"I can't exactly say what happened," one source is quoted, as he adjusted his glasses, "all I know is that it started out as a slow day, you know. Nothing unusual happening, just the same ol, same ol and then all of the sudden, they were there. All over the screen like little blips of mayhem. They swarmed all over the place, in the air shaft, in the hallways, through the plumbing, they were EVERYWHERE, nowhere was safe! They were devouring everything in their path. It was just like when they ..."

At this juncture we had to pause in the interview so that my source could collect himself. Obviously, recounting this tale had brought back some very painful memories. After a quick candy bar, a soda and a rousing game of Quake, he was able to continue.

"Anyway, like I said. There they were! Swarming all over the place. Well I buzzed Operations to inform him of the attack:

'Close the elevators, everyone to command center, we are being invaded by ... Ummm, Sir, you might want to see this ...'

I tried to warn him but at first he wouldn't believe me, so I transferred the screen up to his monitor and then all hell broke loose. You thought the attack was what caused the pandemonium, but that's not true, it was Operations! He, like, freaked. He started running around screaming for Nikita, barricaded his door, was clutching his tie and having some kind of problem with his socks. Well, of course, his hollering for Nikita caught Michael's attention and after he called 'Josephine' in, Michael went up to ascertain the problem. I'm not sure what happened next because the window went black, but I heard Operations screaming 'I told you so! I told you so!' a couple of times."

Q: Did you see what happened?

A: Yes.

Q: What happened?

A: There was a minor altercation.

Q: I heard Operations yelling. Can you tell us what happened?

A: Apparently Operations was having a flashback of some kind.

Q: A flashback? Vietnam?

A: No, (cough) something more recent.

Q: Oh ...? (At this time, this reporter paused hoping that the Hunk, I mean my source, would expand on his answer but of course, he didn't. Instead, he just looked at me --- AT ME!!!)

Q: Back to the invasion, 'minor altercation'? I heard that Section One was under attack. It that true?

A: (a blank look from that oh so strong face and those green eyes - SWOON)

Who told you that?

Q: Uh, I don't remember ... is it true?

A: (A soft slow smile - PANT PANT) Come ma chere, surely you can remember. Who told you that nasty rumor?

(OHMIGAWD he touched my hand!!!!!)

(Due to technical difficulties the assigned reporter was unable to complete the interview. Luckily her tape recorder was found and with it the explanation for her apparent inability to say anything but

"Those eyes" and

"He touched me!"

"He touched me!"

Q: You saw the beginning of the invasion?

A:Yeah, I saw it. All hell broke loose. Pardon my French.

Section One's Weapon Specialist smiled abashedly for a moment.

Q: How did you learn about the invasion?

A: Oh. Well, I was in my shop cleaning some of the guns. I could tell that something was happening because Operations was shouting, Michael was worried about Nikita (I can read that look by now, you know) and the observation window went black. Birkoff was looking real pale and seemed to be clutching his Oreos extra tight, when all of the sudden Operations bellowed down and wanted to know our nuclear weapons capabilities. He wanted to know if we had the capability for a "controlled" nuclear blast, preferably several hundred small ones. He sounded slightly hysterical and all I could think was "here we go again" and wondered who had been drugging his coffee this time.

My source paused to grin wickedly and then continued,

I informed him that we did NOT have that kind of "control" yet and asked what it was about. Well, he whimpered a little and stuttered something that sounded like . . . IT'S THEM . . . and then Michael intervened and sent the screen to my monitor. Well, once I saw what was happening, I knew that I had to be very careful, very careful indeed. One wrong decision on my part and I would be suffering "Sugar" deprivation for a long time.

Q: So, what did you do?

A: Well, I told Operations I would get to work on developing a weapon that would exterminate the problem and he seemed satisfied. After he clicked off, I tried to call Sugar but couldn't reach her, so I started dummying up some report detailing my problems with creating a weapon that would conquer the "fur density" issue and waited for Nikita to come in. That's when I invented this.

He patted the "Tribble Trap" and grinned.

This reporter quirked an inquiring eyebrow.

Ever seen how one of these works?

I shook my head "No."

He smiled widely, always willing to show off one of his "toys."

Well, I lined it with faux fur so the little devils wouldn't hurt themselves, baited it with an Oreo and installed an electric eye to close the door. They sniffed out the Oreo, scampered in and the door closed behind them. They were caught but unharmed.

He paused to wink,

Sugar liked that.

Of course I knew they would work. Not long after I put the first one out, I heard a yelp and found Birkoff with his hand caught in one.

A covert reporter has managed to provide us with details regarding the aftermath of the invasion from the highest levels.

Due to the need to conceal the reporter's identity, the participants of the following eavesdropped conversation will be referred to as #1 and #2:

#1: I still think you overreacted, pass the butter.

#2: You weren't the one under threat.

