Breath in

One
Two
Three

Breath out

One
Two
Three
Four
Five

Breath in

One
Two
Three

Breath out

One
Two
Three
Four
Five

"What is it Steward?" Nikita snapped as she didn't dare open her eyes. She could fell him there, staring at her. She hated when she was disturbed.

Steward nervously shifted his weight from one side to the other. He looked around the room that Nikita had placed herself in from the moment that the medical personal had pried Patrick away from her body until this time. Two days she had been in this room.

She didn't look good. She was sitting lotus style on the floor, with a sports bra on. There was a white sterile pad on her back where she was injured. The blood had soaked through again. It hadn't been professionally tended to yet.

"We have the funeral today," Steward commented. It was arranged to have one so that the families can grieve for Patrick also. Steward's wife had been horrified and demanded that she was going to go see Nikita when she heard of Patrick's demise. Steward stopped her.

"I know," Nikita stated as she continued to try to focus on finding some sort of peace. She knew that Steward was still there, but started not to care anymore.

Breath in

One
Two
Three

Breath out

One
Two
Three
Four
Five

Breath in

One
Two
Three

"Don't you want to get ready?" Steward finally questioned. Nikita leaned her head back and opened her eyes slowly. She couldn't look at him. In fact, Nikita never wanted to see anyone again, but she knew that it wouldn't happen. Nikita was attempting to pull herself together so she could go to the funeral. Her operatives had already seen her too emotional in the past few days and she wouldn't allow it to continue.

"I will," Nikita stated softly, hoping that Steward would take the point. She felt that he hadn't moved, instead, he had moved closer.

"You are still bleeding, Nikita... You are going to get an infection.... and I know you haven't eaten..." Steward started to state towards Nikita's back. He hated how he had to communicate with Nikita and wished there was a way to get to her.

"My health is none of your concern, Steward," Nikita commanded. She blinked her eyes as she focused on Steward for a second. She swallowed as she felt the energy. "There is another reason why you are here, isn't there?"

"Yes."

Breath in... Breath out... Breath in... Breath out.. Don't panic! Don't panic!

"What is it Steward?" Nikita questioned. She waited as she felt Steward get nervous. She waited and waited. Nikita knew that Steward was going to have to tell her and soon before she snapped with an angry rage .

"Section One is sending Michael here tomorrow," Steward whispered, afraid to say the words. He had read the communications and stopped everything that he was doing. There had been a little information, from Section One, on what Nikita did. It was all explained in their proposal on sending Michael to Section Eight to further train Nikita.

It was unprofessional in Steward's viewpoint. He knew now that Section One was truly out to mess around with Nikita's head. Here was the man that she once had a relationship with, who had a hand in killing the other man that Nikita loved, and he was being sent to help her.

It just wasn't right. "I expected that," Nikita remarked and Steward shook his head. He couldn't believe how calm Nikita was. He expected her to call George and to demand that she be left alone. It appeared as if she wasn't even going to battle.

Steward started to worry.

"I'll be ready in two hours," Nikita remarked sharply, hoping to get a few more moments to pull herself together. She was sure that she could appear strong at the funeral, but Nikita didn't want to take the chance.

She had to be strong.

Nikita had to prove it today so she could prove it tomorrow.

"Go away, Steward," Nikita finally ordered. She waited as she felt Steward move away. The room didn't seem as crowded. Nikita closed her eyes and urged her body to center again. She concentrated on not thinking, on losing her thoughts to the worlds and just feeling her body.

She ached for the bodily peace she used to be able to find easily.

Breath in

One
Two
Three

Breath out

One
Two
Three
Four
Five

Breath in

One...

"Whoever is at the door, go away!" Nikita called out as she caught herself climbing back to the world that she wished to escape at the moment. They were trying to care too much. Nikita needed solitude, instead, everyone infringed on that need and that urge.

"Nikita, I just thought you would like to talk..." Katherine softly stated as she entered the room even further. Nikita swallowed as she forced her eyes to stay closed. She did not invite the woman in, but she continued to move closer.

"I don't need your help," Nikita coldly hissed as she wiggled her fingers as they sat on top of her knees, facing the skies. Nikita tried to center, but could feel the pull of Katherine's energy.

"You are hiding... Maybe you don't want me... Maybe you want someone else..." Katherine offered. She had offered in a similar manner the day before. Nikita had not taken that offer up then, and she wasn't about to take it up again. She wanted to be alone.

"Katherine, I have lived by myself for many years... I can function fine..." Nikita stated in a steady voice, hoping not to sound rude or upset. Any of those emotions could indicated the inner turmoil that Nikita was dealing with and make Katherine's resolve to help even stronger.

"But this is different, Nikita... You loved Patrick..." Katherine stated. Each word burned Nikita's soul and heart like it was a flaming arrow. She didn't want to think about what her feeling were for Patrick. Nikita was telling her heart and soul that Patrick in the end had hurt her and it was time to move on.

But her heart and soul never did listen to Nikita's mind too well.

"You don't know me, Katherine... Leave me be," Nikita stated out as she felt the tears building behind her eyelids. Nikita swallowed and hoped that Katherine would just need.

"Sugar... I know you," Walter's voice stated out as a hand touched her shoulder. Nikita opened her eyes as she unreservedly tremmored with the touch. Nikita almost turned her head to look at Walter. She knew that Katherine had left them alone, that she wouldn't be seen by the other operatives if she turned now, but Nikita didn't.

She told herself that she was strong enough.

"Walter... I don't want to talk about this..." Nikita whispered out as she struggled to form the words. She hoped that Walter could just understand her words. She wasn't sure if they were clear enough to represent the English language.

"You are hurting, Sugar... What you want and what you need are two different things... You can't run from his death like you ran from Michael," Walter stated in that tender and smoky voice that was Walter. It made Nikita feel good in the same moment as feeling awful. She wanted to cry to Walter about everything that she was feeling.

"I'm not going to be weak, Walter..." Nikita stated without looking at him. She could tell the look of concern was on his face. She had seen it too often in her life.

"You aren't weak, sugar, I know that. You just need to cry and let it out.... And what is with this blood and all..." Walter questioned as he moved his body closer to Nikita. But in that instance, Nikita pulled further away from Walter.

"I can't allow this, Walter... I can't... I got to be strong... Michael is coming tomorrow and if I can't get through today... I won't be able to look at Michael tomorrow... without crying..." Nikita admitted as she twisted her hands about.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes... Very bad..." Nikita stated as she closed her eyes. She had seen the pictures of the damage of what she did to Michael. However, Section One had a lot of medical technology that Section Eight didn't have. Nikita was positive that Michael looked like he wasn't even scratched.

"Ok.. I'm leaving in the morning... If there is anything you need..." Walter said as he dropped his hand heavily against his side. Nikita could now feel his footsteps as he walked away.

"Walter?" Nikita called out in a meek voice. She almost wished Walter didn't stop when he heard it.

"Yeah, sugar?" Walter questioned.

"Can you drive me to the funeral?" Nikita questioned as she turned her head and looked at Walter. He nodded his head and moved closer to her. He wiped his older hands against her young cheeks and pushed the wetness away.

"Of course..... Can I at least stitch that back up for you?" Walter questioned and Nikita nodded her head.

That way she could cry, and blame it on that pain.

*

It wasn't a cold day.

It wasn't even raining.

In fact, the sun was pouring out of the blue skies above and the temperature was bearable, if not too warm.

It was opposite of everything that Nikita believed funerals to be. It was opposite of everything that Nikita wanted the funeral to be.

Nikita knew that most of the operatives had showed up, along with most of their families. They treated Nikita like she had married Patrick. She didn't know if she felt that way, but she slightly nodded her head and took their hands back.

It was all an act. She just wanted to get through this and back to the room that she had been staying in. S he was safe there and the hours were ticking away for Nikita. Soon, tomorrow, she would have to be back to business as always.

Walter was behind her, as he had been since they had arrived. He didn't try to touch her and didn't try to p physically support her. He was there, in the back, just in case.

Just in case.

Nikita closed her eyes briefly as she looked over the coffin. It was a brilliant piece of work. She knew that Steward had gone out of his way for his best friend. Nikita looked at the cherry wood color and stared for a long time.

The flowers were pouring around the graveside, and everyone held some flowers in their hands. Nikita looked around at the operatives slowly. Most were trying not to look at the coffin, fidgeting with their flowers. Others were crying.

Patrick was a great man.

A great man that said he was glad to be going to Theresa.

Nikita wanted to be bitter, it would have been easier. Instead, her emotions were rolling up around her, the love that she had grown for Patrick, with the hatred of his departure, along with the knowledge that she never meant to get involved with Patrick.

