Uncle Walter, Part XIII

Walter sat in the back of his work area sorting out the newly-arrived supplies. What was I thinking, he asked himself, to have told Michael that I would baby-sit little Rene. What do I know about little kids....babies, even? Walter had visited Michael and Simone several times and had gotten along famously with their young son. He smiled at the memory of holding that tiny bundle of the joy of Michael's existence....Michael's and Simone's existence, he corrected himself. Walter had noticed the difference between the attention that Michael gave to his son and the attention that Simone paid to the child. Michael's joy in his son radiated from him, while Simone was somewhat detached. Walter chided himself for such uncharitable thoughts toward Simone. He knew she loved Rene. He saw it each time she held the child, but her love was not all-consuming the way Michael's was.

Walter hurried with his task, so that he would be ready to leave at the end of his shift. He didn't want to keep Rene in the belly of the beast any longer than he had to, and he especially didn't want to draw Operations' or Madeline's ire for having the child in Section. Those predators would probably serve the kid up for supper. He smiled grimly. Well, maybe not supper, but Rene would make a tasty snack for the two of them. Walter shuddered at his imagery. He would take the child and quickly be on his way. Where were those two kids, he thought impatiently....Their briefing was only minutes away.

Walter slowly shook his head from side to side....remembering...Michael had just been elevated to Level 5. Walter had passed him in the hall, had stopped and slapped him on the back. "Congratulations, Kid! I just heard the good news. Level 5! You deserve it." Michael had smiled shyly, and his green eyes had twinkled a bit. Walter knew that Michael had worked very hard and had endured much to achieve his new status. As quickly as the smile appeared, it disappeared.

"Walter, a favor, please?" Michael spoke quietly, not wishing for passersby to hear what he was saying to Walter.

"Yeah, Kid. What is it? What do I have to do to ingratiate myself with Section's newest Level 5 operative?" He said, grinning.

Michael leaned toward Walter and made his request. "In future, please do not call me Kid in the presence of others. Please?" Walter looked a bit surprised and his expression drifted from grin to frown and back to a big, beaming smile.

Just as Michael had done earlier, he leaned in, so as not to be overheard and said seriously, "Sure, Michael, I understand perfectly. No more 'Hey, kid!'"

The only expression Michael allowed was a quick quirk of the corner of his mouth. He bowed his head to Walter and continued down the hall on the way to the new office that was befitting of his new status. Walter grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "But Michael...between friends, you'll always be my kid!" Michael raised one eyebrow and grinned at Walter.

"Okay, but just between us...I must maintain my dignity in front of the others." From that day on, Walter never again called Michael "Kid" in front of others in Section. But when it was just the two of them or in front of Simone, Michael would forever be "Kid" to Walter.

Walter's musings were interrupted by a babyish giggle and he looked up to see Michael hurrying in with one arm wrapped around a smiling Rene and with a portable playpen hanging off the other arm. Simone followed behind him with Rene's gear.

"Moving in, are we, Kid? Here, let me take that." Walter relieved Simone of the duffel bag she carried and he also took the portable playpen from Michael. "This is quite a roadshow you have here!"

An apologetic Michael quickly explained their dilemma more fully than he had on the phone. Walter took Rene from Michael's arms and the two-year-old wrapped his pudgy arms around the old man's neck. "Unca Walwal" Rene murmured into Walter's ear. A beatific smile broke upon Walter's face and he gave Rene a big hug.

"And how is my little man today?" Rene giggled and buried his head against Walter's chest, and hugged Walter back. "We are going to have a lot of fun while you two are working. I'll take good care of him."

Michael put his hand on Walter's arm and gave it a squeeze. "Of course you will, Walter. Thanks for helping us out." He glanced at his watch and then at Simone. "We'd better hurry. The briefing is starting in a few minutes." Michael leaned over and kissed Rene on the forehead. "You be a good boy. Daddy and Mommy will see you when we get back."

Rene disengaged his arms from around Walter's neck and extended his arms toward Michael. "Daddeeeee.....stay!" His little fingers opened and closed repeatedly as he reached for his father. Michael's heart just about melted as he beheld his son. "Daddeeeee.....!" Michael took Rene from Walter's arms and gave him a hug.

"Rene, my little one, you must stay with Uncle Walter. Mommy and I will be back soon. I promise." He watched disheartened as big baby tears started to run down Rene's face. Michael hugged him one more time and gently thrust him back into Walter's arms. Simone stepped up into the space vacated by Michael who took a few steps back from Walter. She hugged and kissed Rene and then turned away to follow Michael. Rene sniffled for a few seconds as he watched his parents walk away from him. Then he once again buried his head against Walter's chest and began to play with the turquoise necklace that hung around Walter's neck.

"Come on, little man, let's see what kind of mischief we can get into while Mommy and Daddy are working." He carried the toddler back into his work area and attempted to set up the playpen one-handed. Frustrated, he sat Rene down in the floor and finished setting up the playpen. Scooping Rene up, Walter set him down inside the playpen and went to finish up what he was working on, so that he and Rene could leave Section.

Rene sat in the middle of his playpen and began playing with his teddy as he carefully observed Walter's movements. He smiled as he thought that it might be fun to climb out of his playpen and explore this interesting new world in which he found himself....

The Adventurer, Part XIV

Rene, at two years and seven months, was an adventurous child. He loved climbing. His parents and Colette had to watch him very closely because they never knew when he would indulge in his favorite pastime. Michael had come home one day and found Rene sitting on top of the dining room table. Alarmed, Rene's father had scooped him up and called out for Rene's mother. She had come running when she heard her husband's voice, and was amazed when he very curtly told her where he had found Rene.

"But...but I had left the room for only a few seconds. How did he get up there so fast?" She was nonplused and a bit upset at the caustic nature of Michael's criticism. Simone had teared up and tried hard not to cry. Michael had instantly encircled her with one of his arms and pulled her into a tight hug with Rene in the center.

"I'm sorry, my love, I spoke too harshly. We'll just have to watch him more closely...I must say, though, that he comes by the climbing honestly. My mother once told me that I did the same thing. I climbed on everything. She said that one day she found me sitting on top of the cook stove. Fortunately, she hadn't been cooking, so it was cool. My backside was not so cool after she swatted it a few times. I soon learned what I should NOT climb on." Michael smiled at the distant memory and looked down at his wife. He leaned down and kissed her, hoping that he had not hurt her feelings too badly with his thoughtless words.

Michael was sitting in the Section van on his way to a mission when he remembered that he had forgotten to warn Walter about Rene's proclivity to climb out of or into almost anything. He leaned his head back and sighed. He hoped that Walter was watching Rene in case his adventurous son decided to start exploring. Michael looked at his watch. At least, he thought, Walter and Rene were most likely at Walter's apartment at this very moment.

In fact, Walter and Rene were not at his apartment. A flash mission had been profiled and Walter's departure had been delayed. He had just given Rene his bottle and put him down for a nap when he got the call from Madeline that he would be needed. Walter knew he couldn't wriggle out of this one, so he stayed with Rene until the child obediently went to sleep, his teddy by his side.

When he was sure that Rene was asleep, Walter walked quietly away from the playpen and started assembling the equipment required for the flash mission team. He worked quickly, in a hurry to finish so he could take Michael's son away from the purgatory in which the child's parents worked. Rene slept on peacefully, until a woman's voice interrupted his slumber.

"Walter," the disembodied voice said, "I know you are in a hurry to go home, but could you please attend the briefing for this mission? We need your expertise."

