Of course now that the opportunity presented itself, Michael took advantage of it, knowing that he was not endangering Nikita by asking her probable boss to confirm her status. The shocked momentary silence on the other end was enough to confirm for Michael that he was right. However, further proof came when the party on the other end swiftly recovered their voice and told Michael, in no uncertain terms, that were he to broach this subject again with *anyone* the consequences to himself, Nikita and his son would be dire.
Receiving the confirmation he needed, Michael was, threats aside, more than willing to let the matter drop. Obviously, Center had an agenda and with the intel he had just provided for them, Michael knew he was in no danger from them. And now that he knew Nikita was in their employ, neither was she. The only remaining question he had was why Center let Nikita be subjected to the Gelman process, but that had to wait. For now, Michael contented himself with the knowledge that there was hope for a future for himself and Nikita in the organization, away from Section.
Of course, now that he knew that George was a traitor, Michael made sure to side with Section in any power struggle until Center decided to 'out' the man. That was precisely why he sided with Operations and Madeline when George tried to 'dissolve' them after yet another failure against Red Cell. He supposed he surprised everyone, not just Nikita, when he told her that they wouldn't survive under George and threw in with Operations. Unfortunately, he had also probably tipped his hand to Oversight's head and was therefore not surprised when George included him in the neural scrapes scheme.
Professionally and personally, things changed after George's failed takeover attempt.
Operations tried once more to get rid of both of them while simultaneously propelling himself to Oversight by failing to inform Michael and Nikita of the true mission behind a downed satellite. Operations and Madeline had somehow underestimated his tenacity at completing the mission. They knew he would either complete the mission or die trying. Did Operations really believe that he and Nikita would be outwitted and outmaneuvered by a handful of Russian *sleeper* operatives? Apparently he did.
That mission to the US midwest had turned out to be a turning point in Michael and Nikita's relationship as well. Whatever her orders from Center, Nikita was 'coming back to him.' Apparently she'd finally recovered enough from the events of the past year (brainwashing, mission marriage, fictitious freedom from Section, neural scrapes and Birkoff's death just some of the highlights) enough to tentatively try again.
In an unexpected twist, Operations not only left the couple relatively alone after that mission, but also seemed to suddenly regard Michael with favor again. So much so, in fact, that Section's leader was more than happy to leave Madeline behind enemy lines and blow her up together with said enemy and immediately elevate Michael to her position. The look of astonished disappointment on Operations' face and restrained fury on Madeline's face when she returned to Section in one piece was very telling.
Before Michael could puzzle out the reasons behind, and the implications and consequences of, the sudden division of Section's former Siamese twins, he and his team were sent on a mission that Nikita disappeared from. Michael put the new mystery on back burner during the eleven days he and Nikita spent together once he found her.
As soon as they came back in from their 'vacation' Nikita was sent on a mission into a mental institution. While she lay recovering in Medlab from the assorted drugs she was given, Michael received a call summoning him to Center. He was instructed to make his excuses and be at the rendezvous point where a car would be waiting in four hours. Convincing Operations he had a hot lead on Red Cell's interim Cardinal, Michael quickly made his 'escape' and drove the three plus hours to the rendezvous location.
Once there, Michael got into the waiting limousine and sat back for the short ride to Center. Before being allowed entry he was searched (both physically and electronically) and unexpectedly allowed to keep his weapon. Knowing that the identity of the Center's leader was strictly need to know for very few, Michael was surprised when he was led to the door marked Director and through the reception area to the Director's private office.
Stepping in and seeing Mick Schtoppel sitting behind the desk was too much of a shock to mask, but years of training kept his reaction to a minimum and he quickly settled his features back into his usual 'blank stare' and waited for the apparent man in charge to speak.
"Mick." Michael greeted simply when it was obvious he'd have to speak first.
"Actually, it's Mr. Jones. Sit down, please. We have much to discuss and are short on time." The Englishman returned pointing to the chair in front of his desk. "When do you have to return to Section?"
"In twelve hours." Michael replied, although he was sure the man behind the desk already knew the answer.
"Good. I'm sure you have questions and they'll be answered in time. For now, you'll listen." Jones got down to business, no trace of Mick Schtoppel visible. "We've been watching you, Michael, for quite some time, in fact."
"We?" Michael interrupted.
"Yes. We." Jones returned, patiently, knowing how the level operative must be feeling. That was part of the reason for this conversation, allaying some of the doubts and worries before moving on. "You've always stood out, so to speak. Not always to your advantage."
"But now?"
"Now, things have changed."
"How?" Michael asked, seeing nothing encouraging in Mick's being Center's day to day leader, remembering his 'relationship' with the man over the last four years.
"You've passed all your tests and are ready for more."
"More what?" Michael asked wearily of the man who was about to pass sentence on him, suddenly tired of the never-ending games and deceptions of the last ten years, having just come from Medlab where he had to watch the only person he had left go through hell yet again, because of a mission that could have been profiled differently. "Politics? Games? Manipulations? Persecution?"
"Not very optimistic about the Agency, are you?"
"Why should I be?" Michael asked, *both* men aware he was referring to his 'hardships' since being transferred to Section One and the fact that no one, certainly not the Agency, ever ran interference on his behalf, so why would now be any different?
"I'll grant you that you've had a rougher time than most, but you've also accomplished and achieved more than most. Perhaps Paul and Madeline have been a bit harsh recently especially, but if you hadn't been run through the wringer, so to speak, you would not be here today."
"Why am I here today?" Michael countered.
"As I said, it's about time you moved up."
"Up?" Michael asked, surprised. "I didn't realize insubordination was grounds for promotion."
"Normally, no" Jones conceded. "But, again, there were extenuating circumstances. Quite honestly, considering those circumstances, you've shown extraordinary restraint. Nikita, as you've already discerned on your own, was 'told' to show restraint. By the way, I still find it remarkable that you found out about Nikita working for us. Even Madeline, the master psyche op, did not suspect anything, let alone a Center operation. How long have you suspected?"
"A while." Michael replied noncommittally, then added at the look on his superior's face. "I suspected the Agency over two years ago, but I wasn't certain of Center until more recently."
"Over two years, almost from the start." Jones mused. "How did you find out?"
"I knew her too well."
"Ah, I see." Jones smiled, knowing that was all he was going to get out of the other man on that subject. "So tell me, you didn't confront Nikita, despite *her* penchant for confrontation. You didn't even start probing until fairly recently. Why?"
"What makes you think my 'investigation' was recent?" Michael returned.
"Even better then. If you suspected, why wait? Surely you weren't hoping that Nikita would tell you herself? You must be aware of the consequences of such a 'confession?'
"Of course. Undoubtedly the same as if I had openly pursued the matter. Center cannot afford be very different from its secondary branches in such a matter. Consequences of blowing one's cover, regardless of the circumstances, are usually fatal to all parties involved." Michael answered referring to the probable consequences to him, Nikita and surely Adam and Elena as well. "Besides, I reasoned that it was internal and at a higher level than Section. That was enough."
