Michael could not help but notice the glass office that once stood as Operations' place of barking orders, as operatives sat down at a bench that was recently placed inside of it. He bitterly dropped his head as the two operatives drank some coffee, looking out over Section One. It was only one of the changes made, due to the events that had occurred. It had happened quickly. A week ago, Operations was trapped in that area, and now, operatives used it as a casual meeting place.

Michael looked up to notice that he had been being watched. He looked up at the two operatives and turned into the dark hallways, seeking a place to hide to gather his thoughts as he moved to a place where he had to be ready. He looked at the passing wall and before he wanted it to happen, he arrived at the door. Michael turned his head back and looked over his shoulder as he pressed the code and entered the office.

"Michael." Madeline stated as she looked at Michael from her chair. Michael turned his head to make sure the door closed before walking down the stairs to be on the level with Madeline. He moved to the chair and sat down.

"Nikita is going home today." Madeline stated and Michael nodded his head. He was the one that bargained her release from medical, a week after she arrived. It was not going to be easy, she was still in a cast from hip to toe and she needed to gain more weight and rapidly.

"Yes." Michael replied and Madeline merely looked at Michael as she turned her head to the side and looked at his apprehensive look on his face. Madeline flipped the computer screen off and looked at Michael.

"What is it?" Madeline questioned and Michael looked around the office, as if checking that there was no one else around. It was a nervous habit that Madeline just recently started to notice, becoming more and more pronounced. It was going to have to be addressed soon if it continued. Yet, she had only seen it in direct relationship to anything dealing with Nikita.

Now, he was using it to be driving the attention off of her question. Madeline leaned back in her chair and allowed the loud sigh to be heard.

"As of now, Oversight has decided to drop the Nikita subject. I think with the medical reports they received, they feel she is not a problem. Of course, the reports say that she is more injured than she is, and of course, the videos will continue to show that Nikita is in medical for about another two weeks." Madeline said as her eyes racked over Michael's entire face, as it did not seem to flinch. Those words, however comforting they were to Walter, Birkoff, and Steven, did not scratch the worry off of Michael's face. Madeline knew they wouldn't, because Michael had stayed in that room, through everything and knew more than the others did. He knew the truth of the battle about to occur. Madeline was going to have to fight for the right of Nikita to stay physically alive and Michael had his own battle. Possibly the battle for Nikita's heart and soul and her sanity was going to occur.

"She isn't talking." Michael blankly stated as his eyes diverted off to the side. Madeline nodded her head up and down, but knew that Michael had not seen the motion, and she was puzzled. She placed her hands down on the table surface and looked at Michael, waiting for him to turn his head towards her.

"Yes. She is very withdrawn. That may change at home. That's why I approved it." Madeline said and Michael looked at Madeline and then frowned. He didn't think that Nikita should be sent home now. Now is when she needed constant attention.

"I will be with her, Madeline. I can't help her." Michael said and Madeline looked into Michael's eyes as they glowed green towards her. Madeline folded her hands and looked at Michael.

"You underestimate your power and influence on Nikita." Madeline said and Michael stood up, but never removing his eyes from Madeline.

"You can't fix this like you did with the operatives and Operations. You just can't change the setting and think it is going to change!" Michael argued back and Madeline tilted her head to the side and licked her lips.

"You have been staying at her apartment. It is the only setting we have to send her home too." Madeline said and Michael shook his head and then ran his hands through his hair. He shook the head and looked at Madeline.

"The last words we heard from her were in that rage in the bed. Where she finally spoke about what her mother did to her. I don't know how to handle this. I am not you!" Michael replied firmly and Madeline stood up and smoothed her skirt with her hands. She tilted her head to the side and pressed her lips together as she tried to form the words.

"Are you suggesting that I take her home?" Madeline questioned and Michael rolled his head around and frowned as he looked into Madeline's eyes with his own eyes filled with disappointment. Madeline sighed and moved around the desk, knowing Michael's eyes followed her.

"Michael, no one can even suggest that she will be the same woman. She won't. She can never go back to a time before Oversight took her. She can only go on." Madeline said and Michael blinked his eyes with his head dropped down. Madeline could almost feel Michael thinking.

"What if she can't go on?" Michael questioned with a voice that echoed all of his worries and all of his concerns.

"Then we won't have a problem with Oversight." Madeline said bluntly as she moved back to her desk. Madeline, herself, had spent many sleepless nights pondering the same question that Michael had just posed and it was not an easy answer to know and understand. She pulled her chair back and looked at Michael again.

"Is there something else?" Madeline asked as Michael turned and looked at her.

"You haven't selected a second in command." Michael stated and Madeline smiled and nodded her head.

"I know I haven't. I have to see how some handle the next few days or weeks. As of now, Walter is filling in on a very temporary basis." Madeline said and Michael blinked his eyes and almost fell forward with shock of her words. Madeline smiled tenderly as she watched Michael's expression go from shock to one of wonderment.

"He is handling some of the more, ah, delicate matters. I have some operatives that have needed some... counseling and those are who he is helping. He isn't making the hard decisions, Michael." Madeline explained and Michael blinked his eyes.

"Well then maybe Walter should take Nikita home." Michael snapped out and Madeline lifted her head to the side and looked at Michael with heavy eyes. Michael looked to the stairs as Madeline lifted her head up and stared at Michael.

"Michael, I would say that you are scared of taking Nikita home to the one place that she knows to be her own." Madeline stated and Michael turned his eyes to stare at Madeline and then to look away from her. He knew at that moment, that Madeline was not offering anymore help that what she had already said. There would be no more answers to his questions and no more suggestions. Here he was, stuck in this own private hell, with only himself to rely upon.

"When will the splinter group be taken down?" Michael asked and Madeline bitterly smiled at Michael.

"I will handle that Michael. That is none of your concern." Madeline stated as Michael walked up the stairs. The door started to open as Michael stared at her. She knew that Michael wanted to be one of the men on the team, but she had given him the more important assignment, to protect Nikita. Michael didn't see it that way, but until Madeline had the strictest words that Oversight was going to leave Nikita alone, and that the splinter group was taken from, Michael was the only protection Madeline could be sure of giving Nikita. Madeline hoped that while in the care of Michael that Nikita would regain just one half of the humanity that Nikita had had up until the mission she placed her on.

Madeline watched the door closed and collapsed down into her chair. She regretted that she ever set this mission ahead, afraid that the damage done to Nikita was permanent. For the time being, she did not know how she was going to convince Oversight that Nikita didn't know too much, because, Nikita did know too much. Yet, Madeline's life was one of the lives that Nikita had saved, and she was not going to let that go unnoticed. Madeline could only hope that she was taking the right step in the right direction. The words that Nikita no longer spook scared Madeline. She had not said that she was happy that she was going home, and she had not said that she felt like she needed to stay. She was almost like a mute, finding no need for words. It scared Madeline to the core and she could only hope that the shell that Nikita had packed her fragile life within would soon crack and allow her to bloom again.

*

Michael slowly lifted his head and cracked his eyes to the splitting sunlight that filled the room. He turned his head away from the window and shook his head. It had been many days since he last saw sunlight so bright and it took a few moments to bring the reality of where he was and why he was there.

He had brought Nikita back to the apartment, her apartment that he had since she left it so many months ago when she had died. He had carried her up the stairs, as she dragged the crutches in her arms. He wasn't going to have the first night filled with fights, but she just did what she wanted, and allowed him to carry her, with not a word.

