The room was dark and without windows. The room was small, almost like a closet.

Suddenly the door opens, and a taper candle lights the room. The air is cold and the candle moves closer and closer to the body that cowers in the corner.

“Mommie.. please...” the voice pleads as the hands are brought protectively in front of the face. Trying to hide the eyes, but still able to see the movement.

The mom, with straight black hair, pulled in a tight bun, leans down. Her teeth are yellow and very crooked. She is missing one of the teeth, just to right of the center. Her pupils are large in the gray eyes.

“You have been a bad boy....” The mom hisses as she brings the flame down near her face. The candle casts shadows into her face, and tint it orange. She looked like a frightening jack o’latern.

The warmth is felt on the arms and the body flinches backwards, trying to crawl into the plastered wall.

“MOMMIE! Please... It wasn’t me! It was my brother!!!” the voice tries to plead back, knowing that only hurt and pain was to come.

“Shut up, Stupid!” Mom screams as she moves the flame closer to the arms. The arms start to hurt as hot wax drips down onto the skin. It runs down the small forearms until cooled.

“YOU NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! GO INTO MY ROOM! DO YOU UNDERSTAND???” Mom screams as she sets the candle away. Cold air rushes in and relieves the tired lungs, wanting fresh air.

“Mommie... please!!” the voice wails as the arms start failing around, in an attempt to protect the body.

No more hurting.

No more pain.

“JOHN!” Mommie screams and the body stops moving.

“Please, Mommie.. please.. I will be a good boy.. please.. keep daddie away.. Please..” the voice begs as the light snaps into the hallway.

“What did he do?” The voice bellows from the hallway.

“Hit and kicked me.” Mommie says as she stands up.

Daddie rushes in and picks up the arms.

Shaking and shaking.

Slamming and slamming.

Punching and punching.

*

The blonde hair sits up wildly as Nikita sits up gasping for air. Her body trembling with the trauma of the dream. She sets her arms out to steady her body. Her eyes adjust to the low light in her room as she tries to calm her body down.

“No mommie... no... no...” Nikita mutters as she forces her eyes to stay open. She shoulders protectively supporting her head and neck. She is sitting as if waiting to be hit.

Nikita looks into the mirror in her room and looks around. The dream stuck in her head, vivid as it was the first time.

“That’s not my mom......Whose mom was that?” Nikita murmurs in horror. She stands up and rushes to the bathroom. She washes her face with water.

She turns back to her room and looks at the clock. It was only two. Nikita sits on the edge of her bed and closes her eyes in frustration.

“How many more will I have?” Nikita whispers into the night air.

***********

Nikita walks into Section One with her hair pulled back in a loose pony tail. Her face is clean and natural, as her clothes are a simple black. Nikita moves without a smile, into Walter’s workspace. She moves to the corner and picks up the coffee pot.

Nikita pulls out a large mocha cup and fills it slowly with the steaming out black coffee. Nikita picks it up and holds it in-between her hands. She takes in the aroma first, before opening her eyes and taking a sip.

“Sugar, I thought you drank tea.” Walter says as he walks into the scene. He looks at the cup and looks back at Nikita. She sits it on the table and looks at Walter. He watches her smile slowly be forced out.

“I need the kick this morning.” Nikita comments as she rolls her shoulders back. Walter looks at Nikita and looks at the mocha cup.

“That’s a lot of coffee for anyone, let alone you, Sugar.” Walter says with a smile back. Nikita genuinely smiles at Walter as she reaches for another sip.

Walter studies Nikita. She has been awfully quiet for the week. He had known about the fight between Michael and Nikita. Nikita willingly told him all. That was three weeks ago. The only thing that had changed between Michael and Nikita was that Michael had started to use a new woman operative to pose as his wife. It was a direct blow to Nikita. Yet, she seemed unaffected.

“Everything all right, Sugar?” Walter asks as Nikita stares off somewhere near the wall. Nikita turns her head back to Walter and again, forces the smile.

“Everything is fine, Walter.” Nikita says as she again rolls her shoulders around. Walter nods his head. Nikita glances at her watch and looks back at Walter.

“I have a briefing.” Nikita says matter-of-factly. Walter knew Nikita did not want to go to the briefing. Walter sets down the gun and looks at Nikita.

“You get to meet Matthew. He is working this mission.” Walter says and Nikita turns her head in interest.

“Who is this Matthew?” Nikita inquires with a sparkle in her eyes. Walter smirks at Nikita.

“He is very talented. He has been working out of another part of Section for the past four years.” Walter says. He almost added that Michael knew him, but decided not too.

“That isn’t telling me anything, Walter. I heard that he is psychic.” Nikita says as she leans in further. She licks her lips and looks at Walter with a wink. Walter feels his heartbeat race and sighs.

“He isn’t psychic. He is an expert of phenomena like that.” Walter says as he turns from Nikita. He was not surprised when Nikita grabbed his arm and pulled him back around.

“Why is everyone intrigued about him, Walter. What aren’t you telling me?” Nikita asks and Walter gazes into her bright blue eyes. Walter can’t withstand the pressure. Nikita always had that over him.

“He can read people better than Madeline.” Walter says, and Nikita pulls away as if she is touching a flame. She turns her head picks up the coffee.

“In a good way, Nikita.” Walter finishes. Nikita was uneasy now, and she looked at her watch again.

“Oops, three minutes late!” Nikita calls out as she starts out the door, but in no real rush. Walter shakes his head and watches Nikita’s stroll. Walter knew something was wrong but couldn’t identify it.

Nikita moved into the briefing room, and walks to the end of the table. Her eyes only briefing touch the area surrounding Michael. He was seated in the middle, and Nikita was relieved that she didn’t have to sit next to him.

“I knew to leave that seat for you.” Matthew says from the seat next to Michael. Nikita sets her mocha cup on the table, that everyone noticed, and slowly sits down.

Nikita took her time to study the man known as Matthew. He was older than she had expected, but also much more handsome than she expected. He had broad shoulders, and a deep golden glow to his skin. His jet black hair was sprinkled with hairs of silverish gray. He had gray eyes that penetrated into anyone’s gaze.

“I also knew that you would be exactly four minutes late.” Matthew says and Nikita listens to the voice again. Unlike Madeline, his voice is made out of emotion. Each word had it’s own inflection of emotion that made it different from the others. Nikita smiled at the notes of variety in the room. His voice was music while Madeline’s was beat.

Matthew looks at Operations. He is still scanning information from Birkoff’s intel. Matthew turns his body towards Nikita and looks at her. He can tell much. More than Nikita even grasped at in her own mind.

“I will ask you the question that Michael wants to ask...” Matthew says slowly. He can hear Michael’s mouth drops a minuscule behind him, and he watches Nikita’s eyes ever so little grow bigger.

“Why the coffee? Don’t you drink tea?” Matthew says with a smile that shows his extremely white teeth. Nikita laughs gently. Matthew knew what both operatives feared would come out of his mouth. He wouldn’t do something like that to these special two.

“I need it this morning.” Nikita says with a smile.

“You’ve needed it all week.” Michael retorts and Nikita glares at Michael as he stares at Operations.

“Why would you care? I have been in the van for the past week!” Nikita says sharply back.

“He doesn’t think highly of the operative that he is working with, Nikita. He is just to proud and stubborn to admit to Operations that he was wrong about her and ask for you back.” Matthew says as he looks into Nikita’s crystal blue eyes.

Matthew is pulled to those eyes. They reveal so much. How could have Madeline missed so much? Matthew looks further and further into those eyes. He pulls his attention back as he hears Madeline’s voice bark at him.

“That is what you feel?” Madeline asks Matthew sharply.

“That is what I know.” Matthew says as he lowers his head and looks into Madeline’s eyes. Madeline pulls her head up and looks at Michael.

“Helen is off your team as of this moment.” Madeline says and Michael stares at Matthew. Nikita picks up her coffee and pretends not look at Matthew, but looks over the edge at him. How did he know? How did he know?

***********

The tile floor was smooth and cold underneath the crying body. Pushed against a wood door, with a short curtain on top of the little window.

“DO YOU LIKE BANGING ON THINGS!!! MAKING NOISE!!!!” Mommie screams loudly with a sauce pan in her shaking hand. She bangs it against the green counter top and the body turns towards the door. The noise echoes through the house and the little kitchen.

“BANG! BANG! BANG! DO YOU LIKE THAT???” Mommie screams as she moves closer and closer to the trembling body, continuing to beat the pan against items.

“WHAT ABOUT THIS?” Mommie asks angrily as she whips the pan over the arms that covers the face.

“NO! MOMMIEEEE!!!! JUST WANTED TO HAVE FUN!! NO! NO! NO! PLEASE!!!” The voice screams out as the arms sting in hot pain.

Mommie steps back and spits towards the floor. She then flings the pan down, and it hits the bare feet with a harsh clank. The feet try to move underneath the body even more.

“DAMN YOU! YOU STUPID STUPID BOY! YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING! STUPID!” Mommie screams as she opens the cupboard door and looks inside. She picks up a china dish.

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO BANG THIS?” Mommie asks as she throws the dish down in front of the body.

“MOOOOMMMMMIEEEE!!! I AM SORRY!!! I WILL SHUT THE DOOR QUIETER NEXT TIME!!!” The voice screams back as it feels the little scratches of the flying china made on the body. The eyes look down to the bare legs, that now turn red with the trauma.

“WHAT ABOUT THIS?” Mommie asks as she throws another dish down.

“AND THIS ONE!”

“OH.. AND THIS BIG BIG PLATTER!”

“HOW ABOUT SOME GLASSES!!!”

“Mommie... mommmie.... please... please mommie... love you.... mommie I love you... please..stop...” the voice pleads out, but is not heard.

*

“MOMMMIE... I LOVE YOU!!!” Nikita cries out as she clenches onto her bed sheets and sits up in bed. Her eyes can’t open, and Nikita trembles in fear.

She continues to hear the crashing and breaking. It won’t stop for the five seconds that Nikita can’t open her eyes.

The blue eyes pop open to show the stress in Nikita’s body. She tries to calm down.

“Not my mom..... it’s not my mom...” Nikita says slowly in gasps as her body is still tense in a ball position. Her body rocks back and forth, as Nikita forces her body down.

