The dress looked like it was simple, but when it was placed over Nikita's cream silk skin, it became a clock to an angel. The color was the color that Michael had wished that their daughter's eyes would have been, the vivid blue that shined deep in Nikita's eyes.

The cut was simple, but Nikita's body made the dress. It hung perfectly and glittered softly as she turned slightly. Her blonde hair was a perfect contrast to the dress and Michael was finding it hard that two months ago, Nikita had given birth to their child.

"No I'm not..." Nikita stated with a smile that lit up the room, but also showed that she was insecure. There was no reason for that at all and Michael looked around the room. He saw no mirror and he reached for Nikita's hand.

"You must see yourself..." Michael whispered as he tugged lightly at Nikita's hand. She shook her head back and forth as she leaned her head to the side. She giggled softly.

"Michael... you are looking at me like I've never worn a dress before," Nikita stated out in a warning tone. Michael dropped Nikita's hand and moved closer to her.

"I reach out and touch you... and I feel like I am touching a dream image... But instead... I touch the amazing body... of the woman who gave life to my wonderful child two months ago... Amazing isn't a worthy enough word to describe you," Michael declared from his heart as he stroked Nikita's cheeks. He knew that his words hit her heart, as he wanted them too. She gasped with the beauty but the simple nature of his words.

"Michael..." Nikita drawled out, warning him in some way that he was threatening to shatter the image that she had of herself. Michael drew his hands down from her cheeks to her shoulders. The silk dress just seemed to emerge from Nikita's skin and body.

"No...you are... tremendous.... amazing... I think you are my angel..." Michael whispered as he tugged Nikita's hand softly out into the hallway. Michael had so many plans for Nikita on this night, but she needed to view herself.

"Can I revere you forever for the miraculous things you have done for me and our child?" Michael questioned as he turned the corner and stood in front of the mirror. Michael slowly turned Nikita to view herself.

The dress sparkled into Nikita's eyes and she did not believe what she saw. Nikita bit back the tears, knowing that she would ruin her makeup that she had carefully placed on. Michael watched the enchanting Nikita lift a muscular but smooth are lift to touch the mirror, to see that the image did not fade away, that it was Nikita.

"I've been only wearing sweats... and t-shirts..." Nikita admitted as she turned slightly and looked at Michael. Michael took her hands and kissed each one. Nikita looked at the hands and felt the twin kisses coursing energy throughout her body. The tingling was something that Nikita was sure that she never felt before, but it sure felt good.

"So you didn't know... how you look like God sculpted you personally... touching you with a goodness inside that radiates to the outside..." Michael whispered as he stroked Nikita's cheeks. He knew that his words were about to take Nikita into tears and he held her cheeks softly to make sure that she didn't cry.

"I was even wearing padding in my clothes... because Linda was commenting... But I didn't know I looked like this..." Nikita stated and Michael kissed Nikita's cheek softly. Nikita tilted her head, allowing the touch of Michael's lips stay there for sometime. How she missed the feeling of Michael with her.

"Nikita... I cannot thank you enough... for everything..." Michael stated as he started to walk with Nikita. Michael needed to get his gun and there were some details that needed to be straightened out. Nikita linked arms with Michael, finding peace in just being next to his side.

Yes, she couldn't bond with Maralah in the way that she had before, but that thought vanished at least for the moment under Michael's careful guidance and assistance. This moment was more about Nikita, knowing that she didn't change, even with the birth of a child. Michael's love hadn't changed, and if anything, had only grown in intensity.

The eyes of Section One were on Michael and Nikita as they walked down the hallway. This was an image of strength that was never seen in quite this way. There was no guns slung onto their shoulders and neither one was battered or bruised. Nikita hadn't been saved from cancellation and Nikita didn't stop Michael from losing his humanity. This was a strength that was seen from the bond that was between the two, even after so much time separating the periods that they were allowed to be within each other's touch.

Michael looked to Walter and smiled. Michael moves smoothly to secure the gun, not wanting to know about that detail of the mission. It was only just in case, but it was vital. There were too many missions that the just in case was really the only thing that was positive would happen.

"I need your hand... Nicole..." Michael whispered, trying to slip into the roles that they had to be play. The change was in Nikita's name, not knowing if there would be associates that dealt with Ryce Borjas in any form. It was a small chance, but it was one that neither Madeline, Operations, nor Michael was willing to take. Nikita was not formally told of this change, but Michael was sure that Nikita realized why it had been done.

"It's a beautiful ring..." Michael stated as he lifted the hand and looked to the wedding ring that was on her finger to make the union between her and Birkoff seem real as it could be. Michael slowly kissed the palm of her hand as he slid the ring off.

"Nothing fake between us, Nikita..." Michael stated, making it clear to Nikita that he was not acting on orders and all of this was from his heart. He turned as Walter held out the little box. Michael transferred rings and looked to Nikita.

"Michael..." Nikita choked out and Michael pressed one finger to Nikita's lips. She silences as Michael positioned the ring in front of his lips to kiss it. Michael smiled as he took Nikita's hand and then kissed the finger where the ring was going to lay.

"When you are here with me... and when your mission with Birkoff is done... This is your ring..." Michael declared as he skimmed the ring down Nikita's finger, finding the perfect fit there, as he knew it would be.

Nikita could not speak and only wanted to kiss Michael. It was an inappropriate time and place, Operations was already glaring down at the operatives that he knew were running late. Walter walked out and stood up, staring at Operations.

"Go ahead, sugar.... Kiss him..." Walter growled out, as he placed his hands on his lips. This was something more than Operations. That ring, although not blessed by a priest or any other powerful governing body, should have just been a wedding ring. Michael's and Nikita's hearts belonged to each other a long time ago. It was about time that some sort of symbol was placed on Nikita to make it official.

It was like everyone inside of Section stopped as Michael took Nikita's hands and kissed them before leaning in closer to Nikita. Their lips and there was a sigh heard around Section One. For if Michael and Nikita could love each other as they were right now, then there was hope inside of Section One. And hope had been missing for a long time.

~~

Nikita almost forgot that this was a mission. The room was filled with hundreds of people, and not once did Michael break from her side as the profile said that he had too. Instead, Michael stood next to Nikita, holding her waist softly. He led her where they needed to be and the frustration was transferred over the communications units.

"Michael... you can't go to the bathroom with me..." Nikita giggled out and Michael leaned up closer to Nikita, placing a hand around the hand that held the champagne glass. He held onto it as his lips ran firmly across Nikita's, taking a lot of latitude with Nikita's good movement.

"Try me..." Michael teased as he raised his eyebrows. Only Nikita knew that this was morn than a tease, this was a promise. Nikita's heart fluttered inside of her, knowing that Michael even had contingency plans if Nikita had the call of nature.

"But I'd rather dance..." Michael stated as he twirled the glass out of Nikita's hands and onto an empty tray. He turned and nudged his head closer to her neck, loving the chances that he was getting now to breath her scent in and knowing how she felt leaning against him.

They were supposed to seek out the target, but somehow the tables had changed. Michael moved Nikita into the center of the dance floor. Soon, the situation was changed and the target was seeking out the couple.

"May I cut in?" Noris Ilius questioned as he tapped Michael's shoulder. Michael turned his head and then turned back to Nikita. Michael swept Nikita away from the man and kissed her nose softly.

The operatives that were listening and observing were cursing at this point. Nikita to a certain extent was confused and bewildered. However, Michael always had a reason for doing something. Thus, Nikita did not react and continued on with Michael's unspoken plan.

"Dear... may I cut in?" Laurenne Ilius tried some time later. Nikita looked to Michael and giggled lightly. Nikita shook her head back and forth, following the example of Michael. Soon, Michael and Nikita had danced towards a corner and the formation of the plan in Michael's mind was making a firm image in Nikita's mind now.

The couple approached Michael and Nikita together. With them approaching Michael and Nikita as such, the mission profile of who Michael and Nikita were able to be altered enough to make the night enjoyable for Michael and Nikita.

The first plan was for Michael and Nikita to be displayed as some sort of sex toys, which was something that the Ilius couple loved to do. But they were also voyeuristic, and it was that part that now Michael and Nikita controlled. Instead of making Noris feel for Nikita and Laurenne feel for Michael, Michael and Nikita became the devoted couple that had to look hot in bed.

And it wasn't a performance that Noris and Laurenne would see that night. It was passion of love that Michael had for Nikita, the mother of his child. It was the hunger that Nikita had for Michael, the man that she never wanted to leave again. Together, they knew that if this was anywhere else and if this was not for Section One, a new life could have been created again.

But it wasn't.

But the new bond between their loved grew and Michael strengthened the one thing inside of Nikita that was going right.

His love.