In fact, it was the lack of words that worried Michael as he feel asleep on the couch hours later, after watching Nikita just fall asleep in the bed that was hers. It wasn't even like she registered that she was out of Section One's medical area and in the apartment. She just acted as if it was the medical room, like nothing had changed at all.

Michael pushed his body off of the couch that he had slowly reclined in and looked over the back to find an empty bed. Michael turned around.

"NIKITA!" Michael cried out as he saw her standing in the kitchen. She picked her head up and dropped the spoon that was in her hand. Michael scampered up to his feet and moved towards her.

"Where are the crutches?" Michael questioned as he looked at her delicately balanced on one foot, and using the other foot, with just her bare toe, to keep that balance. Michael reached for her shoulders and she looked up to the room.

"Stay there, ok? You need to use the crutches." Michael commanded as he moved out of the kitchen area to retrieve the crutches. He didn't know how she had gotten from the bedroom to the kitchen without waking him up. Michael was scared by that thought. He knew he had to be alert to help Nikita.

"I was hungry." Nikita stated out clearly and Michael turned around on the stairs, looking at Nikita. Those words sounded like sweet chocolate to his ears. Michael smiled and nodded his head.

"You should have wakened me up. You are very weak and just need a bit of help. Ok?" Michael said and Nikita dropped her head and picked up the spoon.

"No. You need your sleep." Nikita stated and Michael shook his head in disbelief. He found the crutches almost pushed underneath the bed as he heard a cupboard bang off in the kitchen.

"Nikita.. I will get you something to eat. Just stand there!" Michael said firmly and Nikita looked at him with a smile as he got down on his knees and pulled out the crutches. He moved down the stairs and looked at Nikita as she had something in a pot boiling and a colander out to drain the water.

"Here... use these and go sit down." Michael said and Nikita looked up at Michael and licked her lips. Don't order me." Nikita stated firmly and Michael blinked his eyes and then rubbed his chin. He reached out to touch Nikita, but she pulled her body back, almost throwing the delicate balance off and he reached out as she started to fall.

"Nikita.. You need to let me do this. You can't do this." Michael said and Nikita looked up at Michael's eyes with her own red eyes. She hadn't cried in a long time, but Michael knew that look. She had been crying and Michael's heart felt like someone was flaying it into pieces.

"I went to the bathroom by myself." Nikita stated and Michael looked to the crutches as he pushed them towards her.

"Without the crutches? Nikita.. You need them. Your entire leg is in a cast." Michael said and Nikita rolled her eyes up and around. She looked to the crutches and grabbed them. She looked to them and to Michael. He couldn't read her emotions as she looked at them and then threw them away.

"They hurt my arm." Nikita stated as they slammed down to the wood floor. Michael looked at the crutches and then to Nikita.

"That's because they removed the Oversight tracker from that arm, Nikita." Michael stated as he rubbed his chin, as he looked at her. His anger was mounting because she wasn't helping him. All those other times had been so different, with her accepting his help. He couldn't understand why all of a sudden she couldn't allow his help, when she needed it most.

"I can do this for myself. I am not helpless like you would like me to be!" Nikita stated as she pulled out two potholders.

"Nikita.. Please... You can't stand like this." Michael said and Nikita lifted her eyes, now crowning with tears and her bottom lip trembling.

"You want me to helpless.. You want to do everything for me... BUT I DON'T WANT IT! I can help myself! I CAN! I CAN! I CAN!" Nikita cried out as she pulled at the pot. She turned and started to pull it to the sink, but the balanced started to tip as her good foot bounced on the crutch that still was on the around.

Michael could only watch in horror as the entire pot of boiling water, and gnocchi fell out of her hands, splattering over her legs and Nikita tried to jump backwards, and ended up falling backwards, Michael catching her head before it hit the hard kitchen floor. Michael looked around as Nikita screamed. He took a towel and grabbed at the clothing as the boiling water drenched her. Michael looked at the cast as it started to melt away.

"STUPID NIKITA! STUPID NIKITA!" Nikita screamed out at herself and Michael could see the blistering skin starting to form on the areas that the water splattered on her that weren't covered by the cast. The cast itself, was being eaten away quickly. Michael closed his eyes and pulled out his cell phone to make the phone call, sure that if anything, Madeline had already sent a medical team to him, seeing the videotapes. Michael pressed some cold water onto the blisters and swallowed.

His mind was shaken. Out of no where, this all occurred. His first words he hears from Nikita were like heaven and now, only mere minutes later, he showed how ill prepared he was to take care of this Nikita. Maybe it was because she was not the Nikita that he was willing to help when she found her sister and when she was on drugs. Something was there that Nikita didn't want him to know, and he knew that until she allowed it to go, events like this might be a common place.

*

There was a silence in medical as Madeline pushed through the doors. Michael sat off to the left with his head down in his palms and Madeline blinked her eyes as she looked off to the room in which Nikita's cast was being remade. Madeline gave them specific instructions to make sure that Nikita's toe could not touch the ground, as she hoped it would ground Nikita from further wandering around her apartment.

"I didn't say it would be easy, Michael. You knew it would be hard." Madeline said as she walked over to his side. She watched as he lifted his head and shook it.

"She spoke." Michael whispered out as he looked up in Madeline's eyes. Madeline nodded her head and pressed her lips together. She looked into the room and then to Michael.

"That doesn't mean it was good. From what I have heard, she has retreated back into the shell again. That is what we absolutely do not want to occur. She must be hating herself right now, and we do not want that!" Madeline whispered out as she looked towards the room.

"She had been crying, Madeline..... I saw her eyes." Michael said out, as if he was trying to defend what happened. He felt guilty enough, and he didn't want Madeline blaming him for this.

"Well, she has stopped that. Seems as if she is in a self-imposed catatonic state." Madeline said as she looked down at Michael. Michael turned his head in a jerk, feeling the pain of the statement. That wasn't what Madeline wanted.

"Michael, she needs more than just the care of recovery. This may not even work." Madeline said and he lifted his head and stared at her.

"What may not work?" Michael questioned in a haunted voice that trembled with the fear that should be there. Madeline squatted down in her business suit and looked at Michael from below.

"She may not come out of this state." Madeline whispered out and Michael shook his head back and forth, not wanting to listen to Madeline's words. She looked off to the side.

"What she needs is love, Michael. You gave her that in that room when she was crying about Oversight. Why weren't you in that bed with her?" Madeline questioned and Michael dropped his head and shook it. Madeline waited and then shook her own head as she stood up. She walked over to the window and peered in.

"Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should send someone else home with her. I don't want this to continue." Madeline said and Michael lifted his head as his face turned stern.

"What to continue?" Michael demanded and Madeline blinked her eyes as Nikita was crying in the room. She was frustrated, trying to figure it out, but even Madeline couldn't figure it out.

"For you to continue hurting her like you have done in the past." Madeline stated and Michael leapt up from the chair and moved to Madeline. He could not stop himself as he pulled Madeline's shoulder to the side and stared at her.

"Me? Hurt her? How can you say that?" Michael demanded and Madeline pressed her lips together as she looked at the fire that she had caused to rage in Michael's eyes. Madeline blinked her eyes, pleased with the response.

"She has no self-esteem left, she had no motivation left, and when she woke up, in that bed, with you so far away, she only had what she felt was your pity. Do you think that Nikita wants your pity? Has she ever wanted your pity?" Madeline stated and Michael shook his head as he took Madeline's bitter words and processed them.

"It isn't pity!" Michael cried out and Madeline looked into the room and then looked at Michael.

"You have to stop thinking with what you think it is, and try to image everything from what Nikita is thinking." Madeline said and Michael straightened up and stared at Madeline.

