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Michael let out a harsh groan and then turned away, walking the few steps to the fireplace, where he stood staring blindly into the dark, empty grate. "You don't understand…" Michael gasped, choking back tears. "The H-units can't make you WANT someone," he whispered hoarsely. "The conditioning can only enhance feelings and desires that are already there…." Michael whirled then to face Brian, desperate to make the younger man understand the truth, to comprehend the true depths of Michael's guilt. "Don't you see?" Michael hissed sharply, his eyes meeting Brian's with focused intensity. "I… I wanted you, all along…." He confessed gruffly, shaking his head. "I've tried to ignore it, to suppress it, but deep down, I've always had this desire to be with you…" Michael whispered breathlessly. "The drugs only gave me an excuse to do what I wanted to do, just that one night….." Brian froze, staring in shock at Michael. He went rigid, all the blood leaving like face. He swayed on his feet, and for a moment, Michael thought he might be about to faint. The older man went to him, putting a steadying hand on the young doctor's arm. "Brian?" Michael choked out in alarm. "Are you all right?" Brian swayed further, and Michael caught him in his embrace. The younger man buried his head in Michael's shoulder, and let out a sharp, muffled cry. Michael held him, stroking the dark hair soothingly, and murmuring gentle words in Brian's ear. He was appalled with himself that he had upset Brian so much. "I'm sorry…." Michael apologized, alarmed. "Brian, I'm so sorry…" The broad shoulders in his embrace began to tremble, and Michael's heart sank as he realized that Brian was crying. Harsh choking sounds began to rumble from the young doctor's throat, and his trembling increased, so much so that Michael felt his own body shaking in response. He tried to hold Brian tighter, to steady him, but his young lover pulled away then, staggering back a few steps so that now Michael could see his face. It was Michael's turn to be shocked. Brian was laughing. Yes, there were tears in his eyes, and he was still pale with shock, but the sounds that came from his throat were definitely joyous ones, not from distress. The full, shapely mouth was turned up at the corners in an expression of most definite delight. "Brian!" Michael gasped. "Why are you laughing?" The younger man tried to sober himself, but he could not. His joy was too overwhelming. "Don't you see?" Brian choked out, smiling broadly. "You just told me you loved me…." The doctor shook his head, as if he could barely believe this good news. He took in a deep breath and then let it out in deep shuddering sigh of relief. "It also means that I didn't rape you, that the night we had together was really as beautiful as I thought it was…." Michael smiled back, and let out a short laugh, relief flooding him as well. "It… it was beautiful for me, too…" he confessed softly. Brian blushed, and looked back at him warmly, affection and admiration in his eyes. There was no fear, no distress, no pain. The tight, aching place in Michael's heart eased, and he realized with a jolt of brilliant joy that the rift between them, orchestrated by Madeleine, was now completely healed. The truth about their feelings was out, and their relationship, their brotherhood, the bond between them, was stronger than ever. He wasn't sure where their relationship would go from here, but he did know he would do anything in his power to see that they were never estranged again. Brian was just too important, too precious, to him. Some of what he was feeling must have shown in his eyes, because Michael saw Brian's face change from an expression of mirth to one of sudden fierce tenderness. Tears welled once again in the blue eyes. Brian opened his arms and choked out the words that echoed Michael's silent message. "I love you, too, man.." he said roughly. Michael smiled back, and then, as naturally and as easily as if he had been doing it for life-times, Michael took the two steps forward and entered into the circle of Brian's arms, letting himself be enveloped and embraced by the pure comfort and warmth of this soul-mate's love. He was home. Michael only let himself indulge in this sweet comfort for a few moments, though, before reality came crashing back in on him. They were not free. Not yet. They were still trapped here, ordered to do the impossible- to violate an innocent. After the reconciliation they had just had, that task was now even more impossible. Michael pulled out of Brian's embrace, just enough to look him in the eyes, then glanced over to the couch where the innocent young Lucinda lay sleeping. He said what they were both thinking. "Brian, we can't…" The young doctor grimaced. "I know…" he answered soberly. "I think I'd rather die first." Michael paled. He wanted to yell and scream at Brian, to shout at him, to order him not to talk like that, but he understood completely. He was feeling the same feelings himself. He knew after all they had been through in the last weeks, after how much the thought of having betrayed and used each other had nearly destroyed them, that if they were forced to use and violate this tender young girl, that they would never be the same again. Something inside them would die, some huge part of their souls would be lost. So he did not shout at Brian. He only told the truth. "I would, too," Michael agreed solemnly in a harsh whisper. "I can't do this…." Brian sighed raggedly and closed his eyes. "Michael, there's only way out of this.." he urged softly, putting his hand on Michael's arm. "We talked about it already..." The doctor leaned closer, his voice low and insistent. "I think if we can use the right drugs that it might…." Michael let out a grunt of disgust, pulling his arm from Brian's grasp. "What are you saying?" he demanded, appalled. His gaze flickered to Lucinda and then back again to fix on Brian. "I told you, conditioning her is out of the question, and so is giving her heroin…." He spat out, unsettled by this suggestion far more than he would admit. "I refuse to let you do this…." "Michael…" Brian said gently, unoffended. "I'm not talking about using either of those drugs…" He shook his head vehemently. "They would be worse in the long run for her than using nothing at all…" Michael let out a long breath, his anger calming, but he was still wary, his back rigid. "You mean memory modification, then?" he asked tightly, his hands balled into fists at his sides. He could feel all the muscles in his neck and across his shoulders knot with tension. Brian shook his head again. Of the two of them, he was the more calm. Just as grim, but calmer. "No, not that, either," he said emphatically, if a little evasively. "Something else…." Michael sighed, tiring of this game of riddles and questions. "WHAT then?" he demanded testily. "What drug are you going to use on her?" The doctor bit his lip, and he looked awkwardly down at the floor. "I can't tell you that," he whispered softly. The blue eyes flashed up to meet green. "You're going to have to trust me….." Michael blinked. This turnaround of their roles was quite shocking, as well as something that left Michael feeling like the bottom had just dropped out of his stomach. He was afraid, afraid and unsettled. It struck him that this was how Brian must have felt all those times that Michael had been in charge on a mission, and had kept Brian in the dark. He felt uneasy and slightly nauseated, as if he didn't know where his bearings were, as if he were asked to perform a high wire act without a net. Bravely, after pondering Brian's request, Michael swallowed hard and took a leap of faith, giving the whole-hearted answer. "Brian," Michael told him gravely, his green eyes softening to jade, "I trust you completely." His soul-mate let out a soft gasp of relief, then gave Michael a solemn nod, as if exchanging vows. "Thank you," he whispered softly. "I'll try not to let you down.." The two men stared at each other, eyes locked, as each were imparting strength to the other. Both of them were startled from this trance by a soft voice from behind them, a voice that joined them in the ritual of vows just exchanged. "I.. trust you, too, Brian…" said Lucinda in a high clear, tone, firm and brave. "I trust