"Good point." Jones conceded. "So, you also discovered Nikita's 'personality transplant' so quickly because you 'knew her very well,' I suppose?"
"Yes." Michael paused. "May I ask a question?"
"Of course." Jones replied, curious as to what he would inquire about.
"I understand why you followed Section's maintenance orders on Nikita." Michael started, referring to 'Mick' splashing the vial of the Gelman maintenance drug around her apartment. "But why allow your own operative to undergo the process in the first place?"
"Well." Mick faltered momentarily, taken aback by the question, assuming Michael would have first asked the more selfish question of whether or not there would repercussions for his past manhandling of 'Mick.' In fact he'd been surprised it hadn't been asked already. Then again, Adrian did warn him to be on his toes around this one. "As mundane as it sounds, the answer is bad intel."
"Really?" A skeptical Michael returned.
"Yes. Really." Jones confirmed. "Our source was certain that the adjustment would take place inside of Section, not on a mission. The error was indeed regrettable, we had no intention of sacrificing Nikita. Had you failed to deprogram her, Center *would* have stepped in, but we highly doubted it would come to that given your motivation and resources."
"Of course." Michael replied resigned, knowing that he would never be immune, despite his position and proven loyalty, to being used by those above him.
"I'm curious." Jones stated in preamble to the topic that was bothering him and figuring this was his best chance, while he was still higher in the pecking order, to get anything out of the usually reticent level five operative. "You understand where you and I are on the proverbial food chain at this moment."
"Yes."
"Yet you're not worried about my reaction to our past dealings. I can understand it now as I've told you enough to alleviate worries about you future. But even when you walked in, there was surprise, but no fear even though you've thrown me, your superior, out of a moving vehicle, not to mention caused and threatened bodily harm countless other times. Why? Confidence or indifference?"
"Indifference to my fate and confidence in my continued usefulness." Michael answered.
"And demotion wouldn't have mattered?"
"Your guards allowed me to keep my weapon, though without bullets. Had you brought me here for cancelation there would have been no need to return it to me." Michael skirted the question.
"True. But had that not been the case, you'd still be indifferent to cancellation, wouldn't you?" Jones persisted.
"Purposely looking for it, no But, Adam and Nikita *would* be better off." Michael replied wearily, implying that the only two people whose well being mattered to him would do better without him. If he was dead, he couldn't be used against Nikita and with Center's protection she would not need his anymore. As for Adam, he would be safer from both sides of the 'war' if his father were truly dead. For himself, the war had taken a heavy toll on him over the last fifteen years. He was rapidly tiring of fighting for every little moment of peace. Having to leave Nikita behind in that institution took more out of Michael than he had left to give.
"Why didn't you fight harder for your own little niche?"
"I still believe in Section's goals. And if I had fought back any harder than I did Adam would have suffered the consequences."
"Section's goals." Jones echoed. "I find it amazing that despite the last two years you're still loyal to the Section."
"Section is necessary." Michael replied, then knowing what Jones really wanted to understand added, "You put Operations in charge and, despite what you're now implying have been questionable tactics over the last two years, you've kept him there. Who was I to challenge *your* management decisions?"
"Very good, Michael." Came the reply from the woman emerging from the opening door behind Jones' desk, the door matching the wall so perfectly so as to be invisible to the naked eye. Then, turning to her immediate subordinate, "I told you verbal sparring with this one was even more dangerous than with Madeline."
"Adrian." Michael greeted, standing up.
"You don't seem as surprised to see me as 'Mick.'" Adrian stated, herself surprised.
"No." Michael confirmed.
"Intriguing."
"What now?" Michael asked straight to the point.
"Thank you for your assistance. I'll be in touch." Adrian acknowledged to Jones, then turned to Michael. "Come, we'll leave through the underground entrance."
"What about Section?"
"Oh, don't worry about them." Adrian placated, knowing what Michael really meant. "Nikita will be fine, I've seen to it and Paul will be receiving a communiqué saying you've been summoned to Oversight for twenty four hours."
********
The ride to the airstrip was short as was the flight. The subsequent brief drive to Adrian's chateau was also quiet, Adrian preferring that the long conversation ahead begin once at their destination rather than on the road.
Michael did not mind the silence, understood the game and kept his features blank, knowing Adrian would be studying him on this trip. A few rounds of "no, thank you" in response to offers of various amenities were all that were spoken by the man in black, always firm but polite. Michael did not need Adrian analyzing his choices, so he kept saying no, blank expression intact.
Once they arrived at Adrian's 'hideaway' his hostess led Michael into her 'home-office' and went to sit behind her large oak desk while bidding Michael to sit in the chair in front of it. Knowing that waiting for Michael to break the silence was pointless and they only had the day to finish matters, Adrian began the conversation in blunt fashion.
"Why weren't you surprised to see me at Center?"
"I thought there was someone higher than Jones and you seemed a logical choice." Michael replied, not expecting this to be the first question, but prepared nonetheless.
"How did you come to that conclusion?" Adrian inquired curiously, the young man in front of her showing yet again why he was the right choice.
"Your behavior and other anomalies during our 'partnership' suggested there was more than an organization that had 'fallen on hard times.' The p-6's may have been a discontinued model but the com equipment was too advanced." Michael explained, then asked a burning question of his own. "Would you have allowed the programming to remain permanent?"
"No. If you hadn't succeeded Oversight would have stepped in. Nikita has a future in the organization, but only as herself, not the robot Paul and Madeline thought they wanted." Adrian replied truthfully before turning the conversation back to its original heading. "What else tipped you off?" Adrian asked, knowing there had to be more in order for Michael to make the jump.
"It was highly unlikely that you succumbed to the mind control while I was out, especially given your prior assertion that Section had taken Nikita to 'places they never took you.' In light of Nikita's recovery from a more advanced process, it wasn't realistic that you did not recover as well." Michael elaborated. "There were other anomalies I backtracked afterwards to suggest that perhaps you weren't retired as everyone was led to believe. Given that you hadn't been heard from *officially* in several years it stood to reason that you were very highly placed."
"Seeing as your backtracking was not discovered, it seems your contacts and sources are more far-reaching and impressive than I had considered." Adrian complimented.
"Thank you." Michael returned, then tried for another question of his own. "During the 'partnership' you tried to kill me, why the reversal?"
"Oh, I had little doubt you would best the three operatives, you just surprised me with the relative ease with which you dispatched them and with the speed with which you discovered my memory loss ruse."
"A test." Michael surmised.
"Yes. If you failed, you'd be dead courtesy of my operatives." Adrian confirmed then elaborated. "Once I realized my mistake and Section succeeded in carrying out Nikita's reprogramming, I knew there was little choice for your next move. I had already decided you would advance; it was time and there was nowhere left for you to go in Section. I used the mistake to gauge how far you should advance."
