique relationship with Section. As far as they're concerned, I never existed. They don't know that I contacted Michael and told him the truth."

"And he forgave you?" Nikita queried. She wondered if she would have done so in his place.

"He did," Heidi whispered. "Michael has a big heart. He knows...understands...that Section is bigger than any individual. We don't what we do because we want to. We do it to survive. You should understand that, Nikita. You do what it takes to survive."

Nikita nodded. For the first time she was beginning to understand. She was also remembering one of her first missions, involving a man named Perry Bauer, and how Section had set up their own people to die, just so she and Michael could get close to the pig.

"Those people that died in the research lab. Were they innocents, or Section?"

Heidi felt a sense of relief that Nikita did understand how the game was played. Maybe she would be the one to help Michael heal.

"Operatives from the abeyance pool," Heidi replied, feeling shame and regret wash over her, even now. It was always on the edge of her consciousness.

"But..for six years, until you told Michael the truth...he thought he had killed seven, innocent, people," Nikita countered, her voice barely a whisper and shaking with rage.

"That's right." Heidi's voice was equally soft. "Maybe now...you will finally begin to understand why Michael is the way he is. That he is what Section made him. And that it's the only way he's been able to survive." Heidi was about to say more but the phone rang. She answered it then mouthed to Nikita that it was just a friend.

Nikita rose from her chair and went back into the livingroom. Standing at the window she stared out into the darkness and let the tears that she was certain Michael had never cried, roll down her face. And Nikita sensed that wherever Michael was right now, he felt her sadness and that, inside, he wept silently.

************

Michael stood out in the gentle rain. It was like tears on his face, cool tears. In his coat pocket was the cellular phone he had procured from one of his contacts. He knew he should be on it right now, but he needed some time to think. So Michael began walking.

He walked past familiar places and many of them brought back memories, both good and bad. The good were related to Heidi, the bad to Section. Michael knew that Heidi would tell Nikita about his past. In fact, he was counting on it. He didn't know how to tell her himself. But there would be details to fill in and that he might be able to handle, so long as Nikita asked specific questions, and Michael was certain that she would.

Memories seemed to be intent on haunting Michael tonight. Like waking nightmares. He rememebered, vividly, the night of the explosion. Remembered the shock of hearing on the news the next morning that seven people had died. And then the police had come, having Identified Michael as the bomber, thanks to a witness. Heidi. Michael remembered her testimony in the courtroom, and the look on her face as their eyes had met. Then being sentenced to life, no chance of parole. Then falling asleep one night, in his cell, and waking up in a white room with Jurgen smiling at him. In what seemed to have been but a heartbeat in time, Michael's life had changed forever.

There were times when he felt anger, and regret, only to remind himself that it was a waste of energy to regret what he could not change. Sometimes he felt like taking Jurgen's way out. Michael sometimes wondered, in the aftermath of the other man's death, if Nikita understood the choice that Jurgen had made. Sometimes he believed that she did. That it was his choice, to survive, that she didn't understand. And yet, she was a survivor as well. But Nikita let her heart guide her, not her head. And Michael could not afford to do that. It would be parallel to suicide.

And yet, the choice he had made now, to be with Nikita, that had been a choice made with his heart. No matter how hard Michael tried to convince himself of the logic of the decision. He had wanted Nikita in his life, because she made him feel alive again. He needed her, and wanted her. And maybe, deep down inside, there was a part of him that remembered...and loved her. But Michael was too much a realist not to acknowledge the fact that his time with Nikita would be hard one. That, in truth, if he could not bargain with Section, then he had Nikita would have precious little time together. But a part of Michael knew that he held a trump card. And it was all because of Heidi. Michael had never used it in the past because he knew that to do so would put her at risk. Section would know who had told him. But now that didn't matter anymore. Section One couldn't hurt Heidi. She was already dead. She had aids. How or why didn't matter now. Heidi was living on borrowed time. Michael knew how she felt, for he did that everyday.

Reaching for the phone in his pocket, Michael punched in a number. The cell phone had an attachment to it so that it wouldn't be traceable. He listened to it ring, then swallowed hard when he heard the party at the other end answer.

"Hello," Madeline said softly.

"Hello," Michael replied.

Madeline fell silent for a moment. Then she said, "You're with Nikita."

