Michael walks down the hall, looking and scanning the halls quickly and carefully. Although he barely moves his head, he can tell who is all there, and who is missing. Not seeing his wife... oh the sound is still wierd to Michael, he heads to Birkoff.

"Have you seen Nikita?" Michael asks as he looks down and glances at the screen. It was nothing that interested Michael and Nikita at the moment, but the more that Michael picked up, the more prepared he would be when the lower operatives made mistakes.

"She is briefing for a mission with Madeline." Birkoff says and Michael glances towards the glass office, which is uncharacteristically darken.

"Up there?" Michael asks and Birkoff follows Michael's eyes to the location of the office.

"Yes. Madeline is covering everything with a massive coding that it would take three weeks to translate a sentence." Birkoff informs Michael quickly, knowing that Michael wanted to know more.

"I'm sure that Nikita will tell me what she feels is needed for us in this mission." Michael says as he starts to head away.

"Michael, Maybe you didn't understand me." Birkoff says and Michael turns around, and Birkoff mentally takes a step back with the look from Michael. "This mission is Madeline and Nikita. You will not be involved." Birkoff says.

Michael approachess the young man and is about three inches from his face.

"And you?" Michael asks with wide opened eyes.

"No contact. If contact is going to be made, it will be made through Operations and only Operations. Ayn isn't even being involved." Birkoff says quickly, and pushes away in his chair, feeling the heat of Michael's eyes drilling a hole into his forehead.

"Must be a mind game mission." Michael says as his shoulders drop by only an inch, but definately a sign of defeat in Michael.

"Madeline... what do I tell Michael?" Nikita asks as she holds a glass of water in her hand. She slowly picks up the glass and sips the water as Madeline turns around from the wall.

"Not much. I hope to finish this mission as quickly as possible." Madeline says.

"And I will have to question you..." Nikita starts.

"As I question you. I don't want you holding back emotions here. This is not the mission to perfect your blank stare that Michael has helped you to use." Madeline says softly.

"And you?" Nikita asks with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"I will not be using it either. If anything, it is this going against our training that will hold this mission back." Madeline says softly.

Nikita sets down the glass, and looks at Madeline. With the silence, Nikita walks quietly out. Madeline slumps into the chair. She checks that all was coded in a way, that Birkoff would spend the rest of his life trying to figure out.

************

Michael picked up another plate and gently washed it with the soapy cloth. He glanced over at the pile of dishes left to be washed, and Nikita had barely eaten.

Michael had stayed in Section for quite a while this day. He searched the incoming intel, looking for a possible mission to involve Nikita with, but all intel was being floated to others within Headquarters and other sectors of Section. He mulled around some paperwork, but with sharing an office with Nikita, Nikita had shown Michael numerous short cuts in paperwork. Most of the paperwork just needed to be handed to Operations.

Even that task was to easy on this day. Michael found him immediately. No more than three steps out of the office, Michael ran into Operations. He didn't want a report, he just took the paperwork and told Michael to go home, and that he would be sure that he got Nikita home at a decent hour.

So, feeling the need to do something, Michael came home, which was still extremely new, and cooked. He prepared, and cooked. He moved from one pot to another. He moved with expert moves, and soon there was so much food that him and Nikita will be eating left overs for a week. Michael even packaged some away to smuggle into Section for Walter.

Michael dropped the soapy cloth, ran the plate underneath some warm clear water and moved to out of the kitchen. He turned the corner and walked down the little hallway, through the dinning room, and finally into the living room. He sees the television on, which he had thought Nikita was watching. He looks up the stairs, but does not notice the bathroom light on, which Nikita automatically turns on. He looks off to the right, and sees a rare light on in the little study room.

"Nikita, are you sure you are not hungry still?" Michael asks as he turns the corner and sees Nikita's hair draped over the chair which it's back is facing Michael.

"I'm sure." Nikita says softly. Michael pulls his neck up and sees that Nikita is reading one of the many books that Madeline had sent home with her. It had been ages since Madeline had done that.