"My insubordination convinced you of my qualifications for advancement?" Michael questioned.
"It was your reaction to being painted into the proverbial corner that was being evaluated." Adrian answered. "Insubordination is never pardonable unless, of course, by design."
"Your design?" Michael asked, realization and the accompanying distaste dawning, but none of it showing in his features.
"Yes. I saw an opportunity to evaluate Section One's key personnel and I took it." Adrian confirmed. "You defied Paul and embarrassed Madeline by bringing in Bergomi. You must have known there would be repercussions once Paul returned."
"Some, yes." Michael agreed.
"But you thought George's favor would have minimized the cost."
"Yes." Michael admitted.
"Actually, George's non involvement was my doing." Adrian paused. "As I said, personnel changes throughout Section One and Oversight *were* going to occur. Those two branches are still the cornerstone of the Agency and had to be 'fixed.' It was just a matter of deciding who went where."
"So you pushed, thereby testing everyone."
"Yes." Adrian replied matter-of-factly. "George was told to stay out of it and Nikita was under orders to pursue a personal relationship with you, in spite of Section's orders."
"You knew the approach Operations and Madeline would take." The sentence more of a statement than a question, Michael refusing to address the revelation of Nikita's 'orders' until he was ready to do so without his carefully constructed mask crumbling. He'd known Nikita's true employer would give her an assignment, he just didn't think *he* would be that assignment.
"Considering Madeline and Paul's paranoia coupled with their need for reprisal for Bergomi, it was not difficult to foresee a situation." Adrian continued, admiring the younger man's restraint and continued composure in light of her revelation regarding Nikita's assignment of a year ago, but wanting to see how 'composed' he really was, added, "Nikita's apparent desire to initiate a more 'personal' relationship gave Madeline the perfect tool for reminding you of your position. Paul would not have needed much, if any, convincing to approve Madeline's profile."
"So, our relationship was by design?" Michael finally asked, unable to hold out any longer, needing to know if the one thing he'd thought real since his relationship with Simone was as much a lie as the rest of his life.
"Are you certain you're ready to hear the answer?" Adrian asked.
"Does it matter?" Michael returned, shutting down his emotions and preparing himself for the answer.
"No, it doesn't." Adrian smiled thinly, glad that Michael understood the game. "Yes, your relationship was by my design. Whether or not it was something more on Nikita's part, I honestly don't know or care." Adrian continued, reminding Michael where Section's current leaders had learned much about ruthlessness and other 'wonderful' qualities. "She's an excellent operative and actress, well suited for a bright future."
"I know." Michael replied closing the subject, knowing the rest of this topic was fodder for only him and Nikita, if the chance arose, something Michael was still unsure of. "Why am I here?"
"To solidify your future in the organization." Adrian replied, not surprised at the turn of the conversation, knowing where Michael's thoughts must be heading.
"Where in the organization do I fit in, if not Section?"
"Humility is a good trait, but you would not be where you are without ego as well." Adrian responded. "Where do *you* see yourself."
"In the Perch." Michael played along. "Or Oversight."
"Initially, you *were* headed for Oversight, to replace George."
"Over Operations?" Michael asked, surprised to have been considered over Operations and his superior's leadership and military experience as well as overall decade lead on Michael in anti-terrorism experience.
"Paul has been in Section too long, the mindset required there ingrained in him." Adrian replied, not without sadness. "He would not be effective in Oversight at this time. Perhaps down the road, with the knowledge of what he needed to 'change' in himself, things could be different. As it stands, regardless of the outcome of your, shall we say, interview, Paul will remain where he is."
"What changed your mind about my initial positioning?" Michael asked, noting that Adrian had failed to mention anyone else's fate, other than Operations', in her reconfiguration plans.
"You did."
"How?"
"I've been in this 'business' a long time. Too long." Adrian sat back. "When George decided to stay on rather than retire, I had you going to Oversight to train as George's replacement and then moving George up to my position once George felt you were ready to take over his job."
"What about Mr. Jones?" Michael asked, not addressing George's future until Adrian brought it up.
"Mick has known from the outset he would remain at his current position until his retirement."
"And he's alright with that?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact. He doesn't want the headache or responsibility, he says he has more than enough of both already, so much so, in fact, that he almost misses MI6." Adrian replied, approving Michael's question. It was essential to know whether or not to expect a power play from a subordinate in the future. "As for George," Adrian continued, steely voiced with a touch of sadness, "I believe in comeuppance. Since George decided to go after Paul and Section, he'll get exactly what he deserves."
"You're going to hand him over to Operations?"
"Yes, but not on a silver platter." Adrian replied cryptically.
"Another test?"
"Exactly." Adrian smiled thinly, the subject of George's treason almost as difficult for her as Nikita's duality for Michael. "Quite honestly, no offense to your proficiency but, considering George and Paul's recent history I'm surprised it was you who uncovered the deception rather than Paul. I would have thought Paul would have moved heaven and earth by now to discredit George."
"I got lucky." Michael countered modestly. "Backtracking the meeting where I 'interrupted' George's egress was an advantage Operations did not have."
"It does take a certain amount of luck to survive and flourish in our underground world." Adrian agreed. "But I'm counting on plenty of skill on your part, in addition to the luck."
"For what?" Michael asked dutifully.
"I'm retiring. For real this time." Adrian smiled slightly. "And I want *you* to take my place."
"Head Center?" Michael asked. As prepared as he thought he was to face his future and as much as he'd been hoping and rationalizing that this was why Adrian had revealed herself to him and brought him here, Michael was still shaken to actually hear the offer. Not taken aback enough though, to show more than a momentary reaction before shuttering his features once more.
"That *is* my position, yes." Adrian replied, amused but not surprised at Michael's reaction. This was a huge leap for the level five Section operative and the responsibility of running Center was an enormous burden to bear, for anyone.
"What makes you think I haven't been disenfranchised, that I'm still a loyal member of the organization?"
"Good question." Adrian returned. "You remember Mr. Starnes?"
"Red Cell's former strategist?"
"Correct. The window Section so conveniently found to pick him up was provided by me."
"How?"
"Satin." Adrian replied. "She's another one of mine, carefully cultivated through the years."
"I see." Michael said slowly, processing the information and piecing it together quickly. "You used her to test my loyalty."
"Yes. I had hoped as well that Section would have used the opportunity to deliver a better blow to Red Cell than they did." Adrian sighed in disappointment. "But then, this is part of the reason I'm ready to retire."
"I don't understand."
"Using Section One and Oversight as an example, I'm the one responsible for putting key personnel in their positions. Looking at George, Paul and Madeline and recent events I see that their time has passed. I'd prefer not to choose their replacements, I'd rather the next generation do so."
"What do I have to do?" Michael asked, understanding Adrian's reasons. Michael didn't bother with denials, they both knew he wanted this. But he also knew that taking over for Adrian would not be as simple as Operations handing him command of The Perch when he was called away.