Rene's eyes popped open when he heard the woman say his Uncle Walter's name. Using both fists to rub his eyes, Rene lay silently for a few seconds, taking in all the strange sights around him. The tall metal shelves with different sized boxes stacked on them caught his eye. He liked boxes, even though his mother had scolded him when she had found him sitting in the middle of kitchen playing with the things he had carefully removed from the big boxes that slid out from the cabinets. Everything was shiny, and Rene liked shiny. He liked looking at himself in the shiny objects, and was fascinated by the green eyes that looked back at him from the shiny things.

Slowly, Rene sat up in his playpen and looked for his Daddy or his Mommy. He couldn't find them and then he remembered that they had gone away with promises to be back soon. They had left him with Uncle Walter because Tante Colette had gone away and he couldn't stay with her. Rene liked Uncle Walter. He was funny and made Rene laugh. He let Rene play with things that his parents kept away from him, and he always had something around his neck or in his pockets with which Rene could play. Rene craned his neck looking around for his Uncle Walter. He began to fret a bit, because he didn't like to be left alone, and he especially didn't like being away from his Daddy. His Daddy smelled good and he liked the way his Daddy held him and sang him little songs. His Daddy had the nicest voice and Rene smiled as he thought about how his Daddy would murmur and sing to him when he couldn't go to sleep. Just his Daddy's voice was enough to soothe him to sleep...that and the closeness of his father's caress.

Rene knew how much his both of his parents loved him, but he had always preferred the arms of his father curled around him more than his mother's. His Mommy almost seemed afraid of him. She cuddled him, but it just wasn't the same as how his Daddy cuddled him. He always felt safest in his Daddy's arms.

Even as he craved the safety of his father's arms, little Rene was scrambling to his feet in the middle of the playpen and he quickly grasped the siderail of his playpen as he stuck his toes into the mesh of the sides of the playpen and began to climb. Very carefully, Rene put his chubby little leg over the side of the playpen and made sure his toes were curled in the mesh of the outside of the playpen before he pulled his other leg over the side and proceeded to climb down. Soon his bare feet found the cool concrete floor and he let go of the mesh of the playpen. Rene sat down with a plop, his thick diaper absorbing most of the shock of hitting the ground He was fairly new to this walking thing and he wanted to decide what looked the most interesting before he started exploring. He didn't see Uncle Walter anywhere.

He grinned to himself. This was going to be a great adventure! His wide green eyes took in his surroundings as he tried to decide which way looked the most enticing. Rene was sitting in the storage area of Walter's station, away from the main area of Section, so all he could hear was the sound of the voices coming from Comm. Being shy, but with an adventurous nature, Rene pulled himself up to his feet and took a few baby steps toward the voices, but at the last minute, changed his mind and scurried down the aisle that led further back into Walter's storage area. He rather liked the look of all those nifty boxes. Rene couldn't wait to find out what was in them.

Several minutes later, Rene sat happily amid the contents of the one box that he was able to pry the lid off of with his baby strength. He was playfully unwinding all of the colored wire from the many spools that he had found inside the box. Rene was totally unaware of the figure that walked swiftly and silently up behind him. Michael's son yelped loudly as two hands grabbed him under the arms and he felt his stomach do flip-flops as he was lifted quickly into the air and held out at arms length, legs dangling in mid-air, by the person who had scooped him up.

Rene screamed in fright as he stared into eyes that seemed to flash with anger and tenderness all at the same time. "What the...the....hell!" stammered the man as he tried frantically to quieten the frightened screams of the child who never should have happened......

The Baby-Sitter, Part XV

Rene continued screaming as the man holding him finally came to his senses and attempted to cradle the frightened child against his chest. Rene fought him every step of the way, slinging his little fists every which way. When one of the fists connected with the man's nose, he yelled and caught the child's hand in his own.

"Young man, THIS MUST STOP!!" His voice held so much authority that Rene abruptly stopped his screaming and looked at Operations with wide, frightened green eyes. "That's much better. I can't imagine your father would be happy with the way you have been acting. Now, what is a little one like yourself doing here all alone? I'll bet that Walter got drafted to do a bit of baby-sitting. He's not doing a very good job, is he?"

Rene gazed up at Operations with eyes that were beginning to lose their fearfulness as sleepiness began to make them droop. This man had a powerful presence just like his Daddy, but his Daddy never yelled at him. He just quietly and firmly told Rene what was right and what was wrong, and Rene responded to that. He never wanted to disappoint his Daddy. This man was gruff and a bit scary, but Rene sensed that he was safe in this man's arms. He had held a child before. Rene was comfortable in his arms. He began to play with a shiny pin that was attached to the man's coat. Rene liked shiny things. The surface of the pin was smooth, and as he touched the shiny pin, his eyes began to close and soon, Rene was fast asleep in the arms of the man who held the lives of Rene's parents in his hands even as he held their son. When Rene was sound asleep, exhausted from his frantic cries and struggles of earlier, Operations stood there looking down at the beautiful child that his top operative had produced against all odds in the dark world of Section One.

As he gently rocked Rene in his arms, Operations began to wonder what he was supposed to do now. He looked around where he was standing in the middle of Walter's munitions storage area and tried to think of what to do next. A lone cold op sauntered up to Walter's work table, his mission gear dangling from his hand. As he swung the gear up onto the table, he spied Operations standing back in the storage area and stopped in his tracks. "Uh, Sir, can I help you with something?" The words were out of his mouth before it registered with him what, or rather whom, Operations was rocking in his arms.

The steely, silver-blue eyes lasered in and Operations looked hard at the man, before he snapped, "Yes, Jacobs, you can do something for me." Gesturing at the playpen and the bag on the floor next to him, Operations ordered sharply, "bring those things up to my office and set up the playpen there." He noticed Jacob's slight smile, and added, "and Jacobs, I would look on any gossip arising from this situation as a black mark on your record." Operations smiled, "and you wouldn't want that, would you, Jacobs?"

Jacob's smile dissipated quickly, and anxious to stay in Operations' good graces, he scrambled for the items he had been directed to take to Operation's office and swiftly departed, but not before Operations growled at him, "And don't forget the teddy bear!"

Operations walked stiffly across Comm on his way to the perch, stopping briefly to tell a passing operative that he required a rocking chair in his office immediately. The sandy-haired operative hurried off, wondering where in Section he was going to find a rocking chair, of all things. Operations continued on his way, cradling the sleeping child as half of Section watched silently, some with their mouths open in shock.

Finished with the briefing in Madeline's office, Walter hurried back to check on Rene before he gathered everything up in preparation to leave for the night. He stopped short when he found the tangled jumble of colored wire from the open container in his storage area, but he found no Rene....

Walter hunted frantically in the back of his storage area, and then ran to his worktable and wondered what could have happened to his young charge. He walked quickly through Comm, searching, and then he went back to his work area. He stopped and slowly turned and let his gaze drift upwards, until he was staring at the perch.

"Oh, Shit!" he muttered to himself. "I am a dead man, two times over." He watched as the young sandy-haired operative named Sean carried a rocking chair across the perch and sat it down in front of Operations, who still held a sleeping Rene in his arms. "Michael will kill me for not taking good enough care of Rene, and Operations will kill me for having the kid here at all." He sighed and tried to think what he would tell Michael. Even as he sighed, Walter's breath caught in his throat as he watched Madeline enter the perch and walk over to where Operations sat in the rocking chair, gently rocking his precious bundle of two-year-old Rene. Walter began to breathe again as he watched Madeline bend slightly and run her fingers down Rene's cheek and smile. And then he thought that it wasn't always a good thing when Madeline smiled. He comforted himself as he thought that this particular Madeline smile was pleasant, not at all like the smile that everyone referred to as the Mona Lisa smile. THAT smile made everyone nervous because usually, nothing good came with that smile.