"Nikita, I think we have to discuss something." Michael says softly. Nikita closes the book and swivels the chair around.

"That sounds serious." Nikita says as the book lays on her lap. Lucky for Michael, the title is up. Unlucky for Michael, the title is simply, EMOTIONS.

"Nikita, why aren't you pregnant yet?" Michael asks as he squats down and holds Nikita's knees. Nikita pauses and licks her lips.

"Section is probably finding a way to feed us the birth control." Nikita says softly, hoping that it is true.

"Nikita, that is why I have been cooking for us. We haven't had anything in there... even our water is from bottles I bought at the store." Michael says as he looks into her eyes. Her mind is somewhere else, but he wasn't sure where.

"OH NO! Madeline gave me water today.. and a few days ago... I drank some more.." Nikita says with a smile. "Michael... I have other things to worry about." Nikita says as she pushes Michael gently backwards. He lands softly on his sculptured behind, and Nikita stands up.

"Nikita... maybe it's time we do something else." Michael says gently as he stands up, and grabs Nikita before she walks out.

"Michael... I must worry about this mission first. I can't tell you about it... It worries the hell out of me.. and I have to be ready." Nikita says as she pulls quickly away.

"Nikita..." Michael calls out, but lets her go. There was definately something here that he didn't like. He mentally jotted down the book's title, "EMOTIONS"

************

Michael walks through the silent hallways of Section. Oddly, he finds three operatives playing cards off to the one corner and in another corner, two operatives are tossing pennies against the wall. Michael turns towards the computer, and finds that even Birkoff appears bored. Now, that behavior is odd. If Birkoff has no work to do at the time, he would easily get lost on one of the many pages of games on the internet. Instead, today, is chin is in the hand of his right arm.

"Are you busy?" Michael asks, knowing that he isn't.

"I'm playing Freecell... does it look like I'm busy?" Birkoff says very sarcastically.

"Why not a net game?" Michael asks.

"Madeline has tied up the computer system. This is all that I can get." Birkoff says with a deep frown.

"I might have something interesting for you to do." Michael says softly as he turns off the game.

"I was winning that hand!" Birkoff complains as Michael opens the menu to find out what Birkoff can use.

"There." Michael announces as he steps back from the screen. "I need you to find me a book titled, "EMOTIONS", as quickly as possible." Michael says.

"Doesn't sound like your type of book." Birkoff says as he pushes back towards the computer.

"Do we know when they leave on the mission?" Michael asks, as he looks up at the darken glass office.

"Tonight." Birkoff says. "Do we know the author?" Michael nods his head no.

"Do we know where they are going?" Michael asks.

"No. Madeline had tied everything up. I even think most of this is out of Operations control." Birkoff says. "Do we know when it was published?" Michael again nods no.

"Is there a way to find out more?" Michael asks as he stares at the black windows.

"NO. MADELINE HAS EVERYTHING TIED UP!" Birkoff says angerily. "Michael, I have over 5,000 possible books, anything more to narrow it down?" Birkoff asks.

"It had a blue cover." Michael says. "But you are able to use the library in the computer... isn't there a back door way?" Michael asks.

"Michael, Madeline has essentially turned off our computers." Birkoff says firmly. Michael nods and turns and leaves.

"OH, Birkoff, I want that book before she leaves." Michael says without turning around.

"Michael I said there are over 5,000 books that have the title EMOTIONS!" Birkoff says in protest.

"You are the genius." Michael says as he strides away in his forceful walk.

************

Madeline and Nikita walk off of the airplane and both pull down sunglasses. Madeline's are gold wired framed with dark lenses and Nikita's are black from end to end, except for the two red hearts on the ends of each side. Both are wearing a buisness like outfit, although, outfits don't matter in this mission. Both walk firmly ahead, carrying nothing more than a purse.

"Hello ladies." a man says as Madeline and Nikita walk off of the private runway.