#1: Threat? (Smirks) There is no proof that they were here for malicious reasons. I believe you have a paranoid irrational fear of our visitors. Perhaps it would be best if you were to start seeing me on a weekly basis so that we can work through this problem.

#2: I do not have an irrational fear of them! It's a perfectly rational fear. They have zeroed in on me for their terror tactics. May I have the salt?

#1: (Laughs.) Next you will be telling me that they were engaged in terrorist activities while they were visiting.

#2 Visiting? Visiting?! They were engaged in high-level sabotage.

#1 Have you any evidence of that?

#2 Not yet, but I have Birkoff working on it.

#1 That is a complete waste of valuable resources. Surely if there had been any sabotage, you would have found evidence of it by now. The whole incident should just be forgotten, other than the fact that there was entirely too much externalization of emotion in response.

#2 They chewed holes in my socks and ties!!!

#1 What are you talking about?

#2 Never mind.!

Sullen, guilt-ridden Class 5 Operative seeking bright, forgiving, loving Class 2 Operative to share a life of danger and intrigue.

Must be willing to stand up for yourself and enter into the relationship knowing that, because of the job, I will deceive you at times.

Only applicants named Nikita need apply.

------------------------------

Young computer wizard seeks older women to show him the ways of the world.

Must be able to blend in with a crowd and be protective.

Must have an understanding and appreciation of the finer junk foods, (Oreos a big plus)

Only those named Nikita need apply.

------------------------------

Hip dude seeks a righteous old lady.

Swing, Swing, Swing, Sugar I will teach you new things.

Must be open-minded and willing to experiment.

Must understand and appreciate a really big BANG!

Come to your sugar daddy.

Only those named Nikita need apply.

-----------------------------

Older, mature man seeking a woman of caliber and grace.

Must be able to out-think the eviliest villians, outbluff the master of mayhem, cold enough to freeze hell and have a smile that would melt butter.

Must have the ability to manipulate and torment with a flick of the wrist and a stable of willing disciples to help with the tougher nuts to crack.

Must be able to flatline her own heart on command.

Only those named Mistress Madeline need apply.

-------------------------------

Woman experienced in the ways of seduction and manipulation seeks numerous young studs to apply knowledge upon.

Must be willing to be subservient and cater to my every whim while not falling prey to externalization of emotions and becoming clingy and whiny.

Apply NOW!

-------------------------------

Innocent young woman with a pure heart seeks kindred soul.

Although your armor might be tarnished, your soul still shines with the truth.

Come be with me before it is too late.

Share a future of hopes and dreams.

A future of two souls joined against the harsh reality of the pre-designed existance of Section One.

Shape your own future while letting go of your past.

Only those named Michael need apply.

------------------------------

This reporter glanced toward the hissing sound and saw a frantically waving ... Tech Op motioning. As I approached I saw that the ... Tech Op was watching what appeared to be a survelliance video taken during the "attack".

"I found out why they were here. Watch this."

At this statement the ... Tech Op rewound the videotape and started it again. There in the hallways of Section One crept two Tribbles, silently, no scampering, one pure black, stealthy and precise, no wasted motion, the other blonde, almost white, following the black one, seeming to move in tandem while protecting the other Tribble's back.

"See, here they come. They found a back conduit outlet to the mainframe. Watch this, it's pure magic." The ... Tech Op crows, obviously enthralled with the tape.

This reporter dutifully watched as the first Tribble, the "Stealth Tribble," wiggled partially into a conduit while the other Tribble, the "Blonde Tribble," moved back and forth in a scanning motion, checking the hallway. Suddenly there was a loud pop and sizzle and the Stealth Tribble popped out of the conduit.

"What happened?"

"Oh, this is beautiful! Here let me pull up the sametime computer run." Fingers fly and a split screen appears on the monitor, showing a time/date readout that matches the survelliance footage.

"See this? This is when the "Stealth" Tribble accessed the mainframe, located the protected files of the smart chip bios upgrades, decrypted it, plugged in and ran the upgrade. Watch this, he appears to be disoriented."

And, indeed, it did look like the Stealth Tribble was jolted. Instead of the smooth glide he had earlier, he staggered around for a few moments. A small sound was heard, then the Blonde Tribble rubbed up against the Stealth Tribble and the screen went black.

"What was that noise?"

"Noise?"

"Yeah, just before the Blonde Tribble moved over."

"Hmm, I don't know, let me play it back and amplify."

While the tape was rewinding, this reporter asked why the screen went blank.

"Umm..." the ... Tech Op appeared discomforted and looked around, "The Stealth Tribble disabled the camera."

"What? How?"

The ... Tech Op bristles defensively, "I don't know! Maybe he was carrying a Glock in all that fur!"

The tape had finished rewinding and we both moved closer to the screen, intent on catching the sound.

Once again, the Stealth Tribble staggered around and then one word filtered out of the speakers, one small word, simple in its meaning but full of vast implications.

"Chere."