"So Mia would be..." James questioned carefully and Operations blinked his eyes and swallowed. It was all too complicated. Here was his brother, that Madeline didn't know anything about. He had come to his brother about eight years ago, suffering from a minor mouth cancer. He helped Operations and never asked any questions, just glad to know that his brother was Missing-In-Action.

"My granddaughter..." Operations answered quickly and James blinked his eyes. He looked around, seeing Nikita disappear and swallowed. That would make Nikita his daughter and Madeline his wife. "It's complicated, James..."

*

Walter picked up the plate of French toast and heading up the stairs. Madeline was still in the hallway, looking in at the sleeping Nikita. Walter placed the food down on the laundry hamper and glanced at his watch. Nikita had been sleeping well over ten hours now. He looked to Madeline and stepped to the doorway.

"Why don't you draw her a bath and I'll wake her up and feed her?" Walter questioned and Madeline looked to Walter. It was a good plan and she slowly nodded her head up and down. Walter slowly returned to gather the food and to take it into the neatly cared for master bedroom.

"Nikita... sugar..." Walter softly called out as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He stroked at Nikita's body as she was sprawled out in the middle of the bed, almost dead to the world. She didn't wake to anything in the past ten hours. Walter wondered if he was going to be heard now. Slowly she moved her head, coming back to the world and the horrid circumstances that she was living in her life. She opened her eyes slowly and then jolted up from the slumber.

"Mia?" Nikita questioned with worry on the word. Walter reached out and touched Nikita's forehead and lightly smiled. He knew that would be the first question out of Nikita's mouth. Yes, Walter was worried, but he knew that some sort of balance was going to have to be created for everyone to survive this. The one doctor spoke that he felt that Mia would walk again, given time and lots of therapy. It was going to be a long time coming and making everyone focus on Mia immediately wasn't the solution. There was Aubrey, there was Michael, and then there was herself.

"She is fine.... Still in the coma." Walter said and Nikita nodded her head. She stretched her long limbs out and arched her back effortlessly. She turned her head as the fragrance of the French toast dance in her nose and made her stomach growl while her mouth watered.

"Madeline is drawing you a bath..." Walter softly stated as he placed the food in front of Nikita. She didn't even lift her eyes as her hands pulled at the silverware, wanting the food now. Walter observed Nikita licking her lips as the syrup crossed her lips.

"I should go in and check on Section this morning before going back." Nikita stated and Walter looked to the window. After a few moments, of watching Nikita's jaw move up and down, eating the food, Walter cleared his throat.

"It's almost evening, Nikita." Walter pointed out and Nikita lifted her head. She looked to the window and then shrugged her shoulders. She was going to go in, Walter saw that fact and stepped out of the room.

The warm water was soothing warmth that took Nikita's body to a place of feeling better. These were moments for herself, she closed her eyes and felt nothing more than the water warming those muscles that hadn't gotten enough sleep in the hospital, laying on the cot and the muscles that had been tense for days now without relief.

The smell of jasmine seemed to lure Nikita into a peace. She was lingering now, wanting to soak in more of the warmth and peace that she found in that tub. It was like she had become afraid of what was on the other side of that door. It could be anything, and Nikita didn't want that. She had a difficult year and now it just seemed to continue. She was almost afraid to walk out of that room, knowing that something else bad was going to occur and shake her world again.

Nikita selected the cloth over the sponge and damped it with the warm and soapy water. Slowly she washed her body, noticing that it had been sometime that she had done this. Nikita dropped her head to the side, feeling a bit more relax that before. She looked around and saw the mirror.

Nikita's hand dropped to her breasts and everything worked on automatic. It had become more than a routine. It was an obsession. Nikita would prod her breast at every bathing, unless she was sharing with Michael. Sometimes, Michael would even help her. In the months since she had return, it was a way to make the disease she had battled against and won, less of a nightmare. Doing something like that with Michael made everything easier to handle.

Nikita was about to lift her hand from the left breast when her two fingers nudged at something. Nikita's face paled as her hands froze at that spot. Slowly she dropped her head to look down at the flesh.

Oh, God... Not now...

Nikita looked to the wall and moved her hand away from the spot and circled in the other direction. Her fingers stopped when the same spot stopped her hand. Something was definitely there.

Oh God... It's back... Not now when Mia needs me!

Nikita dropped the cloth and looked to her hands as if they were being oversensitive. The tears were starting to drip from her face. She didn't want to press her hand against her chest again. She didn't want to feel that spot again. She closed her eyes and prayed for it to be gone. Her hands lifted and it was still there and if anything, seeming to get bigger.

Maybe I should ask Madeline's opinion? No... I can't tell her.

Nikita bit her lip and ordered herself to calm down and to take a few deep breaths. Her fingers nudged it again and Nikita's mouth opened, ready to scream, but then she stopped.

"Nikita? Are you ok in there?" Madeline called out and Nikita looked to the water and sat perfectly still.

Yeah, Madeline... I'm fine... I just found another lump!

There were a few options for Nikita to consider most of them weren't even in the running. Her eyes stared at the water, forgetting to answer Madeline back, more concerned about what was going on and not letting others know.

I have to fight this... Mia needs me....

Nikita stood up and reached for a towel, her face still struck with fear. Before it was fear that her daughter's life would be bad. Now it included the fear that she wouldn't be able to be there for her daughter.

I have to get it checked... but no one can know.... I can't worry them; they need to be here for Mia... I can do this by myself.

The towel was barely around Nikita's body as she stared at the mirror. She was forcing that brave smile on. She had done it so many other times, she had made everyone believe that she was fine with Valentine missions for many years and now she was disappointed. All she had to do was get out of the house and out of the city to get this looked at.

I have to do this.... I can't be weak... I can do this.... I have to do this.. There is no option.

"Nikita, Are you ok in there?" Madeline called out again through the door. Nikita turned and looked at the door. The voice threw her off, almost leading Nikita into tears. One part of Nikita wanted to open the door and tell Madeline what she had found. One part of Nikita wanted to run to Michael and tell him. One part of Nikita, a very strong part, told herself to forget about the lump until Mia woke up.

No, Stupid! You get this taken care of now. Early detection... early survival... This isn't going to go away... it will only get worse. Stupid, just do what needs to be done!

"I'm fine, Madeline." Nikita called out to the door as she looked around and started to dress herself in the sweat suit that was left out for her. Nikita pulled the soft cotton material pants up her legs. She picked up the shirt and left the bra sitting there.

Why the hell does things like this happen??? Why?

"I'm heading back to the hospital soon.... Do you want me to wait?" Madeline questioned through the door. Nikita pulled the shirt hastily over her chest, the breast jiggling a little bit, maybe enjoying the last of their stay on her body.

"No... I have to do some research inside of Section about Mia's injury... and I think that everyone feels I've been in hospital too long." Nikita stated out.

Liar! Liar! Liar!

"Ok." Madeline stated out and Nikita listened to her walk away.

Why don't you just tell her? No... because you have to handle this on your own. Mia is going to need her grandparents and her father during this. Don't make Madeline think of anything else!

Nikita rubbed her hands over her already dry hair. One of the advantages of short hair. She looked at the mirror and swallowed. She prayed that no one would notice that something more was happening. Nikita took a step and walked out of the bathroom.

GO NOW! Don't wait! RUN! RUN! RUN!

Nikita looked down the hallway and stopped. Mia's room was opened. Nikita stepped forward and found Walter sitting there. Her heart poured towards him and she blinked her eyes.

"I didn't mean to bother you about coming in here... I shouldn't have..." Walter said and Nikita shook her head and sat down on the bed. She looked around and looked at the stuffed animal that Walter as holding. Michael had won it for Mia at a carnival when she was just about to become a big sister. She had slept with that stuffed animal since.

"Why don't you take that to the hospital? I think Mia still sleeps with it." Nikita said as she touched Walter's hand.