Finally, her fingers uncurl and show the ridges produced by her fingernails into her palms. Nikita looks at her hands and closes her eyes.

“They aren’t going to end.” Nikita says sadly. She stands up and walks to the kitchen. It was time to stay awake, after a mere hour of sleep.

***********

Nikita held her mocha cup in her right hand as she turned the corner. The hallway was dark except for the one solitude light coming from the office at the end. She had followed the aroma down this way, and was not going to leave without a filled cup of coffee.

She had never been to this part of Section One before. Nikita moved quietly and poked her head into the tiny office. It was clean and sparse. The coffee maker was on the table, just behind the desk and chairs. That was all.

Nikita quickly picked up the pot of coffee and filled her mocha cup with the steaming caffeine filled drink. She grasped her hands around it and slowly raised it to her lips.

“More coffee?” Matthew asks as he walks into the office. Nikita lowers the cup and turns around. She nods her head and turns back to her coffee.

“Why don’t you sit down, Nikita?” Matthew says as he takes his own cup and fills it, not quite as high as Nikita. Nikita sets her cup down on the desk and sits down. Matthew takes his place and smiles at Nikita. He takes a sip and then sets the cup down. Slowly, he folds his hands and studies Nikita.

The signs of her tiredness where on her face, as it was on the mission the day before. Matthew looked to the desk and then back at Nikita.

“Are you feeling ok?” Matthew asks. Nikita smiles.

“I have recovered from my illness.” Nikita replies. It had been over five weeks since Madeline had given her the virus. It felt more like months.

“I wasn’t talking about that. An hour of sleep is not a lot, especially for an operative.” Matthew says calmly as he picks his cup up again for a sip. Nikita leans back in the chair and stares at him.

“Nikita, you can trust me. I know things about everyone in Section that they don’t even know.” Matthew says with a genuine smile. Nikita turns her head and picks up the mocha cup and sips her coffee.

“What is your job here?” Nikita asks slowly. She had this innate feeling to trust Matthew, but it was the Section groomed instinct to question him.

“I do what Madeline cannot. I have studied phenomena all of my life.” Matthew says as he tilts his head to Nikita. Nikita nods her head and crosses her legs. It was an instant sign that Nikita had gained a bit of trust with Matthew.

“So, can I ask you a hypothetical question?” Nikita asks as she leans to take her cup again. Matthew grabs her hand and pulls the cup away.

“No more coffee. What is your question?” Matthew says as he looks to the cup. Nikita looks at the wall and grins.

“It’s ridiculous... but hypothetically, can someone have someone else’s dreams?” Nikita asks as she turns back to look at the face of Matthew.

“Yes. Rare, but yes.” Matthew says. “So, how long have you been having these dreams, Nikita?”

“I said hypothetically. I don’t dream.” Nikita says smartly with a forced smile. The eyes drop a tiny bit and Matthew raises his hands in a non treating movement.

“So, how could this happen?” Nikita asks as she leans forward to gain the information. She needed to know.

“Well, one theory is based on the biology of the brain. Most of what occurs up there is based off a flow of electrons and therefore electricity. The theory is that we are close to people all day and that we gain their electrons and they gain ours.” Matthew explains as he molds his hands in the shape of the brain.

“But then this wouldn’t be rare.” Nikita counters. Matthew nods his head in agreement.

“I feel that it is something else. It is like a transmission of feelings that need to be expressed. Not god like, but something along that lines. Almost like destiny or fate makes you have these dreams.” Matthew says. He does not see any reaction from Nikita with the use of you. If she did, he would have been wrong about her. Matthew knew he wasn’t.

“Like karmic debt?” Nikita questions with a raised eyebrow.

“No. It’s different, and rarely heard of.” Matthew says.

Nikita glances at her watch and shakes her head. She pulls her body up from the chair and looks to Matthew.

“I have a briefing in three.” Nikita states, but doesn’t sound like she wants to leave.

“You are never early. Always late.” Matthew says as he stands up and leans against the wall. He places his hands inside his pockets and smiles at Nikita.

“You do it because of Michael. So he doesn’t seem to have control over you.” Matthew says. He watches Nikita’s eyes expand, to be quickly pulled back to normal.

“That’s not true.” Nikita says as her hands start to tighten in defense.

“You and Michael work well together. There is a bond there.” Matthew says as he pulls his hands out of his pockets.

“That’s not true. He is my trainer. That is why we work well together.” Nikita says firmly. Nikita looks at her watch and turns from Matthew. Nikita is usually only a few minutes late for a briefing. She had learned extremely early what occurs if she is later.

“Nikita!” Matthew calls out. Nikita turns around and Matthew is instantly close to her. He looks deep into her eyes and Nikita’s heart starts to beat quicker in fear.

“There was a bond there before the boat.” Matthew says.

The air in Nikita’s lungs can’t come out. There was no way that Matthew could know about the boat. Nikita tries to stop her bottom lip from trembling, but finds it almost impossible. Nikita bits at the lip and raises her chin.

“What boat?” Nikita says in defiance. He had to be bluffing. No one knew. No one knew.

Matthew stared into her eyes. She was testing him. He hovered around her body but did not touch her. His eyes penetrating into Nikita’s. This challenge was an easy one.

“The one that you meet Michael when Section thought you were dead... The one that Michael held you...” Matthew starts slowly. Nikita steps back and shakes her head.

“Enough.” Nikita trembles out. Her body is one the verge of a meltdown. All that she use to understand was gone. How could Matthew know?

“Go ahead. Ask your question. How do I know?” Matthew says as he moves closer to Nikita again. He watches her entire body tense at the motion.

“It’s in your eyes, Nikita.” Matthew says, and he brushes pass Nikita. Nikita looks at the empty office and allows her mouth to hang in shock. Matthew stops at the door and looks at Nikita’s back. She was so strong, but had to learn to accept the help. The next week would teach her that in time.

“You are special, Nikita. I am here to help the special people.” Matthew says as he runs a hand across the door.

“And to answer your question, so is Michael.” Matthew says softly as he turns and walks away.

**********

“Nikita, my office.” Michael bellows as Nikita walks down the hallway after a long mission. She rolls her head back and trudges off to Michael’s office.

She enters and stands near the door. Michael slides the panel out and punches his code as he slides into his chair. Michael raises his head, and some hair flies loose from behind his ear.

“Shut the door, Nikita.” Michael says firmly. Nikita rolls her eyes and pushes the door close with a slam. She stands still and stares at Michael. She was too stubborn to make this easy on him.

“And sit down.” Michael says as his green eyes glare at Nikita. Nikita moves forward, slumps into the chair and throws her head off to the side. Michael stares at the behavior for a few moments and leans back into his chair.

“You are not performing well on the field, Nikita.” Michael says as his green eyes again stare at Nikita. His stare seems to be reflected off of her, as Nikita does not move to look at him.

“I have wanted to place you into a position on the field that is less demanding until you decide to fully participate during the mission.” Michael says and Nikita’s eyes shoot to Michael.

“What was wrong with this mission, Michael? What was wrong? I did as told, and got out. What was wrong?” Nikita finally fires back angrily. Her nostrils flare out a tiny bit and Michael raises his chin.

“One of the guards were not entirely dead. You missed the shot.” Michael says and Nikita stands up and slams her hands against his desk.

“This is unreal, Michael! UNREAL! You are upset because Matthew and Madeline placed me back at your side!” Nikita says. Nikita shakes her head and sits back down still in disbelief.

“I want to know about your connection with Matthew. You seem to know each other well.” Michael says and Nikita laughs as the suggestion.

“I met him yesterday, Michael.” Nikita says in disgust of Michael.

“You meet with him this morning.” Michael says firmly.

“He hijacked the coffee.” Nikita says as her eyes narrow tightly.

“Why do you want to be positioned with me if you have this intense hatred for me, Nikita?” Michael finally asks. It was the question that was bugging him.

“Because I like to know who is standing next to me. I like to know who I am keeping from being killed. I like to know that it is a higher possibility that the person next to me will protect me too.” Nikita says truthfully, but in a spiteful voice.

“Then as the person, I am going to warn you. Stay away from Matthew.” Michael says and Nikita looks up in disbelief yet again.

“No. I think he is good, Michael.” Nikita says as she stands up and looks out through the blinds.

“Nikita, he is dangerous. Not to be played around with.” Michael says as he stands up.

“I don’t think so.” Nikita says with a smile on her face.

“THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE SO TIRED!!!” Michael screams. He can not take it anymore. Nikita’s bags were hidden with make up, but they were there. Nikita was downing coffee like he never seen Nikita. He had episode in his life where sleep was precious, but even Michael knew not to this extreme.

“Why do you care, Michael?” Nikita challenges. Michael takes a deep breathe and stares at Nikita. He pulls the panel out and opens the circuits again.

“Go home, Nikita. Get some sleep.” Michael orders.

“That was what I was doing when you stopped me!” Nikita rudely says and she hurries out of the office.

Michael rubs his face in disbelief and shakes his head. He pulls out the orange post it note and stares at it.

“Michael.... The lioness doesn’t sleep in the jungle tonight. Matthew.”

**********

The pressure on the back was intense. The arms wailing far behind the head.

Water.

Water, deep and cold.

Water all around, not able to breathe.

Barely able to kick and move arms. Feeling detached.

Pushing back. Pushing up.

Being held down. Being held down.

Suddenly pulled from the water. The toilet bowl swirls around in the eyes. Bordering on the unconscious. Needing to stay awake.

“NO MOMMIE!” the voice echoes out as the toilet water runs into the mouth and down the throat.

The stomach lurches at the taste. It tries to purge.

Arms flailing against the hands around the back of the neck. Legs kicking at Mamma’s legs that straddles the small body.

“Please, Mommie. I be a good boy!” the voice cries out. Pleading and pleading as she starts to push down again.

“You are never good, stupid!” Mommie hisses as the face breaks the surface of the water. Being pushed in deeper.

Not able to breathe.

Wanting out.

Not able to breathe.

Needing out.

*

Nikita sits up in bed and gasps for airs as if she was held under the water. Her eyes stay shut as she lets the tears of fright roll down. But to Nikita’s the tears aren’t tears. The tears are water from the toilet.