you, too…." ************ Brian turned to check on his patient, Michael on his young captive. Lucinda was sitting up, her arms behind her on the couch supporting her, one jean-clad leg stretched out, the other, knee bent, pulled up to her chest. The position was unconsciously but distinctly alluring. Her firm, full breasts thrust upward in her thin t-shirt, and the glory of her reddish gold-tipped waves tumbled in seductive disarray over her shoulders. The brown eyes were soft with sleep, her pink lips parted as if in soft invitation. Michael stifled a groan. She was beautiful. He was under orders to ravish her. When it was over, would the fact that part of him WANTED to do it, make his guilt even harder to bear? "How long have you been listening?" he demanded sharply, trying to hide his discomfiture at his own thoughts behind a screen of gruffness. The girl's eyes widened, and she sat up further, sitting cross-legged on the couch. The thick curls tumbled forward to hide the shapely breasts. She blinked at him sleepily, a little taken aback. "Not that long," she replied in a breathless, apologetic tone. The warm brown eyes looked up at him again, soft and inviting. "But long enough to know that you and Dr. Whicker are only trying to help me…." she whispered anxiously. Brian blushed from his own guilt and stared at the floor, not wanting to face her after what he had been planning. He coughed roughly, embarrassed, and then stepped closer to the couch. "How are you feeling?" he asked Lucinda softly. The girl blushed as red as Brian. "I'm okay…." She said breathlessly, embarrassed now herself. She looked at the two men guiltily, a little ashamed. "I'm sorry I lost it like that…" she confessed awkwardly, biting her full, inviting lower lip. "I didn't mean to freak out on you, but…" "But you were terrified and afraid, and you'd had a nasty shock," Brian finished for her in a kindly tone. "We understand." He smiled at her reassuringly. "Do you feel better now?" The girl nodded shyly. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said, still shy. She let out a soft moan, that was half sigh, half stifled yawn. She rubbed her eyes sleepily, and then tried to smile at them. "Just a little spacey and out of it, but fine…" she assured them with a nod. Michael's heart wrenched. He was regretting his gruff, abrupt question of earlier, and impulsively, he went forward to sit on the couch beside her, and then took her hand in his. "Lucinda," he promised urgently, looking intently into her eyes, "We're going to do everything we can to help you get through this, please believe that…." His eyes softened, and he lifted his hand to stroke back a lock of her silky hair from her cheek, caressing the velvety cream skin. "I don't want you to be afraid…." He whispered roughly. Her eyes widened, then darkened with tender warmth. Again, she forced a brave smile. "I..I AM afraid, Michael….." she confessed gently, shaking her head. "Very, VERY afraid…" she told him, then she startled him by lifting her hand to caress his cheek in turn. She leaned closer and gave him the lightest of chaste kisses on his full mouth, a butterfly's caress, an angel's blessing. "But not of YOU…." She finished in a soft whisper. Before Michael could react, or even catch his breath at this declaration of total trust, Lucinda got to her feet, and stepped up to Brian, to repeat this declaration over again. "I trust you," she told the startled young doctor, rising up on her tip-toes to kiss him gently on the cheek, "Thank you for helping me, for fixing everything…." Brian looked uncomfortable and distressed by this assurance, rather than calmed by it. The road before them was going to be nasty going for all of them, and he didn't want Lucinda to be too complacent and unprepared for the brutal twists and turns ahead. He shook his head and held Lucinda firmly by the shoulder. "Don't," he told her tightly, looking into her eyes. "Don't thank me. You have to understand that the mission is still on, that it can't be avoided….."He shook his head, his mouth firming grimly. "You'll still have to go through this, and it's going to get pretty damned ugly before it gets better…" The girl gasped in shock, her eyes widening. "But.. but you said you had a plan, I heard you.." Lucinda protested hopefully. "Don't you?" she pleaded urgently. Brian's jaw clenched. "Yes, I have a plan to make sure we all survive this," he answered roughly, voice choked with emotion. The doctor let out a ragged breath. "But you may end up not liking it any more than you do the mission itself…." Lucinda looked stricken, suddenly afraid again. Brian's face softened in pity, and he brushed his hand gently against her cheek. "I promise you, I'll do everything I can to see that this comes out all right for you…" Michael grimaced at these words, but acknowledged Brian's statement with a brief nod of respect. He knew well that sometimes the cure was worse than the disease. There had been many times he had had to do despicable things in order to keep those he cared about alive in Section. He knew that Brian was now feeling exactly as he had felt, and he didn't envy him his task one bit. "What can I do to help you?" Michael asked quietly, in warm support. Brian shook his head. "Nothing," he answered wearily, rubbing a hand over his chin. "Just stay here with Lucinda while I go talk to Madeleine…." Michael opened his mouth to speak, as if to protest, but then stopped himself, conceding that his friend, in this case, knew best. "Be careful…" he cautioned softly, holding back his urge to baby-sit the younger man by going with him. Lucinda looked at him, her expression confident again, but now a bit uncertain. "Good Luck," she whispered gently. Brian forced a smile. "Thanks," he said quickly, and then, with one last nod at Michael, he turned to the door, and hurried to leave. Wrenched by guilt, he knew he couldn't stand to linger one more second, couldn't endure seeing their trusting faces, receiving their affectionate words- Not now, knowing what horrors he had planned for them…. ************ Madeleine was waiting for him in her office. She was sitting behind her desk, her computer monitor boldly displaying the Level 7 lounge room where Michael and Lucinda sat on the couch, holding hands and talking. The Section strategist made no effort to hide the fact that she had been observing them the whole time. "I see you and Michael are on cordial terms again," she said quietly, giving the doctor a slight, rueful smile. She sighed. "I suppose that was inevitable…." Brian stiffened, his eyes flashing fire. "I'm sorry if our friendship offends you," he spat out bitterly. "But that's not what I'm here to talk about…." The lovely brunette inclined her head regally. "Of course it isn't," she replied serenely, indicating with a wave of her hand the chair in front of her desk. "Please," she invited warmly, "Sit down." Warily, Brian took a seat, arranging his long limbs in the chair, his eyes never leaving Madeleine's face. He stared at her in tight silence, watching her intently as if she were a snake coiled to strike. Madeleine broke the silence. "You're here to ask me to give you permission to administer certain drugs to your patient," she began in a business-like tone. "Why don't you tell me what you had in mind?" Brian let out a sigh, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees; he put his head in his hands. "The drugs are not just for Lucinda," he confessed wretchedly. "I need something for Michael, too." Madeleine's eyes widened in surprise. She was rarely shocked, but this time, Brian's words had startled her. She retained her composure, of course, and only betrayed her rampant curiosity by a slight lifting of her eyebrow. "Oh?" she inquired politely. "And what kind of drug would that be?" she cocked her head to the side, regarding him thoughtfully. "Do you want him conditioned again, is that it?" Brian's head came up, and he stared at her, appalled. "No, no, that's not it…" he denied emphatically, shaking his head of black curls. "I wouldn't do that to him!" The doctor sighed wearily and closed his eyes. "I was thinking that if he had something to relax him, to make him feel euphoric, and at the same time sort of spacey and out of it, that things would be easier for him…" Brian explained miserably. Madeleine folded her