*

Nikita turned from the calendar and picked up the can. She sipped it lightly and stared off towards the wall. She had circled yet another day. It was thirty-three days since she left that mission with Michael, from the last time that she saw him and touched him. She had been in for some very short missions, but never with Michael and never seeing him.

Birkoff, although Ryce had slowed down with the partying and the ladies, was never home. He was always working on something, either for Ryce or to make up the work that he should have been doing. Linda had stopped dropping by, in retaliation for Birkoff's poor work. For some reason, Birkoff's work had now been blamed on Nikita.

The days were waking up to tend to Maralah. Be with Maralah. Stay with Maralah. Sleep with Maralah. Feed Maralah with a bottle. It was the same thing over and over again, and although Nikita found the repetition was getting to her, she would not speak to it. Something else was troubling Nikita, withdrawing her from Birkoff and Maralah.

Nikita sipped at the can and leaned her head back. She was so tired that she couldn't even put to words how she felt. The problem was that she often felt that it wouldn't matter what she tried to express and that Birkoff would only ignore it. He seemed to pay no attention to Nikita unless she was in tears. Instead now, for a week Nikita sat in the same chair, rocking back and forth, not even paying attention to anything than the wall. She was only responding to Maralah's cries. She was not spending extra time with her daughter either, which it appeared Birkoff did not notice.

Michael had cherished her while he held her in that mission. That mission bed was not about the mission. It could have been their wedding night and they were consummating marriage. The love was powerful and in control of their bodies. The words of the operatives didn't matter as they chattered in the communication units. The mission called for breaks, but that did not happen between Michael and Nikita as they were starving to have their bodies connected to each other and to just stay in that union for as long as they could.

The dreams of the past thirty-some days were difficult to navigate through. The theme was the same; the family that Nikita wished was together right now. The images were so clear and so real that sometimes Nikita woke up in the chair; sure that Michael was in the kitchen with Maralah, making her breakfast.

Waking was the worst thing that Nikita did every day. Sometimes she wished her dreams could go on and on, as they were good and filled with peace. In most of them, she was even happy.

Now, Nikita didn't expect anything like that from Birkoff, but she expected something. If he was pretending to be her husband, he was failing and badly. For Birkoff to come home early one night and spend sometime with her and Maralah would be an improvement.

With that thought, Nikita looked to the clock and swallowed. It was pushing ten; the sky was pitch black outside. Nikita trembled as she stared at the can and took one more long sip. Nothing seemed to ease the insides of Nikita, even though the rest of her body seemed to be frozen in time.

Birkoff knew that something was wrong. Walter had told him about how Madeline gave Nikita the drug. He had figured out that the first few days that Nikita was home with Maralah would be the roughest. Birkoff had gone out and bought the formula and the new bottles. Nikita had worked like a machine, never discussing with Birkoff why she was no longer feeding Maralah with her own breast milk.

The house was almost pitch black as Birkoff entered, but he knew that Nikita was up. She was always up. He didn't know when she slept. For days now she sat downstairs, only coming upstairs when Maralah cried out to be fed or changed. It was so easy for Birkoff to stay at work to complete the work that needed to be done. Nikita barely spoke and if she did, it was about Maralah.

This time, as Birkoff opened p the door, he heard Maralah crying softly, as if she just started. Birkoff turned to the side and saw Nikita staring at the wall that she had some sort of connection with. Now, this was something that scared Birkoff. Nikita was no responding to Maralah, which was something that she never did. Often during the night, it would take sometime for Maralah's crying to wake up Birkoff. He would try to get to the room before Nikita, hoping to help out, but always, Nikita was there and holding Maralah by the time Birkoff stumbled into the room.

"Nikita..." Birkoff called out and there was no movement from Nikita. Instead, she turned her head in the opposite direction from which Birkoff called out. Birkoff dropped off his briefcase and started up the stairs quickly. He walked into Maralah's room and sighed as he saw the item that was causing the tears. Birkoff adjusted Maralah and she quickly drifted back to sleep.

"Nikita..." Birkoff called out firmly as he walked towards Nikita. Enough was enough. This time, Nikita didn't even react to her own daughter. It could jeopardize Maralah.

"Seymour..." Nikita stated, as she was surprised to see Birkoff there. In fact, he was early and Nikita placed a hand to her neck as she settled in the chair again. Birkoff felt the muscles in his jaw tense up. He did not want to accuse Nikita of being a bad mother that was definitely not something that he thought, but this was a wake up call. Someone had to fix Nikita, but first Birkoff had to know what was broken.

"Maralah was crying when I walked in..." Birkoff stated and Nikita jumped in the chair. Gradually, Nikita looked upstairs and then at Birkoff. It was a defense mechanism to start shaking her head from side to side, trying to negate what Birkoff had stated. Birkoff placed his hands down on Nikita's hands and stared at her.

"I know what I heard and saw, Nikita. You didn't even know that she was crying," Birkoff stated and Nikita pulled her arms away as she started to move up the back of the chair. It tilted lightly until Birkoff yanked it back down and stepped away just to avoid injury to Nikita.

"No... I never miss her. I feed her. I clean her. I read to her. I am her mother," Nikita stated out as she stared at Birkoff. He bit back the bitter words of what he thought Nikita was doing right now. Yes, she did show all signs of tending to her all the time, but there was something missing now. It was something that Madeline helped to take away.

"But not this time, Nikita," Birkoff emphasized. He could get no information from Nikita if she didn't know what she did was wrong, or if she did it at all. The swinging head from side to side continued to bother Birkoff and he bit down on his lip hard. He didn't want to yell this late into the night.

But he had run out of the answers. Nikita never let him close enough to her. She never talked anymore. He didn't know what she slept, but he was sure that she did. He knew that now Nikita would run with Maralah and she continued to workout in the house. There were no circles underneath her eyes. There was no evidence that Nikita wasn't sleeping.

But she wasn't all there.

"I need the truth, Nikita! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TRUTH!" Birkoff shouted, giving into the urge, knowing that drastic was going to make something happen. But he wasn't Madeline. He couldn't be sure what his actions were going to do to Nikita's reactions.

"The truth is hidden. It always is. It hurts, Birkoff!" Nikita hissed back as she slipped away from the chair and stood up. She flicked the lights on and looked around.

"But it can't hurt you forever. You are allowing it too! Nikita.. we had a promise to each other... What happened to that?" Birkoff hissed out, hoping to get something from Nikita other than it hurts. That much was clearly seen on Nikita's face and from her behavior.

"We never did that.... Do you really want to tell me the truth about everything you have been doing?" Nikita questioned hotly back, knowing that Birkoff was not too proud of the things that he was doing for the mission. Birkoff looked to the side and then narrowed his eyes.

"I would tell you the truth about them all if you would just tell me the truth about what is going on here," Birkoff promised and Nikita started to shake her head immediately.

"What do you think the problem is? You seem to be the one with all the answers," Nikita bated Birkoff. She didn't want to speak about this. In fact, she just wanted to be quite, but knew that Birkoff was not going to let this rest until he felt that he knew something more. His anger was growing, as was Nikita's.

"I think that something else happened with you, Nikita..." Birkoff sighed out, hoping that they did not sound like condemning words.

They did.

"You see me as the problem, Birkoff.... I see you as part of the problem. Who knows the truth?" Nikita questioned as she looked around. She looked up the stairs and heard Maralah crying from the shouting that was occurring downstairs.

Nikita didn't remember things when she was just three months old, but she did remember waking up to hearing her mother fighting with one of the many boyfriends. She remembered how scared that she was and how disappointed she was in her mother for not thinking about her.

Now Nikita had another thing to equate herself with her mother too.

"I have to go to Maralah..." Nikita stated, but Birkoff shook his head back and forth as he tried to obstruct Nikita's path to the stairs.

"She just started to cry, Nikita..." Birkoff stated, knowing that this was just an easy way for Nikita to escape from this conversation.

"She is just a baby, Birkoff! Now didn't this whole argument start because I missed her crying when you came in?" Nikita fired back as she stared at Birkoff's eyes. He didn't even blink.

"We need to talk about this now... Maralah will be fine..." Birkoff stated and Nikita shook her head and pushed Birkoff to the side, something that flared the growing anger that he had. Birkoff gathered his balance and saw Nikita's back as she was about to head up the stairs. Birkoff with one swift move reached his hand out and grabbed a chunk of Nikita's blonde hair.

And he yanked Nikita back in front of him.

"We need to talk..." Birkoff hissed as he dropped his hand and looked up at Nikita's face. It was at that point he knew that his irrational and compulsive move was dangerous and idiotic to do. Nikita looked to Birkoff as she touched her head.

"Nikita... I'm sorry... I was just frustrated... You always walk away when we talk like this... and we need..." Birkoff tried to explain, but Nikita was already trapping herself deep inside of some box and throwing away the keys. The chilling part of all of what Nikita was doing, was that it was being down with no tears flowing from her eyes.

