"Nikita... I can't believe you are walking!" Linda spoke and Nikita blinked her eyes. She had so many things happening in the past few days that she had forgotten about the knee injury. Nikita shrugged her shoulders and she continued to smile.

This was probably going to be the hardest part of the entire rest of this mission.

"Is Seymour here?" Nikita questioned and Linda rolled her eyes.

"Of course, he is in his office. What is going on?" Linda questioned and Nikita smiled and then looked down the hallway.

"I hope he is going to be happy... we weren't planning this for a while..." Nikita stated as she pretended to fret for Linda. The woman blinked her eyes as Nikita leaned in closer.

"Dear lord, Nikita... tell me what you are talking about!" Linda stated and Nikita giggled like a teenager who just got kissed for the first time. Inside, Nikita was sick of this Nikita.

"A stork is making a special delivery..." Nikita smiled broadly and Linda opened her mouth and hugged Nikita tightly.

"Oh my gosh! You and Seymour are going to make great parents! How long? When did you find out? You did got to the doctor right?" Linda questioned quickly and Nikita rolled her eyes.

"I'm pretty late... and they ran a test in the hospital... They called and I didn't believe it... I had to get a test... but had to go out of town...and I ran home today to take it... And I have an appointment for tomorrow..." Nikita explained as she rubbed her hands up and down. She looked into her purse and pulled out the stick.

"I even wonder if Seymour knows what this means?" Nikita questioned and Linda rolled her eyes and started to push Nikita down the hallway.

Linda smiled easily when she heard Seymour scream in joy. She listened to the happiness and sighed. It was so good when good things happened to good people.

"Linda? Linda?" Birkoff called out as he opened the door. He had seen the tears that had threatened to come over Nikita when he pretended to be excited. The fact was that he was scared by what was going to be going on.

"Yes, Seymour? Good news?" Linda questioned and Birkoff turned and grabbed Nikita.

"You told her!" Birkoff accused Nikita and she shrugged her shoulders. "I'm going to be late tomorrow..."

"That's fine, Seymour. Take care of Mother Hayes!" Linda stated as she walked down the hallway.

~~

Linda walked down the hallway. Birkoff was more than late. She moved down the hallway and then knocked on Birkoff's partially opened door.

"Everything ok?" Linda questioned and Birkoff smiled as he motioned Linda in.

"The doctor just wanted to run a few more tests... Nikita is anemic..." Birkoff stated and Linda opened her eyes and sat down.

"Isn't that dangerous? Isn't that early? I thought that didn't occur until the fifth month... At least with Nicole... that was when it happened to her?" Linda stated rapidly. She saw that Birkoff was stressed about this also.

"Ah... it isn't early for a woman who is an undeclared vegetarian... She eats very little meat... and that challenge will be the biggest one..." Birkoff stated with a smile on his face.

"A bigger challenge than slowing her down?" Linda questioned and Birkoff sighed and rolled his own eyes.

"I don't think I'm going to have much say on that... at least, not until the doctor tells her to slow down," Birkoff stated and Linda nodded her head. She had a feeling that Nikita was a bit too stubborn for Seymour a times.

"So when is the first ultrasound?" Linda questioned and Birkoff smiled.

Secretly, he had made plans with Walter. The first ultrasound, Michael would be there.

*

Nikita pushed the door open and waddled in slightly. Now, five months pregnant, Nikita was noticing her large body all the time. She never knew that her body would literally hurt this bad during the entire pregnancy. Nikita shut the door and sighed in relief, as Birkoff was not home from work yet.

The contact with Ryce Borjas hadn't occurred yet, although Madeline and sources at Section One said that he was near the area. There was a big meeting today and Nikita had to wonder if it was Ryce's attempt at getting someone new in the firm to get an eye on Birkoff's computer skills in the office.

Sometimes, Nikita was glad that Ryce Borjas didn't make contact yet. It meant that she didn't have to monitor Birkoff's office and computer work. It meant that it might give Nikita a month or two more to have her child in her arms. It was Birkoff that pointed out that this mission extended a bit longer than initially planned would not be bad for mother and child.

Birkoff had become very active in monitoring Nikita. It made Nikita often frustrated with Birkoff. Sometimes, she just wanted to be left alone to her own misery. It was difficult enough to pretend that things were ok with her for Birkoff's co-workers. They always wanted to go out every Friday night to be with the happy couple. Nikita found it sickening, and at least the first couple months, had been able to claim that Nikita's morning sickness was just so bad. It wasn't a lie. Nikita had a hard time with everything so far. Birkoff tried to make it better. But he wasn't Michael.

Nikita was also glad that he wasn't there, as Birkoff always questioned Nikita after doctor's appointments, which she had started to take by herself. Birkoff would always tell Linda that Nikita would just change them, due to her own busy schedule, but that was nowhere near the truth.

Nikita was just stubborn. She didn't want Birkoff worrying about her or the baby. And if she told Birkoff every detail about the checkups, she was sure that Birkoff would tell Walter and Walter would tell Michael. Nikita rolled her head around slightly, feeling the tension that was building there. She didn't even want Michael worry about her. His contact with her seemed to be limited more each week. The writing pad had lost its magical touch a long time ago, with Nikita craving to see him and touch him.

Sometimes, Nikita would walk around the house after walking in and just start to cry. It wasn't a house she selected. It was a house that she shared with Birkoff. She couldn't remember the last time that Michael held her and Birkoff just sometimes didn't know the right things he had to say to a pregnant woman. Birkoff didn't tell Nikita that she looked radiant while she was pregnant. Linda did that, and Nikita would crave that sort of attention.

Nikita placed her purse down on the table and opened it. Nikita looked around and started to pull the bottles of medicine out. Her fingers wrapped around them as her hands shook.

No one said that a pregnancy could be a nightmare.

It was.

Nikita turned and walked into her room to hide the medicine once again. There was no reason to bother Birkoff about this. She would pick up the additional medication the next morning. She hadn't bothered him about the continuing anemia problem either. Nikita sat down at the desk and placed the bottles behind the picture of her child, from the first ultrasound.

It was the best moment of this pregnancy thus far.

~~

"Nikita...." Michael whispered as he walked into the room. Nikita looked at Michael and then looked around.

"Where is Seymour?" Nikita questioned as she stared at Michael. They were doing this through the doctor's office that Nikita was Nikita Hayes.

"Sorry, Sis... Your husband got caught up at work and he didn't think you would want to be alone," Michael stated and Nikita smiled. She didn't worry about these technicians saying anything. They saw so many women all the time, which was the reason why they selected this office. Nikita knew she would never see the same doctor twice. She wished she still had the nice woman doctor, Dr. Kindles.

"I'm glad you are here.... I'm scared..." Nikita stated as she reached out for his hand. Michael took it as the technician motioned that Michael should take a seat and watch. Michael leaned down and looked at Nikita as he smiled.

"Nothing to be scared of, Nikita... In fact... I'm sure you will be in awe..." Michael stated as he smiled at her. He wished that he could say more, but it was all there on his eyes. Nikita blinked and leaned her head back. She did not want to cry.

The gel was cold and Nikita winced. She felt all the water that she had drank sitting there and looked to Michael.

"You realize that this scan may not pick it up. We do have orders from the doctor to complete an ultrasound by placing an instrument into your vagina," The technician spoke as he looked at Nikita. Nikita barely nodded her head.

"I thought this was early, sis..." Michael spoke. He had been surprised by Birkoff's call about this ultrasound. In fact, Michael was worried until Madeline told Michael that it was becoming a more standardized time for an ultrasound, especially since Nikita was underweight at the time.

"It's because I'm anemic already.... they just want to check for sure..." Nikita said as she winced as the man started to push the scan around. He frowned and looked at Nikita.

"I'm going to get another nurse in here..." he stated and Nikita nodded her head. He left the room and Michael lightly kissed Nikita on the forehead.

"This is going to be ok, Nikita... Don't fret about it," Michael stated and Nikita blinked her eyes, not able to stop the tears that were forming on the edges once again.

"I had nightmares about this... and Birkoff came down to hold me... I punched him," Nikita stated and Michael smirked. He was going to have to warn Birkoff something more about pregnant woman. Or he was going to end up with black eyes every few days.

"I don't want you to be scared.... if you think that anything is wrong, Nikita... I'll take you back to Dr. Kindles," Michael stated and she nodded her head up and down as the door opened. Nikita turned her head to the side as the preparations were made for the instrument to be inserted into her.