"We don't know where she is thinking from. That is the problem! We don't know what pushed her over the edge. The reason why you are giving this to me is because you are afraid that you will fail yourself!" Michael hollered out and Madeline's entire body stiffened with the words. She looked to her hands and then to the room.

"I care for Nikita, Michael. I don't love her." Madeline said as she pushed past Michael and into the medical room, knowing that Michael stood there, blinking his eyes, trying to process the words, knowing that it was hard for Michael to know that everyone knew of his feelings for Nikita. Madeline also knew, those feelings alone, were enough motivation for Michael to continue with Nikita.

"Nikita... I hope that we can get you to stay out of medical this time." Madeline said as she moved to the bedside. Nikita lifted her eyes and looked at Madeline. Madeline stroked some of the hair out of her face. The burns weren't too bad and would heal. The cast was made as Madeline ordered and she nodded her head to the doctor.

"Will others visit me?" Nikita softly questioned and Madeline looked down to Nikita and smiled.

"If that is what you want. I thought you would want sometime with Michael." Madeline said and Nikita turned her head, bringing back her silence. Madeline blinked her eyes and moved out of the room, planning on rethinking her strategy in this fine mess she had created.

*

Michael sat on the chair next to Nikita's bed and looked at her. She was sitting up, but staring off somewhere he had no clue about. After the eight hours spent in medical while the cast dried, Michael had done as Madeline suggested, stay by her side. For Michael, it did not seem as if Nikita changed, staying quiet the entire time. He could see the pain in her eyes and how he wished there was something he could do to release it all, to allow the pain to cry out and go away. How Michael wished he could find that magic wand.

"Why don't you try the sandwich, Nikita?" Michael whispered as he broke a piece of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich off and placed it near her mouth. Nikita dropped her eyes and then looked at Michael. There were tears in her eyes as she turned it away.

"What is it, Nikita? Just tell me." Michael whispered out as he reached a hand out and cradled Nikita's head. He could see the tears, but she didn't make a sound. He shook his head as he rubbed her hair. Michael had been lectured about the importance of food for Nikita one last time as he was waiting for Nikita to use the crutches before leaving Section One.

Michael had decided that maybe he had taken too much control of her life when they first arrived back at the apartment the first time and he carefully helped Nikita to use the crutches to walk up the stairs. If it gave Nikita confidence back, Michael didn't know. He knew that in the past he had been quiet with Nikita, but this silence was going to drive him to the brink of insanity himself.

"Why don't we try some soup?" Michael questioned as he patted Nikita's arm and stood up. He took the tray with the sandwich on it and moved back to the kitchen. He closed his eyes and placed the bowl of soup in the microwave, just to heat it up a little bit. Michael had learned his lesson with Nikita's cast already, and was going to be extremely careful with liquids around her. He did not plan on a return trip to medical anytime soon.

Michael watched the microwave as the bowl spun around in the lit up area. Michael closed his eyes and felt the pounding headache working around his mind. He looked back at Nikita and saw her twirling her hands up in the air and then the tears starting to cry again.

"I'll be right there. You need something to eat." Michael said as he looked straight at her, but her eyes didn't connect with his. He had asked Madeline if Nikita was even hearing them and Madeline said something about selective hearing. All of it sounded like a hassle, as Michael wanted to know exactly what to do for Nikita, and not some abstracts about how to handle her. He needed directions, step-by-step, because Michael had no trust on his instincts when it came to personal relationships.

Michael grabbed the bowl and the tray and moved back the bed. He placed the tray down over Nikita's lap and looked at her. He reached out and wiped the tears away and smiled at Nikita.

"I'm here, Nikita. I'm staying." Michael whispered out and Nikita turned her head and looked at Michael. She blinked her eyes and then looked off to the side. Michael waited, but Nikita made no move to eat the soup herself.

"Let me help you." Michael softly said as he looked at Nikita. He reached for the soup and placed a bit of the liquid on the spoon and moved it towards Nikita's mouth. Michael looked at her face as her lip stayed in a solid line, not taking a movement to eat the soup.

"Open up, Nikita." Michael whispered as he felt like a child. It was like when he had to feed Adam. Michael closed his eyes and swallowed as he remembered some of the things he use to do with Adam. Michael pushed the spoon to Nikita's lip and it appeared as if she was going to eat it. The liquid went in and Michael was dropping his hand for more when the liquid ran back down Nikita's chin.

"Nikita!" Michael exclaimed as he looked at the liquid, not believing for a second that Nikita had regressed to the age of a baby almost. He knew she was there somewhere, but he wasn't sure where. He tried again, as soon as the liquid made it in, and Michael started to rejoice, it came back out. He didn't know if she couldn't eat, if she didn't feel like eating, or if she was doing so because she wanted to make Michael upset at her.

"You have to eat, Nikita. You need to get strong again." Michael said as he lifted the spoon again. This time Nikita's hand snapped up and slapped the spoon away. Michael looked at his shirt that now had the spoon of soup on it and then to Nikita.

"If you don't want the soup, just tell me, Nikita. I can't read your mind." Michael said in frustration as he picked up the tray and moved it away from Nikita. Michael looked at Nikita and saw the mess on Nikita's clothes. He was going to clean it up as the tears started to roll down Nikita's face.

"I didn't mean to yell at you, Nikita.. Shh..." Michael whispered and she rolled her head to the side. Michael rubbed her neck softly and then did as Madeline suggested. He didn't leave; instead, he showed her the love that she obviously needed. He pulled his shoes off and carefully got into the bed next to Nikita's body and held her.

Michael closed his eyes as he had his own memories to think about. As Nikita cried into his shoulder, he thought of Adam, a lot. Michael then raised his head and pressed a kiss to Nikita's forehead, sure that she never had what he had given Adam. Michael knew that Nikita never knew her father, and that her mother was terrible. She probably never had the simple comforts as a baby to being rocked to sleep. She probably would cry herself asleep every time, and so, now, Michael took comfort in holding Nikita now, but also worried that she may never get out of this warp of emotional regression she was deep within.

*

Walter walked down the hallway of Section One, sternly looking around. He rubbed his face as he dropped of the weapons and stared at the man who was doing his job. Yet, today was one day that he was glad that Madeline had moved him away from his normal job. The hallways around Section One were buzzing, but Walter had business to attend to as he walked towards Madeline's office.

"How did the mission go?" Madeline questioned and Walter leaned forward and dropped some pictures down at Madeline's desk. Madeline picked them up and flipped through them and then dropped her head and looked up at Walter.

"Needless to say, I didn't bring any of them back." Walter said and Madeline tilted her head off to the side and waited for Walter to explain himself.

"Look, Madeline.. Those photos go back many years! That's Nikita before she was in Section. Exactly how old is that splinter group! I killed them all... No reason to bring back that scum!" Walter said angrily as he looked at the wall. Madeline lifted her head and dropped the pictures to the desk.

"Walter, I needed you to follow the profile. I didn't send Michael on this mission because I expected this kind of behavior to happen if he did do this mission. Plus, Nikita needs him. I did not send you on this mission to do the same thing that Michael would have done. It would have been easier to send Michael." Madeline explained and Walter turned around and looked at Madeline.

"She needs us all, Madeline! She needs us all! AND THOSE PICTURES!" Walter said as he slammed his hands into his thighs. He moved to the desk, shaking his head, and stared into Madeline's eyes.

"How old is the splinter group? How long as Operations been running a group to work counter-productive to us? How long have they been watching Nikita?" Walter said and Madeline blinked her eyes.

