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"Expectant"



"Nikita, are you in position?" Michael's voice came crisply through the comm unit.

"In position" she answered. She was laying on her stomach and sighting through the scope of her assault rifle at an alley below her.

"Theresa, are you on your mark?" Nikita heard Michael check the position of the other operative. Several seconds passed without a reply. "Theresa, respond." Still no response.

"Nikita, can you get a visual on Theresa's position?"

"Wait." Nikita changed the position of the scope. She scanned the area where Terri was suppose to be waiting. Her job was to flush the target. At first she couldn't see anything then she spied a body on the ground.

"Michael, Terri's down but I don't see any activity around her."

There was silence then and an abrupt "Abort and fall back to the van."

"Michael, what about Terri?"

"The van, Nikita. I'll check Theresa's position."

"I'm falling back to the van." Nikita gathered her gear and left the roof. She'd have to wait till she got to the van to see what had happened to the other female operative.

Michael slinked stealthily through the darkness with his gun at the ready. It was an unknown situation. He had an operative down and he didn't know why or her condition. He reached her position. She was laying on her back. He couldn't see any blood. His eyes darting to check every shadow, he squatted and placed two fingers at the pulse point on her neck. Her heart beat was strong and steady. There was no visible injury. Still regarding the shadows he slapped her face.

Terri's eyes began to flutter and then opened. Temporarily disoriented and seeing a dark form looming over her, she started to scream. Michael's hand closed over her mouth before any sound came out. "It's Michael. The mission is aborted, back to the van." He stood and started to leave.

Terri whispered after him "I'm sorry, I think I fainted, I.."

Michael turned back to her. "Not now." He then strode away without asking if she needed help.

Terri felt a wave of apprehension wash through her that temporarily rivaled her nausea. She stood and silently followed.

Once they both entered the van, Michael nodded to the driver to leave after quickly checking to make sure that Nikita was already present. Once the van was underway, Terri again tried to explain to Michael. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I fainted."

He cut her off with a look. "If you were ill, you should have informed me. You could have been replaced."

"I thought I would be fine."

"When we get back, go directly to Medlab."

"That's not necessary. I'm fine now, really."

Michael's stern look informed her that the subject wasn't open for discussion.

Ops was waiting for Michael and his team as they disembarked. He did not look pleased. Michael waited with Ops while the rest of his team trudged past with their heads down, avoiding Ops' gaze. Nikita did look back at him briefly, giving him a commiserating glance before heading after Terri.

"What happened"

"One of the team became ill and was out of position. The secondary plan has already been activated" Michael responded calmly.

Ops continued standing there for a few seconds then walked away without a word. Michael watched him go but his mind was already on other matters.

***************************

Nikita headed for the women's shower to clean up and change her clothes before heading home. She found Terri there, bending over the toilet. It was obvious that the operative had been vomiting. "You're really sick. Come on, I go with you to Medlab."

"I'm not going to Medlab. I'm not sick." Terri had moved over to the sink and was splashing cold water on her face.

"You fainted and you're throwing up. You've probably got a virus or something. You need to get checked out."

Terri turned on Nikita. "For the last time, I'm not sick. I'm pregnant!"

Stunned silence followed.

"God, I can't believe I just said that" Theresa gasped.

"You're pregnant!" Nikita sounded shocked.

"Please, please don't tell anyone. You know what Section would do if they found out" Terri pleaded.

Nikita left unsaid that with time Section would find out anyway. Luckily the women's shower room wasn't monitored or they would already know. She was certain that Terri knew it as well.

"What about the father?" Nikita asked. Was he another operative? Was he in a position to help?

Terri looked tearful. "Dead. He was on that mission in South Africa that didn't return. I never even got a chance to tell him. Scott and I really loved each other." She blinked back tears and gave a sad laugh. "Who would have thought it was even possible to find someone to love and who would love you back in Section One."

*Yeah, who would have thought* Nikita considered her own situation.

"It started as just convenient sex" Terri continued "but then, I don't know, something clicked. One day we were just here, then we were here for each other and then we were daydreaming about what it would be like to have a normal life together...you know...on the outside." Terri's face then contorted in anger as she tossed the paper towel she had been drying her face with in the trash. "Damn, Section. They turn something wonderful and normal like love and having children into a crime while they call murder and betrayal noble. I can't live this way anymore."

"Terri.."