Nikita hated these kinds of positions with her body. They were men. They just moved her body about, like she was a piece of clay to be molded in anyway. Nikita focused on that she might be able to see her body soon.

Several minutes later Nikita rolled her head to the side. She hadn't seen anything, but she felt plenty. Finally the screen turned around and she squeezed Michael's hand.

There was the little fluttering on the screen. The baby. Nikita gasped as the technician smiled at Nikita.

~~

Nikita stared at that picture for a long time, sitting at the desk, with her fingers on the keyboard, but the computer turned off. She stared at the picture.

Her child.

It was the picture of the first ultrasound, which occurred at 7 weeks. She had another one done at 17 weeks, which showed that the baby was a bit small. Nikita got pictures of it, but it did not matter as much as this one did. This first picture, Michael was there with her. She wasn't by herself and Michael had gotten a picture too.

Often, she would stare at this picture and think that Michael was staring at his. Nikita knew that Michael had to be careful. Thus far, Madeline had been able to stop Operations from having knowledge of Nikita's pregnancy. Nikita did not know how much longer that would last.

Nikita had sat there, after hiding her medicine for almost an hour when Birkoff slammed the front door. It didn't even seem like Nikita heard him as she stared at that picture. Her hands lightly dropped from the keyboard to her stomach, which had blossomed without Nikita realizing it.

"Nikita?" Birkoff called as he walked into the room. Nikita turned and looked at Birkoff. Then she forced herself to smile.

"Yeah, Birkoff?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff glanced at his watch and then to Nikita. She looked very spaced out, and Birkoff felt his body chill. He had felt that way often during this pregnancy.

"I know you had the doctor's appointment. Is there a reason why you didn't go to the parenting class?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita stared at Birkoff and blinked her eyes.

"Today is Thursday?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff nodded his head. He didn't think that it was necessary for Nikita to attend these parenting classes, but Michael said that Nikita was afraid of being a mother that it was best to let her do what she wanted. Birkoff stared at Nikita now. She hadn't missed any of her classes for the three months that she had been attending, and that was even with severe morning sickness during the first three weeks.

"Is something wrong, Nikita?" Birkoff questioned as he entered the room. Her eyes looked so far away. It wasn't uncommon look, for when Nikita thought about Michael a lot, her eyes looked like that. Nikita started to shake her head back and forth.

It only seemed to indicate that Nikita was trying to hide something.

"No... the checkup went fine... I just have to go get the vitamins tomorrow..." Nikita stated and Birkoff nodded his head. Nikita rubbed her hands and Birkoff looked closer to Nikita.

"Well... do you want to go late to class? I thought you had to register for your Lamaze class today..." Birkoff stated and Nikita looked to Birkoff and turned away. She didn't speak. She just sat there and Birkoff frowned.

"Nikita?" Birkoff called out and Nikita jumped once again as she heard Birkoff's voice. She blinked her eyes and then stood up.

"I forgot... you need dinner..." Nikita stated as she started to move towards the door. Birkoff moved forward and placed his hands on Nikita's shoulders.

"You didn't eat?" Birkoff questioned. This was probably one of the biggest challenges. Although Nikita appeared to be pregnant, her diet was everywhere. Some days Nikita just wouldn't eat and Birkoff was worried about Nikita.

"It isn't time," Nikita stated and Birkoff blinked his eyes.

"I'm late from work, Nikita. It is almost 8 o'clock," Birkoff stated and Nikita blinked her eyes and stepped backwards. Nikita looked over her shoulder and moved to the bed. Birkoff heard the tears and swallowed. Rarely, when Nikita was crying, could you get her to eat afterwards.

"I'll make you a cheese sandwich, Nikita..." Birkoff stated as he walked out of the room.

~~

"Walter... I'm really worried about her," Birkoff stated into the phone as he sat on the back porch. It was easily past midnight, and Nikita was still up in her room. Sleep in the house was at a premium, Birkoff always waiting for Nikita to be settled in before he dared to sleep. Most often, he would fall asleep on the couch.

"She is pregnant, Birkoff..." Walter stated. It was the most common thing that Walter would tell Birkoff. Sometimes, Walter wasn't sure if it sunk into Birkoff's head that Nikita was truly going to have a baby and that people at the firm were going to call him the proud father.

It was twisted. But it gave Nikita's and Michael's child a life.

"I think she is hiding something, Walter. She doesn't let me go to the doctor's appointments..." Birkoff stated and Walter sighed as he looked at the empty hallways of Section One. He chewed lightly on his bottom lip, wondering if he should let the information pass in both directions.

"Look, I think something is wrong, Walter. She was so dazed when I walked in today... And she didn't know that several hours had passed," Birkoff firmly stated and Walter closed his eyes.

He had a bad feeling about all of this.

"And the checkup went fine?" Walter questioned and Birkoff sighed.

"That is what she told me," Birkoff stated, but it was clear that Birkoff did not believe what he said, or that he didn't know that it was the truth.

Truth be told, Michael was starting to worry about Nikita also. She never spoke of the baby when they wrote and she never told Michael how she was doing. Clearly, whatever information Michael got from Nikita was being pulled out by Michael skillfully, probably making Nikita angry with him until she spilled some details.

"Well... how does she look?" Walter questioned and Birkoff rolled his head as he looked towards the house.

"Remember when we were all worried because she was underweight?" Birkoff questioned and Walter nodded his head. Madeline had been extremely worried about this fact. It continued to be a topic of recent discussion.

"I would say in the past month... she has moved to normal..." Birkoff stated. Walter felt relief and then he frowned lightly. He wondered if that was good.

"I would force her to do more things with you Birkoff... What is she... almost done with her fifth month?" Walter questioned and Birkoff nodded his head as he stared at the half moon.

"About five days away from starting the sixth month," Birkoff stated and Walter sighed.

"Stay by her, Birkoff... I wouldn't accuse her... but if things get worse... I'll tell Madeline..." Walter stated and Birkoff sighed in relief. He didn't want to be the only one that was worrying about this.

Walter hung up the phone and looked as Michael trudged in with his team. He dropped the weapons. Walter turned away.

He couldn't face Michael now. He would only feed into Michael's worries.

*

"Seymour?" Linda called out as she walked down the hallway. She looked at the partially opened door and then slowly walked in. Birkoff lifted his head and looked at Linda. He looked so tired and Linda was sure that it wasn't due to work.

The issue now was that Linda was worried about Nikita. At first, Nikita didn't go to the Friday dinners because of morning sickness. Now Nikita had mysteriously disappeared, although Birkoff often gushed about her and how well they were doing.

"Yes, Linda?" Birkoff questioned and Linda pulled a chair back towards Birkoff's desk. She slowly crossed her legs and looked at Birkoff.

"Is something wrong with Nikita?" Linda questioned and Birkoff tried to smile, to shrug it off. The fact was, here it was, almost into her seventh month of pregnancy, and none of Birkoff's worries had ease. Madeline stated that unless Birkoff could give her more information that she simply didn't want to intervene. Birkoff then countered that maybe Nikita just needed more time with Michael.

Well, that suggestion sunk before it was out of Birkoff's mouth.

"She is just tired... and still working a lot," Birkoff stated, trying to play it off. Linda sighed and looked at Birkoff.

"I was hoping that she would join us for dinner this Friday. I can't wait to see her... Plus, isn't she having a baby shower?" Linda stated and Birkoff blinked his eyes. Now these were two different issues and Birkoff told himself to slow down. It was one of the things about being with Nikita for so many months. She helped him with problems where he had to break down what was being said and questioned of him.

"First... yes, she is coming to dinner on Friday," Birkoff stated, although he hadn't been talking to Nikita about this. However, if Birkoff had too, he would bring Madeline into the fray on this one, knowing that it was for the good of the mission that Nikita got back into the Friday night dinners.

"I can't wait to see her. I think you said she was huge!" Linda exclaimed and Birkoff laughed lightly. He loved Linda's positive attitude and hoped that on Friday, some of it would rub off on Nikita. She needed a dose of positive feelings.

"I think she feels too big right now. She was so thin before..." Birkoff stated with a slight flush over his face. The fact was he was starting to worry that Nikita was getting too big.

"You just have to tell her good things... She needs to feel like she is being cherished," Linda stated to Birkoff. He dropped his head and then sipped at his coffee for a second. He placed the cup down and sighed for a second.