But the silence was deafening.

Birkoff was sure that the only sounds heard were Maralah's last few cries as she settled herself, and Birkoff's heartbeat racing wildly. Birkoff couldn't hear Nikita's as she sat back down in the chair.

"Nikita... please talk to me..." Birkoff said as he moved towards Nikita. He stopped when Nikita turned her head to the side and flinched. She focused on the can that she had been drinking from and picked it back up. Her hand shook back and forth and up and down. There was not a steady part of her body as she placed the can to her lips and took a sip.

"Please... Nikita... I'm sorry..." Birkoff pleaded as he stared at Nikita. It was like there was an invisible wall between them and Birkoff walked to break it down. This was not health for Nikita and he knew what he did was wrong.

Was Nikita regressed? Birkoff wasn't able to tell. She was retreating from the real world, or at least from parts of the world that she didn't want to deal with.

"Damn!" Birkoff cursed as he walked away from Nikita, knowing how he helped plunge a bad situation into an unbearable situation. This was something that Birkoff could not handle by himself any longer. It was something that he needed help and expertise with. Birkoff moved out of the room, feeling the tears boiling at his eyes. He needed to get air.

He still was horrified that he had yanked Nikita's hair, enough to pull her back to face him. Birkoff placed a trembling hand, much like Nikita's, over his face as he pulled the cell phone. He looked towards the room and walked out onto the front porch.

He needed fresh air and needed to confess his sins.

~~

"YOU WHAT?" Walter yelled as he felt the pressure in all of his body explode quickly. Listening to Birkoff's voice first worried him. The lead up in the story only added to the stress. However, this last thing that Birkoff added almost crossed Walter from pissed off to being ready to commit mass murder, starting with Birkoff.

"I know it was a mistake, Walter.... And I tried to tell Nikita... but she wasn't there... She shut down..." Birkoff rushed out and Walter turned around and looked at his desk. He picked up a paperweight and then chucked it out into the hallway. He was so upset at Birkoff for the pea-brained action that he just did to Nikita, creating more damage to a girl who had been through enough.

"YOU DID WHAT?" Walter hissed again as he needed to hear Birkoff to say it once more, to make sure he knew the story.

"I pulled Nikita's hair back so I could talk to her.... She was running away, Walter..." Birkoff tried to explain again, putting his explanation onto the action, trying to look not as guilty as Walter knew Birkoff to be. There were some things that Birkoff was really good at. This was not one of them.

"You pulled Nikita's hair?" Walter questioned and Birkoff winced. Walter's tone expressed how awful the actions were and echoed the pain that was in Birkoff's heart that Walter seemed to think wasn't there. Birkoff just wanted to make this situation better, no matter what it took.

"Yes, Walter and now I need your help!" Birkoff yelled out as he looked out at his silent street. He wanted to know why no one else seemed to have the problems he was having. He looked up and down before flopping down on the front stairs.

"Correction Seymour," Walter drawled out. "Nikita needs my help for the stupidest mistake you have ever made in your entirely too short of a life. Now tell me why I shouldn't hurt you when I get there?"

"You haven't been here, Walter! You can't judge me! Something is wrong with her and something has to snap her out of it!" Birkoff urged as he stomped his feet on the wooden stairs.

"Oh..." Walter stated sharply. "So you thought that by violently pulling Nikita's hair might snap her out of this mood that she is in?"

"NO!" Birkoff hollered as he lifted his head. He ran his hands through his hair as he hung his head back. Birkoff was so worried about what Walter was going to do to him, he didn't have time to realize how much worse this would have been if he had to call Michael.

"Walter... please... Just come and help Nikita.... then you can beat me up," Birkoff stated out pitifully, and finally gaining Walter's heavy sigh.

*

Walter arrived sometime early in the morning, while the light outside was just starting to break into the morning light. He looked at the house and sighed, knowing that what Birkoff had done triggered a violent response inside of Nikita. Not a response that made Nikita upset and combative, but a response that was shutting her down.

Birkoff must have been waiting for him. The door opened as Walter started up the stairs. The story would still be the somewhat the same if someone would stop and see Walter. If Madeline was a mentor, so was Walter. Only Walter knew that he was there to fix whatever Birkoff helped to break.

The feeling was when Birkoff stepped away that things in the house had not been good for sometime. It was like in ways Madeline and Operations set up this mission to see which operative was going to crack first into the world of insanity. Walter couldn't imagine that it took this long for Nikita's emotions to break. He thought that the beginning of the end would occur when Madeline drained the milk from her breasts with one shot of drugs.

Walter knew that it contributed to whatever was going on here. The last time Walter saw Nikita, she was with Michael, with his ring on. She was happy and it was related directly to what Michael was to her and how he treated her.

After Walter helped Nikita, he had a feeling that he was going to need a heart to heart talk with Birkoff. Yes, he had to do certain things because of the mission, but he was going to be held guilty first for pulling Nikita's hair as he had, and second for allowing Nikita to get to the state at which Birkoff would have to pull her hair.

Birkoff had Maralah in his arms, looking worried. Walter touched his shoulder and looked up the stairs.

"Why don't you go upstairs..." Walter offered, not wanting Birkoff to leave right now. Birkoff looked off to the room that Nikita was sitting in, having only moved to get more to drink. Birkoff shook his head back and forth.

"I'll go to the office... I have some work and I have a crib there for Maralah," Birkoff stated, having made up his mind hours ago when Nikita still didn't speak to him. Walter looked at Birkoff as he sadly pads his way out of the house and to the car.

Walter stared out the door for a long time, watching as Birkoff settled Maralah backwards in the car seat. Birkoff even looked back once more, showing the guilt that was on his face as he turned to drive the car away.

The door softly closed with the slight push from Walter as he moved towards Nikita. She didn't turn her head to look at him, something that should have been automatic for a field operative. All the test scores that Madeline and Operations were gushing about didn't mean anything as Walter looked at Nikita now, not even responding to a slamming door.

"Sugar... Can we talk?" Walter questioned as he called out to her, not wanting to embarrass her whenever she did notice that he was there. Nikita looked to him and didn't jump at his presence. She just merely turned her head to drink something more. She stared off to the wall.

It was her decision not to talk. Walter saw that as she stared off to the wall. Apparently, Nikita did know that he had entered the house, unlike what Walter first thought. This was going to be difficult if Nikita wasn't going to speak.

"Look... Sugar... Birkoff is out of the house and he took Maralah. It's only me and you and we can talk about anything you want too..." Walter stated as he pulled the footstool from the corner over in front of Nikita. He sat down and touched her leg softly.

Nikita only turned her head away to the side as if she was just going to ignore him.

"There is nothing to talk about..." Nikita stated out in a metered voice that made Walter's heart jump. It sounded so pained and tortured. It aggrieved all that Walter felt about the situation. Nikita was in so much pain and it was not fair.

"Come on, Nikita... I know what Birkoff did to you..." Walter stated, not allowing Nikita to push this conversation off. It was necessary to do this now before anything else happened. She needed help. Birkoff needed help. This mission couldn't go downhill now. It was too soon for Maralah. More time was needed.

"He pulled my hair... So what?" Nikita spat out, but she didn't turn her head to Walter. Walter leaned back, wondering what was causing Nikita to keep her eyes away from him. He just wanted to pull her head around to look into her eyes, but he couldn't risk that physical contact right now.

Instead Walter watched as Nikita sipped more at her pop and then turned her head to the other shoulder, not looking at him for more than the movement of moving her head. Walter shook his head, feeling frustrated and inadequate at these sorts of things. He was just trying to fill in here, trying to help Birkoff out.

"Nikita... it was something that shouldn't have happened and you need to talk about..." Walter stated. He didn't want to say something too much. Nikita was like a book that Walter just bought. He didn't know what was going to come. He used to know Nikita so well and now, she was nothing like what he remembered.

"He is the husband," Nikita commented out bitterly and Walter nodded his head. There was the resentment that Walter knew laid deep in Nikita's heart. She looked at Walter for a second.

"He told me I was a bad mother," Nikita stated and Walter licked his lips. He didn't believe that Birkoff was capable of saying such an evil thing to anyone, let alone a good friend like Nikita. Before Walter could say anything more, Nikita turned her head back to hiding from him.

"I think he was concerned, Nikita. Didn't you miss Maralah crying?" Walter questioned, trying to make some sense of the situation, doing something to get Nikita to talk. It sure wasn't something that Nikita willingly wanted to talk about.

"I missed her once, Walter! ONCE! And she hadn't cried that long! Do you know how often Birkoff chips in around here!" Nikita hissed as she stared at the table that had the empty cans of drinks. Walter winced. He didn't want to fight with Nikita, but if that was the only way that Nikita would talk, then Walter would dig in his heals and find out what was wrong.