hands on her desk and leaned forward. "I see," she said with avid interest. "Is there any specific drug you considered would be adequate for this purpose?" Brian blinked at her, somewhat taken aback by her accommodating attitude. He had expected more resistance than this. Madeleine seemed almost eager to help him, which made him more anxious than ever. "Painkillers," he answered gruffly. "I thought a mixture of Valium and Demerol might work," he told her slowly, frowning down at the floor. "A mild dose, of course…" "Fine," she agreed serenely, to Brian's shock. "We'll arrange it." She tilted her chin up. "And for Lucinda?" she probed gently. "What did you have in mind for her?" Brian stared at Madeleine uncertainly. He was amazed that she was going along with his ideas so easily. He had expected to have to argue and beg for the drugs, but here she was, making it simple for him. The thought made him even more wary and uneasy. Madeleine was up to something. But he didn't have time to think about that now. Brian forged on. "You know she's nothing like Mariette," Brian began grimly. "Lucinda may look like her, but there's no way she'll be able to…." "Play the role of the slut," Madeleine finished for him, with unaccustomed bluntness. "The girl is neither a junkie nor a whore, I realize that," she told him acerbically. "It's unlikely that she'll be able to play the role of Oliver's wife convincingly. How do you propose to remedy that problem?" Brian licked his lips nervously. "I-I was thinking that maybe one of the new date-rape drugs would be the solution," he said tightly, his tone still guilt-filled and miserable. He winced as he explained further. "It would give the effect of her being an addict, as well as make her…. compliant…." Brian whispered painfully, horrified at himself for what he was doing. He sighed deeply. "And the merciful thing is, that she wouldn't remember anything….." he added in a choked tone. Madeleine smiled. "Very good!" she praised him. "I think you have hit upon the ideal solution for our problem.." She tilted her head and eyed him thoughtfully. "I do believe you are becoming quite the team player, Doctor…." She smiled sweetly at him. "You're beginning to fit very well into Section…." Brian stared at her, feeling like he wanted to gag. He tasted bile, his stomach knotting. The idea that he belonged in Section -that he was one of them- was a nauseating one. He grimaced; maybe she had a point, he thought grimly. After all, here he was plotting behind Michael and Lucinda's backs, to drug and manipulate them… But only to reduce their suffering, he amended to himself. Not because he got his kicks from controlling them, like Madeleine did… The kind-hearted young doctor lifted his chin defiantly. "I don't want Lucinda to be traumatized by this disgusting situation any more than she has to," he said stubbornly. "Or Michael, either, for that matter." Madeleine watched him intently, and leaned forward, resting her chin on one hand and meeting his eyes. "Believe it or not, Doctor, neither do we," she told him in a sincere tone. "If Michael has only vague memories of the event, and Lucinda none at all, then no memory modification will be needed for her, and as for Michael, he will have less trouble returning to full capacity afterwards…" She sighed in satisfaction. "All in all, it's an excellent plan, quite excellent…." She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing. "And you, Doctor?" she asked with keen attention. "What do you want?" Brian blinked. "What do you mean?" he asked, feeling a chill of apprehension go up his back. The beautiful strategist smiled. "You've requested drugs for your…. partners, but nothing for your own comfort …" She paused and licked her lips. "Don't you want anything for yourself?" she probed softly. Brian flushed, and stood up, his eyes flashing angrily. "This is not some fun-drug trip we're on here!" he growled. "I'm trying to keep them alive…." He sighed raggedly and stared at the floor, his mouth twisting in distaste. "One of us needs to be sober to see that the mission is completed, and, besides that, there's Lucinda's medical status to consider…" He looked up to meet Madeleine's eyes. "I need to be awake enough to monitor her…" "I see," said Madeleine softly, still smiling. "How very responsible and conscientious of you…" Brian flinched, wondering if she were mocking him. He glared back at her, breathing hard, nostrils flaring. "Just give me the drugs and let's get this over with…" he pleaded roughly, trembling nervously. Madeleine regarded him thoughtfully for a moment, as if considering her options. Then, abruptly, she rose from her chair, leaning her fingertips on the desk. "Fine," she acquiesced in a gentle tone. "We'll do it your way…" Brian couldn't help his gasp of shock. "M-My way?" he stammered, stunned. His nemesis nodded. "Go now," she ordered curtly, her tone all business. "The prep on the video tape with the tracking signatures is almost finished, and by the time you, Michael and Lucinda are dressed for your roles and in your places, the drugs will have been prepared and brought to you…" She waved him away with a regal gesture of her hand. "Go," she demanded again, this time with a pleased. approving smile. "Get ready." Brian swallowed hard, his stomach sinking. He shuddered, feeling like someone had just walked across his grave. He should have felt some satisfaction in having gotten his way, for having gotten what he had come for, but he felt no pleasure or relief, only fear and an immense disquiet. He knew when Madeleine smiled like that that there was nothing to feel relieved about. Defeated in his triumph, Brian could do nothing but obey. He choked out the words he didn't mean, didn't feel. "Thank you," he whispered miserably, and then turned and slowly left the room. When he had gone, Madeleine's smile widened. She let out a little laugh and sank back into her chair. "Perfect.." she said out loud, gloating to herself, brown eyes twinkling. "Just perfect….." ************ A few hours later, Lucinda looked at herself in the mirror in the opulent, staged bedroom in Section and couldn't believe what she was seeing. She wasn't herself anymore; after a whirlwind time of being attended to by a team of Madeleine's make-up and wardrobe people, she was no longer Lucinda- she had become someone else-She was ….. Mariette. The face that stared back at her was pale and hollow-eyed, with heavy makeup that did nothing to conceal the dark shadows under her eyes. Her hair was no longer worn in simple, loose waves, but was teased and tortured into a wild bush of uncontrolled frizzy curls that spilled in abandonment over her shoulders, making her look a little like a crazed lioness, a jungle creature, not a civilized human-being. She grimaced to herself. "I suppose, that was the point," she muttered under her breath. "I hardly look human…." She turned, trying to get a better look at her outlandish costume in the mirror, and was again struck by the jungle creature metaphor. She DID look like a lioness on the prowl, Lucinda thought grimly. Or something even less natural. She looked like a…. whore… The tight, black leather mini-skirt she wore was so short that it left nothing to the imagination, revealing all of Lucinda's shapely legs, as well as a tempting glimpse of her pert rear. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, unaccustomed to the feel of both the skimpy thong panties she had on as well as the absurdly high black high-heeled pumps. The shoes seemed to Lucinda to practically scream the message, "Come F*ck me"…. The girl frowned, her eyes going higher. The top she wore was no more modest than the rest of her clothes. It was black mesh and see-through, and except for a very skimpy, equally see-through black lace bra underneath, Lucinda felt almost naked. She crossed her arm across her chest to hide the full, temptingly displayed breasts. A collection of gaudy gold bracelets jangled as she did so. Lucinda sighed again. She was unaccustomed to wearing anything but a few discreet pieces of jewelry, and the heavy weight of the metal chains on her wrists felt like manacles to her, a sign she was not free, but still here, still Section's prisoner… She shivered, and turned from the mirror abruptly to look around the room. Her eyes scanned the ceiling and walls for cameras and video equipment; she saw none, but she knew for certain they were there. In a very short time she knew she would be expected to give the performance of a life-time, and deep inside, in her heart of hearts, she knew she was not ready. She would never be ready…. "You have to," she told herself sternly, giving herself another pep-talk for the umpteenth time. "You've gotten through worse. You can get through this…." She sighed, remembering. She remembered when the doctors had told her three years ago that she may not live to see thirty. She remembered waking everyday for a year, confined to a wheel-chair, wondering if she die before she would ever get the chance to walk again… No, she thought firmly. THIS isn't the worst you've been through. You've faced Death, faced helplessness and fear, faced being crippled and imprisoned in your own body…Multiple Sclerosis was a much more formidable enemy than Section could ever dream of being, and she had fought that enemy, and won. Lucinda lifted her eyes to the mirror, and looked into the brave brown depths that stared solemnly back at her. "This is a piece of cake, compared to THAT," she declared firmly to herself. "This is nothing. No big deal. You can do this…." She turned from the mirror and strode steadily and determinedly to the door, her back straight, head high. In her stomach, a million butterflies swarmed nervously, but she ignored them and walked on. Resolutely, she pulled the door open and looked up at the two lovers waiting for her there. "I'm ready," she announced grimly. "Let's do this." ************ Brian and Michael exchanged a look, admiring Lucinda's bravery. They had been waiting for her just outside the bedroom door in the Level Seven lounge, giving her time and privacy to prepare, waiting for her signal. Both of them were startled that the moment had come so soon- she was indeed a courageous girl. Michael nodded, and was the first to step past her into the bedroom, Brian following shyly and closing the door behind them. The young doctor sighed nervously. There was no more time- the mission had begun. Lucinda stared at them, stifling a slight tremor of shock. The men were in costume, too, looking different enough from their ordinary selves to appear like strangers. Michael was still in black, but this time not in a conservative suit, but in leather pants that hugged every curve and outlined every inch of firm muscular thigh and bulging manhood. He wore a sleeveless black t-shirt, equally tight as the pants, which accented the broad shoulders and powerful arms to perfection. An earring in the shape of a large, silver cross dangled from one ear, and an unlit cigarette dangled from his firm, sensuous lips. The auburn curls were no longer controlled and brushed, but hung in tangled wild tendrils over his lustrous green eyes. He looked alluring and dangerous, like a panther on the prowl. Lucinda swallowed hard and turned frightened eyes to Brian, looking for reassurance. The doctor, too, appeared strange and unfamiliar. The black curls were the same- Brian's hair was always wild and mussed, never controlled- but the rest of him was different. He wore two smallish gold hoops in his ears, as well as a shirt in a starling shade of electric blue that somehow exactly matched his eyes. The shirt, though long- sleeved, was open to the waist, revealing an expanse of firmly muscled chest, covered with an appealing amount of dark hair, a trail of which led down the center in a narrow line to disappear into the top of tight white jeans, slung low on his lean hips. Lucinda had not realized that the body that had till now been hidden under baggy green scrubs and lab-coat was quite that perfect, or quite that …arousing. Both men were alluring, desirable, and incredibly attractive. Frankly, they took her breath away. Disconcerted and a bit embarrassed by her sudden desires, Lucinda addressed Brian shyly. "Do… Do you have the dope?" she asked in a high voice, attempting to play the part of Mariette. Michael had warned her earlier that as soon as the three of them were in the bedroom area of the lounge together, that the cameras would be rolling. All of them knew they had to be in character for their roles in the mission from now on. "Sure, Babe," Brian replied awkwardly, trying not to blush. He fished in the pocket of his white jeans and then held out the pills to her on his palm- there were three red capsules, one for each of them. Only Brian knew that the one for him was not a real drug, but a placebo, a sugar pill. "Here," the doctor told the others, carefully dispensing the correct drug to the proper recipient- the painkillers to Michael, the date-rape drug to Lucinda. Michael met Brian's eyes, his own full of questions. "Is this good stuff?" he asked huskily, raising one eyebrow. Brian's face softened, and he was quick to reassure his friend that all had gone well with Madeleine, that he had gotten the drugs he had asked for. Brian beamed at both of them. "It's the BEST, guys," he told them enthusiastically, not relishing his role as pusher. He stared at each of them in turn, intently. "Trust me," he pleaded softly. Lucinda was the first to prove to him that she did just that. "Cool," she said in a casual tone, trying not to sound nervous. She popped the pill in her mouth and swallowed it down, then smiled at him brightly. "Thanks," she told him, gratitude shining in her eyes. Impulsively, she leaned forward and quickly kissed the young doctor on the cheek. Brian sighed, feeling more despicable than ever, but glad that at least she would be feeling no pain very soon, and that she probably wouldn't remember anything that he and Michael would do to her. Michael proved his trust as well by swallowing down his capsule a second later, giving Brian a swift, bright, if nervous, smile. Then, switching even more fully into mission mode, Michael took a deep breath and pulled Lucinda to him, crushing her in his arms and giving her a hard kiss on the mouth. The girl could do nothing but helplessly submit, feeling dizzy and disoriented by this onslaught of stimulation to her senses. She gasped for air; Michael's kiss had literally taken her breath away. "Now the fun can begin…" Michael whispered in a husky tone, his green eyes glittering. Playing his role, he drew Lucinda down on the bed, and nestled against her, molding his hard body to her back, and began nibbling with sensuous lips over her ear. Brian closed his eyes to shut out the sight of the beginning of Lucinda's seduction. Feeling miserable, he then popped his own pill, just for appearances. He wished to God that he had could have dosed himself with a real tranquilizer, instead of the sugar pill Madeleine had prepared. He prayed the real drugs for Lucinda and Michael would kick in soon, before the play-acting went much further. He opened his eyes and watched the couple on the bed. Amazingly, it seemed that Michael's pill was already taking effect. The handsome operative was sweating, and his eyes were slightly glassy. He watched in horror as Michael let out a sharp gasp, and stopped his assault of kisses on Lucinda's neck, rolling suddenly over on his side, clutching his belly. "Uhhh," Michael groaned, stiffening in pain. He writhed a few seconds more, then went still, slumping into unconsciousness on the bed. Alarmed, Brian rushed to the bed, forgetting the mission, the cameras, and any danger to himself- forgetting everything - in his haste to get to Michael's side. But for some reason he couldn't understand, the young doctor had trouble getting his feet to move. He felt like he was very far way from the bed, and that everything, even the air itself, was suddenly thick and impenetrable. He fought to get his breath, feeling his knees buckle under him. He was helpless to break his own fall; he collapsed heavily to the ground and just lay there, too weak to move. The blue eyes glazed over, staring pleadingly at Lucinda. The girl sat up on the bed, eyes wide with shock. She couldn't believe that the men had just collapsed like that in front her, one after the other, right after taking the drugs. "Brian?" she cried out, voice rising in terror. "Michael!" Part of her wanted to shout and scream, to rant in anger at Madeleine, to demand that she tell her just what the hell kind of drug she had given them. But she stifled