"Linda... as for the baby shower... I don't think we are having one. She never really made friends here... and she has no sisters..." Birkoff stated and Linda opened her mouth in shock.

"That can't be right! Everyone new mother needs to have a shower! How would you have anything for the baby?" Linda questioned and Birkoff sighed. He had plenty for the nursery and the baby. Nikita had been hitting the internet with funds from Section One that Birkoff was sure that she was skimming off of. Everything had to be done so carefully, since Operations still did not know of Nikita's condition. Now it was decided that the best thing for mother and child was to wait until the child was born to tell Operations.

"Linda... We haven't even really be in contact with anyone from where we were from... It was just easier for us to come here. Nikita wants nothing to do with them... And my family simply doesn't care..." Birkoff stated as he looked down at the desk. Linda opened her mouth and then shut it.

She had forgotten about that. Nikita was engaged to Seymour Hayes' older brother, but then fell in love with Seymour. Linda thought that a child would change that dynamic somewhat, but it appeared as if Nikita and Seymour were literally alone.

"Isn't there someone? I mean, I will do the baby shower, but isn't there one person we can invite?" Linda questioned and Birkoff smiled. Linda was a kind woman. She really didn't even know Nikita and she was going to do a baby shower for Nikita. But now Birkoff was being challenged. If he didn't name one person, he was going to be getting into some trouble. He could say anyone at this point, but Birkoff certainly didn't want just any operative being sent in to fill the spot.

"When Nikita went to college for a year... as an English major... There was a professor there that befriended her. In fact, she witnessed our wedding," Birkoff offered and Linda leaned forward and smiled.

"Her name?" Linda said as she pulled out a piece of paper.

"Madeline... I can get you the address in a day or two... whenever I can get Nikita off the computer," Birkoff stated and Linda smiled. It was clear that she was pleased with the information.

"I'm sure that Nikita would enjoy seeing her again," Linda stated and Birkoff wanted to bite his lip.

"I'm sure she will be more than excited," Birkoff lied. Nikita was going to be more than angry.

~~

"I don't want to go to dinner, Birkoff!" Nikita screamed as she slammed her door shut. The tears were pouring down her face. There were too many things going on right now for Nikita to feel comfortable going out to dinner.

She felt huge.

She had pimples all over her face.

The baby still hadn't kicked.

She felt huge.

"Nikita... this isn't exactly a choice. Madeline agrees with me!" Birkoff shouted through the door and Nikita shook her head. She rubbed her head slightly.

"I don't care!" Nikita screamed back and Birkoff shook his head. He lifted the phone to his ear and swallowed lightly.

"Did you hear that Walter?" Birkoff questioned. He only got a response of Walter laughing deeply. Birkoff stepped away from the door and sighed.

"Walter! You are supposed to help me!" Birkoff hissed as he flopped down on the bed. He pulled the pillow over his lap and leaned forward. They were to be in the restaurant in twenty minutes to meet Linda, Keith, Steve, Tashia, Dave, and Nicole. Birkoff literally had no time for Nikita's temper tantrum and Walter's laughter.

"Birkoff... pregnant women do this! It's the hormones!" Walter exclaimed. He had listened for months about how Nikita was acting. It did bother Walter to a point, until he remembered that Nikita was almost seven months pregnant. Until Birkoff gave more proof of something else being wrong, Walter couldn't go to Madeline about every complaint. She already felt that Walter had come to her too often.

"Walter... this is more... I have never seen Nikita to become so undone," Birkoff sighed as he tried to explain. It felt as if no one could identify with what Birkoff had been viewing and living with. Everyone claimed it as hormones.

"Well... force Nikita to take you to the doctor's the next time... Tell her that it is for the sake of the mission. That way you will find out!" Walter stated and Birkoff leaned back up and crashed his head back against the couch.

"She won't tell me when she is going to go next!" Birkoff hissed and Walter sighed. He didn't know how was worse, Nikita or Birkoff.

Birkoff heard the bedroom door slam again and Nikita appeared with a bag in her hand.

"Aren't we going to be late?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff shook his head. Nikita looked at Birkoff and then looked at her black dress.

She felt huge.

She felt like a big hot air balloon.

Her face was broken out everywhere.

Her body was jittery.

She didn't feel good.

"I thought you said you weren't going?" Birkoff questioned as he folded the phone. He stood up and picked up his keys.

"I have to do this for the mission," Nikita stated dryly. Birkoff opened the door and grabbed Nikita's arm, to steady her. Nikita wrenched it away and looked at Birkoff.

"I can walk down the stairs myself!" Nikita hissed and Birkoff rolled his eyes. He didn't know if he would live during the dinner.

~~

Nikita pushed her plate forward and folded her hands on the table. No one seemed to notice but Birkoff, but he did not speak. The women were all gushing with how good Nikita looked. She didn't believe them.

"So, I guess the baby is kicking all the time now... I know that when I had my first child, I could watch my stomach move with the kicks and elbows I got," Tashia stated and Nikita smiled softly. She dropped her head and rubbed her hands across her stomach.

"Actually... the baby hasn't started to kick yet," Nikita stated and Birkoff turned and looked at Nikita. When Nikita kissed his lips, he realized that he probably looked terrified and that he was supposed to go along with Nikita on this one. He had just assumed that the baby had started to kick and Nikita chose not to allow Birkoff in on that joy.

"Not yet! My babies all started on exactly the five-month mark. What are you, now? Seven months?" Nicole questioned as she picked at her spare rib. Nikita smiled and took Birkoff's hand in hers.

"I'm six and a half months. They said that it is normal and not to worry," Nikita stated and Linda blinked her eyes. None of this sounded good.

"But aren't you worried? Maybe you should see a specialist... Or at least get out of that huge practice you are in..." Tashia stated out in bitter words. Birkoff felt Nikita's hand squeeze his tightly and he leaned over and kissed Nikita this time.

"Actually, we are taken care of pretty well. And from what knowledge we did get from Nikita's family... Nikita never kicked her mother... Some babies just don't kick," Birkoff joined in for the explanation, knowing that it was needed to get off of the topic.

But this was definitely something that Nikita was going to have to explain to him when they got home. And something that gave Birkoff the needed proof that something was wrong. He didn't believe his words and he didn't believe Nikita's words.

"But it must seem like the baby is just using you as an incubator. You must want that baby to kick so badly... To make it known..." Nicole stated and Nikita just smiled and nervously moved her hands back and forth.

"Nikita... didn't you like your dinner?" Linda questioned as she looked at Nikita's plate. Nikita looked down and then up at the table that was staring at her. This was awful for Nikita. She already was self-conscious about how big she looked and now everyone was staring at her like she was a sideshow at the circus.

"Actually.. you can ask Seymour... I nibble at home all the time..." Nikita excused her almost full plate. She had eaten the vegetables and Birkoff rolled his head.

"Yes... on vegetables... Why don't you try some of the steak, Nikita? It was actually wonderful," Birkoff stated and Nikita looked at him. Her stern look gave way to a tense smile as she patted his hand.

"I had some... don't you see, darling?" Nikita questioned as she pushed the potatoes away from the meat to expose one little piece that she had taken.

"That is probably why you are still anemic, Nikita!" Birkoff stated and Nikita looked at him. If he only knew...

"Seymour... I'm perfectly stuff... and if you excuse me... my bladder just isn't as big as it used to be..." Nikita stated as she pushed away from the table and moved. Birkoff looked over his shoulder as Nikita left.

"Women and their hormones during pregnancy!" Steve commented as he laughed deeply. He was not one of the more modern of the men that Birkoff knew. But Birkoff didn't put much thought into his words. Birkoff was worried.

He had learned more about what was going on with Nikita from just one dinner than he had in weeks of trying to figure things out. He wondered what else was Nikita hiding from him.

"Steve..." Tashia stated as she rolled her eyes. She looked towards the bathroom and smiled at Birkoff, trying not to worry Birkoff. It didn't matter; Nikita was already making Birkoff scared deeply.

"I'm going to go to... before desert..." Linda stated as she stood up.

Birkoff stared off at Linda walked away. He didn't care what Linda found out this point; Birkoff was going to get the truth. He just hoped that Nikita had to go shopping tomorrow.

*

Nikita stared at her computer. The profiles had continued to come in, over and over again, since her pregnancy. It was Madeline's work for her. She worked smoothly. But each week, there seemed to be more for Nikita to do, and just not enough time.