"No, don't say it. I know there's suppose to be no escape from Section but I want this baby, Nikita." Her longing was plain to hear in her voice. "I want to be able to raise Scott's and my child. I don't know how but I've got to find a way out. I've got to."

"I really want to help you Terri, but I'm not sure what I can do" Nikita said gently. "I could ask Michael.."

"NO! Don't say anything to Michael. He won't give me the type of help I need."

"You're wrong. Michael wouldn't turn you in and he has the resources to help."

"Are you blind or what? I've known him a lot longer and know him a lot better than you. When I was first brought into Section, I was his material for a while. You didn't know that did you? Trust me when I say this, Michael is even more Section than Ops. He's not going to break the rules. And let's just suppose he was willing to try to help. What could he do? He wasn't able to save his own son, what makes you think he could save me and my child? No, it's up to me. I'll find a way to be free."

Nikita had no response. An uneasy silence was all that followed.

************

It was after midnight and Section was deserted except for a small night staff. Nikita wandered aimlessly through the empty halls. She was concerned for Terri and wanted to help. The only help would be to get her out. She didn't know how to do that, not without one or both of them getting caught. She had never really thought about having children before. While she was on the streets, she was young and becoming a mother was the last thing on her mind. She just assumed that someday she would be off the streets, have children and be the kind of mother she had always wanted. Then she was in prison. A nightmare and she had other concerns. Next was Section. It had never really hit her that she would never have a child of her own until Terri's situation had forced her to confront that reality. It made her feel odd, rather empty.

Nikita's aimless wanderings eventually took her, as it so often did, to Michael's office. In spite of the late hour, he was still present. She could see him typing at his desk through the partially opened blinds. Without knocking she entered.

Michael looked up as his door opened and Nikita entered. He then returned to his task.

Nikita trailed her finger along the wall and causally walked over to the chair. Turning it backward, she straddled it and lay her chin on top. She looked at Michael for a long time before speaking. "Michael, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes" he responded, still typing, not yet looking at her where she had settled.

"Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you hadn't been brought to Section."

Still not looking up from his typing, Michael responded "I know what it would be like. The same as yours would have been, a slow death in prison."

"That's not what I mean. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a normal life, fall in love, get married, have children?" Nikita asked wistfully. When Michael quit typing and looked up at her silently with some indefinable pain in his eyes, she realized her insensitivity. "Michael, I'm sorry. I was thoughtless."

Michael went back to his typing but Nikita could almost see him draw in on himself as he responded "It doesn't matter."

"Do you want to talk about it, about Simone and your son?"

"No" he said abruptly, cutting off any further conversation. "I'm busy and it's late."

Knowing a dismissal when she heard one and realizing it was her own fault, Nikita stood to leave.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Michael said quietly. They had been working on establishing somekind of connection, to get past the past, and he didn't want her to think he was angry with her.

"Yeah, sure" Nikita smiled as she left accepting the words as if they were a peace offering.

After she left him, Michael stopped typing and stared at the door. His mind protectively shied away from the subject of which Nikita had spoken. Instead, he wondered what had prompted her questions. Making mental connections, he stood and went to the Operative Surveillance archives. He wanted to review some tapes in hopes of confirming his suspicions. His long night had just become longer.

************************************************

It was almost one a.m. by the time Nikita arrived at her apartment. She was startled to see a body huddled in the floor by her door. Short dark hair spilled over the arm resting on a pair of knees. "Terri?"

The body looked up. The red eyes and slightly splotchy complexion gave testimony that tears had been shed in the recent past.

"What are you doing here?" Nikita asked, reaching for her to help her stand.

"Could we go in? I don't want to stand out here in the hall and I really need to go to the bathroom" Terri answered without giving an explanation for her presence.

"Sure" Nikita said as she opened her door. She was curious about Terri's visit but was almost afraid to find out the reason for it.

While Terri was in the bathroom, Nikita put some water on to boil for tea. Terri had to have come because of something to do with her pregnancy. Maybe she had changed her mind about asking Michael for help. After thinking about it, however, Nikita decided that it was probably better not to involve him. She really couldn't be sure of what he might do. Sometimes she was certain that she had connected with him and really knew him, the real Michael, but other times she felt she didn't know him at all. The truth was, she couldn't predict what he might do. Maybe Terri did know him better. The water came to a boil and Terri still hadn't exited the bathroom. Nikita set the teabags in to seep, choosing a caffeine free kind in consideration of the late hour. Finally, Terri returned.

