ATTENTION: Stories marked with an * may contain material which would be better appreciated by those over 18. Parental Discretion is advised. This is your responsibility, not ours.

"Confessions"



Nikita looks up at the giant curved ceiling above her as her shoes click on the wood floor beneath her. Nikita looks up at the columns, decorated with a mosaic pattern, and turns suddenly as the heavy wooden door shuts completely. The wood pews start in front of her, and she walks down the center of the church, heading to the huge confessional standing to the upper right hand corner. She nervously looks in the hundreds of golden wood pews, and finds not another soul in the glowing church. She heads towards the darker wood confessional, which has a carving of an elaborate cross, and looks up at the stain glass window. The contrast between the glowing stain glass window, in it's many colors, to the dark wood, foreshadowing the darkness Nikita was going to reveal for the purpose of the mission, was ironic.

Nikita starts to nervously play with her hair. The last time she was in a church, was after the mission that she saved Michael in one of the worst ways possible, and the last time she was in a confessional... Nikita couldn't even exactly remember. Nikita looks back at the doors she entered in, knowing that Michael was sitting in a tiny little red sports car, waiting to take her back to the hotel they are staying in. Nikita touches the tracker lightly, and the nerves double.

"Nikita, I will be the only one, and all information will be sealed." Madeline says slowly, noticing Nikita's paused movement. Nikita touches the name plate of the father's name. 'Father J. Ramone'. Nikita takes a deep breathe and enters the confessional.

Although, Nikita cannot remember exactly when the last time she was in a confessional... she remembers the drill. She kneels and waits for the father. In that time, dread and comfort mix together in the darkness of the confessional, and Nikita folds her hands. The screen opens and Nikita bows her head. Although, the father is not visible, Nikita feels the powerful presence.

"Forgive me father... for I have sinned." Nikita says nervously, and with the nerves, her accent is easily heard.

The father moves his head slightly at the accent, and licks his lips lightly.

"You are not from around here." The father says softly.

"No, I am not." Nikita says softly back.

"When was your last confession?" The father asks along the lines of protocol.

"Ha.." Nikita laughs softly with nerves. "I think I was...15.. no 16... it was...when I was 16." Nikita says and then takes a deep breath.

"And how long ago was that..." The father asks with a raised eyebrow, wondering who this lady was.

"Oh... oh... well, I don't remember how long ago.... there is so much... I don't remember days... months, years of my life... Oh god!" Nikita cries out, not in a rehearsed way, but in the realization of the truth.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" The father says softly.

************

Ayn sits at her desk with her computer on a communication link, but we do not see who the person is.

"Oh, honey, I wish I could come back to the island... but the head guy... he is watching me.." Ayn says with a sad stare to the screen. Ayn hears her door open slightly. "I have to go." Ayn says as she immediately cuts off the link. She turns towards the door, and sees the head guy walk in himself.

"Ayn, who was that?" Operations asks softly as he closes the door and points to the computer.

"Some contacts on the island, Operations." Ayn says quickly as she turns her gaze away from Operations. Operations pauses. He would have left if Ayn would have called him Viktor. No matter how many times Operations had lectured her, she continued to call him Viktor. But with the name being Operations, he immediately knew something was up.

"You call the islands almost everyday." Operations says walking closer to Ayn, who tries to turn in her chair. Operations grabs the arms and pulls her back to look at him.

"I have some important contacts there that like to update me daily." Ayn lies quickly, but Operations pulls her closer.

"Did you met someone there?" Operations demands with a firm voice.

"No." Ayn says firmly back, and with the answer, Operations knows it to be true.

"Who is on that island that is so special?" Operations demands, but Ayn looks away. But with the movement, the gold locket shines in Operations eyes. He grabs it with a hand, and Ayn turns immediately around. He opens it to Ayn's terror.

"A young boy... around 7?" Operations says softly.

"Actually 8" Ayn supplies the half information. Ayn pulls it away from Operations hand.

"What is his name?" Operations asks.

"Tyrone." Ayn says softly. "Please, leave, Viktor." Ayn says.

"I won't question your calls anymore.. next time you should bring him with you." Operations says and walks away.

"If I brought him, you'd know he is yours." Ayn mutters outloud. Ayn turns to her desk and fusses for a while. She picks up the phone.

"I need to speak with Madeline." Ayn says in a firm voice.