“No mommie... no more... no more...” Nikita pleads as she places her hands in front of her and slowly forces her eyes shut.

“Nikita.” A voice says clearly.

Nikita turns in horror and finds that her nightmare is just beginning. Sitting in the corner, on a pile of unorganized books is Michael, dressed in black. His eyes stare at Nikita as she shakes her head.

It was overwhelming what she was going through. She places her hands to the side and shakes her head even more.

“Get out.” Nikita says tensely as the images still plague her mind. She balls her hands up into fists and lets little yelps out. She had tried to suppressed them with Michael being there, but they escaped and echoed in the room.

Nikita slowly counts to ten. She pauses and turns to find Michael, still in the same place. He stares at Nikita and pulls out his cell phone.

“I am going to call Madeline.” Michael says. Nikita leaps out of bed, in her drenched shorts and T-shirt and grabs the cell phone. She heaves it across the room and moves away from Michael.

This reaction makes Michael stand up and follow behind Nikita. She was pacing with her head hung low. Michael wondered how long this has been going on. It explained a lot to Michael.

“Nikita, how long have you been having these nightmares?” Michael asks firmly as he physically turns Nikita around with his hand. Nikita stares at him and steps back.

“First one.” Nikita says with a nervous smile. She looks at Michael and looks back to her bed.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave?” Nikita questions as she stares at Michael. Michael stands still.

“I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT!” Nikita sharply screams. Michael frowns and moves to her door. He looks at Nikita and sighs. She needs help and soon. Michael couldn’t make out the words that Nikita mumbled during the dream, but the fright and the pain where in every whimper. It flashed Michael back to memories of his own crippling dreams.

“Get some sleep, Nikita.” Michael says as he slowly exits her bedroom. Nikita flops back down on the bed. Her head feels like a bowling ball. She closes her eyes with the intentions on waking back up to make sure Michael had totally left her apartment. That never occurs.

**********

The white toilet bowl is vibrating to the eyes. It seems to get closer and closer and then further and further. The body feels the hands trying to push down against the weak neck. It gives.

Plunged back in.

Water everywhere. Black drain staring back at the eyes.

Pulled back out.

“Please Mommie... NO!!” The voice begs as it spits out the water from the mouth.

The arms come around front, pushing to keep the head up. The hands around the neck push harder.

The white toilet bowl coming closer.

BANG!

Head against solid material.

The white toilet bowl stained with blood.

“OOOOWWWWWHHHHH! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! MOMMIE STOP!!! MOMMIE STOP!!!” The voice screams out in pain.

The hands push forward and connect again. Harder.

“NO! MOMMIE! YOU ARE GOING TO KILL ME!! STOP MOMMIE!!” the voice begs again.

The hands that stopped the plunge back into the water hold the cut. The hands around the neck start to punch the back.

Continually.

Not caring.

The body bleeding.

Nothing done.

*

Michael enters the bedroom and walks to the bathroom. Nikita is sitting on the bed, shaking. Her hands are tightly holding her forehead as she mutters.

“Stop... Mommie.. no.. hurts... hurts...” Nikita mutters as Michael walks back to Nikita’s bed. He touches her shoulder, but she continues to shake.

She is half awake and half asleep. She cries in pain and torture. Michael finally grabs Nikita’s entire body and stops her motions.

Michael hands Nikita the wet cloth and she places it on her perfect forehead. Michael waits.

“I told you to go home.” Nikita says as she opens her eyes. She continues to shake, but stares firmly at Michael.

“Nikita, you were only a sleep for ten minutes. I heard your screams. What is going on?” Michael says as he stands up from her bed.

“Go home, Michael.” Nikita says firmly.

“These nightmares... cause you not to sleep.” Michael says as he pushes his hands deep into his pockets.

“I’ll be fine, Michael. GO HOME!” Nikita responds as she looks at Michael. Michael stares back. He starts to pace back and forth.

“Of your childhood?” Michael asks and Nikita rolls her head back in tiredness and frustration.

“I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT!” Nikita says in a loud voice, one the edge of a scream.

“Of your mother beating you up?” Michael continues. Nikita looks away from Michael.

“You need to talk to Madeline.” Michael says and Nikita stares at him. They both knew what talking to Madeline meant. Nikita was not going to risk her mental health over a few silly dreams.

“It is nothing, Michael. GET OUT!” Nikita says relentless in her attempt to rid her apartment of Michael.

“What do you really want? To escape the memories? Revenge? What do you really want, Nikita?” Michael asks concerned of what Nikita was going through.

“What I really want is for you to get out of my apartment and forget telling anyone about me! That is what I really want!” Nikita says firmly.

Michael turns and leaves. If Nikita was going to continue to suffer, then she might as well do it by herself. Michael seemed to have no effect on her at all.

***********

Michael leans against the wall of the Section van as it rides smoothly down a road. Matthew is sitting next to Birkoff, and Nikita, is sitting on the opposite side.

She is asleep.

And still holding coffee.

Michael glances at the other operatives. No one makes the move to take the cup of coffee from Nikita’s hand. That might have something to do with that Nikita snapped at them all before the mission. Michael moves towards Nikita.

Hot coffee and sleeping didn’t mix well.

Michael pulls the cup from her hand and looks at her. He absently runs his hand down the side of her cheek. He was glad to see Nikita sleeping. It just wasn’t the appropriate time.

Michael stashes the cup and goes back to his wall. Michael hasn’t even seen Matthew standing up from his seat. Michael stares at Nikita as Matthew slowly approaches Michael.

“I would wake her soon.” Matthew says and Michael turns to stare at him. Michael knew Matthew, and still did not trust him or his ways.

“Why?” Michael challenges Matthew in the over protective way that Michael only has when it comes to Nikita. Michael does not pulls his attention from Nikita as she slowly stirs.

“She isn’t in the dream part of sleep.” Matthew says as he walks half way across the van and looks at Nikita closer.

“It is either now, or afterwards... but I think that now would be appropriate.” Matthew says as he turns and goes back to his seat.

Michael pushes his hair back and stares at Nikita. He does not want Nikita to have an episode on the van that she had in her own room. Michael looks back to Matthew. He knew. Somehow, he knew.

“Nikita... wake up...” Michael whispers as he gently strokes Nikita’s cheek again. The blue eyes flutter and shut quickly. Slowly she looks totally around. She then shuts them tightly.

“Leave me alone, Michael.” Nikita mutters as Michael shakes at her arm more. Nikita does open her eyes and her body instantly stands up.

“How far from target?” Nikita questions and Birkoff replies instantly. Nikita shake her head out of the cobwebs.

Michael watches Nikita walk around the van in a lethargic way. Michael moves to the computers and stares.

“Hudson, you will replace Nikita. Nikita will stay back on the perimeter.” Michael orders and Nikita instantly turns red.

“I will go with you. I will not be replaced!” Nikita demands loudly. Michael stares at her.

“You can not handle the job in your exhausted state.” Michael says and Nikita places her hands on her hips.

“ONCE A MISSION IS STARTED THE ONLY DEVIATION IS THAT OF AN ABORT!” Nikita quotes from the many speeches that Operations regularly gives.

“I decide that you risk the mission.” Michael says and Nikita turns close to him.

“I am going in with you.” Nikita hisses. Matthew stands up and separates the two from each other. Given any other situation, Matthew would think a different situation would occur.

“Nikita is correct, Michael.” Matthew says and Michael shakes his head. He can not believe this. It is all uncalled for.

“Nikita, study the PDA.” Michael orders. Nikita picks up the device and starts to review the information.

Matthew walks Michael to the corner.

“She is tired.” Michael complains.

“All will be all right.” Matthew says with a confident smile.

“She puts this mission at risk.” Michael argues.

“She is studying the PDA. Are you?” Matthew counters.

“Can she handle this mission?” Michael asks.

“This is like a stroll in the park. Don’t worry.” Matthew says and goes back to his seat.

Michael looks at Nikita. She is struggling to keep her eyes open. Michael thinks of the nightmare that he saw her having. He had some intense nightmares in his pass, but he could almost tell, that they were nothing like Nikita's.

**************

Holding on tightly to the branch of wood.

The ground of green grass below.

Tears running down the body’s face.

“YOU GET DOWN HERE YOU STUPID BOY! RIGHT THIS MINUTE!” Mommie screams from below. She looks up into the tree.

The hands reach out for a branch higher yet. Grabbing and pulling the body further and further away from Mommie.

“JOHN! GET YOUR STUPID BOY OUT OF THAT TREE!” Mommie screams and the eyes look back down.

Daddie runs out of the house with an ax in hand. The eyes then look at Mommie.

“NO! MOMMIE! YOU WILL KILL ME!” The voice screams in terror. Daddie raises the ax up in the air and shakes it as some branches. It causes the tree to wiggle.

“THAT WOULD BE A MIRACLE!” Daddie screams as he lowers the ax into the tree.

The hands hold on tighter. Not letting go.

“STOP! STOP!” the voice screams.

Daddie continues to chop.

The tree breaks.

Falling.

The hands pull away from the branch.

Falling.

Towards the ground.

Falling.

*

“NIKITA, WAKE UP!” Michael screams for the fifth time as he screams three inches from her face. Suddenly, the blue eyes pop open.

“Nikita, I am going to call Madeline.” Michael says as he steps back and lets Nikita’s sitting body go. She makes no response, and Michael pulls out the cell phone.

Nikita grabs his harm tightly, as her finger nails dig into the muscle and stare at Michael with her red-rimmed eyes. She waits as Michael turns to her.

“Don’t.” Nikita says, almost in the same begging voice he heard from Nikita in the dream. Michael flips the phone down and Nikita pulls her body away. She slides back against the head board, shaking from the dream still.

“Why shouldn’t I, Nikita? Give me a reason.” Michael challenges as he sits down on the bed, trying to hide his own shaking.

“Because I asked you too.” Nikita trembles out as she stares at her hands. She blinks her eyes and shakes her head.

“That isn’t a reason.” Michael responds. Nikita stares at him and looks back to the headboard.

“She will think I am crazy and cancel me.” Nikita responds as she grabs hold of the head board. She won’t let go, and Michael stares at Nikita’s behavior. He wouldn’t say that she was crazy, maybe a little unstable, but not crazy.