Walter was on his way across the main floor to confront the old dragon in his lair when he was hailed by someone in Comm. "Walter! I just heard....Michael's team is in van access." Ellen, the analyst who had called to him, glanced up at the perch. "I thought you might want to meet him and warn him about...you know what. Good Luck!"

Walter threw Ellen a kiss and rushed off down the hallway to van access. He arrived just in time to hear Chuck needling a tired Michael. "Hey, Mikey, way to go, man!" Walter saw Chuck slap Michael on the back and say, "when you need a baby-sitter, you go right to the top of the heap, don't you?" Michael had his back to Chuck and was giving some instructions to one of his team. Simone stood off to the side and watched with wide eyes as she saw Walter who was NOT supposed to be in Section at this time of night. He's supposed to be home with Rene, she thought, and then, My God, where is Rene?

Her eyes strayed over to Michael who slowly and deliberately turned to face a grinning Chuck. "What do you mean, Chuck?" His voice was smooth, quiet and deadly, as he stood motionless and stared at Chuck.

Chuck continued to grin, not taking Michael's stare or tone of voice seriously. Only he could get away with treating Michael this way. Besides Walter and Simone, Chuck was the only other operative who was not in awe of or afraid of Michael. He continued to grin, and finally said, just as Michael spied Walter standing behind Chuck.

"Well, Man, who else but you could get Operations to baby-sit Rene?" Michael stared at Chuck and then at Walter, before swiftly pushing by both of them and gliding down the corridor like a panther on the scent of its first kill of the day. His green eyes flashed at Walter as he passed him. Simone ran up to Walter and demanded to know what had happened as they both raced down the corridor after Michael.

They both stopped on the main floor of Section and stood with mouths agape as they watched Michael stalk into the perch and come to stand before Operations as he sat in the rocking chair, Rene snuggled in his arms.

"I've come for my son," Michael said simply as he held out his arms. Operations looked up at Michael, but made no move to relinquish the priceless burden cradled in his arms.

"You know, Michael, Rene is a beautiful child. You should keep him safe always." Operations held the sleeping child out to his father. Michael took Rene from Operations and Rene stirred and then awoke as he was returned to the safest place he knew...his father's arms.

"Daddeeee!" Rene shouted as he threw his arms around his father's neck and hugged him tightly. Michael lost the rigidity of his posture as he accepted and returned Rene's hugs. Rene looked back at Operations and then whispered in Michael's ear. "Daddy, he scared me, but he's nice now. Can we go home?"

"Of course, my little one, we can go now." Michael sent a questioning look in Operation's direction.

"You and Simone can debrief tomorrow when you come in. Leave that," said Operations as Michael bent to retrieve the bag. At Operations' words, his grasp shifted and he scooped up Rene's teddy instead. He handed the bear to Rene who laughed and crushed the bear to his little chest. "I'll have it sent over to your apartment tomorrow. Colette will be there, won't she? Oh, that's right. She had to go see to her son in Malta, didn't she? I think we can arrange to take Simone off active status for a few days until Colette returns, can't we, Madeline." Madeline stepped out of the shadows at the back of the perch and came to stand by Operations' chair.

She smiled, "Of course, Simone won't be needed unless there is an emergency."

Michael let his green gaze drift over both Operations and Madeline. "Of course....Thank you." was all he said as he turned and left the presence of the two people who would determine the course of the rest of his life. They watched as Michael and Rene joined Simone and Walter on the main floor. Walter was beside himself, trying to apologize for the mess he felt he had caused. Michael held Rene in one arm and clapped Walter with his other hand, apparently absolving the old man of any guilt in the matter just concluded.

Walter smiled gratefully and put his hand on Rene's head and tousled his black hair. Rene clung to his father and smiled broadly at his Uncle Walter. Michael put his arm around Simone and the small family walked out of the belly of the beast.

Up in the perch, Operations smiled sadly, remembering his own son who he had not seen in so many years. "Madeline, this cannot go on for much longer. We know this, and I think Michael knows it, too. Put together a profile. We need 100% of Michael's focus, Madeline. 100%. Fix it, and soon." Madeline smiled her own sad smile and left the perch for her office. This was one profile she didn't want to write. Michael would never be the same after this profile went live.

Loss, Part XVI

Time passed.

Rene turned three and the family celebrated by taking Rene on his first visit to a small library Michael had found in their neighborhood. Michael read to Rene often and the small child loved snuggling in his father's arms and listening to his father's voice as it lulled him to slumber, or sometimes fired his imagination at all the excitement he heard in Michael's voice as he read fantastic adventures to his son.

Michael had scouted the library and found out that every Saturday afternoon, an expatriate American woman named Grace read stories to the children that gathered at the library. It was perfect, so when the day of Rene's birthday arrived, Michael and Simone took their giggling son to the library for storytime. They met Grace, and Rene immediately attached himself to her and remained with her for the rest of the afternoon, sitting in her lap and listening wide-eyed as she read story after story. It was a cranky Rene who did not want to leave as storytime ended. Michael promised him another Saturday visit and after assurances from Grace that she would indeed read him more stories on his next visit, Rene stopped his fretting and left the library with his mother and father.

Grace, the library and storytime was all Rene could talk about for the next few days. He often asked Simone, "Is it Saturday yet?" Simone would smile and tell him not yet. He continued to ask several times each day, and Simone would continue to answer him in the same way she had each time he asked.

Michael, in his customary thoroughness, used Section resources to check out Grace King, the librarian who seemed to have captured his son's heart. She had lived all her life in Texas as a librarian in the public library in her small hometown. Grace had dutifully settled in her hometown after college and then graduate school, and had taken care of her parents until, one by one, they had passed away.

She had then surprised everyone who knew her by selling almost everything she had and buying an airline ticket to Paris, France. Her friends thought her crazy for quitting a good job and moving to a foreign country to live. After a few weeks of traveling and getting to know her new home, Grace took the job offered to her at the small library in a quiet Paris street. She found a small apartment on the second floor of an old townhouse near Notre Dame and began her new life. Little did she know that the chance encounter with the Samuelle family would change her life forever, opening up avenues of great pain and even greater happiness and joy.

Colette came back to Paris after a few weeks away, and she resumed her days, and sometimes her nights, taking care of little Rene in the absence of his parents. Her son's health had improved, but still she worried about him and longed to be with him again. She loved the time she spent with Rene. His cherubic little face with his green eyes reminded her of her own children when they were small. She ached to be with her son, and slowly, she built her resolve to tell Michael and Simone that soon, she would no longer be available to care for Rene when they were working.

Colette decided that she would stay another six months in Paris and then she would go to live with her son and his wife in Malta. She agonized over how to tell Michael and Simone what she knew would be disturbing news to them. She didn't want to leave what she had begun to think of as "her second family."

They had all settled into a quiet routine that benefited both Colette and Michael's small family. Colette was there whenever Michael or Simone called her. Sometimes, their jobs called them away in the middle of the night. Michael would carry a sleeping Rene to Colette's apartment and place him lovingly in her arms. He would linger over his son, caressing the child's head, finally leaving him with a sad look and a tender kiss on Rene's forehead.

Colette wondered at each of these leave-takings, just what was going on in Michael's mind. Sometimes, the look in Michael's eyes scared her. It was a look that she remembered seeing in her father's eyes when he left on a sabotage mission against the Germans during the last world war. It was the look of a man who didn't know if or when he would ever see his family again. It was a look of despair, a look of loss. What could he be thinking? And Simone, she was positively unreadable.