"Dr. Ressler, hello." Madeline says sharply, and Nikita only stands.

"Yes. And I was not given your names." Dr. Ressler says firmly as he leads the ladies to a golf cart. Nikita and Madeline sit down and then Dr. Ressler sits down.

"I am Madeline. She is Nikita." Madeline says quickly. She pulls out some papers from her purse. "Those will confirm who we are and our creditentials."

"I must say, I am very interested in your work." Dr. Ressler says as he looks up Nikita. Nikita makes a show, of pushing her sunglasses up, while exposing her wedding ring to the doctor. Immediately, his eyes move away.

"And way is that?" Nikita finally speaks as she looks at the terrain that is moving by quickly.

"It's an interesting view to take... Madeline was your mentor, but somehow both of you developed into more than that. It's like the ultimate counter-transference or even transference that I've ever seen. It is odd that transference is good." Dr. Ressler says.

"Where will you be viewing us from?" Madeline asks as she looks out at the other side of the terrain.

"I have placed video cameras... two way mirrors are a big distraction." Dr. Ressler says as he looks at the two ladies not looking at each other. "Why do you two seem like enemies?" Dr. Ressler asks, sensing some tension.

"That will have to wait for the session." Madeline says firmly.

Michael opens the door and Birkoff walks in with a pile of books. He places them on the floor, next to another 4 stacks of books.

"That's it." Birkoff says as he walks into the kitchen for some water.
"Are the computers up?" Michael asks.

"I already started to look for a mission profile of some sort. Michael, it's a brick wall." Birkoff says firmly.

"How many books?" Michael asks.

"I found 84 of the 'EMOTIONS' books with a blue cover. You could have at least mentioned which shade of blue." Birkoff complains as Michael starts to looks through the books.

"Nikita's eyes." Michael says as he pulls out a book, but then replaces it back into the pile.

"Michael.. her eyes change colors!" Birkoff says.

"I know." Michael mumbles as he is striking out on finding the book. "It was one of those books that Madeline gave Nikita...ugh!" Michael says as he looks at the last book. None of the books match.

"If it is a Madeline book, why don't we just go to her office and borrow it." Bikroff asks, and Michael half smiles.

"We can do that now." Michael says as he heads out the door.

************

Madeline looked around the pleasant wood toned room as Nikita sat down quickly in the chair. Madeline knew it was going to be difficult on Nikita to do what was required on this mission. What Madeline didn't know if Nikita opening up her own tragic emotions was going to be harder than Nikita opening up Madeline's.

"Married life is agreeing with you." Madeline says as she looks at the young lady. Nikita is twiddling the wedding ring.

"Yes, it is." Nikita says with a smile.

"And you plan to have children?" Madeline asks.

"Yes." Nikita answers, but a bit too softly.

"What is it about children, Nikita? He wants them, right?" Madeline asks softly.

"Yes. He is obsessed about it. He counts the days, he comes up with wierd explainations why we didn't get pregnant this time..." Nikita says and Madeline realizes that she is going to have to do something about this situation once the mission is over.

"He even joked that someone is still feeding us birth control... can you believe that!" Nikita laughs with a huge smile. Madeline goes, "OH NO" in her head. Instantly, she understands the thinking behind of Michael's and Nikita's thoughts about her lack of motherhood.

"Do you think you would make a good mother?" Madeline asks as she folds her legs.

"I hope so... but I have never known a good mother." Nikita says.

"We have spoken about your mother some before. What was one of the first memories that you had as a child?" Madeline asks.

Nikita closes her eyes in thought. Madeline watches as Nikita's eyes twitch. Nikita is not acting, she is allowing herself to think back to that first time.

"I remember pain..." Nikita says in a voice starting to crack up.

"What is the pain caused by?" Madeline asks.

"My arm... no! It hurts... rubbing it out... rubbing it out." Nikita cries out and Madeline is shocked by the reaction. Nikita is not even opening her eyes. She has gone totally back into her memory.