************

"I was homeless... and was saved... because... I kill to live." Nikita says bluntly. The father only raises his eyebrows, and wonders if this lady could give him some information that he can get some money for.

"And God will forgive you." The father says in a uniformed voice.

"He never forgave me.. I can't be... because I will kill again, although I don't want too." Nikita says in a metered tone.

"You have a choice... you don't have to kill again." The father says in an equally metered tone.

"The only choice is do I kill or do they kill me." Nikita says in a firm voice.

"Is there anything else? It seems like you can come in here after everytime you kill, and all will be forgiven by God, if you are truly sorry." The father says.

"I'm always truly sorry... I was truly sorry that I was born to start with... I was truly sorry that I disappointed my mother and told her I wanted my first time to be because of love... I was truly sorry that I lost my baby... I was truly sorry that I cannot accept my father, and never will..." Nikita spits out quickly and her tears run down her face. The father blinks for a few seconds, stunned by the lady's confession. He swallows as his mind is running in two different directions. One is the father manner, and the other, who does this lady work for, and who should he sell the information too.

"GOD loves you... and he forgives you... Can I help your pain in anyway?" the father says, wanting more information.

Nikita taps the tracker once, hoping for Madeline to tell her to end for now, or to continue on. Nikita rubs her face lightly and frowns more.

"You have paused.... is this too much for today?" The father asks quietly.

"Nikita, leave for today." Madeline finally instructs.

"Yes.. yes father, it is." Nikita says in half relief, and half terror that tomorrow she will return.

"I want you to think about what you have done, and think about the real meaning of love, so that you can understand that God loves all of his children." The father says softly. "Pray to Mary for help... and I am here everyday at this time. Go in peace and God loves you." The father finishes.

"Thank you father." Nikita says and makes the sign of the cross and leaves quickly.

************

Michael sits in the car as Nikita walks towards the church the next day at the same time. He frowns and tries to focus away from the image of the church. Michael doesn't notice himself trembling as he thinks back to the mission like this that he had.

*

"Father, I kill... I kill when I am told, and then the people who keep me... they killed my wife, and my son.... But I killed Nikita." Michael says emotionally in the confessional at a different church while Nikita was 'dead'.

"God is forgiving." The father replies.

"But.. I KILLED NIKITA... I tried to save her... I should have given her more time... I killed her... I tried to get her out in time... and I allowed it to happen..." Michael cries softly and the father sits back in his chair. This father had some beginning psychology courses under his belt, along with the priesthood, and knew that this crumbling man needed to tell all. "She was going to kill herself just hours... she had the gun in her hand... and at her face... but instead.. I killed her... and the only reason she didn't kill herself was me.. and I killed her." Michael says firmly as he trembles and tears run down his face. "I warned her... and the communicator still connects.. but Nikita... she would have told me is she was alive.. I killed her.. under their orders." Michael stutters.

"Is it possible that she is still alive?" The father asks, hoping to offer some comfort to the man.

"Yes... but she's not." Michael replies.

"You seem more upset over this Nikita than the deaths of your wife and son... did you love her?" The father asks softly.

"Yes..." Michael chokes out as grief eats at his heart with big sobs.

"God watches over the ones we love... God loves us... and this Nikita... has the love and protection of God himself. If he wanted her... then you must believe that she is in a better place... if he didn't... she is still out there... probably thinking of you." the father says slowly as Michael's sobs slow down.

"I never told her." Michael says with another series of sobs.

"I'm sure she knows." The father says. "You tried to set her..'free'.. that is love."

"Thank you, father." Michael says with tears still on his face.

"Go in peace." The father says, and Michael sits stunned.

"No pentence?" Michael asks softly.

"Pray for God to watch over those whom you love." The father says and dismisses Michael.

*

Madeline closes the classified information and stores it away in her safe. Even Operations knows nothing of this tape, as she had told Michael, only Madeline knew.

She moves back to her desk and the phone rings again.

"Madeline, it is Ayn confirming her meeting with you today." an operative informs Madeline.

"Ayn, I will meet you at the airport." Madeline says after she picks up the phone, and puts the phone back down without waiting for a response. It was time for Nikita to go back to the confessional.

************

Nikita looks at the door and pauses yet again. The feel of the tracker is more pronouce today than the previous day. She swallows hard, and hopes the Madeline truly means that it will only be heard by her.

"Hello father." Nikita says as the screen opens. The father notes the lady, and immediately recalls the image of the tall blonde running out of the church yesterday.

