"Reality Sets In" is dedicated to my nephew and niece, because: If they misbehaved, I'd say, "No! Don't! Stop!" And, for awhile, They would regard me with an innocent-almost beatific-smile. They'd listen with seeming sincerity and calmly look me in the eye, Stop giving the dog a radical 'haircut,' and politely inquire, "Why?"

Light Verse

I have a burning question
And this is, expressly, it-
If Michael and Nikita *could* have kids,
Who would they get to baby-sit?
If little "Billy" and "Susie"
Sneaked off while Birkoff's computer screen was lit
And got into his Twizzler and Oreo supply,
They'd take a sugar fit.
(Don't ever try to tell me
Sugar doesn't make kids hyper.)
The Torture Twins would run around
Trying to recapture their favorite torture rats and vipers,
Loosed from their cages
By the rambunctious kids,
Who "just wanted to play with them."
Madeline would groan and shut her eyelids.
Later, it certainly wouldn't be
A good scene-at all-
When Susie demanded of Madeline,
"You thief! Give me back my doll!"
Operations' steely voice
Would take on a deadly hush
As he snapped, "Billy,
What do you mean you 'flushed'
My POW-MIA pin
By 'accident' down the potty?
Time Out-Go to your room, young man,
And consider the fact that you've been naughty."
Walter'd be busy working at his desk-
A fact Section wouldn't want to alter-
But do you think C4 AND kids
Should be around a man like Walter?
Next, in line, of course,
If you think, deductively,
Michael would be forced to whisper
Into a terrorist's ear, seductively,
"What do you want?"
Hearing the response, "To die," Michael would say,
"That can be arranged-
IF you watch my kids for me today."
After that, it'd be, "Hey, you. Yes-YOU-
As a childcare candidate, you look likely."
(And who, among us, could say 'No'
When confronted by those smoldering eyes of Mikey?)
So, you'd buckle both the kids
Into the child safety seats of the Van of Death,
While saying, "Billy! Stop teasing your sister,
Making faces, and holding your breath."
Back at Michael and Nikita's house,
You'd really have to be on your toes:
Compared to dealing with THESE kids,
Red Cell and Adrian could hardly be considered foes.
You'd say, "Billy, please untie your sister-
Now, there's a good lad.
The 'sensual silk rope' kit
Is strictly for your mom and dad.
Susie-put the Uzi back in Michael's closet.
Please, don't give me any lip.
And don't think I'm not aware
You've hidden Nikita's favorite gun and clip.
That's it, you two, I swear-
I'm calling 'Grandpa' Operations for backup.
"Hello, Operations? Abort Nikita's mission, or I'll bring in-THE KIDS.
THEN we'll see how your precious *chain-of-command* stacks up."

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