her panic and anger, and instinctively reacted by trying to help. Lucinda stretched out her hand to Michael and reaching around his body, lay her fingers firmly against the base of his neck. She let out a ragged sigh of relief when she felt the steady pulse there. Michael was alive; he would be all right. About Brian, she was not so sure. The doctor lay on the floor, watching her, eyes wide with fright, just barely hanging on to consciousness. Lucinda saw his chest rise and fall as he struggled to take in full breath, moaning as if the effort of this was sheer agony for him. The girl went to scramble off the bed, to rush to his aid. But she couldn't. To her horror, she felt an all too familiar feeling of numbness in her legs, just as she had that awful year she had spent in the wheelchair. Suddenly, cruelly, the MS had struck just as it had before- she was crippled, a prisoner in her own body once again."No!" she sobbed, as the enormous horror washed over her. "No, please…." She begged capricious Fate that was tormenting her at this moment. Still, she was a fighter. She wouldn't give up so easily, not now, not so soon. She wouldn't let her disease stop her from what she had to do. Summoning reserves of determination from deep within, Lucinda lowered herself to the floor and crawled to Brian's side, dragging her now useless legs behind her. She collapsed beside him, reaching out one hand to stroke his cheek comfortingly. The doctor, though in pain, was still awake enough to turn his head to look at her. Terrified blue eyes met panicked brown. Lucinda could see her own horror reflected in his, knew that he was aware of her new condition and was as saddened and terrified by it as she was. "God, no…." Brian moaned, fighting for breath. His chest felt constricted and crushed, as if a heavy weight had been dropped on it, cutting off all his air. He writhed on the floor, gasping, desperately struggling for air, but getting none. He could feel his brain and body shutting down, too overwhelmed by the mental and physical horrors of this terrible day. Even more than crushing than his pain and panic over his own condition, was his sharp wrenching anguish over what he had done to his friends. He had tried to help them, tried to make it easier on them by giving them the drugs, but everything had back-fired. Michael was lying so pale and still on the bed- Was he dead? Brian wondered in anguish. And Lucinda's dormant disease had obviously come back with a vengeance, triggered by the dose of experimental drug that he had given her. Brian screamed inside his head; he didn't have enough breath to scream out-loud. It was too immensely horrible to take in- He had hurt the ones he loved; he was the cause of their pain, their destruction. He had killed Michael and crippled Lucinda…. What kind of monster was he? With his last ounce of strength he twisted his head away from Lucinda's gentle hand and closed his eyes, feeling he wasn't deserving of her touch, that he wasn't worthy enough to even look at her. "I don't deserve to live…." Brian raved at himself, feeling an overwhelming surge of self-hatred at the realization of the extent of the destruction he was responsible for. It was the last coherent thought he had before he gave up the struggle to breathe and let himself be swallowed by the merciful darkness…. ************ Brian lingered gratefully in the sweet darkness for a time, until a melodious voice called out to him from the world of pain and light. "Brian," Madeleine's voice ordered sternly. "Brian, wake up." The young doctor groaned and turned his head, but did not open his eyes. He resented deeply this onslaught on his peace, this cruel calling back to awareness of his guilt, his pain. He didn't want to go there. He didn't want to live in that world again… Madeleine, however, showed no mercy. She called out to him again. "Doctor Whicker," she demanded firmly, "You MUST wake up now…" Again, Brian resisted, struggling to sink back into the darkness, to escape… He let out a deep breath and then decided he wasn't inclined to take another…. "No!" the cruel task-mistress screamed. She slapped him hard across the face. "Breathe, damn you, breathe!" Brian's eyes opened then, as he involuntarily gasped in air and flinched against the pain. He blinked at his beautiful enemy, who was leaning anxiously over him. He was in Section, he realized. In Medlab. With Madeleine. "Sh*t…." he groaned weakly, and closed his eyes again, letting out a deep, ragged sigh, and then taking in another breath. "Good," Madeleine said in an approving tone at this action. "That's better…." She stepped back from the bed, settling in the chair nearby, as if for a long visit. "Now that you are at last awake, we need to have a little talk." Angered beyond endurance, Brian gave up his useless attempts to ignore her and turned his head to look at her, his eyes blazing blue fire. He lifted his head off the pillow as high as he could and spat out furious, but honest, words. "F*ck you, Bitch!" he tried to yell, but the curse came out as a ragged whisper, his throat too raw and lungs too weakened for loud speech. Exhausted by this effort, he collapsed back on the bed, gasping for breath. "Just leave me the hell alone…." He begged weakly. To his fury and humiliation, Madeleine laughed delightedly at this response. "Good," she said again, pleased. "It's time you woke up and got back to yourself again. You've been out of it for three days…" Brian blinked at this news, and turned his head to stare at her curiously. "Three… DAYS..?" he choked out hoarsely. The lovely brunette nodded. "You gave us quite a scare, Doctor," she told him with a gentle smile. "Apparently you had an reaction to the type of sedative we gave you in the pill…." She leaned forward, shaking her head. "Fortunately, we were monitoring you when you collapsed and stopped breathing, otherwise…." She shrugged nonchalantly, not bothering to finish her sentence. Brian did it for her. "Otherwise, I would have died…" he whispered, a tone of longing in his voice for this possibility. He shut his eyes and sighed deeply once more. "Why didn't you let me?" he asked miserably. Madeleine gave a light, tinkling laugh. "I don't think Michael would have liked that," she commented dryly. Again, Brian's eyes flew open. He struggled to sit up, staring at her in shock. "He's… he's not… dead?" the young doctor gasped hopefully. "No, he's not dead," Madeleine pronounced gently, in an almost compassionate tone. "The tranquilizer just knocked him out, that's all…" She leaned forward to pat Brian's hand reassuringly. "He's fine…." Brian let out a swift, ragged sigh of relief, and then clutched her fingers in his, gripping them with all his remaining strength. "And Lucinda?" he demanded roughly, his eyes boring into hers. "Is she dead, or just crippled like you wanted her to be?" the doctor spat out angrily. Madeleine smiled serenely and wriggled her fingers free from his, then patted his cheek patronizingly. "At the moment, " she told him, "Just the latter." The brown eyes that met his twinkled merrily. "But there's no need to worry about her…" Brian struggled to sit up, fighting his weakness. If Madeleine had been close enough to reach, he was sure he would have strangled her with his bare hands. "Christ!" he swore angrily. "I don't believe this!" His eyes blazed with fury. "You pushed that innocent girl into having a relapse of her disease, and you say there's no reason to worry?" the doctor shook his head in disgust. "You made me hurt her, and you don't even care…" Brian whispered miserably, voice choked with tears. "What kind of monster are you?" Madeleine shook her head, still serene. "Let me correct you, Doctor," she explained, obviously unashamed by her actions. "Lucinda being disabled again was not a SIDE-EFFECT of the drug we gave her…" Madeleine tilted her head, watching Brian intently for his reaction. She leaned forward, whispering softly. "It was the purpose of drugging her in the first place…." Brian's breath caught in his throat; he was too shocked to speak. He fought for breath, his mind whirling. This was too sick, too depravedly cruel, even for Madeleine. Brian could hardly take in the horror of it. At last, he managed to suck in enough air to choke out an anguished question. "Why?" He gasped hoarsely, tears in his eyes. "Why