Birkoff sits dejectedly in front of his terminal. Only part of his mind was following the intel scrolling by, the other part was watching what those around him were doing. Michael and Nikita, both, had returned from their last mission, debriefed, and chattered their way out of section.

Slamming his had against the stop button on the scan, he thought, "It's not fair! It was bad enough when Nikita was first promoted from "trainee" to full Cold-Op status. I mean, it was not really any different then any other transfer....wondering if they would fit in, if they would survive even the first six months."

Looking down at the his computer, he sighed. "Then THEY had to come along." In spite of how he felt, a smirk snuck its way to his lips as here remembered their first appearance. For two days, mysterious pages were found in several locations around Section, funny little stories involving different members of Section.

==========

Operations had not found it funny in any way...at least not where anyone could see him laughing. (There were a few times that Birkoff could have sworn he had seen Ops' lips turn up at the corners) All that anyone had actually seen was Operations in a fury, demanding that the source for the stories be found and dealt with. And, of course, that was to be his job...along with all of his other Intel work.

"Sure, give it Birky. He'll do it, he does everything." he thought to himself. "I never have anything to do, I have plenty of time." He spent two days searching. First he searched the Section computers and internal systems, then all logs of incoming transmissions....nothing. Then widening his search he included the Internet. He was about to give up when the last, and most intensive, search found something. Far off, in the deepest, darkest, dankest, and least travel area of cyber-space, he found what he was looking for.

There before him were a pair of boards, interlocked yet separate, The "LFN Story Boards". Both were filled with stories and comments involving the members of Section. He recognized a couple of stories there online and started to read some of the others. Some were funnier than those which had shown up around Section, others were much, much sadder, still there were a few which were nothing but porn...(it had taken him a couple of attempts to get through those...once the blood returned to it proper location) yet all were good. Doing a quick check on some of the IP's and aliases use, he found that all the writers were amateurs.

There were others there who accessed the site, others who only read and made comments to the creative people. He knew that if there were readers, who were referred to as lurkers, who make comments....then there were many lurkers who never let anyone know they were there.

As time past, Birkoff fell into the addiction these stories created then fed. He found that he couldn't wait to get off work so that he could see if anything new was added. He got addicted to Nikita507's soap-opera; enjoyed comedies created by Ezbee; nearly cried at some of the dramas create by others. When he started showing up as a main character in some of the stories, his heart leaped. He loved it when the authors got him, not only a girlfriend, but laid as well. Then another author figured out a way for him to get back at Madeline...at least on paper. He found it a hoot.

Recently, he had even started making comments and encouragements to some of the authors. Of course, he couldn't let on as to who he was, so he used the aliases of AnonyMouse and Oreo.

============

Back then it seemed like a good idea to keep the site and the writers a secret. He thought to himself. They weren't giving anything away, and no one was hurt. But now he was just tired of everyone, both those in Section and the authors, seeming to ignore him.

It seems all that I am good for anymore is to run sims or do comic relief. Birkoff thinks as he reaches down for an oreo. Bringing it to his mouth, he spots the light-blue cream in the middle. "Damn it," he almost shouts. "I have no life. If it wasn't for fact that my Oreo cream changes colors I would never even know when the seasons change." He throws the cookie across the room smashing it against a wall.

Moments later, Madeline walks down the aisle along the wall and crunches. Looking down at her feet, she sees the light-blue creamily-bloody remains of a Spring-time Oreo. Looking across the room, she sees Birkoff, face pink with anger. Looking back down, she scraps off the bottom of her shoe and walks off.

Sitting back down at his terminal, Birkoff decides that his is not going to take it anymore. He has to do something, anything, or he is going to loose it. Typing in a series of commands, he enters the back door Section has into America Online. Locating the online account of Nikita507, he programs the system to knock her offline. Thinking about it, he decided that it would not be wise to set it up to knock her off every time. It would be better if he used a random number generator. Then when she was knocked off, the generator would choose a new number of calls for her to match.

Sitting back in his chair, Birkoff smiled to himself. Damn, that felt good!! he thought to himself. He couldn't resist, he had to do another. Going through old email he had accessed without the knowledge of those sending and receiving them, he found what he was looking for. 'Chelle would be his next target. He located the company she worked for, accessed the employee listing, and got the name and address of the person he was looking for. Writing the gooshiest love letter he could, he signed 'Chelle's real name to it and mailed it to her fellow employee, Denny.....the one guy in the place she didn't like.

Next, he thought to himself. He continued this until late in the evening. After for or five authors, he decided to see what he could do with those in Section.

Over the next few days, Birkoff worked his way through both the authors and Section. Many he left alone, but the choice few got hit.

With Nikita, he contacted one of the most expensive candy companies in the country and had a 10 pound box of their most expensive Hand-Dipped Swiss chocolates sent to her in Michael's name. He made sure to make it a cash purchase so that he could not be traced.....took a little more work, but he felt it would be worth it.

Birkoff then moved to Walter. Digitizing Walter's picture, he morphed him into a dress placed it into a bogus copy of The Transvestite News and mailed it along with a paid receipt for a years subscription to Belinda....Walter's new Lady-Love.

Michael started receiving subscriptions to True Romance and Modern Loving.

Finally, as the coupe di grace, Madeline received notification that her name had reached the head of the recipient list for transplants, and that a heart donor had been found for her. The notification also stated that she was to report to the local hospital for a final evaluation before procedure.

He was about to start in on a writer who went by the name of Ranma on the Storyboards. His plan was to reveal her real name, address, phone number and other choice private information on the net when Madeline interupted him.

"Birkoff," Madeline said in her normal tone. "We have a sim we need your help to set up in Group Conference Room 5. Could you come with me."

Grabbing his clipboard and palm comp., he rose to follow, "Sure."

Walking down three aisles, turning two corner in the process, they reached the door as it opened. As Birkoff walked in, the lights came on and he jumped when everyone jumped out shouting "Happy Birthday, Birkoff."

(Author's Note - be careful, you never know when he will throw another fit)

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