“She would not do that if Operations says not too.” Michael says. He knows what Nikita had thought about Madeline since Madeline gave her the virus. He is surprised that Nikita has not given that for a reason. It only proved to Michael how Nikita wasn’t thinking rationally. Maybe she was just too tired to think now.

“Still not a reason. She would rather help you before retraining another operative to four years.” Michael says as he moves closer to Nikita. She shakes her head and looks away from Michael.

“FINE! THEY ARE NOT MY DREAMS!” Nikita screams out as she looks up at the ceiling. Michael pulls his head back and looks at Nikita.

“Not your dreams?” Michael asks in shock and confusement.

“Someone else’s, Michael. I never knew my father... I never had my own bedroom. THESE AREN’T MY DREAMS!” Nikita cries out.

She pulls away further to the headboard. Michael stands up. It would explain his questions about the dreams he had heard. Michael knew Nikita didn’t know her father, and had assumed that the ‘father’ in the dream was just another of her mother’s boyfriends.

“GET OUT!” Nikita says firmly as she plants her feet on the ground. She stands up and moves to her bedroom door. She looks at Michael and he slowly moves out.

“Nikita, let me stay here tonight, with you.” Michael says and Nikita firmly looks into Michael’s eyes.

“GET OUT!” Nikita says. “I should have never told you.” Nikita finishes. She walks to the stairs and watches Michael exit her apartment.

Nikita knew he would probably only come back later, or stay somewhere to keep an eye on her. She could not do anything about that. All she had control over was when she went back to sleep or didn’t. She wasn’t going to allow Michael to wake her from another nightmare.

***********

Matthew sits in his office at the computer. He looks at the papers on his desk for a reference, and continues to type. He can feel the man walking down the hallway, although he is not heard. Matthew does not stop yet, he is still far enough away.

Matthew picks up the cup of tea and takes a slow sip. He sets it down and looks back at the screen. Quickly he types. Then Matthew stops as he knows the presence is there, standing in the doorway.

“Good morning, Michael.” Matthew says as he looks up and physically sees Michael for the first time. Michael is use to these tactics from Matthew and just approaches the chair and sits down.

“What is it, Michael?” Matthew asks. Michael stares at Matthew and licks his lips quickly.

“I thought you knew everything. Why don’t you tell me?” Michael challenges Matthew. Matthew sits back in his chair. It had been a long time since he last dealt with Michael. It was no surprise that Michael still expected Matthew to behave the same way he did when he was young and cocky.

“I have learned that I might know what you need, but it becomes important if the person knows it themself. That is especially the case here.” Matthew says softly. Michael looks to the wall and then back at Matthew. The man was special, and the only other person that Michael would consult with.

“It’s Nikita.” Michael says and Matthew nods his head. He had hoped that Nikita would be about to approach him with her problem. With Michael dealing with it, it showed how Nikita and Michael were connected, plus that she needed his support..

“How is she?” Matthew asks and Michael rolls his eyes. This was wasting time. Michael knew that Matthew probably knew more than he knew. Matthew was just that kind of person.

“You know exactly how she is. She only slept maybe three hours last night....” Michael says and Matthew shakes his head.

“Less than an hour.” Matthew corrects and Michael stands up. He wants to solve this problem know. He didn’t want to tell Matthew everything he knew, just to know that Matthew knew it better. Michael always believed that he knew Nikita the best, and Matthew was challenging that.

“You are wrong, Michael. You do know Nikita the best.” Matthew says as he stands up and moves to the coffee table. He pours some for Michael, knowing that he had stayed up the entire night watching Nikita.

“How can you say that? You probably know who’s dreams she having!” Michael exclaims and Matthew calmly hands Michael the cup of coffee. He shakes his head lightly and sighs.

“I only know that she is having someone else’s dreams. That is all.” Matthew says as he sits back down. He knows from experience that Michael won’t.

“Then how do I know her better?” Michael asks and Matthew frowns. Michael knows how he knows Nikita better.

“Well, for one, I never spent a night on the boat with her....” Matthew says with a smile. Michael turns angry for a second until he noticed that Matthew was joking.

“Michael, I don’t know how strong she is. I really thought that she would handle this on her own. But you showed me that she needs the support.” Matthew says as he folds his hands.

“You didn’t know that? After what Madeline did to her? After what her childhood was like?” Michael asks at the absurd remark that Matthew said. Michael knew exactly why Nikita needed support.

“Michael, those only made her stronger. A person only needs support when they find someone that they totally trust with their heart, their soul, and their life with. I can not pick up on that.” Matthew corrects Michael. Michael lifts his head at the comment.

“There is nothing between us, now.” Michael says and Matthew shakes his head. There was more of a connection between those two than Matthew even wanted to see.

“Michael, because you two have been fighting for weeks now, does not matter. There is still a connection. Identical twins can be separated from birth, and still show a connection.” Matthew says as he pulls out a piece of paper.

“Fine. Then how do I help, Nikita?” Michael asks. Matthew takes a pen out and writes an address.

“Take her to Madame Zelda. She is the only person I know who can deal with these dreams.” Matthew says as he hates to think back to his last time with Madame Zelda. Michael looks at the paper and looks at Matthew.

“If she is like you, she will know all about Section One.” Michael says and Matthew nods his head.

“She has helped me with someone else with this problem.” Matthew says. Michael holds the paper and turns to leave.

“Michael, follow what she says. Madame Zelda may be Nikita’s only hope.” Matthew says. Michael nods his head and leaves.

**********

Madeline steps out of her office and closes the door. She moves down the hall with her quiet walk and staring straight ahead. Her walk does not reflect the feelings within her.

She walks pass the computers, without stopping to see Birkoff, which she had started to do quite frequently. Birkoff does not notice, as he is deep into his computer with intelligence.

Madeline walks to the end of the hall and turns into a hallway that she had not been done in years. The light at the end is on, and calls to her, as it did so many years ago. She tries to forget what all had passed. She needed to be strong and firm as she entered this office.

“Hello, Madeline.” Matthew responses as he holds out a cup of tea to Madeline. Madeline nods her head in appreciation of the cup and sits down. Matthew sits down and looks at Madeline. There are many games between the two. Matthew always seems to win. Madeline wanted to change that.

“What is going on with Nikita?” Madeline asks and Matthew smiles at her.

“I am not going to answer that.” Matthew replies as he looks into her face. Her hair has gotten darker. Matthew thought about the symbolism of the gesture, but pushed it away.

“I saw Michael. What is going on with Nikita?” Madeline says again. Matthew looks at Madeline firmly. He knew that Madeline had seen Michael. He also knew that Michael did not even say a word to Madeline. Her little game was not good enough.

“You don’t know enough, Madeline. You should remember what I know.” Matthew says as he folds his hands in front of him. Madeline bites back on her wisdom teeth and narrows her eyes. She knows the knowledge of Matthew could destroy Section in one second. But because of his skills, he has proved valuable in other areas. He proved especially vital to giving insight on Madeline. Madeline was still quite aware of this. Yet, he has never fully declosed everything about her.

“You used to be worry about Nikita. I was surprised when I found out about your plan.” Matthew says and Madeline looks ahead, not changing her expression.

“I worry about Section One.” Madeline says and Matthew shakes his head. He knows all about this subject, and can not believe the front that Madeline was putting on here.

“I will only tell you that Michael and Nikita will be gone for four days. That is it.” Matthew says as he lifts his chin up in the air. Madeline stares back firmly.

“Four days!!!!” Madeline explodes angrily. She can not believe Matthew. She stands up and starts to pace. Matthew looks at her and shakes his head.

“Her problem will be solved quicker than the virus. I have taken care of that.” Matthew says and Madeline sits down shocked. His statement hurt. He had to have known her position on everything. He had always known her position on everything, even while he was away.

“And so you blame me for the virus mishap?” Madeline asks as she crosses her legs and opens herself to Matthew. It was the only person that Madeline would ever do this with, and ever will.

“Madeline, you used everything you knew about Nikita against her to satisfy a whim, a fancy of yours. A sexual whim.” Matthew says angrily. He stands up and shakes his head at Madeline. He had some problems with what Madeline had done in the past, but he hated this one.

“You told me that with everything that you knew about Nikita that you would never do more harm to her than what Section needed. What occurred there, was more than Section. That was personal.” Matthew says as he opens a drawer and pulls out the files.

The pink folders open Madeline’s eyes. She hadn’t seen them physically in four years. They sometimes haunted her sleep, but now they stared at her.

“Birkoff needs to be trained in this area. If we have a mission that calls for a person with high computer knowledge to seduce a programmer, I have to send him in!” Madeline argues out. She can’t even believe herself. She knows it’s all lies, and so does Matthew.

“Madeline, if you want to fill your cravings with Birkoff, fine. You should have never given Nikita the low dose virus and you should not have tricked Birkoff.” Matthew argues back. He sits down with the file and opens it. Madeline’s eyes widen.

“I almost went to Operations on this one.” Matthew says as he stares at Madeline.

“I gave her a low dose. It should not have been that bad on her system!” Madeline says angrily. She is starting to panic. If Matthew told Operations everything that he knew about Madeline, she would have three seconds to live, and that would be all.

“Madeline, you know Nikita. More than I have to go over with you again. She had come off some very bad missions. Her emotional state had been damaged over and over again. She was recovering from the mission with all the innocents she killed. That is why this took hold of her system. You knew all of that, and still administered the virus!” Matthew says angrily. He can barely look at Madeline, but he sees Madeline’s grief in the decision. He would not allow her to know that he knew about her grief, someone had to fight for Nikita’s sake.

“I had too. You don’t understand it all. I had too!” Madeline says sharply.

“The only thing I saw good coming out of this was that Nikita was going to have a relationship with Michael, like you wanted. You haven’t changed your mind again, have you?” Matthew asks. Madeline shakes her head no. Matthew also knew that, but he needed to see Madeline nod to the answer.

“So what is occurring now is still with this virus?” Madeline asks out of concern. Matthew softens his gaze and shakes his head.

“No.” Matthew responds.

“Is she pregnant?” Madeline asks and Matthew almost falls out of his chair. Matthew thought that Madeline had known better than that. He could not believe that Madeline asked that. Madeline also knew that.