Does he know? Can he see that something is wrong with me? Please, God... don't let him see... don't let him see.

"I think that is a good idea." Walter said he looked at the animal and then at Nikita. "Are you sure you don't want me to go to Section with you and then take you to the hospital?"

Good... He doesn't know... He doesn't see it.

"Don't worry, Walter... I'm fine." Nikita said and Walter nodded his head. He stood up, with the animal in his hand and walked out of the room. Nikita sat there in the room and dropped her head, the tears forming again.

I'm not fine.

Nikita held onto the blanket that covered Mia's bed. Gone were all the arguments that had occurred and the thoughts of how many men Mia had successfully gotten into her bedroom without Michael threatening to kill them. It was replaced by the image of playfully short sheeting Mia's bed, after she had found a frog and placed it in Michael's and Nikita's bed. Nikita had to wonder what had happened to that tom girl that Mia was for many years.

I'm not fine at all!

Nikita stood up and looked at the mirror. She looked at herself in disgust.

I can't do anything right! I failed my daughter and now the cancer is back.

Nikita stared at the mirror and swallowed her tears, knowing her plan. She was going to find a short mission to any city that had a cancer center. She would get tested, get the results and then came back. She would start her treatments here, and not there, but the testing, the waiting and waiting for results, Nikita was going do to on her own, while everyone else waited for Mia to wake up.

Don't give me directions to hell... I'm already there!

*

The hallways were too clean. The smell of the heavy and strict antibacterial cleaner making the eyes water with every minute spent in the area. The walls were white. Not snow white, not eggshell white: Just white. They seemed to stretch endless in each direction. No end to them and just doors after doors after doors.

It was that way in the ICU unit of the hospital. Stretches of private waiting rooms for the families and close friends, where they could wait for their scheduled time with the family member in the ICU bed. But it made it so much more difficult to walk to the door that would lead to that member.

"Birkoff... Do you want someone else? You don't look comfortable." Mary softly said as she held a hand onto Birkoff's shoulder. He was losing his color and his steps were smaller and more swaying in nature. Had he been walking down the street, one would have taken Birkoff as being drunk.

"No...I just need a break..." Birkoff said as he pulled off to the side of the wall. Mary looked to her hand that Birkoff was holding onto. His knuckles were as white as the walls and he wasn't letting go. Mary felt the pain of the grasp, but knew that Birkoff needed it. She wasn't naïve to the special love that Birkoff had for Mia. It was like he was her old brother, but with the rights of an uncle or something. Section One made it so hard for one to understand relationships and what was between Birkoff and Mia was nothing different.

"What do you think she will look like?" Birkoff questioned Mary, but without turning his head to his wife. He didn't want his wife to see her as he did now. He didn't want to see Mia now. He knew that it sounded wrong, and he would never say that to anyone. He was more than scared. He didn't want to continue to walk down the hallway.

"Remember Michael said that the respirator wasn't needed any longer... and that the brace is on her neck only until she wakes up..." Mary softly said as she repeated the things that she had heard. She didn't have an image in her head of what Mia would look like.

"She has the bruise on her forehead... Nikita told me that," Birkoff identified as he nodded his head up and down. He just wanted to know what he would find. He didn't want surprises. He couldn't handle when he first saw Nikita without her wig on. He almost passed out on the spot and now he didn't know if he could even walk another step.

"Come on... the time for visitors is running out..." Mary slowly stated as she stepped forward and pulled at Birkoff's hand. Birkoff swallowed back the fear and knew that everyone wanted him to see Mia. Everyone felt that Mia would know that he was there. If everyone else had been able to go in and talk to her while her eyes were shut, including Aubrey, Birkoff believed that he had to do so also.

Birkoff took the step forward and looked at the door. There was a security screen there with an intercom. Birkoff looked to the metal door and looked at the posted rules and regulations of the ICU. He blinked his eyes again, shaking his head.

"Do you want me to ring for you?" Mary questioned and Birkoff looked to Mary and almost didn't know who was standing next to him. The world was beginning to spin as he stepped closer and closer to the wall. Mary looked to the side and saw that the first private waiting room was the one that Michael and Nikita were staying in, Michael sitting on the bed, rubbing his eyebrows.

"No.... no..." Birkoff said as he raised his hand. The finger was almost on the buzzer when Birkoff really looked at his hand. He saw the hand shaking like he had never seen before. He had been nervous when he proposed to Mary, but he never, ever shook like this before. Seeing the hand, shaking like it was being electrocuted, made Birkoff drop it and then started to notice the other things that were happening to his body.

The world continued to spin, the door looking further and further away. Birkoff was yelling at himself to go see Mia, that she needed him. His body wouldn't work for him. There was a ringing in his ears and there was pressure in his chest.

"Birkoff?" Mary questioned as he held onto him, seeing the swaying from side to side. She looked at his pale face, with hues of blue crossing the skin. She was panicked now. Birkoff had never done anything like that. She stepped back as Madeline stepped out of the room and looked at Birkoff.

"No... I can't do this... No.. no.. no..." Birkoff started to pant out. He dropped the hand that held onto Mary so tightly during the entire walk to where they stood now. He wiped it over his dripping wet face and then pressed it to his chest, moaning in pain.

"Birkoff... talk to me!" Mary cried out as she looked at Birkoff. She was scared that she was losing her husband right in front of her. He showed all the signs of a heart attack.

"OH GOD BIRKOFF!" Mary screamed out as he started to stumble down to his knees. Madeline stepped forward as Michael bounced up from the bed. Madeline pushed Mary to the side.

"No... No... I'm scared.... I'm scared..." Birkoff cried out, willingly allowing Madeline to support him. Michael moved to the side and looked to Madeline. Birkoff looked to Michael and swallowed.

"I'm sorry, Michael... I just can't.... I just..... it.. I.. just...no. no... I'm sorry... Michael.. I..." Birkoff started to mumbled and Michael closed his eyes. He knew what Birkoff was saying. Mary grabbed at Madeline's arm, almost throwing Birkoff to the ground but Michael held onto him.

"He is having a heart attack, Madeline... DO SOMETHING!" Mary cried out. Madeline turned and placed her hands on her head. She looked at Mary and lowered her head.

"He is having a panic attack..." Madeline correctly identified. Michael turned and moved into the room, placing Birkoff down onto the bed.

"Breath Birkoff...." Michael softly said as he looked at the young man. He dropped his head down, Michael holding it there, making sure that Birkoff calmed down. His world was spinning, only a few word were entering his ears and he had a pounding headache.

"I'm sorry.... I wanted to see her..." Birkoff started to sob after several long moments. Michael looked to Madeline and sat down on the cot next to Birkoff. He rubbed Birkoff's back and swallowed, knowing that this was hard for Birkoff.

"Maybe some other day... Maybe when she wakes up..." Michael softly whispered and Birkoff tried to nod his head. He felt like a disappointment and he dropped his head to his chest with that thought. He knew that Mia was special and he couldn't do the one thing that everyone else had been able to do.

"I just couldn't do it, Michael...I had this image in my head.... It scared me too much..." Birkoff admitted. He hoped that by telling everyone how he was feeling that no one would hate him. He loved Mia too much to let them think that he was just being a coward. He felt disgusted with himself, deep inside calling himself that. A COWARD.

"Birkoff... don't worry about it now.. She is going to need you later...." Madeline softly said as Michael went back to rubbing his eyebrow. Birkoff nodded his head and Madeline moved to Michael. He turned and looked to Birkoff.

"You are a brave man for trying, Birkoff. I thank you," Michael firmly stated out as he extended his hand to Birkoff. Birkoff looked to Michael and connected his upper body to Michael's. Michael reached around Birkoff and rubbed his back. Michael thought that by now that he would have gotten use to this pain, he hadn't. Michael started to cry.

"This should be about your family... Not about how weak I am..... I can try again... I can..." Birkoff said as he quickly pulled away. He stood up and was hit by the wave of pain and nausea again. Birkoff fell back to the bed, sobbing once more.

