(The following poem was written by Sanlin-the "Honorary Texan"-to commemorate a meeting of the Texan Ops and Dana's first viewing of the movie "J'en Suis." As well, it was penned to immortalize the succinct-but eminently wise and profound-LFN philosophy of pbj.)

REMEMBER "J'EN SUIS"

The wicked women gathered
In front of the TV
Preparing for the experience
Of watching "J'en Suis."
Tina had her drool-proof bib on;
High Priestess Dana wore her Scotchgarded robe;
Jaron passed out drinks and goodies;
And Raven whispered into pbj's earlobe-
As Sandra pressed her nose up against the TV-"Nekkid Mikey."
From the sportive opening scenes,
They knew they'd like what they'd see:
Wintertime or not, they turned up the air conditioning,
After watching "Dominique" get hot and steamy
From his greco roman wrestling match-
Which strenuous action, of course, necessitated
A long, hot, refreshing shower...
(At this point, some of the Texan Ops had to be resuscitated.)
But, pbj just smiled and quietly said, "Nekkid Mikey."
They knew what you-know-who would say (okay, its pbj ;-))
When Dominique had to find a decidedly clever way
To seduce his wife-and to distract and delay
Her from finding out that his finances were in disarray.
Yes, sure enough-without getting mean or rough-
The passionate pair took 'a tumble in the hay.'
Everyone knew what THE operative
With the *keenly* focused mind would say:
And, sure enough, pbj grinned and chortled, "Nekkid Mikey."
With that magnificent, manly physique,
They knew Dominique was *definitely* not an... antique
And they shouted, "Giddy-up, 'Papaloosa.'"
But, pbj-waiting, patiently-did not speak.
They weren't surprised when Mikey sold his furniture
For a fortune-it's nothing they didn't know before.
After all, they thought, doesn't EVERYONE
Want to get inside Dominique's 'drawers'...
But, pbj-a tear in her eye, mumbled-"Where's 'Nekkid Mikey'?"
Well, what can you say, when Mikey suggests a "Chateau Lay"-
(A very fine wine, of course)-while smiling, with full force.
The Ops paused the tape, freeze-framing that winning smile...
And they sighed, off and on, for quite a while; but, then resumed, of course.
For, with squeals of delight, they beheld a wondrous sight-
*Almost* "Nekkid Mikey" trying on some *hot* clothes.
They swooned and giggled, as he put some 'spark' into his wardrobe;
And pbj, seeing Dominique trying on different briefs, sighed, "I suppose-
When he strikes that 'brief' pose-that's ALMOST 'Nekkid Mikey...'"
Everyone was hoping for another peek
Of the divested Dominique, when he visited Victor's place;
But, although the waterbed sprang a leak,
When they saw a change of clothing was not forthcoming, pbj's face
Looked glum. Things didn't improve. It was like the "Got Milk?" ad.
"You do? ...But is it Skimmed or Homo?" What is this, a promo
For "Milk. It does a body good," they thought. "Quick, we're losing pbj,"
Noted Dana, with concern. So they rewound the tape, and, in slow mo
Replayed the bedroom scene for pbj until her color began to return,
And, she could-once more-weakly say, "Nekkid Mikey."
Pbj was still rather pale, when they got to the "L'esprit du MALE"
Art exhibit. "THAT's not 'Nekkid Mikey,'" she complained.
So the other Texan Ops fed her pecan pie and ice cream,
Keeping her quietly distracted and restrained.
The next very disturbing, virtually impossible scene
Was definitely in keeping with an inn called 'Weeping'-
Dominique, sans vetements; but, unable to... perform.
The only redeeming element that was keeping
The Texan Ops from utter horror was pbj's happy shout-"Nekkid Mikey!!!"
Then, the show got better, giving the Ops
Some time to recover from that "Weeping Willow Inn" shock.
They sighed-their hearts moved by pity (and delight)-
At the sight of naked, conflicted Dominique, balanced on a rock.
To add to the enchantment and power,
This spellbinding scene was closely followed by-guess what?
Another long, lovely, stimulating scene in the shower.
The Ops just sighed and said, "He's HOT!!"
But, pbj said it best: "Nekkid Mikey."
RD's Dominique still looked good
Dressed in leopard-spot pants (*grooowwllll...*) and balanced,
Sitting, appealingly, on the tres chic hood
Of a jeep-everyone, but pbj, was entranced.
And pbj felt cheated, when Dominique's next nude scene,
By his friend-with-a-flare, was unseated-even though Dominique caused
A mistaken, warm round-from all that passionate, primal sound-
Of appreciative, thunderous applause.
"Can't fool me," grumped pbj. "That's NOT Nekkid Mikey."
And Dominique thought of acting like the "Terminator"
With the 'playing-hard-to-get' decorator; but, 'be still their beating hearts'...
They were about to get to one of the most memorable parts-
The steamy, delicious scene with the laundry cart.
Even taciturn pbj said, "Oh my GOD.
I would pay good money, for that ONE scene,
To be playing the character, Maude."
Everyone else moaned and said, "We know what you mean."
Collectively, they decided, this was *almost* as good as "Nekkid Mikey."
And-for the movie-that's about 'all she wrote.'
From this important meeting, the Texan Ops
Wisely decided, *any* RD character could 'float their boat.'
But, of them all, Mikey, they concluded, was still the top;
They replayed and discussed their favorite parts of the movie-
And even uttered the blasphemous (for Texans) words,
"FORGET the Alamo...
REMEMBER 'J'en Suis'!!!" (At least, that's what *I* heard.)
And pbj? Well, she summed up the night, happily remembering, "Nekkid Mikey."

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