The sun was warm as Nikita tucked the blanket closer to Maralah's chin as she stepped out of the car. Her body screamed out in pain as Nikita allowed a smile paint her face. Her daughter was so small and such a blessing. Nikita almost jumped as Birkoff's hand wrapped around her waist and guided her up the sidewalk and to the porch.

Nikita winced with each step. She knew that childbirth was a miracle, but thought that it would never hurt this much afterwards. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this bad. Even when she had worked her body down into exhaustion after finding out about the mission, she did not feel pain like this. At times, it threatened Nikita's vision, although she knew that she would never allow herself to get lost in the pain while holding her daughter.

"You poor thing... I can't believe that after 30 hours of labor that they couldn't keep you for another day!" Linda exclaimed loudly, which did nothing to help the pounding headache Nikita hid from everyone. Linda had decided that she was needed to get the small family settled in the house. She was there from the moment Nikita got up this morning.

Nikita hated her.

"Well... Maralah had to come some way..." Nikita whispered as she smiled down at her daughter. Just looking at her daughter made all the pain all right. It didn't get rid of the pain, but it made it all right to have the pain.

'Where did you get that name?" Linda questioned as she opened the door for Nikita, as if Nikita couldn't do anything for herself. Yes, Nikita was in pain, but she sure didn't want Linda acting like she couldn't do anything.

"It's an Indian name," Birkoff stated as he moved into the living room, taking Nikita's free hand with his to lead her to the couch. Birkoff knew that all Nikita wanted to do was go upstairs, feed Maralah, and place her in the cradle that was there, but there was company. Linda could not be neglected. She was part of the mission, no matter how much Nikita hated her at the moment.

"An Indian name? But you two aren't Indian!" Linda exclaimed and Nikita smiled at her daughter and smiled. The truth was, Nikita had no clue what she was. She just knew that she was pale skinned. She rubbed her daughter's face as Maralah waved her fists around. Nikita didn't know if she was exactly happy, but she wasn't crying.

"It doesn't matter, Linda. I liked the name," Nikita stated as she lifted her head to focus her eyes on Linda. Nikita gave a soft smile and the issue was dropped.

"Let me hold her. You must be tired," Linda stated as she stood up and reached down for the baby. Nikita had just settled on the couch and was quite comfortable the way she was right now. Nikita looked at Linda and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm quite happy Linda. I can hold her," Nikita stated and Linda rolled her eyes in front of Nikita. Nikita felt her heart drop. She wanted Michael to be here and she was tempted to burst into tears, but that would only give Linda more power to do what she wanted with Nikita's baby.

The doorbell rang and Nikita dropped her head to her daughter as she gave a soft cry in protest. Nikita rubbed her chin softly with her fingertip, stopping the loud cries before they happened. Nikita smiled. She couldn't believe that she had learned that about her daughter so quickly.

"That's my good girl... Mara... Mara..." Nikita stated and Birkoff moved his hand away from Nikita. He stared at Linda as the doorbell rang again.

"I guess I'll get it," Birkoff stated with a huff of air. He stood up as Linda would not leave Nikita be. Nikita was shaky enough with her worries about the baby when Linda wasn't around, but Linda was bound to make Nikita paranoid. Birkoff didn't need that and would take drastic moves if Linda didn't change her ways yet. It would have been nice if Linda could have thought for a second to get the door.

Birkoff opened the door and blinked his eyes as Ryce Borjas stood there with roses and a teddy bear. He smiled and Birkoff and looked pulled out a slender box of very expensive Cuban cigars.

"Now, don't go smoking those around the baby..." Ryce joked out as Birkoff allowed his boss in. Birkoff felt his stomach churning. It was his wish to get Nikita and Maralah home and settled before having to deal with any of this.

"I was going to visit at the hospital, but Linda told me that they were sending your wife home today, I decided to come here.... Where are they?" Ryce questioned and Birkoff turned and walked towards the living room. Nikita looked up at the target and swallowed. Birkoff reached down and scooped Maralah out of Nikita's arms. He was protective. He didn't want Linda holding her yet.

"These are for you... Thirty-one roses... a rose for every hour you were in labor... And for Maralah... a teddy bear," Ryce stated as he handed Nikita the roses and then the teddy bear. Nikita smiled and looked around. She didn't want to get up to get water, but she sure didn't want to ask Linda. It was quite clear that Linda only wanted to help out with the baby.

"I better put these in water..." Nikita stated as she started to move up off the couch. She winced as she tried to rock forward and up. Birkoff watched as Ryce placed his hands on Nikita's shoulders and looked at Linda.

"Linda... why don't you get some water and a vase for Nikita. She shouldn't be out of the hospital, let alone doing small task labor," Ryce stated as he smiled at Linda. Linda merely nodded her head and moved out of the room. Nikita looked to Birkoff and reached for her daughter.

"Mara... your mommy got you..." Nikita whispered as she looked at her daughter and soon forgot about the other three people in the room.

~~

Birkoff walked into the kitchen with Ryce behind him. Right now, in the house, there was no den of sorts. Birkoff knew that the bedroom that Nikita used would be moved into a den soon enough, but for now, Birkoff had no other private place to take Ryce.

"What is so important that you had to come see me today?" Birkoff questioned Ryce as he moved to the refrigerator and pulled out the soup that Nikita had prepared for this day. Birkoff turned and saw Ryce smiling.

"Your daughter is beautiful. She looks just like you," Ryce stated and Birkoff looked towards the living room as he smiled slightly. He was sort of worried about Maralah's eyes. Sometimes they were such a vivid green that it was odd. Now, they appeared gray which was okay. Birkoff smiled and nodded his head.

"I know... but I wish she would have looked more like Nikita..." Birkoff stated and Ryce smiled.

"Oh, she'll have Nikita's body. And then you'll have a knock out on your hands to worry about," Ryce stated and Birkoff nodded his head. He moved to the rack of dishes and pulled out a pot and poured the soup into it. Ryce stopped Birkoff's hand and looked at the young man.

"Our deal still is on. You work for me... Is that clear?" Ryce stated and Birkoff nodded his head as his other hand, the one holding the soup started to shake. Ryce laughed as he poured the soup for Birkoff and stepped away.

"I understand that," Birkoff said and Ryce smiled and slapped Birkoff on the back.

"Now is the perfect time to get some power over your wife... She feels low... she feels big and bloated... You can cause her not to be beautiful... and she could be happy that way..." Ryce stated and Birkoff merely nodded his head. That wasn't going to happen. Birkoff knew that Section One would demand more of Nikita sooner than he would like.

"I want you to come away with me this weekend..." Ryce stated and Birkoff's mouth dropped.

"Nikita just gave birth to our child! She is weak!" Birkoff stated out firmly and Ryce shook his head. He slapped Birkoff once more and grinned.

"But she is no good to you yet... her body is all stretched out... And Linda is probably going to make this house her second home. Plus, you are late with some reports," Ryce stated out as he narrowed his eyes. The happiness and soft jokes that had been on Ryce's lips slipped away as he stared at Birkoff. Now the coldness came.

"I could always cause something to happen," Ryce threatened and Birkoff trembled. Maralah was only a day old and already she was stuck in the middle of this horrible mission and this horrible man.

"Ok... I'll go if nothing is wrong with Nikita," Birkoff stated and Ryce nodded his head and smiled. He looked to the other room and sighed.

"And I wouldn't expect you to go if she is truly sick. But your wife is too strong. I see it and I sure how you can see it," Ryce stated as he moved out of the kitchen. Birkoff dropped his head down and looked at the soup. He found it hard to even think about eating now, but knew if he didn't eat that Nikita wouldn't eat.

"I'm sure when Maralah is older she'll love the teddy bear!" Nikita's voice drifted in from the living room. Birkoff blinked back his own tears. This was hard and difficult on Nikita, being separated from Maralah's real father. It must hurt Nikita to know that her daughter wasn't going to have her father with her everyday. It must hurt Nikita to rely upon someone else other than Michael.

Birkoff poured the soup into the pot as he heard Ryce commented about the bear again. Birkoff lifted his head and jerked it to the side. He was sure that once Ryce left he would find a bug there. He didn't need anything threatening this mission. Now it has shifted from being a year until however long it could be done safely.

~~

"I'll be leaving in the morning," Birkoff whispered as he stepped out of the master bedroom to find Nikita walking up and down the hallway with Maralah in her arms. The young baby was asleep, but it was clear that Nikita needed to hold her for a bit longer.

"I can't believe he tried to bug us," Nikita stated out with a hiss. Birkoff blinked his eyes. He knew that he shouldn't have mentioned it to Nikita, but he had. She was now always checking everything. The paranoid personality that Birkoff was afraid that Nikita was going to get from Linda's presence had presented itself from Ryce.