The headache was constant for Nikita.

The worry was constant for Nikita.

She had been in front of the computer since she woke up at four in the morning to go to the bathroom. She just wanted to get the work done. Now though, Birkoff was starting to hover around her. He wanted her to go meet with Linda at the mall, to buy some baby clothes.

Like Nikita hadn't gotten enough of them yet through the mail and internet. Birkoff had just sighed and stated that it was for the good of the mission.

Nikita didn't believe him.

"Nikita... Linda called. She said she would meet you there..." Birkoff stated as he walked into the bedroom, the portable phone in his hand. Nikita lifted her head and swallowed. She did not want to go. She also didn't want to fight with Birkoff either.

"Birkoff, I'm tired. I've been up since four," Nikita stated and Birkoff looked to his watch.

"That would be only six hours, Nikita. Just go. For a few hours," Birkoff pushed Nikita. Nikita leaned her head back once more and Birkoff sighed. Nikita was going to say no, once again.

"No, Birkoff... I don't feel like shopping... let alone, I don't want to go with Linda," Nikita hissed out and Birkoff turned around in a full circle. It was clear that Birkoff wanted her to go. Nikita looked around the desk, trying to figure out something that only she could do. Birkoff could do the profiles. Nikita knew that and there was a history of Birkoff doing them for her.

"I am not asking you to stay out all day, I'm just asking that you go for an hour, Nikita... You need to get out of the house," Birkoff urged Nikita. She slapped her hands against the desk as she blew a puff of air into her bangs.

"I was out at the doctor this week, Birkoff. I don't have to go anywhere else!" Nikita shouted and Birkoff dropped to the floor of her bedroom. Nikita lowered her eyes, not amused with Birkoff's technique. "Get off the floor, Birkoff!"

"NO!" Birkoff shouted back and Nikita's eyes flared with anger.

"What do you mean no?" Nikita questioned and Birkoff leaned back and stared at Nikita.

"I'm just acting the same way you are Nikita. Thinking about yourself and acting like a child. Not worrying about the mission at all. All you are being is a KID! KID! KID!" Birkoff shouted back and Nikita looked at Birkoff. She was positively stunned with Birkoff's words. In fact, she was speechless as she shook her head back and forth, trying to form some sort of full sentence to respond to Birkoff.

"YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A KID AND I AM SICK OF IT!" Birkoff screamed, but he wasn't ready for what would happen. He had expected Nikita to get upset, to prove that she wasn't acting like a child, that she would go out and meet Linda.

Instead, Nikita started to cry.

"Nikita..." Birkoff stated as he tried to reach out towards her. Nikita looked at him and wiped at her tears.

"I better go. I am upsetting the man of the house," Nikita announced as she picked up her purse and stormed out of the house. Birkoff rolled his eyes and swallowed.

That definitely didn't go as he wanted it too. But at least, he now had the chance to move around Nikita's room without Nikita looking at his every move.

The first thing Birkoff did was sign off the profile that Nikita was working on. He sat down and looked around the room. Nikita couldn't be too creative trying to hide things, she just couldn't move as she once used to move around. The big stomach did hamper that.

Birkoff did blame himself for not looking sooner. He had ample opportunities a couple months ago, but now, as Nikita seemed to be hiding more, of course she was more protective of those things that she hid. Now, Birkoff didn't know how long he had, but he had to find something.

There had to be an answer to what was going on with Nikita.

Birkoff sighed for a second, trying to gather his thoughts about how to tackle this problem. He knew that with just what he found out last night, about the baby not kicking yet, he had enough to be worried about. However, Madeline's words from the previous times lingered in his mind. He needed proof.

Birkoff glanced at the picture of the ultrasound. The baby was so small then. It couldn't be identified as a particular sex. Birkoff wasn't even sure if Nikita had asked for that information. He didn't even know if she started to think about names yet. Madeline had said something that she would help with the name. Birkoff reached his hand out and pulled the picture up.

That was when he saw the bottles, made out to Nikita Hayes. Birkoff didn't hesitate. This was proof. This was something that was definitely wrong. Pregnant women took vitamins; they didn't take prescription drugs for no reason. Birkoff was aware of Nikita being placed on a strong iron supplement, but he didn't know about these bottles. He strummed his fingers nervously on the desk as he waited for Walter.

"Hello, Birkoff... Nikita still yelling at you today?" Walter answered the phone and Birkoff blinked his eyes. He was crying. He wished that all he had to deal with were Nikita's emotions.

"Walter... is Madeline there?" Birkoff immediately asked. This was against Birkoff's other approaches. It had been in the past Birkoff explaining to Walter what was going on before demanding before talking to Madeline.

"Birkoff... she needs proof..." Walter stated as he looked out the hallway. Madeline was right there if needed.

"Would prescription drugs to Nikita Hayes be proof enough?" Birkoff hissed out as he stood up from the desk and started to pace.

"DAMN!" Walter shouted as he placed the phone down. He walked out in the hallway and got Madeline's attention. He didn't need to do anything more than wave his hand back towards the area. Madeline tilted her head around, seeing who was around and then followed Walter. "Birkoff found some drugs."

"Put him on a speaker," Madeline ordered and Walter picked up the phone again. He hurried and then turned to Madeline.

"Birkoff... we are on speaker. I hope this is not a wild goose chase..." Madeline stated out firmly. Walter rung his hands together and Madeline stared at him. She didn't want to say that this didn't sound good.

"Madeline... I found the pills... I can't even say the name... Why would Nikita need pills?" Birkoff demanded and Madeline winced. Birkoff was losing his cool right now, and it definitely was not needed. What Madeline wanted to know was how these pills didn't show up on the expense reports. Nikita was getting creative and she was hiding things.

"I don't want to speculate, Birkoff... I need more information," Madeline spoke and Walter rolled his eyes. Madeline not giving Birkoff any sort of answers was not going to serve in keeping Birkoff working for them. He was worried for Nikita and the baby.

"Madeline, I have been giving you information for weeks. I got proof... NOW DO SOMETHING!" Birkoff hollered and Walter looked to Madeline.

"Birkoff... I'm sure that there is a perfect explanation... I'm going to give you another number to call... Can you get a piece of paper out?" Madeline questioned as she looked to Walter. He stared at her and sighed underneath his breath, "Pregnancy-Induced-Hypertension."

Birkoff sat down at the desk, staring at the bottles of pills. He opened up the drawer and stopped as he saw the glint of the needles. He looked down and then looked back up as he cleared his throat.

"What is it Birkoff?" Madeline questioned, picking up on the noise.

"I found needles..." Birkoff whispered and Madeline closed her eyes. Walter saw the reaction in Madeline. He saw that this was going from bad to hell and quickly.

"Birkoff... I want you to look in that drawer more... Look in boxes... in anything that can hide anything else..." Walter commanded, taking over for Madeline as she pulled a stool over and sat down. She was rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

Birkoff was afraid to look anymore. He was terrified of what else he would find. He didn't think about medical problems that needles would help with. Birkoff's mind was caught up with the illicit drugs that poured into his mind. He touched the box of disks and was about to pass over them when there was a sound of glass knocking against each other. Birkoff opened the box and rolled out the vials.

"I have insulin," Birkoff stated and Walter closed his eyes.

"It would be for gestational diabetes, Birkoff," Madeline responded as she pulled her hands away from her face. She looked to Walter and closed her eyes more.

"Would that be a reason why the baby isn't kicking yet?" Birkoff questioned with a rush. His heart started to pound as he heard the dual gasps on the other end of the telephone. He bit his lips and swallowed. "Tell me!"

"I'm not a doctor, Birkoff... I wish you would have told us," Madeline stated as she thought about this.

"Tell you! I have been telling you that something was wrong!" Birkoff shouted out as he placed the items back. He did not want Nikita finding out that he knew. Birkoff decided to avoid that trouble until Madeline ordered him otherwise.

"You never stated that the baby hadn't kicked yet. Didn't it occur to you about two months ago that the baby should have been kicking?" Madeline hissed. Birkoff hadn't found a glucose monitor, which meant that Madeline couldn't find out if the diabetes had been placed under control. Uncontrolled gestational diabetes was something that Madeline didn't want to deal with, but she just had this feeling.

"Madeline... I tried... I'm not a doctor... I'm not even a field operative... What do I do now?" Birkoff questioned and Madeline looked at Walter. She truly needed more medical information.