Steward stood at the head of the coffin. He was who would speak, there would be no priest.

"It is always the bad times that bring us all together... Today it is for the... untimely death of Patrick, a man that touched all of our lives in some way or manner," Steward spoke in a strong voice, but it didn't hide his emotions as his hands shook the papers that he had written his speech on. He looked to Nikita as she stared at the coffin and swallowed.

"He was my best friend... and I man that I was still discovering more about... As part of his last wishes... he wanted me to read the lyrics to the song that he read at his dear Theresa's funeral... in his words of the papers he left behind... God has willed him the ability to go back to the one that he loved... And we all know that Theresa is taking good care of him."

Walter moved and touched Nikita's shoulders. The words were beautiful, but Walter heard them as Nikita would. They were like daggers, belittling everything that she ever had with Patrick, making her simply the 'other woman'

"From the very first introduction,
I knew it was you come back in my life.
So we meet again my long lost friend,
Once again we get to start anew.
And it feels like a thousand years I've been loving you.
If you've been waiting here for someone near,
Searching the world for a friend,
Come on in, I've been expecting you.
Sweet reunion, welcome home again.
How many lifetimes have I loved you?
How many times have you loved me?
The sound of your voice is in my memory,
Like the wind on the sea.
Your heart has been my lighthouse.
I've come in from distant shores,
And I won't be afraid, not anymore.
So we meet again, my long lost friend.
Once again we get to start anew.
And it feels like a thousand years,
I've been loving you.
If you've been waiting here for someone near,
Searching the world for a friend,
Come on in, I've been expecting you.
Sweet reunion, welcome home again.
Whatever happens, nothing's ever going to be the same.
Now you've found me here at last,
Your love's released me from the past.
My heart has always remembered your name.
If you've been waiting here for someone near,
Searching the world for a friend,
Come on in, I've been expecting you.
Sweet reunion, welcome home again."

The words of a Kenny Loggins song almost brought Steward to his knees as he allowed an operative to his side finish the last few sentences. He allowed his tears to be seen.

Nikita continued to stare.

"You all know of my friendship with Patrick... and I'd like to open it for the rest of you to speak now of how Patrick touched your life..." Steward offered and Nikita closed her eyes.

God help her, she wanted to cry right now.

"I remember when Sally was about to have our first child... Patrick had taken us out to dinner... and Sally's water broke... He stayed calm and helped bring little Patrick into the world..." an operative spoke out and smiles spread across the operatives' faces. Except Nikita's.

They expected her to speak, but Nikita continued to stare at the cherry wood color of the coffin. She heard Steward's words over and over again in her head, saying how Patrick was glad to be back with his true love. She felt inferior, although she was now in control. Nikita closed her eyes and all she could see were the Christmas lights and that first kiss.

It didn't feel like Patrick was still madly in love with Theresa when he kissed her.

"Nikita?" Walter whispered as the operatives slowly went around the circle, speaking their peace, but careful not to reveal to the families of the dark world that they lived in. Walter looked at Nikita as her eyes were intensely focused, but she was unaware of everything else that was going on.

"He helped me chose the ring..."

"One Christmas... my apartment was broken into and Patrick made me go to his house with Theresa... and they had so much food for just the two of them... it was as if Patrick expected to be saving someone..."

"He taught me about life.... he stopped me from pulling the trigger of a gun that was held by my own hand and pressed against my own head..."

Nikita gasped as she could almost feel Patrick still kissing her lips. Even with his declarations of how much he wanted to be with Theresa, Nikita felt something more. She didn't want too.

"Nikita?" Steward questioned as everyone's eyes settled on her. Her face was blank, staring off, but not showing the emotions that were roaring in her body. She was restless and had to fight the response to run away from what was happening.

The sun was now in her eyes. She swiped at her hair as she stared at Steward and then back to the coffin. She couldn't form words. She dropped her head and then lifted it. Nikita stared at Steward and he nodded his head back to Nikita. He would not pressure Nikita into speaking, although he felt it was necessary.

"Good bye my friend, Patrick... may your new life be filled with the same love that was in this life..." Steward commented as he motioned to the operatives standing nearby. They moved and helped to lower the coffin into the ground.

Nikita felt her throat clench.

She wanted to scream.

She wanted to cry.

She wanted Patrick to still be alive.

The coffin was settled into the ground when the eyes all settled on Nikita again. She felt her hands tighten around the flowers. She instinctively knew what she was too do. She had never been to a funeral before, but she knew what was too happen. She knew the traditions.

She dropped her head and moved forward. Nikita didn't even notice Walter walking behind her, ready to catch her if needed.

The falling flowers caught Nikita's eyes. It was such a long way down and Nikita gasped. Firmly, she took three steps back and watched as the flowers all started to fall.

Hundreds of flowers. Hundreds of operatives and well wishers. Nikita waited for them all. She waited as their cars started to leave and waited as Steward made arrangements to have the dirt filled in.

"Come on, Nikita..." Walter stated softly as he touched Nikita's elbow.

She started to walk without a word or a tear.

*

The drive was terribly silent. Walter would look over at Nikita every few minutes, hoping for her to talk, to express something more. But each time he looked, she would still be staring out the window, endlessly looking.

Walter was worried.

He was a gruff man that always believed that Nikita's heart would be for Michael. He never felt that Nikita could get close enough to another man to be in love. Walter had found it hard with the times that he spoke with Katherine that Nikita and Patrick were really close. For a while, Walter even thought that it was an act, to help further some sort of plan that Nikita was working on. Now he was able to see her and know that there was something very strong between Nikita and that man.

But Walter wasn't willing or ready to say that it was stronger than anything that Nikita felt for Michael.

Walter knew that Michael wasn't always the best man, and probably deserved the cracked jaw that Nikita had given him. Walter also knew that Michael may have been underestimating Nikita all this time. For the reports in from George and from Nikita herself, she was going beyond any expectations that Michael could have ever had for her. But Michael, he was hurting during Nikita's absence. Walter didn't want to ponder what was going to happen when Michael arrived the next day.

For Nikita, her heart started to pound when they left the graveyard. The pain just kept on getting more and more intense. She didn't notice the operatives whispering how cold she was for not saying a word and not crying at all. Nikita didn't even notice that some were upset with the stone cold face she had during the entire ceremony. Nikita had claimed that she couldn't show the emotion because it would make the operatives think she was weak. Instead, it was a very elaborate way of protecting herself.

But that was falling apart. The pain was getting stronger and stronger, tugging and pulling at Nikita's heart. She started to look back, at the road they were just on. She started to rock back and forth a bit, feeling the tears reach her eyes and start to dribble down her face.

"Walter... STOP!" Nikita yelled out as she clutched her arms around her chest and tried to choke the sobs. She turned her head towards the back, needing to go back.

"What is it sugar?" Walter questioned as he looked at Nikita, but kept on moving. He looked at her pale face and waited. He finally found a little road to pull off in and turn the car off.

"We need to go back.... We need to go back ..." Nikita stated in a chant like voice. Now the tears were pouring out of her eyes. Walter turned the car off and reached for Nikita. Her body was like steel and she closed her eyes as she shook her head back and forth.

"It's going to be all right, sugar... Just cry..." Walter offered. He was met with Nikita flipping her head side to side with sharp strokes.

"I got to be with him.... I can't leave... I got to go back..." Nikita stated feeling the guilty rushing her body. Everything was making her doubt. She worried about the mission was bad because of her. She was sure that Patrick was dead because she didn't go to his side right away,like she should have.

"There is nothing there... we'll get you back and get you a nice hot bath... You would like that, wouldn't you, sugar?" Walter stated as he touched Nikita's shoulders softly.

Nikita turned her head and stared at Walter, her heart finally letting loose everything that had been on her mind. Simply, she screamed.

Walter moved closer to Nikita, pulling her into his arms. He held her as he rocked her back and forth. He didn't expect words as Nikita sobbed loudly in his arms. Walter had no idea what was in Nikita's head, but just knew that Nikita needed to get them out, to allow the pain out.

"I can't believe this... I have to go back.... I can explain..." Nikita stated as she tried to break free from Walter's grasp. She did for a few seconds, successfully opening the door. Walter grabbed her body and yanked the door closed and locked. He held onto more as she cried more pitifully now.

"It's all right sugar... You are going to be fine..." Walter whispered as he stared down at her head. Her face was covered with the wet tears, and the tears were endless. Walter was sure that things had just built too quickly on Nikita's already fragile mind. This was what he was worried would happen and he was only glad that he was the one that was there to hold Nikita.

"He said that he loved me... that he wanted me to have his child..." Nikita stated as she hiccuped. Walter leaned his head back and swallowed. It was easily heard that Nikita felt equally back at Patrick.