Michael felt a smile curve his lips. He had known that Madeline had sent him on this mission for a reason. It was a test in the eyes of Operations, but for Madeline it was something else. Michael didn't trust her, yet he had no choice but to do so now.

"We need to meet," he said.

"When and where," Madeline queried.

"Midnight tomorrow, "Michael replied. Then he whispered a single word. "Sharon."

Madeline caught her breath. "Where?" she hissed, meaning where were they to meet.

Michael sighed. "Come alone," he told her.

"I understand," Madeline whispered. "Where?"

"The Church of Saint Agnes," Michael replied, then he hung up. It was done. By midnight tomorrow his fate with Nikita would be decided. One way or another. Dropping the cell phone into a wire trash bin, Michael stuffed his hands in his pockets and began walking back up the hill. And the rain still fell.

After hearing the dial tone in her ear, Madeline remembered to hang up the phone. She hadn't been prepared to hear that name. Sharon. For a moment her mind was in turmoil. How could Michael have known? But then she remembered and her heart rate slowed. Heidi. Madeline had convinced herself that the old woman was long dead. That there were no more shadows that could haunt her, but she had been wrong.

Rising from her chair, Madeline left her office. She had to let Operations know that she had business to attend to, and she could not arouse his suspicion. Madeline would do as Michael had bid. She would meet him, at the church, alone. He had left her no choice.

As Madeline walked down the corridor towards Operations office, she considered the ramifications of what she was about to do. She would lie to the man who was more than a friend. But it was a neccessary lie. She also knew that she would do whatever Michael asked of her. He knew her secret and it must remain secret. Of all people, Madeline knew that Michael would not betray her. She had wanted him to make a choice, and he had. He had chosen Nikita. Yet she also knew that Michael's loyalty to Section would not change. He would protect himself and Nikita, but he would never compromise Section One to do so. Yet, that did not make what she was about to do any easier. Still, everyone had their secrets, even Operations.

"Can we talk?" Madeline requested, as she met up with Operations in the corridor. He was heading for his office.

"Of course," Operations replied. He led the way then gestured for Madeline to sit down. When she shook her head he asked, "What's wrong?"

Madeline clasped her hands in front of her, then offered a cold smile. "I have to leave, on personal business," she said succinctly. "It shouldn't take long. Forty-eight hours at most."

Operations frowned, then sat down on the corner of his desk. "Anything you want to talk about?" he questioned, though by the expression on Madeline's face, he already knew the answer.

"I need to this alone," she replied, and her smile warmed a bit.

"All right," Operations allowed. He trusted her, implicitly. "How did it go in Germany?"

Madeline didn't answer for a moment. She moved to the windows and gazed down at the people below, going about their jobs. "It went well," she said softly. "Michael won't be coming back."

Operations was stunned by Madeline's announcement. "What?" he demanded, feeling as if she kicked him in the gut.

"I need him to help me," Madeline replied, turning to face Opeartions once more. "Dulcie will return alone. Michael will come back later."

"I see," Operations replied. A part of him was relieved, for he thought Michael had betrayed Section. That he was with Nikita as Madeline had feared he might be. Sending Michael on the mission to Germany had been a test. Operations was glad he hadn't failed. But another part of Operations was hurt that Madeline trusted Michael with her business and not him. Then again, Operations reminded himself that Michael was an available, and highly skilled, resource. He knew that from his own history. Moving to Madeline now, Operations took one of her hands between both his own. "Come back safe," he beseeched her.

Madeline leaned forward to brush a kiss to Operations' cheek. "I will," she promised, then she pulled her hand free and walked away.

Two hours later, Madeline was in her car heading for a private air strip. She had arranged for her own transportation, as opposed to Section resources. In twelve hours she would be in Germany. As she drove she used her cell phone to contact Dulcie.

"There's something you should know, Madeline," Dulcie began.

"About Michael and Nikita," Madeline interjected. "I already know. When you debrief your story is that I pulled Michael off the plane for personal reasons. Operations already knows about it."

Dulcie was relieved. "Good luck, Madeline," she offered. And she sent up a silent prayer for Michael as well.

Madeline's response was to hang up the phone. And so it had begun.