"Birkoff... if you are having anxiety attacks it is for a reason... Don't push it." Madeline stated out as she looked at the young man. She knew him well. She probably knew things that Birkoff didn't even remember. Yet, it all went to why he couldn't go into that room. Madeline wouldn't reveal any of that to him now, it would only intensify the pain he was having and make things more complicated. Mia didn't need Birkoff now. She would need him later. That was fact, not opinion.

Everyone sat there in that waiting room for several long minutes. Michael looked to his watch and swallowed. He was wondering where Nikita had gone off too. It had been a good eight hours since Madeline arrived back.

"Birkoff... you came from Section?" Michael questioned. Birkoff lifted his head and wiped at his tears. He looked at Michael and blinked his eyes. All of it seemed kind of sudden. Birkoff nodded his head up and down, trying to remember exactly what was going on when he left Section.

"Did you see Nikita at all, Birkoff..." Michael questioned and Birkoff nodded his head. He looked to the wall and tried to remember where she had gone off too.

"She went on the Lowstein mission," Birkoff announced to everyone's gasp. Michael leaned forward, shaking his head. Birkoff closed his eyes and pushed off his glasses. He needed to recall the details.

"Why ? Why would she do that? First she wouldn't leave..." Michael said as he shook his head back and forth. Suddenly, he was the one in the panic, trying to figure out what was going on.

"It went to... ah.. I think... Burlington," Birkoff revealed and Michael stood up and nodded his head. Madeline blinked her eyes, surprised that Michael knew what was going on from what Birkoff had said. She was still lost.

"Madeline... Was Nikita acting differently?" Michael questioned and Madeline tilted her head to the side and swallowed. She didn't like this behavior.

"She pulled herself together, Michael..." Madeline softly stated and then stopped herself. For Nikita to pull herself together now, when everyone accepted that she was falling part was off kilter. Madeline pulled her head back and Michael looked to Birkoff.

"She didn't come back from Burlington, Birkoff. I know." Michael said and he moved to the door. Michael looked around as Birkoff shook his head.

"Why wouldn't she?" Birkoff questioned.

"Lahey Clinic." Michael responded and strode down the hallway. Birkoff looked to Madeline and blinked his eyes. He didn't know what Michael was talking about.

"It's a leading clinic in its specialty... Lahey Breast Cancer Clinic," Madeline softly whispered and dropped her head.

"Oh God..." Birkoff cried out and dropped to the bed. Mary looked around and held Birkoff, not knowing what else to do.

*

Confusion often came with the territory while spending his years with Nikita. Just when Michael believed that he knew her, she would turn around and do something so different from what he had expected. Michael had plenty of time to explore what was going on once he was positive that Nikita had gone to Lahey Clinic instead of the mission. The mission had returned in an hour, with Nikita telling them to go on without her. By phone.

Michael then was held up as computer files suddenly were missing. It wasn't a terrorist group that did that, it was an idiot in the recruitment area that probably didn't know the difference between the space bar and the backspace button. Yet, it held up Michael's trip to be by Nikita's side, knowing that she did truly need him.

Held him up for a day.

Madeline arrived back at Section One, questioning Michael's motives and giving him more to think about. Madeline played everything that Michael knew that Nikita was thinking. Maybe it was starting to get dangerous to think like Nikita. She felt that she had to do this on her own because Mia needed everyone. What Mia really needed, who Mia really needed, was Nikita. And Nikita, needed someone.

It was argued for hours as Michael pounded at the computer, starting the process of changing codes that only he could do, that Madeline should go. Michael ordered Madeline to stay, that he would go for Nikita. Madeline didn't find those orders pleasing and challenged Michael, posing questions of what was he going to do if Nikita had cancer again. Was he going to stay there with Nikita or come back and be with Nikita?

Confusion often came with the territory when dealing with Nikita.

This time, it wasn't caused by Nikita. Nikita's actions were very clear and known. She didn't want anyone to take their focus off of Mia. A mother, giving up her comfort and her support, so her daughter, still in a forced coma, could have everyone that the mother would possibly want. It was the ultimate sacrifice for Nikita to do. Michael wasn't going to allow it to continue.

Mother and daughter were both going to survive. It was that simple.

Michael walked in through the doors, knowing that the clinic was known for having diagnostic procedures all the time, everyday, knowing that woman can't just wait on their hands and worry. Michael looked around the darkened waiting room, and was surprised to see Nikita sleeping on the couch. He moved to the couch and stopped as he looked at her.

She was sleeping with her face down into the cushion. Her blonde hair messed up from the short length. Her hands were above her head, playing gently with the breast cancer ring. Michael swallowed and knelt to the ground. He touched Nikita's shoulders, knowing that she was going to jump.

"Michael!" Nikita said in a soft holler. She looked around the room and found that she was all alone. Not many women were there during the night and Nikita swallowed. She looked at Michael and then to the door. "Why aren't you with Mia?"

"I'm not letting you go through this alone again," Michael affirmed and Nikita started to sit up, crossing her arms across her chest. She looked away, knowing that the tears were flowing without really feeling them. They happened that way anymore.

"How is she?" Nikita questioned and Michael rubbed at Nikita's face, barely noticing the wetness of her tears. They seemed to be constantly plastered there. He couldn't even remember the last time he saw Nikita's face free from the tears. He kissed her lips lightly and placed his hands over Nikita's hands on her knees.

"The question should be, how are you?" Michael quickly assessed and Nikita dropped her head. She tried to shake it and then she stopped. Nikita over the years learned Michael and his behaviors. She learned that this wasn't a question that she could overlook. It was something that she was going to have to address and soon.

And she wanted too.

"I found a lump..." Nikita divulged and Michael closed his eyes. He looked into Nikita's eyes, finding them so painful to look into. He had seen her bad off, especially when she was going to let the cancer win, when they thought that it had spread and then when she found out that a terrorist group had gotten her to exceed her months of chemotherapy by saying she still had cancer. She was bad when Mia was injured, but this look in her eyes, seemed to be the same look that Nikita had when Michael found her on the path to the park, after Mia had slapped her. Like she couldn't do anything.

"I figured that much out.... Has anything been done?" Michael softly inquired as he looked up at Nikita. She allowed her abysmal eyes to connect with his eyes that only showed the unfailing love that Michael had for his wife too short of years. Everything that had happened to him of late was unconscionable, insidious, perverse, treacherous and every other bad adjective that could be found. Nothing quite exactly identified what was happening to Nikita and Michael and their family. No one word was disgusting and vile enough to speak to the personal horror both were amidst.

"They did the mammogram... and immediately did a fine needle aspiration... They thought it was just a cyst until the aspiration..." Nikita informed Michael as she almost broke down into tears and screams totally. She almost abandoned words.

"Why did their opinion change?" Michael queried and Nikita looked to the dark walls. She closed her eyes, remembering everything that had happened to her in the past twenty-four hours, how she was moved from room to room and then finally placed in the waiting room, told to come back in a day. She couldn't leave, she just sat there, waiting to get the results. There were no free beds in the clinic, Nikita not being the only woman traveling to come to Lahey Clinic.

"They withdrew the liquid.. which still makes it classified as a cyst for now... but there was some blood and it didn't look like it should have... They are looking for cancer, of course." Nikita said and Michael reached up for Nikita. He wrapped his arms around Nikita firmly and held her. His eyes staring at the back of the couch that she had been laying on when he had arrived.

"Was it this way for you the first time?" Michael softly questioned. The husband and wife never spoke about when Nikita found the cancer the first time. It was known, but not spoken about. Nikita shook her head from side to side.

"No... everything took forever.. it was well over a week until I knew... That's why I came here..." Nikita softly said and Michael nodded his head. He held Nikita tightly and then she pulled at his body. She wanted him to sit next to her. Michael shifted off of his knees and sat down next to Nikita.