"But... when he was dying.... he said that he was going back to Theresa... HE WANTED TO BE WITH THERESA!!!" Nikita screamed as she pulled away. The motion of the action had Nikita hitting her head with a sound thud against the dashboard of the car. Walter moved and pulled Nikita away from it as her hands covered the spot that now hurt terribly.

However, that physical pain did not match the pain that was in Nikita's heart and soul.

"Nikita... Nikita..." Walter stated, unsure of what to say. He couldn't imagine what Nikita felt at that moment. She had always been passed up and passed over. Her mother didn't love her, and instead, loved the countless men more than her own daughter. Even though Michael loved her in his own strange way, Michael had other loves in his life, Simone, Elena, and Adam. Nikita had always been passed over and Walter wasn't sure if he could say the words to make it better.

In fact, Walter knew he couldn't say anything to make it better.

"He said my heart belonged to another.... he liked ripped those past few months to shreds.... like I was living a lie, Walter..." Nikita stuttered out. Walter held her and pushed her hair back. She was very hot to touch, but Walter pushed those thoughts out of his head for the moment. Nikita's emotional pain was more important.

"But I'm sure he still loved you... He meant those words, sugar," Walter stated, hoping to ease the tears, to be able to talk more rationally.

"What if he didn't, Walter? What if he was lying to me? Was I lying to myself?" Nikita questioned quickly. Every questioned was an extremely hard question to answer.

"We don't know what he truly felt... and we should let the dead live in peace... It's more about what you take from it Nikita... And only you know if you were lying to yourself..." Walter stated in a slow and steady voice. Nikita continued to cry, but Walter wasn't sure if she heard any of his words.

"I thought about Michael a few times..." Nikita stated, still crying. Walter nodded his head.

More than a few times, Nikita thought to herself.

"But I loved Patrick, Walter.... I was going to have a family... A FAMILY!" Nikita screamed out and Walter nodded his head. He knew that in the end, that was something that Nikita dearly needed and wished for. He wasn't sure exactly what she dreamed of, but he knew that Nikita's mind in some ways was very similar to a teenager's mind. She was sure if she had a child, that the child would love her unconditionally. It was something that Nikita had lacked for her entire life and Walter was sure that she would die trying to get.

"Look... sugar... maybe this doesn't count for much... but you sweet thing... I love you... does that matter?" Walter stated as he rubbed at Nikita's arms. She looked at him and swallowed harshly.

"You are just saying that, Walter... You've been mad at me... you can't love me!" Nikita stated and Walter shook his head back and forth. He rubbed his hands to Nikita's neck softly, feeling the wetness of her tears.

"Just because I was mad at you... doesn't mean that I didn't love you... You know Section One... we just can't say what we always feel... you are like a child I never had, sugar... You matter... and I'm going to be there for you until the day I die!" Walter commanded and Nikita started to cry harder.

"Shh... I didn't mean to upset you more..." Walter whispered and Nikita shook her head back and forth.

"So you are my family?" Nikita questioned softly. That statement brought the tears to Walter's eyes.

"As long as you need me, sugar," Walter finally stated. Nikita continued to cry.

She cried for five minutes.

She cried for ten minutes.

She cried for twenty minutes.

Walter swallowed and touched Nikita softly, trying to wipe the tears off of her face. He felt the warmness that was still there and looked out the window.

"Sugar... lets go back... Are you feeling ok?" Walter questioned. Nikita turned her head, finding the end of her tears. She stared at him blankly for several long moments.

"Sugar... you are really hot..." Walter stated and Nikita leaned against the window of the car. She felt the coolness of the metal and the glass. She rubbed her hands out to the window, taking the coolness and trying to make it her own.

"I'm fine..." Nikita stated as she opened her eyes and stared outside the window.

"Don't clam up on me... sugar... don't do it... You need to talk..." Walter stated and Nikita shook her head back and forth. She looked at Walter through her sagging eyes and swallowed.

"Walter... I don't feel fine now... but I need to feel fine tomorrow..." Nikita stated and Walter swallowed a huge amount of air. He knew exactly what Nikita was talking about.

The old man also knew when not to touch upon a subject. This was one of those times. Nikita didn't need to know that Walter thought that Michael would understand what she had done. He knew that Nikita didn't want to hear how Walter felt the two were still meant for each other, even if they had been through these horrible times and Nikita had found another man.

Nikita didn't need to hear that right now.

She probably didn't even need to hear it ever. If Michael and Nikita were meant to be together, then it would happen on its own timetable.

"Well... lets get you back and I'll take care of you..." Walter stated as he turned the car back on. Nikita reached out and touched his arm.

"Don't let them see me this way..." Nikita stated as she blinked her heavy eyes. She was ready to fall asleep and Walter nodded his head.

"Ok, sugar.... Ok..." Walter stated as he started to drive. He looked over two minutes later at Nikita and found that a peaceful sleep had fallen over her body. She had weathered the storm, now Walter just hoped that she could survive the hurricane named Michael, who was just on the horizon.

* Walter walked up the stairs, leaving a place that he ached to stay. He knew that one day with Nikita was not enough. He wished he had more time, but he had been lucky enough to swing this one day.

The door opened in front of Walter and he stopped. Michael stood there, with duffel back in hand, looking as cold as ever. The classic black clothes were on and showing that the young man had lost weight of late. His eyes were stern. The swelling was miraculous gone from his face, due to the skill of Section One surgeons.

"Walter," Michael stated, acting like he was surprised that Walter was there. Walter looked around and shrug his shoulders lightly. He had a word or two to tell Michael before he left. It was the least he could do for Nikita.

"You just step very carefully, young man," Walter warned and Michael looked over Walter's shoulder, as if he was insignificant. That changed as Michael dropped his head and tilted it to the side.

"How is she?" Michael questioned and Walter sighed. He didn't feel like he should be discussing the details with Michael about Nikita. However, Michael might never take his warnings fully if he didn't know.

"Are you asking me if she really loved Patrick?" Walter questioned back, wondering if that was the real question. Michael looked away as if he was wounded. It was the question that Michael was aching to know. Walter never knew a brilliant man to be so brilliantly stupid.

"I am asking how is she," Michael dryly commented. Walter tilted his head to the side and swallowed. He looked at Michael as the young man clenched his hands. Walter knew that he was correct. His heart pained with knowing that he was going to have to break to Michael the twisted relationship that Nikita had.

"Did you know that she was injured during the mission?" Walter questioned and then turned his head to the side. He knew that his words weren't enough for Michael at this point. Walter shook his head back and forth and swallowed.

"Michael.. there was something there... but in the end... Patrick hurt her too... like everyone else in her life... but there was one difference between you and him..." Walter stated and he looked at Michael. He was waiting for Michael to say something and Michael just continued to stare passed Walter's shoulders.

"What?" Michael finally questioned as he looked at Walter.

"He said the words, Michael...." Walter stated and Michael swallowed. His face actually paled. Walter couldn't believe that Michael actually understood the abstract statement he had said. Walter realized that Michael must have been thinking more about Nikita than he allowed anyone to realize. For Michael to realize that Patrick said that he loved Nikita and he didn't, instantly, took a man who was probably deeply and truly in love with Nikita.

"I don't believe it," Michael finally stated as he shook his head back and forth in denial. Walter reached out and touched Michael's arm. He didn't understand how these two soulmates got twisted in this web of fire and hate, but Walter was willing to help out.

"Michael... believe it... He was willing to have a family with her... they were going to marry..." Walter stated out in a soft voice. It wasn't meant to hurt Michael, it was meant to inform him. That was what Michael took from it.

"But you said that he hurt her... How?" Michael questioned and Walter winced. He was sure that Michael needed to find that out himself. However, Walter was sure that Michael wouldn't ask Nikita, and would just find the information from breaking into computer files or something along those lines.

"He lost his wife about two years ago... in the end... he said that he was going back to his love... and that Nikita's heart never really belonged to him..." Walter stated as he stepped away from Michael. This wasn't something that all of Section Eight knew and realized. It could undermine Nikita's authority if they started to hear rumors of such.

"She isn't ready to run Section Eight... She shouldn't even be a team leader," Michael stated and Walter raised his eyebrows. Walter didn't believe Michael's words. He had heard Davenport rant and rave about how Nikita just stuck up on him. Walter watched the tapes that were all shadows, but for Nikita to get to Davenport, she had to have been in the area. She had gone undetected.

"Michael... that is an attitude you are going to have to drop around her.. She had a good rapport with the operatives here... and things are just a bit different around here," Walter stated and Michael dropped his bag down and side. He had heard that too, but he had also seen the report of what Nikita had done. She was making Section Eight more like Section One. Michael was sure that he would fit in.

