Have You Ever Wondered... Why Do All The Doors In Section One Groan? - 1/1

(Takes place very early in Season One)
Disclaimer: borrowed these characters from LFN, strictly for enjoyment

By KT
Copyright June, 2002

Nikita sauntered toward Walter's station, her short pleated skirt swirling from side to side as she cracked her gum obnoxiously. Her new purple sunglasses hung down over the middle of her nose, and her pert pink lips changed from heart-shaped to pucker as she chewed. Unruly wisps of blonde hair stuck out from her ponytail, and her ice blue eyes flashed defiantly as she observed Michael's broad back, his black jacket draped fashionably over his powerful frame. A large pink bubble emerged from her mouth and popped soundlessly as she hung back around the corner, just out of view. The two men were talking in hushed tones, and Nikita stood perfectly still, straining to make out what they were saying.

"Look, Michael, I just can't do it."

"Why not?"

"Orders."

Michael paused a beat. "Orders?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Really." Michael's curiosity was clearly piqued. "Whose?"

"Operations. And Madeline."

"You're joking."

"Who me? Never."

Nikita couldn't see their faces, but felt sure that Walter was smiling and Michael was not. The next few moments were spent in pregnant silence. Michael was not backing down.

"What orders?"

Nikita could hear Walter's feet shuffling, and his hands playing with something that emitted a metallic clink. His gravelly voice was fraught with supressed mirth.

"See here, Michael, I promised..."

"This is ridiculous."

"May be." Nikita heard Walter walk a few steps. "Now, I've got work to do, if you don't mind."

"But I do mind." Walter stopped moving as Michael prodded him. "Tell me."

Nikita crept forward a bit, still out of sight, completely fascinated by the exchange. Imagine Michael actually carrying on an extended conversation with Walter. She had been so sure there was absolutely nothing human about the man. Still, no one could be immune to Walter, not even Michael. It seemed that the munitions expert had come to a decision.

"OK." Walter chuckled. "Here's the deal. I have orders never to lubricate the hinges of any doors in Section. In fact, I regularly spray them all with water so they'll stay nice and dry. What you then get is metal on metal."

"And very noisy doors."

"Right. Very noisy doors."

"And those are your orders?"

"Yup."

"And you never asked why?"

"Well, actually I did."

Silence.

"And...?"

"What's it to you?"

Nikita could hear Michael do that menacing thing with his voice. "Walter..."

"OK, OK. I won't make you beg. I told Operations I wouldn't carry out such a dumb order without some kind of reasonable explanation. So he told me. Something about seeing a horror movie with doors that creaked and groaned... He and Madeline were making out in the theater like a couple of teenagers, and using the sound effects in the movie to cover up their own noises. Like anyone wouldn't know what was happening." Walter's natural bent for sarcasm took over, and Nikita barely choked back a giggle. "Guess every time they hear the doors groan, they remember that night. Their first date. I can just imagine..."

He was cut off mid-sentence by a sound that Nikita had never heard before: Michael laughing. A quiet laugh, to be sure, but a laugh nonetheless. She nearly gave her presence away as the urge to follow suit died in her throat. Who would have dreamed? Operations and Madeline on a date! Their first date! It really was too funny.

Nikita was now in silent stitches, leaning against the wall, clutching her sides. That ominous groaning as the door to the white Interrogation Room opened and closed. The huge metallic sound of the door to Van Access as it creaked and clanked shut. Intimidating. Heavy. Portentous.

Hysterical.

"So you can just tear up that requisition for a case of WD-40, Michael. Ain't never gonna happen." Nikita heard Walter go into scolding uncle mode. "And if I catch you oiling any of those hinges..."

~FIN~