It was a fight keeping my face from showing my fear. I have just sent the only woman I can ever love into a potentially deadly situation. I know the others in the van are thinking the same thing. They all hate me in the moment, hate me for risking her in this.

But no more than I hate myself.

It has to be done and she is the only one I trust to do it. My voice speaks in her ear; I am always with her. I watch her move on the screen and it is not the same. I coach her needlessly to allay the fears I cannot admit.

"Come in." Come into me, let me hold you in my arms and know that you are mine, for all time. Come in and let me begin to breathe again.

Of course she succeeded.

My eyes slam into hers, and when her cool blue gaze retrns my dark one, I show her my need to hold her and if I could bring her close to my heart, I would.

There is always an audience.

"Let's go."

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