************

When Michael returned to Heidi's apartment, Nikita was waiting for him. She took his wet coat, fetched a towel from the bathroom, then sat Michael down in a chair in the kitchen while she dried his hair.

"Where's Heidi?" Michael asked. His eyes were closed as he gave in to the soothing quality of Nikita's ministrations.

"She went to bed," Nikita replied, as her fingers combed through the damp strands of Michael's thick hair. Then she sighed and whispered, "She told me about the two of you."

"I thought she would," Michael replied, leaning his head back so that it rested against the soft curve of Nikita's stomach. Then he looked up at her. "I wanted you to know, but...I didn't know how to tell you."

Nikita nodded. "After I got over being angry, then sad, I realized that," she allowed. Her fingertips pressed to Michael's temples, massaging gently and she felt him relax. "I have questions," she whispered.

Michael nodded. "Ask them," he beseeched her.

"When Heidi told you the truth about Section setting you up to recruit you, and that the seven people that died were abeyance ops, not innocents...how did you feel?"

"About Heidi...or Section?" Michael prompted.

Nikita moved around from behind Michael's chair and sat down in the chair across from him. She wanted to see his eyes as he answered. "How did you feel...period," Nikita said softly.

Michael didn't respond for a moment. He closed his eyes and remembered back to that day, when Heidi had made her confession. For the second time, Michael's life had shattered.

"I was angry," he whispered, finally. "And I was scared."

"Why scared?" Nikita queried.

"I don't know," Michael replied. He opened his eyes and let them lock on Nikita's face. But the images in his head wouldn't disappear. "I had come to accept my life in Section One. To believe that I belonged there. And I had become almost...grateful...to them."

Nikita was stunned. "Grateful?" she hissed. "For what?"

Michael let a smile curve his lips. He didn't expect Nikita to understand, for she was truly innocent. "I didn't want to die, Nikita. Not in prison...not at all. Section gave me a life, and it seemed a fair trade to give them my soul. It was a tarnished soul anyway. But when I learned what they had done. That they had destroyed my chance at a future in the real world. That all I had believed was a lie....I was lost."

"What about Heidi...did you blame her?" Nikita prompted. She saw shadows darken Michael's eyes to emerald, a reflection of the pain that was in his heart. Pain that she was just beginning to understand.

"Heidi was a victim of Section," Michael replied. "How could I hate her for telling me the truth?"

Nikita wasn't so forgiving, nor understanding. "But her testimony...her lies...are what destroyed your life, Michael."

He shook his head. "No. If Heidi had refused to help them, Section would have found another way. I blame them, Nikita. Not the individual." It was what he had tried to get Nikita to understand from the beggining. But somehow, Nikita felt the need to lay all of Section's deeds...all it's evil...upon his shoulders.

"What were you protesting?" Nikita asked, redirecting her questions to another aspect of his former life.

"Doesn't matter now," Michael replied, and he didn't realize how weary he sounded.

Nikita sighed. "Heidi said you were a student with a brilliant future ahead of you. What were you studying?"

Michael smiled suddenly, remembering his dreams. "Psychology," he whispered. "I wanted to help people understand their...pain."

"Physician heal thyself," Nikita quoted, softly, her eyes boring deep into Michael's. She watched him look away and tears welled up, but she didn't let them fall. Reaching out to take one his hands, Nikita fell to her knees before him. "Michael...I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"For what?" he countered, surprise showing on his face. Michael looked back at Nikita and felt his heart constrict as the sight of the tears glimmering in her sky-blue eyes.

Nikita pressed Michael's palm to her cheek. "I'm sorry that you've lost all your dreams," she replied, and her sincerity was reflected in her sad smile.

Michael stroked Nikita's cheek with his thumb. "Not all," he whispered. Then he looked at the clock on the wall. "It's late. You should get some sleep."

"What about you?" Nikita countered, rising to her feet. But her fingers tangled with Michael's for she was reluctant to break contact with him.

"I'll sleep," Michael promised, though he knew it was a lie. To sleep meant to dream and he couldn't handle those images. Not tonight. The past haunted him enough while awake. Too many shadows. "Goodnight, Nikita." Michael brought her palm to his mouth and pressed a kiss into her soft skin.

Nikita bent and brushed a kiss to Michael's temple. "Goodnight," she breathed, then she turned and walked away.