"Pass one more test."
"Of course." Michael was not surprised.
"I've thought about it quite a bit." Adrian paused. "I do not doubt your skills. You've shown the qualities and leadership skills required for this position, despite your relatively young age. I would have liked to move you up in stages but, with George's imminent downfall it's best to do it now. You can start fresh, choose your own personnel, my only requirement being that you leave Mick where he is until he is ready to retire. In fact, he'll be invaluable to you in the beginning."
"He doesn't hold grudges?" Michael asked, only half joking, referring to his not so 'cordial' past with the other man.
"No, he understood why you did what you did." Adrian replied. "Some of your actions that he witnessed actually convinced both of us of your suitability."
"How?" Michael asked curiously.
"Ironically, some of the actions that dropped you from Paul and Madeline's good graces are the same ones that elevated your status with me." Adrian summarized. "Trying to help fellow operatives and innocents should not be reasons for abeyance. In the end the Agency is a team, not a group of individuals. We *are* supposed to help each other, not bury our heads in the sand hoping that we're not the next target."
"Thank you."
"For what?" Adrian asked, surprised.
"For restoring my faith in the organization as opposed to just sharing the same goals." Michael replied sincerely, seeing a light at the end of a long dark tunnel. "What must I do to convince you to appoint me your successor?" Michael asked.
"I need to be sure you're as good at reading and predicting the people around you as I *think* you are. To that end I have a scenario in mind..."
Before stepping into his guests' line of sight, Michael put on his sunglasses, gaining another advantage over his subordinates as he'd be able to see into them without them seeing into him. Watching his guests' reactions without betraying his own, Michael noted with satisfaction that he had correctly predicted that his appearance would be too great a shock for any of them to mask.
"Thank you for coming." Michael stated ironically as he sat down across from his former colleagues, his greeting a purposeful provocation.
"This meeting was optional?" Operations asked.
"Extending courteousness and respect for subordinates is as important as extending them to superiors, perhaps even more so." Michael replied, an obvious but accurate jab, his purpose in beginning with that simple statement twofold. The statement would put them on notice and leave no doubt of two things. One, Michael was in charge and two, things were going to change. Michael knew Nikita would be the last to recover - she had the most information and ramifications to process. He also knew Madeline, the most 'politically' savvy and by far the most patient of the three, would understand and adhere to the wisdom of silence, which of course left Operations as the first to speak in response to his 'goading.'
"Of course." Madeline spoke up before anything regrettable could be said. Whatever their past, Michael was obviously now in charge and Madeline knew it was in everyone's best interest to let Michael lead the meeting.
"I'm certain Madeline has informed you of her 'meeting' with Adrian." Michael stalled, his gaze, unbeknownst to the other three, fixed on Nikita from the moment he stepped out on the patio, trying to gauge her reaction to this turn of events and only partially succeeding. Knowing he'd be able to look at the surveillance tapes later, Michael returned his attention to all three of his guests mindful of the fact that he could not afford to be distracted any longer. "And you've been informed of the new personnel configuration. Any questions regarding the reconfiguration before we continue?"
"Who's reconfiguration is this?" Madeline asked, believing that the answer was vital to their future. "Yours or Adrian's?"
"Mine." Michael replied without hesitation.
"Why?" Nikita finally found her voice.
"Section was coming apart, its leaders were squabbling rather than maximizing profile efficiency and determining who was undermining them."
"George was taken care of." Operations defended.
"Yes. But he should have been found out earlier." Michael contradicted. "and far more useful intel should have been extracted before his cancellation."
"How could you know if there was anymore information to be gained?" Madeline inquired.
"The file I compiled and brought to Center contained more information on George's activities than you uncovered." Michael purposely stated, knowing they'd understand by his wording that he hadn't been working for Center at the time, just brought the volatile information to their attention.
"When was this?" Madeline asked, trying to ascertain how long Michael had been involved.
"Just before you had Nikita and me 'transferred' to Section Eight." Michael answered, yet another reminder that Operations and Madeline should be grateful that Michael did not hold grudges.
"Why didn't you follow the chain of command and bring the intel to us?" Operations wanted to know.
"You had nothing to offer in exchange. " Michael replied bluntly.
"So you'd been working for Adrian and Mr. Jones since then?" Nikita asked accusingly, recovered and putting the pieces together and coming to the conclusion that she had, yet again, been used by Michael for the organization's benefit. This time, though, it seemed that *everyone* he knew had been used, not just her. To what end, and why he would put himself through subsequent ordeals were questions that still needed answering.
"No." Michael refuted. "I wasn't called to Center until after the Crystal French mission."
"That still leaves much time unaccounted for." Nikita persisted, referring to why he would have been subjected to Red Cell's torture and his later 'abeyance' mission if he had already been chosen to head Center.
"Adrian required a final test." Michael replied.
"One that proved your capabilities." Operations surmised.
"No. My capabilities weren't in doubt." Michael replied, knowing what was being asked. "It was my suitability that was in question."
"I don't understand." Operations admitted, and from the looks of it neither did Madeline or Nikita.
"External affairs were a given, but Adrian wasn't as certain about internal matters. She provided a scenario and I was required to profile it. The purpose was to determine how well I knew and could predict the actions of those around me." Michael elaborated, watching the various reactions of his subordinates as they quickly realized they'd all been manipulated for his advancement.
"Considering where we are, I suppose that means you passed." Nikita stated the obvious, unable to entirely suppress her bitterness.
"Yes." Michael confirmed, as usual refusing to defend himself.
"If you had failed?" Operations asked, surprising everyone, including himself. He knew the answer before he asked, but he found himself defending Michael against Nikita's obvious accusation. Operations had been in the Agency the longest of any of them, longer than everyone but Walter. He knew the ways of the organization and that regardless of the rewards for success, the consequences of failure were always the same.
"I'd be dead." Michael replied bluntly, reminding them of the shades of gray, not everything as obvious as it seemed or every action by choice. He was as surprised as the rest that the older man had defended him. Perhaps their relationship wasn't as fractured or combative as he thought. "The details aren't important, the bottom line is that you are all here for a reason." Michael changed the subject, refusing to admit, even to himself, how much he hoped that Nikita understood he wouldn't have manipulated them, her especially, the way he had if the choice had been his. He was sure Paul and Madeline saw the 'big picture,' but Nikita had a penchant for missing it, even after her recruitment to Center.
"Why have you chosen to reveal yourself as the head of Center?" Madeline asked, wanting to know before they went any further. "Adrian never did, at least not until she 'retired.' Why did you feel the need?"
"Adrian preferred the anonymity. She did not want her former peers to think they had an edge because they knew her and her style or start second guessing themselves to fit what they thought she wanted."
"You don't share that concern?" Madeline asked surprised.