"I don't know how often Birkoff is around. Why don't you tell me, sugar?" Walter questioned in a metered voice, trying not to raise his voice to match Nikita's own loud voice.

"He is never around! He comes home after the eleven o'clock news... he goes to bed... he wakes up at six and is out the door at a quarter to seven! I am the only one here!" Nikita shouted and Walter winced. That was something that was all of Birkoff's fault and Walter was going to have something to say to the young man about that. Nikita was only a mother for three months and the first two months she had to deal with Ryce making Birkoff cheat. Now she had to deal with Birkoff never coming home.

That wasn't fair to Nikita.

"Oh sugar... that must be hard on you..." Walter softly stated, hoping to get more. He needed to know what Nikita was thinking and feeling. This ended up not being about Birkoff pulling Nikita's hair. That was only one symptom of the problem that now was on Walter's lap.

"I want Michael! I miss him!" Nikita shouted as she looked to Walter. She caught his eyes and then turned her head abruptly. She was sure that Walter saw something there that she didn't want him to know.

"So you are giving up fighting for Michael? Is that fair to your child?" Walter questioned immediately, not allowing Nikita off the hook. He was letting Nikita know that he was going to continue to dig and dig until he found the root of this problem, although Walter had a few formed ideas in his head.

"What? What is fair for my child? Do you think it was fair for Madeline to take away the one thing I found joy in during those days that Birkoff was screwing anything that would spread their legs?" Nikita hissed out as she looked at Walter. She stared at him and Walter closed his eyes.

Then something hit him.

It was a smell and his heart threatened to break right there, but yet he couldn't speak to it.

"What Madeline did was unthinkable Nikita. But do you think that you should punish yourself and your daughter of the bond that should happen between mother and child because of Madeline?" Walter firmly questioned as his eyes softened. Nikita was injured beyond what Walter thought he would find.

"It made me a good mother, Walter!" Nikita argued out and Walter fought back his own tears. He turned his head as Nikita moved once more. He saw that Nikita was reaching for her can once again.

"No, Nikita," Walter stated as he pulled the can out of Nikita's hand and settled it back to the table. Nikita froze for a second, much like a wild animal in front of two headlights. But that soon left as Nikita stared at Walter and picked up the can again without looking.

"NO!" Walter hollered as he pulled the can away from Nikita's hand again.

"Why?" Nikita questioned. Walter stared at Nikita. She was too young for all of this. She shouldn't be going through this. This wasn't an answer to anything that she was feeling, but it was an escape.

"Nikita... drinking...alcohol.. is not going to solve any problems..." Walter stated out in firm words, staring at Nikita's eyes firmly. She started to shake her head.

"I'm not drinking like that Walter..." Nikita stated as she picked up the can. Again, Walter reached for it and slammed it down to the table.

"I can smell it on your breath, Nikita!" Walter hissed out as Nikita turned her head to the side. Now was not the time to worry about the petty things. This needed to be dealt with before it got out of control. It was mentioned when Nikita first came into Section One that this was something that needed to be monitored, as it would only be one signal of depression in the young woman who lived so long on the streets.

"Then you must be imagining things, Walter," Nikita stated out, as she did not look at him. Walter gently placed his fingers on Nikita's chin and turned it to look at him. He stared at her eyes and cursed himself for not seeing it when he first walked into the house.

"I can see it in your eyes, Nikita..." Walter stated as he looked at Nikita's eyes.

"You are wrong, Walter..." Nikita warned out as her bottom lip trembled. The lies that Nikita had surrounded herself with were falling apart and the world that she was trying to escape within was crumbling. Walter stood up to walk away to wipe his own tears away.

It was heartbreaking to see Nikita like this, but Walter was thankful that it was himself that came now. Madeline would have been brutal and Michael he would have done something drastic, even risk the mission. Now, Walter had to figure out all the motives for this drinking and why it appeared now. The depression might have been related to Maralah... but Walter was sure that the little girl never made Nikita sad unless she thought about how she couldn't breastfeed day and night.

When Walter turned around, he found that Nikita had reached for the can again and was shaking as she tried to place it to her lips. Walter grabbed for it and chugged down some himself. He settled the can down on the table and looked to Nikita.

"Nikita..." Walter whispered, as he couldn't control his tears. They rolled down his face quickly as he looked at Nikita. She looked at him and started to cry herself.

"I'm so bad..." Nikita cried out as she started to lean forward. Walter grabbed her shoulders, keeping Nikita in the chair. He wanted to talk about this but as Nikita cried about being caught, he realized that the tears were about other places also.

"Nikita... it's ok.. but we have to talk about this... and stop this..." Walter stated and Nikita shook her head as she looked at Walter. At first her eyes looked sad, but then quickly turned to horrified.

"OH MY GOD!" Nikita screamed as she jumped her feet up onto the chair. Walter reached for Nikita, not allowing her to get away. He didn't now what was surging through her mind, but he knew that it wasn't good whatever it was.

"I'm my mother!" Nikita screamed as she looked at Walter and collapsed her face into his arms. Walter shook with Nikita's words.

"No... Nikita... You aren't your mother..." Walter stated as he tried to control this reaction. Nikita shook her head back and forth. She pushed at Walter's chest; breaking the bear hug that Walter hadn't been able to latch Nikita firmly into.

"I am as bad as my mother... I can't be a good mother... I TOLD MICHAEL TO TAKE THE BABY AND KILL ME!" Nikita screamed as she continued to lose control of her emotions. Walter swallowed as Nikita again, tried to get away from Walter and the chair.

"No! Nikita you are a great mother!" Walter urged out as Nikita continued to struggle.

And she did break free and started to run up the stairs, but soon stopped. She turned around and looked at Walter as he stood at the bottom. His heart dropped to his stomach, as this did not look good.

"Why did he let me have her? I am cursed! I have neglected my child just like my mother neglected me?" Nikita questioned and Walter shook his head. He couldn't allow Nikita to think this way. This was something else that was happening.

"Nikita... Michael let you have Maralah because your love for Michael and Maralah is stronger than anything else. You haven't neglected her at all. You have neglected yourself," Walter tried to explain, he was sure that his words weren't getting to her. Nikita shook her head back and forth and her hair flew in all directions.

"I am bad! I am the one that caused all of this! I am a danger to my daughter!" Nikita cried out as Walter inched forward. He didn't like the way Nikita was teetering and now was not the time for Nikita to act out hastily.

"You aren't a danger, Nikita.... This is a complicated situation with many people to blame... It is not you..." Walter urged Nikita, trying to give her anything to hold onto as hope.

"I just want to be helped sometimes, Walter... I feel all alone... No one loves me...." Nikita moaned as she started to lean forward. Walter hastily moved up the stairs and grabbed Nikita before she could tumble down the stairs.

She clung to him much like a baby would have as he picked her lanky form up and started up the stairs. All of what Walter said, he believed in. This wasn't all about Nikita. She was the one having all the problems because she was the one that didn't have something to fall back on. There was nothing for her and Walter blamed himself.

Section One was failing Nikita and big time. Michael was doing what he could, but because of Nikita's childhood, Nikita often felt that she couldn't allow Michael to see her when she wasn't strong and in control. Birkoff failed Nikita by letting it get this bad for not reacting sooner than this. Madeline was guilty for making Nikita lose that easy and simple bond that she had depended on for making her feel like a real mother. And Walter failed, but only talking to Birkoff and waiting for Birkoff. Nikita needed him and he wasn't there for her like he had been in the past.

"You should go back... Section One needs you.... They don't need me..." Nikita stated softly into Walter's shoulders. His first instinct was to ignore the comment, but knew that it was deeper than most of what Nikita had ranted and raved about. This was something that was easy to prove to Nikita, and give her self worth in the same moment.

"Sugar.... You need me... and I'm not leaving until we have that heart to heart talk that you've probably needed for over a year..." Walter stated as he settled down on the bed with her. He didn't know that this was the room that only Birkoff used, but he didn't care. He pulled the pillows up near the headboard and held Nikita in his arms.

"Walter... please..." Nikita stated as she tried once more to get Walter to leave. But her tears told another story along with her squeezing hands around his waist. Nikita surely didn't want Walter to leave.

"Look sugar... I need you... and you need me... And Michael needs you... and Maralah needs you... I won't allow anymore talk of you not being needed," Walter firmly stated as he rubbed Nikita's hair softly, neglecting his own tears. It broke his heart when Section One didn't kill the operative, but almost killed the spirit inside the operative.