Nikita was walking up the stairs, knowing that Michael was to be arriving soon. She turned her head slightly when she saw Michael with Walter. She leaned her head back and stared at Walter carefully.

"Walter... aren't you going to miss your plane?" Nikita questioned. Walter looked back at Nikita and nodded his head. He carefully moved to Nikita and placed a gently kiss on her forehead.

"You take care of that infection... ok? And you know how to get in touch with me," Walter stated and Nikita closed her eyes. She was sure that Michael now knew what to look after on Nikita for. Nikita narrowed her eyes and swallowed.

"Good-bye Walter," Nikita coolly stated as she watched the older man move away. Had Michael not been there, she would have hugged him.

But she had to stay calm, cool, and professional.

And strong.

"Michael, here is the key to the apartment and the address. You have today to get settled in and you have a mission to prep tomorrow," Nikita said as she pulled the items out of her pocket. Nikita was careful as she made sure not to touch Michael's fingers with the exchange of the items

"We have to talk," Michael stated as he took the items and pocketed them himself. He didn't even look at them as he stared at Nikita.

"No, we don't," Nikita reminded Michael as she turned around. She wanted nothing to do with Michael and wanted him to leave. She tensed as Michael touched her.

"I am here to train you to be a leader," Michael stated and Nikita turned around and narrowed her eyes. She tilted her head to the side and folded her hands in front of her stomach. She looked very much like Madeline at that moment.

"I know how to be a good leader... my only lesson left is getting you to listen to my orders... I am in charge Michael, not you. Don't forget it," Nikita stated out in a commanding voice that echoed in the hallway. Michael stared at Nikita for a long time as she stared back at him.

"Any questions?" Nikita questioned as she turned her head to the opposite side.

"Do you think that ordering me is the only task you have to learn?" Michael questioned and Nikita stared at Michael as she moved closer.

She wanted to fall into his arms.

Nikita stared at him, trying to find the damage that she had caused him. She couldn't find it and Nikita closed her eyes.

"I think the biggest thing I have to learn is how not to kill you in your stay here... Maybe sometime during one of your missions I'll do as you showed me to do... to ignore the messages of those leaders of Sections," Nikita stated and Michael swallowed.

Low blow.

"Let's not make this personal, Nikita," Michael stated and Nikita stepped back and bowed her head.

"I don't do casual..." Nikita hissed the words at Michael and turned away from him. She had enough of him. She didn't wait for Michael to respond or for him to come after her. Nikita just wanted him to go away at this point.

Nikita found herself quickly instead of the room that she had found as the only place that she could find some sort of peace. She looked around the room and grabbed at the waterglobe.

Her Christmas gift from Patrick.

She turned the music on and closed her eyes.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas....

During Christmas day, after they had visited with Steward's family, Nikita and Patrick sat in each other's arms for a long time. They talked some and Nikita had stared at the very globe that was in front of her now, months later.

"Do you ever regret something you have done?" Nikita questioned. Patrick nodded his head and swallowed.

"I wish I had one more night with Theresa.... Have you ever regretted something?" Patrick questioned back. Nikita looked at Patrick and knew that she couldn't speak the truth. Her heart knew that she regretted leaving Michael. She regretted that she took the promotion to Section Eight and escaped the troubled relationship. She almost regretted that she no longer had to fight for three weeks for one hour with Michael without Section One interference.

"Getting into Section One," Nikita stated and Patrick nodded his head. He held her tightly for those moments as they listened to the song.

How Nikita wished back then that it was Michael that was holding her.

How she wished that Michael would hold her now.

*

The room was dim except for the light that was over the desk that Nikita was working hard at. She looked at the equipment that she had been able to get from medical without questions. Nikita was just starting to realize how easy some tasks were now that she was the leader of Section Eight. She didn't have to break computer codes to get the medical supplies that Walter said she would need. She just took it.

The needle had just pierced the skin of her hand, to send the needed antibiotics into her body when the door opened. Nikita blinked her eyes and concentrated on the task that she was working on, knowing that the only person brave enough inside of Section Eight to enter without knocking was Michael.

"What are you doing?" Michael questioned very quickly as he turned the lights on. Nikita secured the IV site and taped the line down. She looked at Michael and stared at him.

Tense couldn't even describe the feeling in the room.

"Aren't you supposed to be prepping a mission?" Nikita questioned back and Michael narrowed his eyes as he looked at Nikita.

"We are to be training... I'm to train you," Michael stated and Nikita blinked her eyes, keeping her cool on the outside, although on the inside, her heart was racing. She was going to have to work on that.

"Aren't you supposed to be prepping a mission? Where is the profile?" Nikita questioned, ignoring Michael's words. She was getting underneath his skin and quickly. Nikita just wanted to end this conversation as quickly as possible.

"I'm working on the profile... Shouldn't you have medical treatment down in medical?" Michael inquired quickly as he made a move to be closer to Nikita. He had been fretting over what Walter said was an infection and found it very difficult to get in touch with Walter last night. He didn't know how much Nikita improved the computer systems at Section Eight until he did try to contact Walter.

"Why would I let the operatives know that I have an infection? Can't I treat it myself?" Nikita questioned back with raised eyebrows. Michael felt his pulse racing, wondering if Nikita took the wrong medicine. "I'm not stupid, Michael. Walter told me what to take and how much."

Michael dropped his head. He didn't know this Nikita. In ways, he was scared of this Nikita. He didn't know how she could be the same one that she knew inside of Section One. He didn't know how Nikita all of a sudden became an expert with the computers and how she all of a sudden knew strategy and codes that she hadn't even been taught yet.

Michael knew in his heart, that he didn't need to train Nikita anything more about being the leader of Section Eight. In fact, Michael was almost sure that Nikita was going to teach him a thing or two, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to learn those things. He knew his primary mission on this training mission was to get Nikita to go back to Section One, to reestablish the functioning team that they once had.

By any means necessary.

"The profile, Michael... Why are you here when it isn't done?" Nikita questioned as she leaned back from the desk, allowing the medicine to drip into her body. Michael shook his head back and forth and swallowed.

"We need to talk," Michael stated. Nikita started to shake her head and then stopped as she looked back to her desk.

"There is nothing to talk about Michael. You think you are here to train me, but I know that it isn't the truth," Nikita stated as she placed her hands flat down on the desk. Michael looked around, finding it impossible that Nikita found out the records of his mission. There were no records.

"I am here to make sure you know how to run Section Eight," Michael stated and Nikita tilted her head to stare at Michael. She chewed on her lip for a second, almost looking like the old Nikita that Michael knew.

By any means necessary.

Michael thought about his orders again. Madeline and Operations meant that Michael should make Nikita fall in love with him again and bring her back. They made it sound so simple, but it wasn't. She had fallen in love while at Section Eight. Michael was going to have make Nikita's relationship with Patrick look minor and full of lies in order to get close. He wasn't sure if that was possible.

"I run Section Eight fine. If you would take your mind off of Section One fake standards and rules and look around, you would be able to see that yourself, Michael," Nikita snapped as she stared at his eyes. She knew that he was thinking about something, but she wasn't sure what.

It wasn't good.

"Nikita, you aren't thinking correctly... you aren't doing things right..." Michael urged and Nikita stood up while checking that the IV pole would move with her.

"Let's get this straight, Michael. I don't care what you think I am doing right or wrong. This is Section Eight and not Section One," Nikita ordered as she stared into Michael's stormy gray eyes.

"I know this is Section Eight, Nikita. Now you are acting like I am stupid!" Michael snapped back, finding it impossible to allow his emotions to remain hidden in his body.

"Then you are you trying to impress, Michael. Surely not me! You are here for Section One and feel like you only have to report to Section One!" Nikita assessed in a sharp and strong voice. Michael stepped back, knowing that Nikita had pegged him and so quickly. He never knew this Nikita.

Nikita smiled. "Decided now, Michael... In the end, you go back to Section One.... and I'll stay here... But I am higher than you, I am in control, and I can cancel you."

"You wouldn't." Michael dryly stated and shrugged her shoulders lightly. There was no emotion in her eyes.

"Try me," Nikita threatened and Michael stepped back. He looked around and swallowed. He was going to have to reassess the way to approach the goal that Section One had given him. This was clearly not going to work.

He couldn't play Nikita, because he had no concept of who this Nikita was.

"I'll go work on the profile," Michael stated as he started to move. He stopped when Nikita's hand touched his shoulder. She pulled him so he could go view the computer.

"You mean the one that you finished three hours ago, Michael?" Nikita questioned as the outline of the mission popped up. He was certain that he had secured his work, so no one could get into it. Nikita tilted her head and looked at Michael.