Colette saw only a blankness now in Simone's face when she took leave of her son. It was almost as if she had already said goodbye to him. These past few weeks, Colette had watched both parents with their son. Michael, as always, took such joy in everything that Rene did. Simone, in contrast, had little to do with Rene, except the necessities of the care he needed as a small child. Colette began to worry about Simone's state of mind.

She had detached herself from Rene. It was as if she knew that something bad was coming....something inevitable. Simone carefully kept her feelings of doom to herself. Michael would never accept what Madeline and Ops had planned for him.

And so, Simone waited for the summons she knew would soon come from Madeline. She prepared her family, choosing to build a relationship with Grace, who she knew would help Michael when he lost his son, not trusting herself to help him. Simone sensed that the caring nature of Grace would surround Michael in the bleak days ahead, and she knew that somehow Michael would seek out Grace's motherly ministrations as he searched for a way to maintain a connection with Rene. The library had become a safe haven for the Samuelle family and Simone knew that Michael would need something on which to focus when he lost his son. Simone had also begun the process of detachment from Michael because she knew she would never be able to console his grief. She knew he would never forgive her if he found out that she had felt all along that Rene would be taken from them and she had not told him. Simone was older than Michael, in real years and in Section years. She knew the way of the world in Section, but she let Michael believe as long as she could that he would always have his son.

Simone also encouraged and strengthened the bond between Michael and Walter. Michael would need someone inside of Section, just as he would need Grace on the outside.

And so the days passed, and the bond between the Samuelle family and Grace King deepened. Michael knew their friendship was progressing to the point where Grace could be endangered. She was asking questions that he couldn't, wouldn't answer. Then, as if she sensed that he couldn't answer, she stopped asking questions about his and Simone's work. Grace simply accepted what he told her and concentrated on being a friend who knew when not to question. She just accepted the situation and became a caring friend who happened to love Michael's son and through him, his parents.

There were Saturdays when either one or both parents were called away on Section missions. Those were the Saturdays when Uncle Walter would be called in to take an impatient and eager Rene to Grace's storytimes. The old man was always glad when Michael would ask him to take Rene to the library. Walter liked Grace. He liked her saucy manner towards him, how she never let him shock her with this endless innuendoes. He liked how she always had a comeback for anything he said to her. Walter knew he couldn't get away with anything with Grace. The old man reveled in her company and her friendship.

And then the day came when Simone was hit from both sides with unwelcome news. Colette told her that she could no longer take care of Rene. She was moving to Malta to live with her son and his wife. She would be gone in two weeks.

The other bit of bad news came to her in Section where she received the ominous summons to Madeline's office. The world as she knew it was coming to an end...

Grief, Part XVII

The mission had been long and arduous. Michael was anxious to get back home to Simone and Rene. This mission had dragged on for three weeks and he was cold, dirty and exhausted. It was also the longest time he had ever been away from his son and he wanted to reassure himself that everything was all right at home. For the last five days, he had had a feeling that something was not right. He had tried to control the rising tide of fear that gripped his insides and wouldn't let go. His requests for information about his family had been met with a huge stone wall and his suppressed terror was like a cold, hard rock in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong and they wouldn't tell him what. Focusing on the mission was more important than anything else. This he understood, but all he had wanted was a bit of reassurance and Section had refused that to him.

Michael checked his watch. God, he thought, another thirty minutes...how can I stand it?

Back at Section, Simone sat calmly in the only chair available in Operations' perch. Odd, she thought, they seemed so solicitous of her comfort as they waited for her to perform the most difficult mission of her life. Operations and Madeline stood quietly at the perch window, looking down on their domain and speaking in muted voices, completely ignoring the woman who sat listlessly behind them awaiting Michael's return.

Simone was going over her next mission, trying to find the strength she knew it would take to get through the next few moments of her life. If she failed, she would lose everything and everyone dear to her. If she succeeded, she would lose only one thing dear to her, but she would succeed. She had prepared herself well. She could do the job.

Michael had arrived in van access. The minute he walked through the door, Birkoff met him, but Michael kept on walking, ignoring the young man. Birkoff followed nervously. The teenager's youthful voice quivered on the first words out of his mouth. He was still fairly new to his job in Comm and was still very nervous about talking to anyone in Section. He was terrified to be talking to the infamous Michael, and absolutely petrified to be giving him direct orders from Operations. "Umm...Michael?"

Michael stopped and turned around, his impatience glowing brightly in his eyes. "Yes, Birkoff, what do you want?"

"Uhhhh....Operations wants to see you immediately. You are to report directly to his office." Michael stared at Birkoff until the younger man dropped his eyes. Birkoff knew what was coming and he didn't want to answer any of the questions that he knew were hovering on the tip of Michael's tongue. Michael turned abruptly and continued down the hall on his way to the perch.

Walter was checking his inventory in preparation for a new mission when he glanced up to see Michael stalking across the main floor on his way to the perch. He met Michael's eyes and quickly glanced back down at the panel in his hands. He sniffed when he felt a tear roll down his cheek and splash down onto the panel on which he was trying to concentrate. He heard Michael's footsteps speed up and Walter lifted his eyes to watch the level five operative hurry onward, never lifting his eyes upwards to the perch. The old man shook his head slowly from side to side, knowing that what Michael was about to hear would devastate him. From his place in Munitions, Walter could see Operations and Madeline standing in the perch with their faces turned towards the stairway up to the perch. Simone sat quietly in a chair, head downcast and wringing her hands, waiting for Michael. As he watched, Operations activated the control that blacked out the windows in the perch. Even as he was glad that the kid would get a bit of privacy, Walter thought bitterly that the next few moments could very well destroy the best operative that Section One had ever known. He said a few prayers then, for Michael and Simone, but mostly for little Rene and for the repose of the baby's soul. Walter turned back to the work that he knew had to be finished within the next few minutes. He had a feeling that Michael and Simone would need him soon, and he did not intend to fail either of them.

At the bottom of the stairs leading up to the perch Michael paused, drawing in a deep breath to try and calm his rapidly beating heart. He felt fear for the first time in years. He knew from the surreptitious glances, the eyes that tried not to meet his, and the quiver in Birkoff's young voice, that he was about to receive bad news. Madeline and Operations often ordered him to the perch for an immediate debrief...he expected that. What he did not expect were the expressions on the faces of the operatives that he met on the way to the perch. He suddenly knew that Madeline and Operations was going to tell him that someone he loved, someone he cared about was dead. They were going to tell him that Simone had been killed on a mission.

Michael squared his shoulders and, with another deep breath, he started up the stairs, trying to figure out how he would tell Rene about his mother. He slowed near the top of the stairs. He could see the two of them, turned toward the stairway, waiting for him, waiting to tell him the awful news. He reached the landing at the top of the stairs and stood quietly, facing them.

"Yes, Sir?" Michael felt all the breath leave him as he heard a quiet sob coming from behind Operations, who suddenly stepped to one side so that Michael could see Simone. Michael's beloved wife sat there, bent over and sobbing into her hands. He rushed to her and knelt in front of her. "Oh, God! Simone, I thought they were going to tell me you were dead!" He took her into his arms, and asked quietly, "what is it? What's wrong? Is it Colette? Rene? What is happening!!" She pulled back, away from his embrace and locked eyes with him and murmured the words that no parent should ever have to say or hear.

"It's Rene, Michael! He's gone! Our baby is dead!" And again, she dissolved into tears.