Nikita knew that Michael needed some time to be alone and she respected his need. For once, she even understood it. So she swallowed the questions she had about his phone calls and contacts. They could wait until morning.

The moment Nikita was gone, Michael rose to his feet and went to a corner cupboard. On the second shelf was a bottle of scotch. Heidi always kept a stash on hand. Retrieving a glass from the drainboard, Michael poured himself a two finger measure, then he downed it in one long, smooth, swallow. The alcohol burned a trail down his throat then spread warmth throughout his chest. But it couldn't warm the coldness that clung to his soul. Still Michael poured another shot, then he raised his glass in a silent tribute to the man he might have been.

Heidi was an early riser. Since her days were numbered, she hated wasting the hours she had left sleeping. When she entered the kitchen, she wasn't at all surprised to find Michael there, making breakfast.

"French toast," she said, sniffing the delicious aroma that wafted through the air.

Michael turned from the stove to smile at her. "Are they still your favorite?" he asked.

"Always," Heidi replied. Coffee had been made as well and she helped herself to a steaming mugful. "Did you sleep at all?" she asked, but already knew the answer. Shadows were smudged beneath Michael's beautiful eyes.

"What about you?" Michael countered. He moved to Heidi and kissed her pale cheek. "Any dreams?"

Heidi laughed, and one hand touched Michael's face. "Beautiful dreams," she whispered. "Of you."

Michael closed his eyes as the memories her words evoked. In the past few years he had come to love Heidi, for she represented the only truth in his life. Other than Nikita. And what Michael had with her was weaved with lies, betrayal and pain. A fragile future at best, but one he would die for. The future, for Michael, was always just a day away. It was the same for Heidi. Michael wished that he could make time stand still for them all.

"Sit down," he beseeched the older woman, even as he pulled out a chair. "I'll fix you a plate."

"Join me," Heidi requested, when he would have sat down without a plate for himself. She knew Michael well. But she could be equally stubborn and she held his gaze until he conceded defeat and filled another plate with a stack of french toast. "Delicious, Michael," Heidi complimented, after taking her first bite. "You could be a chef." She said this based on three years of enjoying his culinary skills.

"Maybe in another life," Michael replied. He stared down at the food on his plate but knew he wouldn't be able to eat it.

Heidi sighed and put down her fork. "I think that alot," she confessed. Then clarified when she saw the look of confusion on Michael's face. "Another life. I wonder if that is what is waiting for me." Heidi shook her head at her foolishness, but then she saw that Michael wasn't laughing at her. "Do you ever wonder what happens when we die, Michael?" It was a question that Heidi asked in all seriousness.

Michael blinked, then rose to begin clearing the table. He dumped his food in the garbage can then set the plate in the sink. Sunshine streamed in through the small window, but it felt cold to Michael. Then he realized that the silence had become heavy and that Heidi was waiting for him to answer her.

"I hope that for me...death brings oblivion," he whispered.

"I hope so too," Heidi replied. "You deserve peace, Michael. But you deserve happiness as well. Nikita makes you happy."

"Yes," Michael acknowledged. "But all I have to offer her is...pain."

Heidi held out one hand, then she waited for Michael to kneel beside her chair. With her free hand she tucked a cinnamon curl behind one ear. "Life is precious, Michael," Heidi said softly. "It's also too short. We have to take what we can get...I learned that the hard way."

Michael pressed a kiss to the back of Heidi's hand. "So did I," he whispered, and the image of Simone flashed in his head. But Michael banished it. "Sometimes...we have to accept what we're given. It has to be enough."

"But it's not..." Heidi replied, and her voice cracked. She found herself in Michael's arms and the tears she had been holding in for so long began to fall. "I don't want...to die," she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Shhh...." Michael whispered, as he stroked her silver-gray hair. He didn't offer Heidi meaningless words of comfort, for they would change nothing. Instead he held her and let his own tears fall.

************

Madeline was at the church of Saint Agnes at ten minutes to midnight. She hadn't asked Michael where, exactly, to meet him for she could guess at where. So now she stood in the small cemetary behind the church, staring down at a headstone that had nothing inscribed but a name. Sharon Gray. Not even the date of death was on the headstone. Just the name. It was then that Madeline felt a presence and she turned to face Michael.

"What do you know about Sharon?" she asked, bluntly.