"Yes," Michael stated, knowing that he couldn't lie out of this one. Nikita nodded her head as she sat down and typed a few more things.

"I've changed the profile, and you will run it as written.... And what about this phone call to Section One?" Nikita questioned as she pulled up the next file. Michael swallowed and looked at the screen blankly. He was sure that Nikita wouldn't have found any of these things. He wanted to know how she did it.

"I was worried about the infection..." Michael stated and Nikita snapped the computer off. She stared at the blank computer screen for several long moments before turning to face Michael. He stood still and waited for Nikita to speak once more.

"I will worry about my own well-being, Michael. I never needed anyone to watch over me," Nikita hissed and Michael wrinkled his eyebrows in thought. There had been a few times inside of Section One that he had watched over Nikita after injury. It was because of her stubbornness with injury, that she would get out of Section One's medical and go home and collapse into unconsciousness. She needed to be watched over at those times.

"I've watched over you... Didn't Patrick?" Michael questioned and Nikita turned her head to the side. She didn't want to talk about Patrick, but Michael's words brought him back to her mind too quickly.

"What Patrick did and didn't do is not up for discussion, Michael," Nikita snapped and she turned away. She knew that she had revealed her hand, revealed one of the things that bothered Nikita about Patrick and her relationship with Patrick.

"Nikita... he didn't, did he?" Michael questioned. Nikita stared at the wall, wishing that Michael would just walk away and get the point. She didn't want to have this discussion. Not now, not ever. But Michael stayed and Nikita knew that he wasn't going to leave.

"Michael... he was a different man than you were... he made his presence known while doing things for me... He cared, in a very different way," Nikita softly remarked as she stared at the wall. Nikita knew she couldn't face Michael right at that moment, that too many emotions were running through her body. Nikita knew that she had to force those emotions away and get Michael to leave.

"Was that a good thing or bad thing, Nikita?" Michael softly questioned. Nikita closed her eyes, unable to answer the question, afraid of what each possibility would mean to her life. So Nikita ignored it.

"Don't you have a mission to get ready?" Nikita questioned as she turned her head around and showed no emotion at all.

Michael was taken back.

Michael was impressed.

"Yes," Michael replied as he stared at Nikita's blank face. She was a master of it. Michael felt chilled. He wondered if that was the way Nikita used to feel when he did the same thing back to her.

"Why are you wasting time then?" Nikita snapped as she lifted her chin a bit.

"We were talking," Michael stated bluntly and Nikita stared at him. She blinked her blue eyes that used to be so fill with expression, that the chilled look gave Michael more than a chill. It was as if Nikita was freezing him through her eyes.

"You were changing the topic! You were getting me side tracked so I didn't remember about the computer trespasses that I warned you not to do," Nikita stated out in an authoritative voice. Michael mentally stepped back, trying to psychologically assess what was going on with Nikita.

"I want you out of my office, now," Nikita ordered as she looked to the door, but did not point. It was as if Nikita's words were saying one thing, but her body was contradicting everything. It looked like Nikita just needed to be held. But Michael was sure that he wasn't the one that could help now.

"You came too soon... I need you to leave," Nikita stated as she rubbed at the IV and now pointed to the door, as if she realized she forgot to point.

"Too soon? I don't understand that, Nikita..." Michael stated, but he caught a glimpse of her eyes. They were like they were when she struck him in the van. Michael still felt the pain of that, knowing how much it had to take to make Nikita angry like that. He turned and opened the door.

"I hope you aren't hiding anything from me, Nikita," Michael stated as he looked over at Nikita from the door. Nikita blinked her eyes a few times in rapid succession and leaned her head back. She stared for a long time at Michael as he stared back.

"I hope you aren't stupid enough to think you can hide anything from me, Michael. Sometimes you don't realize how well you trained me," Nikita stated out with icy words. Michael stared for a moment and then dropped his head and left.

The door closed soundly.

*

The hot water swirled as the bath crystals were dropped in. The steam lifted up out of the tub, circling in the air and about. It caused the mirror to fog and caused Nikita to disappear in the stool that she sat on, waiting for the water to be ready.

The day had been a nightmare.

Strike that, Michael had been a nightmare.

The mission was going as planned, until Michael defied Nikita's orders and continued on with his planned mission profile. The same mission profile that Michael had attempted to hide from Nikita. the same mission profile that had Section Eight losing eight good operatives for no good reason.

Nikita had found a way around losing the operatives. In fact, it was a rather good plan, one that allowed everyone to get out fine, without most of them getting in touch with gunfire.

Of course, that was until Michael went against Nikita's orders and without telling her.

Nikita stared at the hot water as she thought about the conversation that occurred over the units. Nikita had known better than to allow Michael out on the mission with free reign. Once he had left on the mission, she went to the units and patched in.

Nikita expected it. She was sadden to acknowledge it, but she knew for certain that Michael would pull something like this. she wished that he hadn't, but he did.

Now the tension of protecting all the operatives throughout Michael's mission, telling them when to duck and roll, had Nikita's body in knots like she hadn't had for a while. Of course, there was also the tension caused by Michael being there to start with. She wanted to yell at Michael, but decided a hot bath would be better.

Of course, she never thought that Michael would burst into her little suite of rooms, let alone her bathroom.

"Nikita! That was uncalled for!" Michael's voice roared and Nikita reached down and turned off the water. She waited for the steam to dissipate some, so she could see Michael. She looked at him and his face.

"Don't question me, Michael. You don't have the authority," Nikita stated with a small smile on her face. She looked at him and looked at the water. She didn't want this disturbed either.

"You haven't run as many mission as I have! I know how a mission works!" Michael snapped as his voice echoed in the bathroom.

"Did you get the target?" Nikita questioned.

"Yes."

"Did you get the information and the money?" Nikita inquired as she tilted her head. Her voice was getting stronger and stronger.

"Yes."

"Did you get the bank accounts and contacts?" Nikita hurried to say.

"Yes."

"Did you lose any operatives or have any causalities?" Nikita snapped as she knew her point was going to be made.

"No," Michael admitted with a small voice.

"Then what is your issue?" Nikita questioned as she stood up from the bench. She kicked her shoes off and knew that Michael was just standing there.

"What are you doing?" Michael questioned as he reached out and grabbed Nikita's upperarm. Nikita wrenched it away and didn't bother to rub it, although she could feel a bit of pain left over.

"I'm taking a bath," Nikita bluntly stated as she looked into the foggy mirror. Her image was just a blur and Nikita turned her head abruptly away. She didn't know why the image had bothered her.

"No, we are going to talk!" Michael demanded as he stared at Nikita. His voice rattled in the room and Nikita turned around to stare at Michael.

"What is this obsession with talking, Michael? You never wanted to talk in the past!" Nikita commented and pointed out quickly. She stared into Michael's eyes as she finally saw that he was listening to her.

Finally.

"What about when I got my memory back? You didn't want to talk about anything that had happened! You just wanted to pretend that nothing had happened and to go back to the way things used to be!" Nikita snapped, and she wrapped her arms around her body. She knew that she had to slow her mind down and her emotions. She was starting to feel out of control, and after being out of control at Michael once, she wasn't going to do it again.

"It was a difficult time for me, Nikita," Michael stated softly and Nikita nodded her head. She even smiled, but Michael chilled as that look changed and turned into a frown.

"And it wasn't difficult for me?" Nikita questioned. Michael knew not to answer as Nikita threw her hands up in the air at him and turned away.

"So why are you here now, Michael? To make my life miserable?" Nikita imposed the questioned as she stared at the mock window that was to make the bathroom look like it was in a building and that there was an outside.

"I am here to see if you would come back," Michael stated in crystal words. Nikita turned and looked at him. For a second she was hoping that Michael was asking if she would go back to him, but she looked and knew.

"I'm not going back to Section One to be lower than you, Michael. I am in charge of Section Eight! I've made it, Michael!" Nikita stated as she swung her hands around in the room, indicating for Michael to look around.

"It doesn't look like you've made it. Who are your friends around here? Steward?" Michael snapped and Nikita shook her head and then slapped her hands against the wall. The sound echoed as Michael's eyes looked at the beauty of Nikita. If they weren't arguing, he would have noticed how much he missed to feel his lips against the curve of his neck.

"I don't need friends, Michael," Nikita stated as she smiled. She was trying to say that she was happy without friends.

"Oh, yeah... I forgot... that's why you sent everything back that Walter and Birkoff sent you," Michael judged and Nikita turned her head to stare at the mirror again. It emptied her soul looking at it.