"You've only observed me 'in command' for a couple of relatively short stretches. There wasn't sufficient time to learn anything about my possible style or what I expect other than the fact that I do what I think is best rather than what I'm told." Michael replied. "But, you *are* aware of the limits of my tolerance and what lines cannot be crossed without consequences."
"Why did Adrian promote you despite the insufficient experience?" Operations asked, one last stab at a definitive answer as to why he was passed over.
"Adrian knew all she needed to know about me and everyone else before she made her decision." Michael evaded, preferring to discuss specific shortcomings in private, something he would do only after some amount of observation to their adjustment to the new regime.
"You're the one who discovered George's treason." Nikita spoke out with sudden realization. "It's why you said we wouldn't survive under him and sided with Section."
"Partially." Michael answered, not bothering to explain that in his opinion, regardless of George's loyalty, it had also been the right thing to do. The consequences would have been dire for all of Section, not just key personnel, had the takeover succeeded. "There were quite a few other factors as well, but they are irrelevant at this point." Michael effectively ended this part of the discussion.
"So what *is* relevant?" Madeline inquired.
"Although I am under no obligation to explain my personnel configuration choices, out of courtesy to the three of you, I *will* explain so that there will be no doubts as to the individual qualifications that brought about this alignment. It would not be prudent to assume that explanations for my actions will be forthcoming again." Michael warned, pausing before he explained their 'sentence'
"Adrian felt that you were not ready to go beyond Section and I agreed." Out of respect, Michael first turned to Operations, the most senior of the group.
"I know. Lack of compassion, right?" Operations returned sardonically, his wording purposely identical to Madeline's during her earlier conversations with Adrian.
"Only partially." Michael countered then continued bluntly. "Neither you nor Madeline possess that quality, true. But there were other considerations. Adrian felt that you and Madeline had outlived your usefulness as a team. I agreed."
"*Adrian* believed?" Operations asked skeptically. He could understand why Michael would want to think so, justify what Operations thought was revenge for the younger man's 'fall from grace' over the last year and a half in Section. But what exactly did Adrian find lacking?
"She believed you became too comfortable with each other."
"Too comfortable?" Operations echoed.
"Yes." Michael answered. "You lost the balance. There was no 'second opinion' anymore, just one. Your recent dissension was a direct consequence of that failing. You left Madeline in Red Cell's compound because you didn't need her counsel anymore, you wanted 'new blood.."
"Perhaps, you have a point." Madeline conceded. "But, why did you move me and leave Paul and not the reverse?"
"As I said, Paul is incapable of leading Oversight at this time and second is not an option."
"A good soldier can take orders from *any* superior." Operations countered, trying to impart that he was not the power hungry 'villain' that many perceived but rather a soldier fighting the good fight by whatever means necessary.
"Perhaps *you* would adapt." Michael amended seeing that Operations misunderstood his reasoning. "But your move to Oversight as second, regardless of the true reason would be perceived as a demotion and weaken your credibility. Considering the recent problems in Oversight, any lack of credibility, whether real or perceived, is not an option."
"My moving to Oversight does not pose the same problem." Madeline commented.
"No." Michael confirmed then elaborated on the reason he felt Madeline was needed at Oversight as opposed to another Section. "Petrosian is qualified to assume George's position, but his lack of leadership and management experience in the organization coupled with a weakness in 'people skills' requires a second who is politically savvy and experienced."
"What about me?" Nikita interjected, the need to know if Michael's decision to leave her in Section was merely a form of retaliation for her 'betrayal' wearing out the last of her patience. "Why Section One?"
"Your actions and behavior over the last three years in combination for Center and Section have revealed a less seasoned mixture of the 'qualities' of your colleagues. Your similarities to Madeline make you suitable for the position. Your similarities to Paul together with your own experience in Section will prevent any inappropriate command decisions."
"Is that it?" Nikita asked, not liking the overt 'resemblance' to those she swore she'd never become.
"What else is there?" Michael asked, hoping Nikita would realize that the rest of this conversation was not for public viewing.
Before anything else could be said or asked Davenport appeared with a pda that required Michael's immediate attention.
"That will be all." Michael stated to the trio after he'd read the pda. "If you hear from me again anytime soon it will not be to your benefit." Michael stood and concluded the meeting. "If you have any further questions or issues follow the proper chain of command. If I feel there's something worth discussing, you'll be notified."
And with that Center's new boss went inside, followed by his ever present shadows while Davenport escorted the visitors out of Center's secondary, more secure 'office' and into the official beginning of the new regime.
********
After his guests had left Michael retreated into his office to take care of the crisis Davenport had brought to his attention. Satisfied with his solution, Michael sat back and gave himself a brief respite, reflecting on the whirlwind of the last few days.
After his 'rescue' by Nikita and their conversation in the forest Michael had jumped on the waiting motorcycle and sped off to his rendezvous with Adrian. He'd known Nikita would find a way around the suicide mission, he just hadn't considered the option she took and how much it would affect him. But, knowing there was still much to do before the 'real' transfer of power, Michael ruthlessly suppressed his emotions and put the conversation and its implications out of his mind.
Even now, Michael couldn't afford to dwell on it or his and Nikita's relationship. He'd only officially been 'in power' for thirty six hours. He had decided to reveal himself to the personnel he knew would be key to his success or failure and to establish the parameters of the new regime even before his command was assured. And because it had to be done quickly so that the changes would be swift, he had no time to try to resolve his 'personal' life first. As it stood now, he wouldn't have that chance for quite a while.
Going without a personal life was nothing new to Michael. Although it was never painless, now it was almost unbearable. He knew *his* feelings for Nikita, but he certainly did not know how she felt about him. Oh, Michael was sure Nikita's feelings about 'protecting the innocents' was real and she would do well in her new role. But as for her feelings for him, for all Michael knew, Nikita's only feelings at this point were of disgust at how easy a target he had been for her these last three years and anger that he was still 'around.' Perhaps even worse, she felt nothing at all. Given Nikita's attitude at the meeting, any one of those feelings were possible. He couldn't even say that he didn't know Nikita well enough anymore to gauge her real feelings, because the truth of it was that he really never knew her at all.
Michael couldn't help replaying the conversation they'd had when he went rogue and came into Section looking for Adrian. Her time under the influence of Gelman's mind control process was probably the only time her objectivity where he was concerned was intact.
Nikita: "You don't belong here anymore, Michael."
Michael: "Why are you saying that?"
Nikita: "'Cause you don't have what it takes. If you did, I'd be dead."
While the fact that Michael was where he was essentially refuted that statement, it nevertheless was how Nikita had perceived him - weak. Had that always been the case, before and after her brainwashing, he didn't know. Adrian had told him that Nikita's 'actions' had been mandated. Michael knew that Adrian probably had an idea of Nikita's real feelings but he knew he couldn't ask the older woman anymore on the subject than he already had.