Yes, Nikita's was a unique situation never seen inside of Section One. But for Madeline to think that Nikita would be all right by having only the child, it was definitely wrong for her to think that it was right. It should have made Madeline realize that this was something that needed wanted but also feared. This was something that drudged up all those childhood feelings and pains that Nikita never whispered a word about. Nikita needed even more support instead of no support.

"Walter..." Nikita cried out as she gave up that fight. She closed her eyes and cherished the fact that Walter was there and crying with her.

"I'm not leaving ya, sugar.... Not now... Not now..." Walter stated and Nikita smiled as she continued to cry. Something that was well overdue.

And when she woke up, Walter would deal with the hang over and everything else. Nikita had accepted his help and Walter was going to deliver.

Along with a knockout punch to Birkoff for being the biggest knucklehead in this entire mess.

*

It was not a formal meeting, but as Walter arrived back at Section One after almost an entire day gone, Michael and Madeline both followed him. It was Madeline that cleared her throat, clearly not comfortable discussing what was going on in the open areas that Walter was used to working in.

"This way..." Madeline stated as Walter stopped and looked at the two concerned parties. Walter dropped his head and then followed. He was not pleased with the limited time he was given on this situation, but felt that a lot had been accomplished in that time.

Madeline secured the small room and looked at Walter as he leaned against a countertop of the small bathroom. Walter dropped his head slightly and swallowed.

"The problem was complicated... and on the surface... it looked to be easy..." Walter started out. He wasn't sure how his words were going to be taken. Madeline and Michael were different people and Walter had it plotted in his head how he was going to tell each one. This meeting now changed those plans.

"And?" Michael questioned and Walter sighed. He leaned his head back.

"The problem on a whole... is not you, or Madeline, or Section One..." Walter stated and Madeline closed her eyes. She knew the problem.

"Birkoff," Madeline stated. It wasn't a question and Walter knew that Madeline had a feeling that this was going to be something that could happen.

" Yes... Birkoff hasn't helped. I found her when I arrived... well.. she had been drinking and apparently for some amount of time," Walter stated and Michael turned around and leaned over the sink. That thought made him sick and Walter sighed. Michael shouldn't have to hear all the details that he could have spared Michael.

"After some fashion... I got Nikita to speak.. when she assumed that she was no better than her mother," Walter whispered out as he touched Michael's arm and waited for the level five operative to turn around and look at him. Michael did just that and showed the tears on his face.

"It is a constant fear..." Michael stated and Walter nodded his head. He looked to Madeline.

"I don't think that Nikita is the problem here. She is doing everything right, but the problem is Birkoff. He has no concept that Nikita might need more than him doing all the things at the office," Walter warned out and Madeline winced. She had wanted to get Birkoff more training on things that were now causing the problems. Computers were easy to understand. People were much different and with at least Nikita, Birkoff was failing and badly.

"So how are any of the problems solved?" Michael sternly questioned. He didn't see how Walter being there for one day was going to stop Nikita from getting out of this mood. Madeline reached out and touched Michael's arm.

"One person told her that she was doing a great job..." Madeline stated and Walter nodded his head.

"And she slept... and we talked..." Walter informed Michael has he barely nodded his head up and down. Walter looked to Michael and swallowed. "And I had a nice conversation with Birkoff."

"You didn't do anything drastic, did you?" Madeline immediately questioned. She could not think of the impact of a black eye on Birkoff would have with Ryce. It could cause the mission to be thrown into a tailspin.

"No... nothing drastic... But once Birkoff returned with Maralah, who Nikita immediately started to make up too... I took Birkoff back to the office... to talk..." Walter said with an evil smile. Michael turned his head and looked at Walter.

"Nikita has Maralah?" Michael questioned and Walter rolled his eyes.

"Of course... she is so good with her... And doesn't give herself enough credit..." Walter stated. He didn't say anything too harsh, but the implied hint was there. No one was telling Nikita how good she was doing and that they better start doing it soon.

"I miss them..." Michael softly stated as he turned away. Madeline noted the sadness that was in Michael's voice and then looked back at Walter. If this conversation didn't end soon, Operations was going to be looking for all of them.

"What did you talk to Birkoff about?" Madeline questioned, wanting to know how much damage control she was going to have to do with this mission. She knew that it was important for things to change, as it was dangerous for Birkoff to be pulling Nikita's hair and Nikita to be drinking. Of course, with the wrong move, Ryce could leave Birkoff and get another expert and a year of work would be down the tubes.

"I looked at his work load... and saw that most of why he is staying late at work is because he is doing things voluntarily. He is helping people out and filling in for departments that have short staff. I had him write several memos, relieving himself from those duties due to family obligations..." Walter stated and Madeline nodded her head. It was a perfectly good way to get Birkoff back on track with Nikita. Ryce also would not perceive it as something wrong. In fact, Ryce may even find it more of a reason to use Birkoff since he has a devotion to his family.

"Is that all?" Michael questioned and Walter shook his head. He looked to Michael, knowing that Michael was waiting for more.

"I had a firm discussion of what I would do to him if he ever touched Nikita as he did last night... and I reminded him that it was only what I did and I had no control over what Michael would do," Walter simply stated out. Madeline nodded her head as Michael looked to the side. He wanted Birkoff to hurt, but if the threat worked, then it was good enough. Michael was sure that the threat would keep Birkoff up a few nights.

~~

Operations stared at Madeline as he made the move into her office. Her hands were holding her chin up, as there were glistening tears on her face. He had no memory of seeing Madeline like this. Something was going on and Operations cleared his throat.

"Paul..." Madeline stated as she lifted her head and didn't even attempt to swipe at the tears. She stared at the computer and then turned her head to the side.

"Madeline... what is going on?" Operations questioned as he sat down in the chair in front of her desk. She looked to him through some hair that had fallen to cover her face and then looked to the side.

"I think I made a mistake..." Madeline whispered out. It was a big statement. One that Madeline did not make that often, even when she first started at Section One.

"About allowing Nikita having the baby?" Operations questioned with a little gloat in his voice. He had been waiting for Madeline to say that was a mistake for sometime.

"Not that. The mission with Ryce Borjas would never have gotten off the ground if there was no baby," Madeline quickly dismissed with an air of confidence. Operations looked to his folded hands and then back up at Madeline. The tears were still twinkling in her eyes and some even continued to fall out of those warm chocolate eyes.

"But this is about Nikita, correct?" Operations questioned and Madeline nodded her head. Operations rolled his eyes and leaned back in the chair.

"This mistake was with Birkoff..." Madeline slowly stated and Operations closed his eyes. Now was not the time for mistakes. They were over a year into this mission and one baby was already there.

"Why?" Operations questioned and Madeline sighed. It was a hard question to answer. She couldn't just give a reason. Maybe it was Birkoff's lack of maturity. Maybe it was Birkoff's friendship with Nikita. Maybe it was simply because Birkoff wasn't Michael. There was no easy answer here.

"He doesn't fit. We should have placed Michael," Madeline stated and Operations narrowed his eyes.

"You know Section One well enough to know that I would have never allowed Michael and Nikita out on a long term mission as such," Operations snapped and Madeline looked at him as she sadly shook her head from shoulder to shoulder. She looked pitifully sad and Operations let up on the attitude he was giving Madeline.

"What is wrong?" Operations questioned and Madeline blinked her eyes.

"I could give you a short list of what is right," Madeline sarcastically remarked as she dropped her head once more. She didn't like anyone seeing her like this, let alone Paul. "Let's start with the fact that Birkoff works all the time on non mission related things so he doesn't go home... and he pulled Nikita's hair yesterday that we are lucky that Nikita didn't kill him..."

"Or... he drove Nikita to drinking and he plays no active role in Maralah's life...or how he has been the typical male chauvinist pig while Nikita has needed support and to be cherished?" Madeline continued and then pulled her head up. She had unloaded a lot on Operations and he was sure that those were only the highlights of what was going on between Nikita and Birkoff.

"I can feel for her," Madeline revealed as she pushed her hands through her hair, trying to push it out of her face unsuccessfully.

"How?" Operations questioned.

"I think she is amazing..." Madeline stated and then blinked her eyes. She couldn't believe she allowed those words out.

"Madeline..." Operations warned as he stood up. He wanted this silliness stopped. There were other things that needed to be worried about, but Madeline stopped Operations with a simple touch of her hand. Then she lifted her eyes to look at him.

"I have to tell someone...." Madeline warned out and Operations sat back down. It was wiser for him to hear Madeline confess all of this than anyone else inside of Section.

"After Sarah died.... I was neglected somewhat like Nikita. I wasn't abused and all that... but I was neglected and forgotten about..." Madeline started to talk out the pain that was in her heart for so many years. Somehow, hearing what Nikita was doing in this mission was triggering all the emotions that Madeline had hoped that she would never have to deal with.