"That is all, Walter. I will find someone else to take second-in-command. You cannot take the stress. I should have known better and take full responsibility for everything that has occurred." Madeline stated and Walter blinked his eyes as he picked up the photos and showed them to Madeline again in slow motion.

"Do you want Michael to see these?" Walter questioned as Madeline reached out for the black and white photographs. She closed her eyes.

"Did you bring back their computer system in one piece, or did you destroy that too without thinking?" Madeline questioned and Walter looked down to the desk and dropped the pictures. He was so angry with all of this that he almost did just blow up the entire splinter group in one shot, but he did bring the computer system back.

"It's being run through the system now." Walter said and Madeline motioned for Walter to take a seat. He gruffly took a seat as Madeline pounced into the system. She looked at the photographs and sighed.

"The splinter group is just over seven years old, from the time that we started to watch Nikita." Madeline explained and Walter lifted his head and looked away. They had been watching Nikita before she was recruited and Walter closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about what the motives were for Section One to be watching Nikita, as it was too inhumane.

"These black and white photographs..." Madeline said as she looked to the images and then to the computer screen. She turned the screen around and showed it to Walter.

"We didn't know of these... It seems as if the splinter group found them in an X-rated store, for sale by her mother a year after Nikita was recruited. Her mother took these photographs, not Section, not Oversight, and not the splinter group." Madeline said and Walter looked at the photographs and then looked to the wall.

"Can I kill her mother?" Walter questioned and Madeline blinked her eyes.

"I did that five years ago, Walter. When I saw these photographs for the first time and destroyed them for the first time." Madeline replied as she turned off the computer screen. Walter shifted around as Madeline stood up. She rubbed her arms lightly and then looked to Walter.

"You are too close to this to have objectivity. Walter, Steven has been asking about Nikita. Maybe in a few days, you can take him to see her." Madeline said and Walter looked around.

"Can she heal?" Walter asked and Madeline lifted her head with a face of white. Walter saw the fear on Madeline's face. He knew Madeline for years longer than he knew Operations. He knew that Madeline would never want to push someone past the brink of no return. It may look like Madeline was capable of it, but she wasn't the witch that everyone made her out to be.

"I may have pushed to far. But I don't know Nikita that well." Madeline said and Walter nodded his head and moved towards the door. He was relieved that he was no longer in a power position. He was glad of what he did, no matter how much Madeline disapproved of it. It was complicated enough, but that splinter group was evil and he did the entire world a favor.

"Walter." Madeline called out as the door opened up. Walter turned and looked at Madeline. She blinked her eyes and forced on a peaceful smile.

"Thank you." Madeline said and turned away from him. Walter nodded his head and left, knowing those things had to get better, they just had too.

*

Michael looked at the white washcloth as he moved to Nikita's bed. She looked up at the ceiling as Michael touched her head. It was hot in the apartment, and she looked uncomfortable and she was sweating. He had been trying to make all the decisions for Nikita, and realized that at this point, it was like she didn't care.

"Time to clean up a bit." Michael whispered as he looked at the dirty shirt, that showed the evidence of tears, sweat, and soup. He was worried about her refusing food, but that had to go hand in hand with feeling worth something. Now, was time to clean her up, and that Michael knew was going to be a challenge on it's own merit.

Michael picked Nikita up and pulled the shirt up off of her body and looked at the chest. He picked up the wash cloth as Nikita started to cry.

"They did a beautiful job, Nikita." Michael whispered as he washed tenderly with the cool water over her stomach. He looked into her eyes as she turned her head further away from Michael's touch. He touched the smoothed chest and stomach, as the plastic surgery wiped away the nasty scars that she had been living with.

"Look, Nikita... those scars are gone... You are very beautiful." Michael said as he reached out with his other hand and touched Nikita's chin. It trembled at his touch but she looked down at her body and nodded her head. Michael felt as if someone had just started to pump his heart up with helium again. Michael smiled and started to clean up near her chin.

"Do you want a tank top to sleep in? It is hot in here." Michael whispered out and Nikita looked into Michael's eyes and burst into tears. Quickly she pushed Michael's hand off of her body and over to cover her exposed self.

"Stop." Nikita cried out and Michael pulled away and moved to the dresser and dug into the clothing. He pulled out a gray tank top and moved back to Nikita. She wasn't going to willingly go into the tank top. We'll cover you up, Nikita." Michael said as he touched Nikita's shoulder. Nikita shook her head as Michael tried to pull her hands away. Michael dropped his head and dropped the shirt down in front of her.

"Then you do it, Nikita." Michael said gently as he turned his head away, thinking that this was all stemming back to her childhood. Michael waited as he heard the movement and then turned as it stopped. Michael looked down and blinked his eyes as he looked at the image of Nikita. She had pulled the tank top quickly over her body, not makings sure that it went on correctly. One would think that a tank top would be easy to get into, but Nikita had made a sight. Her head was in one arm opening, one arm was hidden underneath the material and the other arm was through the head opening.

"Let me help you." Michael said tenderly as his heart didn't know to cry or to laugh. He reached out for Nikita, but she moved her body away and started to cry loudly.

"What is it, Nikita?" Michael said softly, trying not to compound her problem with his own raised voice. He tried to keep it metered, but that did not help calm her down. Michael tried to gently pull it on correctly, but Nikita was moving around quickly.

"Nikita, you have to tell me what is wrong." Michael said and Nikita cried out even louder, both of their frustration building off of one another. Michael stepped back and took a few deep breaths. Nikita continued to cry, but not the silent crying that she had been doing. They were long and painful cries, screaming out her pain; at least Michael thought so.

"Please, what is it, Nikita?" Michael whispered out as he approached Nikita again and dried at her tears.

"Bad Nikita!" Nikita cried out as she dropped her head. Michael shook his head, not understanding the comment. He looked at her and then into her blue eyes.

"You have done nothing wrong, Nikita." Michael said and her face began to turn bright red in embarrassment. Michael blinked his eyes and stared at Nikita again.

"What?" Michael said and Nikita started to bawl with fierceness that he didn't even understand. Michael felt as if he was on a roller coaster with no safety belts or harnesses. In all the things he had done, he never felt this hopeless and useless to Nikita. Even the time he spent in the White Room, he wasn't helpless and he wasn't being damaging to Nikita. In some odd way, putting Michael in the White Room, kept Operations off of her track and Michael understood that now.

"BAD NIKITA!" Nikita screamed out and Michael looked at her and she started to squirm. Michael shut his eyes.

"Nikita.. Did you go to the bathroom?" Michael questioned and Nikita's head nodded up and down as she pulled a pillow up and covered her face.

"BAD NIKITA!" Nikita screamed into the pillow and Michael closed his eyes as the tears started to form in his eyes. He shook his head as he pulled at the pillow.

"It's ok, Nikita. We can clean it up." Michael whispered and she threw her head from side to side.

"BAD NIKITA!" Nikita screamed out one last time hoarsely and Michael kissed her cheek softly.

"No.. Nikita.. It's fine.. You couldn't help yourself.. You just have to tell me next time, ok?" Michael whispered and he hugged her tightly as his mind was reeling. He was going to have to clean the mess, but now he couldn't. He couldn't let Nikita think this was wrong, he couldn't let her go now.

*

"Hold around my neck, Nikita." Michael directed as he held her tightly, trying to move out of the bathroom. He was aware of her naked state of her body, but there was nothing he could do at the moment, as he only had so many hands. He held Nikita's waist carefully, as the odd cast made it difficult to move Nikita from one place to another.