"What do you think?" Michael questioned as he looked into her eyes. He was the fright there and she shrugged her shoulders. Nikita pressed her drawn lips even tighter together, not wanting to speak what she felt. It changed with every passing minute. One minute, Nikita would be sure that it was just a cyst, another minute she was sure that she saw the gates of hell opening and admitting her back into the world of chemotherapy.

"Do you think I can do chemotherapy and still be there for Mia?" Nikita questioned and Michael nodded his head. He knew that he would make it happen. He stroked Nikita's hair back and she pulled at his hands. She pulled them out of her hair and back to the lap. She no longer wanted to remember or see the proud hair that she had gained back. She no longer wanted to wear her ring any longer.

"Nikita... I'm going to get you and Mia through all of this... I haven't had you long enough... Either of you.. I'm not giving up," Michael issued with the confident words that broke a optimistic smile across Nikita's kindred face. With no more tears gracing the surface of the face.

Slowly the husband and wife, the mother and father, slid down into the couch, holding onto one another, knowing that time was the only thing that was keeping them there. The time for the tests to be finished. The time for the papers to be filled out. The time for the results to be negative or positive.

The door opened and two woman walked in. One with a very baldhead. Nikita dropped her eyes and pressed her face into Michael's sleeve of his jacket. He looked to Nikita and kissed the top of her head. It gave her comfort, her husband holding her.

Nikita moved her hands and the woman must have saw the glint of the ring. They dropped their heads. Nothing was ever certain with cancer. It may remiss, it may come back. Everyone in that waiting room knew that. They looked at Nikita, both women being in their first battle, and shut their eyes. They had seen her yesterday when they had left. It was clear that she had stayed the night. The nurses talked about her, amazed that she had so much chemotherapy but didn't have any surgery. No one knew if that was dumb or brave.

"I can't take this waiting.. it reminds me of waiting to see Mia..." Nikita whispered out, but the words were vibrating back and forth in the room, making everything difficult to talk about. Michael looked to the woman and kissed behind Nikita's ear again.

"I think you are a bit more calm now..." Michael whispered and Nikita nodded her head and placed a hand to her chest. Michael tilted his head to the side and looked to her pressed hand. Nikita emphasized it more by pressing the hand flat against her chest.

"Not here.... It feels the same as when we were in that emergency room.. seeing if Mia was going to live or die Michael.... I thought I wouldn't be as scared as when my daughter's life was in jeopardy... but this is the same... because she needs me," Nikita declared with very lachrymose words.

"Nikita Samuelle?" A nurse called out from a door that had opened next to the registering window. Nikita stood up and grabbed for Michael's hand. She was ready to walk into the hallway behind the doorway, ready to find out which cancer had one this time.

"No need, dear... Go back to daughter... It's a cyst.. No cancer." The nurse reported and Nikita stopped in her tracks and Michael wrapped his arms around Nikita's waist. He allowed a whoop of joy out as he picked her up into the air. He turned Nikita around so that her face could meet his. Their lips pressed together as they both cried with happiness, and event that last happened when they made love together.

The past week had made them miss so much. Thanksgiving came and went without even a nod of their heads. Day after day was spent in that waiting room, waiting for those precious five minutes they were allowed and then the precious three minutes here and there that the nurses in the ICU granted them with pity.

The past week had been about Mia. Nothing else. Yes, the family was there to support and yes, Mia needed them. But all was forgotten until these past few hours, where priorities couldn't have handled the situation. Michael had followed his heart and he knew his decision was correct. He could only hope that this was the beginning of good things for his family.

The heartbreak had to end soon.

Michael was sure he couldn't handle much more, and neither could Nikita.

*

Michael strolled down the hallway with his hand around Nikita's waist. It was the first time that they had been together since the accident with Mia that they weren't with someone else. The entire plane trip home, Michael held Nikita's hand, playing with the breast cancer ring. It felt good to hold her hand because he wanted too. Even as they strode down the hallway of the hospital, only about 100 feet away from being back into the horrid world of waiting for Mia to wake up, they were like to different people.

There had been tiny kisses in public, something that Michael rarely did. He didn't care now, knowing that Nikita had needed them. Their coats rustled against one another as suddenly the waiting room came in view. Nikita's eyes moved from body to body, noticing them all standing up and Dr. James LaGouche standing there.

"Paul.. she is going to wake up in the next half hour, with or without her parents being here," James firmly said out to his brother. Madeline had spent the past day learning about the entire twisted affair. The man that made all operatives depart from the world of the living to be inside of Section One, didn't listen to one of his own rules. It didn't surprise him, Madeline didn't even have to fully listen to those rules, either in the time of their power over Section One. Yet, this was dangerous, Operations continuing to give lies to his brother to protect him, but lies that might blow up on Operations' face.

One interesting fact that surfaced was the fact of Operations' own battle with cancer. Madeline was shocked to hear about it, and at first, thought that it gave all the answers to why Operations had suddenly cared about Nikita. He had stopped those thoughts when his brother was being called into the ICU about an update about Mia's condition to give to the family. Operations firmly told Madeline that his life was truly never in danger, but he truly felt for Nikita, for reasons he couldn't explain. It was part of the reasoning why he continued to allow James believe that Nikita was his daughter.

"I have tried to call, Michael... There was an emergency," Operations finally said and James turned his head. He had been concerned about Nikita's health and suddenly with Operations' words he almost knew exactly what was going on. He didn't want to verbalize his worries before this, but now it seemed as if it happened.

"If there was an emergency dealing either one... why did they leave this hospital?" James questioned back and Madeline shook her head. This discussion was getting neither man the information they wanted or the outcome that was needed. Madeline stepped between the two men and glared at Operations. Operations leaned back on his heals, conceding the argument over because of Madeline's presence. Of course, Walter, Norma, and Birkoff were watching all of this unfold. Operations was officially in command of Section One until Michael could assume power again, but right now, it appeared as if no one was running Section One. Some operatives were getting an unexpected vacation.

"Why don't you ask them that question and then tell them the good news?" Walter snapped as he looked out in the hallway, watching Michael and Nikita staring that the room. Michael looked to Nikita and kissed her forehead. She stepped forward with confidence and Walter felt his chest loosen. He was sure that whatever reason Nikita had for leaving, didn't yield bad news.

Nikita slowly walked into the room, feeling the eyes of everyone on her. She didn't want to announce to the whole room what had happened. She looked in the eyes of Norma and she dropped her head. Nikita turned and placed a hand on Madeline's shoulder. Madeline softly turned to face Nikita and then moved to the wall. She knew when Nikita wanted to keep some things secret. It was a part of Nikita that Madeline found quite charming, but also very dangerous.

"I just wanted you to know.. .that I had found a lump... but it was just a cyst..." Nikita softly whispered into Madeline's ear. Nikita's hand was still firmly held by Michael as he looked at Walter and lightly nodded his head that everything was ok with Nikita. Walter turned and slapped Birkoff on the back, showing the young man that he needed not worry any further.

Madeline smiled at Nikita, so happy to hear those words. When Michael identified the Lahey Clinic, Madeline was almost certain that it would only give the family that had already suffered so great, more heartache and torment. She hugged Nikita firmly and that gesture alone, put all the Nikita worries to the side, especially those worries about her health.

"Ok.. now that you are back.. Do you want to go see your daughter?" James questioned and Nikita nodded her head and Michael wrapped his arms around Nikita's neck. The gesture was extremely loving and James looked to Madeline.

"There might be a surprise for them.... If they get there in time..." James softly started out and Nikita turned her head to look at Michael. He hadn't turned his head to view his wife, he was still staring at James, wishing for the games to be over with. Michael just wanted the bare and naked facts about what is going on.

"They think she may wake up soon...." Madeline explained and Nikita was halfway out the door, her hand trailing behind her, pulling Michael with her. James looked to Madeline and then rest of the room. He rubbed his hands together and reached for Birkoff.