The roaring in his ears began then, and kept getting louder and louder as he felt Operations' strong grip on his shoulder and then heard the older man's voice as it said something about Rene's being killed instantly by a hit and run driver. The child had pulled his hand out of Simone's and run toward an ice cream street vendor across the street. The car had hit him and had not stopped. "We'll find him Michael...I promise." The roaring threatened to drown out all other sounds as Michael put his hands on the arms of the chair in which Simone sat. She was trying to say something to him, but he couldn't understand her words. He pushed himself upwards and the chair arms rocked and almost caused him to lose his balance. Michael realized then that Simone was sitting in the rocking chair where he had found his son, his dear Rene, in the arms of the man who was, even now, trying to explain what had happened to his son.

Michael pushed himself to his feet and took a step back, even as Simone put out her hands to hold him. He was vaguely aware of Madeline speaking to him, asking him if there was anything she could do to help him. He knew she was offering him the oblivion of drugs, but he shook his head at the thought. He wanted to forget nothing. He knew that he had to deal with the pain in his own way. Michael stiffened his back and took one step back and then made a perfectly choreographed turn that put him squarely into Operations' path. Operations put his hand on Michael's shoulder and said something. Michael was beyond communication at this point. His eyes darted around the room, blinking rapidly, focusing on nothing.

He heard a voice say, "Will that be all, Sir?" He thought that the voice was his own, but in any case, Michael started moving away from all of the hands that reached out to him. Simone's sobs lessened as she watched him walk across the perch to the stairs. She called to him but he did not react to her voice. She glanced nervously at Operations, as if to ask permission to leave to go after Michael. Operations nodded and she was out of the chair and running to catch up with her husband.

"Have we done the right thing, Madeline? Or have we just lost our best operative?" Operations turned worried eyes to his second-in-command, who gave him a small smile.

"He'll be in pain for awhile, but ultimately he will recover. We'll have to watch him for awhile. Perhaps we will even have to induce him, but he'll be fine, he'll be just fine in a few months. If I have learned anything at all about Michael over these last few years, I've learned that he is a survivor. Michael will survive anything we throw at him. He'll do what he has to do."

"I hope you are right, Madeline, for all our sakes." Operations whispered as he lit a cigarette and remembered the day he had been told he would never see his own son ever again. He mourned right along with Michael. He knew what it was like to lose a son, but at least he knew his son was alive.

Walter was waiting when he saw Michael exit the stairway alone. As Michael walked resolutely across the commons area of Section, Walter could see the haunted look in the young man's eyes. Walter started towards Michael just as he saw Simone come into view. She had run down the stairs, but slowed to a walk so as to not draw anyone's attention. She continued following Michael and she joined Walter as they both pursued Michael into his office. Michael walked over to the far side of his desk and stood there with one hand resting on the edge of the desk. Simone walked up behind Michael and put her arms around him. Walter walked over to the windows and drew the blinds to block any curious eyes from observing what he thought was about to happen. The old man then stepped behind Michael's desk, pulled out the pad and pushed the keys that blocked the surveillance in Michael's office. No one sees this, he thought to himself. Tonight, the kid will have a little bit of privacy, even from those two.

Michael seemed to come back to himself for a few moments and turned pain-glazed eyes to Walter. "Thanks, Walter," and then the stiffness left his body and his knees started to buckle. Simone couldn't hold him and he pulled out of her arms and collapsed onto his knees on the cold, hard concrete floor. With both arms wrapped around his mid-section, Michael began to rock backwards and forwards, trying to contain his grief over the loss of his son. Finally, he lost the battle. Michael threw his head back, opened his mouth and screamed soundlessly for Rene. Exhausted, he bent over again and his forehead hit the floor and he tried to let the cool concrete of the floor soothe his fevered brow, but it didn't help. He had lost the will to fight the battle. He had lost the will to go on in this bleak world called Section, and even the sympathetic words of his wife and his old mentor could not call him back from the brink.

Both Simone and Walter tried to comfort Michael in his torment, but he shoved them both away and curled up on the floor. He was lost in a world without his son and he wanted no comfort. He knew that he deserved the pain he was feeling, so he let it flow over and through him.

***********

Mourning, Part XVIII

Michael was inconsolable.

Nothing that Simone, Walter or anyone else could say or do made a dent in the wall Michael had built around himself. He closed himself off and would not allow anyone to comfort him. Simone and Walter had finally convinced him to leave Section and go home, but "home" was an apartment that everywhere Michael looked, he saw Rene....Rene's teddy bear, his blanket, his toys. Michael's heart broke again and again as he walked through the apartment that had once been a happy home.

Michael fled into the bedroom and when Simone ventured into the room, she found Michael standing in front of the doors that led to balcony that overlooked a small park. He held Rene's teddy bear in his arms and his fingers played listlessly with the red ribbon tied around its neck, as he stared out into the night. He looked up as Simone walked up behind him and encircled him with her arms.

Michael sighed heavily and spoke softly. "I knew it wouldn't last. I was too happy being a father. I knew he would be taken away, but I always thought it would be Section that took him away.....I never prepared myself for his death. I had only thought to make preparations for my own death. I always thought that if something.....if something should happen to us that perhaps Colette would raise Rene. But now that Colette has gone to live with her son and Rene is gone, it doesn't matter anymore. So, fate has taken care of our Rene for us. Oh, Simone, I don't know how to do this! Perhaps if I knew he was alive somewhere, it would be easier. But this, his death, it's just too much!" Simone embraced her husband even tighter and held him tenderly as he wept silently. Oh, God! What have I done, she thought as her tears wet the material of Michael's sweater. What have I done?

Simone awakened the next morning to find Michael's side of the bed empty. She had finally persuaded him to go to bed in the last hours before dawn. He had been exhausted and she thought he would sleep for longer than he did. She sat up in bed when she heard a clatter of hangers in the closet and the sight that greeted her as she peered inside the closet terrified her.

Michael was pulling all of his clothes off the hangers and was throwing them into a pile on the floor of the closet. The only clothes left hanging in the closet or lining the shelves were black, the unrelieved color of mourning.

"Michael! What are you doing?" Simone jumped out of bed and pulled Michael out of the closet. At first, he resisted her, but then he just collapsed on the bed, shoulders bowed and head hung low.

After a few minutes, he gestured at the clothes on the floor, "These all remind me of a time I spent with him. I can't seem to cope with remembering my son when he was alive and happy. I know I can't do my job at Section if I am thinking of Rene." Michael looked at his wife and sighed. "As if I can ever go back to that job." He laughed bitterly. "Perhaps I should do us all a favor and just walk in front of a bullet....maybe then I could be with Rene."

Before Simone could stop to think about what she was doing, she drew back her hand and backhanded her husband with a slap that sent him crashing to the floor. He looked up at her with incredulous eyes, his hand on his face where the force of her blow had left the red imprint of her hand. She was down on her knees in an instant thrusting her face aggressively right into his.

"Michael Samuelle, you are not the only one in pain here! I lost a son, too! So don't go all maudlin on me! Our lives are never going to be perfect. Section will always come first. You should've learned that by now!! So, get up off your ass, and clean up this mess!" Simone stood and grabbed a jacket from the chair beside the bed and stomped out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

Michael sat there on the floor rubbing his cheek, and then slowly got up and starting gathering up the clothes and stuffing them into the garbage sacks he had brought in from the kitchen. Within a few minutes, he heard the front door open. Simone came back into the bedroom with a sheepish smile on her face. She peeked into the closet. "Oh, good. You've picked everything up. Ummm...I decided to come back when I figured out that I left here in my gown."