"What about Walter, Nikita? He means a lot to you," Michael questioned with a voice that was more friendly. Nikita blinked her eyes and looked up to the light in the bathroom, seeing the steam that continued to hang in the room, even though the water was off and starting to cool.

"He has helped... and I can talk to him," Nikita stated with steady words. Michael didn't believe them and Nikita knew that he wouldn't.

"He is more than a friend, Nikita," Michael assessed and she shrugged her shoulders as she looked at Michael's eyes. He had switched approaches again.

"And he would want me to find a place that makes me happy! I have never been as safe as I am now, inside of Section Eight. I have never been able to dream elsewhere, but now I can," Nikita stated, hoping that Michael would just take what she says and goes. She didn't want to continue this. Nikita felt that she didn't have the strength too.

"You are still scared of what Section One is going to do, aren't you?" Michael questioned and Nikita smugly smiled.

"I'm not scared of what they might do, Michael... I'm prepared for what they will do... Including you," Nikita stated as she reached out. Nikita stopped her movements and then pulled her shirt over her head.

"Were you going to seduce me, Michael?" Nikita mocked as she stood in front of him, down to her bra and pants now. She swayed her hips from side to side as she licked her lips. "See... you think I didn't learn my Valentine lessons very well... poor, poor, Michael..."

"Nikita, this is serious," Michael stated as Nikita unbuckled her pants and started to allow them to drop from her hips.

"I know it is serious. To you, nothing inside of Section Eight is serious... you only care about Section One, Michael... That will never change," Nikita pointed out. She looked around and smiled. "But I like it here. I have a place that will let me do things that Section One would have never let me do."

"Like have a child?" Michael questioned out bitterly.

"Or two," Nikita snapped back in the same sort of bitter voice. She shook her head back and forth. Nikita allowed a soft sigh out.

"Patrick's child? Really, Nikita? Is that what you want?" Michael challenged and Nikita shrugged her shoulders and looked around.

"I don't have to answer that now. It isn't going to happen," Nikita stated as she looked around the room. She felt for a moment almost sad, but she looked at Michael and straightened her back.

"I don't know who you are, Nikita!" Michael firmly assessed and Nikita nodded her head. She looked around the bathroom and smiled.

"I don't think you ever did, Michael," Nikita agreed with Michael Michael didn't like that response any more than had Nikita disagreed with him.

"I knew the most about you, Nikita.... I am sure that I knew of your past... I understood it... Did Patrick?" Michael questioned, again attacking. Nikita reached her hands behind her back and allowed the bra drop from her body.

"Yes... you knew my childhood, Michael... You knew the facts... But did you understand it? No... No one understands it," Nikita commented as she reached down to touch the water with a hand. Nikita stood back up and sighed.

"This isn't want I planned. You came too soon," Nikita commented and Michael's face dropped. Something was registering in his mind that told him that there was a lot more going on than Nikita being a leader of Section One. He didn't know what Nikita was talking about when she spoke of plans and such.

It scared Michael to hear Nikita speak like that.

"That sounds like you have a plan of some sorts, Nikita. What are you doing?" Michael stated in tense words. He didn't know what he was going to do. He was finding it difficult to think and to assess anything any longer.

"It doesn't matter, Michael. You are just not to be here... I want you to go back," Nikita stated and Michael shook his head. Nikita looked around and finally stripped out of her panties.

"Is this what you want? To Valentine me? You aren't doing a good job, Michael!" Nikita shouted as she looked around. She stared at him and shook her head.

"I don't know what I ever saw in you, Michael," Nikita whispered. Michael stepped forward and touched her cheek. She closed her eyes and willed herself not to be touched by that stroke. She wanted nothing to do with that touch.

"Nikita.... Kita..." Michael whispered, but Nikita pulled back. She looked to her fingers and then to Michael.

"I want you to go now... I want to finish my bath..." Nikita stated and Michael tried to shake his head.

"Tell me you didn't mean those words," Michael whispered, almost expressing pain. Nikita stared at him and she looked at Michael.

"I don't know anymore, Michael... Because if you were the man that I saw all that stuff in back them, Michael... You would have stopped me before I came here..." Nikita commented with sad words. She looked to the water and then reached for her pants. She pulled out some change and handed it to Michael.

"I'm onto you, Michael... We can't ever be what we once were... but here is some change.... go find a wishing well... that is our only hope... And that doesn't look too good either," Nikita stated as she pulled her hand away.

Michael wanted to speak, but he stared at Nikita. He didn't know what had just transpired during those minutes of heated argument. He didn't know if he knew anything more about what happened or what to do. He didn't know if Nikita was totally against going back to Section One or just being with him.

"I don't love you, Michael. That is not going to work to get me back to Section One... Neither is scaring me," Nikita stated. She knew that the words would push him out of the room.

Nikita waited for the door to close before she plunged her entire body into the hot water, not caring about the warmth. She stared at the door and started to cry.

And she didn't know why.

* Nikita walked down the hallway. Two weeks had passed quickly. Nikita avoiding Michael and visa versa. It was best that way and so far, Michael had not broken anymore of Nikita's orders. It was peaceful for a while, but for Nikita, the tension would never go away.

She still grieved for Patrick.

Worse, she still grieved privately for a relationship that never fully died. She grieved for what she no longer had with Michael.

"Nikita... You got to do something... Michael is sparring again with the new recruits," Steward stated and Nikita lightly smiled. She remembered seeing the videotapes of Michael sparring when she was gone from Section One. He was brutal. And he was quick.

"I'll go down there in a few minutes.... Did my new simulations program arrive?" Nikita questioned as she looked around the computer station. Steward snapped his fingers and started to move around, looking for the box. He pulled it out and smiled.

"Here it is. Do you want the operatives to start with something particular?" Steward questioned and Nikita shook her head as she looked at the box. She looked at the instructions and smiled lightly.

"It's far beyond the operatives at this point... send it to my office," Nikita stated as she handed the box back to Steward.

"What is this program for?" Steward questioned as he placed it on his desk. Nikita moved and placed it in a drawer. A move that made Steward positive that Nikita didn't want it seen by the common operative.

"It is for training... that is all that you need to know," Nikita stated as she started to move.

"Oh Steward?" Nikita called out as she turned back around.

"Yes?" Steward questioned as he looked at Nikita. He at first felt that it was going to be difficult to work for Nikita, as she was now the leader. He had some trouble adjusting to Nikita, but she wasn't as difficult as she had been when she first arrived inside Section Eight. Patrick had rubbed off of her somewhat. But Steward wasn't sure if it was just because Michael was around.

Steward knew one thing. He was scared of Michael.

"I don't want Michael to know about the program... I have to work on modifying it and it would be counterproductive if Michael knew," Nikita stated and Steward nodded his head. He liked when he got to hide things from Michael. It was the only way he could beat Michael.

Nikita did not know what to expect when she arrived at the sparring gym. She walked down the hallway and stopped as she saw the door to the locker room. She hadn't had a good workout with a living person in some time and Nikita smiled. She was sure that Michael hadn't seen her hand-to-hand combat scores of late. Although she was the leader of Section Eight, Nikita still prided herself on being ready for anything. Her operatives were young and just starting proper training. If she had to step in, she had to be ready.

That even meant if she had to spar with Michael.

A few moments later Nikita stepped out in the hallway wearing the black gym clothing she selected. Nothing too tight and nothing to loose. She wasn't about to give Michael an advantage to start with. She was wearing nothing but black from head to toe. Her hair was in a sleek ponytail. Unless Michael really was getting bad, he wouldn't pull her hair.

He knew what Nikita would do if he did.

"I didn't know you liked to pick on recruits that aren't your material, Michael," Nikita spoke out as she opened the door and looked at the two recruits on the floor and then the one barely standing in front of Michael. He dropped his hands and turned towards Nikita. The recruit tried to rush him and Michael raised his hand and held him at bay.

"You don't have many operatives..." Michael stated and Nikita raised her eyebrows.

"Well, you shouldn't be beating the recruits up for no reason. Don't waste your time with them if you aren't going to train them," Nikita stated and Michael pushed his hand away, throwing the recruit to the ground.

"I want to spar, I don't have anyone to spar with," Michael stated and Nikita looked around and gestured around.

"Is that because they know how lethal you are or because they realize that you pick on the recruits?" Nikita snapped out rudely. She watched as Michael narrowed his eyes. It was the reaction that Nikita wanted.

"It is because no one is properly trained yet. You are taking too long. Till then, I have no one to spar with, Nikita," Michael belittled Nikita in a loud voice probably heard deep into the hallways.