"Are you sure you are ok?" Birkoff questioned as he placed a hand on Nikita's shoulder. She nodded her head and moved back into the nursery. Nikita had now moved into another one of the rooms upstairs, right next to the nursery. The first night, Birkoff found Nikita in the room with Maralah and he was sure that Nikita spent most of the nights in that room.

Birkoff stepped back into the master bedroom. It was clear that Nikita just didn't want to think about anything right now or talk about anything right now. She had vetoed the ideal of Linda coming into the house and helping her out. Nikita even stated that she would rather have Madeline move in as a nanny before Linda came into her house in that sort of role.

It was an opinion that Birkoff concurred with. Madeline was going to stop by with dinner tomorrow, which would hopefully give Nikita a break. Not that Nikita was showing a need for needing the break. She was bitterly independent, trying to do everything for the baby herself. Birkoff was only minimally allowed to do anything for the baby and that often occurred when Nikita was simply too tired.

However, Birkoff didn't want to just leave Nikita with Maralah. Nikita had a whole lot of support while she gave birth to Maralah, but that support had now vanished. Even though Birkoff spent the last two days at work, he came home for lunch and went in late. He had made sure not to leave Nikita alone for long.

And this was just the beginning. Ryce yesterday stated that this was not a trip to replace the one in ten days. Birkoff would be gone that time for six days. It was vastly unfair to Nikita and Maralah, but it was what Section One demanded that Birkoff did in order for the mission.

Not that anything that Birkoff had done thus far was illegal. Everything was legit, but he knew that it was likely just a test for him. Ryce was threatening him just to do a good job.

Birkoff turned back and walked towards the nursery. Maralah was sound asleep as Birkoff tipped toed in and then he turned around when he saw the absence of Nikita. He quickly moved into the room that Nikita had taken over and moved her things into. Nikita was leaning on the desk, crying.

"Nikita..." Birkoff whispered as he moved closer to Nikita and touched her arm. She pulled her head up and shook her head back and forth.

"This isn't what it looks like," Nikita stated as she pushed her fingers below her eyes, trying to get rid of the evidence. Birkoff looked at Nikita and sat down on her bed. The room was so much smaller than the room downstairs, but Birkoff knew that Nikita needed to be near her daughter.

"Nikita... just talk to me. It is ok to miss, Michael," Birkoff stated and Nikita looked at Birkoff and shook her head. She didn't know where to start. She knew what Ryce was going to offer Birkoff this weekend and what he was going to have to do. Birkoff didn't seem to know it yet, but Nikita knew that a lady or two would grace the bed next to him.

Nikita wasn't jealous. She was utterly alone. She knew that she should be basking in the joy of having her daughter, to hold and laugh with, but it wasn't enough. Nikita missed Michael more than any word could express and now she was being deserted. She was afraid of what might happen and what if she made a mistake. No one worried about those things. They just assumed that she would be fine.

And then Madeline sent her work.

"I am just tired," Nikita stated and Birkoff raised his eyebrows and looked at Nikita closer. He knew without looking that Nikita wasn't getting enough sleep. She was up at least four times a night with Maralah, if not more, as she wouldn't allow Birkoff to help out. He tried, but she wouldn't allow him too.

"Nikita... we have tried to give you ways to rest. You are the one that turned them down," Birkoff commented and Nikita shook her head back and forth quickly.

"That isn't the tiredness! I want to be back inside of Section! I want to do things! I want to be the one that has to go out! I'm just the forgotten person..." Nikita stated and she turned to the screen and punched at the keys.

"This is who I am!" Nikita shouted as she pointed to the screen. There was a list of files that needed to be completed. Birkoff shook his head. He couldn't believe the utter gull of Madeline at this point. Madeline, who knew that Nikita needed rest and sleep above all things. Madeline, who knew that Nikita was still battling the post birth blues and being separated from Michael. Madeline, who knew that Nikita's medical conditions continued to linger and she wasn't allowed to eat any diary foods as it made Maralah sick. He couldn't believe the gull of Madeline. At all.

"Just go!" Nikita hissed as she pointed to the door. Birkoff dropped his head. Nikita thought she had all the answers in the world. And for her, she did.

The mission just got hairy and Birkoff didn't know what was next.

*

The bag seemed so heavy as Birkoff trudged up the stairs. It was only a few weeks ago that he walked up the same stairs into the house with Nikita's baby. Birkoff dropped his eyes as he turned his head to the side.

He wasn't damn proud about his behavior in the past few weeks. It was for the sake of the mission. It was because Ryce Borjas was threatening Nikita and Maralah. But he felt every inch of the cheating husband that Ryce Borjas forced him into being.

It was supposed to free Birkoff from the chains of Nikita's beauty. It was supposed to make Birkoff the dominant one. All it was doing was given Ryce enough information to hold over Birkoff's head with his supposed wife for years and years to come.

If he lasted that long.

Birkoff opened the door with his keys and looked at the house. It was so quiet. It almost bothered Birkoff as he dropped the bags near the door and looked around. It was early evening and Birkoff looked around the downstairs. It was quite clear that Nikita didn't hear him enter, which meant that she was upstairs.

He wanted to call out, to make sure he didn't meet a gun to his face, but he didn't, not wanting to wake up the baby if she was asleep. Birkoff started up the stairs, rubbing his hand across his growing beard. It was a by-product of something else Ryce introduced into the mix about four days ago.

Drugs.

"Nikita?" Birkoff called out as he reached the top of the stairs. He saw her bedroom door was closed, but saw that the baby was in her cradle. Birkoff smiled, feeling his heart growing once again. He felt so much better seeing the girl and knowing that she was all right.

"Maralah... you have gotten so big..." Birkoff exclaimed as he looked down at the little girl. Her eyes were glowing green as she stared up at him. Birkoff swore that she smiled as she threw her hands up in the air. Birkoff smiled and picked her up carefully like Nikita and Madeline made sure to teach him to do correct.

"And heavy..." Birkoff commented with a smile. He turned around in a circle and started to rock the girl.

Her hair was growing so fast. Birkoff saw that for the most part, it was straight and dark. Dark like Michael and straight like Nikita. She was such an interesting mix of Michael and Nikita. Her ears, although no one really paid attention to them, were carbon copies of Nikita's, as was the high cheekbones. Everything else, the eyebrows, the nose, the eyes, and yes, even most of the mouth, was Michael's. It had to be difficult for Nikita to look down at her daughter and see the man she wanted to be with.

"That's what happens when you are gone for so long," Nikita commented as she spied Birkoff with her daughter. He turned around and smiled at Nikita. He moved to his sports jacket, which he had tossed on the baby changing station, and pulled out a rattle.

Nikita smiled as Birkoff shook the rattle in front of Maralah. She didn't cry and Nikita was so proud. It didn't mean that her daughter didn't cry. She cried almost every hour on the hour during the night. It was exhausting Nikita quickly.

"She got so big..." Birkoff stated as he turned to finally look at Nikita. He blinked his eyes. Nikita had gotten so thin. Nikita smiled and looked at her daughter.

"She likes you... At least she remembers you," Nikita commented as she moved out of the nursery. Birkoff didn't know how to take that statement. Either it was something against him, feeling that he should have been able to control the situation with Ryce Borjas more, not allowing him to drag Birkoff away from the family for such a long time, or it was a shot about Michael.

Birkoff circled around with Maralah. Now she was crying. It had to be in direct relationship to how Nikita left. Birkoff picked up the rattle and shook it once more, trying to divert Maralah's attention.

"Oh... Maralah... be a good girl... shh... shh... Are you sleepy?" Birkoff questioned as he shifted Maralah to the other side of his body. She settled almost immediately and started to blink her green eyes rapidly. She was fighting sleep as he had seen Nikita do before. Slowly, the baby lost to the sleep and Birkoff settled her down easily in the cradle.

Birkoff was about to leave the room when he turned and looked to the floor. There was a heavy set of weights. Birkoff turned and walked out into the hallway. There was only one person who would use them in the house and Birkoff wanted to know why they were in the baby's room.

"Nikita?" Birkoff called out and Nikita turned around as she pointed to the phone. She finished her conversation quickly as Birkoff took stock of her clothing. She was wearing tennis shoes and a jogging suit.

"Why are there weights in Maralah's room?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita dropped her eyes. Slowly she twisted her hands and looked at Birkoff.

"Look, I was going to go out for a couple hours... and Linda was going to baby sit... But since you are home..." Nikita stated and Birkoff blinked his eyes. Now, Nikita was trying to avoid the conversation, which was just not going to work out that easily. He placed his hands on his hips and blocked the doorway.

"Is this so you can go for a run?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita looked to Birkoff. For a second, she allowed her anger to flare. If Maralah weren't asleep in the next room, Nikita probably would have yelled him. God knows she had enough anger that never got vented any longer that needed to get out.