"When that happens to you... when your mother wants nothing to do with you... it does something deep inside of you..." Madeline tried to explain. It was hard to put to words what she was feeling and what she saw inside of Nikita.

"What does this have to do with Nikita?" Operations questioned, almost getting tired of this line of conversation. There was no new information coming forward. Information was always the most important thing inside of Section One.

"She was just like me... worse... but yet... she found a way to have a child and love that child..." Madeline slowly stated and Operations winced. He did not like the fact that Nikita had a child. Period. It was worse when Michael was the father.

"I couldn't do that... I couldn't sit there and wait for my own child... to possibly not love me..." Madeline whispered and Operations gasped.

"How do you think Nikita was able to do it?" Operations questioned, trying to get Madeline off the person externalization of her emotions. This wasn't and shouldn't be about Madeline.

"Michael... it is that simple. Somehow he healed a part of her that I didn't think would ever be healed..." Madeline easily responded. It was an amazing feat that Madeline was sure that she would never fully understand.

"But it is a tedious position to be at... She doesn't see Michael enough... And Birkoff is just failing... He can't even be a good standing..." Madeline urged out as she shook her head back and forth.

"And somehow... through the months that Nikita has been separated from Michael, she found more strength in that love..." Madeline continued as her words drifted off. They were so soft and thin.

"Maybe you just didn't have the right person love you yet, Madeline," Operations offered as he looked at her pained eyes. This was hitting Madeline hard and she dropped her head to the side.

"I won't.... I closed that part of myself off a long time ago..." Madeline indicated and Operations pressed his lips together. He didn't know what that meant for their relationship.

"What do we do?" Operations questioned, deciding it was best to focus on the subject of Nikita.

"Cross our fingers..." Madeline moaned out as she turned the chair around and looked at her wall. She couldn't look at Operations any longer and she couldn't think about this any longer with him in the room.

Operations left quickly, knowing that he was only going to heighten the problem more. He looked over his shoulder as the door closed and winced. Madeline had gotten closer to Nikita than he thought and that would change everything now.

~~

Nikita held Maralah in her arms as she had done most of the time since she came home with Birkoff at lunch. Nikita held her and told her stories.

Nikita even went to the internet to find decent children's stories to read to her. Anything to spend time with her child. She was making up all the time that she had wasted sitting in that chair and drinking.

There was only one thing that Nikita had to worry about right now. Maralah. Walter trusted her to be strong and that was something that Nikita could do and had to do. There were no options.

"Golden slumber kiss your eyes... smiles await you when you rise..." Nikita started to sing the lullaby. Walter had quickly taught her it when Nikita stated that sometimes she didn't know anything to sing to the baby. He taught her one for the mean time and then would send her some information on others later.

"Sleep, pretty baby... and I'll sing you a lullaby..." Nikita sang out softly as she noticed that Maralah was clearly asleep. She loved her daughter so much. She looked like Michael and now Nikita could see how special that was. It helped her remember every moment of the deep love that Michael had for her to allow her to raise his child. Their child.

"Care you know not therefore sleep.... While I o'ver you watch do keep...." Nikita stated as she felt the tears growing in her eyes. She didn't worry about anything else. She didn't worry about how late it was and how Birkoff wasn't home yet, again. Worries for times away from her child. It would be a huge mistake to allow this time to pass and waste it with stupid things.

"Sleep pretty darling.... Do not cry and I will sing you a lullaby..." Nikita finished as she settled Maralah into the cradle and smiled.

"I love you Maralah..." Nikita whispered and sighed heavily.

*

Nikita settled into the upstairs bedroom and leaned her head back. She smiled softly. Walter thought that she was a good mother. It warmed her heart. It made Nikita's day. It helped to ease the tiredness that never seemed to go away and seeing Walter broke up the repetition of the days.

Nikita turned her head slightly as she stomach growled. It was about seven and Nikita shook her head. It felt so much later than that, but she wasn't surprised to find it so early. She lost track of time almost everyday, being in the house alone with Maralah, but time always seemed to go slower. She used to laugh at the thought, as mothers all described how fast their children grew up while Nikita found it the opposite.

With care, Nikita opened up the door to Maralah's room and pulled out the baby monitor. She looked at her daughter as she turned on the device, going downstairs to seek out some food. Suddenly food was important to Nikita once again.

It was only a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Nikita made herself, but she found the joy that she had lost about such things. Nikita thought about the time in the future that she could be making this with her daughter and wiping the sticky mess off of her face. The thought brought a smile to Nikita's face as she licked the bit of peanut butter that got stuck on her fingernail. How she missed simple things like this!

Nikita settled on the stool and soon lost herself into the fantasies that she now allowed herself to have about her daughter. It was amazing how the words of one man support Nikita as a mother, transformed her. Before, Nikita was worried that Maralah would live from one day to the next, that she didn't allow these dreams. Now, Nikita knew that she was a good mother. Her heart and soul were validated. Now she couldn't wait until Maralah got to go to school. She couldn't wait to have all the kid parties for birthday parties. She couldn't wait to teach Maralah to swim.

Birkoff opened the door and saw the kitchen light on. It was so early and Birkoff shifted the giant bouquet of roses in his arms and started to walk towards the kitchen. He could tell that Maralah was asleep as he saw the baby monitor on the table and Nikita leaning on her elbows. Walter had worked a miracle and Birkoff reminded himself to thank Walter a hundred times over.

"These are for you..." Birkoff said as he reached in front of Nikita and placed the bouquet of peace roses in Nikita's arm. She looked at the stunning yellow and pink color as tears started to form in her eyes. The gesture was huge and Nikita looked at Birkoff.

She missed her friend. They had been able to get along during all the hassles of her pregnancy, even when she was being difficult. Their friendship was a lot like brother and sister, but it was also do much deeper.

"They are gorgeous..." Nikita stated and Birkoff smiled as he looked at Nikita's face. It was so good to see her smile at something else than her daughter. Birkoff smiled as he stroked Nikita's hair back slightly and then sighed.

"I just wanted to ask for forgiveness for how I have been..." Birkoff revealed and Nikita tilted her head to the side. She was going to apologize for allowing her depression to take over and to start drinking. She was upset that she just hadn't talked to Birkoff, but realized that this was more important. Birkoff atoning for his mistakes went much further than anything that Nikita had done.

"You needed me to be here and I got my priorities all mixed up. You and Maralah needed to come very important to me... and with Ryce away... I forgot to give you the time that was deserved," Birkoff continued and Nikita nodded her head. Birkoff's words were healing her also, much like Walter had done to her.

"You didn't ask to be a father, Birkoff..." Nikita stated, trying to lessen the pain that was in Birkoff's eyes. However, Walter had showed Birkoff the light. He had been warned that Nikita would try to make him feel better. Walter had even stated that Birkoff should let Nikita that he felt better with Nikita's words, but that Birkoff should remember that in the grand scheme of things that Birkoff was the one in the wrong.

"I know..." Birkoff affirmed as he sighed heavily. "But it doesn't mean that I was correct in neglecting you and Maralah... you have been caring for Maralah all by yourself without a break... And I intend on changing that..." Birkoff announced. Nikita raised an eyebrow. It sounded almost too good. Nikita shifted the roses and reached up to pinch her own cheek.

Nope, she was awake.

"I'm going to get these in water..." Nikita stated as she stood up. In that moment, Maralah started to cry. Nikita turned her head to the monitor and sighed. She wearily shifted her weight, about to go to her daughter.

"You get those in water," Birkoff stated as he placed his hands on Nikita's shoulders. "I'll go get Maralah... Is that her food cry?"

"Diaper," Nikita stated and Birkoff smiled and trotted off to go tend to Maralah. Nikita smirked as she thought of the first time that Birkoff put a diaper on Maralah. Nikita turned to the sink and pulled out a vase. It was the simple things, like the flowers and the apology. Nikita leaned against the sink and slowly started to arrange the roses.

"Mara... Remember me?" Birkoff's voice crackled over the monitor. Nikita turned around and looked at the baby monitor. God, he sounded so young. Nikita pressed her lips together and rubbed at her neck.

"Ok.... Ewwww ....." Birkoff exclaimed and Nikita giggled softly. That was practically Birkoff's first reaction to his first diaper. Nikita settled the roses into the water quickly, knowing that she needed to be upstairs also. She settled the vase on the table and picked up the monitor.

"A sprinkle, sprinkle here... and a sprinkle, sprinkle there... Just like mommy told me to do..." Birkoff stated as he said each step out, as if he was still unsure of himself. Nikita started up the stairs with a smile on her face.

Nikita moved down the hallway and peaked into the room. Birkoff picked up Maralah and placed her back in bed. She wasn't going to fuss and she would soon be asleep. Birkoff leaned down and kissed her head.