“Sorry. That was uncalled for.” Madeline says as she stands up. Matthew takes a good look at her. He tilts his head and looks at Madeline.

“You’re having them again.” Matthew says softly.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Madeline defends herself with a firm look. Matthew nods his head and then looks down.

“Madeline, Operations brought me back to re-establish your limits. But remember, I am here for you.” Matthew says. Madeline nods her head and leaves.

**************

Nikita had struggled through the mission that day, after Michael changed her role in the mission. Instead of Nikita being with Michael, he put her into the bushes. Maybe Michael thought that it was the best way to protect Nikita, but it wasn’t. There was no action for a long time. Long time with no noise, made Nikita drift in and out of sleep. Luckily, the mission was clean, and Nikita did not have any action at all.

She was angry at Michael’s decision and ran out of Section One, even as Michael called out after her. She walked into the night, determined not to allow Michael to see her dream. He had seen her weak one to many times.

Nikita know stood on her balcony staring at the huge red moon, hanging above the city. It held her gaze for minutes at the time. She had focused on it so long, she did not even notice Michael walk into the apartment.

“Nikita, why didn’t you stop?” Michael asks as he steps onto the balcony. Michael, himself, is taken back with the sight of the huge red moon. He remembered many times that he had stared at it himself. He looked at Nikita, who had turned her head towards him.

“Nikita?” Michael questions softly. She looks like she is staring off into space. Her blue eyes hold pain and a need for sleep that even Operations will soon see. Michael steps forward and almost brushes Nikita’s hands with his own.

“I shouldn’t have been in the bushes. I should have been with you.” Nikita says slowly as she pulls her hair back, that with the breeze, floats towards her mouth. Michael tilts his head and looks at Nikita.

“There were no guards near you. It was a good position.” Michael says with a little twitch in his jaw. Nikita closes her eyes, and it appears that she was ready to fall asleep while standing. She opens them and stares at Michael.

“If I was with you, I wouldn’t have nodded off four times.” Nikita says bluntly. Michael takes a deep breathe. What Nikita had just told him meant everything. She wanted help now.

“Nikita, I have a person who can help you.” Michael says slowly as he pulls out the piece of paper. He had checked out Madame Zelda and then went to the house. She nodded to Michael and simply said, “Later tonight.”

Michael looked at Nikita as she walked back into the apartment. Convincing Nikita of this was going to be a bit more difficult.

“No, Michael. I am fine.” Nikita responds with a Section standard response. Michael leans against the now closed balcony door. He swallows and follows Nikita.

“What are you going to do? Stay up for the rest of your life?” Michael challenges as he holds the paper to Nikita. She grabs it and holds it.

“That’s not your writing.” Nikita says as she sets the paper down on the table as she walks to the kitchen. Michael hurries into the kitchen and grabs all objects of caffeine out of Nikita’s hands.

“It is Matthew’s.” Michael says and Nikita slumps her head.

“And you trust him?” Nikita says letting a little cry out. Michael nods his head and moves to Nikita. Nikita is so tired, that she can no longer fight Michael. He wraps his arms around her and she sinks into his body.

“You need to get these nightmares under control, Nikita.” Michael whispers softly into her ear. She nods her head and sighs.

“Can we go now?” Nikita asks

***********

The house was white, with a large set of stairs leading to the porch. Nikita stepped out into the cool night air and stopped without moving towards the stairs. Michael rounded the car and placed his arm around Nikita’s shoulders.

With Michael’s movement towards the stairs, Nikita followed not far behind. She walked up the first couple stairs with no problems. Then half way up, she pulled back and stopped. Michael looked down from two steps above Nikita. His hand still held Nikita’s as she tried to back away.

“Nikita, you need to do this.” Michael says and Nikita wildly shakes her head no. Tears are running down her face, and Michael retreats back down the stairs and holds Nikita. Her body trembles and she cannot maintain focus on his face.

“No... I can handle this. I have handled everything else.” Nikita stutters out as she again tries to escape Michael’s clasp on her body.

“You have to do this, Nikita. They will cancel you.” Michael says firmly as he holds her face still with his other hand. Nikita closes her eyes pathetically and Michael fights the urge to hold her forever on those stairs.

“Michael, I will be fine, without this... I can’t face what is needed... I just can’t!” Nikita pleads out. Michael holds onto her. If he had too, he was prepared to carry her up the stairs.

“Nikita, you have to do this.” Michael says again.

“Correction, you both have to do this.” Madame Zelda says as Michael looks up at her. Nikita looks at her and then at Michael. Nikita looks like a deer in headlights. Madame Zelda held her arms open to Nikita and smiled softly.

“Come here, child. I will help soothe your dreams.” Madame Zelda says softly, in a singing manner. Nikita firmly takes a step up and turns to Michael.

“But she might learn of Section...”

“I know of Section One. I know of the boat.” Madame Zelda says. Nikita’s eyes open widely. The boat was mentioned a few too many times in recent days. Nikita walks up the stairs with Michael.

Madame Zelda was quite small, and opened the door to the house for them to enter. Michael did not expect the normal furniture, but found it all the same. Nikita stopped at the doorway and trembled. Michael turned from the middle of the room to Nikita. Her hands gripped the doorways wood as her shoulders rolled down.

“Child, it is all right. Come in.” Madame Zelda says softly. She looks at Nikita. She had only seen a case this bad once before. Madame Zelda looked at her eyes and shook her head.

“You might want to catch her and place her on the couch.” Madame Zelda says to Michael as she turns and sits on the chair next to the red couch. Michael turns to look at Madame Zelda, when out of the corner of his eye, he sees Nikita’s body slide.

Michael steps forward and is surprised to see that Nikita’s blue eyes still were open. She shook her head in protest. Michael holds her in his arms and stops before the couch.

“Nikita, please, give this a chance.” Michael says softly. Nikita pulls at Michael’s head and shakes her head.

“I can’t. I can’t relive my childhood again, Michael. I can’t.” Nikita cries out as her hands suddenly seem like ice cycles. Michael places her on the couch and Madame Zelda touches her blonde hair.

“Child, I know of your childhood. You can only relive it if you deem so. But, I think it best that you do now.” Madame Zelda says and Nikita looks up. Michael starts to back up from the couch and goes to the doorway. He feels like an intruder.

Nikita looks at Madame Zelda and curls up on the couch. She places her hands out for Madame Zelda, as asked. Madame Zelda looks at Michael and nods.

***********

Mommie stood in the kitchen chopping an onion when the body walked into the room. The hands held a dish, until it fell.

CRASH!!!

Mommie turns with knife right next to her head to the scene. The broken dish on the ground.

“YOU STUPID BOY!” Mommie screams as the eyes look back down.

The head looks back up towards Mommie. But it isn’t Mommie....

It’s Nikita’s Mother.

“YOU STUPID GIRL!” Mother screams and Nikita bends down. She starts to clean up the pieces while cutting her hands.

“GET UP YOU STUPID BOY!” Mommie screams and the body raises. Mommie grabs the pieces of the dish and throws them into the sink.

“I WISH I NEVER HAD YOU!” Mommie screams and the body looks down.

“NIKITA! YOU ARE THE WORST THING EVER TO HAPPEN TO ME! I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!” Mother screams.

Nikita turns towards the door and runs into the current boyfriend. His eyes look down at Nikita as he smiles. He looks at her body and licks his lips.

“Want me to take care of the twirp?” the boyfriend asks as he licks his lips again.

“NO! MOMMIE!” Nikita screams out. Mother looks at Nikita and her drunk boyfriend.

“Have fun. Maybe she will prove valuable in something.” Mother says as she turns back to her chopping. The boyfriend picks Nikita up and carries her to the couch.

Nikita is thrown to the couch and she moves towards the arm.

“NO! STOP! PLEASE! NO! NO! NO!” Nikita screams out with all of her might. She isn’t heard, and she has never been heard. She could not believe that her mother has given her to this. Nikita shakes her head.

“SHUT UP STUPID BRAT! YOU WILL ENJOY THIS!” The boyfriend says as he walks out of his pants. The boyfriend frisks his naked boy and winks at Nikita.

“I have a lot to teach you.” The boyfriend says with a smile. He moves to the couch and tears at Nikita’s shirt.

“STOP! STOP! NO! NO! NO!” Nikita screams loudly. The boyfriend backhands her and Nikita stops her screams. She tries to hold her body tightly.

The boyfriend goes underneath her shirt and pulls at her legs.

“BITCH! OPEN YOUR DAMN LEGS OR I WILL HURT YOU!” The boyfriend hisses. He runs several fingernails down the inside of Nikita’s tights and she cries as her legs part. He smiles and leans into her.

“Please... no...” Nikita begs softly. The boyfriends lips meet her chest and his body moves above her.

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Nikita screams

*

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Nikita screams as she pulls her hands away from Madame Zelda. Nikita places her head on the cushion and cries.

Madame Zelda pats Nikita’s hair and looks at Michael. Their eyes lock, as Michael stands in the doorway.

“Come here, child. She needs you.” Madame Zelda says softly. Michael steps forwards slowly. He doesn’t like hearing Nikita’s screams.

“You two are connected. Connected deeply.” Madame Zelda says as Michael stops short of the couch. Nikita’s head pops up and shakes her head. Michael does a similar motion.

“The connection is that like an earthworm’s head. You can cut an earthworm’s head off, it just regrows. Your connection has been stretched and pulled. It has been stabilized and it has been worn thin. It will never leave. It will always be there between you two.” Madame Zelda pronounces softly. Nikita shakes her head, and Michael stands still.

Madame Zelda looks directly at Michael.

“Two sides of the same coin.” Madame Zelda says and Michael’s mouth drops. He is in agreement. Nikita, who is suffering, still can’t accept it.

“Nikita.... he has admitted it himself....... remember when you were sick.... he said, “I would rather die a slow and painful death than never tell you that I love you.” Nikita you do remember?” Madame Zelda says and Nikita pulls away from the couch.

Her body collapses as she struggles to gather her feet. She looks at Michael and then at Madame Zelda.

“It was true! No! It was a dream! Michael... it was a dream, right????” Nikita asks as she tries to pull herself up. She searches Michael’s eyes and finds the truth in them. He had said the words. All this time she believed that it was a dream.