She looked down at herself and Michael's eyes were drawn to her slim legs and the thigh- length nightshirt that barely covered them. He smiled ruefully and opened his arms to her and she gratefully ran to him and let herself be enclosed in his warm embrace. Husband and wife took comfort from each other, the memory of their lost son forever between them.

Early the next morning, Michael made a phone call to the L'Armee du Salut, the Salvation Army, to arrange for them to pick up the garbage bags full of his unwanted clothes. He had made a vow to himself that for the rest of his life, he would wear the color of mourning for his lost son, for Rene. Michael left his home that day dressed in unrelieved black from his black sunglasses down to his black boots. Gone forever were the soft blues and greens he had favored when Rene was alive. But try as he might, Michael couldn't, and probably would never be without the pain of loss. He had an errand to run today, one that he knew would be difficult. He carried with him a stack of library books that Rene had checked out of the library where his friend, Grace, worked. Michael was trying to find a way to tell Grace about Rene, but he had no plan, no profile, as to how he was going to accomplish this very difficult mission. Grace loved little Rene, and Michael didn't know how to break the news gently.

He entered the library and put the overdue books on the circulation desk. Michael sensed movement behind him and he turned swiftly to come face to face with Grace. He could see the anxiety and worry in her face. He heard himself saying something about being sorry about the overdue books, and wanting to keep something Rene loved close to him. Grace stopped him by grabbing his arm and leading him over to a sofa and plopping him down as she sat down beside him. Michael found himself blurting out the facts of Rene's death as they had been told to him, knowing that he was shocking Grace with his words. She probed him for more information, commiserating with him and trying to comfort him when he knew she was hurting as well. They both wept a few more tears.

Grace was a godsend. She gave all the comfort she could to Michael. She had loved his child as well and Grace tried her best to give Michael a reason to go on living, even if it meant a life without his son.

He left her that day, but in the weeks that followed, he returned again and again to sit and listen to her read stories to the other children. Each time Michael appeared at the library, he was dressed in black. Grace somehow knew that he would wear black the rest of his life, because she also knew that Michael would forever mourn the passing of his son.

Michael knew that the other parents were curious about him. Michael also knew that Grace must have told them what had happened to Rene because he caught the sympathetic glances they gave him. And when a few of the parents stopped by the table where he sat, he was amazed that they would go out of their way to offer words of comfort for the loss of his son. Michael was moved to tears by the way they sought to try and make him feel better. This was something that few people in his life had ever attempted. He blinked back the tears and smiled and shook the offered hands and accepted the condolences of the parents who hugged their children to them a bit more closely as they walked away from him.

Michael was still trying to cope with a life that no longer included Rene when another event rocked his world.

He lost Simone on what was supposed to be a routine mission, and it was all his fault. Simone had pushed him out of the way of a bullet meant for him. He had been wounded, and when he awoke in Medical back at Section, Madeline had quietly told him that Simone had been killed getting him back to the van. Her body had been left behind. Michael rolled over in his bed, refusing to look at anyone who came to visit him. He accepted comfort from no one, not even Walter who came looking for him as soon as he had heard about Simone. It saddened Walter to know that what had once been a happy, loving family was now just one man who was determined to close out anyone who cared for him.

It was all his fault. Simone had asked for backup, but Michael had refused, deeming it unnecessary on such a low priority mission. He had been wrong. Once more, someone Michael loved beyond all reason was snatched away from him.

As soon as he could, he fled back to his last remaining refuge...Grace's library. Michael broke down when Grace gathered him into her arms and held him like a child...like she had held little Rene. They shared their tears as Michael began to tell her that Simone was dead because of him. His confession to Grace was interrupted when Walter walked up and took over the telling. Michael immediately realized that Walter had saved Grace's life with his interruption. He knew Grace sensed that there was a lot more to the story, but she wisely let it go.

Michael was grateful for her comfort in his time of need and for her friendship. He knew he had to let her go. So, when he left her that day, he resolved to never come back to his sanctuary...to Grace. He left her that day, knowing that he didn't deserve sanctuary...he knew this was his punishment, for daring to attempt happiness within the confines of Section. It would be a year and more before he would see Grace again, and Michael's life would undergo another change, one of the many life changes ahead of him. For the time being, he accepted the life that fate had dealt out to him. For the foreseeable future, he would be the man in black, the man without friends, without family, without hope.

A Little Help from My Friends, Part XIX

The gunfire was intense as men ran from cover to cover trying to survive the withering fire that the Red Cell mercenaries were laying down around them. The number of combatants now attempting to decimate the team of Section operatives was double what the intel had indicated. The toll in Section casualties was forcing Michael to do some on-the-spot tactical planning to extricate his team from what was rapidly becoming an untenable situation.

He had Operations yelling in his ear to "just get the job done" while he could hear Madeline's calm, measured voice trying to soothe Operations near hysteria. Michael smiled grimly. Always the same with these two, he thought. Madeline the planner, the brilliant profiler, the consummate Section second-in-command. And then there was Operations...the merciless military man, the one who demanded the best they had to give and then demanded even more, the man who believed that the end justified the means, even at the cost of lives needlessly wasted.

Michael had spent almost a third of his life continually trying to live up to the harsh expectations that both of his superiors had heaped on him. All he had received in return for his efforts was a son lost to him forever and the memory of a wife whom he had failed and lost on a Section mission.

Enough, he told himself. I've done enough for them. It stops here. I can't endure it any longer. His decision made, Michael ordered the remaining Section operatives into a retreat from their positions. As each one of the operatives passed him, he encouraged their flight to the safety of the van, glancing briefly at each one and nodding to them. Chuck came last and as always, he crouched at Michael's side, silently waiting for Michael to move toward the van. Chuck always covered Michael. This time Michael's eyes locked on Chuck's blue ones and he ordered him to retreat further.

"This time, Chuck, I will cover you!" Michael cocked his head toward the van. "Get to the van...Now!!" Seeing the beginnings of a negative retort from Chuck, Michael snapped at the operative, "NOW, I said. No arguments!"

Startled at the rough manner of Michael's orders, Chuck started to run toward the van, staying as close to the ground as he could. He heard the rapid chatter of automatic weapons fire from Red Cell, and quickly glancing over his shoulder, Chuck was horrified to see Michael stand straight up, and start to fire his weapon at the advancing forces.

Chuck stopped dead in his tracks and spun around, shouting for Snow to cover him. He sprinted back toward Michael, just in time to see his friend and team leader fall backwards onto the lip of one of the shell craters that had been made from earlier mortar fire. Hearing Snow yell for other operatives to help him, Chuck dove into the crater and managed to grab Michael's jacket and drag him further down into the crater.

Fighting with renewed zeal as they watched Chuck dragging Michael's still form out of the line of fire, the remaining Section operatives, all veterans of Michael's team, fought even harder to drive back the Red Cell forces. One of the operatives, a recruit just given full operative status and on his second mission with Michael's team, emerged from the van with a rocket launcher in place on his shoulder. He pointed it at the Red Cell operatives and pulled the trigger. The blast was sufficient to knock a huge hole in the advancing line and send the others scurrying to the relative safety of anything they could find to hide behind. The young operative looked around for another rocket and found himself looking at a female operative who swiftly picked up a rocket and loaded the launcher. She lightly tapped him on the head to signal that the rocket launcher was ready for another shot. The recruit wasted no time in aiming and pulling the trigger. This rocket not only took out a few more Red Cell ops, but sent the rest of them into a full retreat. The Section operatives, sensing that their retreat had turned into a victory, grinned at each other and as one, they moved forward to cover Chuck, who had swung an unconscious Michael over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and was moving as fast as he could back toward the van.