"Rubbing what out?" Madeline asks firmly, firmly enough to snap Nikita's eyes back open.

"My mother would put her cigarettes out on my arm." Nikita says with tears on her face.

"On purpose?" Madeline stupidly asks. Nikita stands up and walks to the wall.

"Oh, like she created little patterns on my arm by accident!" Nikita explodes. Madeline looks at the little camera and walks to it.

"I think we need a little break here." Madeline says, but does not turn off the camera.

"Nikita... what she did to you will not effect what kind of mother you will be." Madeline says.

"If I'm allowed to be a mother." Nikita whispers harshly back at Madeline. "Maybe I don't want to be a mother...." Nikita says and she walks sadly back to her chair.

"Hurry, Birkoff." Michael orders as he opens Madeline's office. Birkoff enters and turns on the light.

"I know that book." Birkoff says as he starts scanning the piles of books that are in Madeline's office. Birkoff ducks a little and then pulls out the book quickly.

"Thank you." Michael says as he takes the paper cover off, and replaces it with another book underneath the paper cover. Michael opens the door, looks both ways, and the two men exit with the book.

************

"Madeline, I know that your ex has come back into you and your daughter's life." Nikita states as Madeline now sits in the hot seat.

"Yes, he has." Madeline states, and knows that Nikita is going with what she knows.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" Nikita asks without a pause.

"Of course, he is the father of my daughter." Madeline response defensively.

"Do you still love him?" Nikita asks instantly. Madeline blinks.

"There are things about him that I will constantly love, but that doesn't stop the fact that I love someone else..." Madeline rambles on, surprized with Nikita's technique.

"That's not what I asked. Do you still love him?" Nikita asks firmly.

"Yes. Our time together will be forever remembered with love." Madeline says firmly.

"And what do you love about him?" Nikita asks. Madeline is not sure what Nikita is heading out. It is like she is digging for information about her father through Madeline's own emotions. Nikita had a chance to do what Madeline could only wish she could do, and she was.

"Before you knew him.. many years ago... he would take ever piece of life he got, and hold it in his hands and grow it. He had a sense of humor, and more emotions than you can imagine. His body just ached with passion, heat, and lust. He was idealistic, and all of that has changed. Yet, basically, it's still all there..." Madeline says as she progressively get more emotional. "and I still love him." Madeline says as her jaw twitches and a tear runs down her face.

Dr. Ressler walks in and hands the ladies two glasses of water. Nikita sits down as Dr. Ressler goes to the cabinet. Madeline wants to get to her purse, so she can transmit the signal so that the computers can be exposed, but Dr. Ressler effectively keeps her away from it.

"Oh, I'm getting so tired." Nikita says as she looks at Madeline and rubs her head. Knowing that it is too late, Madeline heads for her purse.

"I really must use the bathroom... you know." Madeline says with smile. Dr. Ressler directs her. Once inside the bathroom, she turns on the transmitter and walks back out.

Nikita is laying down, with wires on her forehead and body. Dr. Ressler is standing behind a videoscreen.

"Now for my research. This machine... will help us see Nikita's dream. Because of the topic you spoke about, I think it will be quite emotional." Dr. Ressler says with a smile. Madeline only replies with a Mona Lisa smile.

Michael sets the books down and rubs his forehead. From what he has read, it is about machines that can cause the brain to revisit deep emotions at levels never experienced before.

There is a small knock at the door.

"Sir." Michael says as he sees Operations at the door.

"I heard you have the book I am looking for." Operations says as he steps in and looks around.

"I think that you don't need to read it." Michael says.

"That bad?" Operations asks.

"And why wasn't anyone else in on this mission?" Michael demands.

************

Madeline had not expected to see this done. It was a possibility, and that is why they both read EMOTIONS, but it was not expected. And now, Madeline realized that the book hadn't told enough.

Nikita was suffering. Each time she would try to wake up from the dream, it would force her back.