would you want her to be paralyzed again?" He covered his eyes, burying his face in his hands. "What possible good could it do to put that girl in a wheelchair again?" he sobbed brokenly. In response, Madeleine rose swiftly from her chair and was by the bed, by Brian's side. She reached out to him and firmly took Brian's chin in her hand, tilting his head back and forcing him to look at her. "You should realize by now, Doctor," she told him gently, "That everything we do here has a purpose…' She released his chin and stepped back, her gaze locking with Brian's startled blue eyes. "In this case," she said demurely, folding her hands in front of her, "Inducing her illness saved her life…." Brian gasped. "WHAT?" he demanded with a choked cry. "What do you mean?" He stared at her in shock. The Section strategist sat down again, crossing her legs in a lady-like way. She settled in her chair and cleared her throat. "I'll explain," she went on serenely, giving him another polite smile. "You see, Doctor," she began softly, "Although your plan to use certain drugs to complete the mission was a good one, we already had a contingency plan in place…" The brown eyes gazed steadily into his. "We knew almost right away that Miss Deveraux would not be suitable for this mission, no matter what training or conditioning was given her…" Madeleine sighed deeply. "It was clear that Oversight would reach the same conclusion, and order Lucinda to be disposed of…." Brian flinched, listening with wide-eyed attention. He held his breath. Madeleine went on. "But if the girl was merely sick, if her inability to perform was due to a physical condition beyond her control, as opposed to just failing on the mission, well, then…" the strategist said sweetly, shrugging her shoulders. "Oversight would have no objection to letting her go…." She smiled proudly. "It was the kindest thing to do," she proclaimed gently. Brian gasped, his mouth falling open in amazement. "You think making her live in a wheel-chair for the rest of her days was being KIND?" He demanded, appalled. "You BITCH!" the doctor shouted, enraged. "You're ….sick…." Undisturbed, Madeleine went on smiling. "The paralysis is only temporary," she told him serenely. "Miss Deveraux will have no feeling in her legs for about another week, at which time her nerve function will return to normal, at a gradual pace, of course…." The brunette nodded her head cheerfully. "She'll be fine." Brian let out the breath he was holding, amazed to feel this overpowering gratitude for this hated, long-time enemy. "Thank you…." He choked out roughly, relief flooding him, making him feel once again weak. He looked pleadingly into Madeleine's eyes. "Is she here, in Medlab?" he asked anxiously. "Can I see her?" The beautiful nemesis smiled once more. "No," she answered softly. "Lucinda isn't here. She's already free; she's been released to her own doctor's care and is now in a local hospital." She leaned forward to pat Brian's hand again. "You needn't worry about her, Brian," she assured him kindly. Brian grasped Madeleine's fingers again, this time more gently that before. "Don't go," he begged her, sitting up eagerly. "What about the mission?" he asked worriedly. "How are you going to get Oliver now, without the video-tape?" He swallowed hard, and eyed her nervously. "Is Oversight going to punish Michael for this failure?" Madeleine merely laughed, and then settled into her chair again. "Well, well, Doctor," she said in a tone of warm amusement. " I see I was quite right about the fact that you fit into Section. Your concern for the mission outcome proves that. I was indeed correct in calling you a team player after all…." She shook her head and went on merrily. As far as Oversight is concerned, there was no failure," she told him in dulcet tones. "And there is no need for punishment…" Brian stared at her, confounded and confused. "I don't understand…" he gasped. "How is that possible?" Madeleine sighed contentedly. "As far as Oversight is concerned, you, Michael, and Lucinda did your best, but it was Section that… er… screwed up by miscalculating the dose of drugs to give the three of you…." She nodded her head slightly. "We took the blame for that, not you…." Brian squirmed uneasily on the bed, alarmed. "Are they angry at you now, then?" he asked, concerned. "Will they punish you instead?" "No, not at all," Madeleine answered calmly. "Oliver is already ours." "W-WHAT?" Brian sputtered, shocked. "H-How?" "It was easy, really," Madeleine explained. "Between the all the various video footage we had of you- You and Michael in bed together, and Mariette with her all lovers-- Birkoff and our team of digital specialists were able to assemble quite a convincing tape of the three of you in the throes of passion…." "Oliver found it quite entertaining, until we burst in and captured him…" She tilted her head at the shocked young physician, smiling slyly. "I could show the tape to you, if you like…" she teased him. Brian blinked in astonishment. "No!" he choked out, eyes wide. "No! No, thank you…." The doctor whispered, blushing. "Very well," said Madeleine, rising to her feet. "In that case, if there's nothing more, I'll leave you now to rest…." She rose to her feet and flashed him one last parting smile. Before he could gather his thoughts together to ask any more questions, she was gone. His mind whirling, Brian lay back on the pillows and closed his eyes, trying to process everything he had heard. Lucinda was free- of Section, but not of her disease. She was more a prisoner of it than ever. Did she hate him? Did she blame him? She was probably lying in her hospital bed wondering if she would ever walk again, wondering why Brian had wanted her to be crippled again, why he had drugged her…. The young doctor groaned and rolled onto his side. His thoughts turned to the other person who had been hurt by this scheme-- Michael. Things were just beginning to come right between them, when Brian had given Michael the drugs that he thought had been simple painkillers. But the dose had not reduced pain, but rather brought it. The last thing Brian remembered before he lost consciousness himself was the image of Michael writhing in agony on the bed. Did Michael believe that Brian had wanted to hurt him like that? Did he think that Brian had deliberately deceived and poisoned him, out of some twisted need for vengeance, to get back at him for the hurt he had caused? Did Michael hate him now, too? Like Lucinda did? Brian let out a ragged sob and buried his face in the pillow, his back to the room. He curled up in a fetal position and clutched his sides, as if trying to protect his guts from pain, but it was no use. His heart ached abominably. "Michael, don't…" he sobbed brokenly. "Don't…. hate me….. please…." He was crying so hard, he hadn't heard the door open quietly, or the soft foot steps by the bed. Startled out of his skin, Brian jumped in shock when he felt the firm, warm hand touch his back. Flinching, he twisted around to see who this visitor was, his eyes going wide with shock. "M-Michael?" Brian gasped, staring at him with growing fear. The older man's face was unreadably blank; Michael said nothing, just stood gazing at him solemnly. The green eyes bored into his intently. Brian swallowed hard and struggled to sit up, cowering back from the silently intimidating operative. Ashamed and more than a little afraid, Brian lifted one hand to wipe away his tears. To his surprise, Michael reached out and did it for him. The warm hand that brushed the curve of Brian's cheek was as gentle and tender as a mother's touch on a new-born baby. "Don't cry, Brian…" Michael told him huskily, the green eyes softening with warm love. "I don't hate you…." Brian sucked in a sharp breath, lips parting, struggling to take it all in. "You… you don't?" he choked out roughly, eyes locking with Michael's. The older man shook his handsome, auburn head. A smile creased the lines around his eyes and lifted the corners of the full, sensuous mouth. "No," he said softly, his voice gentle with assurance. "And Lucinda doesn't either….." ************ Brian gaped at him in shock. "Lucinda doesn't hate me?" he echoed blankly. The doctor shook his head, and sighed. "How do you know that? She HAS to, after what she thinks I did…" Brian's lower lip trembled. "And