"Walter... get me my gear... I'll go get the medical files," Michael stated from the doorway. Madeline looked at Michael as he walked through the area, a stern look on his face. Madeline could sense directly whom Michael was blaming for this mess and it wasn't Nikita or Birkoff.

"I'll call you back with more instructions... We will probably have to attempt to pull Nikita out once we have more information, Birkoff," Madeline stated and cut the line. Walter looked as Michael moved to the back, pulling at the night vision goggles.

"Can't gestational diabetes lead to stillbirths?" Walter questioned and Madeline's eyes flared. It was simple direction left for Walter.

Don't repeat that to Michael.

It didn't matter. Michael already knew that.

*

Nikita dropped the bags on the floor and turned around to close the door. Nikita looked at the bags and rubbed her stomach slightly as she thought about picking the bags up and carrying them into her room. It was easily decided that she was not going to pick them up. Birkoff was probably not far away to be ready to bug her once again.

The shopping trip was a nightmare and Nikita had been planning ways of torturing Birkoff for the long three hours she spent with the rambling Linda. It appeared as if Linda has now appointed herself the protector of Nikita's baby, which Nikita did not take well.

These were all reasons why she had thought about the abortion earlier. Everyone knew things that Nikita didn't and she couldn't pretend that she knew how to be a mother. Nikita didn't know when other babies started to kick. She didn't know that she was getting too big. All Nikita knew is that she was having some other problems that she couldn't allow Section One find out about, because they were going to find out that Michael was wrong. She can't be a mother.

Nikita wiped at the tears that rolled down her face and moved towards her room. She wondered where Birkoff was, but was not going to seek him out. She didn't need another lecture on what she should and should not be doing. One a day was enough for Nikita.

Right now, all Nikita wanted to do was return all the baby things and pretend that she wasn't going to have one. She didn't want it now.

"Birkoff!" Nikita screamed as she turned the corner and found him sitting at the computer, typing. He looked up at Nikita's shocked face and focused on the tears. He winced, knowing now what he had done to her so he could search her room. But it was not that he wasn't glad that he found what he did. The plans were now in place for the next day and Michael was going to find out more information from Nikita's medical records.

"Sorry... I was trying to catch these reports up for you," Birkoff stated as he stared at the computer. He looked up and saved the file that he was working on and turned the computer off. Nikita had moved from her doorway and to the bed. She settled her body down and rubbed her hands across her stomach once again.

How Nikita wished the baby would just kick right now!

"Is there a reason? Is Madeline upset that I'm behind?" Nikita fretted as she rubbed her hands together and leaned back. She tossed her hair back and forth to stare at Birkoff. Birkoff saw the tears still floating in Nikita's eyes. There was a part of Birkoff that wanted to know what Linda had said to Nikita. There was a part of Birkoff that wished that Linda actually made sense to Nikita, but rationally that was something Birkoff knew would happen. The only hope that Birkoff had in this situation was that of Madeline's plan.

"Actually... I have orders from Madeline for you to meet Michael at some diner," Birkoff said as he handed the piece of paper over to Nikita. He watched as her blue eyes opened wide when she noticed the location of the diner. It was quite far.

"Why?" Nikita questioned as she placed the paper next to her.

"I really wasn't told. She told me to make sure you were packed for three to four days... Maybe she is giving you sometime with Michael like you have been asking," Birkoff offered as an explanation. Nikita frowned slightly and then rubbed a hand over her head.

"Or this is some sort of set up," Nikita stated and Birkoff rolled his eyes. Nikita was always the consummate operative, always looking for the plan or set up. It was sort of a set up, a set up to get Nikita to a specialist, but not like the set up that Nikita was thinking about, or should she worry about.

"You can always try to contact Michael tonight... I know that Madeline stated that he was out on a mission early this evening, but you are always up late..." Birkoff offered as he handed the writing communications device over to Nikita. she stared at it and set it on the bed.

"Actually... I am tired, thanks to Linda," Nikita stated wryly. Birkoff winced. He had a feeling that Nikita was now going to vent what Linda did to her, and knowing Linda, she probably acted as if she was Nikita's mother.

"Well... let me get you something to eat... and you can tell me what Linda did," Birkoff offered as he stood up. Nikita started to shake her head as she tried to speak. She couldn't even form words and Nikita swore at herself. She needed to get everything under control. It would be pointless to try to maintain that everything was fine if she couldn't even tell Birkoff that she had eaten already.

"No, Birkoff," Nikita finally trembled out with an unsteady voice. Birkoff turned and stared at her. The worries were of what happened if Nikita didn't eat and what did that to do blood sugar. Birkoff looked up to the ceiling, trying to ignore that he knew that fact about Nikita.

"Did Linda make you eat?" Birkoff questioned and Nikita nodded her head. Linda made her eat so much. It all started out with smoothies. Then she wanted French fries. Nikita was sure if she didn't determinedly place her foot down to buy something for the baby, that she would have only crossed the mall because she ate her way across.

"Birkoff... I know you like her..." Nikita started out as she rolled her head around. She felt so bad. She felt stuff. Her stomach was churning and the headache was just pounding. Plus, Nikita knew that in the morning that she would have to drive almost three hours.

"I work with her, Nikita... And she is going to put together you baby shower," Birkoff stated and he watched Nikita's face fall. She attempted to blink her eyes, but instead, pushed her body up off of the bed to move closer to Birkoff.

"What baby shower?" Nikita questioned, sounding upset, although tears were running out of her eyes at the moment.

"Every mother needs to have a baby shower, Nikita. Linda was kind enough to say that she would pull it together," Birkoff replied and Nikita shuddered.

This was not something that Nikita wanted. She was having a difficult time with accepting that she could be a good mother, unlike her mother. The rules of biology and genetics played in Nikita's head over and over again, saying that she was going to hurt her child just like her mother hurt her. No matter how much self-worth and self-esteem that Michael had attempted to give Nikita, she did not feel that she was satisfactory material to be a mother. All she had was the biology equipment to give forth a child. In ways, Nikita almost liked the thought that more than likely Section One would take her child and give it to another family.

It was one way in which Nikita saw hope that she would not hurt her child.

"I DON'T WANT A BABY SHOWER!" Nikita bellowed as she threw her hands against Birkoff's chest. She pounded at him and then turned around in a circle.

"Who even said I wanted this child, Birkoff?" Nikita hissed as she looked to her stomach. She wanted to know where the body she once knew had gone. She wanted to know what happened to the confidence that she once developed had run off too. Nikita wondered where her true self was hiding in this mess that had become her life. She felt like a human incubator to a child that was not responding to anything.

And whom did she blame?

Herself.

"Nikita... I'm sure it is just because you miss Michael so badly," Birkoff pointed out as Nikita stepped back into her room. She stared at him and shook her head.

"I don't ever want to come out of my room. Not for you! Not for Michael! Not for this baby! I want this to be over!" Nikita shouted.

Birkoff didn't believe the words. He looked at the door as Nikita slammed it into his face and was sure that all of this was an attempt to spare herself pain if there truly as something wrong with the baby. She was running scared, as she did at the beginning. Only this time, the dangers were getting worse for mother and child.

~~

Michael looked down the alley and then stared at the door. It was a simple security measure here. It was nothing that would take long to get into. He adjusted his communications unit and placed the box over the panel for the security code.

"Which doctor am I looking for?" Michael questioned as he watched the numbers cycle through on his device. He wasn't as impatient as his heart would have indicated as it raced quickly inside of him. All he could think about was what he would see on these files.

"She doesn't have one doctor. She gets whatever doctor is open when she goes," Madeline stated with some spite in her words. It was a system that thousands of mothers go through, but it was not a system that Madeline agreed on. It was a system that led to this current situation. Madeline was sure that the doctors weren't even talking to each other about Nikita's case.

The lock popped open and Michael pulled the device into his hand. Slowly, he emerged into the pitch-black basement hallway and closed the door behind him. He shoved the device into his pocket and pulled down his goggles. He moved slowly as he carefully looked at the surroundings around him. The entire building was own by the practice. There was equipment everywhere.

"All you need is one of the computers, Michael. All of their computers are networked together," Madeline spoke and Michael nodded his head as he turned the corner into the first room. At first he thought he would have had to continue on up, but he stopped.

"Don't we need the paper files?" Michael questioned as he turned the computer on and waited for the system to boot up. Michael pulled a chair over and sat down.