"No, mama... don't hit.. please..." Nikita cries out as the screen shows her mother's face near her and her hand is coming towards the face, opened. Nikita flinches with the contact.

"I'm sorry mama... please..." Nikita cries out and Madeline looks away from Nikita's body. At that point, a man appears on the screen.

"She better never be a mother... whore's daughters make the worst kind of mother.. a mother that should never be!" The man hisses as he moves towards Nikita.

"I'll make a good mother... I will.. see my dolly.. I take good.. good care of..." Nikita mutters as the man's face moves towards Nikita's. Then suddenly, all is seen is air. Madeline can't even watch the screen as the screams from Nikita's voice happens and the screen shows the abuse from the one of the many boyfriends.

"You are no good... no good little brat..." The man says and finally Dr. Ressler allows Nikita to wake up.

Nikita immediately sits up and gasps for air. Her body trembles as she intakes the air and tears continue to run down her face. She looks at Madeline with wide opened eyes and Madeline looks away.

Madeline moves to Nikita and rubs her hair. As she does this movement, the windows bust inward.

Madeline helps Nikita to move out of the way, and soon, Dr. Ressler is taken by the Section group.

"Take him in, and his machine and research. Destroy that tape." Madeline orders as she leads Nikita out of the room.

By the time Nikita hits the van, she is walking on her own. She slides into the van and sits still.

"Nikita... I know that it was a bad.." Madeline starts and Nikita firmly looks at Madeline.

"Don't worry, I learned some things about myself." Nikita says while taking Madeline's hand. "You don't have to worry about me getting pregnant... I don't want a kid." Nikita says firmly. Madeline stares at Nikita in shock. Madeline was just planning on meeting with Operations to tackle the strategy for telling Nikita the truth. Now, Nikita had done something that was not expected. Yet, it would fit with what she had learned.

"Nikita, he was just one boyfriend..." Madeline protests, knowing Michael was going to hate this one.

"I don't think I'm ready." Nikita affirms.

"Ok... now about the side effects of this..." Madeline says as the van drives back towards Section.

************

Michael walked into the house and turned on the living room light. He turns the corner and is surprized to see Nikita laying out on the couch.

"Nikita... when did you get back?" Michael asks as he walks over to the couch.

"About an hour ago." Nikita mumbles as Michael slides down on the plush carpet infront of the couch. He softly touchs Nikita's hand.

"I wanted to talk about..." Michael starts.

"I don't want a kid." Nikita says quickly as she turns her puffed face to Michael. Michael blinks a few times and reaches to smooth her puffy face.

"Nikita... I don't want to pressure you.." Michael says.

"I DON'T WANT A KID!" Nikita hollers as she pulls away from his hands. She quickly moves into the bedroom.

Michael looks towards the hallway as he hears the sobs from the bathroom over the falling water from the shower. Nikita was extremely tired, but each time she had fallen asleep, she had a nightmare. Suddenly, the crying stops and Nikita walks into the room.

She slides into bed, turns off the light and rolls her back to Michael. Michael continues to sit up and watchs Nikita. It didn't take long until Nikita's breathing increased.

"No.. mama... no.. no more... me good.. me good.. not bad.. OWWWWHHH!" Nikita calls out and Michael watches silently. Suddenly, Nikita sits straight up.

"It's alright." Michael says as he brushes Nikita's hair back with his hands.

"Why can't I sleep?" Nikita moans. Michael pulls her to his body and lays down on the side. He brushes his fingers cross her upper arm.

"What was the mission?" Michael asks.

"We took down Dr. Ressler... I remembered things.. that I was... hit.. thrown... " Nikita cries out. Michael is sure that this current pot of emotional stew that Madeline helped brew is why Nikita decided that she didn't want a child.

"Look, I'm going to be here for you... no matter what we do or not do..." Michael says softly as he kisses Nikita's shoulder.

With Michael watching over Nikita until she was in a deep sleep, they both layed, in peace.

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