why shouldn't she? I…." Michael stopped him from saying more by settling beside Brian on the bed and putting his hand firmly on Brian's shoulder. He stared into the tear-filled blue eyes. "She doesn't," Michael stated boldly. "She understands everything now," he added wryly with another warm smile, "After I explained it all to her…." Brian was so shocked he almost swallowed his tongue. "WHAT?" he choked out, struggling for breath. He let out a short, sharp gasp. "Holy goddamned SH*T!" the doctor exclaimed. "My God, Michael, are you telling me you went to SEE her?" His friend nodded, and smiled once more. "Yes," he answered softly. "The hospital is not to far from here, and it was easy to get in after I … borrowed some green scrubs and a lab-coat from your office…." Michael confessed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Brian dared to grin. "So you went as Doctor Michael Whicker, I presume?" The medical imposter inclined his head. "At your service," he acknowledged politely, his smile broadening. Brian leaned forward eagerly. "How was she?" he asked anxiously. "Was she okay?" Michael patted Brian's arm again reassuringly. "Yes, she's really okay," he told him firmly. "The feeling was just beginning to come back in her legs, and when I told her the numbness would be completely gone in a week or so, she cried from happiness…" Brian sighed deeply, tears welling in his eyes. "She's a good person," he choked out, voice trembling. "She didn't deserve to have a scare like that…." Michael sighed as well and squeezed Brian's arm. "You're a good person, too, Brian," he said with rough emotion. "Lucinda knows that…." His grip tightened once more. "And so do I…." Brian met the green eyes, his gaze solemn. "So, Madeleine explained everything to you?" he asked in a whisper. "She told you what drugs I had really planned to use on you…." The doctor looked away uncertainly. "Yes," Michael answered gruffly. He let out a slow, deep breath. "Unfortunately, the sedatives you chose for me would have been too mild to work quickly enough, so Madeleine substituted something a bit… harsher…." He grimaced ruefully, remembering. "Are you really okay now, Michael?" Brian asked, wide-eyed. "You're recovered from all the effects?" he asked, concerned. Michael nodded thoughtfully. "Almost….." he said tightly. Brian blinked. "Almost?" he echoed, once again afraid. His friend scowled sharply. "I'm still angry that Madeleine drugged you into being so sick again," he whispered roughly. The green eyes filled with sudden, stinging tears. "And I'm still not over being terrified that you almost died…." He choked out. Michael reached out to caress Brian's cheek once more. "I thought I'd lost you…" Brian let out a soft whimper and let himself be enfolded in Michael's arms. The two brothers found new strength in this embrace, each drawing comfort from the reassuring feel of their two hearts beating each against the other. Michael let himself relax in Brian's warm arms, nestling his head on the doctor's broad shoulder. He sighed deeply. Letting his usual reserve and caution go, he said the words he felt in his heart- he said them now, in case there was never another chance to do so… "I love you, Brian…." Michael choked out. "I don't want anything to ever come between us again…." Brian gasped sharply, then pulled out of the embrace to look into Michael's eyes. "I love you, too, man…" he responded softly, his voice choked with emotion. The blue eyes clouded over with remembered pain. "I think it was the worst time I ever had, these past few weeks, thinking you hated me…." Michael's eyes softened. "But I didn't, I never could…." he reassured his friend, laying his hand on his shoulder. "I'm beginning to think that Madeleine orchestrated this whole thing to test us, to see if the bond between us could be broken…." He shook his head and then gave Brian a dazzling smile. "It couldn't," he stated with warm affection. "We belong together, you know…." Brian smiled back, albeit uncertainly. He shifted uncomfortably on the bed, giving Michael an anxious glance. "Michael," he began hesitantly. "Could we talk about it? About….. us?" Michael sat up straighter, a little taken aback. "I thought we WERE talking about us," he replied, one eyebrow going up. "Weren't we?" The young doctor blushed and looked down at the bedcovers. "Yeah, but I… you see, uh…" Brian stammered. He cleared his throat, heaved a big sigh, and started over, raising earnest blue eyes to Michael's startled green. "Look, man, I know we both FEEL the same thing, but do we WANT the same thing?" Brian pleaded urgently. "We love each other, there's no two ways about it, but…." He licked his lips nervously. "But how does that play out in real life? What do we DO with that love?" Michael blinked, confused. "Do.. with it?" he asked uncertainly. "I don't understand…" Brian sighed and ran his hand through his tousled hair. "Okay, I guess I'll just come right out and say it…." He lifted his head and looked the other man right in the eye. "Michael, I adore you beyond words, as a lover, and as a friend…." He took a deep, shaky breath and finished in a rush, "But I think you need me to be your friend right now, not your lover…" Brian reached impulsively forward and placed his hand on Michael's shoulder, gripping hard. "What I'm trying to say is, I'll always want you in my bed, but I don't think I'd be really loving you if I didn't let you go, so that you'd have the chance to be with the one who could really make you happy….." The green eyes looked solemnly into his. "Nikita…" Michael whispered. Brian smiled at him. "Yeah, man, Nikita…" he agreed gently. "When she gets back, I think you ought to go for it… Lay it all out, tell her how you feel- make her see she's the only one for you…" He blushed again, and looked away. "And I'd like a chance to work things out with Ann…." "You're right," Michael said after a long pause, letting out a short breath of exasperation at himself. He smiled. "I'm sorry I'm so stupid, but…." He said, shaking his head ruefully, "But things have been so crazy that I hadn't had a chance to really work out in my mind what I really wanted, how I felt….." He sighed again, and met Brian's eyes. "After the conditioning, I wasn't sure what- who- I wanted anymore," Michael went on in soft whisper. "I didn't trust any of my emotions…" His eyes flickered softly over Brian's face. "I just knew I didn't want to hurt you…." Brian nodded, knowing that Michael was still vulnerable and confused, and that he was still influenced by his past guilt, and perhaps by Madeleine's manipulative programming. It struck the young doctor that if he wanted to, he could have pushed for a sexual relationship between them, and Michael, feeling the way he did, would have gone along with that arrangement. Right then, Michael would have done anything Brian asked. But Brian loved Michael too much to use him for his own ends. God knows, Michael had already been used and manipulated enough. And, in his heart of hearts, Brian knew that, whatever their relationship might have been in other life-times, that THIS time they were meant to be not lovers, but brothers. It was what felt right, what gave the gentle young doctor a feeling of deep peace inside. "Trust me now, Michael," Brian urged. "Trust your heart, too…." He shifted forward on the bed and took Michael into his arms once more. "Be my friend, my.. brother…" he choked out roughly into Michael's ear, "And be a lover with the woman you love…." Michael sighed raggedly, and clutched Brian tight. "Oui…" he agreed breathlessly, lapsing into French from deep emotion. "Oui, tu est mon frere, mon cher ami, qui je t'aime…" He pulled back from the embrace with another deep sigh. The green eyes glowed with desire, but not for Brian. "You're right," Michael breathed out softly. "I want her…." He confessed with a gentle smile. "I ….need her…." He smiled wider. "Just like I need you as my brother…." He whispered roughly. Brian smiled back, and slapped Michael hard on the shoulder. "Then go for it," he encouraged his friend with a warm grin, feeling like his world had come right at last. The future looked bright for all of them- Michael, Brian, Nikita, Ann- and for Lucinda, too. Life was definitely worth living. "Go on, get out of here, and start planning Nikita's welcome home party…" Brian