“NO! IT HAD TO BE A DREAM!” Nikita cries out. Michael bends down and pulls Nikita to the couch.

“No, it is true. I love you, Nikita.” Michael says and Nikita looks like she is about to collapse. She rolls her head towards Madame Zelda. Nikita’s hands are pulled out and she does not pull them back.

“Place your hands on her back.” Madame Zelda orders.

***********

The door was closed tight, but it still opened.

The cries started immediately.

“PLEASE MOMMIE, NO!” the boy screamed out and moved to the headboard. Mommie approached the bed and shook her head.

“Nikita, how many times do I have to tell you to be nice to my boyfriends?” Mother questions and Nikita shakes her head in fear of what will happen this time.

“Mom, I don’t like it. I hate it when they touch me... when they hurt me!” Nikita cries out, but her mother just slaps her across her face.

“YOU WILL LIKE IT! YOU MUST! IT IS ALL YOU ARE GOOD FOR! A GOOD F@CK AND THAT’S IT!” Mother screams at Nikita as the door opens wider. Nikita stands up against the wall. She can’t live like this. There is more to life that this. There had to be.

Mother moves closer to the bed, and grabs Nikita’s arms. She pulls them up and ties them to the headboard. The current boyfriend laughs at the wiggling Nikita, trying to get free.

“NO MOM! STOP! STOP!” Nikita screams. She again, receives another slap.

“YOU RUINED MY LIFE. NOW SHUT UP AND BE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!” Mother screams as she walks out of the room, leaving Nikita tied up to the boyfriend.

The boyfriend walks to Nikita and rubs a hand to her cheek before pulling her nightshirt off of her body. It is ripped and Nikita begins to cry. The boyfriend runs a hand down across her chest.

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Nikita screams. He covers her mouth and leans down. He undoes his pants and in one thrust, enters Nikita’s young immature body. Nikita tries to scream at the pain. The other had taken time, he just rammed.

“THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO BE A BAD GIRL!” The boyfriend laughs as he lets Nikita’s mouth go and works his mouth to her chest. Nikita leans her head back and prays of it to end.

*

“Focus on the boy, child...” Zelda says softly as Nikita’s screams echo in the room. Michael holds Nikita’s trembling body in his hands, but has his eyes closed. He could not bear listening to Nikita’s childhood torture. Madeline had told him that there had been abuse, but not this.

This explained a lot to Michael that he couldn’t explain before. It explained her need for life. It explained her need for love. It explained her need to please those who seemed to love her. It also explained why at times Nikita pulled away from those who loved her. She was frightened in more ways than Michael could identify.

“NO! NOT AGAIN!!!!” Nikita screams out and Michael tightens his eyes. Her cries echo in the room. He opens his eyes and looks at Zelda. This was not what Zelda had expected.

“Child.... the boy.... who is he? Focus on him... You are safe...” Zelda says softly, but Nikita’s cries do not stop. Zelda nods to Michael and holds onto Nikita’s hands.

“NOT BEHIND MY BACK!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Nikita screams as her head starts to flop around in a manic manner. Michael can barely keep his hands on her wet body. Michael waits for the screams to slow a bit.

“Nikita, you are safe... what about the boy? Who is the boy?” Michael says softly into her ear. Nikita pulls her head away and shakes her head like a wet dog.

“STOP SLAPPING! I WAS GOOD! I WAS GOOD! PLEASE STOP!!!” Nikita screams out as she runs her nose against the arm of the couch. Michael shakes his head. He can’t see how this is helping Nikita at all. She was suffering too much. He wanted to end this, but knew if the nightmares continue that the only thing ending would be Nikita’s life.

“Nikita... focus on the boy.. the boy, Nikita!” Michael says louder, on the verge of begging. Nikita slams her head into the arm of the couch with a strong force.

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Nikita yells as she begins to fall off of the couch. Michael pulls her back up. Zelda shakes her head. She had tried from the beginning to get Nikita to redirect her attention. Nothing had worked.

“I’m too young for that.... please... leave my bum alone!” Nikita cries out as baby.

Michael’s tears are not held back any further. How did Nikita ever make it? How did she survive? How did she make it pass Madeline’s tests without this coming out?

Michael had gained access to all of Nikita’s files one day. It had been a computer glitch, but Michael lucked out. He read some of Madeline’s report. She would have never approved Nikita for cold operative work if she knew this. Michael had a hard time believing that Nikita repressed all of these memories.

“Nikita, I order to you to focus on the boy!” Michael says firmly and Zelda opens her eyes in disapproval.

Suddenly, Nikita’s body stops it’s moving and her cries cease. Michael and Zelda look at the body and waits.

“I know who it is.” Nikita announces as she holds her head up, and finding some strength, pulls away from the couch.

**********

Nikita starts to circle the room in way that represents a drunk. Her hair is damp and tangled and her body has no self control. Her eyes look only red, and no blue is seen. Underneath her eyes, the bags have swollen with the massive amount of tears. Her cheeks are flushed from screaming into the couch cushion.

“It’s the boy....” Nikita stutters out as she continues to circle in her fatigue. Michael tries to follow behind her, not knowing if she would fall or collapse.

“Now... that I know... They will end, right???” Nikita questions as she stands in front of Zelda. Zelda can’t look up at Nikita. Nikita turns away with a scream.

“THEY HAVE TOO!” Nikita screams as she walks almost directly into the wall.

“What boy, Nikita?” Michael questions as he tries to reach out and touch her. Nikita shrugs Michael’s hand away and continues her staggered path.

“The boy... in the house next to my apartment.... the young blonde. I give him quarters whenever I see him...” Nikita cries out and she shakes her head.

The boy never showed the signs of what he has gone through. If Nikita had the strength, she would have gone to the house and killed the mother and father with her bare hands. Nikita looks at her hands and then turns to Madame Zelda.

“If we get rid of his situation.... the dreams will stop, right?” Nikita questions as she nervously begins to twirl her hair. Nikita waits of Madame Zelda’s answer and almost collapses when no answer comes.

“No, they will continue. They have to end on your side.” Madame Zelda finally says as Nikita takes her hand to support her against the wall.

“What more can I do? I need sleep. I won’t make it!” Nikita cries out and Michael moves towards her.

“Nikita...” Michael says as he tries to wrap her into his arms. She moves around the room, not stopping. It was as if she stopped moving, she would have another dream. Nikita pushed at her hair and her clothing. She needed out. She could not wait for the to end.

“NO! THEY HAVE TO END!” Nikita screams as she starts to ball her hands up in her hair. Michael takes her arms, but Nikita again slips out.

“The boy... he can’t suffer.. IT’S SO UNFAIR!!!!” Nikita screams as her body starts to fall backwards in exhaustion.

Michael grabs her body and holds her tightly. Michael first feels Nikita struggle, until he sits on the couch with her. Nikita shakes her head back and forth, before settling it back on his shoulder. Madame Zelda watches Nikita’s body seek Michael’s and internally smiles.

“Child,.... we can deal with it here. You must face your demons.” Madame Zelda says as she stands up from the chair. She walks to Nikita and places her hands on her head. A few moments pass and Madame Zelda moves away.

“The red moon means quickness. Tonight will be the last time, child.” Madame Zelda says softly. Nikita looks up from Michael’s shoulder and can barely hold her eyes open.

“A night underneath the glass room. You will face your demons. It is your demons that connect you to this boy’s dreams. Rid the demons from yourself, and there will be no longer his dreams.” Madame Zelda says and Michael looks into her eyes.

“Go to the bathroom, child. You will find a yellow nightgown. Put it on, with nothing underneath. Your love will do the same....” Madame Zelda says as she points to the two doorways to the back of the room. Michael watches Nikita stand up slowly.

“You mean, I don’t have to do this by myself?” Nikita questions and Madame Zelda smiles.

“Child, you will never be by yourself again. You two are connected, for eternity.” Madame Zelda says as she points to the doors again.

*********

Matthew walks out into the park. It is a quiet night, like he knew it would be. He feels the cool air nip at the warm muscles that surround his neck. He moves slowly in the park, watching the red moon hang in the sky.

How many times he had seen that moon? He stopped counting ages ago. Each time, that he saw the moon, it held something’s that he wish he never wanted to think about again. And somehow, they all got connected.

Was it fate? Was it destiny? Matthew could never answer that. Life in Section One had hardened his soul, and he couldn’t believe that it was his fate to be connected to Section One. He knew that his skills sometimes saved the lives of people he will never know. But what about the ones that he wished to know? What about the ones that could have used him to heal themselves?

But what he had seen recently, only tried to pull at the strings of fate and destiny. Michael and Nikita, simply defied everything that Matthew tried to hold onto. They didn’t fit anything he truly knew.

Matthew turned the corner and stopped. Madeline lifted her head from her position on the bench and nodded towards Matthew. Matthew stepped towards her and looked in both directions.

“You knew I would be here.” Madeline says and Matthew shakes his head. He is so tired of the games with Madeline. It drained him. If there was one set of things he wish he could rid himself of, it was Madeline, in the whole. The relationship that was here now, would never compare to the one that use to be years ago.

“Cut the crap, Madeline. You and I both know and understand that I know everything about you.” Matthew says angrily as he sits down. Madeline looks to the trees in the sheer quickness that Matthew turned on her.

“I wish you didn’t.” Madeline says bluntly and Matthew starts to shake his head again. He can not believe Madeline.

“DO YOU THINK I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU? DO YOU THINK I WANT TO SEE YOUR MEMORIES OF OPERATIONS? DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO NIKITA?” Matthew screams as he stands up and starts to walk away. The only way he knew to change things was to change it himself. He could not take Madeline anymore.

“Wait!” Madeline calls out as she stands up from the bench. Matthew rolls his head back and then finally turns towards Madeline.

“What is it, Madeline?” Matthew says as he stares into her eyes. She looks back and Matthew is lost at the reading on Madeline. All he gets is Regret. He has no idea what she regrets. This has only occurred one other time with Madeline.

He had read love, but could not read that it was himself that Madeline had loved.

“Regret...” Matthew says softly and Madeline raises her chin.

“I regret what I did to Nikita.” Madeline says and Matthew shakes his head.