"They put all their reports on the computer... You will be heading upstairs for her chart and video once we get this information... It will tell us where to look," Madeline directed Michael. He looked at the screen as it popped up.

"There is no password?" Michael questioned as he placed his hands down on the keyboard and typed in Nikita Hayes into the database.

"They are doctors that have no notion of who is out there, Michael," Madeline stated as she heard his work progress slowly. Michael looked around the office as the computer retrieved the information about Nikita.

"I got it," Michael stated as he pulled out his hand held cameral and lifted it to the screen also. He was submitting the visual data to Madeline also to examine.

"There is the anemia..." Madeline stated as Michael scrolled down the screen. Michael was trying not to focus on the details on the notes. He was allowing Madeline to view it.

"And there is the pregnancy-induced-hypertension..." Madeline whispered as she whistled. "It started so early... damn..."

Madeline was cursing herself. There were no other reasons for Nikita to be having such a harsh pregnancy other than the callous environment of Section One and what they required of their operatives. Madeline in fact, blamed herself. She was going to suspend Nikita's work at home, but Nikita had talked her into continuing on the basis that Operations might get suspicious if it suddenly ceased.

Michael placed the disk into the drive. He was going to need a copy of the file to give to Dr. Kindles when they get to her. Michael continued to scroll down, trying not to pay attention to Madeline's comments.

"Ok... and there is the diabetes... damn..." Madeline hissed again. Michael closed his eyes. diabetes in pregnancy was dangerous, but not unheard of. In most cases, mother and child were fine. But there were cases, where the blood sugar never stabilized that there were complications. Including the one that all were afraid at this point about.

Stillbirth.

"Michael.... look for the ultrasounds... and they should have done an amniocentesis..." Madeline ordered Michael. He dropped his head to look at the screen, trying to feel nothing. He looked down the screen and then scrolled back up.

"The only ultrasound listed here was at seven weeks, Madeline," Michael reported with a stressed voice. He wanted to know how Nikita could not have cared about what was happening. Nikita was so pleased with seeing the child on the ultrasound that Michael was sure that she was going to ask for many of them, not forget about them.

"Michael... you must be wrong... Go onto the next screen for Nikita... Under tests..." Madeline ordered and Michael moved the mouse and highlighted the area that Madeline indicated. Michael waited for the slow computer to respond and almost felt relief when the new screen came up filled with lots of entries.

It didn't last long.

"Those are all blood work... for the anemia... and a few for the diabetes... Damn... they don't even realize how uncontrolled the diabetes is," Madeline condemned as her voice took on a strong distaste for the doctors that Nikita had been entrusted too.

"This is bad?" Michael questioned as he pulled the screen down. There was no other information, which meant that it didn't exist.

"The least there should be is another ultrasound... if not two. The baby was small on the first one and they should have scheduled an amniocentesis right away..." Madeline stated out in frustration. Michael wanted to do some damage to these doctors, but he simply turned the computer off and turned to leave the way he had come.

"This is going to make it difficult," Michael stated.

He didn't need to be told.

*

The tension was in Nikita's neck as she rolled it to the side. The car rolled into the parking spot as Nikita ordered herself to open her eyes and look at the diner that she finally made it too. With a rolled to Nikita's right, Nikita looked at the diner and rolled her eyes.

It wasn't a dump.

It wasn't nice either.

Nikita swallowed back the feeling of acid churning in her stomach and the jitters that she had gotten used to feeling. Once upon the time she knew that it meant that she had something wrong with her blood sugar. She didn't remember if it was because of too much or not enough. Nikita pushed those thoughts away as she hitched her hair behind her ear and opened her car door.

She didn't see Michael.

They were supposed to meet in the parking lot, but Nikita was about ten minutes early. She couldn't just stand there in the parking lot for ten minutes without drawing attention to herself. She had already drawn attention to herself as she stepped out, her stomach well ahead of everything else.

The bells on the door loudly clanked as Nikita opened the door to the diner. It wasn't smoky as Nikita expected it too. It was actually, quite quaint and not very busy. The people that appeared to be there for breakfast all appeared to be regulars and Nikita moved to the right, seeing a sitting area that had chairs near the counter that wouldn't be hard to sit on.

"Hello, girlie... anything I can you and your child?" The older woman with a bad red dye job questioned as she chomped at her gum and twirled her pencil in the air. Nikita looked at the menu and felt her stomach churn. She hated feeling like this and just wanted something to calm her stomach.

"I large milk..." Nikita stated and the woman nodded her head.

"Anything to eat with that?" The older woman questioned with a wink and a smile. This was another thing that Nikita did not particularly like. Everyone assumed that they knew something best about Nikita's health.

"No... I'm fine... Can I get that milk heated some though?" Nikita questioned and the woman looked to her pad. She jotted something down on the paper and then peered back up at Nikita.

"Are you sure? Nothing to eat?" The woman questioned again and Nikita swallowed. She was ready to pound the woman a knuckle sandwich. Nikita truly had lost her patience these days.

"She'll take a ham, mushroom, and cheese omelet... a fruit plate, toast, and jelly... Oh... and some orange juice..." Michael stated as he placed a hand on Nikita's shoulder. Nikita closed her eyes and dropped her head. She turned to look at Michael.

"I just need something to drink, Michael. I ate on the road," Nikita lied and Michael blinked his eyes. He held a small video camera up and looked at Nikita.

"I was behind you, darling... I know you didn't eat..." Michael whispered into Nikita's ear. She looked to the side and Michael smiled at the waitress.

"You can make mine the same... and I'll have some coffee... And we'll be in the corner booth," Michael ordered. The waitress chomped on her gum some as she looked at Michael and then back to Nikita. Michael slid his hand into Nikita's hand and started to pull her towards the corner. Nikita was shaking her head along the way and sighed heavily as she sat down in the booth.

"Madeline said we were to meet... she didn't say we were to eat..." Nikita stated out as she lifted her blue eyes and looked at Michael. She felt the jitters coming again and immediately closing her eyes, trying to pull herself together.

"I think it is important for a mother to eat... and to eat properly," Michael stated as he sat down in the booth and looked at Nikita. Seeing her did so much more to Michael. All the reports from Birkoff and Walter didn't matter. Seeing her like this. Seeing her hands tremble and Nikita denying that she needed to eat was the biggest proof of there being something wrong.

"You know, Michael... Maybe I didn't eat on the road... but I had a decided breakfast before I left the house..." Nikita stated and Michael looked for the waitress who as now flirting with one of the regulars. Michael looked at Nikita and tilted his head, waiting for Nikita to look at him. It took a significant amount of time, but Nikita soon cocked her head and stared at him.

"Is that a proper diet for a diabetic mother? Aren't you supposed to eat small meals... and nibble?" Michael questioned and Nikita stared at him and then dropped her head away. She was caught, but she wasn't ready to give up on the hope that Michael didn't know.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Michael... There is nothing wrong with me..." Nikita stated as she started to fidget her hands back and forth. Michael reached for them and pulled out a glucose monitor and placed it on the table.

"Want to prove it?" Michael questioned. Nikita jerked her hand back and placed them underneath the table. She stared out the window.

"So?" Nikita questioned as she looked back to Michael. She was trying to play it off. Trying to make it seem like it was nothing. But Michael knew better.

"Nikita... didn't they teach you how you were supposed to eat? I know of the insulin... that means that you haven't been able to control the diabetes..." Michael stated out as Nikita's bottom lip started to tremble. The tears were about to fall once again, and Nikita leaned her head back as pretending that it was a motion to toss her hair around.

"They said I could go to class... I wasn't doing very good in the parenting class... everyone was so intelligent in comparisons... that I stopped going... I couldn't do that again," Nikita explained out as she stared at Michael. Michael was about to speak once more when the waitress moved towards them with the orders that Michael had given her.

"Ok... here are the omelets, fruit, toast, and orange juice... Coffee is brewing now..." the waitress stated as she winked at Michael. Nikita looked at the food and turned her head to the side. Maybe Michael thought that with his presence alone that he would get Nikita to eat, but it wasn't that easy. In fact, Michael was making Nikita more nervous and made her stomach churn more.

"Eat... then we'll sit here and hope that your sugar levels are fine..." Michael stated as he picked up his fork and speared it into the omelet. Nikita winced and dropped her fork.

"I'm not hungry... and you sure are making feel as inadequate as I possibly could be as a mother!" Nikita stated out with a hiss. Michael looked around, glad that they were several tables away from the nearest customer.