"Sorry to show up on your doorstep unannounced. Since you're the only one that knows my secret, you're the only one that I can talk to. Plus, the rumor is that you don't always toe the Section line. I think I can trust you, I hope I can."

"Of course you can trust me" Nikita said as she tried to hand Terri the tea.

Terri shook her head "No thanks but I'd love some dry, salted crackers if you have some. It's about the only thing that helps calm my stomach. I read that the worst of the nausea should be over in a few weeks. If I survive that is. Let me tell you, there've been times when I've been puking my guts out that I thought getting canceled might be preferable." Terri laughed but the laughter quickly turned into sobs.

Nikita rushed over and put her arms around Terri, allowing the pregnant operative to cry on her shoulder. Terri did for several minutes before pulling away and wiping at her eyes with the bottom of her shirt. "I'm really sorry about that, I just seem so emotional lately."

"It's all right, don't worry about it. I'll see if I can't find you those crackers now." Nikita moved away and started rummaging in the cabinets below her center isle.

"I might as well get it over with, Nikita. You offered to help me. Did you mean it?" Theresa asked, still dabbing at her eyes.

This was the moment of truth. Time to put up or shut up. "Yes, I meant it." Nikita responded, relieved to discover that she actually did. That Section hadn't taken her compassion. "What do you want me to do?"

"Pee in a cup" Terri said with a smile.

Nikita's eyebrows shot up in startlement and confusion.

************

Michael found just enough circumstantial evidence to feel that his suspicion was justified. By the time he found his bed, he had only a few hours left before his day was to start. Still, he couldn't find sleep. What should he do? Actually, he knew what he should do, what Section would want him to do. However, that was not what he wanted to do. There was also the question of whether Nikita would be implicated if he took no action. A reviving conscience, thanks to Nikita's influence, warred with practicality. There was also his own experiences to take into account. He got no sleep at all that night but by the time he rose from his bed, he had made a decision.

******************************************************

Terri settled comfortably on Nikita's couch, slowly chewing a cracker, and began to explain. "Michael won't let me go back out with his team unless I go to Medlab and get a clean bill of health. Medlab will run a routine urinalysis, to check for drugs and such. One of the standard tests for female operatives is a pregnancy test. Obviously, if I give them a specimen, I'll be found out. That's were you come in, a little switch and I'm in the clear."

"Just switch your specimen for mine. That's all you want?"

"That's it. I'll get a clean bill of health and go on the mission."

"OK" Nikita said thoughtfully "I understand the pee part but why are you so determined to go on the mission?"

Terri seemed indecisive but then gathered her courage. "I'm gonna run. While everyone else is getting the target, I'll be breaking away. Everyone will be too involved to immediately come after me. That will give me a chance at a head start. I'm going to raise my baby on the outside Nikita. This is do or die."

"Well, then I guess we had better do."

*********************************************

Even though the Medlab docs had experience dealing with conniving and dishonest individuals, it was absurdly easy to make the switch. They didn't expect operatives to work in tandem. Nikita visited early in the morning to get an aspirin and palmed a specimen vial. When Terri went to see the doctors, Nikita went with her. They told the docs that Nikita was to report back to Michael that Terri had gone and gotten a clean bill of health. At the right time Terri caused a distraction and Nikita switched the samples. Quick and clean.

"You wanted to see me" Terri inquired, stepping cautiously into Michael's office. The summons had come barely an hour after her visit to Medlab. Michael stood as she entered, buttoning his coat.

"You were instructed to go directly to Medlab after our return last night."

Terri shrugged "It was late, I didn't want to bother the doctors. I went this morning instead."

"I was informed. I've seen the report."

Theresa seemed less sure of herself. "They said I was fine, right. No problems."

"The doctors apparently found no cause for concern."

"Then I'm still on your team?"

Michael paused before responding. His eyes swept over her and settled briefly on her stomach. "No."

*He knows! Somehow he knows!* Terri thought in sudden fear. "Michael, you've got to let me go" she said urgently.

"Why?"

"I screwed up yesterday. I've got to make it right. Section is unforgiving and I don't want a black mark against my name." She moved closer to him. "Let me go out with your team."

Michael seemed to consider her argument. "We have egress at twenty-one hundred hours."

"Thank you. There won't be a repeat of last night."

Michael terminated the interview by unbuttoning his jacket and sitting back at his desk. Theresa turned and left the office. Her heart was beating a fast tattoo and she felt like she had to throw up. Still, she was on the mission. She was going to get her chance.