Michael had sat her down on the toilet and cleaned up the mess on the bed. He had been trying to get Nikita to tell him, but in the three days that had passed, Nikita only once was able to speak up before it was too late. Michael hadn't even been able to leave the apartment long enough to do the laundry, and a couple hours ago, called in to Birkoff, asking that someone just buy him some more bed sheets.

"I got you, Nikita, just hold on." Michael said as he started up the stairs. He looked into her blue eyes as they filled with embarrassed tears again.

"Why don't you just put a diaper on me?" Nikita questioned Michael as he turned and placed her down on the bed. Michael opened the dresser and pulled out a pair of underpants for Nikita and turned towards her.

"Because if you would just tell me, we wouldn't have this problem." Michael softly said as he rubbed Nikita's cheek. He didn't know why Nikita just didn't call out to him. He would do anything for Nikita. He wasn't sure if it was part of her overall stubbornness or something a bit more pathological than that.

Michael got down by her feet and started to pull the underpants over the cast foot and the healthy leg. There were some other things going on in the past three days that he worried about, like the mutilation she seemed to be inflicting her arms with. Yet, it was as Michael started to pull the underwear up that there was a knock on the door. Nikita's eyes burned brightly.

"Hold on a few minutes!" Michael called out as he looked towards the door and then back to Nikita. She was shaking her head something fiercely. Michael struggled as Nikita tried to pull her blanket over her legs.

"Nikita.. Please.. Whoever it is can wait." Michael said and Nikita stopped moving and now, worked against Michael. Michael moved as quickly as he could as he looked over his shoulder at the door again. He sighed, as Nikita would not lift up her body. This was not the first time, and he rolled her to the side in order to position the underwear correctly. Michael then pulled the long T-shirt down and stepped back.

"I'm going to get the door, ok?" Michael questioned but he knew he would not get a response. Michael sighed and moved towards the door.

"Hey." Walter said as he looked in past Michael and held a bag in his hand. Michael stepped back and saw that Steven was behind Walter.

"She isn't doing very well. I don't know how she will take to visitors." Michael commented as he took the bag out of Walter's hands and moved deeper into the apartment. Steven blinked his eyes and closed the door.

"I just want to tell her thank you." Steven said and Michael motioned towards the room. Steven nodded his head as he moved towards the room. Michael lifted his head for a moment and when no louder cries were heard, he dropped to the couch.

"That bad, uh?" Walter asked and Michael closed his eyes and rubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes. Walter could see the stress and the tiredness in Michael's eyes and face. Walter nodded his head and looked around.

"She won't tell me when she needs to go to the bathroom, Walter. It's like watching a little kid." Michael whispered out and Walter nodded his head in shock. He knew that Nikita was having a hard time, but never expected her to be having it that hard.

"Look, Michael... she needs you.. Because when she was coming off of those drugs.. That heroin.. You were the only thing she called for... for hours. She knew then who could save her heart and she knows now. Don't you give up on her!" Walter said and Michael swallowed that news. He didn't know how Nikita got so dependent on him, but then he should have felt honored in some way that Nikita still trusted someone enough.

"I'll try to remember that, Walter." Michael forced out and Walter nodded his head as he leaned in closer. Walter knew that Madeline didn't want all of Section knowing things, but Walter looked at Michael and swallowed.

"We took out the splinter group.... Three days ago." Walter said and Michael nodded his head. It was the first thing that Birkoff had told him about when he called in. Everyone thought it would do Nikita some good if she knew that, but that wasn't the problem now. The problems with the old splinter group and Oversight were only minor problems in comparison. The hell that Nikita was in now, was something that seemed to be stoned in, forted by her own inability to talk it out.

"I can tell her that, and it won't do a thing, Walter. Nothing. I wish it would." Michael whispered out and Walter looked around the room and dropped his head.

"Look.. I found something there.... From her childhood..." Walter said and Michael swallowed and looked at Walter again.

"There were photos, Michael. Personally, I don't know how she lived till now. And if this is all coming back..." Walter said and stopped as his own eyes started to fill with tears. Michael looked at Walter and shook his head.

"Don't say it, Walter. I know." Michael whispered out in a voice that revealed to Walter that the young man's feeling never changed for Nikita. Walter swallowed and looked to the room as someone's cries were getting louder.

"Steven?" Michael called out as he stood up. He looked into the room to see Nikita sitting up, throwing the pillows towards Steven.

"Get out of there!" Michael hissed as he moved to the bedroom. Steven though was frozen. Michael moved into the room as Nikita picked up a dish, that he had been using to towel of her head.

"DUCK!" Michael called out as the dish went hurdling towards Steven's head. Michael pulled him down and felt the water flying over the room and onto their bodies. Michael lifted his head and moved to Nikita's side.

"Shhh.. Nikita.. It's ok.. I'm here.." Michael lightly said as he pulled the cup out of her hand. Nikita looked up at Michael with her blue eyes and reached for him. Michael moved into her arms, suddenly overwhelmed that she had for the first time, reached for him during a state such as this. It was a major hurdle as she held onto him with clenched fists holding the material of his shirt.

"I just wanted to talk to her.. Really..." Steven said out and Michael nodded his head and looked at Walter as he moved into the room.

"Let's go.." Walter tenderly said as he pulled at Steven's arm. He could see that Steven was out of sorts in the room, and Walter didn't want this opportunity to pass for Michael, as Nikita seemed to be living off of his hug now. Michael closed his eyes in appreciate of Walter's movement.

Michael kissed Nikita's face softly and moved his body up into the bed, rocking her for the first time, not thinking of how it was like rocking Adam, but how it was like to hold Nikita.

*

Walter walked behind Steven as they crossed into the park. There was something definitely going on, as Steven continued to turn back and look at Walter, and from the way they came. Walter didn't like the feeling and regretted now listening to Madeline's suggestion that he needed to see Nikita.

Walter stopped as Steven turned back around another time, rubbing his arms nervously and something inside of Walter snapped finally. He approached Steven and turned him around and stared at him. What's going on?" Walter demanded and Steven turned his head away in shame. Walter shook it, not taking that as an answer. Walter pushed him against a nearby fence and stared into Steven's scared eyes.

"Nothing, Walter... I just don't like seeing her that way." Steven said and Walter pulled his hands off of the young man's chest and moved his heavier body closer to him and sighed.

"What happened?" Walter demanded again and Steven looked off to the side and blinked his head as he his moved from side to side.

"I should tell Michael." Steven finally said after what seemed like an eternity of Steven battling the demons in his head.

"No way, Mister! You aren't telling Michael anything until you tell me! He has enough problems to deal with!" Walter demanded and Steven shook his head and started to buckle against the fence. Walter watched the young man collapse back and then down to the ground. Walter rolled his eyes and squatted down to look at Steven's eyes.

"When Nikita had me in that hotel... before we went into Section... things happened." Steven said, trying to sound matter-of-factly. Walter tilted his head and stared again, not knowing what Steven was specifically speaking about at the moment. He wasn't going to let him go with a statement like that. Walter sighed and leaned closer to the boy.

"What things?" Walter said in a deep voice and Steven looked around and then finally up to the sky. Walter looked at Steven, knowing that he had been through a good bit of crap the past few weeks himself, but nothing that comes like Nikita's pain.

Walter groaned with frustration. He was sick of everyone being so damn stubborn that they never let anything into them until it was too late. That was part of Nikita's problem, along with the fact that her mother treated her worse than pond scum. Walter thought of a couple ways he could get rid of the problem in Steven, a couple punches.