"I'm going to be around a lot more..." Birkoff promised as he stood up. He jumped as Nikita placed the monitor on the changing table. Birkoff jumped and Nikita sighed.

She felt so happy, but she was also tired. Nikita lifted her hand to her neck and rubbed lightly. Birkoff moved to Nikita and placed his hands on her shoulders. He was shocked with her tense muscles.

"Is there anything you want, Nikita?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita lifted her eyebrow. It was quite a broad questioned. "Except Michael. I can't deliver on that one."

Nikita looked to Birkoff and smiled. She was just so happy to see him around. It would give her a needed breather and she looked out the hallway. The thought soothed Nikita as she smiled at Birkoff.

"I'm going to finally get a bath... I have been reduced to quick showers... and I am going to soak in warm water for a long time..." Nikita stated and Birkoff leaned away from Nikita and started to move.

"I'll draw your bath for you..." Birkoff stated and Nikita smiled. She had never seen Birkoff like this. But then, she kind of liked it. She needed this.

~~

Nikita snuggled the warm terry cloth bathrobe around her body. Her hair was tucked up into a towel and she dreaded the thought of combing the knots out. Slowly, she padded her way out of the bathroom and into the hallway, pleased to see that it was not too cold or too hot out there.

Birkoff stepped out of her room and motioned for Nikita to walk to her room. Nikita raised an eyebrow. She had a lovely bath waiting for her when she entered the bathroom. There were bubbles and bath salts. Birkoff must have put a triple batch of the salts, as the water fizzed and popped for almost the entire forty minutes that Nikita was in the warm tub.

"I am going to have a whirlpool installed sometime in the next week... but in the meantime... You need to relax," Birkoff stated as he motioned for the room. Nikita's eyes widen as she saw the massage table there and then she looked at Birkoff.

"Nothing against you... but you aren't giving me the massage..." Nikita stated as she warned Birkoff. That would have been just too friendly and exposing. Birkoff laughed and looked out the hallway.

"Holly will be giving you the massage.... She went downstairs to warm the oil in some water because her electric heater isn't working properly..." Birkoff explained and he smiled as he waved his hand. The older woman walked in and smiled at Nikita, holding the noted oil in her hands.

"So you are the mother.... Didn't you say that the baby was only three months?" Holly asked as she could even see under the robe that Nikita showed no signs of having the baby.

"Yes... My daughter is three months..." Nikita stated as Holly moved towards the table. Birkoff turned his head as the daughter that was being spoken about started to cry. Nikita looked to the hallway and licked her lips.

"That is her hungry feed..." Nikita stated for Birkoff's benefit. He nodded his head, glad that Nikita was going to allow him to do this. He scurried down the hallway to pick up Maralah and take her downstairs.

Her mother needed to relax and Birkoff was going to allow that to happen.

~~

Nikita flipped through the trashy tabloid magazine as Birkoff entered her bedroom. She looked up and sighed. He had fed Maralah and gotten her to fall back to sleep. For the past few hours Nikita felt like she was in heaven. A peace had find Nikita's soul, knowing that she was no longer alone.

"How are you feeling?" Birkoff questioned as Nikita settled the magazine down on her legs. Nikita smiled and sighed.

"Good..." Nikita said and then she fought against a yawn. "But tired."

"You should go to sleep," Birkoff stated and Nikita nodded her head. Birkoff moved closer to Nikita and sighed for a second.

"But first... I want you to know that tomorrow... I'm not going to work," Birkoff stated and Nikita lifted an eyebrow. Birkoff had already come home early today.

"Oh? Why? Is it a holiday that I don't know?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff giggled softly. He took Nikita's hand and sighed once more.

"I have a lot of time Nikita and we need to fix our friendship," Birkoff revealed and Nikita nodded her head. She liked the sound of that.

"I'm going to let you sleep in... and make you breakfast... and we'll take Maralah out for a picnic... and then I'm going to have Linda watch Maralah while I take you out for dinner," Birkoff stated and Nikita blinked her eyes.

"That is quite a plan. Too bad that Maralah won't let me sleep in," Nikita stated with a soft laugh. She liked the vision of the day ahead. It was good to have dreams, even if they weren't meant to come true.

"Don't worry about Maralah, tonight. I will take care of her," Birkoff stated and Nikita nodded her head. She was uncertain that Birkoff could handle that, but she was going to give him the chance to do that.

"Ok... I can do that," Nikita stated as Birkoff stood up. He turned and placed a folder down on Nikita's legs, over the trash magazine.

"What's this?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff sighed.

"You might find them interesting to read.... Good night, Nikita..." Birkoff said as he slipped out of Nikita's room and closed the door. Nikita looked at the door and then to the folder that was on her legs. She wanted to know what Birkoff was up too. He was being so nice to her and she was almost afraid to see what she was reading was orders from Ryce to be nice to her or something.

Nikita leafed through the papers and opened her mouth as she saw them. They were the memos that Birkoff had written and Nikita felt the tears to her eyes. Although that Birkoff wasn't the real father, she was touched with the notion that Birkoff had done this for them.

Things were going to get easier now. At least for a while.

*

Baby food was messy.

Nikita loved it!

Her daughter was now growing faster than Nikita wanted her too. One moment, she was just a baby. Now she was a living being, doing so many things, and having endless streams of energy that wore down Nikita quickly.

Nikita watched as the two-handled sippy cup fell to the ground again and Maralah laughed happily. Nikita sighed as she picked it back up and moved to the sink to clean it off.

Maralah was a perfectly healthy five and half month old. She was active and bright. She made all sorts of noises that made no sense at all.

Nikita loved it!

Having Maralah like this now took away the problems that Nikita had with the mission again. Two weeks ago, Ryce Borjas arrived back in town and Birkoff disappeared for most days. Birkoff even admitted to Nikita that he didn't come home the one night because he was too trashed and he couldn't chance driving. Nikita nodded her head and told Birkoff to just do what he needed to do.

So for now, Maralah was the joy that Nikita had in her life. Yes, she was overdue a visit with Michael and Michael had yet to see his daughter in living form. Michael told Nikita not to fret about it, but it was something that Nikita did either way.

Birkoff had finished off the Fruity Pebbles and Nikita was not happy. Maralah had started some solid foods, mainly cereals drenched in milk. Fruity Pebbles were what Nikita had started Maralah with and she had no plans on going shopping with Maralah.

Nikita turned as she took out the last of the cereal, Kix, and walked over to the table. She placed the sippy cup in front of Maralah, which she immediately tried to put the handle in her mouth. Nikita giggled and tried to correct her daughter. Instead, Mara threw the cup up in the air and back down to the floor below, splattering the liquid this time. Nikita rolled her eyes and poured the cereal into the food and hoped that Maralah wouldn't notice that these weren't the bright colors that the other things had been.

"On Mara..." Nikita stated and the girl turned her head and smiled at Nikita. Nikita touched her black hair and smiled.

"Ok.. let's try this..." Nikita said as she dunk the one piece of the cereal and moved towards Maralah's mouth. She allowed Nikita to put it in her mouth and then closed her mouth. Nikita raised and eyebrow as she smiled and chewed on the cereal. Nikita was amazed and happy. Usually the Fruity Pebbles ended up on Maralah's bib.

"That was such a good girl, Maralah!" Nikita exclaimed as she clapped her hands. Maralah repeated her mother's motions. Nikita knew that he was a good child and was above the learning curve. Nikita smiled at her daughter.

"La...la... la... la...." Maralah stated out and Nikita sighed. It was the most common sound out of her mouth these days.

"Mama.... mama..." Nikita tried once again. Maralah looked at Nikita and then made a raspberry. Nikita shook her head. Birkoff had to have made that noise to show her how to make it.

Nikita rolled her eyes as she stood up. Her daughter started to pound on the table and Nikita sighed. She was so active these days.

"Ok... ok... ok..." Nikita stated as she picked her daughter up and out of the high chair and moved with her to the sink. She needed to be cleaned up and Nikita sighed as she looked at herself. For some reason, Nikita always ended up dirtier than Maralah.

"Mara..." Nikita sighed as she turned the girl in a flying motion towards the bathroom. Nikita held her daughter in one arm as she pulled the shirt off of her head, standing soon in her bra and her daughter ready for the dunking of a cleaning.

"La... la... la... la..." Maralah stated as she pulled at Nikita's hair. Nikita winced and pulled the hair out of the tiny fists. Of course, when the baby got the most active, Birkoff would have tied up with Ryce.

"I know... I didn't say your whole name... Maralah..." Nikita stated as she kissed her daughter's hair as again, she caught a grasp of Nikita's hair.

"La... la... la... la... la... la... la..." Maralah chortled as she tossed her hand from side to side. Nikita sighed and looked into the mirror. She was tired, but this was a good tired. She would never trade times like this for anything.