"Nikita... I know that this is all difficult, but the only thing that is happening here is a self-profiling prophecy... You think you aren't going to be a good mother so you are sabotaging yourself before you even get the chance..." Michael spoke out and Nikita winced. He was striking a cord with Nikita that was causing more tears to form. Nikita even stabbed her form into the fruit and bit into a strawberry. After swallowing she dropped the fork and stared at Michael.

"I don't do that Michael... I can't be a good mother... They should have just made me sterile so I don't inflict danger on children!" Nikita stated in a whisper and Michael closed his eyes. Her tone said it all. She believed all of that.

"Nikita... You have always been into these self-profiling prophecies... you once believed that you were ugly... so you never took the effort to find the beauty... You are going to be a wonderful mother if you give it a chance and take care of that child," Michael stated out and Nikita dropped her head and then caught her head with her hands. Michael reached over the table and saw the waitress walking towards him with the coffee. Michael shook his head, backing the waitress away as his hands rubbed in Nikita's silky hair.

"Nikita.... what is going on here?" Michael questioned. He knew of the medical issues. He knew how she needed to be seen by a specialist and that Nikita had to be educated about diet and food, but this was much more than that. There was a slight pressure as Nikita lifted her head to look at Michael.

"I can't do this, Michael... I'm all alone..." Nikita whispered and Michael shook his head.

"I'm right here."

"No... I mean... I have been all alone... Birkoff is no good to me.... He looks at me and I don't know if it is pain or sorrow or pity... and I just can't tell him things..." Nikita tried to explain. Michael reached over the plates and wiped at Nikita's eyes.

"Why? He is a good man. You have said that yourself," Michael issued and Nikita leaned her head back and then looked out the window. She looked out at the road and licked her lips.

"He isn't you, Michael.... I can't do this... I only want you... And I can't tell Birkoff my fears... he falls apart..." Nikita stated and Michael nodded his head. This was something that Michael never thought of. He was a stronger being that Birkoff. He thought that Nikita would be fine, but just with the way that Birkoff had handled this issue, showed that he was a different creature.

"Eat some... you really need too..." Michael stated as he picked up Nikita's fork and handed it towards her. Nikita's fingers slid over the fork and she stabbed at the omelet and took one solitary bit and then stared at Michael.

"Is something wrong?" Michael inquired as he finished chewing his slightly larger bit. He picked up his orange juice to wash down the food as he continued to stare at Nikita. She opened her eyes and then looked down towards her stomach.

"You know it all?" Nikita questioned and Michael looked at Nikita.

"I had to go get the medical files... We are going back to Dr. Kindles today," Michael stated and Nikita closed her eyes.

"I'm scared..." Nikita admitted as the tears began to fall again. Michael dropped his form and moved out of his side of the booth. He slid into Nikita's side and folded his arms around her. She sobbed lightly into his shoulder and Michael closed his eyes.

"It should have never gotten this far, Nikita... You should have at least told me," Michael stated as he rubbed at Nikita's shoulders. She attempted to pull her head up, to look at Michael, but it was impossible.

"It's a mission of a lifetime, Michael... Operations can still cancel you... or me... and take the baby away... I don't know what to do... Literally, Michael... No one gave me a manual on having a baby for a person who lived on the streets... No one told me that they trusted me.. that I could do this," Nikita sobbed out and Michael felt his heart break.

He should have been there for Nikita. It was easy to blame Madeline as he wanted too, but he couldn't do that any longer. He had a feeling about Nikita before she knew that she was pregnant and that nagging feeling had continued to grow. Michael had known all this time that something was wrong and didn't do anything.

He should have been proactive.

"Nikita... I know that sometime we are going to have to go through all of that... but we have to get a doctor... You need to be seen and assessed..." Michael stated and Nikita dropped her hands to her stomach. She sat there for a long while, staring at her hands.

"I think the baby hates me already... that it wasn't nothing to do with me... that... that..." Nikita confessed as she broke down. The words failed to express the pain that she did have. There was no need to tell Michael how worried she was. There was no need to tell the stories of some of the nights sitting there on her chair, with her hands stroking her stomach, waiting for the baby to kick.

Nikita was a good mother. There were just some failures in the people around her. They hadn't supported her and believed that she would do fine without more constant care. Madeline should have seen the shortcomings on that plan, but as Michael knew, it didn't matter now.

"Can you eat any of this, Nikita?" Michael questioned and Nikita tossed her head from side to side. Her emotions had banked too far off. There was no way that he could expect Nikita to eat now. There was only one thing he could do, and that was to get Nikita to Dr. Kindle.

"What are we going to tell the doctor?" Nikita questioned and Michael sighed. He had that profile outlined, although he wasn't very hopeful that Nikita was going to be able to stick with it.

"I'm not going to worry about it. I called her already and explained that we were always on the road... but that this was an emergency now... I described some of the problems and she told me to bring you in immediately..." Michael stated and Nikita nodded her head as she popped a grape into her mouth. Michael took Nikita's hand and kissed it. She was fidgeting, probably worrying about what she had done to the child now. There was no reason for Nikita to blame herself on this one, but Michael knew it was going to be problematic trying to explicate to Nikita that she wasn't the blame.

"We are going to take your car... we are only about an hour away..." Michael explained to Nikita as he rubbed at her neck slightly. Nikita continued to nod her head up and down. At this point, she was just glad that someone was taking over the decisions for her that someone was there to tell her what to do.

"Can we take the fruit with us?" Nikita questioned as she pulled another grape up in her fingers. Michael smiled. He would buy fifty more fruit plates if it meant that Nikita was going to eat.

*

Michael dared not to release his touch from Nikita. His hand was wrapped around her expanded waist as he pushed the door to the doctor's office with his other free hand. He looked as Nikita stopped for a second, and then continued on. Michael stood by her side, feeling her body shaking.

But Michael didn't know why she was shaking. Was it the low sugar? Was it high sugar? Was Nikita scared?

Nikita swallowed as she walked with Michael. She looked at him and knew that his emotions were as conflicted as hers, but as Nikita focused on the receptionist, Nikita's thoughts narrowed to one thought. She had done this to her child. Nikita tried to keep back the tears, but instead, allowed her hair cover her face and veil her from the look of the receptionist.

"Good morning... Can I help you?" The receptionist asked the couple that stood there. Michael looked to Nikita, wondering if she was going to respond.

"I called yesterday... appointment for Nikita..." Michael started out, but the receptionist started to move before he could say more.

"Nikita Samuelle... we have been waiting..." the receptionist revealed with a rush tone that rubbed at Nikita. It didn't sound good. It sounded like the receptionist was worried for Nikita's child, even though she wasn't a doctor. Nikita turned her head away, and Michael lifted his hand to Nikita's shoulders, knowing that she needed support right now. It would do no good for Nikita to beat herself up about what she had done. It would do the baby no good.

"We were delayed... We meant to be here about an hour ago," Michael spoke the receptionist smiled.

"We just were ready for whenever you got in... Why don't you go to the door across the room? I'll have a nurse met you there... and they'll get you into a room..." the receptionist stated and Michael nodded his head, although he wondered why they were going into another section of the office than before. "Oh.. did you bring the medical records?"

"Yes... they are on disk..." Michael stated as he revealed the disk. The receptionist extended her hand for it and Michael handed it over.

"I'll print them out and send someone over with the file..." The receptionist spoke and Michael nodded his head. He moved away, starting to lead Nikita to the door that had been indicated. Nikita stopped and looked at Michael through the veil of pale blonde hair that badly needed tended too.

"Michael... why are we going over there?" Nikita questioned and Michael rubbed Nikita's shoulders and nudged her some more.

"It's probably a different area to do an ultrasound... You are quite overdue for one and Dr. Kindles was aware of that when I spoke with her," Michael stated out with a strained voice. He was actually scared of what it meant, going to that other door, but he couldn't allow Nikita to know that. He held his hand steady as they neared the door, but no nurse had appeared yet.

"Nikita... don't worry about this..." Michael stated, as he felt her tense muscles. He knew it was useless to say the words, but to worry about going in another door was useless. It could mean nothing. It could mean that they had prepared a room for Nikita, knowing that the exam might take a bit longer than normal.

Michael turned and looked into Nikita's face. The features were hiding there, as were the tears. Michael guided his hands to her cheeks and stroked the hair away from the face, revealing Nikita. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. She fretted about the strangest things, but it was one of the things that made her Nikita.