Walter looked at Steven and sighed. He thought back to when Madeline admitted that she killed Nikita's mother years ago. Walter knew it was too kind for a woman like that. He wanted one moment with that woman, to destroy her, like he saw Nikita now. Walter's anger just seemed to grow and at times he had to calm himself down before he allowed it to boil over past the point of no return.

"She woke up the one night.. And thought that I was Michael." Steven admitted and Walter swallowed and shook his head. It made sense, since he had seen the same kind of behavior while Nikita was coming off of the heroin. He knew that it scared Elena then, it had to off. He knew that somehow, Nikita with her infectious smile and charm, made Elena think that Michael was just the dutiful and loving cousin. How Elena didn't see the pure and unadulterated love that Nikita had for Michael was even more real that the love she felt she had for Michael was beyond Walter's mind. It was something about Nikita.

"You might as well learn to forget that it happened forever." Walter said as he straightened his body up. Steven looked up at him and trembled with fear. Walter knew a few things, and knew that nothing good would come from Steven going and admitting that.

"Forget it? No.. Michael as to know that Nikita thought I was him.. That she was kissing me like I was him!" Steven cried out and Walter pulled Steven up and pushed him against the fence, knowing that he had to get this message through his head. He would stand there all night if he had too.

"That wasn't Nikita.. And it would only serve to hurt Michael. And if you hurt Michael... you hurt Nikita. I will not allow anyone to hurt Nikita any longer. It isn't fair to that girl." Walter said as he stepped back from Steven. He continued to protest Walter's announcement. Walter looked over his shoulder and pulled a gun out.

"Here... take this gun and kill yourself now if you plan on telling Michael that. Because if you tell him that, you are going to wish that you were dead." Walter said and Steven looked at the gun and then swallowed. He pushed the gun away and Walter nodded his head.

"Look... Michael can handle it.. Ok?" Walter said and Steven blinked his eyes and Walter nodded. He felt the pain too. He only wished that he believed his only words. When he heard what Nikita was doing, he didn't want to admit it, it didn't sound good. It didn't sound good at all.

*

Michael looked up from the book and licked his lips as he looked towards Nikita again. Even with just the small light on for his reading, he could see that Nikita was still awake, staring off to somewhere else. Michael closed the book and rubbed his face.

He held Nikita for two hours after Walter almost literally dragged Steven out of the apartment. He didn't know what had upset Nikita so badly with his presence, but her body wouldn't stop trembling. He was afraid to let her go, and then when he did, he was only rewarded with the ordeal of trying to feed her again. It pained his heart like nothing to see nothing going into her body. It was reading that Michael found himself drowning within, as he could not longer take the pain of watching Nikita waste away into nothing, as if she didn't want to live anymore. All the times that Section had pushed her down, she had battled back, and Michael didn't want to see Section win this time, not when Section was changing.

"Nikita... I am right here.... I'm not leaving.." Michael whispered out as he looked at Nikita's eyes, as the whites of her eyes seemed to be glowing. Michael knew from experience that it was because they were filling with tears again. Michael wanted to hold her again, but pulled that thought away, feeling the need that it was time for Nikita to make an effort.

Michael sat the book down and closed his eyes as he turned off the light. The other nights he had pushed his body in with Nikita, feeling the need to be with her, but he thought now that he had done that out of his need and not Nikita's need. He closed his eyes and could hear Nikita's slight in and out breaths, taking comfort that she still was breathing. He tried not to think about how it might be better if she was dead. He didn't believe that. As long as he had hope, Nikita had a chance.

"Michael." Nikita's whisper broke the night air. Michael's entire body jumped as he snapped the light on and looked at Nikita. He reached out and touched her hand as her head had turned to the side to look at him.

"What is it, Nikita?" Michael questioned and Nikita blinked her eyes as the tears flowed down her face, coating her cheeks with the glittering tears.

"Bathroom." Nikita said as her eyes hit a bull's eye with his. Michael's entire body jumped. He pulled the sheet off of Nikita's body and he looked at her.

"You need to go to the bathroom?" Michael questioned and Nikita nodded her head up and down. Michael rubbed Nikita's head and leaned down for her. Unlike the other times when he had cleaned her up from afterwards or the one time they had made it on time, when Michael had to throw Nikita's arms around his neck, Nikita moved them herself.

"Ok... you have me... Let's move on a count of three.." Michael said with a smile spreading across his face. It was like Nikita had sprouted in Michael's eyes. Two words, and Michael felt all the hope he almost let of, fill his heart again.

"One.. Two.." Michael said as he lifted Nikita up off the bed and held her waist.

"Three..." Nikita softly said along with Michael. He was thrown off by her voice, but continued to move in the direction of the bathroom, not wanting to miss this opportunity to turn things back around.

"Ok.. We have some stairs..." Michael commented as he moved out of the bedroom, in a way that he didn't communicate the other times. The time flashed by as Michael moved to the bathroom and was successful on getting Nikita to the bathroom on time. He stepped out of the bathroom, giving Nikita what little privacy he could give her for a short amount of time.

"Nikita, are you ok in there?" Michael questioned as he pressed his ear against the door. He had three words and he was afraid that it was all that he would get. He waited and then cracked the door lightly. Nikita lifted her head and looked at her underwear that were down by her feet. He could see the embarrassment on her face and he moved down and helped to pull them up for her hands to reach. He watched as Nikita tried and tried, and finally, he leaned her up and finished the task.

"Back to bed now?" Michael questioned as he helped Nikita to wash her hands with a wash cloth. She tilted her head to the side and shook it lightly, indicating no, as her stomach growled.

"Food." Nikita responded and Michael sighed in relief as he reached down and kissed her head. He felt the tears rolling out of his eyes, and he couldn't stop it. They rolled down his face, as he tried to push them away, even as Nikita stared at him, as if they weren't happening. Michael didn't know if Nikita was responding now because she wanted too, or because they were basic human instincts, but it didn't matter. He lifted Nikita's light body up off of the toilet and wrapped his hands around her, and again, as if a conditioned response, Nikita wrapped her arms around Michael's neck.

"What do you want, Nikita?" Michael questioned as he moved into the living room, knowing that with the cast on her leg, the kitchen chairs were impossible to sit her in. Michael sat her down and used some pillows to prop up her leg. Nikita turned her head off to the side and Michael was almost ready to accept that Nikita's words for the day were done.

"Do you want cereal?" Michael questioned and her head shook back and forth. Michael wanted to skip with joy. It was a good response; he had learned years ago, Nikita hated all cereal.

"Noodles?" Michael questioned and Nikita shook her head back and forth again.

"Soup." Nikita responded. Michael nodded his head as he turned around and looked at the ceiling, thanking silently to God.

*

The knock on the door was soft and Michael lifted his head and looked at Nikita, who was curled up on his chest. He lightly brushed back her hair and moved out to answer the door. It had been a week since Nikita spoke her first four words. Although the leaps were not huge and big, they were slow and steady. Michael was just thankful that Nikita stopped soiling the bed.

"Madeline." Michael softly stated as he opened the door and stepped back. Madeline carefully smiled and looked into the apartment. She felt her heart stop as she looked at Nikita sitting on the couch, looking at Michael. In those moments, as Madeline watched her before Michael returned to her side, she looked like and appeared as a child without their security blanket. Madeline closed the door as Michael sat down.

"She is eating." Madeline stated as she could see that evidence in Nikita's face. Michael nodded his head as he brushed the hair out of Nikita's face tenderly. Madeline took a position on a chair facing Michael.