"At least you remember when your last confession was." The father say with a soft voice.

"Yes... and I had much to think about." Nikita says, and she takes another moment to close her eyes and think.

"What troubles you the most?" The father asks. He had contacted some of the groups he works with, and the one group particularly, Red Cell was looking for a duo, who might be the two that now grace his church.

"I am accustomed to killing now... even innocents... What haunts me ever day... is the fact that I lost his baby." Nikita cries softly, admitting the truth of the pain in her heart.

"Was it not also your baby?" The father asks softly, feeling for this woman, who is a confessed killer.

"Yes... but it is easier to.. to say.. it was his.. I disappointed me... I am always so tough...but I couldn't protect that child... and I never knew.. until it was gone..." Nikita cries. "I can't even remember how long ago it was... everything is jumbled... mixed up... I don't know when it all happened. I look back, and it feels like just yesterday, I wasn't allowed to love him.. and now we talk marriage." Nikita says softly.

The father nods his head, knowing that he must be speaking to the lady of the duo that Red Cell is hunting.

"Section One will do that to you." The father says firmly and Nikita wipes her tears away.

"Go with it Nikita." Madeline orders.

"Yes... Section One did that to me." Nikita confirms softly. "How did you know?" Nikita asks, like Madeline instructs.

"Red Cell is hunting a couple from Section One... who are extremely close.. rumored to be married." the father says softly with a touch of evil on the voice.

"They married us.. but to us.. we aren't." Nikita explains quickly. "What do you want from me?" Nikita asks.

"I want some information to give to Red Cell." The father says immediately.

"Nikita... we need him to be degraded.. we want Red Cell to kill him." Madeline says, restating the mission profile.

"I can't give that to you." Nikita says immediately.

"Mmm... Red Cell would like to have you." The father says softly. Nikita takes a deep breath.

"And you? Would you like to have me?" Nikita offers softly.

"I was waiting for the offer." The father says with a grin. Nikita digs in her purse and writes down an address.

"I will be there... he won't." Nikita says, and she leaves the confessional.

************

Madeline walks down the airport hallway with Ayn on her side. The two barely look at each other as the make their way out of the airport and into the blue sedan waiting for them.

Madeline takes the wheel and looks at Ayn.

"What is it, Ayn?" Madeline says with a deep and firm voice.

"Madeline, I'd much rather talk elsewhere than your car." Ayn says softly. Madeline looks at Ayn, and turns around.

Madeline quickly makes her way to a small apartment complex, not far from the airport. She draws a key out of her purse, and opens the door.

"I kept this apartment all these years... in case, well.. I rarely use it." Madeline says as she looks around, and glances at the layers of dust.

"I see that Section Housekeeping knows nothing of this apartment." Ayn says softly, as she sits down, after cleaning off the chair.

"Section knows nothing of this apartment." Madeline corrects and Ayn nods her head.

"Ayn, what is it? We haven't spoken on friendly terms in well over eleven years." Madeline says, slightly annoyed as she cleans off her own chair.

"Operations has questioned my calls to the island I like to stay on." Ayn says softly, not sure were to start.

"That is his job." Madeline says watching the nervous eyes of Ayn's.

"He knows why... I have a son... named Tyrone." Ayn says softly. Madeline softly smiles.

"Who is the father?" Madeline asks softly.

"Ah.. Operations saw this picture of Tyrone..." Ayn says handing over the locket.

"Oh, is he eight?" Madeline asks handing the locket back to Ayn.

"No... Tyrone is 10." Ayn says looking away from Madeline's eyes.

Madeline stares at Ayn, and the math is done automatically.

"Operations believes him to be 8." Ayn says as she looks into Madeline's eyes.

"Ah... Ayn... why didn't you say something sooner?" Madeline asks as she reaches out for Ayn's hand.

"We were on bad terms... Operations threatened to cancel me... and I had to protect Tyrone... and I have to continue to do that." Ayn says softly, with a tear on her eyelid.

Madeline stares at Ayn in shock and shakes her head.

"You realize that you have to tell the both of them... It will be bad... I don't think Operations will take it well if he finds out." Madeline says slowly.

"He can't find out." Ayn says standing up and pulling away from Madeline.

"He knows of Tyrone.. he will find out." Madeline corrects Ayn. Ayn shakes her head no firmly.

"I have friends on the island, who will protect him.. I don't want Tyrone near him." Ayn says firmly.