Instead, Nikita dropped to her bed with the scolding tears rolling down her face. Birkoff moved towards her instantly, which Nikita did not want. She did not want his pity. Somehow, Nikita realized that what she was going through now was just one of the pitfalls of being a mother inside of Section One.

"You have lost so much weight, Nikita. How is this healthy?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita looked at Birkoff and shook her head. How she wished she had control over how she took the weight off! Nikita just wished for once that Section One could have just let her be for a couple days.

"When Madeline came over... during that first time you were gone, she told me what Section One expected to see me in two months, Birkoff. They expect me to be performing at mission standards. I was told that there will be times that Madeline will baby sit so I can go on missions," Nikita stated as she rubbed her arms. Birkoff's mouth opened up wide. What they were asking Nikita was terrible. He didn't understand all things about the woman's body, but the weight shouldn't have just disappeared off of Nikita.

"But the baby... are you still breastfeeding?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita smiled and nodded her head.

"It's when I feel the closest to her, Birkoff... I didn't give that up. I just make sure I eat big meals... and then I work out whenever I get a chance..." Nikita stated and Birkoff nodded his head. He looked into Nikita's eyes and realized that what Madeline and Operations wanted from Nikita was going to be extremely difficult.

For over nine months, Nikita hasn't trained at all. The last time she did trained, she had people to spar with and decent equipment. There was no way that Nikita could use computer equipment inside the house. This was going to be more than difficult on Nikita.

"And what about Maralah?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita closed her eyes. Birkoff was implying that Nikita wasn't a good enough mother right now. Her eyes flared once more as she clenched her fists. Birkoff inched away as Nikita took a deep breath. She was controlling herself, but Birkoff realized how close it was for Nikita to do something drastic.

"Don't ever ask me how I am doing as a mother while you were out for seven days probably jumping from lady to lady!" Nikita hissed out in a low tone. Birkoff winced. It was something that he surely wasn't proud of and he dropped his head. Nikita stood up and sighed heavily.

"Look...I'm going for a run.. outside of town so no one finds out... I'll be back and we'll play with Maralah before I have to feed her," Nikita stated as she hurried up and out of the room. Birkoff stared at Nikita and swallowed.

Now this was something that he was scared of. Although Maralah should sleep the entire time that Nikita was gone, he was home alone with the baby.

~~

Walter ran down the hallway as the telephone was shrilling on his desk. The last time that phone rang it was with the announcement that Nikita had finally gone in labor. Walter was sure that everything was quiet on that front, so his heart started to pound as he opened the phone up.

"Walter?" Birkoff questioned and Walter sighed. Birkoff didn't sound too worried at this point. He wasn't screaming, which meant that Nikita and Maralah were doing ok and there was no emergency.

"Hey, buddy. How is the baby? Getting big right?" Walter questioned, as he wanted to know everything about the baby. Michael had gotten a digital picture of Maralah three days ago, which he proudly kept on his desk. Walter snuck into the office several times a day just to look at that picture.

"Yeah.. yeah... getting big..." Birkoff sighed quite dejectedly. Walter looked around and pulled a stool up. He had a feeling that Birkoff just wasn't doing so well right now and needed some support.

"What is it Birkoff?" Walter questioned. Walter received a heavy sigh to start the reply. Walter licked his lips and looked around the office once again. He couldn't wait for the answer, but he also knew that he couldn't push for it either.

"Well.. two things... First is what the hell is Madeline doing?" Birkoff questioned as he expressed a deep anger. Walter was sure that he never heard Birkoff say hell before in his entire life and that was a long time. Walter blinked his eyes. He didn't know that Madeline was doing anything but visiting everyone once in a while.

"I don't know what you are talking about. I know that she gave Michael a picture of Maralah and Michael asked for a picture of Nikita with Maralah..." Walter began to explain.

"NO! NO! NO! What the hell is Madeline doing making Nikita lose all the weight immediately and working out whenever she isn't feeding or tending to Maralah?" Birkoff shouted back and then he became very quite. Walter was sure that now Birkoff was afraid that he was going to wake up the baby.

"I'm going to check the baby..." Birkoff stated as Walter blinked his eyes. It gave Walter time to process what Birkoff had just revealed. If Madeline said something as Birkoff suggested, Walter couldn't imagine how Nikita was going to take it. She was a woman who struggled to maintain whatever self-esteem she did have. Most of that self-esteem disappeared during the pregnancy.

"Ok.. Maralah is still sleeping," Birkoff declared and Walter sighed. He could tell that Birkoff was deeply afraid that Maralah would wake up and start crying.

"Birkoff... it has to be some sort of test..." Walter stated and he heard the short snort on Birkoff's end. It was something that Birkoff had already figured out.

"Does Michael know?" Birkoff questioned and Walter sighed. He was sure that Birkoff didn't want to hear how that relationship was going now.

"Things have been really quiet between Michael and Nikita... I think Nikita is really hurting and missing Michael... She was supposed to go see him yesterday with the baby... but begged off..." Walter stated and Birkoff closed his eyes. This wasn't good at all. Michael needed to see Maralah as much as Nikita needed to see Michael.

"This is going so bad so quickly," Birkoff stated, indicating that he was moving off of Nikita for the moment. Walter pressed his lips together and swallowed.

"You are talking about your trip," Walter issued out. He knew that it had to be the truth. Madeline had hinted around at the beginning that Ryce would take Birkoff out, but Walter was sure that Madeline didn't have a clear picture of what Ryce was doing to change Birkoff.

"I know that I'm not married to Nikita... but I feel like I am... and therefore... I feel terrible cheating on her..." Birkoff revealed and Walter nodded his head. This was not what Madeline had expected either.

"You got to stick in there, Birkoff. Madeline and Michael don't have the resources here yet to bring Maralah in. Operations will send the baby girl away right now.

"I know... but Walter... Does Madeline know that he likes to use drugs in his games?" Birkoff hissed and Walter's eyes perked up. Now this was something that he hadn't heard about. He grabbed a pen and made a note to himself.

"Look, Birkoff... I'm gong to pass that onto Madeline... I'm going to be sending you a package out to the house... You want to get it and read the directions... It will help counter those things..." Walter stated out as he pulled the paper off the tablet and started to walk around. He moved to Michael's office and placed the note on Michael's desk. He didn't even wait for Michael's reaction.

"Ok... I will do that..." Birkoff said as Maralah started to cry in the background. He heard Birkoff mutter another swear word and close the line. Walter walked towards Madeline's office and found it empty.

He would wait. He had a few choice words to tell Madeline.

~~

Nikita shook her hair back as she sat on the back porch. She heard Maralah finally settling upstairs and Nikita felt guilt wash her body. She had hurried her feeding with the girl and dashed back outside. She just needed to get outside. Inside, she felt like she couldn't breath.

This wasn't how mothers were supposed to feel. Their first few weeks should be about learning who their child was and what made that child special. It was about spending time with the father and holding the baby for hours, fussing over whom it looked most like. Nikita felt like she was doing everything wrong and nothing right.

The tears were pouring out of Nikita's eyes. She was so tired. She never got the rest to make up from what she lost during the hours and hours of labor. She even woke up during the night with nightmares that she was still in labor. It had traumatized her, but no one seemed to care.

Linda was helpful, but she never seemed to care about how Nikita was doing. All of her questions were about Maralah and how the baby was doing. No one cared about Nikita and Linda often made Nikita feel incomplete as a mother. Nikita would go to sleep telling herself that she was a good mother, but often, it was when Linda was around that Nikita got the feeling that she was a bad mother.

During Nikita's few breaks, Nikita did have the chance to read some stories on the internet about mothers when they went home. They had dreams and that was what Nikita wanted.

She also wanted a nanny. But not a nanny for Maralah, a nanny for herself.

Birkoff slipped out onto the back porch, after settling Maralah down. The girl was basically good and only reacted mostly when something was wrong with Nikita. Now being back for a few hours, Birkoff had more time to realize what Nikita was going through.

"Do you want the good news?" Birkoff questioned as he moved out onto the back porch. He didn't want to go sit next to Nikita if she didn't want him there. Nikita looked over her shoulder at Birkoff and then back up at the stars. She didn't say go away or get, so Birkoff moved closer to her. If Maralah started to cry again, it would easily be heard out here.

"I don't go with Ryce on another business function for two months," Birkoff stated and Nikita looked to the side and then back to the stars. She didn't speak. She was almost afraid of what she would say.

"Why did you cancel on Michael?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita dropped her head. She didn't need to think about that now. She wanted to see Michael so badly, but she wanted to see him in order to run away. She wanted someone to take care of her and Nikita knew that Michael would do that if she asked him too.

