La Femme Nikita and all the characters. are owned by USA networks, Warner Brothers, and Fireworks Productions. No profit or any other harmful infringement is intended. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes only. This is an alternative ending to season one.

WORSE THAN USUAL

By Sfgal

Nikita was home at last, sitting at her computer ...

The only sins I ever committed were on behalf of the Section

It had been worse than usual. She had been ordered to kill ... again. He had been unarmed, caught between two organizations that wouldn't hesitate to kill him. But Nikita wouldn't pull the trigger. Some one else would have to do that.

Her meeting with Madeline had been remarkably easy. Nikita had been unusually open with Madeline. Nikita's truth was amazingly simple. "I don't know if I can do this anymore" and "I can't live like this" were spoken directly to Madeline, looking her straight in the eye.

Then, she finally admitted out loud, to herself and Madeline ... Michael's not the solution to my problem. That illusion was now gone, too.

I'm only guilty of not taking charge of my own destiny

Michael hadn't liked what he heard from Madeline. Nikita was not eating. Nikita was not sleeping. Nikita was not making friends. She was completely isolated. She simply was not adjusting to life in section.

Nikita had led him to believe otherwise.

Various conversations played through Michael's mind, as he drove to Nikita's apartment. What approach? What profile? Why couldn't she just...do the job? Michael knew his material inside and out. It didn't matter what she did prior to section. The ends were just.

A fake obituary claimed I died in prison

Madeline had always considered Nikita a success story. While Nikita's recruitment had been unorthodox, the experiment had gone better than her original projections had indicated. The benefits had out weighed the costs. Every organization needed diversity, in order to thrive. The steady recruitment of convicted killers, had been easy. Already callous, all section needed to do was redirect the anger, train in necessary skills, and instill discipline and order. The survival instinct would take over from there. Nikita brought creativity and spirit to section. Madeline thought this spirit was essential for the section. Madeline admired it, even enjoyed it. Nikita's banter, while predictable, was always passionate, regardless, if she was right or not. Madeline had made allowances for Nikita's individuality.

Madeline completely understood Operations' position. He always considered Nikita a failed experiment and a royal pain in the ass. In spite of Nikita's training numbers, he could not afford to have a loose canon on the Mission Staff. There was too much at stake, the cost of failure too high. Madeline saw the need for discipline, order and people who understood chain of command. Yes, Nikita could improvise, she had the street smarts, but Operations could never excuse the fact that she refused to follow orders. From West Point to Section One, following orders was a way of life for Operations. As a captured Army Captain in a North Viet Nam prison camp, following orders had ensured the survival of the entire camp for years. Not following orders in section was simply unacceptable.

That statement is true

Nikita just couldn't shake Madeline's words "You will never be free from the Section"

Michael had made up yet another barely believable story for Operations ... about the team being compromised, the team being under fire, the team being at a tactical disadvantage. He could not protect her anymore.

Nikita walked to the kitchen cabinet and removed her 9mm Glock. She checked the clip and safety and returned to the computer.

Michael approached Nikita's door, knocked, but no answer. He knocked again, speaking urgently through the door, "Nikita, we have to talk... ".

Nikita heard his voice, pulled the trigger, ended her life and was finally free from the section.

All Michael heard was a single gun shot on the other side of the door. He drew his gun, forced the door open and scanned the apartment for hostiles. All he could see was her blood on the wall and her body on the floor in front of the computer.

Nikita's notes were displayed on the computer "The only sins I ever committed were on behalf of the Section. I'm only guilty of not taking charge of my own destiny. A fake obituary claimed I died in prison. In the end, that statement is true."

He cleared the screen. He called for Housekeeping. They were well versed in these matters. His instructions were clear. Leave the location immediately. But he couldn't just leave, pretending as though she was merely his material. The connection between the two of them was undeniable. She made him laugh. He hadn't really noticed at first. He just looked forward to work, 5 am, knowing she was there. He had, after all, spent nearly everyday with her for two years, training, testing, and training some more. Even when she wouldn't speak to him, he loved seeing her. Even when he was furious with her, he still looked forward to seeing her at her workstation on level 6. Gradually, she became his first choice.

Her spirit was gone. That was the real tragedy.

Michael walked over to the stereo, selected her three favorite cds from the rack and quietly left the apartment, just as housekeeping arrived.

The End.

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