“You still believe you were right..... you regret that you loved me.” Matthew says slowly. Madeline turns her head, but can’t stop the tears. Why did this one man have the key to her entire being? Why did he continue to torment her? Her life had been fine!

“I don’t regret anything. I regret that I allowed my silly emotion destroy the friendship that was between us. What happened to us was my fault. That is what I regret.” Madeline admits to Matthew. He nods his head and turns away.

“And you’re going to leave?” Madeline asks in annoyance. She just admitted that she was wrong, and he was going to leave.

“What do you want me to do, Madeline? Forget everything that happened? Forget all that you have done to Nikita, after you promised me? Forget all the times you laid in Operations arms? You might be able to forget.. but I can’t!” Matthew says forcefully. He turns and sees the moon. He shakes his head at the moon and looks at Madeline.

“I’m going to make this quick. You can forget what you want. Everything about you haunts me each day. I know when you are eating.. For pete’s sake, I know when you are constipated! I don’t have a life! I have a life that is secondary to everyone else’s that I see!” Matthew says as he shoves his hands into his pockets.

“Then at least tell me what is wrong with Nikita.” Madeline says and Matthew shakes his head in disbelief. He thought she would do this. HE KNEW THAT SHE WOULD DO THIS!

“Not in my life time.” Matthew says as he turns and leaves the park, no longer wanting to see the moon or Madeline.

***********

Michael steps out of his little room, feeling quite uncomfortable in his nightgown. He feels the night draft in areas that he shouldn’t. Michael pulls at the sides to his body and stares at Madame Zelda.

Madame Zelda holds out a bag for Michael to place his things into. She then inspects his body. She pulls the chain link bracelet off of Michael’s wrist and places it on the table. She searches his fingers and sighs.

“No rings?” Madame Zelda asks and Michael nods his head yes. She shakes her head and dives into the bag.

“What are you doing?” Michael questions. Madame Zelda pulls out the black jeans and looks at Michael.

“Items that will comfort her, must come from you.” Madame Zelda says as she looks at the bracelet. Michael looks at Madame Zelda as she pulls out his wallet. It has a little keyring on the end, and she quickly pulls it off.

Madame Zelda moves to her drawer and pulls out a piece of string. She drops the keyring on the string and hands it to Michael. Michael looks at the makeshift necklace and then back to Madame Zelda.

“Take it to her, and the bracelet. She is tired. Probably falling down in the bathroom.” Madame Zelda says. Michael picks up the bracelet and does as told. He moves to the door and stops.

“Nikita?” Michael calls out but gathers no response. He opens the door a crack and shakes his head. He enters and closes the door.

Nikita is almost falling off of the toilet and her head rolls back and forth trying to keep her awake. Michael moves towards her and places his hands around her waist. Thankfully, Nikita had been able to get into the night gown.

“Madame Zelda wanted me to give these to you.” Michael says as Nikita’s hand grazes Michael’s shoulders. Michael slips the bracelet onto her wrist and holds the necklace for Nikita to take.

“You look good in yellow.” Nikita says with a small smile. Michael shakes his head.

“Nikita, the necklace...” Michael says, but Nikita continues. She runs her finger down the front of the night gown and giggles.

“NIKITA!” Michael snaps and Nikita picks her head up and opens her eyes. Michael slides the necklace down and Nikita stares at it.

“What kind of pendent is this?” Nikita questions as she can barely keep her eyes focused. Michael smiles at Nikita and rubs her cheek softly.

“It is the keyring from my wallet.” Michael responds flatly and Nikita starts to laugh.

“OH! It’s so romantic!” Nikita laughs out, but suddenly fall back into tears. Michael reaches for her and holds her to his shoulder.

“I’m so scared... Demons.. Michael, mine are bad....” Nikita says slowly. Michael holds his breathe. He knows that her demons are bad. Why did the good ones always get hurt?

“I don’t care. You are good, and that is all that matters.” Michael says softly as he rubs the back of her head. Nikita continues to sob, but she slows down.

“I just want to sleep...” Nikita comments.

“That will happen if you two children come out of the bathroom.” Madame Zelda’s voice booms from the other side of the door. Both Michael and Nikita laugh softly.

***********

Zelda leads Michael and Nikita through the dark hallways. Nikita leans on to Michael ask her feet continually trip over the long nightgown. Michael watches the path that Zelda takes, proving to be always thinking with his Section One mind.

Zelda stops and opens the door. The room is lit softly by the moon outside that has dropped it’s reddish hue and has gone to it’s brilliant white. The room is glass except for the side that attaches to the house. Zelda moves to the center of the room and motions for them to enter.

Nikita’s feet step down on the floor, which is like walking on a long bed mattress. Nikita studies the red floor and finds two pillows on it. They are spread far apart and Zelda reaches for Nikita’s hands.

Nikita sits down on the floor as Zelda positions her. She reaches down and touches Nikita’s head softly. Nikita stares back at the woman.

“Do not fight the dreams... You are safe.... protected by those in the stars above...” Zelda says softly and Michael stares at her. He can only think of one person who Nikita would willing think would be protecting her. Michael felt threatened by the comment. The memory of his mentor was again being thrown into his face.

“There is no one up there...” Nikita says as she looks down to the floor. Zelda grabs Nikita’s chin and shakes her head.

“They are above, child...” Zelda says softly. She helps Nikita to lay flat on her back. She then moves Michael to the end with Nikita’s feet.

Michael sits down and looks at Zelda. He knows not of what his purpose is in this.

“Be her support... let her see how she faced her demons... Be the Michael you were when she was sick.” Zelda says as she whispers into his ear. She lays Michael down and pushes Michael’s feet to Nikita’s.

Nikita can not stop herself from giggling. Zelda looks at Nikita, and knows it is her way of trying to avoid what was next. Zelda looks at Nikita softly again, and she stops her laughter.

“Do not be frightened, my child. The connection of the feet just allows you to know he is there.... It won’t be there long...” Zelda says as she heads to the door.

And then they were alone. Nikita looked up to the sky and let some tears fall. Michael looks up to the sky and for one of the few times, feels peace. The night was for Nikita, and he would not allow his thoughts to drift elsewhere.

Michael lifted his head up off of the floor and looked towards Nikita. She was already asleep.

***********

“NIKITA! SHUT UP!” a random boyfriends shouts at Nikita. She stands in her room, still smiling.

“SO LONG... FAIR WELL....” Nikita sings out loudly, from the Sound of Music. She stands pantomiming the movements of the song. She had seen the movie with a friend, and had fallen in love with it.

Nikita mutters over the German words and giggles. She could never say them quite quick enough to make sense.

“NIKITA! WILL YOU SHUT UP!” the boyfriend yells louder and Nikita doesn’t pay attention. She thinks that she is standing in front of hundreds performing.

“I DO.. I DO... TO You and You and You..” Nikita sings out loudly, as she performs the little waves of her hands. She tend does the movements to move that child out of the room.

“The sun....” Nikita starts to sing, as the door to her room opens sharply, throwing Nikita against the wall. Nikita instinctively turns around to face the boyfriend.

“STOP!” he screams as his face begins to turn red. Nikita’s tears form as the stinging from her body hitting the wall start to become apparent.

“I was just playing...” Nikita says innocently, but the boyfriend moves quickly. He moves to Nikita and pulls at her neck. He throws her weak little body down to the bed. He smiles as he walks to her and takes his belt off.

“You were a bad girl, Nikita.” The boyfriends says as he snaps the belt before Nikita’s eyes. She tries to pull up into a ball, but instead she looks at him.

“Mommie only lets you punish me when she is around! STOP!” Nikita screams.

The boyfriend pulls at Nikita’s body and administers a lash with the back to her bare back. He pulls her clothes off, as Nikita squirms.

“STOP IT! SPREAD IT AND BE GOOD TO ME!” The boyfriend hollers.

Nikita tries to fight him. She wills her legs to stay closed. She has reached the age where it started to matter who had access and who didn’t. It was an age when her school mates knew what her mother did and therefore made Nikita guilty by association. She no longer wanted to do this to protect her mother, or because mother said so. She wanted it to stop to protect herself.

“STOP! I DON’T WANT YOU!” Nikita screams and the boyfriend slams his fist into Nikita’s eye socket. Nikita feels the pain, but hears the zipper come down from his pants.

Nikita pulls her knee up hard into the boyfriend. He rolls off of her in severe pain. Nikita curls up in a tight ball, crying.

“DON’T TOUCH ME AGAIN LIKE THAT!” Nikita screams out. As she pulls her shreds of clothing on.

But the pain passes soon enough. He might not be able to do what he wanted to do, but he could make Nikita suffer for her choice. What would have been quite and painless, was going to hurt Nikita.

He carefully stood up and pounced onto the bed. He grabbed Nikita’s chest and rolled off of the other side with her. He gets onto her back and pulls at her head.

“YOU WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, BITCH!” The boyfriend screams as he slams Nikita’s head down into the wood floor. Nikita screams in pain.

And he continues pounding her head down into the floor. He continues as the blood increases. He continues until Nikita screams no more. He stands up and spits onto the back of her head and limps away.

*

Michael sits by Nikita’s side as she acted out what the boyfriend did to her. This now explained the facial fractures that Section One had found when they brought Nikita in. They had healed, but Section always tried to know every weakness, emotional and physical. Broken bones were among the weaknesses.

Nikita opens her eyes and starts to crawl. Michael reaches out and touches her shoulder.

“Michael... I can’t do this.. I can never beat them... I can’t...” Nikita cries out. She sits up and tries to pull away from Michael.

“Nikita, YOU WON THIS!” Michael says firmly as Nikita continues to shake her head no.

“NIKITA! HE WANTED MORE OF YOU... You kept him out... and you won... He didn’t get in you.” Michael says firmly, spelling it out for Nikita’s tired mind.

“But he did later.. and he did before... and there were so many more...” Nikita cries softly. Michael wipes at her tears.

“But you beat him once.... that’s all that matters...” Michael says softly. Nikita crawls to the window and places a hand on the glass. Zelda had earlier explained to Michael that the glass was bulletproof. Michael did not worry that Nikita would injury herself on it.