"That she's your daughter," Michael replied.

"What else?" Madeline demanded.

Michael took a step closer, his eyes locking with Madeline's for a long moment, then looking away. "Does it matter?" he whispered.

Madeline almost laughed at the question. They both knew that it did. "What else," she repeated.

"Sharon supposedly died seventeen years ago...a miscarriage at seven months," Michael replied. He recited the facts without even a tinge of emotion coloring his tone. "But she's alive and well, living in San Francisco with adoptive parents who love her. She wants to be an architect."

"Do you know who her father is?" Madeline hissed.

Michael closed his eyes. "Operations."

Madeline released the breath she had been holding. "He is never to know about Sharon," she said, her tone cold. "Do we understand each other, Michael?" When she received only silence as an answer, Madeline strode over to him. "Operations believes that his daughter died seventeen years ago. I want him to take that belief to the grave." She paused to study Michael's face and saw only the mask that he wore to shield his thoughts from others. It was very effective, for Madeline couldn't read him now. She seldom could. "I'll give you your freedom, Michael," Madeline whispered, hearing desperation in her own tone. "You and Nikita."

"I don't want to be free, Madeline," Michael said softly, and he felt her start of surprise.

"Then what?" Madeline prompted, and her curiosity was genuine. The one thing she had learned about Michael throughout his years with Section was that he desired freedom. And it was the one thing Section would never give him. Or wouldn't have, until now. To preserve her secret, Madeline would give Michael anything.

Michael didn't answer for a long moment. A part of his mind was contemplating the choice he had made. As always, he had done so without consulting Nikita. Michael was afraid that he would live to regret it, yet he also knew that his choices were limited. Eyes locking with Madeline's once more, he whispered, "I want to go home." Home being Section. "With Nikita."

When Madeline didn't respond, Michael explained. "It's the only chance we have for a future, Madeline. Even if you let us go, we won't be free. Someone, somewhere, would find out the truth and then we would be hunted down and cancelled. I don't want that."

Madeline nodded, understanding him. "Not for Nikita."

"Not for Nikita," Michael confirmed. For himself, death was something he welcomed. It would bring him the peace he so longed for.

"How long have you known about Sharon?" Madeline asked, abruptly changing the subject. Michael's answer would give her more insight into what he was thinking.

Michael knew what Madeline was doing, but he answered her anyway. "Six years."

Madeline was surprised. "Heidi told you?" At Michael's nod she continued. "Then you know that she's my...aunt."

"I know," Michael confirmed.

"She told you about your recruitment," Madeline stated softly. It was not a question, but a fact. She knew Heidi well enough to know that she had told Michael everything.

Michael turned away from Madeline, moving over to a sycamore tree and pressing one hand to the bark on the thick trunk. He needed the support as his knees went suddenly weak.

"I know everything," Michael whispered as he heard Madeline come up behind him.

She touched his shoulder. "Then why have you waited so long to use the information?" Madeline queried.

"It never intended to use it ever," Michael confessed. "Not for myself."

"Nikita," Madeline breathed. It always came down to the beautiful blond. She truly was Michael's Achille's heel. Madeline realized that there were certain details that needed to be worked out. Specifics that they both needed to clarify. "If I do this for you, Michael...what do I get in return?"

Michael had expected the question. Madeline was no fool. "You get your secret back," he replied. "When we return to Section, do what you have to...to make me forget it."

Madeline was surprised by the offer, for they both knew that the steps neccessary to burn the information from Michael's memory would not be pleasant. Then again, Michael's tolerance for physical pain was exceptional.

"Fine," she replied, with a sense of relief. "But if I do that, then you lose your hold over me."

"I know," Michael whispered. He turned to face her again. "It's a fair trade, Madeline."

"Starting over?" she queried. When Michael nodded, Madeline finally understood. Unlike Jurgen, Michael's trainer, who had held Section hostage with information that he had on them so that he could maintain the sense of freedom, thereby living his life on his own terms. A act of selfishness. Michael's intent was anything but selfish. He was doing this for Nikita. To give her a chance at a better life within the confines of Section. It wasn't much, but it was all that Michael had to give. Giving Nikita his heart was another matter.

Michael saw the glimmer in Madeline's eyes, a ripple of compassion, and knew that she understood. "Do we have a deal?" he asked.