"Has anyone told you about Nikita?" Madeline asks in shock of Ayn's position.

"You haven't allowed much contact between Anna and Operations. I can do the same." Ayn says softly.

"Then why are you telling me?" Madeline asks softly.

"I needed to tell someone... and I need your help." Ayn says.

Madeline pauses for a moment. She looks at Ayn, and though they fought for Operations, bother have been terrible hurt by the man formerly known as Viktor. Both have children by a man, who hasn't shown true love for more than a day or two. Madeline moves to Ayn, and wraps her in a hug.

"I will help you." Madeline says softly. The two cry in the hug, that reunited friends that once swore nothing would come between them.

************

Walter walks to Birkoff's computer and looks down at the screen. Birkoff looks up at Walter and pushes away from the computer.

"Looks like Nikita's mission was a success." Birkoff says as he pulls the printout from the computer. Walter frowns lightly.

"Whatever that misson made 'Kita do, sure has her quiet." Walter says as he watches Birkoff walk to the couple's office.

Both Michael and Nikita type on their computers, and barely raise their heads as Birkoff enters.

"Father J. Ramone was found floating outside the city in the river... it is being called suicide as the parish had found the father in the arms of a woman only a few days prior." Birkoff reads out as he hands the paper to Nikita.

"I'm glad those drugs on the paper worked." Nikita comments as she stands and pulls on her business jacket.

*

"Madeline, I assume you have heard." Nikita says softly as she enters the office. Madeline nods her head and turns off her computer.

"Now, what happens to the tapes?" Nikita asks as she looks at Madeline.

"You were able to admit to a complete stranger some interesting things, Nikita." Madeline says softly as she holds up the tape to Nikita.

"It was part of the mission profile." Nikita responds as her pulse starts to pump faster.

"I find it interesting.. I am sure that you haven't told Michael most of this stuff." Madeline says as she opens the safe. "Don't worry, I'm changing the lock once you leave." Madeline says as she places the tape in the safe.

"What are those other tapes?" Nikita asks, but Madeline closes the safe quickly.

"Those are Michael's. Did he tell you about his mission like this one?" Madeline asks, knowing that he had done no such thing. Nikita nods no quickly.

"In there, it is between us... not even Operations will hear those tapes." Madeline says. Nikita turns and walks away.

Madeline sits, wishing that the two of them would just admit everything, it would save her much time and effort.

************

Operations looks at the screen in the office, and sees Anna staring back at him.

"Hello, Anna!" Operations says with a giant smile. Anna stares back at him.

"Who he, mommie? Who he, mommie?" Anna cries as she looks away from the screen.

"I'm your daddie... remember me, Anna?" Operations says with a bigger smile.

"Me know.. Walt.. and Mikhel... and Kit... and Mommie.. and Birk...off." Anna says slowly.

"I'm your daddie, Anna." Operations says again.

"Me have no daddie... mommie...mommie.. mommie..." Anna cries as she stretches her arms towards Madeline. Madeline pulls her away. Operations stares at the screen as he hears Madeline make plans to send Anna to Walter.

"I'm sorry about that... you just haven't been around." Madeline says as she sits infront of the screen.

"I will be soon." Operations says firmly.

"Oh? Is Stephen getting better?" Madeline asks, but she already knows the answer.

"No... but I have Anna and Nikita there.. and Stephen gets along with Ayn better when I am not around." Operations says and then pauses. "Why did you have a meeting with Ayn?"

"To talk about you." Madeline says and turns off the communication.

*

Ayn smiles at the screen, although it does not show the real image of her son, Tyrone, it shows his face at 8 years old.

"Mom... the sunset was so pretty last night.. it made me remember when we slept on the beach for a week..." Tyrone giggles and Ayn looks over and sees Operations enters. Due to the wonderful computer work of Birkoff, Ayn lets Operations see the image of Tyrone, before telling Tyrone that she would call back.

"He seems to be a lovely boy." Operations says.

"Yes, he is Viktor." Ayn says as she turns to him. "I'm glad I will know what he looks like, no mattter how far away I am." Ayn says.

Operations looks away in pain from the comment, and Ayn smiles within herself. Madeline's plan had worked.

"I want you to work with Stephen.. all the time... I am going to be needed back at Headquarters sooner or later." Operations says and he turns to leave.

"I will do that, Viktor." Ayn says and she watches the door close before she lets the breath that she had been holding go.