She made no moves of pain like he thought he saw. Instead, Nikita looked up to the sky, pulled her hand and fell back to sleep.

************

Nikita comes flying out of her room, now in her teens. Tears are running down her face. Her mother, high on drugs comes flying after her. She throws the burning cigarette at Nikita, but Nikita just stamps it out.

“YOU GET BACK IN THERE NIKITA!” her mother screams as she tries to grab Nikita. Nikita ducks and pulls at her shoes.

“NO! NO!” Nikita screams back. Her mother lunges and slaps her in the face. Nikita pushes her mother away and stares at her.

“YOUR TOO HIGH TO SPREAD YOUR LEGS FOR HIM? SO YOU GIVE HIM ME?” Nikita screams angrily as she tries to tie her shoes while still walking. Nikita trips and her mother grabs her blonde hair and starts to drag her back to the room.

“YOU DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD!” her mother screams, and Nikita bites her mother’s calf.

“I am sick of it, Mother! I don’t have too!” Nikita yells back.

“As long as you are living underneath my roof and you are eating my food, you will do as told!” her mother screams as she grabs hold of Nikita’s leg as she tries to scamper away.

“As long as I am living with you and your drugs, and your abusive as hell boyfriends.. I get messed up as often as they feel the itch!” Nikita screams as she kicks her mother’s hand off of her leg.

“Nikita... that is all you will ever do!” Her mother screams as she stands up and stares at Nikita as she finally pulls the shoelaces tied. She pushes her hair away from her face and stares at her mother.

“I’m leaving...” Nikita announces as she moves towards the closet.

“THEN IT BETTER BE FOR GOOD!” Her mother screams and Nikita spits in her face.

“Why would I come back here? So you can get your boyfriends off by shoving my body onto them!” Nikita screams as she pulls her heavy jacket out that she had been saving for this moment. Her mother pulls at the door and slams it.

“Nikita... If I were you, I would stay!” her mother says firmly. Her mother is scared now. What would happen to her if Nikita left.

“Why? I was four years old when you gave me to a guy to take! FOUR! I am fourteen, mother!” Nikita screams as she allows her coat to sit on the chair. If she was going to leave, she was going to tell her mother everything.

“I am fourteen and have taken a pregnancy test ten times! Your boyfriends no longer wanted you, the wanted the young flesh. I EVEN HAD AN ABORTION FOR YOU!” Nikita screams as the tears run down her face.

“NO, you couldn’t have! You don’t have the money....” Nikita’s mother stutters angrily.

“It’s amazing what a little bit of coke and a coat hanger can get you!” Nikita says firmly. Nikita’s mother’s mouth drops.

“WHY! WHY!” Nikita’s mouth finally screams as she slams Nikita into the wall. If Nikita would have just kept the baby, she could have pawned it off onto one of the boyfriends as their. She might have even got out of this apartment. Why did Nikita always have to ruin things!

“I could imagine letting another child to be hurt, abuse, spread, slapped, slammed, and never know their father because of you!” Nikita screams as she pushes her mother off of her.

“NIKITA!” Her mother screams as she again lunges at Nikita and holds onto her arm. Nikita tries to push her mother off and can’t. Nikita’s tears keep falling, they won’t stop. She needed to finish this.

“All this time, I stayed.... Hoping somehow I would find out who my father is... But I have come to realize that you probably don’t even remember!” Nikita screams loudly as she scratches at her mother’s face. Nikita’s arm becomes free and she struggles to pull the coat on.

“Don’t you say that! I know your father! He would want you to stay loyal to your mother!” Nikita’s mother hisses at Nikita.

“I sure hope he was just one step up on the evolutionary chain from you... because then he would understand why I have to escape from this sexual zoo you have made me!” Nikita spits out as she moves to the book bag, that she had kept stashed for months, waiting for her escape.

“You leave, and all you will do is sell your body on the street!” her mother screams out as Nikita throws her book bag onto her shoulder.

“NEVER! I will never let a man push himself into me unless I want him too! I will never cell my body! I would rather die from starvation underneath a bridge, than to sacrifice my body one more time to your crummy and dirty boyfriends!” Nikita screams as she looks around the room. She looks at the box and heads to it.

************

“NIKITA! NO! THAT’S JAMES MONEY!” her mother screams as Nikita opens the box. Nikita looks at the bills and wads them up into her pockets.

“Well, I guess it is finally time I got paid for the services I have already rendered. Don’t worry.. I won’t bill you for the other half you owe me for!” Nikita screams as she heads towards the door.

“NIKITA! THAT IS JAMES’ DEALING MONEY! HE WILL KILL YOU!” her mother screams as she follows her out the door. Nikita doesn’t worry about the neighbors, half of them are dealers, the other have buyers. Hell, more than half of them had a chance at Nikita more than once.

“By the time he wakes up, I’ll be gone. I’m going as far away as I can from you and the hell that you created!” Nikita cries out as she walks down the hall. Her mother charges Nikita’s body and tackles her. Nikita tumbles down the stairs and her mother is not far behind.

“YOU WILL NOT GO!” her mother screams as Nikita kicks at her stomach. Nikita protected the money and shook her head at her mother.

“I should have left years ago. I would have been better off an orphan!” Nikita hisses out. Nikita shakes her head and her ankle aches. But emotions won’t let her stop.

“DAMN YOU NIKITA! I GAVE UP SO MUCH BECAUSE OF YOU! I GAVE UP A JOB TO BE HOME FOR YOU!” her mother yells out as she runs towards Nikita with a punch that connects to her nose.

“You were never here for me... You were here for your current James, Jack, Jimmy, Billy, or Eric!” Nikita says as she tastes the blood running from her nose.

“I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! NEVER! I HAVE DONE THINGS THAT NO ONE SHOULD EVER BE FORCED TOO! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” Nikita screams as she trembles with the memories. She remembers the dark alley that she walked down, searching for the solution of her pregnancy. She remembers sneaking out of the house with the coke, hoping that she wasn’t caught and taught a lesson. She remember the looks of the saleswoman when Nikita bought the pregnancy tests... trying to say it was for her mother. Nikita and the saleswoman both knew better.

“YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING MORE THAN ME! YOU WILL DIE ON THE STREETS! YOU WILL BE NOTHING! NOTHING NIKITA!” her mother screams.

“That will be better than being some play toy for your boyfriends.... Better than being a depository for their orgasmic juices! Better than not being able to walk to school because one of your boyfriends decided to see if they could split me in half! Better than walking through a living room filled with doped up boyfriends, most of them who had me during the night. Better than looking at my homework that had been in the way of one of their ‘spurts’ and going and telling the teacher the dog ate it! ANYTHING IS BETTER! AT LEAST ANYTHING I WILL BE DOING WILL BE FOR ME AND NOT FOR YOU!” Nikita screams as she turns and walks down the rest of the stairs. Her mother sits on the steps and cries.

“YOU END UP IN JAIL! YOU WILL DIE!” Her mother screams out. “GO TO HELL, NIKITA! GO TO HELL!”

“I’ve been in hell...” Nikita mutters as she opens the door and leaves, never to look back.

**********

Nikita woke up more than trembling. Michael just grabbed her body and held it to him. It was unbearable to listen to her dream. Her screams were the full sentences that she was yelling at her mother. Michael learned everything about Nikita that she screamed at her mom.

“Oh, Nikita...” Michael says as he tries to soothe her tears. He doesn’t even know where to start. He holds her and holds her.

“Nikita... we should talk... I know you don’t want too..” Michael says slowly but Nikita pulls her head up and looks at Michael.

“I need too. Yes... I did have an abortion... it was the last straw.” Nikita says slowly as the tears run down her face. Michael shook his head and tried to hide his own tears. How did he, who had a good family who loved him, end up so cold, when Nikita who had no family, ended up so warm.

“I went home, and packed my book bag. I had to wait till there was drug money in the house. I could not have survived without it. And when James passed out, I did anything to escape.” Nikita says and Michael holds her again. His heart is being twisted with her dreams and ringed out with her words.

“And where did you go?” Michael asks and Nikita holds onto him tightly around the back. Her tears creating the wet spot that touched to Michael’s skin.

“I went to Cleveland, but then ran to St. Louis.” Nikita says slowly. She pulls away from Michael and starts to play with the bracelet.

“I was hurt. When I took the fall from the stairs, I broke my ankle. Of course, I didn’t know that for four days until I went into a homeless shelter in St. Louis. There was a man there, grayish hair that took care of me. See, I also broke my nose and had a concussion. I don’t remember much of him. He took me once they bandaged me up to his sister’s. I didn’t spend a cent other than the bus ticket for four weeks.” Nikita says softly. It is helping her by talking about the events that weren’t so bad.

“How much did you take?” Michael asks softly as he feels her heart slow down from it’s extremely high pace.

“Ten thousand.” Nikita says and Michael looks down and Nikita lets a soft smile out.

“But I was on the run. I ran when I saw James in St. Louis. I was wearing wig, and just out of the cast. I never looked back. Each time I was settled into a city, I thought I saw him, and I’d run again. That money saved me for years, but I only knew how to live like a street person.” Nikita says softly. She looks to Michael and clasps her hand into his.

“How is this facing a demon? I didn’t win!” Nikita asks as her tears begin to pour again.

“But you didn’t lose. Did you ever give up your body afterwards?” Michael asks and then stops. Section was always the exception.

“Before Section...” Michael clarifies, and Nikita nods no. She shakes her head.

“You won because you survived, Nikita.” Michael says softly.

“I lost before I was even born.” Nikita cries as she collapses in tears onto Michael’s lap. He allows his tears to flow from his eyes. He pets Nikita’s hair softly and waits.

Sleep for Nikita was not far.

**********

The door opened and Michael raised his head. He looked down to find Nikita peacefully sleeping with her head on his chest.

Madame Zelda raised a finger and curled it back to herself. Michael kissed the top of Nikita’s head and slowly pealed himself from her needy body. Michael looked stopped and looked down as Nikita took hold of the pillow tightly. He looked at Madame Zelda and walked out of the glass room.

She shut the door and looked at Michael. She wished she could allow the loving example of the strongest bond in the universe continue between the two, but she couldn’t.

“You are protecting her. She only needs support.” Madame Zelda says slowly and Michael shakes his head in protest.