Madeline didn't answer. There was still one, loose, thread. "What about my Aunt?" she countered. "Heidi knows my secret."

"She's dying," Michael replied.

"Dying?" Madeline repeated.

Michael nodded. "She has Aids."

Madeline digested this information in silence. When she spoke her voice was brittle. "Where's Nikita?"

"We'll come back in two days," Michael replied. He wanted to give Nikita two days of freedom. She had once said to him that she would die happy if they could only have one day together. Michael intended to give her double her wish.

"Two days," Madeline confirmed. "I'll take care of everything."

Michael nodded. "I know." He trusted Madeline to do so, even though he knew she could not be trusted. But in this they understood each other. Michael watched as Madeline turned and walked away from him. She paused by Sharon's headstone, but only for a moment. Then she was gone, swallowed up by the darkness. Michael leaned against the tree for a long moment, then he headed out as well. It was time to face Nikita.

Nikita was waiting up for Michael. She knew that their fate would be decided upon his return, so she greeted him at the door.

"Well?" Nikita questioned, as she watched Michael tug off his gloves, then shrug off his coat. She was surprised when he came to her and pulled her into his embrace. Nikita wrapped her own arms around Michael's waist and let him rock her against him for a long moment. Then the silence became unbearable and she whispered his name.

Michael pressed his lips to Nikita's ear. "We go back to Section in two days."

"What?" Nikita hissed, pulling out of Michael's arms. She glared at him but he only blinked back at her. "Tell me," Nikita demanded, wanting details.

"I met with Madeline," Michael began, as he moved over to the window and stared out at the darkness. He spent the next ten minutes explaining what he could. Michael did not mention Sharon. He said only that he had information that Madeline did not want revealed, so she had accepted his *deal*. Turning to face Nikita now, Michael whispered, "I'm sorry. It's the only way that we can be together. I know it's not the best way..."

Nikita was across the room, her hands cupping Michael's face. Tears were in her eyes as she kissed him. Then she whispered against his lips, "It's okay, Michael. It's enough...for now."

************

Nikita had no regrets. As she and Michael prepared to return to Section, Nikita thought back over the past two days. It had been wonderful spending time with Michael. He had let his guard down, if not completely, then enough to let Nikita take a peek at the man he had been before Section One had laid claim to him. A man who found beauty in the world about him, and who didn't see every person he met as a potential enemy. She had watched Michael push a young boy on a swing and was able to envision how he must have been with his son. Then he had bought her ice cream only to start a food fight, shoving his cone into Nikita's face. She had been too stunned by Michael's action to react at first, but then she had gone after him, tackling Michael to the ground and lying on his chest, a smile on her face as she listened to him laugh at her. And his laugh had been like sweet music.

But it was time to go back. Nikita walked out into the livingroom to say goodbye to Heidi. Michael was already there and Nikita could see that he was already converting back to the old Michael. The Section Operative. Nikita comforted herself with the thought that she would always have the memories of the past few days to remind her that there was a human being trapped inside the machine. That Michael did have feelings, that he was capable of loving her. Nikita just had to remember to be patient, and she could do that.

Heidi rose from the couch when Nikita approached her. She hugged the beautiful young woman then whispered in her ear, "Take care of Michael for me. He's a good boy."

"He is," Nikita whispered back. "And I promise to take care of him, Heidi. Take care of yourself."

"I will," Heidi replied, pulling out of the hug and raising a hand to pat Nikita on the cheek.

Nikita smiled, then she looked at Michael. "I'll be in the taxi," she told him, knowing that he would need some time alone with Heidi. That it would be their last goodbye.

Michael nodded at Nikita, grateful for her understanding. Once she had gone, he turned to Heidi. The old woman was sitting down again, and Michael moved to sit beside her. When she reached for hand, Michael took it between both his own, his strong fingers gentle over her fragile ones.

"Thank you for everything," Michael whispered.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you, Michael," Heidi replied. She lifted her free hand so her fingers could tangle in his soft hair. He was so beautiful that it made her heart ache and tears filled Heidi's eyes, for she would take to her grave a perfect memory. "I helped to destroy your life, Michael, and you found it within your heart to forgive me. You are a unique man."