The grins faded as they silently watched Chuck carry his burden into the van. They were all grim-faced as they followed their team leader's unconscious body into the van. As soon as the door was slammed shut and they were seated, the van lurched forward on the return trip to the airstrip where their transport waited.

Chuck busied himself with tearing open Michael's jacket and kevlar vest. He sat back on his heels and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Michael, you are one lucky son-of-a-bitch! I would have killed you myself if you had gotten yourself hurt covering my sorry backside!"

The operatives sitting across from where Chuck had laid Michael craned their necks to see how badly Michael was hurt. When they saw no blood and only a stitching of bullet holes in their team leader's jacket and the marks of the bullets' impact on his vest, they sat back and grinned at their luck. Michael would live to lead them again.

That is, if Michael escaped Chuck's wrath.

Michael was just starting to struggle back to consciousness when he felt someone grab the lapels of his jacket and forcefully pull him up off of the seat he was laying across. His head snapped up and Michael found himself looking into Chuck's angry gaze.

"You crazy son-of-a-bitch! You almost got yourself killed back there! What were you thinking, standing up like that?" Chuck was yelling and shaking Michael back and forth.

"Chuck, that is quite enough. Stop...NOW!" Chuck stopped shaking Michael as he felt the business end of Michael's gun touch the soft underside of his chin.

"Uh, sure, Michael. Anything you say, Michael. How are you feeling? Are those ribs painful? I'm sorry I shook you so violently. Nasty headache now?" Chuck grinned and endured Michael's intense stare.

"I'm fine. Let me go, please?"

"You had me scared there for a few minutes, Michael." Chuck stared back at Michael, trying to read the inscrutable expression in the green eyes that gazed back at him. "If I didn't know better, my friend, I might have thought you were trying to get yourself killed. But then, you wouldn't do that to us, would you? .......Would you, Michael?"

Michael chose that minute to look away from Chuck's intense stare. Chuck reached out and took a firm grip on Michael's chin. "Because if that was what you were trying....Know this: We...," He glanced around at the other operatives who were watching this exchange in silence, "We would have something to say about that, Michael. We are not going to let you go gently into that good night. We like our lives, such as they are. When you lead us, we come back alive. And if we have anything to say about it, you are always going to come back alive with us. Any questions?" Chuck smiled when Michael bowed his head in acquiescence. "Good! Then that is settled."

Michael heard a collective sigh from the others in the van, and feeling awkward and more than a little humbled from Chuck's dressing down in front of the other men and women in the van, Michael pulled Chuck's hands from his lapels and laid back on the seat. In a few minutes, he was sound asleep.

Chuck looked up at the other operatives and asked them quietly. "I hope you are all behind me on this. You are, aren't you?" He grinned as he saw each of the ops nod in agreement. He placed his hand on Michael's ruined kevlar vest. "This man is our best hope of surviving in Section. Let's make sure to keep him healthy. Okay?"

****************

Madeline watched the tape from the mission van as she leaned back in her chair and steepled her fingers under her chin. So, she thought, they are willing to protect him. She smiled. Operatives after my own heart. I want to protect you as well, Michael. I misread you badly when I decided to take Rene away from you. I wanted to focus all your attention on the job, but I miscalculated. I should not have used Rene's "death." That was a mistake. You would have understood eventually if I had just removed him from your life, but you think he is dead, and now, you want to die, too.

I can't allow that. Chuck and the others will keep you with us for now, but I need to think of something else...something to make you want to live. Madeline sighed heavily and turned back to her computer and began typing a new query.

Learning to Live Again, Part XX

A mission was going out in an hour and operatives hurried to Walter's area to pick up their gear. Snow, Carson and Chuck stopped dead in their tracks and watched in astonishment as Walter grabbed Michael's arm and dragged him into the enclosed storage area behind his worktable.

In the next few minutes, the three men took over Walter's position and made sure the rest of the teams that were going out got the gear they needed. No one even questioned that the three had taken Walter's place. Chuck extricated himself from the activity around Walter's worktable and walked slowly over to the old man who had his arm around Michael's shoulders, his head bent close to Michael's bowed head. They were deep in a quiet conversation and Chuck was reluctant to interrupt. Both Snow and Carson watched for anyone not picking up supplies and carefully, but firmly warned away anyone else who approached.

Walter glanced up briefly at Chuck and beckoned to him with a slight movement of his head. Chuck, acknowledging the summons, took the last few steps that brought him to Michael's side. He was just in time to hear Michael's whispered words to Walter. "I'll be running the mission from the van. I don't need to wear a vest!"

"Look, kid, we both know if you think you need to, you'll change the profile of this mission in a New York minute and will hightail it out into the field. You ARE wearing this vest!" Walter tightened his grip on Michael's arm to emphasize his point.

Michael tried to shrug out of the hold Walter had on his arm and bumped into Chuck, who spoke quietly with a firm voice into Michael's ear. "Yeah, Mikey, you'll wear the vest or I'll have Snow and Carson sit on you while I strap it on you myself." He smiled widely and looked deep into his team leader's eyes. "And you know I mean what I say."

Michael's shoulders drooped in defeat. He quickly took off his jacket and allowed both Walter and Chuck to settle the vest on him and securely close all of the Velcro fittings on the vest.

"I told you, Michael, that us lowly ops come back alive when you lead the missions...so get used to living again!" Chuck clapped Michael on the shoulder and nodded to the two silent men who had been standing sentinel duty at Walter's station. Carson lifted his eyes up towards the perch.

"Oh, Shit!" Walter had followed Chuck's gaze up to the perch, where he saw Madeline talking to Operations whose back was turned to the floor below. Madeline continued talking, but her eyes were riveted on the tableaux that had just played out under her watchful eyes.

"Yep," Walter growled. "I think I may be getting a call from Iron Maiden any time now."

Michael had also noticed Madeline's attention and sighed. Pulling on his jacket, he decided to ignore her and focus on his mission. Silently, he walked away from Walter, knowing that Chuck, Snow and Carson would follow him to van access.

Another day of existence loomed before him. How many more would he have to endure before they stopped watching him long enough so he could find peace for himself and his son. Michael sighed. They couldn't watch every minute....His time would come.

********

Madeline was reviewing the surveillance tapes of Michael's last few missions when Walter reported to her office. He always felt like he was entering the dragon's lair when he was summoned to her cavernous rock-lined office.

"What's all this about, Madeline? I have several missions to outfit today."

"Nothing's going out for at least two hours, Walter. You have the time. Please sit down." She turned back to her computer monitor and gestured to the screen. "I've just been reviewing some of Michael's missions, as well as the surveillance tapes of your little talk with him this morning. Walter, is Michael trying to get himself killed?" She sat back and waited for Walter to answer.

His face remained expressionless and he leaned back in the chair and looked at the ceiling. "Well, Madeline, let's see...The man has lost the son that he loved more than life itself; he's lost his wife and he blames himself for it, and he's lost a friend who could have possibly helped him through it all..." He dropped his eyes down from the ceiling to stare into Madeline's limpid brown eyes. "Yes, that might make some men suicidal, but Madeline, this is Michael we are talking about. He's a little lost and confused right now, but he'll pull himself out of this. He just needs a bit more time."

Madeline smiled. "Walter, you are the eternal optimist. Michael's numbers are as high as they have ever been, but Operations is concerned about what he calls "Michael's recklessness." Simone and Rene have been gone almost a year now. Michael has had time to grieve and readjust."