************

Nikita walks into the apartment and sits down on the couch. She tosses her hair back and listens to the slight bangs of the dishes Michael is washing.

Michael watches Nikita and sighs to himself. He dries his hands and walks to the couch.

"You saw them in the safe, right?" Michael says, and Nikita jerks her head up and looks at Michael.

"The tapes.. yes." Nikita answers softly. "Mine are there too."

"I know. It is so that Operations doesn't find out." Michael says softly and he sits down next to Nikita. "Don't you want to know what is on them?"

"It doesn't matter." Nikita says defensively. Michael looks away, knowing that maybe for Nikita this is too soon.

"See.. I think it is really ridiculous to keep it locked up.... it only confirms what is already known." Michael talks softly, and Nikita only nods. "I mean... we should hide things anymore... we've almost been married twice now..." Michael says softly. Nikita turns her head to Michael.

"Is this something you want to say, Michael?" Nikita questions.

"More like.. need to say." Michael says softly, as he wraps his hand in Nikita's. "My mission was while you were.. gone... and I admitted everything to this father.... I never felt so guilty... because a part of my body thought you died in that explosion." Michael says keeping his eyes on Nikita's wetting eyes.

"So Madeline knew?" Nikita says and Michael can only nod his head.

"Operations knew nothing of the mission, except that the father had to be cancelled... I told him too much. Section had killed everyone I loved for me... but then they made me kill you... and that... that guilt ate me up." Michael says softly. Nikita kisses his hand softly, and then each of his cheeks. Nikita glances away and then back to Michael.

"Mine... is so stupid... but... but..." Nikita says and turns her head in shame and in embarassment.

"Nikita.. nothing to be ashamed of." Michael says as he tips her chin back to his face. The tears kiss his fingertips lightly and Michael continues his stare.

"It should be.. a non issue..." Nikita says softly. Michael stares into Nikita's eyes more intensely, if possible.

"Nikita... for the longest time, I have felt that you've hidden a lot.... firsts it was your insecurity... and your hate... but something is there... I want to know... I can take anything." Michael says softly.

"The pain... I feel everyday... is that kid.. that I never knew of... I didn't even know... and maybe if I had known... I could have saved it... saved your kid." Nikita cries softly. Michael's mouth opens slightly in shock. He rubs her cheek softly.

"Our kid." Michael corrects softly. "Nikita... we wouldn't have been ready at that time... can you remember how hard it was getting you past that...event.... could you have imagined it if you were pregnant?" Michael asks softly.

"You think it was for the best?" Nikita asks in shock.

"Did we know each other, Nikita? I think we would have ended up like Operations and Madeline... don't you?" Michael asks softly. He reaches over and touchs her chest. "But pain.. pain is natural... and I never expected you to be totally over that." Michael says softly. They hug on the couch, and adventally fall asleep on the couch.

*Epilogue*

Michael stands in the office, and holds a bag to the entering Nikita. She notches her head to the side, in puzzlement.

"Madeline dropped this by..." Michael says opening the bag to Nikita. Nikita sticks her hand in and feels the pieces of black tape in little chunks.

"It feels like confetti... what is it, Michael?" Nikita asks softly.

"The tapes." Michael says with a smile. Nikita pulls a hand up from the bag, and easily throws the confetti tape all over the office. Nikita giggles as the confetti circles in the air. Michael grins back at her. Quickly, Nikita grabs the bag and runs.

"NIKITA! DON'T DO THAT! NIKITA!" Michael calls out after Nikita.

Nikita runs to the computers, and throws a handful in the air. "GO AWAY!!!" Nikita giggles as Birkoff angerily looks at Nikita. Michael is about to grab the bag, when Nikita steps to the side, and dashes again.

"Michael.. what kind of game..." Birkoff starts to say, but Michael continues the chase.

"I never felt so free! Michael! Free! No more tapes!" Nikita calls out as she throws some back at Michael.

"NIKITA! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP!" Michael calls out. Nikita stops and waits for Michael to catch up. She throws the bag up in the air, and the rest of the confetti tape floats in the air. Nikita grabs Michael for a kiss, and Anna giggles from Walter's office.



menubar1 The Split Personality Title Page La Femme Nikita Main Menu Authors Index Ranma 1/2 Lynx Page

Send suggestions and comments to ranma.
OR
If you would like to send a comment to Nikita507, click HERE!!