Nikita heard the door slam after she had changed Maralah's diaper, which she had gotten too bad with. She would shrill a holler from beginning to end. She tried to pull the diaper out of Nikita's hands before she got the clean one ready to go. She kicked her legs about as if there were thousands of jumping beans in each one. Nikita hated when she screamed so loud, but to Maralah, it was a fabulous game.

"Birkoff?" Nikita called out and Maralah squiggled in Nikita's arms. Birkoff was often the fun one, the one that she had been missing.

"Ba... ba... la.. la.. laba laba laba..." Maralah gurgled away as Nikita walked into the living room, knowing that she had heard the door slam. She looked around and then started up the stairs.

"Birkoff? Seymour?" Nikita called out with a worry on her voice. It sure did not match the mood of her daughter. It was time for a nap and the child looked like she was wired out on caffeine. It was when Maralah was in moods like this that Nikita would blame Michael for drinking all that coffee compulsively probably every day of his adult life.

"Go away, Nikita..." Birkoff hissed from the bathroom. Nikita looked to Maralah and then to Birkoff as he knelt at the floor.

"You've been gone for a long time, Birkoff... I am worried," Nikita stated and Birkoff turned to look at Nikita. He looked awful, but unfortunately, Nikita had seen worse on the streets.

"Ba... la... laba bala bala..." Maralah continued to gurgle out and Birkoff turned away. He dropped his head.

"Can't you see? I'm sick. Get the baby away from me!" Birkoff hissed and Nikita nodded her head and started to step back. Nikita stopped as she looked at Birkoff.

"Did you do drugs this time?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff shook his head back and forth.

"It wasn't bad drugs, Nikita! Just take care of Maralah! I'm fine!" Birkoff hissed as he turned and slammed the door on Nikita's face. She pressed her lips together and moved towards Maralah's room, content on laying her down for her nap and then finding out what was wrong with Birkoff.

~~

Nikita heard the noise behind the bathroom door. Birkoff hadn't moved out of the bathroom during the half hour that it took Nikita to settle Maralah in bed. She was sure that Maralah at the moment was not asleep, but rather kicking her feet up at the mobile that she would try to play with all night if she didn't succumb to the need for sleep.

"Birkoff?" Nikita questioned as she pushed the door open. She looked at the pale heap that was on the floor and swallowed. He looked awful.

"I've never been sick..... I'm scared..." Birkoff stated as he stared down at the toilet. Nikita winced as she looked down at the bowl. It needed flushed badly and Nikita pushed the handle down, even as Birkoff continued to stare down at it.

"It's ok, Birkoff... I'll take care of you..." Nikita stated as she looked at the bathtub and sat on the edge of it. She balanced herself carefully there as she waited for Birkoff to say something.

Instead, he continued to get sick. This time, he didn't hit the bowl. Nikita looked as the mess splattered across the room and her clothing. She didn't even blink her eyes. She was just simply glad that she had the time to put a t-shirt on before entering the bathroom.

"When did this start?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff lifted his head. His balance was thrown off and Nikita grabbed his shoulders to stop him from slamming his head into the sink. Birkoff settled himself and looked at Nikita.

"Right after I left Ryce for work.... I told them I would work at home while I battled the flu..." Birkoff stated and Nikita sighed. She stood up and pulled out the thermometer. She tried to place it under Birkoff's tongue, but it only proceeded to give Birkoff another gag response. Nikita jumped out of the way as Birkoff leaned over the toilet again.

This wasn't the flu. The flu didn't do this to Birkoff. There seemed to be no stopping what was causing Birkoff to throw up and Nikita didn't like it. She was sure that Birkoff, although he proclaimed never having been sick before, knew also that this was not the flu.

Nikita opened the cupboard again and pulled out a thermometer strip. They weren't too accurate, but Nikita had used it before on Maralah. Nikita bent down and placed it on Birkoff's forehead, glad to see that he was able to sit there and wait for it to register.

"You have a high fever..." Nikita commented as she picked up a washcloth and dampened it. She reached out and stroked it across Birkoff's head as the heat radiated off of him.

"I figured that," Birkoff stated, but he couldn't even sound sarcastic anymore. He looked scared and Nikita pressed her lips together, knowing how difficult it was to be scared of something that was going to happen either way.

"I'm going to take care of you, Birkoff," Nikita stated as she ran her hands through the growing strands of Birkoff's hair, which was drench from the fever also. Nikita had never had real health care until she got to Section One, and still now, Madeline and Michael would get upset at Nikita self-medicating herself, but she usually was right.

"I'm scared...." Birkoff whispered and Nikita nodded her head.

"Do you know where you got this?" Nikita questioned as she turned and sat back down on the lip of the tub. Birkoff still held his arms around the toilet and stared at Nikita. All of this was sort of embarrassing and Birkoff would have tried to hide if he hadn't felt so bad. He knew that he couldn't take care of himself. However, he couldn't tell Nikita everything. Right now, he was sure that he couldn't walk. Yet, he wouldn't ask for Nikita to help him to bed where he would be more comfortable.

"You think Ryce gave this to me?" Birkoff questioned as he started to rock back and forth slightly, starting to shiver. Nikita nodded her head, but Birkoff had closed his eyes. He was getting weaker just sitting there and Nikita heaved a heavy sigh.

"It's possible... of course, I wouldn't have a clue why..." Nikita issued out as she stood up. A bathroom was not a place for Birkoff to go to sleep at. Nikita first started to take Birkoff's fingers off of the toilet.

"I can't go! I must stay here," Birkoff argued as he started to struggle again Nikita. Nikita leaned her head back and sighed heavily. This was not good. Birkoff though, at least got the point that Nikita felt that this was not a good place to be.

"Birkoff, you need to go to bed.... I'll get a bucket... It is much easier than staying in this cool and drafty bathroom," Nikita stated and Birkoff coughed as he nodded his head. He could do that and he soon had himself up on his knees.

Nikita was turning to steady him while Birkoff felt the surge of his stomach once more. All Nikita could do was close her eyes as Birkoff missed the toilet entirely. Nikita tried to ignore everything and hold Birkoff as he trembled.

This time Birkoff's eyes were closed. Nikita patted his cheeks softly and saw that he had passed out, which was a blessing. She pulled the washcloth over and wiped his mouth and soon noticed that she was going to have to change Birkoff before putting him to bed. She already knew that she was going to have to change herself.

~~

Nikita walked into the bathroom with the pail of bleach water and looked around. Birkoff was asleep, after waking up and coughing for five minutes. He looked awful and wouldn't go to the doctor or the hospital, as Nikita stated he should. Birkoff told Nikita that he trusted her. Nikita pealed off her own shirt and looked at the mess. She didn't even bother keeping the shirt. She tossed it into the garbage and went to work on cleaning the floors.

The yawn stopped Nikita's work for two seconds, but she just continued to work. It would only get worse in the bathroom if she didn't clean up now. She scrubbed the floor until it sparkled. Nikita stepped out of the bathroom to get some fresh air and could feel the fumes of the bleach in her head. Nikita placed a hand out on the wall and looked towards Birkoff's room.

"Nikita!" Birkoff bellowed out and Nikita threw the cloth into the pail. She moved down the hallway and was in Birkoff's room when she heard Maralah crying.

She hoped that Maralah didn't get whatever it was that Birkoff had.

Nikita knew that she should call Section One, but that didn't happen. Birkoff said that he couldn't bother them with it. Nikita felt this was something that Ryce gave to Birkoff and he needed to be tested. Nikita didn't want to think what would happen if this wasn't over in a couple days. She couldn't do her profiles, Birkoff's work for the firm and Ryce, take care of Maralah and take care of Birkoff for an extended time.

Nikita entered the room with Birkoff and he turned his head to the side.

"Why are you so good to me?" Birkoff questioned as Nikita immediately mopped the sweat off of his forehead.

"Because you are my friend..." Nikita stated and Birkoff settled a bit. He heard Maralah crying off in the distance and he closed his eyes.

"I'll be fine," Birkoff stated, although both of them knew he wouldn't be at this moment. Nikita nodded her head. She really did need to get to Maralah, to make sure she was fine.

Nikita could do this. She was positive. As long as no one else got sick and Section One didn't call her back for a mission.

*

The coffee was cold as Nikita turned from the computer screen. Yet, she did not dare move out of the room. All was quiet in the house after four days of sickness ruling the world that Nikita lived in. She rolled her head to the side and pulled up a piece of paper that she had written her 'to do' list. She was able to finally scratch off the work that she had completed for Birkoff.

Now all that she had left was the overdue mission profiles that Madeline was e-mailing her reminders every hour about. Nikita hunched forward as she stared at the words. It was usually at times like this that either Birkoff or Maralah would call for her attention.