ATTENTION: Stories marked with an * may contain material which would be better appreciated by those over 18. Parental Discretion is advised. This is your responsibility, not ours.

"Oreo Surprize"



Birkoff sits at his computer and his hand moves towards the bag of oreos. The hand moves inside the bag, and only feels crumbs left inside the plastic bag. The tips of Birkoff's fingers not even feeling enough of a crumb to put in his mouth.

Instantly, Birkoff looks down to his hand and pulls the bag up to his face. The other hand reaches over, crumbles the bag and throws it into the trash can.

"I NEED MORE!" Birkoff screams irrated. He opens the desk drawer, and finds the usually stash, gone. He slams the door shut loudly and stands up.

A few operatives, who unluckly got stuck working the night shift with Birkoff, look up at Birkoff's movements. He keeps his eyes on the computer screen as he moves to the next desk and opens it's drawer. Finding the usual oreos missing from it's spot, Birkoff slams the drawer again.

"WATCH THAT SCREEN!" Birkoff yells at an operative sitting the closest to his computer. The operative moves his chair over to the computer and stares at the screen.

Birkoff methodically starts to rumble through all of the desks. Each drawer gets slammed harder and harder.

"WHERE ARE ALL THE DAMN OREO'S!" Birkoff screams as he walks into Michael's and Nikita's office. Since Birkoff found out that Michael was partial to the black cookie with the white creme filling, Birkoff had the opportunity to stash some of his private stock in their office. Birkoff moves to their closet and finds the box empty. He runs to the garabage can and finds empty oreo bags filling it. Birkoff carries the can with him and throws it towards his desk as he turns down the hall.

"I NEED OREOS! NOW!" Birkoff screams as he trudges into Walter's workspace. He moves to the little desk that holds the computer that is used when Nikita's tooth is being used. Birkoff knows that those oreo's may be a little stale... but they are oreos. Yet, he finds not even a crumb!

*

The pounding on the door wakes Madeline quickly. She jumps out of bed and runs towards the door. She is wearing a long black tee shirt and a pair of pink sweatpants with "FLORIDA" written down the leg.

"Birkoff, what is the matter?" Madeline asks as she opens the door and sees Birkoff's red face.

"I'm out of oreos.. I need them now!" Birkoff says with a fit of rage flying across his eyes. Madeline blinks and shakes her head.

"*THIS* is about OREOS!!!" Madeline says with a hint of rage in her voice.

"THERE ARE NONE IN SECTION! WHO ATE THEM! MICHAEL ATE MY PRIVATE STASH AND I CAN'T WORK ALL NIGHT WITHOUT THEM!" Birkoff screams.

"Birkoff, then call Michael if he ate them!" Madeline says shutting the door in his face.

Madeline moves to her kitchen, takes out the two oreos she had been saving and quickly eats them. She carefully wipes the crumbs off of her lips and goes back to bed.

************

Birkoff sits in his chair tapping his fingers on the empty bag. He looks up at his screen and begins to look into the bugs. He looks at the kitchen bugs to be exact. "SO what if Michael promised to bring some in an hour from now... I need them now!" Birkoff mutters as he cruises through the kitchens.

Kitchen after kitchen, dirty dish after dirty dish, Birkoff looks at them all, until he hits the motherload. "CRAP! THERE THEY ALL ARE!" Birkoff screams as he jumps up from his chair. He glances at the screen and sees that the kitchen belongs to Elana.

Madeline, now fully awake, because of Birkoff's oreo temper tantrum, is walking down the hall as Birkoff runs down it. Madeline shakes her head lightly, and smiles. HE must have found some poor operative's stash.

*

Birkoff slams into Elana's quarters and then stops dead in his tracks. Off to the right sits all of the bags of oreos, minus those that Michael ate, on the kitchen counter. But that is not what makes Birkoff stop.

"Hello, Birkoff... I thought that that might get your attention." Elana says with a large smile, and Birkoff's eyes expand larger at her black teddie.

"Ah... ah... ah..." Birkoff stampers around, being torn between two things he desparately wants.

Elana pulls her hand out from behind her back, and shows Birkoff the oreo in it. She lifts the oreo to eye level and steps back slowly. Birkoff walks with her every movement. Birkoff slowly unbuttons his shirt, and heaves it to the floor, leaving only his tee shirt on.

"Do you want this Birkoff?" Elana teases as she waves the oreo in front of Birkoff's panting mouth. He lightly nods yes, and Elana reaches out with her other hand and strokes his pants. "Well.... I want something else... to supply the cream filling..." Elana says and then licks her lips.

"DEAL!" Birkoff says, pulling the oreo out of her hand, and quickly landing on the bed with Elana.

************

"Michael.. I drove you around the city.. I begged to a man to give me a bag of oreos... I offered fifty dollars for one damn bag of oreos... and I'm tired. I DIDN'T EVEN EAT ONE!" Nikita whines as Michael holds her hand tightly as he walks down the dark Section One hallways.

"I am not telling Birkoff that the only way I can get oreos is if we take down an oreo factory alone." Michael mutters as he looks at the computers and the messes on the desks.

"Please tell me that you brought oreos!" an operative yells as he sees Michael and Nikita.

"The entire city is out of them. I am going to contact some of our substations and get them sent in." Michael mutters as he moves to the office, surprized that Birkoff hasn't tracked him down yet.

*

Birkoff munches away on the oreos as Elana smiles in pleasure.

"You really supplied the cream..." Elana coos as she rubs Birkoff's arm lightly.

"Let me eat some more, and I'll show you some more!" Birkoff says with a light kiss on Elana's cheek and then rubbing her chest roughly.

*

"Maybe he is in Elana's quarters?" Nikita says lightly, as Michael drags her from door to door, searching down Birkoff, to tell him that his oreos will be there in about an hour.

Michael drops Nikita's arm and runs down the hall and opens the door. "OREOS! WHAT THE F!@#" Michael yells and Nikita runs down the hall, to be met by another scream. "OH MY GOD! I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT!" Michael screams as he walks back towards Nikita, but not before Nikita sees Birkoff on top of Elana.

"GO BIRKEY!" Nikita laughs as Michael tries to drag her out of the room, but Madeline turns the corner and shuts the door.

"Michael, why are we airlifting in oreos if Elana has them all." Madeline demands, not noticing the shuffling around in the bedroom.

"Madeline... I think we should discuss this outside in the hallway..." Nikita says as she tries to move towards the door.

Then Elana runs out of the bedroom in a robe, and Birkoff runs out fully clothed, but with the glow of the aftermath. Madeline takes a double take and opens the door and walks out.

Madeline walks down the hallway, enters Walter's quarters and slips into his bed. Tomorrow, Madeline will deal with Birkoff's obsession over the oreos... it is causing to many problems.



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