Michael sat back down and re-read the medical report. The doctors made note of the fact that Nikita had accompanied Theresa to the evaluation as per his orders. He wondered how deeply involved Nikita was and how difficult it would be to protect her this time. Typing in an access code, he modified the entry by deleting any reference to her and then made sure that the modification to the records couldn't be detected. Sitting back in his chair and absently rubbing his lower lip, he reviewed the upcoming mission.

Morning in Section dragged on into early afternoon. Nikita saw Terri only once more, from across the commuter bay. The dark haired operative gave Nikita a thumbs up sign but didn't come over to talk. Nikita eventually found herself leaning against Walter's work station, watching him fix the scope on a sniper's rifle. They had bantered back and forth as a way to fill the time but now had grown silent.

"Walter" Nikita asked suddenly "do you have any children?"

Walter covertly looked all around before leaning closer to her. "Yeah, a daughter. I never met her though. Her mother took off one day and I never heard from her again. Just a card telling me of my impending fatherhood." Walter scrutinized Nikita's face and hair. "You know, I never noticed it before but those blue eyes and blond hair, the good looks. Yes, yes! Come on Sugar, give your old man a big kiss." He smiled and puckered up.

"You're full of crap, Walter" Nikita laughed, toss a long lock of hair over her shoulder.

"Well, it could of worked" Walter smiled mischievously. More seriously he added "What brought that up?"

"Armel" Nikita said vaguely. "He was a horrible man but a really good father. He really loved his son."

"Oh, were you thinking about Armel or playing house in the suburbs with Michael? Husband, wife, normal life. Listen Sugar, you shouldn't set your heart on things that you're never gonna have" Walter said looking back down at the scope.

"Do you mean a normal life or Michael?"

Walter looked back up at her, cocked his head and went back to the scope.

**************

Nikita, dressed conservatively in a long skirt, sweater and glasses, walked up to the black limousine and rapped frantically on the opaque window. After a few seconds it quietly came down and a rough looking man in a chauffeur's uniform stared at her.

"Could you help me please? My car stopped a block or so back and I can't get it started again. I think it might be the engine-thingy. I'm afraid I don't know anything about cars and I'm even more afraid of being alone in this neighborhood."

The chauffeur looked at her with a frown. "Go away" he said as the window began to move back up. Nikita managed to stick her small purse into the window to keep it from closing. With a curse, the window came back down. "I said" was all the man got out before the heel of Nikita's palm hit him between the eyes, knocking him out cold. "Next time be more polite to a lady in distress" she muttered under her breath. Quickly, two men were at her side. One pulled the unconscious driver from the seat while the other, appropriately dressed, took his place behind the wheel.

Nikita, the other operative and the unconscious driver disappeared into a large black van that quickly pulled up beside them. Once inside Nikita noticed that someone was missing. "Where's Michael" she asked the driver.

"He said he was monitoring Terri, given what happened last time. He took Stewart with him. He specifically said you were to wait in the van." The driver looked at Nikita's face and whatever he saw there caused him to add "Please stay in the van, Nikita. I screwed up big time a few months ago and I don't want Michael angry with me." Nikita looked indecisive but then sat. The driver exhaled an audible sigh of relief. Michael had said that appealing to her like that would work. He thought to himself that it was a very good thing for him that it had.

Theresa was in an empty upper room of an old abandoned building across the street from the limo. She had set up the sniper riffle, on a small tripod for stabilization, at the window but she had no intention of hanging around to use it. She was busy changing into dark civilian clothing and out of her mission gear when she heard the soft command to take out the bodyguards through her head set. She continued shrugging into her clothes when she replied "Michael, something's wrong with the rifle. It's jammed."

In the street below, the occupants of the van watched as the target exited the building. He was flanked by two bodyguards. He was a few feet from the limo's door when his guards fell to the ground without a sound, red flowers of blood blossoming on their chests. The target panicked and jumped into the waiting limo. It sped away only to stop less than a block away and then back up to it's original position. The driver emerged with an oxygen mask over his face. He left the door open, apparently to air out the interior, and went to the back where he opened the trunk. He threw the bodies in, shut the trunk and gave a thumbs up to the van. He was just driving away with the sleeping target in the back when Stewart entered the van with a sniper riffle. He didn't sit but stood in the door way blocking anyone from exiting.