But the mission was starting to get hot. Nikita had to wean herself off of Michael, as she needed to face the reality of this meeting. Birkoff and Nikita couldn't destroy every tracker that comes into the house. Nikita was scared that soon the life of pretending was going to be the only life she could think of having.

"Birkoff... I'm tired..." Nikita stated and Birkoff nodded his head and touched Nikita's hands.

"Then go to sleep," Birkoff stated and Nikita closed her eyes. She looked up at the stars and felt the gasp and the moan in her chest. Birkoff looked at her with concern and swallowed. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"I have nightmares of the labor... I have nightmares of losing Maralah..." Nikita admitted and Birkoff gasped. That wasn't good at all. Nikita was best if she was focusing on the near and the future. Nikita when she drifted too long on thoughts about the past started to have problems.

"Nikita... you have Maralah... and she is healthy. That is all that matters," Birkoff stated and Nikita tried to nod her head.

"And I have Linda.... She asked me about the middle name Samuelle..." Nikita stated as she rocked back on her legs and then back forwards. She stared up at the stars and Birkoff saw the tears on Nikita's face. It hurt Nikita not to be able to name her child after the real father. She was even given a fake last name just to make the mission look right.

"It doesn't matter. Linda doesn't matter, Nikita..." Birkoff stated as he squeezed Nikita's hand. She leaned back once again and then stood to leave.

"I better get some sleep... Mara is going to want fed soon enough..." Nikita stated and Birkoff parted his mouth to speak. Nothing came out. He stared as Nikita moved back into the house, leaving him out in the dark.

*

Birkoff looked at the desk that was in front of him and then the clock. It was almost time to go for the day and he had finally sat down to do the work of the firm. Ryce was keeping him busy unlike anything that Birkoff had gotten used to being on this mission. He had long forgotten the long hours of setting at one desk for Section One, watching the computer screens flicker and flash, most of the time, with nothing interesting.

Birkoff noticed the flashing light on his voice mail. He looked at it and dropped his head. He knew that it was most likely Linda, inquiring about the reports that were yet again, late. Birkoff still didn't know how he went from computer genius to someone that had to turn in reports. That was something that Birkoff mentioned to Ryce and he said that it would be taken care of.

Something else was going to be taken care of first, but Birkoff didn't know of the storm that was heading his way. He didn't even know that the light that was flashing for his voice mail would indicate to Birkoff of some forty messages that Nikita left for him in various stages of mild worry, to panic, and then to anger.

Nikita stepped out of the car and opened up the back door. She pulled out her sick daughter and swallowed. One part of her mind told her to take the baby back home and have this discussion with Birkoff later. Another part of Nikita said that she needed to do this in order to continue this mission, in a slower manner. Nikita made sure the blanket was around Maralah carefully, even though it was an extremely warm day. Nikita wasn't going to take any more chances.

The security guard opened the door as he smiled at her. Nikita smiled back and looked around. Instantly, Linda appeared. Like clockwork. Only thing time, Nikita needed Linda's assistance.

"Oh... Maralah!" Linda stated and Nikita smiled. She hated when everyone greeted them in that manner. It was like Nikita was insignificant and just some accessory to hold the baby. Nikita shifted her arms as Maralah protested softly. Nikita had a feeling that Maralah didn't like this woman just like Nikita did.

"Are you busy?" Nikita questioned and Linda immediately shook her head back and forth. She was never too busy to do something with or for Maralah. Something that Nikita was about to use often when push came to shove and Birkoff was off with Ryce somewhere.

"No... Why?" Linda questioned and Nikita looked up the stairs. She had business to take care of herself.

"Can you watch her while I have a talk with my husband? She has an ear infection and I just want him to know," Nikita questioned and Linda nodded her head as she immediately started to stretch her arms. Nikita shifted the baby and watched as Linda stared at her body. Nikita knew that Linda felt that how Nikita lost weight was unhealthy. Nikita had shrugged that statement off, but Linda was constantly monitoring how Nikita looked.

Nikita dropped that thought and focused on the stairs. She was not going to be nice with Birkoff. Nice had drifted a way a long time ago. She had to make phone calls to the doctors and she had to take a crying Maralah all by herself. Nikita swore in her head while the doctor explained that Maralah had an ear infection that Birkoff was going to hurt for making Nikita do this all by herself. Nikita worried that it was something more and was almost ready to drive four hours to Dr. Kindles.

The steps were a blur for Nikita. She quickly jogged up them without a heavy breath of air. She stared down the hallway at the office that Birkoff now had. It was an office that Nikita now hated with a passion. It would give them no privacy.

That was the point.

Birkoff looked at his reports as he heard a heavy sigh from the doorway. He turned and jumped as Nikita entered and closed the door behind her. From living with Nikita for such a long time, Birkoff knew from Nikita's body language alone that something was wrong and he was going to hear at least some yelling.

He never expected that some of it would be directed at him. Let alone, most of it directed to him.

"Seymour," Nikita dragged out as she placed her hands on her hips. She watched as Birkoff moved his eyes to the chair, wanting Nikita to sit down. She merely tossed her hair to the other side and smiled at Birkoff bitterly.

"Didn't you check your messages?" Nikita questioned as she moved towards the desk and saw the blinking light. It was quite clear that Birkoff had decided to work on the reports that were scattered on his desk before thinking to check his messages.

"I haven't gotten around to it, darling," Birkoff stated as he placed a hand on Nikita's arm. He was scared of this behavior from Nikita. He didn't even think to ask where Maralah was as Nikita was making Birkoff's stomach flip and churn.

"So I am just forgotten... like your daughter too," Nikita hissed as she backed away from the desk. She stared out of the glass windows, noticing the people that were stopping to watch them. Of course Nikita didn't let her eyes contact with any of them, but she was taking a pool of who was there and who wasn't. Linda had followed Nikita up the stairs and the King himself, Ryce was watching also.

"Nikita... I worry about you two. What has brought this on?" Birkoff questioned as he stood up and tried to move towards Nikita. Nikita sidestepped Birkoff and looked away from him. She felt the tears starting at her face. She didn't know where the line was here, how much of this was an act and how much of this was true.

"Maralah was sick... and I needed your help!" Nikita stated and Birkoff's eyes opened up wide. He winced, as he knew that Nikita was going to unleash hell on him now.

"I was at a meeting, Nikita... Is Maralah ok?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita whirled around and shook her head back and forth, allowing her body to be one with the anger.

"I don't care if you were at a meeting, Seymour! I needed you!" Nikita screamed as she started to move closer to Birkoff. She looked at him and then turned away. Slowly, she turned back towards him and finally slapped him in the arm. Birkoff held the arm, but deep down, he knew that it could have hurt much more than it already did.

"You are never home! Maralah is not even two months old and you haven't spent an entire night with me and her!" Nikita shouted as she pushed her hands through her hair. She looked off to the side and gasped for air, as she was screaming so intensely.

"Nikita...." Birkoff stated as he again, tried to touch her, but Nikita pulled away.

"What if something else was wrong than just an ear infection, Seymour! Do you know how nervous I was driving by myself as all I wanted to do was be in the backseat with Maralah, holding her as she cried loudly!" Nikita continued and Birkoff closed his eyes. He knew now that he had failed Nikita and Maralah more than he had been thinking that he had.

He wasn't married to Nikita, but he did feel a responsibility to Nikita. They had spoken about the mission and Birkoff was sure that Nikita understood that he had to do this for the mission. But this was something more than Nikita. This was about her daughter and how inadequate Nikita was feeling right now.

"It was just an ear infection... thank god..." Birkoff stated as he thought of what to say. He didn't know what to say. Nikita clearly had the power in this situation and was planning on yelling until her point got across.

"LIKE YOU CARE SEYMOUR! An ear infection is serious for a baby that isn't even two months old! I needed you there and you weren't anywhere to be found! You didn't even answer your pager!" Nikita screamed and Birkoff winced. He didn't answer that because Ryce told him not to, that it was just Nikita trying to nag him.

"I'm sorry, Nikita... I'll answer it next time..." Birkoff responded quickly as the tears fell down his face. The actual thought that something was wrong with Maralah was sickening. He couldn't believe that he had listened to Ryce over something that could have been more important than his playing with some girls. Nikita had a right to be upset at him.

"Oh... so I should just forgive you for everything else? I should forget about all the dinners I have made so that I might get a chance to talk to you. I should forget about going back to work myself so I can stay home all the time and tend to Maralah. I should forget about anything that might remotely make me happy!" Nikita continued as the tears flowed down her face. Birkoff stopped moving and observed Nikita. He saw Nikita's movements and saw a Nikita that was much like the Nikita when she found out that she was pregnant. She was erratic and her behavior was everywhere. She must have been scared. And badly.