"How about me?" Nikita questioned with a smile on her face. Michael laughed and looked around as the recruits started to run. There was also a small group of operatives that had stopped to see what was going on. They had been supplied enough from the Section rumor mill that there had been some sort of pass with Michael and Nikita. Nikita was sure that even a few got their hands on a copy of the Armel mission tape.

"Nikita, I am your trainer... I know your weaknesses," Michael stated and Nikita smiled and looked to the window.

"My so-called weakness, Michael..." Nikita stated and Michael shook his head.

"I know them all. We've worked together for a long time, Nikita," Michael stated and Nikita nodded her head.

"But that would mean I would know yours," Nikita stated with a small smile on her face.

"My so-called weakness, Nikita..." Michael echoed back and he shook his head. "I won't spar with you."

"So you are afraid?" Nikita questioned. It caused Michael to chuckle again. He shook his head as he looked out to the window.

"Don't do this to look good, Nikita... Not for them," Michael muttered softly, so he wasn't heard to the operatives outside. Nikita looked around and licked her lips.

"I'm serious, Michael. If you haven't had a decent sparring partner, you know that I haven't," Nikita stated as she lifted her hands and indicated that it was ready to fight.

"Nikita..." Michael warned as he settled into position. He looked around, waiting for one of the operatives to stop it, but Nikita started to move forward.

"Remember what you learned about me and the computers, Michael?" Nikita questioned and Michael wrinkled his eyes. Nikita moved and launched the kick to his jaw, it soundly connected and Nikita stepped back with her hands still up and smile on her face.

"I'm better than you know," Nikita remarked with a smile on her face.

"In your dreams," Michael stated as his face started to change. He realized that Nikita wanted to do this and in his heart, he wanted to do this too. Michael moved and placed a paw on Nikita's chest. It wasn't really a strike and Nikita shook her head as she launched a fist to his chest.

"Come on Michael... FULL CONTACT! Or am I poisoned because I was with Patrick?" Nikita hissed and she watched as Michael's face turned to stone.

"I can't believe you! You never do listen!" Michael commented. He reached forward and flipped Nikita over his hip. Nikita rolled and got up on her feet as Michael turned around.

She had never been that quick before.

They moved together, grabbing and grasping for any hold that was better than the others. Michael found it hard to think that this was Nikita as she grabbed her hip and threw him up and over her shoulder. He didn't feel the pain as he landed on his back on the floor, he felt the sting that this was Nikita.

"Get up," Nikita growled as she stood over Michael. He stared at her and finally did as ordered. Not because he had been ordered to do so, but because he wanted to get this Nikita back for flipping.

They moved together and Nikita gained the same upper hand, able to her hands in the same manner that she had when she flipped Michael over. He went over her shoulders, but landed on his feet. He moved immediately, wrapping his arms around her body, holding her tightly.

It was meant to get her to stop. Michael noticed that he had stepped into some pool of emotions of Nikita's that was making her more than dangerous. He knew if he didn't stop her soon, that he would start reacting on the same emotions. That was too dangerous, not just for him, but for both of them.

Nikita started to think of just stopping, but that was when Michael's hands pulled tighter at her, pushing her closer and closer to him. It wasn't Michael's presence that made her move, it was the move, the way she was being held. It was a reaction that Michael had been able to train Nikita quickly on, because she had often been held like this on the streets and whenever held like this, something primal surged in her.

"LET ME GO!" Nikita hissed as she took her foot and slammed it into Michael's shin. It threw Michael off balance and both operatives tumbled to the floor. Michael blinked his eyes as Nikita was about to get free from him. He reached out and grabbed for air.

He caught her ponytail.

Nikita yelped as Michael yanked her quickly back with the hair. He tried to wrap his hands around her neck, but Nikita turned and kicked once again to the shin.

"Nikita... let's stop..." Michael said as he rolled up onto his feet and saw Nikita ready to pounce. Nikita shook her head and Michael moved.

For the next several long moments, it was regular sparring back and forth. Both Michael and Nikita appeared to be emotionless as they glanced blows off of one another. Neither of them noticed the crowd that had gathered. Neither of them knew that Steward had been summoned.

Michael rushed forward and grabbed Nikita, this time, hold her face so he faced her. His hands were on her lower back. Several would say for a few seconds, it appeared as if they were going to stop fighting and passionately kiss. They looked into each others eyes and stared for the longest time.

Until Nikita spat at Michael and head-butted him.

But Michael didn't let go. If the fight was going to get dirty and nasty, he was going to get dirty and nasty.

"That isn't skill, Nikita," Michael hissed back as he looked at Nikita. He pushed his hands into Nikita's lower back harder. She almost winced in pain, but it didn't take a facial expression for Michael to know the pressure that he was placing on her.

"STOP!" Nikita hissed, but Michael didn't. So Nikita resorted to the things that Michael wasn't expecting.

A knee to the crotch. Not too hard, for some unconscious reason, but enough to cause Michael to drop his hands.

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP!" Nikita hissed and their eyes met again. They were furious with each other for other reasons. Nikita held the past and the present at Michael, holding him responsible for allowing her life to get so messed up. Michael was upset that Nikita had the gull to leave and the fact that he spent years of his life protecting her, while it appeared she was playing games with her tests and scores. All of that reflected back to their relationship. The passion of their fighting was memorizing to the operatives and they could only image what they had once been when together in the throws of love.

"Give up, Nikita," Michael said as he grabbed her into a wrestling move. They were almost the same height and Michael started to stretch at Nikita's body. He wanted her to submit.

Nikita would never submit.

"This is Section Eight, Michael... my world!" Nikita hissed as she bent her head some more. Michael looked down as Nikita dug her teeth into the muscle right above his kneecap. Michael jumped up in pain and allowed Nikita free.

Now it was to punches and kicks. Nikita would get a good roundhouse kick in, Michael would slug her with an uppercut. Finally they looked at each other as the door lined up with Steward and Katherine standing there.

"I HATE YOU!" both Michael and Nikita growled in the last second.

"STOP!" Steward yelled, but it was already to late, both had lined each other up with a pounding sidekicks. Both landed on the floor with their faces down.

Out for the count.

"Katherine... get the operatives out of here..." Steward stated as he picked up two towels. He hadn't seen that much blood when he first entered, but with the power of those kicks, Steward wasn't sure what he would find on either one.

Nikita was the first to pick her head up off the ground. That was the one that Steward was going to aid first either way. He never meant for Nikita to spar with Michael when he wanted her to stop Michael. He looked at her as she settled her head back down. Katherine had entered and looked around.

"I should call medical," Katherine stated.

"No," Michael's voice rang out as he started to pick his body up quickly. He got to his knees and touched the blood that was on his face. He took the towel that Steward threw to him and wiped at the blood. He looked over at Nikita and Steward shook his head.

"Too late to be concerned!" Steward hissed as Nikita started to moan. She picked her head back up off of the floor and turned to a sitting position. Most of her hair had come out of the ponytail holder and now covered her face. Michael moved towards Nikita as Steward bent down.

"Ok... ok... hold this to your face..." Steward stated as he handed the towel to Nikita. Michael watched as Steward walked away. He knew that Nikita had ordered it.

"So I'm not getting medical?" Katherine questioned and Steward took her hand and moved her out of the room, again, leaving Michael and Nikita alone.

"Are you ok?" Michael questioned as he settled down to the floor, sitting much like Nikita. She pushed at her hair to show that his kick had landed flush with her eyes. She was going to have quite a black eye. It had even been cut, but most of it was in the eyebrow, so the stitches would. Michael was bleeding from the nose, but was sure that he hadn't gotten a broken nose.

"We have to talk," Nikita stated and Michael tried to nod his head in agreement, but the pain was too much. Michael reached out and touched Nikita's cheek.

"What happened to us, Nikita?" Michael questioned and Nikita shrugged her shoulders and winced in pain.

"But I can't think right now..." Nikita stated and Michael tried to laugh, but it caused too much pain.

"Soon?" Michael offered and Nikita nodded her head, which wasn't a big movement either. Michael stood up and moved towards the door. Nikita tried to sit up straight and could feel the pain in her lower back. She was sure she wasn't going to be getting out of bed for the next four days.

"Tomorrow... same time... my office... to talk," Nikita stated and Michael nodded his head and opened the door. He left and Katherine rushed in.

"That mean man... beating up on a beautiful creature like you...." Katherine said as she blotted as Nikita's gash. Nikita tried to swipe her hand away, but now that Michael was gone, she felt so much more worse.

"I just need a bed..." Nikita stated and Katherine nodded her head. She reached down and pulled Nikita up to her feet.

"I should get you to medical..." Katherine stated and Nikita grabbed Katherine's hands and looked into the older woman's eyes.