Consumed with her preparations, Terri didn't see the bodyguards go down. She grabbed a backpack that she had secreted in the room earlier that day and headed for the door. As she approached, Michael stepped into the doorway and she practically collided with him. She was momentarily frozen with fright but quickly leveled her automatic at him. Just as quickly he disarmed her. He had her arm pinned behind her back and she was pushed up against a wall.

"No, no, no, no" she cried. "Please Michael let me go. I'm nothing. Section doesn't need me."

He released her and took a few steps back. "How far along are you, Theresa?" he asked in a level voice.

Terri turned to him, her face white and her hands trembling. She wasn't sure how she found the strength to answer him truthfully. "Eight, almost nine weeks."

"Is it Scott's?"

She nodded and asked "You knew?"

"I knew of your attachment but since it didn't effect your efficiency and you didn't work on the same teams, I chose ignored it. I see now that was a mistake."

Terri suddenly became angry. "Loving someone is not a mistake! Having this child is not a mistake! I want to raise our child myself. Let me go!"

"Section would allow you to have the child" he countered.

"Sure they would but they would never let me raise it. Our baby would never know that his mother loved him or that his father had brown eyes. It would be the ultimate threat to hang over my head and keep me in line. I don't want to live that way" she said just short of shouting. Her anger burned out, she continued softly "I won't live that way. Michael, I won't go back to Section so that they can take my baby. I'd rather be dead."

"Are you certain? If you die now, your child will die with you" he calmly stated.

"At least we'd still be together. Scott, me, the baby, all of us together in the only way we ever could be" she said sadly. Terri waited in silence while Michael studied her. He was unmoving. Finally she had to break the silence "Well, what now? Is it over?"

Michael reached inside his jacket. Terri began a silent prayer preparing herself for death. Michael took out an envelope and handed it to her. She took it and looked up at him in confusion.

"Inside the envelope is money and a phone number. Once you are away from here, use the number. Tell them that Michel told you to call. When they pick you up, give them half of the money. They will provide you with appropriate ID and help you relocate." He walked up very close to her and looked intently into her eyes. "No one is to ever know. You will have no contact with any Section personnel. You will disappear and be ordinary, obscure. Is that understood?"

Terri nodded, still confused. "Section?"

"They will think that you are dead. Canceled when you tried to elope."

Terri was suddenly filled with hope. "Why?"

"Does it matter?" Michael's eyes and voice were carefully neutral.

Terri felt sudden compassion for the cold op. "No, no, I guess it doesn't. Thank you, Michael. Thank you."

"Go."

Terri picked up her backpack and rushed out.

Michael did not watch her go. He gathered her mission gear. Taking out a small vial of blood, he poured it carefully down one side of her vest. He picked up the gear, took the guns and set a small timed charge. Then he left.

The door to the van suddenly opened. Michael stepped in carrying Terri's equipment. A small wet area glistened on the vest. He settled himself and nodded for the driver to go. The ride back to Section was accomplished in total silence. Nikita never took her eyes off of Michael. The look she gave him was hard and unforgiving.

Michael went immediately to Operations' office after first checking to assure that the target had arrived safely. Operations' was waiting for him.

"There was a problem?" Ops asked, already knowing the answer.

"Theresa attempted to elope during the mission."

"Did you try to bring her back alive?"

"Of course" Michael said smoothly. "She didn't co-operate."

"I wonder what set her off" Ops mused.

Michael held himself perfectly still.

"It doesn't matter. Well done."

"I did what I had to do" Michael responded.

With a slight smile Ops remembered that Nikita was on the mission. She had once had unrealistic ideas about leaving Section. This was probably a good lesson for her on some hard realities. "How did Nikita take it?"

Michael hesitated a second before answering truthfully. "Not well."

Nikita debriefed as quickly as possible and left Section as soon as she could. She had to get away. Just being there was making her feel soiled. How could she have been so wrong about Michael. When would she get it through her head that he was ruthless and heartless. Anger at Michael and sadness for poor Terri, who only wanted to have her child and raise it herself, were her predominant emotions. By the time she arrived at her apartment, tears were running quietly down her face. She had experienced many horrible times and periods of painful disillusionment while in Section but this was one of the worse.

She opened the door to her apartment and turned on the light. She almost missed the folded piece of plain white paper that was laying in the floor. From its position, it looked as if it had been slipped under her door. She picked it up and unfold it. There were four words written on the paper in simple block letters. It was unsigned. Still, those four words completely turned her mood around. She found herself smiling when a few minutes ago she was sure that she might never smile again. The message was simple. It read:

YOU KNEW HIM BETTER.



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