Whatever the feelings, Michael didn't have the luxury of time to dwell on them. There was much he needed to accomplish before he could breathe easily enough to seek out the truth behind the lies. Adrian had told him she would be available for 'advice' in his first month at Center, but Michael figured he couldn't go to her - he had to sink or swim by himself. Until his 'probation' was over, Michael had to concentrate on business only, otherwise his regime would be *very* short.
Before returning to the business at hand, Michael allowed one more thought, a vow that as soon as his audition was over and Center was 'his' he would resolve his personal life and move on, whichever way the road led. He knew the road could never lead back to Adam and Elena. His son deserved to grow up 'normally' without a father who'd only put his life in danger, from allies and foes, alike. And Elena deserved a life with someone who could give her the love that Michael never could, certainly, at least, not from the moment that he'd met Nikita.
Michael *had* hoped that the road would lead back to Nikita. She was as bound to this life of fighting for the greater good as he was. But, if the road turned out to be a lonely one, then so be it. The good he knew he could do at Center would have to be enough.
The atmosphere in the car on the ride back to Section One was even more subdued than on the way to Center. Each of the three occupants were lost in thought, having even more to ponder now that they knew who it was that was in charge.
Operations' thoughts were very similar to Madeline's. They both ruminated over the implications of a subordinate promoted over them, specifically a subordinate that they'd carefully cultivated and manipulated for their own designs. The irony of their pupil (and sometime whipping boy) ascending over them was not lost on either of the two longtime colleagues. Their question at this point was whether they were such good teachers or was Michael such a good student? Ego dictated the former, but logic dictated a combination. Would either of them have done anything differently? Would it have mattered if they did? Those were questions that would haunt both of them for a long time to come.
Neither felt the need to question the validity of Adrian's decision. After Madeline had 'debriefed' upon her return from her meeting with the older woman, she and Operations had gone out to a 'farewell' dinner. After twenty years of working together their 'silent' communication was as good as Michael and Nikita's had once been. Neither of them were the monsters that they were viewed upon by many, but rather two people, one by choice, the other by design, who'd devoted their life to a worthy cause but thankless job. With a minimum of conversation mixed in with quite a bit of reflection, they'd both realized, however belatedly, that somewhere along the line they'd lost their way.
Michael and Adrian had been right, the fact that they were trying to 'off' each other was a symptom of a far deeper problem. Fittingly, seeing Michael in his new position was a final reminder that he was better suited for this task. He'd left them in positions of power and trusted them to learn from the past and not abuse their positions again. Both Madeline and Operations knew that if the roles had been reversed, they would not have left Michael alive, let alone in a position of authority. They were sure that Michael had fail-safes in place in case they didn't 'live up to expectations' but they each swore to themselves that they would make sure that the fail-safes were never needed.
Nikita was not in the same boat as Operations and Madeline so her introspection was quite different than theirs. Her improved acting skills had served her well as she had, for the most part, been able to maintain a calm façade during that short 'meeting.' Lucky for her, her two seatmates had been as shocked as she was. Even now they were busy with their own thoughts and the personal implications of Michael being in charge and not dead from an abeyance mission to scrutinize her reactions and behavior.
Of course, Nikita's initial reaction was one of shock. She'd thought Michael gone from any aspect of the organization, her setting him 'free' the most selfless thing she could have done for him. Hurt followed closely behind. Nikita betrayed everything for Center and then betrayed what little remained of her former self in order to free Michael from the Agency. She'd not only betrayed those she considered friends, but she'd also betrayed what she was.
That realization in turn, brought out the last of her emotions - anger. Anger at herself for being duped once again was quickly replaced by anger at Michael for 'playing' her yet again. Smiling bitterly to herself, Nikita recalled the phrase 'love is blind.' In her case, stubborn, too. Her blindness where her former mentor was concerned credited him with feelings and emotions where there weren't any.
Nikita knew she wasn't entirely blameless. She'd been lying to Michael, and most everyone else, for three years. She'd always complained that the ends did not always justify the means, but considering her actions on behalf of Center, what right did she have to complain or be angry? Did the fact that Nikita did what she did with the intention of 'cleaning up' Section absolve her?
While it was true that Michael had used her again, had used her innate qualities to further the organization, could she really be angry at him? One thing Nikita had finally realized not all that long ago was that whatever Michael had done in the five years she had been an operative, he'd done for the organization. Nothing he did to her was 'personal.' If she was truthful with herself, Nikita had to admit that she couldn't even say that much about her own actions. She started working for Center out of pure selfinterest and she'd used Michael's (and others') feelings for her over the years to stay alive without breaking cover. No, Nikita admitted, she couldn't be angry, her actions had been even more selfish than his. Living in a glass house, she had no right to throw stones.
The final emotion that surged through Nikita was disappointment. She'd remembered his concluding remark at the meeting. She had known, despite the sunglasses, that Michael was looking at her as he'd said it. She had felt it. A variation of 'don't call me, I'll call you,' Nikita realized. Again, she thought, after all that she had done, could she blame him?
By 'promoting' her, Michael showed that he still trusted Nikita professionally, at least. Maybe someday they could build on that.
********
Unaware of the change of power in Section, Oversight and Center, Walter made his way to his new apartment after his first official day at The Farm.
After his 'evaluation' Walter wasn't about to hang around. The only reason he hadn't packed his bags right after he left that room was to find out what would happen to the others. After thirty years you'd think that Walter would know better than to be surprised or disgusted with anything that went on in Section or the Agency. Well, they'd surprised him alright, threw him for a whopper of a loop.
After saying goodbye to Jason, Walter prepped one last mission. He'd only done it so he could help Michael escape cancellation. The poor kid had sacrificed what was left of his soul to keep Nikita's intact, only to have it all thrown back in his face. To think that it was Nikita that he had felt sorry for and supported all those years.
The look of sorrow and resignation on Michael's face when he picked up his gear was enough to drive an old man to tears. After Michael refused the solvents and compressor with a polite thank you, Walter knew he'd been there too long. He didn't even hang around for the completion of the mission. He packed up what little he wanted to take with him and was on a plane before Michael's team had reached their first mark. Not needing or wanting to know the details, Walter had disregarded any incoming messages since he got here and hadn't sent any of his own.
His first day at the farm convinced Walter that even if sending him here was the only way to avoid cancellation, he'd rather be as dead as Michael surely was. Walter already missed his 'workshop.' He'd been told as soon as he arrived that his reputation had preceded him as did the reasons for his 'transfer' and he'd be watched very closely to make sure he stuck to protocol. Teaching wasn't what Walter was made for, building new and better 'toys' so that his operatives came back alive and in one piece was all that Walter wanted.
Walking into his still unfurnished apartment, Walter turned on the lights and got yet another shock to his thankfully strong heart.
Standing by the lamp in his customary black, gun at the ready was the last person Walter thought he would ever see again.