"No medical..... I have the supplies in my suite.... Call Walter... He'll walk you through what to do," Nikita stated. Katherine was about to protest when an operative ran down the hallway with a camcorder in his hand. He was showing the fight he got on tape and the moves Nikita did on Michael.

Katherine knew not to protest Nikita's decisions any longer

*

It didn't feel like eleven hours of sleep. It didn't feel like several hours in a hot tub. Nikita's body ached and she just couldn't move. She knew of her orders at Michael for the meeting and had been able to change them, so she wouldn't have to leave her suite.

Still, she found moving hard.

She was still in the silk bathrobe when Michael entered the suite and found her on the bed. He tilted his head and smiled lightly.

"Slow going?" Michael questioned, with slight bruising showing around his slightly swollen nose. Nikita lifted her head and allowed Michael to see the black eye that he had caused to occur. Michael opened his mouth as he pulled a chair over to the bed and stared at Nikita.

"Are you sure you are ok?" Michael questioned and Nikita stared at him for several moments. She finally tilted her head to the side and leaned on one of her arms. Her bathrobe opened a hint and Michael tried to pull his eyes away.

He couldn't.

"I'm fine, Michael. We are to talk," Nikita stated and she watched as Michael nodded his head. He seemed deep in thought and Nikita rubbed her nose as she tried to figure out what Michael was thinking about.

"So you didn't go to the apartment that everyone talks about is a gem?" Michael questioned and Nikita dropped her hand and stared at Michael. The question didn't sound like something that Michael would ask. It just seemed to be out of place.

"I don't get there much. It's easier here," Nikita stated as she finally pulled at the bathrobe to wrap herself tighter into it and to hold herself. She was moving her feet back and forth, the only part of her body that didn't have any sort of ache to it.

It wasn't from the fight alone that Nikita hurt from. She had never been able to rest and heal from the mission that Patrick was killed. She was injured then and fought the infection. She had continued to find it hard to sleep anywhere for more than a few hours, and last night had been the last night that she slept the entire night through. She wasn't about to mention that at Michael.

He wasn't on the need to know basis about her personal habits.

"I know you, Nikita... You need your personal space," Michael stated as he looked around the suite. It wasn't filled with anything that was uniquely Nikita. In fact, it looked like Section Eight personnel would come in twice a day to clean it, even if Nikita was using it as her home at all times.

"Well...I couldn't last night," Nikita stated, hoping to drop the subject. Nikita was sure that there were more important things that needed to be spoken about and not about where she was sleeping. She took a moment to look around the room and cross her legs as she looked at Michael.

"Business?" Michael questioned and Nikita merely nodded her head. She didn't see the sense of wasting words if Michael was already correct with what she wanted to talk about.

"Are you planning something I should know about, Nikita?" Michael questioned as he tried to connect his eyes with Nikita's. She was avoiding them for the first few seconds, which probably spoke more to the truth than any of Nikita's words would.

However, Nikita would shock him.

"Yes, I am planning something, Michael. Do you need to know about it?" Nikita paused. "No."

"No?" Michael questioned as he head leaned forward in disbelief. He didn't know what disturbed him the most, the fact that Nikita told him the truth or the fact that she wasn't about to tell him.

"You will be going back to Section One, Michael," Nikita stated as she turned her head to the side. She stared at the wall, finding it much more comfortable to her eyes.

Michael stared at Nikita for a long time. Her hair was so clean and looked like pure silk as it glistened in the light. Michael reached out and touched it, rubbing it between his index finger and thumb.

He missed that feeling.

He also missed the scent that Nikita was right now. Just out of the shower or bath. She was always so much more exotic right after bathing. Michael ran his eyes down her back as he continued to rub his fingers in her hair.

Section One had ordered him to get Nikita to come back no matter what. They wanted Michael in some way make Nikita fall back in love with him and follow him like a puppy dog back to Section One. That wasn't about to occur. He was about to fall madly in love with Nikita again.

He had to do something.

"Do you want something?" Nikita questioned as she turned her head and looked at Michael's fingers still twined in her hair. Her eyes softened for a few seconds and Michael dropped his head to the side.

"You are so beautiful, Nikita," Michael whispered. Nikita shifted on the bed and Michael moved onto the bed. He rubbed her hair as she looked back and forth.

"Michael... this isn't talking..." Nikita stated with a trembling voice. Michael took his hand and rubbed it to her shoulder and then down her arm. He loved the feeling of the silk bathrobe on her skin, knowing that just a thin piece of material made the barrier between his lips and her skin.

She was so hot. Michael could feel the heat raising from Nikita's body through the silk.

"Sometimes we talk too much," Michael stated as he leaned in and rubbed his forehead against hers. Nikita closed her eyes and al lowed his lips to touch hers.

"This is too soon..." Nikita whispered, but she hadn't backed away. Michael smiled and rolled on top of her.

"It had been too long," Michael declared as he moved to harshly take her mouth. His mouth started the tango as his hands slide to the opening that was now gaping in the front of her bathrobe.

She arched up to his hands.

"Too long... too long..." Michael muttered as his fingertips started to touch her breast, but something changed in that moment, in that touch.

"DAMN YOU!" Nikita hissed as she jerked her body to fill with tension and to throw Michael's body off of her and the bed. He soundly landed on the floor, staring at Nikita as she pulled the bathrobe tighter on her body to stare at him.

"I will not let you Valentine me, Michael!" Nikita declared and Michael dropped his head. She looked away with the bitter tears in her eyes. For one moment she had hoped that this wasn't part of his plan, but it was from how quickly he moved, and from the places he didn't touch, that Nikita knew what was happening. She knew when his fingertips touched her breasts before he kissed at the bottom of her neck, that he was just rehearsing his Valentine moves.

It hurt her. A lot.

She stood up and moved to the closet, pulling out a tan sweater that was twice her size. She wrapped it around her body as she turned to look at Michael as he stared at his hands on the bed.

"You don't understand, Nikita.... I need you to come back," Michael stated and Nikita tilted her head to the side. In that moment, she pitied Michael and what he had become. He was trying anything to please those inside of Section One, but it appeared that he no longer cared about what pleased him. It was sad to look at Michael like that.

"I don't care about whatever mission you are on, Michael... I am not a mission," Nikita stated out firmly as she tied the belt around the sweater tightly, completely covering her body from Michael's hands and touch. He had been so close to breaking Nikita's defenses, he didn't realize it. It was a blessing.

"I had to try, Nikita..." Michael stated and Nikita turned to look at her computer and sighed. She rubbed her face as she thought of a way to get them both through this and to keep her plan intact. It was going to be difficult.

She wondered if in the end that Michael would ever care to talk to her again.

"You have tried. Now I suggest that you report back to Madeline and Operations and return to Section One," Nikita stated out firmly as she stared Michael's hands. She couldn't look at his face in this moment.

"You know that that it wasn't enough, Nikita.... You didn't forget the way things were inside of Section One," Michael stated and Nikita felt her heart stopped.

The impending cold that Nikita didn't feel inside of Section Eight was now being felt. It was as if Michael brought it with him from Section One. It was a feeling that Nikita had gotten used to not being near and now was scared that it was back.

All she could do was contribute it to Michael.

She didn't see that in a way, she contributed to it, also.

"I never forget Section One, Michael," Nikita finally hissed, allowing out some of the emotions. Michael stood up and moved away from the bed. He felt disgusted with himself. Nikita looked at Michael and shrugged her shoulders.

"But this isn't all about Section One, Michael... If you really wanted me back... you wouldn't have to try as hard," Nikita stated as she looked to the bed. She straightened the sheets and ignored Michael.

He was distraught with Nikita's words. They had hit home. He didn't know how he would be able to continue working with Nikita with those words. He didn't know what he wanted. He knew the mission and he knew his heart. He wasn't ready to get those two things mixed up, not after all this time.

"I'll go check intel," Michael stated softly as he stepped back. Michael waited a few seconds, but Nikita continued to straighten the all ready neat bed. She didn't stop moving and Michael knew she would not turn around.

The door closed behind Michael and Nikita dropped to the bed.

She honestly didn't know what was next. She didn't know if she could even do what her heart told her too, to take Michael's offer and run.

In the end, some other emotion was too strong.

And no one realized it was there. Most importantly, Nikita didn't know.

*

15 days later, the full moon was out.

Nikita made her way out of Section Eight finally, to the apartment that she had almost forgotten about. She struggled down the hallway, thinking about the times that she had walked down the same hallway with Patrick by her side, doing something to make her laugh and smile.

The apartment was musty as she entered. She looked around and turned on some lights. That was only something that was for temporary lighting, as she needed to reacquaint herself with the surroundings. Nikita immediately started to find the matches and lighting the candles.