"OK.. I can get you into the room with Michael and Nikita.. but everyone else is going to have to observe behind the glass... and I'm only going to do this because I like all of you..." James said as he started out of the room before Birkoff could even worry.

Nikita pulled her T-shirt up over her mouth as she entered the room, looking at Mia. Someone had washed her hair again and brushed it out. It looked so much like Nikita's had. Nikita blinked her tears back, realizing how lucky they all were. Gone were the feelings of feeling sorry for her family, she suddenly realized the blessings that they all had. They had each other.

Michael helped steady Nikita towards the bed. There was a nurse and a doctor standing by. They both watched the monitors as Nikita dropped her shirt from over her mouth. She slowly studied her daughter and smiled gently. The bruising was starting to fade, finally.

"Mia... We're here... It's time to wake up..." Nikita gently said in a voice that Michael remembered from years ago. It was the same voice that she would use to read Aubrey his Cat in the Hat books. He rubbed Nikita's shoulders and moved to the side a bit of Nikita, leaning over to view his daughter, much like Nikita had.

"Mia... We love you..." Michael softly whispered as he looked at his daughter. With the hand that wasn't holding Nikita's, he reached out and stroked her check, much like the way he soothed Nikita. Michael knew that mother and daughter were so much alike that possibly Mia would respond to the same kind of touch that Nikita had.

The doctor shook his head and smiled at Michael and Nikita. They knew that he was only telling them that it was a matter of time. Nikita looked over her shoulder and saw the brave Birkoff. Michael had filled Nikita in of how Birkoff had the panic attack on the plane trip back. Nikita was concerned for Birkoff, remembering how he had acted when he had first seen Nikita without her wig on. Still now, Nikita knew that it was painful for Birkoff to look at her as he once had.

"Mia... Someone else has been brave to come see you... Birkoff is here..." Nikita said as she reached out for Birkoff's hand. Birkoff slowly stepped forward, being placed between Michael and Nikita. He touched the railing and almost fled the room as he saw Mia for the first time so closely. To Birkoff, she looked like she was laid out in a coffin. There wasn't much difference in Birkoff's mind.

"Mia..." Birkoff softly spoke and then stepped back. He didn't leave the room as Nikita looked to Birkoff. She knew that it was hard on the man. She had been able to see her daughter, but it was upon leaving the room, every single time, that she had problems with dealing with what had happened. Almost every single time Nikita left Mia's side, someone, usually Michael, ended up half carrying her back to the waiting room.

Nikita turned back to Mia, realizing that Birkoff was not going to leave the room. He was just giving room for the parents of the young girl to stand by the side of her bed. Michael reached out and adjusted the blanket, just doing something to pass the time.

"I know I haven't been here in a while, Mia... I just wanted you to know... That everything is fine... and everyone is just waiting for you to wake up, my little darling..." Nikita softly spoke and Michael turned and studied Nikita's eyes. She was always so truthful in this room. Yes, she couldn't tell Mia about the scare, it would frighten here, but Nikita could admit that she hadn't been there for a few days.

"Well.. Mia... Are you going to wake up for us? Say hello to all the people who can't wait to get you into a normal room so they can send you flowers and balloons?" Michael softly added. He briefly looked over his shoulder, seeing all of the people that mattered watching in from the glass window. Michael snapped his head around when Nikita squeezed it tightly.

Mia was fluttering her eyes. The doctor moved and noted the time on her chart. Nikita reached out and touched the little dimple right underneath her chin. Nikita smiled as she saw the white's of her daughters eyes finally looking at them.

"Mia..." Nikita happily said as the tears threatened to flow again. They would be tears of happiness now, but Nikita didn't want them to fall. She just wanted to look at her daughter with eyes that weren't blurred with tears. Michael rubbed Nikita's shoulders and smiled at his daughter.

"Welcome back..." Michael softly said as he touched Mia's arm. She blinked her eyes, confused about what was going on. No one could blame her.

"Did I miss Thanksgiving?" Mia questioned out and Michael lightly chuckled as Birkoff stepped forward, peeking over Nikita's far shoulder. He smiled and rubbed Nikita's back happily as he saw Mia staring at her parents.

"Yes." Nikita finally stated and Mia nodded her head.

"But you didn't miss Christmas!" Birkoff piped in and Mia pulled out a weak smile, but it was definitely a smile. She looked to her mother and licked her lips.

"I was coming to see you..." Mia started to explain and Nikita took her hand. Mia squeezed it quickly back and now the tears rolled down Nikita's cheek. The doctor happily noted the movement, knowing that at least the spinal damage didn't include Mia's arms.

"It doesn't matter now, Mia." Nikita commented firmly and Mia closed her eyes. Michael rubbed her hair off of her face and smiled again.

"You really scared us... I'm glad that you are going to be ok..." Michael said and the doctor cleared his throat. He looked at Michael and Nikita and started some routine tests. Mia stared at her parents as he pulled the sheets off of her feet. Nikita rubbed Mia's feet, not wanting to watch the tests.

"OUCH!" Mia exclaimed and the doctor patted her feet and pulled the blanket over them. Birkoff had moved closer to the bed, talking to Mia as Michael moved with Nikita towards the doctor.

"We're going to move her out of ICU momentarily... She is very lucky... Although there is a long recovery in front of her and it will probably take her several months to possibly over a years... She will recover enough to walk again." The doctor revealed and Nikita nodded her head up and down and then threw her arms around the doctor. He smiled at Michael and moved Michael's wife to his body, knowing that the wife should be hugging her husband.

"You, young lady... have an amazing family." The doctor addressed Mia as he moved to the bed and placed a hand on the nurse's arm. Mia smiled weakly and looked at her mother and father rejoicing in the news. Her face dropped to sadness.

Had she caused that much worry?

*

"Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum...A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum...Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum...To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,...rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,..." Aubrey happily sang out as he walked in from the kitchen. He had just come home from shopping with his friend's family, having bought something for his entire family. He continued to walk, singing until he saw his mother.

"Aubrey... Please no more singing..." Nikita said as she held her head and hobbled into the kitchen. She reached in for a bag of peas as she chucked her shoe off. Aubrey looked at his book bag, glad that his Christmas gifts were stashed in there.

"But Mom.. It's Christmas... I can't help it if you haven't decorated at all!" Aubrey said firmly back to his mother. He didn't want to be angry with her, she appeared to be hurt as she moved to the kitchen table to place her ankle up on the table and then molded the peas over her ankle.

"The only decorating I have been doing is redoing that den, Aubrey. In less than a week Mia comes home!" Nikita shouted and then dropped her head. She didn't want to yell at Aubrey, but she couldn't stop herself. The holiday that Nikita had always loved the most was becoming a nightmare. The doctors wouldn't release Mia after Christmas and therefore, Nikita felt that it was useless to do anything around the house since they would be spending Christmas in Mia's hospital room.

For the past three days, other than spending a good ten hours a day in the hospital with Mia, even if it was just to watch Mia in therapy, Nikita spent on creating a room downstairs for Mia. Mia was going to be in a wheelchair for sometime to come. She may never be able to walk up stairs if she starts walking again.

"What did you do, Mom?" Aubrey questioned as he placed his book bag down, carefully placing it down, not chucking it to the side loudly. Nikita smirked and shook her head.

"I walked into the room and slammed my ankle right into the wheel of the hospital bed." Nikita stated and Aubrey slightly laughed. Yesterday his father had done the same thing and Nikita laughed at him loudly until he tackled her. It was the first time in a long while that he had seen his parents truly happy.

Aubrey looked at his mother and swallowed. He didn't want to tell her that he really wanted a Christmas around here. He had about a week ago, try to put some Christmas lights up on the porch, which Nikita immediately pulled down.

"Where is Dad?" Aubrey questioned as he looked around. Nikita looked to her hands and swallowed. Michael was taking extremely long. He had pulled the keys to the new van as soon as Nikita snapped the tape of Christmas music off. Michael stormed out, claiming that he was going to get use to the new van.