Walter scowled. "Sometimes, Madeline, a year isn't enough. Sometimes, it takes longer. Michael isn't a robot or a machine. Regardless of what you and Operations think, he is only human after all. How long did it take you to get over your sister's death , Madeline?" Walter sat back and watched with satisfaction as his little arrow hit home. He grinned at first, but then felt the shiver of apprehension as Madeline's eyes narrowed and turned hard. She leaned forward and his heart skipped a beat when she spoke.

"This friend of Michael's that you mentioned...Are you talking about Colette?" Walter collapsed against the back of his chair in relief as he mentally berated himself for even referring to Michael's friends. His breath caught in his throat at Madeline's next comment. "Or, did you mean Grace King, that rather mousy red-headed librarian?"

Madeline grinned evilly. "Did you and Michael really think we didn't know about her?" She paused for effect, and then stood and leaned across her desk, balancing herself on her fingertips. "Now, listen to me carefully, Walter. This is what you are going to do. You will follow my instructions to the letter. Operations and I have plans for Michael and those plans do not include his sudden and tragic demise."

When Walter started to protest, Madeline held up her hand to silence him. "But Walter, our plans might include the sudden and tragic demise of a certain red-headed librarian if you decide not to cooperate. Understand?"

Walter nodded slowly and suddenly felt a lot older than he really was. He began to listen attentively as Madeline spun her web.

************

Madeline sat back and reviewed her profile. It had been easier than she had expected to acquire Walter's cooperation. Apparently, he cared for this Grace person as much as Michael did. They would both want to protect her and that was exactly what Madeline wanted them to do. Grace would be an important part of the rest of Madeline's plan.

Her thoughts were noisily interrupted by the shrill ring of her phone. "Yes?" Madeline rubbed her eyes wearily and listened to the voice on the other end of the line.

Doris asked boldly, "Madeline, do you not trust me anymore?"

Madeline was surprised by her question. "Doris, you've been doing an outstanding job. Why would you ask that?"

Doris was silent for a few seconds, and then asked carefully, "Then why would there be another surveillance team watching Nikita?"

"Another team? What makes you think there is another surveillance team?" Madeline said carefully, expertly masking her surprise at Doris' question. She forced her voice to sound nonchalant, as she furiously tried to figure out the import of Doris' inquiry. What was going on?

"Madeline...I am a surveillance specialist, trained by Section One....I think I know a surveillance team when I see one. The pattern is familiar. It's an old Section pattern that we haven't used in years. It was one of the first I learned. Why is Nikita important to someone else besides you? She's just a street kid, isn't she?" Doris Sakowski was not an excitable operative, but Madeline could tell this situation had the veteran operative spooked. She tried to calm her.

"Doris, listen to me! Think this through. You say it's an old pattern. Whose pattern? Who developed it?"

Doris fought to calm herself. She and Nikita lived hand to mouth for more than two years, until Doris began to notice someone watching them from the shadows. At first, she thought it was just her paranoia, but then when she started watching more closely, she knew it was a surveillance team. Her first thought had been to ask herself it Madeline had lost confidence in her ability to watch and protect Nikita. Now that she had confirmation that the team was not one of Madeline's, she began to calm down and think about whose team it could be. The answer, when it came to her confounded her.

"Madeline, I know this pattern. It's an old one, but I recognize it. It's one of Adrian's. Madeline? Are you still there? Madeline?"

Madeline was fascinated at this turn of events. Who on earth would be using one of Adrian's old surveillance patterns? The only answer that made sense was one she couldn't believe. Was Adrian active again and training her own ops? And, if so, why was she watching a street urchin like Nikita? Did she know who Nikita's father was? Things were getting too complicated and she needed some time to think.

"Doris, I need you to buy me some time to figure out to whom this surveillance team belongs. Take Nikita and disappear. When you get away and settled, call me. I want to know where you are at all times. Do you understand?"

Doris understood. She knew she and her charge were caught in something bad and she was more than willing to disappear for awhile. Doris had made the mistake of starting to care for her charge and the distinctly motherly feelings she had for the young girl kicked out on the street by a slut of a mother was more than enough to motivate her to take Nikita and run. "Of course, I understand, Madeline. I'll call in tomorrow. I'll keep Nikita safe. Don't worry!"

"I'm not worried, Doris," Madeline lied. "I know I can trust you to do your job. I'll be waiting for your call." Madeline disconnected and began working on how to find out who was shadowing Nikita.

************

It didn't take Madeline long to work out solutions to her problems. She was pleased with herself because a few of the problems could be worked out with a common solution. It seemed a given that the young woman, Nikita, should be recruited into Section One. What better place to bring her to keep an eye on her and her father than here in Section? The girl was a bit wild and needed to be tamed. She would be a handful for Michael, but would certainly draw the Section's top operative out of the deep depression that he was in. Madeline smiled to herself. Michael would not know what had hit him. That coupled with the orders she had given Walter would serve to ground Michael and set him back on the right track. Madeline vowed not to mishandle Michael so badly again.

Doris would strongly protest Nikita's recruitment profile. Madeline searched the other Sections for a suitable new posting for the veteran surveillance operative and found something in the substation in New York. Doris' promotion to surveillance trainer would keep her so busy that she wouldn't have time to grieve over her loss of Nikita. A few veiled threats to Nikita's safety would also keep Doris quiet about the shadow surveillance team that she had observed.

Madeline knew she would have to go to Operations with this information about Adrian's possible re-emergence, but she could handle Paul. She had always been able to manipulate him into pursuing whatever path she wanted him to follow.

And finally, Madeline planned the future of Grace King. Her orders to Walter to encourage Michael to rekindle his friendship with Grace would eventually lead to the final dispensation of Madeline's last little problem. After a few months of Grace's tender loving care, Michael would be extricated from her life and his son would be introduced into Grace's life. Madeline now understood that Michael had always expected to have his son taken from him. Madeline's original ruse of faking the child's death with the help of his mother, Simone, had been heavy-handed and ultimately a stupid mistake.

She also knew that the foster parents that were currently caring for the child were not suitable for the long term, but she did know that Grace King would do very well as little Rene's new mother. A few threats to Michael and the child and Madeline knew that Grace would quickly acquiesce to adopting Michael's child. She smiled, knowing that a last glimpse of his son going off into the sunset with his good friend, Grace, would be enough of a fix to keep Section's top op from doing anything stupid. Occasional tantalizing glances of his son would keep Michael in focus.

Madeline remembered the surveillance tapes she had listened to when Michael had confessed his feelings to Simone after Rene's "death." What she heard had convinced her that she had handled that whole scenario so stupidly. She had heard Michael sigh heavily and his words to Simone had almost broken her own hardened heart: "I knew it wouldn't last. I was too happy being a father. I knew he would be taken away, but I always thought it would be Section that took him away.....I never prepared myself for his death." Those few sentences had persuaded Madeline on her current course of action.

She had only to make her proposal to Grace. She was sure that Grace would accept the proposal. All Madeline had to do then was to drop a few hints to get Michael to follow her to the airport so he could see his precious son safe in the arms of his friend, Grace. Knowing his son was alive and loved and cared for should be enough for Michael.

Madeline smiled. Her profiles were always brilliant.

************

Author's note: This last few chapters of this saga have run concurrently with my first story, The Library, which was written over two years ago. That story is told from the viewpoint of Grace King. This one is told from the viewpoint of those in Section One.

I'm archiving this story at ranma's splitpersonality.net and at Juana's site. I hope that you will read and enjoy both stories....My next story will take up where Destiny leaves off. I will be back with that story soon.

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