"You have to give me a chance, Nikita," Birkoff whispered as he listened to the drowning silence in which Nikita paced back and forth. She couldn't even look into his eyes. She looked at him and swallowed. The tears didn't stop and neither did the tears.

"Why? So you can hurt me again, Seymour? You get to come here! You have people who know you as Seymour. I am merely Maralah's mother!" Nikita hissed out and Birkoff closed his eyes. The emotions washed over him like hot lave. He hadn't been able to pay attention to Nikita as Nikita since the baby was born. Ryce started immediately at that point demanding more from him. Birkoff was getting more people who talked to him by first name and people who liked him for who he appeared to be. It was so different from what he had inside of Section One.

For Nikita, she was never one that wanted too much attention, but she always needed something. It had to help to identify her. That was part of Madeline's rationale when she first gave Nikita to Michael, as Nikita needed something to be identified with other than the nameless street people. She had been given that and quickly grew into Nikita. To be swiftly pushed back into that state that no one saw you, had to hurt unlike anything that Birkoff realized.

"I don't expect you to come home on time, Seymour. I'll take our daughter and leave. Just be aware that she is sick... And I am too. Of you," Nikita hissed as she turned and yanked the door open. Birkoff watched as the door swung back and he saw the huge amounts of eyes staring at him. Everyone on the upstairs floor had heard the entire argument and Birkoff leaned his head back.

He moved to his desk and pressed his voice mail.

"Seymour... It's Nikita... It looks like Maralah is sick... Can you call me back? I need your opinion..."

"Seymour... Where are you? It's Nikita. I took Maralah's temperature and it is ninety-nine point eight. Is that a fever? Seymour? Please call me back when you get this message..."

"Ok... Seymour... I'm getting scared... Maralah isn't feeding right and the doctor that was suggested is out of town... What am I supposed to do? Do I go to the hospital? Can I go to the hospital? You understand the insurance... Sey... can you call me back?"

"Seymour! I'm so scared! Why aren't you there! Why aren't you answer your pages! I need you..."

Birkoff dropped his hand on the phone and turned his head away. He blinked at the tears. The torture that Nikita had to have gone through was so painful to listen too. Birkoff lifted his eyes and saw Ryce opening the door and closing it.

"Come now, Seymour... She is just your wife..." Ryce stated with a smile as he sat down next to Birkoff. Birkoff felt a chill run down his spine. He hoped that Nikita realized that he wasn't enjoying this.

~~

Nikita looked over at the cradled as she fingered the communications device softly. Michael had to go too soon. She wanted to tell him about everything that their daughter could do now. She didn't want to just give Michael the details of her ear infection, but that was basically all that she got the chance to do. She looked to the screen and saw Michael's last words.

I love you, Nikita.

Nikita hitched a piece of hair behind her ear and swallowed as she pushed the electronic device on the baby stand near the chair that she was sitting in. Her eyes dropped as she allowed a sigh out.

Then she heard the slam from downstairs.

Nikita had a bad feeling as she started down the stairs. Birkoff for the most part was attentive to the fact that Maralah could be asleep when he entered the house. He looked up the stairs as Birkoff threw off his jacket.

"We have to talk," Birkoff hissed out and Nikita sat down on the stairs. She stared at Birkoff as he moved into the living room. Nikita wasn't going to follow him like the dutiful wife that Birkoff somehow started to treat Nikita. She blinked her eyes and cleared her throat.

"Just come into the living room," Birkoff hissed and Nikita leaned her head back slowly. She saw the anger in Birkoff's eyes, but Nikita wasn't going to deal with him. She rubbed her hands on the banister and licked her lips.

"No," Nikita stated out with bitter hate.

"Nikita... I don't have time to fight with you," Birkoff stated as his voice started to get louder. Nikita blinked her eyes and waited for Birkoff to huff around.

"Looks like you are starting the fight, Birkoff," Nikita stated out smartly.

"Nikita.... I will not and cannot have you going into my office and yelling to me like that!" Birkoff hissed out and Nikita stood up. Her body wasn't going to let Birkoff get away with this. Yes, maybe Birkoff didn't want this mission, but he sure wasn't going to try to tell Nikita that he was the primary victim in this mission.

"And I won't have you coming back here and ordering me around as if I am your wife! I am not married to you Birkoff! I never will be!" Nikita hissed out and Birkoff turned around and slapped his hands against his thighs.

"This has nothing to do with that! This has to do with you coming into my office and treating me like I am no one!" Birkoff shouted and Nikita shook her head back and forth. What Birkoff was trying to blame her for doing was something that Birkoff was doing to her the entire mission.

"Don't talk to me like that Birkoff! I am the one that is lost in the shuffle!" Nikita snapped back as she moved passed him and into the kitchen. Nikita turned around as she pulled a glass up and tried to fill it with water.

"Oh, now, Nikita... You are over dramatic," Birkoff stated and Nikita turned around and threw the water over Birkoff's face. She slammed the glass into the kitchen sink, smashing it into shards of glass. Nikita looked down and then back at Birkoff.

"I am the one that has nothing! What did you do today? What one woman? Two women?" Nikita questioned. Birkoff winced. Nikita knew this information. In fact, most of the time, she somewhat was monitoring this behavior when it was done in this town.

"Three," Birkoff stated and Nikita looked around as she frantically nodded her head.

"You tossed three women around in bed as I scrambled trying to take care of Maralah. I ran out to the first doctor who said he would see me and waited an hour in a room of screaming babies..." Nikita stated out as she looked at Birkoff. She felt sick to her stomach. These were all thoughts that Nikita pushed away as being better not being verbalized. Now it was too late and Nikita couldn't stop them.

"Do you enjoy it, Birkoff? And don't lie. I have tapes," Nikita stated out as her eyes flared. Birkoff dropped his head. There was no reason for Nikita to be in this situation. She deserved so much better, especially after giving birth to the wonder baby.

"Yes... but Nikita... you have it so much easier..." Birkoff tried to point out and Nikita moved closer to him. Birkoff visibly trembled, but Nikita didn't take notice. With the look in Nikita's eyes, Birkoff was sure that she was going to punch him or hurt him in some manner. He deserved it too. Instead, Nikita took his shoulders and pushed him against the wall.

"You think I have it easier?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff blinked his eyes once more. He knew that he was stuck in a difficult position. Birkoff couldn't say no and he couldn't say yes. He merely stared at Nikita as she pushed back off of his body and twirled in a circle.

"Look at me, Birkoff! LOOK AT ME!" Nikita shouted and Birkoff opened his eyes and did as Nikita request. She looked terrible but he wasn't going to be telling that to Nikita any time soon.

"I take care of Maralah... I write mission profiles... I listen to you with those bimbos and Mr. Ryce making rude comments about me... and then I work on getting back into mission form! WHAT DO I HAVE!" Nikita questioned as her loud voice suddenly dropped in volume. The last part was just a whisper that caused Birkoff to gasp.

He couldn't move as Nikita rushed out of the room. He heard the sobs and followed Nikita immediately. He couldn't allow Nikita to bottle this up now. She would be unbearable to live with.

"Nikita... whenever you need me.... When is Maralah's next appointment?" Birkoff questioned as he reached out and touched Nikita's arm. He jumped as Nikita pulled away as if Birkoff had burned her. She looked at her arm and then pushed Birkoff further away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Nikita hissed and Birkoff blinked his eyes.

"I just want to help you..." Birkoff stated and Nikita shuttered as she thought about it. Her entire body rolled with sickness as she thought about Birkoff touching her.

"Don't ever touch me! Just leave me alone!" Nikita hissed as she moved to the old bedroom that she had stayed in. She dropped to the chair and rolled her head down. Birkoff did not know how to approach her. There was nothing he could do right now to get Nikita's attention.

So he watched Nikita for five minutes. Finally she lifted her head and looked up at Birkoff.

"Look at me... Before... I had something Birkoff..." Nikita moaned out as she tried to wipe her tears away. The battle was useless and Birkoff shook his head back and forth. He wanted to reach out and help with drying the tears himself.

"Nikita... It was just a bad day..." Birkoff whispered and Nikita shook her head back and forth.

"That girl.. upstairs... is the only thing keep my sanity... and I don't know how much longer that is going to last..." Nikita cried out as she dropped her head again. There would be no reaching Nikita now. She sobbed pitifully into the desk and Birkoff stepped away.

Nikita didn't even notice the cries from her daughter. Birkoff moved up the stairs and took care of her, tears still in his own eyes.

~~

Hours later, Birkoff walked into the bedroom, seeing that Nikita had finally given into the sleep that she needed. Birkoff turned to the bed that wasn't being used any more and pulled the sheets down. He knew that Nikita said that he shouldn't touch her, but that didn't matter.