The new van. Call it a Christmas gift from Madeline and Operations. The thing was huge, an ugly fortress. It had the wheelchair ramp in it. It arrived yesterday and Michael immediately started to learn the ins and outs of it. Nikita stood there on the porch, on the new wheelchair ramp and stared. She couldn't go into it. She watched from afar as Michael worked the ramp up and down, like a little kid discovering the joys of a swing set or a jungle gym.

"Test driving the van again." Nikita commented shortly out and Aubrey stood up. He looked at his mother and wrapped his arms around Nikita snuggly. Nikita closed her eyes, feeling the tears right there. She never seemed to get rid of them and now her son just loved her.

"I love you, Mom." Aubrey softly said and Nikita turned around and kissed her young son's face. He smiled and touched her tears.

"If you continue to cry like that mom, I'm going to let you water the garden in the summer!" Aubrey joked out and Nikita laughed. Aubrey sat back down in the chair and took his mother's hand. He didn't like seeing her so sad.

"You know... how for years you said all that you wanted for Christmas was a white Christmas?" Aubrey questioned and Nikita nodded her head. She had said that, and it hadn't happened yet.

"It is suppose to snow tomorrow night." Aubrey said, as the front door slammed open.

"Nikita..." Michael called out and Nikita lifted her head. She smiled at her son as he stood up and looked down the hallway. He ran out of the kitchen and Nikita shook her head. Sometimes she never understood that boy.

"In here..." Nikita called out as she pulled the peas off of her ankle. She didn't want her husband finding out how clumsy she had been. She had put the entire room together, because Michael was doing duty back in Section One. She didn't want Michael making fun of her that she had to get hurt by just putting Mia's stuffed animals in the net above the bed.

"MOM!" Mia cried out and Nikita leaned back in the chair and almost fell backwards. She couldn't move her feet quick enough. Her daughter was in the house, the tears were running down Nikita's face as she hobbled down the hallway and looked at her daughter. Nikita leaned down and hugged her as Michael stood off in the side.

"I thought you couldn't get released until next week.... I don't..." Nikita started to say and Michael pressed a hand to Nikita's shoulder. Mia smiled at her mother and looked around the house. She never knew that she would miss it that much.

"Having a nurse living inside the house does great in getting your daughter released for Christmas..." Michael whispered and Nikita stepped back and looked around. She was so happy, her mind now making plans for Christmas.

"Where are the decorations?" Mia questioned and Nikita gasped and Michael wrapped an arm around Nikita's shoulders. He saw that Nikita instantly believed that she had failed her daughter again. He had to get Nikita to stop feeling that way. It was unhealthy for everyone.

"Well... I made your mother wait for me to decorate.. And since I knew that you were coming home... I made sure to wait so you can help," Michael said and Mia nodded her head. Aubrey went to her side and started to push at the wheelchair towards the kitchen. Mia had some strength in her arms, but not a lot to propel herself in the wheelchair yet.

"Walter is bringing the tree in..." Michael whispered into Nikita's ear and she looked at Michael in shock. She looked at him and he softly kissed her nose.

"Merry Christmas." Michael whispered as Mia happily laughed from her makeshift room. Aubrey was showing Mia the handy work their mother had done, not noticing that the parents still stood in the hallway.

"Oh Michael..." Nikita whispered out as Michael was losing the battle of Nikita's tears. He rubbed her shoulder and kissed her nose again.

"I knew that this was the best Christmas gift I could give you... Your daughter is home.. She is back." Michael said as the door swung open with a gust of cold air.

"HO HO HO!" Walter shouted out as he dragged the long needled North Carolina White Pine into the house. Nikita laughed at the Santa Hat on his head as he continued into the living room. Walter placed the tree down and looked around.

"Why are you all standing there? Where is the tree stand?" Walter questioned loudly. Nikita looked to Michael and laughed. Aubrey, becoming for the moment an official wheelchair pusher, pushed Mia into the room. She smiled at her uncle as Aubrey turned and smiled at his father.

"I'll go get the tree stand.... And Dad... I'm glad your plan worked," Aubrey said as he turned and left the room quickly. Nikita listened to her son run down the stairs as she turned and looked at Michael. He shrugged his shoulders and kissed Nikita again.

"Merry Christmas, my love." Michael softly whispered as Walter shook his head, purely for the entertainment of Mia.

*

The lights cast colors all over the living room that brought a smile to Michael's face, although his heart was being tugged on. He stepped down the last two stairs and held onto the banister as he looked to the couch that his wife was sprawled out on. It was the first Christmas that the entire family was home, that Michael hadn't been able to turn to his side and kiss Nikita gently before the children started the dash down the stairs to the gifts below. It was the first Christmas that someone was still in the living room from the night before, with wrapping paper crossing the floor and presents spilling from underneath the tree in a way that Michael never had seen.

Michael knew that the year that they first had Aubrey, their little forced family brought their gifts over and placed them underneath the tree, and it sort of looked like it did on this Christmas. Yet, this was with those gifts missing and Michael knowing that the majority of the gifts that were there were from Nikita to Mia. Michael heavily sighed as he heard the footfalls on the porch. He was glad that during her slumber, Nikita had found the blanket and Michael stopped. He didn't know how much sleep Nikita had gotten over the night.

The door opened and Michael smiled at the white snow that had fallen overnight. He was sure that Nikita would be pleased as Madeline and Walter walked in with their own little bags of gifts. Madeline turned and stopped herself from going into the living room. She looked at Nikita and then noticed the gifts underneath the tree. There were small boxes and big boxes. Madeline looked to Michael and he waited for Walter to turn and closed the door.

"I don't know how to explain..." Michael softly whispered as he turned and walked towards the kitchen, hoping to allow Nikita a few more minutes of sleep since it appeared as if the rest of the house was still asleep. Michael made sure that Mia's door was closed before he turned the light on in the kitchen and started to make the coffee.

"Has she gotten any sleep other than now?" Madeline questioned as she pulled her scarf off of her face. Michael rubbed his palms over his face and sighed. He sat down at the table and stared at the door to his daughter's room. She had been home for two nights and although Norma said she would help out, Nikita wouldn't allow it. The first night, Mia couldn't sleep and had Nikita up almost the entire night. Then Nikita went out on her massive shopping spree. When she came back, Nikita tended to Mia like she was personally responsible for everything, making everyone to allow Nikita to attend to Mia by herself. Mia couldn't do much herself. She couldn't go to the bathroom by herself, she couldn't get into bed, she couldn't reach most items, and she sometimes didn't even have the strength to feed herself. Last night, Mia did fall asleep, but then Nikita had to stay up to wrap all of the gifts she had bought.

"She think she is superwoman, Madeline..." Michael softly stated out as he looked at Walter. He was shifting from foot to foot. Michael looked at Madeline and she shook her head, indicating that she didn't know what was going on.

"Have you seen Norma?" Walter questioned and Michael sighed. Now that was the woman benefiting from Nikita's overprotective and overcompensating behavior.

"Yes, she was just getting dressed and going to wake up Aubrey," Michael revealed and Walter nodded his head. Michael stood up and poured himself the cup of coffee and then poured one for Nikita. Madeline stood up and took Michael's arm.

"I have Paul's gifts for the children... He went to spend Christmas with his brother," Madeline revealed and Michael smiled and nodded his head. Although Mia would probably be upset that he wasn't there, it was for the best. Michael was heading out of the kitchen when Walter walked in.

"Did Sugar get the turkey in yet?" Walter questioned and Michael shook his head. Walter then started to pull his coat off and pulled open the refrigerator. Michael looked at the clock and blinked his eyes. It was later than he thought. Michael turned and looked at Walter. He may just have saved Christmas.

"Madeline... can you wake, Mia? She doesn't like my help when she is in her nightgown," Michael questioned and informed Madeline. Madeline nodded her head and moved to the door. She was shocked by the words, but then Madeline didn't care. She would rather Michael deal with waking the sprawled out Nikita in the living room than herself.