"Not as much as she should, but enough." Michael supplied as Nikita rolled her head down into Michael's chest, hiding her eyes from Madeline. Madeline blinked her eyes at the gesture and turned her head away.

"Walter told me how she was earlier. Kind of like a young child?" Madeline questioned and Michael carefully looked at Madeline with clear eyes.

"Madeline, she may be regressed, but she understands us." Michael commented softly and Madeline blinked her eyes and then dropped her head. She couldn't believe that she had forgotten such a thing, and it was Michael who was reminding her of the fact.

"You are correct, Michael. I should be asking, Nikita." Madeline said and Nikita lifted her head and used her hand to tug at the collar of Michael's tight black shirt. Michael tilted his head down and looked into Nikita's eyes.

"No, Nikita... it's Madeline..." Michael said as he looked into the blue eyes and saw the tears in Nikita's eyes. Nikita continued to tug at the collar and Michael looked at Madeline and dropped his head again.

"I can leave if it is bothering you, Nikita." Madeline offered as she stood up, looking at Nikita as she leaned into Michael's ear. Madeline waited out of fear, frozen in that spot, hearing her heart pound in the hollowness in her ears.

Slowly a smile crossed Michael's face as he shifted and kissed the top of Nikita's head. Michael moved lightly and looked straight at Madeline's face with the same smile.

"Seems as if I was being an impolite host... Nikita wants to have some tea and wondered if you would like some too?" Michael said and Madeline smiled and nodded her head, surprised that those words came out of Michael's mouth. Michael moved to stand up, when Nikita grabbed his arm. Michael tilted his head to the side and sighed.

"Nikita.. You are going to have to ask her yourself that other part. You know I can't do it." Michael sighed as he kissed Nikita's head. Madeline looked at Michael as he moved to the kitchen to turn the water on for some tea. Madeline blinked her eyes and looked at Nikita.

"Hello, Nikita." Madeline said into Nikita's blue eyes, but they only shined back at her, without a blink. Nikita moved to the edge of the couch and seemed to be withdrawing from Madeline's body.

"Michael.. I am making her nervous. I am being counterproductive. I do not want to stop progress. That is the last thing we need." Madeline said as she looked off to the kitchen as Michael pulled down three cups. Michael turned and looked at Madeline. Her eyes connected with Michael, begging for her release until Michael moved his eyes to look at Nikita.

"Stay, Madeline." Michael said and Madeline tensely licked her lips as she turned her head and saw Nikita holding a brush. She looked up at Madeline with her blue eyes and forced out a smile.

"Nikita..." Michael said and Madeline looked to Michael. It was as if Michael was prompting Nikita to speak, so much like the little scared child Madeline saw curled up in Michael's arms, only with a full adult body.

"Brush?" Nikita said as she extended her hand with the brush and looked at Madeline again with her blue eyes with so many unshed tears. Madeline was sure that the words of abuse hadn't spilt yet, but as she looked at Nikita, with her eyes staring at her, Madeline knew one thing. She cared for Nikita. She probably cared more for Nikita than she ever thought she would.

"So Michael doesn't know how to brush your hair.. I'll do it for you, Nikita." Madeline said tenderly as she took the brush out of Nikita's hand and moved to the couch. Nikita skillfully got down on the floor, even with the cast on and leaned her head back. Madeline carefully worked at the knots that were in the golden hair and she smiled as she stroked Nikita's hair back and forth.

"You have beautiful hair." Madeline whispered as Michael moved into the area with the cups of tea. Madeline smiled and took her cup. Michael placed the tray down on the coffee table and then sat down next to Nikita. He raised the cup for her and Madeline watched as Nikita carefully took a sip. Michael smiled and touched her neck.

"Bed." Nikita softly said and Michael nodded his head. He stood up and reached his hands down as Nikita raised her arms up. Madeline watched as Michael moved Nikita carefully into the bedroom.

"Yes.. She is like a child... maybe we'll have a break through." Michael whispered as he moved back to Madeline a few moments ago. Madeline looked over to the bed and swallowed.

"I thought she would think that I was her mother..." Madeline softly admitted and Michael closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I am sure she has that image forever in her mind. She will never mistake someone for her mother." Michael said as Madeline stood up, Nikita was softly crying. Michael moved back to the room and sighed. She does that a lot." Michael admitted and Madeline moved up next to the bed and sighed.

"Didn't you ever sing to Adam when he was a little boy?" Madeline questioned and Michael turned his head away as Madeline sat down on the bed and touched Nikita's hair softly.

"Yes. Yes I did." Michael admitted as he wrapped his hands around his own waist and thought back to Adam. He had held him up in night, singing soft songs, and that didn't even cross his mind in all those days that past.

"A soft song can sooth the soul, Michael.... Even the most troubled." Madeline whispered as she stroked the hair out of Nikita's face and slowly started to use her fingertips to run circles around Nikita's face, wiping the tears away without being noticed.

"When the seas are rolling in, when the stars are shining clear, when the ghosts are howling near, when we sing the Russian lullaby ..." Madeline softly sang out as she stroked Nikita's face, ignoring that fact that Michael was there, as it was just her and Nikita now, a little babe, that needed tended to for a broken heart and soul.

"Let's you and me together leave for higher ground, when you are all alone just listen to the sound..., Lullaby...we fall asleep when we hear..., Lullaby...we fly away when we hear..., Lullaby... we travel far when we hear..., Lullaby... when we hear the Russian lullaby..." Madeline continued as Michael looked at Madeline in a way he never thought she could be looked at. She tenderly sat there, as Nikita's tears stopped and ceased, and still continued, as if also healing Michael's soul in the same process.

"In the night, when the seas are rolling in..., in the night, when the stars are shining clear..., in the night, when the ghosts are howling near..., in the night, when we sing the Russian lullaby..." Madeline tenderly stopped and stood up from the bed and moved out of the room.

"It was a beautiful lullaby Madeline." Michael whispered as he moved to the door with her. Madeline nodded her head as she moved to the opened door.

"My mother use to sing it to me and my sister... I used to remember it in Russian..." Madeline reminisced and Michael blinked his head and Madeline squeezed his arm.

"Good luck, Michael. I think you are heading in the right direction." Madeline said and left.

(** song from HYPERLINK http://home0.inet.tele.dk/gonz/e-type/rlullaby.html** http://home0.inet.tele.dk/gonz/e-type/rlullaby.html** )

*

"No."

Michael lifted his head from the couch and looked into the bedroom. There was nothing but silence and he rubbed his face. Feeling the stress of the days on his body. He was so tired, but he never gave up hope, he never gave up the control. When Madeline left three days ago, he knew that he was the only one that could pull Nikita out of the whirlpool her life had dragged her into.

Michael stood up and pushed his body out towards the kitchen counter, stretching his body out, feeling the wear of being in the apartment for weeks now. He rolled his head off to the side and closed his eyes, feeling the wonderful stretch of muscles that ached for a workout that didn't include carrying Nikita to the bathroom.

"No."

Michael straightened his body and walked to the bedroom, knowing that voice was from Nikita, knowing he didn't imagine it for the second time in a matter of minutes.

"Nikita?" Michael softly questioned and Nikita jumped up in bed. She looked at Michael and licked her lips.

"Hold me, please, Michael." Nikita cried out as she reached her hands out to Michael. Michael moved to her as the sentence rang around his head over and over again, repeating it so that he knew what he heard.

"I won't let you go if you don't want me too." Michael said as he settled down on the bed and wrapped his thick arms around Nikita. She turned into those arms, trembling. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly as the tears ran down her face.