It was a struggle, but soon Birkoff settled Nikita into the bed and kissed her forehead.

Ryce wanted Birkoff to put his foot down. Birkoff was sure that part of the reason why Nikita fought with him today was because Nikita wanted to slow everything down, knowing that the longer the mission extended, the better Michael and Madeline could prepare for Maralah coming back to Section One with Nikita.

Ryce was going to continue to push Birkoff, but for now, he had some time. Nikita was more than upset and a nervous breakdown wasn't going to help Nikita or the baby. She had a week until she had to appear inside of Section One for tests and a mission.

Birkoff hoped to god that Michael was running those tests and the mission.

*

The picture was sometimes all that Michael ever found joy in anymore. To see proof that this little being, dressed in a soft pink outfit was his daughter was enough to make all the bad thoughts to drift away. The pain of separation from Nikita and Maralah was not as much as he stared at that picture.

Except today.

Today, Michael just wanted to be near Nikita. He wanted to hold his daughter and kiss Nikita for doing a great job. Michael was positive that Nikita wasn't getting enough of that positive reinforcement that she was doing a good job being a mother. It was critical, but no one seemed to listen to him any longer.

Maybe it was the disturbing conversation he had with Walter the other day that made looking at the picture and blessing and a curse. Walter was the only one that Birkoff would talk to these days and it appeared as if that connection was getting worse. Michael had a feeling that Nikita was hiding things from him, but since he only saw words, he couldn't get any proof. However, Michael did hear Birkoff's side of the arguments that had occurred between Birkoff and Nikita. Both the one in the office and the house seemed to be too skewed to making Birkoff look like the right one.

It had only helped Michael realize that Nikita was being lost in a world that she couldn't control any longer. Nikita had to have been feeling down to go to the office and take a calculative move as she did. Birkoff said that she was trying to end the mission, but Michael knew much better than that, and so did Walter.

Needless to say, Walter didn't make any friends taking Michael's point, that Nikita would never place the mission at risk to just yell at him. Birkoff flipped on Walter and soon, Walter was found screaming at the phone.

Maybe that was why Madeline changed the plans. Madeline was going to baby sit for a couple days as Nikita came in for tests and to go on a mission. It was a test of Nikita; one, which everyone knew, was coming way too soon for Nikita. She still had diabetes until three weeks ago. Now, Birkoff was going to spend the weekend with the baby while Nikita came in for these tests.

Michael wasn't sure if that was the wisest thing to do.

Michael looked out the door of his office and raised an eyebrow as an operative hobbled down the hallway, heading towards medical. Michael couldn't remember any missions that were pending and he stood up and looked both ways in the hallway. The operative was gone and Michael frowned.

He pulled his door closed and started to walk slowly towards the training rooms. He stopped as he saw the thin and solid muscles moving in perfect unison with each other. Michael felt his mouth open in awe as he saw the grace of the person that was working the operatives quickly.

"Amazing, isn't she?" Madeline questioned as she saw Michael. She couldn't even be sure that Michael knew it was Nikita, as she was wearing a hood that Madeline had told her to wear, to see if Nikita had any problems with vision with items on her head. It wasn't a needed test, and Madeline just wanted to play around with Michael either way, but Nikita was doing quite nicely.

"Very strong..." Michael stated and Madeline smiled and nodded her head. He didn't know that it was Nikita. Madeline started to walk down the hallway. Nikita's body was beyond the state that it was when she left Section One for the mission with Birkoff. How Nikita worked all the pregnancy weight off and sculpted her body as she looked now was beyond Madeline.

Before, Nikita's muscles were there, but understated. Now, they were defined and highlighted. At times, Madeline would even say that Nikita's muscles bulged. Her chest was of course filled pleasantly out with the milk from breastfeeding and Madeline was hoping that some of the fullness would stay even after breastfeeding was ceased.

Was this as therapeutic for Nikita has it had been in the past? No. She was going through them with a callousness that was much like Michael when he was working out on the operatives. She didn't try to extend the length of each operative. She went for the quickest opening and hoped to do major damage.

Madeline turned her head and smirked at the way that Michael was gawking still. It wasn't that he was thinking that this was someone else other than Nikita. He was amazed with the body.

Davenport pushed some operatives out of the way and Michael shook his head. He knew that Davenport was a stiff guy with a strong opinion of himself, but he never could tell when he was outclassed. Michael folded his hands in front of his waist and waited for the pounding to begin.

But all the fight ended up being was one kick. To the jaw. Michael winced as Davenport collapsed.

"Damn," Michael commented as he looked at Davenport slamming his hand on the mats. He couldn't believe another woman had out done him. The operative moved to help Davenport and he pulled the hat off and Michael moved to the window and pressed his hands against the window.

"NIKITA!" Michael hollered, as did Davenport. Everyone in the room looked at Nikita and then saw Michael against the window. Nikita smiled and winced as she saw Davenport.

This time, she called medical for Davenport and then was immediately swamped by operatives.

"Of course I have pictures..." Nikita stated as she threw the towel over her shoulders. Michael entered and stared at the crowd. It appeared as if Nikita was very famous. All the operatives that barely were able to mutter congratulations to Michael were able to surround Nikita for a glimpse of the baby that Michael would have shown off himself.

"She is so pretty! She looks just like you!" most of the operatives commented and Nikita laughed. It did her heart no good to hear people lie like that for her sake. She knew that Maralah looked most like Michael. Sometimes it was a pure blessing while at other times, it was a curse.

"How can you stand being away from her?" another operative questioned and Nikita merely shrugged her shoulders. She knew that in time, they would realize that it wasn't her choice to come in without her, that she didn't want to leave Birkoff with her all alone. At least Linda stated that she was going to drop in. But that did little to settle Nikita's heart.

"You deserved her, Nikita," Davenport grumbled out, as he held his hand to his jaw. Nikita smiled and looked through the crowd, seeing Michael's eyes staring at her. She closed the pictures and moved towards Michael, the operatives swiftly caught on what was going on.

"Michael... I brought them for you..." Nikita stated as she handed over the photo album. Michael thumbed through them, feeling his heart expanding with each picture. They didn't make up not being able to see his daughter and touch her, but it was so good seeing her.

"We have to talk..." Michael stated as he placed a hand on Nikita's hip. He was still stunned to see how much Nikita had transformed her body while tending to the baby and without proper equipment. Nikita nodded her head and looked around the room. They stepped to a small control room and closed the door.

"I head about your fight with Birkoff..." Michael stated and Nikita started to defensively shake her head.

"I don't know what he told you Michael, but it was just a bad day for me and I was just letting out some steam... I'm actually quite pulled together..." Nikita rolled out quickly and Michael stared at her. Finally, he placed his fingers on Nikita's lips and silenced her.

"What are you talking about?" Michael questioned and Nikita stared at Michael. It was quite clear that Michael had heard another version of the fight than what happened or what Nikita feared Birkoff told Walter.

"Ah... nothing..." Nikita stated and Michael looked into her eyes. She was lying, but he just didn't have the time to go into anything right now. More testing was scheduled before Nikita would be allowed to go see Madeline for final approval. The process that Madeline and Operations were putting Nikita through was more difficult than it was for her at any other time inside of Section One.

"I heard that you had an argument inside the office about Birkoff's absence at home. I was saying that I agreed with your calculated move," Michael stated and Nikita nodded her head. She looked at Michael and looked to her hands.

"And I was upset about how he wasn't there for me when Maralah was sick," Nikita stated and Michael kissed Nikita's forehead. He wished that Nikita could have contacted him. Nikita didn't have to go through that herself.

"How is she?" Michael questioned and Nikita smiled. She looked like she was whole as she thought about her daughter. Michael held Nikita's hand as she glowed from fingertip to her toes.

"The fever is gone... and she didn't get sick on the medicine..." Nikita commented and Michael nodded his head. "She goes back next week for a check up and her booster shots."

Michael held Nikita in that room for as long as he could. It wasn't long. The operatives pointed Madeline to where they had gone off too and Madeline pointed to her watch. Nikita rolled her eyes and lingered for a moment.

They couldn't kiss. But Nikita held Michael's hand as she forced her tears to stay well hidden. She did not need anyone knowing how close she was to losing it. It was her only defense left.

~~

Madeline looked at Nikita as she stared at the chair and then back to Madeline. There was a motive for this particular test, but one that Nikita would not be expecting. Madeline tilted her head and licked her lips.

"What part of sit down don't you understand, Nikita?" Madeline questioned and Nikita blinked her eyes. She looked to the chair, as it was curved and reclined. There weren't any sensors that Nikita could visible see and there was nothing above it to place her head in.

"What is this for?" Nikita questioned and Madeline nodded her head. Nikita's defensives about this were correct. There was a time that Madeline would have done something to Nikita. She was going to do something to Nikita, but nothing as drastic as she had done in the past.