"I'm a sinner, Heidi..." Michael replied, his eyes flickering with shadows. "Who am I to judge? What I have lost...I take from others. It's a fair trade."

Heidi shook her head. "You're wrong, Michael. But I won't go into that. You won't believe me anyway." She smiled and patted his cheek. "I'm glad that you have Nikita."

Michael nodded. "So am I."

"I would ask a favor of you, my boy," Heidi beseeched.

"Anything," Michael countered.

Heidi pulled him into her arms, hugging him fiercely. Then she pulled back and stood up, putting distance between them. "When you walk out that door, I don't want you to ever come back. I want you to remember me like this, smiling." As she spoke, Heidi faced Michael and gave him a dazzling smile. "Promise?"

Michael had expected her to ask this and so he nodded. "I promise," he whispered, and they both knew that he would keep his word.

"Go...it's time," Heidi ordered, waving at the door. She kept the smile on her face as she watched Michael rise to his feet then cross the room. She admired his fluid grace even as she inhaled the subtle scent of his cologne. Another memory to add to her scrapbook. Then the door opened and closed, and Michael was gone. Heidi returned to the couch and sat with her hands on her lap. Tears flowed down her face but they weren't for herself. Heidi cried for the loss of innocence. For Michael...and Nikita.

Madeline sat in her office, waiting for the call that would let her know that Michael and Nikita had returned. The moment Madeline had come back from Germany she had gone to see Operations. Six hours later she had him convinced that bringing Nikita back to Section One was the right thing to do. She had managed to smile as she told him that Michael would be escorting Nikita back, at her request. To his credit, Operations hadn't questioned Madeline's motives. He had simply told her that any future difficulties would be placed in her hands and he would expect her to take care of it. His meaning was clear. No more second chances for Nikita. Michael would still be allowed a certain leeway, he had earned it. In the end, Madeline knew that Michael would be the one to protect Nikita, as he always had.

The buzzer on Madeline's desk sounded and she tapped it with a fingernail. "Yes?"

"They're here," Birkhoff said.

"Thank you," Madeline replied, then she disconnected him. Rising to her feet, Madeline left the room. It was time to erase the past.

Walter was the first one to welcome Nikita back. He gave her a big bear hug all the while grinning at Michael over Nikita's shoulder. When Walter's hands started to drift down Nikita's back towards her behind, she shifted so that her hand curled over Walter's crotch. He knew she would squeeze, so he released her but lustful glint in his eye hadn't dimmed.

"Welcome home, sugar," Walter enthused.

"Thanks," Nikita drawled. "It's good to be back." And, to her surprise, Nikita found she meant what she said. She turned to look at Michael and saw Madeline approaching. The smile on the other woman's face gave Nikita the chills.

"Hello, Nikita," Madeline offered in greeting. Nikita nodded. "Madeline."

Michael stepped forward. "Do you want me to debrief Nikita?" he asked Madeline, but he already knew what the answer would be.

"No," Madeline replied. "Langley is waiting for her." Then she addressed Nikita. "You'll undergo an intense debriefing so expect to be here for a couple of days."

"I figured as much," Nikita responded. She smiled at Michael then headed down the hall. No sense making waves.

Michael looked at Madeline. "I'm ready to debrief," he said softly.

She smiled at him. Madeline admired Michael for his ability to face without fear, what would reduce most men to an infant like state. What she was about to put him through would be as close to hell as a human being could get without dying.

"Let's go," she said, turning to lead the way.

"What's going on, Michael?" Walter asked, when the younger man would have made to follow Madeline.

"Nothing," Michael replied. He shrugged Walter's hand off his arm then glided off.

Walter sighed. "I got a bad feeling about this," he muttered to himself. But then he went back to his station and lost himself in his newest project. Michael could take care of himself and Nikita was back. All was right in Walter's world.

Nikita was debriefed for two days. When she was released, she went in search of Michael. He wasn't in his office. After searching every inch of Section, Nikita went to Walter. But all he could tell her was that Michael was with Madeline. So Nikita headed for Madeline's office. She was invited in and got straight to the point.

"Where's Michael?"

Madeline looked up from her files and saw a glint in Nikita's eyes that amused her. The other woman was in a defensive posture, like a mother bear ready to protect her cub.

"He's...ill," Madeline replied.