"I want it to end, Michael." Nikita said in a very child like voice, but yet, so much there, as if her mind was finally back in the location it once was. Michael rocked back and forth with her in the bed, with his eyes closed.

"Don't worry, Nikita.. You are safe in my arms.. I'm going to protect you.. No bad stuff." Michael whispered that out over and over again like a mantra of a promise he swore he would never break.

"Do you want to talk about it, Nikita?" Michael whispered out as he stopped shaking and looked at Nikita. She moved her head from side to side and then rested her chin on his chest.

"You will still love me?" Nikita whispered out and Michael felt the tears roll down his face as he leaned down and kissed Nikita's forehead and rubbed her arms.

"I can never stop loving you, Nikita." Michael replied and Nikita closed her eyes and started to cry again. Michael looked at her in fear and bit his lip, hoping he did nothing wrong.

"I was going to have a baby..." Nikita whispered out and Michael closed his eyes. It was from the diary. The message that Madeline had translated for him. Michael felt his entire chest collapse as he held Nikita and her pain.

"I was going to be loved..." Nikita sighed out as she looked up at Michael and then dropped her head, deep into sleep. Michael used a hand to push his head back up, feeling the frustration of what occurred and being so close to a break through, to have exhaustion push her back to sleep.

Michael looked to the ceiling and settled down in bed. He was so comfortable in that bed at that moment, for the first time that he had to sleep in the bed with this Nikita. It was like there was now a light at the end of the tunnel, it was a longer tunnel than he expected. Michael slid down in the bed and rolled Nikita's body against his, feeling the cast rub against his clothed leg and he looked at her.

The tears rolled out of Nikita's eyes and Michael kissed them away. He closed his eyes and swallowed.

"Time to say goodbye... places that I've never seen or experiences with you.. Now I shall... I'll sail with you.. Upon ships across the seas.. Seas that exist no more... I'll revive them with you...I'll go with you.. I'll go with you.." Michael whispered out the words to the song, not allowing himself to sing one word, knowing that the words themselves, spoken softly, might make a difference in Nikita's tortured mind.

Michael closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, a sleep that the both of them needed and that in that sleep, both of them healed and found a way.

*

Madeline sipped at a cup of tea as three operatives moved out of the glass meeting area. Madeline sadly smiled, as the office seemed to be still frightening most operatives. She still felt it a gentle place, to bring her mind back into pieces. She had many things to worry about. In events that she could yet understand George somehow, after all that he did was placed back in his position, over Section One again. That alone, scared Madeline, but it was the continued request for Nikita back that bothered her most.

Madeline dropped her eyes and sipped at the tea, remembering the times that she had seen Nikita recently. She had seen Nikita three times since she sang that lullaby to her, and those visits were on Nikita's request. Madeline couldn't help but notice how much like a little child Nikita was, how much she had regressed, so far back that Madeline was sure no matter how much the love Michael had, it was too late. Madeline wouldn't let onto that though, as she owed Nikita more. She had spared hundreds of lives, and if she doesn't come back, she saved those lives with total disregard to her own life.

"Madeline." Michael's voice drifted out from a back wall. Madeline lifted her head and looked directly at Michael, as he was a sight for sore eyes in Section One. He was badly needed in mission form, but Madeline knew that to take him away now would destroy both.

"Where is Nikita?" Madeline asked, as the two had been attached in the past days. Michael walked over to the glass and looked down by Walter's station. There was Nikita, sitting on a stool, her leg in the cast propped up and her other leg swinging like a little child.

Madeline's mouth opened, as she looked at Nikita playfully pick up some of Walter's things. She was like a curious child, but yet so much more damaged. Michael blinked his eyes as he looked at Nikita from a distance. It had been one of the rare times that Michael had seen Nikita smile, and it was because of Walter. Michael didn't know how Walter could take it, looking at Nikita and treating her exactly like the child her mind had stuck her within. It was doing Nikita some good to smile and Michael looked to Madeline.

"We've approached the subject, but each time we start to talk, she falls asleep." Michael stated as he moved away from the window, not being able to stand the sight down below, knowing that Nikita's mind and soul were trapped within her body. He didn't know how to set her free, and didn't know if he could set her free.

"The abortion." Madeline whispered out and Michael numbly nodded his head up and down as he rubbed his hands together. The wall seemed so far away to Michael and he slowly went to it and leaned against it.

"I do have an idea." Michael admitted in a soft whisper. Madeline lifted her head and looked at Michael. At this point, she was ready to think about any of the ideas. If George walked in today and saw Nikita as such, he would pull his gun out and be done with her.

"I think that I should take her to see her sister." Michael softly said as he turned his head away from Madeline. Madeline turned to Michael and stared at his head and then blinked her eyes.

"We cannot allow that." Madeline finally said after some silence. Michael pushed off of the wall and moved back towards Madeline that tried to sip her tea with her trembling hand.

"We have too. Madeline, I don't think I can reach her any other way." Michael begged out as he pleaded with his eyes. Madeline tilted her head to the side and shook it again, trying not to feel pity for Michael's position.

"You told Karin's husband that Nikita was wanted by the FBI and how do we explain your involvement?" Madeline said and Michael moved to the bench and sat down. He was silent as he looked out towards Walter.

Nikita just dropped something and turned away from Walter, with tears rolling down her face. Michael turned his head slightly and saw that Madeline had seen the scene too.

"We can create a story... but if we don't try.. Why don't you just cancel her now?" Michael said as he stood up quickly. Madeline snapped her hand up and grabbed Michael's arm. Michael looked down as Madeline looked from the window and to the Michael.

"We will work on a story. I hope you are right, Michael. We don't have much time left." Madeline said and Michael nodded his head and slipped his hand away from Madeline's grip. Michael looked down as Walter was trying to comfort the crying Nikita. Michael looked away.

"I better get her before she gets into a temper tantrum." Michael remarked as he moved out of the room.

*

The room was a small hotel room, several towns away from the one that Nikita lived in and the one that Karin lived it. Michael walked into the hotel room and smiled at Karin, as she sat carefully on the couch, rubbing her stomach lightly. Karin looked up at Michael and smiled.

"Where is my sister?" Karin asked and Michael nodded his head and moved closer to Karin. The fact was that Nikita was in the room adjoining this one, and didn't seem as if she knew what was going on. Michael moved to Karin's side and slowly sat down as he took Karin's hand.

"I need to explain to you about what is happening..." Michael softly said and Karin blinked her eyes. When a woman visited her the day before at her new home, claiming that she needed to see her sister, Karin was ready to what was told. Karin knew that Tanner didn't believe the story, and Karin herself didn't believe the story, but it was for the good of her sister. Now, that she saw Michael, she knew that her sister, Nikita was not far away.

"I understand the story I have to believe... That she was a witness to a crime.. And that the FBI agent fell in love with her... But I just want to see her." Karin replied in a begging voice. Michael rubbed Karin's hand and then looked to the wall. They couldn't have told her of the torture that Nikita had been through, but he had to make an attempt to explain it all before he brought Nikita into the room.

"Karin.. Nikita is not well. You know some about regression, right?" Michael questioned and Karin carefully nodded her head up and down. Michael could see the tension in the sister and he didn't want to cause it.

"Well, Nikita has regressed into a little child... because of..." Michael said and then drifted off, not finding the strength to say the words anymore, not wanting to cause pain. His own pain was growing though as he paused, being torn between what the old Nikita would want and what this regressed and pained Nikita needed.

"Of our mother." Karin softly said and Michael nodded his head. He knew that Karin had read the diary and he looked up to Karin and smiled. He stood up and moved to the adjoining door.