"It is to monitor your resting pulse and blood pressure. They should be low, but since you were treated for high blood pressure during pregnancy, we need to see that it had truly gone down," Madeline lied as she blinked her eyes. It sounded so right and Nikita looked at Madeline and then the chair once more.

She was tired.

Nikita settled into the chair and Madeline moved towards her. Madeline placed a drink next to Nikita, but Nikita turned her head away from it. It was only natural for the operatives to think that everything that Madeline was doing was for a reason. This one had a reason.

Nikita looked thirsty.

"Why don't you take the boots off? They can't be comfortable..." Madeline stated and Nikita sat up some and stopped Madeline's hands. Nikita stared at her and then leaned back, allowing Madeline her way with the boots.

"This isn't some sort of psychological thing, is it?" Nikita questioned and Madeline shook her head as she pulled the first boot off. Nikita slightly smiled as Madeline took several steps back from pulling the boot off. Madeline worked on the second boot, but learned over the first boot.

"No, it isn't. I just want you to relax..." Madeline stated as she turned the lights down. Nikita looked at Madeline and sighed.

"I don't normally lay on my back any longer, Madeline..." Nikita stated and Madeline slightly smiled. She knew this also, thanks to Birkoff.

"You can move into any position that you feel is best... The sensors will still pick up the data that we want..." Madeline stated as she moved towards the desk and flipped the lights on. Already, Nikita was relaxed and her pulse and blood pressure were slow, as an athletic person's should be.

Nikita moved to the side, facing away from Madeline. It was so easy to predict and Madeline smiled. She looked to her desk and opened up the drawer. She pulled out a vial and a syringe. She carefully looked at the label on the vial.

"When you relax... who do you think about?" Madeline questioned, as she did not move her eyes off of the work that she was doing. Nikita was lulled into a feeling of peace, which was best for Madeline. She pushed the syringe into the vial and withdrew the medicine.

"Maralah..." Nikita responded and Madeline raised her eyebrows. She had almost expected Nikita to say Michael. Her answer made Madeline realize that what she was going to do was going to hurt Nikita deeply. The bond that Nikita had with her daughter was vital and strong. It was keeping Nikita strong in this mission.

"Well.. she is definitely a beautiful daughter..." Madeline stated as she tapped out the air bubbles and moved towards Nikita, silently.

There was only one chance to do this. Madeline guarded herself, as she knew the reaction was going to be violent. In one smooth movement, Madeline plunged the syringe into Nikita's back and pushed the liquid in as quickly as she could.

Nikita jumped and turned around, wrenching Madeline's hands away. Nikita looked at the syringe and pulled it out, staring at Madeline.

"What did you do?" Nikita hissed as she dropped the syringe. For a moment, Nikita was sure that Madeline had just poisoned her, sentenced her to death. Madeline pressed her lips together and for a second, to ease Nikita's worries, she allowed Nikita to see that she did not want to do this so soon.

"We cannot have an operative going out on a mission who is lactating," Madeline stated and Nikita stared at Madeline and dropped to the chair, sitting on the swell that was meant for the knees.

"WHAT?" Nikita questioned loudly. She heard what Madeline stated, but she couldn't believe it.

"You breastfeed Maralah too often to get a mission off and completed before you would show signs or pains of needing to feed," Madeline revealed and Nikita blinked her eyes softly. She pushed her hair back as she was struck with the thought. There would be no more holding Maralah to her breast to feed. That connection would end, and Madeline tore it away with one plunge of a needle.

"NO!" Nikita cried out as the tears started to form in Nikita's eyes. This was not a reaction that Madeline expected from Nikita. She expected Nikita to be upset to a point, but not to the point of abject horror and tears. It made Madeline's heart pound a bit faster, wondering if she made a big mistake.

"It is the only way you can go out on the mission tonight with Michael. You do want to spend time with Michael, correct?" Madeline questioned and Nikita shook her head back and forth. The disbelief stunned her and only continued to get worse with the words that Madeline spoke. Michael would never want this to be pulled away from Nikita, and now, Nikita had no choice. It was taken without her knowing.

"I can't believe you did that! I give my daughter nourishment, Madeline! I can function on a mission like this!" Nikita hissed as she placed her hands in front of her breasts. She stared down and then turned her head to the side. The tears shimmered in the dim light and Madeline took a ragged breath.

"Actually... although breast milk is best, yours is probably not the best. I know that Maralah has been having problems with your milk when you have dairy foods... that severely limits your diet..." Madeline stated and Nikita shook her head back and forth. This was unforgivable.

"Happy? Do you want to destroy what I have with my daughter?" Nikita hissed as she stood up and looked at Madeline. Nikita didn't know what to do. She wanted to punch Madeline. She wanted to push Madeline. She wanted to slap Madeline. And she wanted to run far away from this place.

"I HATE YOU!" Nikita hissed as she turned on her heels and flew out of the office, Madeline staring after her.

~~

Walter walked down the hallway, twisting his hands back and forth. Several operatives stated that Nikita had filled out, which meant that Walter had to adjust any equipment that she may need. Since she hadn't been assigned to a mission yet, Walter decided that it was best to start with the standard bullet through vest, with some major modifications done to it, to protect the dear mother.

The only problem was that Walter didn't know where Nikita was.

Something was bothering Birkoff about Nikita of late and Walter wasn't sure what. It was difficult to assess what could be the problem since it seemed like most of Birkoff's words were lies. He had a hard time trying to even for a picture in his mind of what was going on.

Walter turned the corner as the door to Madeline's office flew open and Nikita bolted down the hallway with her hands against her face. Walter turned as Nikita instantly was passed him. He followed behind, but then stopped as Nikita pulled away.

"Damn you, Madeline..." Walter hissed, as he knew that Madeline did something. He didn't know what and he turned the corner and saw Michael standing there, staring after Nikita.

"You going to do something?" Walter questioned and Michael just started to walk.

*

Michael followed behind Nikita, but keeping some distance. It was quite clear that all Nikita was focusing on was what was in front of her. There was no sense that she knew that Michael was following her, which only increased Michael's worries and thoughts.

Immediately, from the way that Nikita was acting, Michael knew that this somehow tied back to their daughter. Nikita wouldn't just plunge off the deep end into insanity for no reason. It had to be Maralah, and that scared Michael.

Thus far, Nikita had been the only layer of protection that was there for Maralah. Yes, in some ways Birkoff was there, but just not like Michael could have. If Section One decided to do something now, like take Maralah away, Michael did not have that much to hold against Section One to protect Maralah. He was working on placing his resources into a good line of defense, but those things took time.

Nikita ducked into an empty standby room and slammed the door. Michael looked into the window, wondering if the light was going to pop on. It didn't. Michael frowned and touched the door.

He knew that Nikita needed him, but he didn't know what was going on. This could be all based off of him for some unknown reason. What if he had failed Nikita once again? That was a possibility that Michael did not want to face. He wanted to know that Nikita was ok, and that meant opening the door and walking in.

Michael felt the tension in the room rush out towards him as he heard Nikita's cries. For all the strength that she had during the pregnancy, only breaking apart when Maralah's life was in danger, Michael was scared now. Her cries were paltry and she rolled her head to the side.

"Nikita..." Michael whispered out as he moved towards Nikita as the door swung close. Michael looked to the wall and flipped the lights on, trying to find the location of the bed that Nikita had hidden in the standby room. He looked down the rows of bed until he saw Nikita curled up in a ball on the furthest bed.

"Nikita..." Michael whispered again as he continued to move towards Nikita. She lifted her head, divulging the puffy face and the ravaged eyes from the tears. Michael's heart got caught in his chest as Nikita dropped her head once more to resume crying, which had only ceased for a breath while she looked at Michael.

Nikita rolled away at the first moment that Michael sat down on the bed. She wanted to wallow in her own self-pity. She didn't want to expose Michael to what she was feeling. It was something that Nikita was sure that Michael wouldn't understand, that it was something beyond men. Nikita felt something so extraordinary when Maralah is latched to her breast, taking the milk that up to this moment was produced for her. Nikita looked and Michael and touched his hand softly.

"What is it?" Michael questioned and Nikita rolled to the side. She hurt everywhere, but the pain was intensifying in her chest as the milk of life was being drained away, leaving her dry and empty.

"Madeline... Madeline... oh Michael..." Nikita tried to tell him, but broke too soon. The words just wouldn't form from her lips. She couldn't think of the right words and it only complicated the matter of trying to communicate to Michael what she was feeling.

"What about Madeline?" Michael questioned, sensing that something had occurred between Nikita and Madeline. The way Nikita spat out Madeline's name told Michael more than Nikita realized.