"Michael!" Walter exclaimed, stunned but glad to see the younger man alive. "You took the stuff after all."
"Not exactly." Michael countered, putting his gun away, knowing Walter had come alone.
"Not exactly? What's that supposed to mean?" Walter asked, his pleasure at seeing the level five operative alive turning into confusion at his usual cryptic style of conversation. "Wait a minute, they've got me under video surveillance, they'll see you."
"It's taken care of." Michael assured, nodding at the scrambling device posted on the wall underneath the foyer camera.
"Isn't that one of mine?" Walter asked suspiciously, peering at the scrambler.
"Yes, the loop only runs for another twenty minutes." Michael confirmed. "Let's go."
"Go? Go where? Hey, what's going on?"
"A job offer."
"What? You're supposed to be dead and you're offering me a job, just like that?" Walter asked following Michael outside, even more confused.
"You may wish I *was* dead after you hear what I have to say."
********
Six weeks later, Michael's 'hidden' Center office:
"Yes." Michael took a deep, calming breath after checking the security camera and called out after remotely opening the deceptively simple door to his private office and standing out of politeness and respect.
"Michael." Greeted the older woman, nodding at Michael's ever present bodyguards and stepping through the doorway.
"Adrian." Michael returned.
"You don't seem surprised to see me."
"I was expecting you. Eventually." Michael confirmed.
"I got tired of waiting for you to come to me for help."
"I didn't think I needed any." Michael countered and continued to stand, waiting on Adrian.
"I seem to remember you telling that to Paul a few times as well." Adrian returned in amusement.
"Is there something I can do for you?" Michael asked politely, refraining from starting the conversation at a disadvantage by asking if there was anything wrong.
"As a matter of fact, yes." Adrian replied, sitting down and waiting for Michael to do the same.
"Can I get you anything?" Michael asked, returning to his seat behind the desk.
"No, thank you. I see you've redecorated." Adrian commented, openly looking around, referring to the more austere decorating style Michael seemed to prefer. "Spartan, almost provisional."
"Functional." Michael corrected politely.
"Those who don't know you could very well infer that you're not very confident of your ability to remain here."
"They'll learn."
"Yes, I suppose they will." Adrian returned thoughtfully. "But, I didn't come here to discuss your decorating style. I came to applaud you."
"For what?" Michael asked, his features remaining blank despite his erratic heartbeat.
"Your independence. Contrary to what you had undoubtedly believed, my offer of counsel was genuine." Adrian replied.
"I assumed Mick would keep you apprised of any potential situation and you would come forward with any concerns." Michael responded to Adrian's unspoken question.
"Section paranoia?"
"Experience." Michael countered.
"Part of the blame lies with me, I'm afraid." Adrian sighed with more than a little remorse. "Your 'experience' obviously, is a byproduct of George, Paul and Madeline's fears, which unfortunately I did nothing to stop until rather late."
"It was a learning experience." Michael placated.
"Perhaps." Adrian conceded. "But an unnecessary one."
"At least I know what not to do." Michael returned, the ghost of a smile gracing his lips, more relaxed in Adrian's presence now that he thought he knew where the conversation was going.
"Finally, a bit of humor." Adrian smiled. "Some use humor as a defense to cover unease, but I get the feeling you're comfortable in my presence."
"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" Michael asked, getting back to the heart of the matter.
"No." Adrian allayed Michael's lingering apprehension. "I came to say goodbye. Center and the Agency are in good hands."
"Thank you." Michael returned. "Will you stay in touch?"
"I'll leave that up to you." Adrian replied, her confidence in Michael's ability confirmed over the six weeks he'd been in charge.
"What will you do now?" Michael asked, genuine curiosity his only motive.
"I've bought a substantial piece of property, perfect for maintaining an extensive garden." Adrian smiled.
"I should have guessed." Michael smiled in return. "Your bodyguard detail is ready. Two pairs, twelve hour shifts each."
"It's not necessary." Adrian argued again halfheartedly, knowing Michael would not concede this point.
"Perhaps not, but I insist." Michael was adamant.
"Very well. Although I fail to see why anyone would want to come an after an old retired bird."
"Is that how Jones referred to you?" Michael guessed, amused.
"Yes." Adrian grinned. "His exact words were 'an old retired bird like you needs protection and I'm not talking about the store bought kind, either.'"
"I see Mick Schtoppel's personality was not entirely fabricated."
"Oh, no." Adrian confirmed. "I can tell you from experience it's genuine."
"Wonderful." Michael murmured. "I'll have to make certain our contact will be limited."
"You'll get used to him." Adrian commented then smiled at Michael's doubtful look. "Really. He's not so bad once you get used him."
"I'm sure." Michael relented a bit, seeing for himself in the last several weeks how good Mick was at his job and cutting him some slack for it.
"Good. Now, of course, you know I can't leave without imparting a bit of advice."
"Of course." Michael replied with a hint of humor.
"This place, the work done here, is very important but, it can't be everything. That's where George and Paul went wrong. You need an oasis, a sanctuary in the storm."
"Horticulture." Michael deduced. "You had your gardens and Madeline has her plants."
"Yes. Madeline accepted much of my guidance in the early years." Adrian confirmed then added her parting counsel. "But it doesn't have to be things, it could people too."
********
Before Adrian's words even had a chance to sink in, Michael received another visitor.
"Yes." Michael sighed after his guest cleared 'inspection,' not really looking forward to what he was sure would follow.
"Hey." Walter greeted, coming in and making himself comfortable in the chair Adrian had vacated a few minutes ago.
"Will this take long?" Michael asked, wanting to be alone with his thoughts.
"Depends on how stubborn you are." Walter retorted. "So what did Adrian have to say?"
"Adrian?" Michael stalled, not really surprised that Walter was aware of the identity of his previous visitor.
"Yeah, Adrian. The woman whose office you've taken over." Walter fired back. "Well, was that it? She gave you her seal of approval?"
"You're too inquisitive for your own good." Michael evaded.
"So, what else is new?" Walter argued. "Now that you're officially and unequivocally the BMOC, can you concentrate on your personal life already?"
"I don't know that there's anything to concentrate on." Michael replied, knowing who Walter was referring to.
"Oh, man. Not this again." Walter sighed, then watched as Michael visibly flinched at the mention of their subject's name. "Nikita thought she was granting you freedom, she didn't mean what she said."
"Perhaps." Michael replied softly.
"Perhaps?" Walter asked incredulously, failing to understand how the man in front of him could be so blind.
The ringing of the Michael's phone saved him from further unwanted conversation. Waving an angry and muttering Walter away, Michael took a deep breath to compose himself and returned to business. He was grateful for the interruption, for he couldn't explain to Walter that, regardless of her intentions and the profile, Nikita's actions only served to show that she didn't know him at all if she thought that what he wanted was 'freedom.' Worse still, he couldn't even be sure whether Nikita 'freed' him out of love or as a result of a guilty conscience.