Michael moved to the living room and placed the cups of coffee on the coffee table. He was hoping that the aroma would wake Nikita up. She had switched from tea during Mia's injury in the hospital and there had been no turning back for Nikita. She probably now drank more of the black liquid than Michael did, and she drank hers straight, black, Michael used sugar and cream.

Michael looked to Nikita's hair and found some ribbon twisted into the golden strands. Her hair was growing in so quickly. Michael pulled the ribbon carefully out and noticed that she hadn't even stirred. Michael knew that she had to be exhausted. Michael then carefully gathered the left over wrapping paper up and pushed off into a disorganized heap in the corner. She had wrapped everything, and the last gift was underneath her slumbering body, the self-adhesive tag sticking to her finger still. Michael pulled the tag and the gift, seeing that it was most likely a CD, and placed it underneath the tree.

"Nikita...." Michael softly whispered as he looked at Aubrey and Norma walking down the stairs. He saw Aubrey's eyes bugging out at the sight of the gifts and Michael pressed his lips together. He hoped that Nikita had gotten more for Aubrey than he had seen. Michael nodded to the kitchen and the two people moved. He didn't want the entire family staring at Nikita when she finally woke up.

"Nikita..." Michael softly whispered again, rubbing his hands across her back, lightly shaking her. Nikita's legs kicked and the blanket fell off of her legs, revealing that she was still in the red and green sweat suit that was her traditional Christmas Eve outfit.

"Nikita... time to wake up..." Michael said as he lifted at Nikita's body. He slid onto the couch and placed Nikita's head on his lap. He rubbed at her forehead; softly smiling at the smile that had spread across Nikita's face. It tugged happily at Michael's heart, and he forgot about the possibilities of this day turning into something that was less than joyous. He looked to the tree and swallowed.

"Nikita..." Michael said a bit louder now, knowing that holding off much longer was just torture on everyone else that was in the kitchen waiting for the ok to enter the Christmas Room. Michael looked at Nikita as her eyes were staring at him. "Merry Christmas, Nikita."

"Merry... Oh my God.. THE TURKEY!" Nikita screamed as her eyes turned and saw the clock. She tried to jump, but her feet hadn't come all the way out from the blanket. Michael held onto her and pulled at the blanket.

"Walter took care of it, Nikita..." Michael softly said and Nikita instantly slumped. She looked to Michael and he saw her tears glistening with the multi-colors of the Christmas lights from the tree. He reached for them and Nikita sighed heavily. She was showing how tired she was.

"But it is my turkey! I'm suppose to cook it." Nikita protested out, but not with strong enough passion. Her tiredness was winning and Michael reached for Nikita and pressed her down to his body. He rubbed her arms, but saw that she wasn't going to feel any better about this turkey.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Mia happily called out as Madeline pushed her into the living room. Mia smiled at her parents, so happy seeing them together. She looked to the tree and Mia's eyes bulged at the sight. She knew that it was too much. Aubrey walked in with a cup of hot chocolate and smiled at his mother.

"Did you know that it snowed over night, Mom? You got your white Christmas." Aubrey commented and Nikita nodded her head, as there was a slight cry of joy from the kitchen. Nikita turned her head to look to the hallway and pressed her lips together.

"Maybe I should see if they are having problems with the turkey?" Nikita said as she tried to push off of the couch. Michael held onto Nikita, sensing that everything was fine in the kitchen. Michael looked at Nikita slump against the couch and frowned. Nikita was taking it very personally.

"Everyone.... I have an announcement..." Walter happily said as he led Norma into the living room with tears on her face. She smiled as Madeline helped to move the wheelchair around so that Mia could look at Walter and Norma. Michael smiled happily, knowing exactly what was going on.

"I just asked Norma to marry me... and she said yes!" Walter happily boasted and Norma held her hand out for everyone to see. It was a huge diamond to say the least. Everyone gasped at the sight and Michael grinned.

"I knew that she would finally make you a proper man, Walter," Michael commented and Walter turned and smiled at Michael. Michael watched as his eyes brushed over Nikita and then pulled away. Michael looked to Nikita and saw her frozen face with tears running down her face. Michael felt stuck. He didn't know what to do or why this was upsetting Nikita. Michael watched as the happy couple moved deeper into the room, closer to the true. Walter had traditionally handed out the presents with Nikita when all together and now that seemed to change. Walter helped Norma down to the ground and kissed her neck tenderly as he lifted up a box and turned to Mia and handed it to her.

"Mmmm... it's flat and is the size of a CD... I wonder what it is?" Walter joked with Mia and she smiled at Walter. She looked at the tag and looked over at her mother. She wasn't even watching. Mia's smiled dropped as she forced herself to open the package. What was the use of getting something from her mother when she wasn't even watching?

Walter was deep into the presents, finding it hard to find the ones for anyone else but Mia. Michael watched the young boy continue to smile, truly happy for his sister, but showing the stinging hurt of not being as well endowed as Mia was with Christmas gifts. Nikita shifted her feet and stood up.

"I'm going to check the turkey," Nikita whispered as she left the room. Michael blinked his eyes and swallowed. Never ever, as Nikita left during the children opening their gifts. Michael shifted on the couch and swallowed. He looked to Madeline as she shook her head that he shouldn't go after Nikita. Michael instead reached for Aubrey, seeing the tears about to form.

"You know that this isn't about love... right Aubrey?" Michael started to question. He felt Aubrey's hurt and swallowed. He wanted to curse Nikita's overcompensation. Nikita had to stop feeling guilty sooner or later. "This is just your mother feeling guilty for buying that car for Mia... You understand?"

"Aubrey.. She loves you just as much." Michael said, as he was almost sure that Aubrey was hearing him. He wrapped his arms around his father and hugged him. Michael swallowed and held Aubrey until Walter laughed.

"This would be for Aubrey.... Mmmm.. It's a big box." Walter said as he pulled the box out. Michael shifted his head to the side, not remembering anything that size. Aubrey suddenly didn't look so upset and Michael crossed his fingers. Michael himself whistled as Aubrey pulled the wrapping paper off to expose the state of the art computer that he had been staring at for months. Michael looked at Madeline as she raised her eyebrow.

"Are you going to have any money left?" Madeline joked and Michael swallowed. He knew now that Nikita had even overcompensated with Aubrey, and that Aubrey was no longer feeling jealous of Mia. Michael shifted on the couch and stood up. He grabbed the little gift box he had for Nikita. It wasn't a little gift, but he wasn't going to give it to her with everyone else around. Yet, her absence now, while Aubrey was opening the crowned jewel of his Christmas gifts that something was wrong.

Michael was about to go seek Nikita out when the oven slammed and Nikita suddenly appeared, looking haggard. Michael was pleased to see that no one was looking at her as he reached his hand out for Nikita. As she was now, he wasn't sure how he would take everyone looking at her. She had squirmed when Mia and Aubrey made sure that she got their individual gifts, not liking to be watched.

"This is for you," Michael softly said. Nikita looked at the box and shook her head. She looked over her shoulder were Mia was examining some new clothing that Nikita had selected.

"I got what I wanted, Michael..." Nikita protested out and Michael pushed the gift towards her hands. He smiled as the box sat in her hand. She was stalling and Michael pushed his hand through Nikita's hair.

"This isn't about things that you need or things that you want.... This is something special Nikita..." Michael whispered and Nikita looked to the box and swallowed. She had given Michael two gifts, a whole new tool chest, with every single tool that one man could ever want, need, or imagine, and then a rare first edition book of Les Miserables, knowing that it was one of Michael's favorite books from the time he read it as a child.

"Open it, Nikita." Michael softly prodded Nikita. She lifted the box lid off and pulled out the piece of paper. Michael watched her eyes overfill with tears as she read the words on the paper. She looked to Michael and collapsed forward with loud sobs that caused everyone to turn and look at her. Fear was struck into the children's eyes when the first sobs were heard, until they saw the loving smile that was on their father's face as he stroked at Nikita's head, as she cried into his stomach.