"Oh Michael.... Madeline... it was so bad..." Nikita moaned out as she curled closer to Michael. She still felt the hot pinpoint on her back where Madeline injected the medicine. She curled her head closer to Michael's lap, drenching his pants with her tears.

"What did Madeline do Nikita?" Michael cautiously spoke, knowing deep down that he did not want to find out what Madeline did do. Nikita rolled her head to the side and looked up at Michael.

"She... she... I hurt..." Nikita lost control of the tears again. The pain waved across Nikita once more and she clutched her breasts. It felt as if they were shriveling.

But Michael was terrified now. He didn't know what was going on. Nikita's words and actions now almost didn't match. The only information he had been able to get thus far was that Madeline had something to do with this. Michael should have known and been prepared for this.

"Nikita... you are really scaring me..." Michael whispered and he dropped his head and kissed her hair. Nikita looked at Michael and started to tremble.

"What did Madeline do? Did she give you something?" Michael questioned, hoping that Nikita would be able to respond to yes or no questions. Nikita nodded her head weakly up and down.

Michael felt his heart race with that answer. He looked around and stared at Nikita once more. Did Madeline poison her? Did Madeline give her something else that was going to destroy her? Why would Madeline risk everything that they had been through with Nikita? Why did Madeline just seemingly change sides?

"Nikita... you got to tell me more..." Michael demanded, but not in a strong voice. Michael ran his hands across her back, looking at the sports bra that she was wearing and turned his head back. As he turned his head to kiss Nikita's sobbing head once more with another attempt to acquire some information from Nikita, he got the little injection site. It looked as if Madeline had to jam it in quickly and that Nikita must have pulled it out. It may have caused some muscle damage too.

"Nikita... is this were she did it?" Michael questioned as his fingers ran around the little swollen area. He felt her nod her head once more and then wince when he touched the location with a soft fingertip. Michael sat up and looked down to Nikita. He carefully cupped Nikita's cheeks and looked down at her.

"What did she do, Nikita? I need to know..." Michael stated and Nikita looked at him. Her pain was going to stop just telling Michael, but she saw that Michael was thinking things that were worse than what Madeline did do.

"She gave me something... to... stop my lactating," Nikita admitted with a high-pitched voice before her head plummeted back down to Michael's lap.

Michael was stunned and outraged in the same moment. He held Nikita and immediately started to rock back and forth. He didn't know who he was doing the movement for either. Madeline in one moment decided to break a bond with a mother and a child that she never experienced, but knew the importance of. In that one moment, Madeline took the best thing for Maralah and reduced her into tears.

"Nikita... Nikita..." Michael tried to sooth her. There was no way that Michael could say that it was ok, because it was definitely not ok. Michael was sure going to have a conversation with Madeline about this reckless behavior on Madeline's part. Did she not weight all the factors into this? Maybe Nikita lactating on a mission was a hassle, but sure it was something that was more important than a mission.

"She is trying to take the mother in me away!" Nikita cried out in a loud voice. Michael looked at Nikita and saw that this notion, of not being able to be a mother any longer, was more frightening than not being able to breastfeed Maralah.

"Nikita... I won't let her do that... You can be a great mother without breastfeeding Maralah..." Michael stated as he stared at Nikita. She lifted her head and placed it closer to Michael's shoulder. She felt that he was kissing her head and it was something that he would continue to do until Nikita's tears ceased. Michael rubbed Nikita's head and looked foreword at the door and saw the face of the woman who did this to Nikita.

Madeline dropped her head and moved inches away from the door, to step away from the door. Walter stared at the end of the hallway as Madeline leaned against the wall.

"What did you do this time?" Walter questioned and Madeline turned her head with a snap to look at Walter. She was truly doing this for what was best for Nikita. She experienced giving Maralah breast milk for that amount of time. If it had been any other operative, she would have suggested never breastfeeding.

"I may have made a mistake," Madeline admitted. The fact was, that she callously made this decision. Something else was going on that Madeline wasn't aware of. Walter moved towards Madeline and looked into the room, seeing Nikita clinging to Michael.

"Looks like a damn big mistake..." Walter hissed as he turned and faced Madeline. She dropped her head, knowing that she was guilty as charged. Luckily for Madeline, Michael was there to pick up the pieces.

"I'll make it up to her... to them..." Madeline declared and Walter lifted his eyebrow as Madeline walked away from her. He sure hoped so.

*

Operations walked down the loud hallways. It had been almost cheerful in the hallways of Section One since Nikita arrived back today for the tests. There were even pictures of Maralah floating around.

He never saw the child and he never had plans on seeing the child. It was something that disinterested him, and he wished that it disinterested the operatives. It was a bad precedent to set, but it was one that Operations told Madeline would not be repeated.

However, what Operations in the hallways did not indicate how he thought Nikita was going to do on her tests. He thought that she would be slow, weaker, and ineffective. He was wrong. The scores had skyrocketed, her form looking more and more like Michael's without direct contact with Michael since the birth of Maralah.

Madeline had given warnings to Operations that it would not happen. She stated that it would be difficult for Nikita to lose the weight, let alone get back in mission form. He was glad to see that Madeline was wrong.

Operations walked down the hallway and saw Madeline walking towards him. There had been a change in the mission profile that Operations wasn't sure about. It was different from what he had expected, but these days, he never was sure with Madeline's motives.

She was holding a panel and handed it towards him. On top of the panel was a picture of a young child. Operations glanced at it for a second and swallowed. It was a beautiful baby and he knew at that instant, he was looking at Maralah, Michael and Nikita's child.

"Looks like Michael," Operations stated as he handed the picture back to Madeline and then looked at the panel. He shook his head as he saw the changes and was sure that he was going to live to regret this mission also.

"Is the team ready for a briefing?" Operations questioned and Madeline turned her head and looked towards the table. Michael was sitting next to Nikita, stroking her hand back and forth. This situation with Michael and Nikita was getting out of control and Operations swallowed once more. It would be impossible to measure the impact of the situation of Michael and Nikita, but he was sure that it was not good.

"Good afternoon," Operations stated as he moved towards the table and pulled up the pointer. He looked, as Michael didn't even drop Nikita's hand. That was when he caught Nikita's face. He had seen the tapes from the workouts that Nikita had. She shouldn't have been crying to the point that her face got puffy. Operations glanced over and Madeline and knew that the change in the profile designated that Madeline had done something to cause Nikita to cry.

And he didn't want to know why.

"This is Noris and Laurenne Ilius..." Operations started the briefing. He continued on carefully, trying to avoid Michael's and Nikita's eyes. For a while he was sure that they weren't even happy with the gem of a mission that Madeline had profiled for them.

"While the seduction in the bedroom is occurring... our operatives will move in... Activities will have to continue throughout the night until we get a window..." Operations outlined as he looked at Michael and Nikita. "Is that going to be a problem?"

"Clean bill of health two weeks ago," Nikita remarked sharply. He turned away. That was something that he never thought that he would have to discuss with Nikita. Operations nodded his head and turned to Davenport, his jaw wired once again and his face bright red. Operations knew that sex had never been a problem for Michael and Nikita.

The details went on and Madeline looked to Michael and Nikita. She thought that they would be ecstatic about the mission, being allowed to be together once more. Maybe it was the thought that they were going to be observed that was draining them. Maybe it was the fact that Michael and Nikita would only have this one night.

"Do we understand?" Operations questioned as he threw the pointer down on the table. He looked from one end to the other and nodded his head. The operatives were dismissed. He looked as Michael stood up and took Nikita's hands, about to wrap an arm around her shoulder.

"Michael... Nikita..." Operations called out and Michael turned around and looked at Operations.

"For God sake's... use protection..." Operations hissed and walked out of the area. Michael looked to Nikita and then continued to move in the direction that they were heading to start with. Madeline smiled as she looked in both directions. She was sure if Operations had the chance, he would have thrown the protection on the table to emphasis his point.

*

Nikita touched her hair carefully. She couldn't even remember the last time that she had the time to take care of it. Today, due to the mission, she curled it into loose ringlets and allowed it to cascade down her neck and back. It felt so good to feel the silky hair that Nikita only got from using the showers inside of Section One.

Nikita hadn't looked into a mirror yet with the final dress on. Madeline had selected a few the first time, and found out that yes, even with Madeline's medicine, Nikita's chest had filled out and all dressed needed to be fitted to that new size.

The door opened and Nikita turned around. She was just about to check her makeup one more time. In ways, she was relieved to be placed on a mission like this one, getting some time with Michael, even in bed. Other parts of Nikita wished that she were home with her daughter. It would be the first night that Nikita would miss tucking her daughter in.

"You are... stunning..." Michael whispered out as the sight of Nikita took his breath away. He knew it was a clique, but it was the truth. Looking at Nikita turned slightly did something to his body chemistry that only Nikita could do.