Two crises and many long hours later Michael's first 'official' day as the head of the Agency finally came to a close. With nothing to look forward to but an empty home, Michael decided on a motorcycle ride to clear his head. Abandoning his less than thrilled shadows with explicit instructions to 'stay behind' and a vague notion of when he would return, Michael took off into the cold, crisp night.
With no idea of where he was headed, Michael just drove. Before he knew it he was crossing the tunnel into France. With nothing to deter him, knowing he had to resolve his past one or way or another before he could hope to move on, Michael drove into an unfamiliar upper class suburb and proceeded to the address he had gleaned from Center's mainframe over a month ago.
Hoping that the object of this impromptu late night/early morning visit would be home, Michael parked his bike and headed for the small, three story apartment building that housed nine high ranking officials from various government agencies. Showing credentials and rattling off clearance codes that made even the veteran doormen/guards visibly nervous, Michael confirmed the person he was visiting was home then politely advised the guards that it would be in their own best interest to forget he was there.
Walking the short distance to the elevator, Michael pressed the third floor button and tried to clear his mind on the short ride up. Reaching the desired floor, he stepped off the elevator and taking a calming breath headed for the unfamiliar apartment. Ringing the buzzer before he could change his mind, Michael stepped back into view of the camera and waited.
Suspicious that the guards hadn't called in a visitor, the person on the other side of the door grabbed their weapon and checked the surveillance camera. Visibly affected by the view in the monitor, the penthouse occupant took a deep breath of their own before opening the door.
"Michael." She greeted as calmly as she could, given her racing heart.
"Nikita." Michael returned the greeting.
"Would you like to come in?" Nikita asked, nerves making it difficult to speak in a normal voice.
"Yes." Michael replied, not sure whether Nikita's nervousness was a good thing or bad. "Thank you."
"Can I get you anything?" Nikita stalled, not at all sure that she was going to like the conversation.
"No, thank you." Michael, answered, his usual politeness not giving Nikita any indication of the reason for hi visit.
"Why are you here?" Nikita asked the obvious question, not even inviting Michael to take off his coat before she fired the first question.
"To resolve the past." Michael answered cryptically, afraid to give too much away, still standing in the foyer.
"Why did you wait so long?" Nikita blurted out before she could stop herself, horrified at herself, especially given Michael's typically ambiguous response.
"I had to secure my position first." Michael replied, realizing Nikita was masking her feelings as much as he was.
"I thought that was resolved six weeks ago." A confused Nikita returned, referring to their 'meeting.'
"No." Michael countered. "That was probation."
"I see." Nikita responded, faintly embarrassed that realization hadn't dawned earlier, but then again when it came to Michael..."And now."
"Today was the first official day."
"And you came here right off the bat, so to speak." Nikita prodded, still standing in the foyer.
"Yes. But if you're busy, I can come back." Michael replied, his heart in his throat.
"No, of course not. Please, stay." Nikita replied quickly, belatedly offering to take Michael's jacket.
"Thank you." Michael returned, shrugging off his leather jacket and sitting down on the far side of the couch while Nikita hung it up in the closet.
"So." Nikita said as she sat down on the opposite side of the couch, not quite at the end, but with plenty of space between them. "Where do you want to start?" Nikita questioned, knowing Michael would not initiate the conversation.
"The beginning." Michael supplied, then quietly asked. "Why did you come back in after Lyon? Center?"
"I wasn't recruited by Center then." Nikita replied, startled that he didn't know when Center first came to her. "I'd have thought Jones or Adrian would have told you when I was approached."
"I didn't ask."
"Oh." Nikita responded, not able to pick up whether that had been due to indifference or fear of the answer. Oh, well she thought, if they were going to air out their dirty laundry, she might as well just plunge right in. "I told you the truth then, at least what I believed the truth at the time."
"Then when?"
"During my forced downtime, after Jurgen's death." Nikita answered, knowing he was referring to her Center recruitment.
"They gave you a choice?" Michael asked.
"They made me believe I had a choice, yes. But they stacked the deck in their favor."
"How?"
"I was ripe for their picking." Nikita replied self-mockingly, remembering her naïveté "I was an easy target, even more vulnerable than before. As far as I knew, you shoved me aside and then you and Section used my feelings *again* and a good man died because of it. My status was far from certain as well. When I still didn't jump at the chance, they were ready for that, too. Any lingering misgivings I had about working against *you* were put to rest when I was shown a picture of you with Adam and Elena and told who they were to you. At that point I had had enough of both you and Section, didn't even know who I despised more. Center took 'advantage' and offered me a chance to help change things. I grabbed the opportunity with absolutely no remorse."
"Then why did you 'help' me against Enquist and Rene, among others?" Michael needed to know.
"My survival in Section was not a given, it was up to me to stay alive until they needed me." Nikita replied, her voice and eyes hard. "So, I finally listened to your number one lesson, I did what I had to do to survive. I couldn't turn 180 degrees around and set off alarm bells in everyone's heads. Instead, I used your feelings of what I figured were guilt and responsibility for your material for protection."
"I see." Michael said, turning away in pain at Nikita's words, even though he couldn't blame her for them.
Stunned at Michael's inability to mask his reaction and the intensity of the reaction itself, Nikita was paralyzed by the implications and didn't register Michael's withdrawal and immediate move to get out until he was halfway to the door.
"Michael." Nikita finally stirred, reaching out to grab his arm before he got to the door.
"It's okay. I understand." Michael jerked his arm away, not turning around, continuing to the door.
"You *would* understand." Nikita mused aloud. "You really wouldn't blame me for hating you."
"What right would I have?" Michael asked as he grasped the doorknob, realizing he had been right to believe that Nikita's motives for not letting him die on the abeyance mission were to clear her conscience rather than the result of any 'deep' feelings she had for him. "Goodbye." He finished, opening the door, his jacket and everything else forgotten in his haste to get out before his mask completely crumbled.
Snapping out of her haze Nikita ran out the door to find Michael waiting for the elevator, his emotions walled off for survival, features seemingly permanently frozen into 'machine mode.'
"Michael, wait." Nikita implored. "I'm sorry."
"For what? The truth? Surviving? Don't be." Michael answered without even turning around, weary and resigned. "I'm not."
"That's not..." Nikita stopped abruptly and changed the subject. "Why are you leaving me behind?"
"Behind?" Michael asked, confused.
"In Section." Nikita elaborated.
"It's where you're needed." Michael replied, still puzzled as to why Nikita was questioning her position.
"That's not what I mean." Nikita returned. "Look, can we go back inside?"
"What for? You've made your position and feelings clear."
"I was angry with you and I didn't know how you felt. Hell, I still don't." Nikita sighed. "Please? Just a few minutes?"
"Alright." Michael replied quietly, not being able to refuse the pleading he'd seen in her eyes, even though he knew he would be leaving himself open to more pain.