"Nikita... do you want to tell them..." Michael softly questioned. His hands turned with Nikita shaking her head no, still crying loudly and forcefully. Michael looked around and swallowed.

"Someone has to tell them..." Michael whispered back, but now it was extremely quiet in the room. Nikita squeezed his hand and placed the piece of paper into the hand. Michael looked at Nikita and swallowed. This was why he wanted it to be a private gift, one that Nikita could take as a splendid gesture of his love. He didn't want to have to explain it all in front of everyone. It was kind of like something he wanted to do like Walter did. He asked Norma to marry him in the kitchen, away from everyone, and then came to announce it. Now, there was no time for that. Everyone was looking at them. There was pressure on the situation and Nikita couldn't function.

"In the honor of Nikita Samuelle... a foundation named Christmas Hope was established for women who have breast cancer and want to explore other avenues of treatment before surgical measures. This foundation, Christmas Hope will provide financial backing and funds to help the treatment and counseling of those women," Michael softly spoke out for everyone to hear. Nikita only sobbed louder. He didn't want the gift to cause so much grief. He bent down and kissed Nikita's head.

"That's so beautiful..." Norma whispered out as she hung her arm around Walter's neck. She looked at Michael as he tried to coax Nikita out of the shell that she was crying in. Madeline was staring, wondering how Michael had done so and how much of Section One's money did he use to tie it up. Madeline was sure that she didn't care about how it was done, but it would be interesting to ask later.

"Nikita... It was suppose to make you happy..." Michael softly whispered and Nikita lifted her head and looked around.

"I have to go check the turkey," Nikita hurriedly said as she stepped up and ran out of the living room. Michael blinked his eyes and closed them. Everyone looked at Michael for sometime before he looked to the tree and sighed.

"If you two don't finish opening up the gifts... we are never going to get to Christmas dinner!" Michael said with fake happiness. Everyone turned back to what they were doing before. Michael leaned back on the couch and swallowed. He didn't even feel like he was a part of this Christmas.

*

Christmas dinner had always in the past been a cheerful and wonderful time. Last year, Nikita wasn't there, but nothing really was different from the other Christmases before. There would be music playing and then there would be a constant chattering. It always seemed to center around the gifts that were given and the humor of watching someone's face while they looked at their gifts.

That wasn't what was occurring at this Christmas dinner. Everyone was silent. Two helping eaten by most not even half by Nikita. The silence droned on, only to be broken every once in a while by Walter or Norma, commenting on what they wanted their wedding to be like.

Michael picked at the stuffing that was on his plate. It was his second helping and he had never been a man to skimp on Christmas dinner, but this one was too different. Maybe it was because of the absence of Birkoff and Operations. Michael had told Birkoff that he could come over with Mary, that it wasn't a problem. Birkoff just politely said that they would be over for desert.

"I'll go get the pumpkin pies," Nikita announced as she pulled her plate up in her hand and walked back to the kitchen. Michael noticed everyone's eyes watching her as she went. Mia sighed in almost relief and Aubrey looked at his father with concern. No one spoke now either, knowing that Nikita's return was going to be soon.

"They look wonderful, Nikita." Madeline said as Nikita placed the two perfect pumpkin pies on the table and then dropped the container of Cool-Whip on the lace tablecloth. Nikita turned to returned with the spoons to eat the pie with and sat down.

"I didn't make them. I unfroze them and put them in the oven for about ten minutes," Nikita replied and Madeline dropped her head. Nikita didn't even ask what everyone wanted and started to cut the pie. The doorbell rang and Michael went to answer the door, almost glad to hear Birkoff say Merry Christmas with a cheerful voice.

Birkoff walked into the dinning room, not letting go of Mary's hand. The two were positively glowing and they didn't even make an attempt to pull their coats off. Michael sat down as Birkoff turned and gently kissed Mary's hand.

"Sit down.... I almost have these cut," Nikita said and Madeline touched Nikita's shoulder lightly. She looked to Madeline and then to Birkoff as he smiled at Mary and Mary giggled.

"I'm going to be a father!" Birkoff cried out in happiness and then all the room exploded with noise. Madeline jumped up from her seat, almost knocking Nikita into the pie that she was still trying to serve. She rounded the table and grabbed Birkoff first and then Mary.

"How far along?" Madeline questioned and Birkoff dropped his head and turned a nice shade of red. He swallowed and licked his lips.

"Almost three." Mary announced and now it was Walter that whooped for happiness.

"You old dog, Birkoff... Couldn't wait for your honeymoon, could you?" Walter happily joked his best friend. Birkoff shrugged his shoulder as Michael stood up and shook Birkoff's hand. Birkoff looked to Mary and kissed her happily.

"It was the first gift I opened... It was a shirt that said, "I'm the Daddy!" and I just stared at Mary for ten minutes with tears running down my face." Birkoff started to tell the story. Mary walked over to Mia and hugged the teenager that was positively beaming.

"We have a gift for you Mia... but we really want you to be the godmother," Mary said as she stepped away from Mia. Mia's eyes opened wide and the smile just got bigger. Nikita placed the pie turner down and smiled at the couple with a forceful smile that Michael noticed.

"Well.. you should have brought the mother-to-be over to eat... Nikita made a great feast as always," Walter said and Nikita now stood up. She looked to Walter, shaking her head and finally took a glass and slammed it into the pie.

"I didn't make it! YOU DID!" Nikita shouted at Walter and stormed out of the room. Now the entire happiness that was going on in the room broke down and Michael dropped his head. Slowly he pushed his hand through his hair and sighed as he looked up at Birkoff and Mary as they stared at the doorway that Nikita had stormed off.

"I don't think I can explain that to you," Michael stated and Birkoff pulled at a chair and happily helped his wife and mother-to-be down into the chair. He rubbed his hands through her hair and smiled at her. Mary was afraid that Birkoff would be upset that she didn't tell him right away, but it was close to Christmas and she couldn't think of anything else to give the man that had given her the entire life she had now.

"So.. did she like the gift? The foundation?" Birkoff questioned as he took his chair and leaned forward on the table as Madeline pulled the water glass out of the pie, glad to see that there was no water left in it when she had thrown it and that it hadn't broken. The perfect pumpkin pies might not have a smooth surface, but they were still edible.

"You had something to do with that? You are getting sneaky in your old age, Birkoff." Madeline said as she cut a piece out and placed it on a plate for Mary. Madeline watched as Mary piled on the Cool-whip and she blushed.

"Birkoff... Cool-whip..." Mary said as she poked his stomach with her elbow. Walter started to laugh and Michael was about to laugh when the front door slammed loudly. Michael closed his eyes as both of his children looked in the direction of the porch and Michael stood up. Madeline looked to him and nodded her head. She felt that he probably should have spoken to her hours ago, but Nikita and effectively stayed away from her, escorting Mia to the bathroom as often as she could and helping Mia try on her clothing that Nikita had bought her.

"Ah... I'll explain the Foundation to Madeline... I'm sure she is wondering where the money is coming from..." Birkoff said as he cleared his throat. Michael only nodded his head and moved towards the hallway, knowing that he didn't like the fact that Nikita was in this mood. It was Christmas.

Michael opened up the closet and pulled out his heavy blue winter coat. He looked at the rack and saw that Nikita's coat was still hanging up. He looked immediately to the living room and saw that the blanket was gone from the couch. Michael slid his shoes on and looked out the glass window and saw Nikita huddled in the blanket on the front steps.

She didn't even move her head when Michael opened the door to join her. She didn't even wipe off the steps where she had sat down. In covered in only the blanket and the red and green sweat suit that she didn't even change out of, Nikita sat down on the wet, snow-covered step. Michael sat down next to her and touched her arms, feeling how cold she was.