"Ill," Nikita repeated, a frown marring her brow. "Michael's never ill," she shot back.

"He's human," Madeline countered, somewhat chidingly.

Nikita knew it was something more. "Then..he's in medlab?"

Madeline nodded. "Yes. But you can't see him."

"Why not?" Nikita challenged.

"Because he needs to rest," Madeline said firmly. And she spoke the truth. She had used a drug on Michael that had hallucenogenic properties, to help him to forget Sharon. Another side effect was that his memories of Heidi would be blurred as well. A part of Madeline regretted that fact, but it could not be helped. But she pushed those thoughts aside to lock eyes with Nikita now. "Michael risked everything for you, Nikita. Don't throw it all away. Let it go."

Nikita knew a warning when she heard one, and the threat behind it. She realized that she was treading on thin ice and that Michael would be the one to fall through and drown, so she nodded.

"When can I see him?' she queried.

Madeline smiled. "In a few days. I'll let you know."

"Fine," Nikita replied, then she left the room.

"You're learning, Nikita," Madeline whispered, when the door had closed behind the young woman. Then she focused her attention back on the reports.

Three days later, Madeline called Michael into her office. He had been released from Medlab just that morning and she noted that he was still pale and his eyes a bit glassy as he entered the room. But his stride was purposeful and he faced Madeline with a steady gaze.

"Sit down," she told him.

Michael obeyed, clasping his hands in his lap. "What is it?" he prompted, sensing that this wasn't mission related business.

"Dulcie died last night," Madeline announced. "On a mission."

"I'm....sorry," Michael replied, as he attempted to digest this unexpected information. He was sorry, for he had liked the woman. She had been a true friend to him. But, like all the others Michael had dared to call *friend*, Dulcie had died. He wasn't really surprised. It had been inevitable and that was all the attention he intended to give to her. Michael knew better than to dwell on the things he couldn't change. "Is that all?" he asked, rising to his feet.

Madeline held up a hand. She wasn't surprised by Michael's reaction, but she was curious. "What if next time...it's Nikita?" she challenged. Then she waited. But the only response Michael gave her was to walk out the door.

Michael returned to his office to find Nikita waiting for him. He walked in and sat down behind his desk, then he looked at her.

"Yes?"

Nikita realized that Michael's shields were up and his mask firmly in place. She also noted that he was pale and had dark circles beneath his eyes. She kept her tone neutral as she stated,

"Madeline told me you were ill....I was just wondering how you were feeling."

"I'm fine," Michael replied, his tone cool. "Anything else?" He knew that he was shutting Nikita out and that it would hurt her, but Michael couldn't afford to let her in right now. He was too raw inside. Madeline had just finished pouring salt on an open wound and Michael was fighting to control the pain. The effort was exhausting, all the more so since he couldn't let it show.

"No..nothing else," Nikita replied. She turned to go but stopped in the doorway. "I'll be home all night," she said, then she shrugged. "If you want a cup of coffee...or something."

Michael nodded. That was all. Then he watched Nikita stroll out the door and past his windows. The moment she was out of sight he whispered, "I'd like that."

Two weeks passed. Michael and Nikita were sent out on a mission to blow up an industrial plant. Michael was in the van with Walter and Birkhoff, Nikita was inside the compound with five other operatives. The charges had been set and Walter started the sequence. All the operatives had checked in and were heading back. Five of them had entered the van as the timer counted down to ten seconds.

Michael tapped his comlink. "Nikita," he whispered. There was no response. Three seconds remained and Michael closed his eyes as zero appeared and the first explosion rent the air. It was followed in quick succession by a dozen more.

Walter and Birkhoff exchanged glances, reliving a moment of deja vu. But just then the door to the van opened and Nikita stepped inside. She saw the expression on Walter's face, mirrored by Birkhoff's and realized that they had believed the worst.

"I had to take a leak," Nikita explained, not caring that it sounded a bit crass. It broke the tension and everyone laughed.

Everyone but Michael. His eyes locked on Nikita's face. She stared back at him, a smile curving her lips and Michael nodded, just a subtle tilt of his head. Banging on the wall of the van he ordered, "Go."

As they pulled away Michael remembered Madeline's words. ...what if next time it's Nikita... 'But not this time,' Michael answered in his head. Not this time.