teased. Michael smiled back, and stood up. His face glowed with happiness, and something else, an emotion he seldom felt- Hope. "All right, I'll go," he agreed gently, "But there's something I have to give you first." Brian's eyes widened. "Give… me?" he asked, surprised. Michael nodded. "Yes," he answered, his eyes twinkling. "Something from Lucinda…" Before Brian had a chance to respond, Michael leaned down, took Brian's face in his hands, and then bent his head to his. He planted a soft, yet passionately firm kiss on the startled young doctor's mouth. Brian moaned, half from shock, half from pleasure. The kiss was undoubtedly sweet, sincere, and heart-felt, coming from the depths of Michael's soul. Brian felt his own heart melt inside. At last, after what seemed like a long time for both of them, but was only a moment, Michael gently broke the kiss. "Thank you.." he whispered roughly. "From Lucinda…" He leaned down and brushed his mouth against Brian's once again, this kiss lighter, but no less heart-felt. "And from me… he added warmly. Brian could only stare at him, stunned. He stifled the urge to say "Wow!" and settled for smiling widely instead. "You're welcome…." He managed to quip with a lop-sided grin. "Anytime, Dude…" Michael smiled back, and then strutted to the door, his stride sure and confident once more. He loved, and was loved in return. He knew his own heart now, was sure of his own emotions. Brian had reflected himself back to him, had honored him with this gift of freedom, had given him enough respect to let him go. It was the mark of a true, selfless love, that Brian had not tried to control Michael for his own ends, but had rather allowed him the space and freedom to follow his own heart. It made Michael love Brian all the more. A love like that was something Section could never understand, Michael mused to himself. Madeleine had used drugs and conditioning to force them together, then to break them apart. But both of those attempts to destroy them had failed. No amount of artificial influence from the outside could ever break the bond between them, or shake the innate decency and goodness that made up Brian's soul, and, Michael was discovering, that made up his own. Brian saw something worthy in him, and Michael was just beginning to think that he may be right…. His thoughts shifted to another tangent, a face coming up unbidden on the screen of his mind's eye. Nikita, beautiful, but wary and vulnerable, shy of him, afraid… Michael's sensuous mouth firmed. He could persuade her, he thought resolutely. He could influence her to trust him again, to love him…. The differences, the misunderstandings between them could be healed; Brian had taught him that…. Michael smiled, his heart filled with hope. He would try…… ************ Lucinda sauntered through the crowded, smoky nightclub from her table to the bar, smiling at her friends on the dance floor along the way. She was in a wonderful mood; since getting out of the hospital two weeks ago, she had a new appreciation for life and everything about it. Being able to walk again, as well as being free from Section, had made her cherish every moment of freedom now. Life was beautiful, and precious, and she wouldn't waste it by taking anything for granted. She would savor every moment… She was happy, she realized. Nothing had changed, really, in her life. She had the same dorm room at her college, the same challenging classes and quirky professors, the same friends who like things wilder and louder than she did. She was still here in the bar as the responsible one, the designated driver. She still didn't have a boyfriend. But none of those challenges or problems mattered; everything was too beautiful for that. Sometimes it took getting gifts taken away to make you appreciate them, she mused. The only bad thing was that she missed them. She missed Brian and Michael. They had cared about her, had made her feel special. They were both kind, and gallant, and handsome, and both very good kissers…. Lucinda blushed at her own thoughts. She sighed, wishing she could find someone that she could feel the same way about in her real life. But she knew that Brian and Michael were now just fantasy men, men to dream about; she would never encounter anyone like that here…. Lost in thought, staring at the floor, Lucinda didn't realize that someone had come to stand in front of her until she practically bumped into him. "Oh! Excuse me!" they both said at the same time. Lucinda looked up and was instantly lost in the soft green gaze. Her breath caught in her throat. The boy in front of her had eyes just like Michael's- hazy gray green with a hint of blue, compelling eyes, eyes you could drown in. She tore her gaze away from them and looked up. The boy had tousled black curls, just like Brian. He was tall like Brian, too, and his mouth was full and sensuous, like Michael's. He was smiling, a smile as sweet as Brian's. The boy blushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be a klutz…." He apologized in embarrassment. Lucinda blushed as well, then licked dry lips. "Uh, it's okay, no problem…" she squeaked out breathlessly, having suddenly lost the power of speech. The two young people stared at each other longingly for a moment, neither quite sure what to do. Lucinda's heart sank. She didn't know what to say to him to get him to stay. In a moment he would be gone…. Amazingly, the boy did not leave. He cleared his throat nervously, then asked her a question. "Uh, could I buy you a drink?" he pleaded anxiously. "It's the least I could do after almost trampling you…." Lucinda beamed at him and resisted the urge to crow in delight. "Oh, yes, thanks!" she replied eagerly. "That would be great…." Her escort smiled back in relief and relaxed a little, then shyly took her hand and led her to the bar. They found two stools together and after seating Lucinda, the boy dragged his eyes away from her long enough to catch the bartender's eye. "Two Pepsi's, please," he ordered. Lucinda looked up at him, startled. "How did you know what I was drinking?" she asked in surprise. The boy blushed once more. "Uh.. well, I…" the beautiful young man stammered. "I noticed you in here a few weeks ago, and I asked the bartender about you….." Lucinda's eyes widened. "You did?" she gasped in amazement. The boy flushed once more in embarrassment. "He said you were a designated driver for a group of your friends, just like I was, and…" He paused, and bit his full lower lip with perfect white teeth. "And.. uh.. I just wanted to get to know you that's all…" The gray-green eyes flickered pleadingly up to hers. "I think you're pretty, and really nice, and…. And…." The boy stammered to a halt, looking awkward and miserable. Lucinda, made newly confident by this blatant admiration, came to his rescue. "What's your name?" she asked with a combination of cool sophistication and kindness. "I'd like to get to know you, too.." The boy let out a gasp of relief and beamed at her. "Ronnie," he said earnestly, holding out his hand for her to shake. "Glad to meet you…" She took his hand and shook it once, then forgot to let go. She smiled into those beautiful eyes. "I'm Lucinda…." She said breathlessly. The boy blushed again. "I know," he confessed shyly. "I asked the bartender that, too…" Lucinda laughed happily. "Remind me to leave him a big tip," she remarked gaily. Her brown eyes twinkled merrily up at her new beau and the dimple at the side of her mouth deepened charmingly. Still holding Ronnie's hand, she pulled the boy to his feet. "I feel like dancing," she stated boldly. "Is that okay with you?" Ronnie smiled as if he had died and gone to Heaven. "I'd love that…" he gushed eagerly. Shyly, he put his arm around her and led her to the dance floor. Swaying in Ronnie's arms, her head full of music and daydreams, Lucinda closed her eyes and said a little prayer. "Thank you…" she whispered in gratitude to the Fates that could be both cruel and kind. She had thought that those fates had taken Brian and Michael away from her, but now she held someone just as sweet in her arms. She thought that they had taken her ability to walk from her, but here she was dancing. Lucinda laughed out loud. Life was so good. And somewhere above her, the angels laughed as well…
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