"I love you so much," Michael whispered as he looked into her eyes as the door opened.

"Nikita... HEY!" Jake stated out with a smile as Nikita turn to face the man that was the nurse at the clinic. She almost panicked. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again... Michael, thanks for the letter of recommendation... I've been looking for a practice like this!"

"What?" Nikita questioned as she turned and looked at Michael. Michael smiled and looked at Nikita. He decided to explain it all later, now was different. But Michael was quite glad to see that Jake was the nurse that was going to be with them. Michael had an odd feeling that this was going to be a trying day for all and it was best that this man had already seen Nikita at her worse.

"Come this way... We have a room all ready..." Jake stated as he pointed down the hallway. Nikita stared at Michael as squeezed his hand tightly. Jake led them into a large room that contained various equipment along with a cubicle to change in. It also had a small bathroom off to the side. Nikita entered and jumped as Jake shut the door.

"I just need you to stand up on the scale first, Nikita," Jake stated as he pointed to the scale. Nikita looked to Michael and started to chew her bottom lip. She stood and heard the weights move with a slam.

"I can't look... I'm so big..." Nikita whispered as she dropped her head. Jake did not pay any attention to Nikita's words, but worked quickly at getting a weight and jotting it down. Much to his credit, he didn't speak the weight out for either one to hear.

"Ok... I have a few orders to complete before Dr. Kindles comes in for the exam..." Jake stated as he looked to the chart. Michael was pleased to see that the doctor had taken time to organize for them.

"First... I need to get your blood pressure... from both arms, sitting and standing... I have to draw some blood to check the sugar levels... I need an urine sample... and I need you to start drinking this.." Jake said as he bent over and pulled out the large gallon of water. He watched as Nikita's eyes expanded.

"A whole gallon?" Nikita questioned and Jake nodded his head. He pulled out the cup for the urine sample and the needle for the blood.

"So what is first?" Jake questioned, leaving this all up to Nikita.

"Neither?" Nikita questioned and Jake narrowed his eyes. He realized that Nikita was extremely serious about this and still had not relinquished the hold on Michael's hand. Jake turned and pulled out the large cloth gown. Nikita felt it hit her lap and looked at the material. No one had ever given her a material gown.

It was going to be a long day.

"Why don't you go get me the urine sample.. and change into that," Jake said as he reached his hand out to help Nikita back down to the floor. Nikita stepped down and wavered on her feet. Michael stepped forward to steady Nikita and then nudged her in the direction of the bathroom.

Jake, brilliantly, didn't mention what he saw, but rather, took notice.

~~

"Just a little bit more to drink," Jake said as he entered the room with a half pitcher of water. Nikita leaned her head back and looked at Michael with tears in her eyes. Michael had trouble coaxing the first gallon into her. Both realized that it was necessary, but it was taking a long time getting Nikita to willingly do that.

"Why do I need so much water?" Nikita questioned Jake as her hand trembled as she held the glass. Jake smiled and waited for Nikita to drink half of the glass.

"After the internal exam... Dr. Kindles is going to do the ultrasound immediately afterwards," Jake stated and Nikita rolled her head slightly.

"But pregnant women have smaller bladders!" Nikita shouted in anger as she threw the glass of water to the floor. Jake dropped his eyes and immediately poured another glass of water for Nikita.

"You are also dehydrated. It can pose serious problems," Jake stated as he handed this glass to Nikita. Michael winced. Jake had just said too much.

"THERE ARE ALREADY PROBLEMS! WHY DO YOU THINK WE ARE HERE!" Nikita screamed and then turned her head away. She winced with pain as she tried not to cry. No matter how vigorously Nikita tried to push the tears away, they fell, causing Nikita to feel more of a failure than before.

"Nikita... please... calm down..." Michael whispered as he rubbed her arm. Nikita dropped her head to the side and sobbed more. Michael leaned his head back. They had been in the office for almost an hour now and it felt like several.

"What is going on in here?" Dr. Kindles questioned as she opened the door. Jake looked to Nikita. He had worked for years with pregnant women, he knew how emotional they were, but Nikita was so different from any other woman that he had worked with.

"I believe we have exceeded Nikita's tolerance for water," Jake supplied as he grabbed the glass out of Nikita's hand. Dr. Kindles smiled and patted Nikita's knee. Nikita turned and looked at the woman. Nikita was shocked that a doctor could smile at her, after what she had been doing to her baby.

"Let's not wait on anything here... Let's get this internal exam over with so we can see your baby on the ultrasound?" Dr. Kindles offered as a suggestion to proceed. Michael nodded his head, glad that she was not going to linger on the medical files yet or the results of any tests that had been run thus far.

"Jake... I need another blood level drawn..." Dr. Kindles said as she started to move the stirrups around. She had examined Nikita before and knew how nervous that Nikita was, but Dr. Kindles couldn't coddle Nikita as she did back then. She warmed the metal as Jake drew the blood and ran it outside.

"You have gained a lot of weight... this may be a bit uncomfortable..." Dr. Kindles stated as she started to put the gloves on. Nikita closed her eyes and swallowed. She thought that by now that she would have gotten use to this. If anything, this time was the worse. Nikita was sure that Dr. Kindles was going to look at Nikita and declare her totally unfit and ill. Nikita was sure that Dr. Kindles was going to try to press attempted murder charges on Nikita in the next hour.

Jake walked back in the room and looked at Dr. Kindles and then pulled over the sterile instruments. Michael caught the look and was determined that it did not mean good news. Michael moved closer to Nikita as Dr. Kindles and Jake assisted Nikita closer to the edge and placed her legs into the stirrups.

~~

Nikita turned her head from Michael's chest, almost afraid to look at the screen. She had been listening to the heartbeat for sometime of her child. It meant that the child on some level was still alive. That did not ease Nikita's worries. Nor did it ease anyone else's worries in the room.

"Look at our baby, Nikita... It's there..." Michael whispered as he bent down closer to Nikita's ear. He saw the tremble in Nikita's body as she attempted to turn her head. There was nothing he could do to ease her worries right now but to hold her hand and wait along with her.

"The heart is formed perfectly," Dr. Kindles stated as she pointed out to the screen. Nikita looked at the image slowly and felt the tears pour out of her face. She reached her hand out.

It was a different image than the one that was done. Nikita had for a long time, lied to herself when she had given Birkoff an image of an ultrasound. It wasn't hers. It was some other lady's. She had been handing them out like flyers, please to have a child. Nikita looked at the picture and turned and left. She tried to put it in her file that she had the ultrasound. Nikita didn't succeed.

This little being had legs and arms. There were even toes, and possible eyes that Nikita could see. Nikita bit her lip and cried out.

Then she moaned.

"Are you in pain?" Dr. Kindles questioned as she stood up from the stool that she had settled into while viewing the ultrasound. Nikita tossed her head from side to side. She couldn't look at the image any longer.

"Jake... is this all on tape?" Dr. Kindles questioned and Jake nodded his head. She smiled and looked at Jake.

"I want you to take that tape to Dr. Miles... he should be done with is patient... Ask him to view it..." Dr. Kindles stated. She picked up a towel and placed it on the gel that now covered Nikita's stomach. Nikita turned her head and continued to cry. Michael reached over and wiped at Nikita's stomach. Jake ran out of the room and was back quickly.

This was an ultrasound that should have been joyous in ways. Dr. Kindle would often give the parents at this stage an opportunity to see if they wanted to know the sex. That wasn't very important now and Dr. Kindles frowned as she wrote down on the chart.

"Nikita... I want to get another level of sugar... and I'm going to get up on your feet for a while..." Dr. Kindle stated as she pushed back in her stool and smiled at Nikita. Nikita felt unnerved looking at the smile. Michael leaned over and tied up the gown better for Nikita and kissed the nape of her neck softly.

"I'm going to get Jake to get you something to eat... and some orange juice... Afterwards, we are going to prep you for an amniocentesis..." Dr. Kindles explained as she reached her hands out for Nikita. Nikita slid her feet to the ground while crying. She wavered a lot and Dr. Kindles looked to the chart and then to Jake.

"I have some chicken salad in the lounge..." Jake offered as he opened the door and took Nikita's hand. Nikita looked over her shoulder and looked at Michael. She didn't want to be separated now. Michael was staring at her and he nodded his head that it was ok for her to go with Jake. It was ok, but it wasn't what either parent wanted at this moment.