Things had been pretty quiet through the night. The only oddities were the occasional "burps" from different speakers which where on property (computer speakers, Diskman earphones or speakers, walkman radios, Speakerphones), occasional flashes from an unattended monitor or a sheet of paper fed through a printer for no reason. Once Section Security decided it was not sabotage from outside, or inside, Section, it became a problem for maintenance. Unfortunately, by morning, Maintenance was pulling out it's collective hair trying to figure out what was happening.

As every clocks changed to 6:59 a.m., every speaker in the place erupted with the song:

"I'm so glad we had this time together,
just to have a laugh or sing a song;
Seem we just get started and before you know it,
comes the time we have to say 'Good-bye,'"

sung in the voice of Carol Burnett. In the background, barely audible over the song was the sounds of surprise not limited to clipboards being dropped, squeaks of fear from the unsuspecting, a couple of chairs falling over and choice cuss words.

Michael arrived at the end of the song and saw everyone in an uproar. Some people were checking connections, others were checking the machines and, still others, were typing furiously at their terminals. Every one of them with the same goal in mind: to find the source of the music.

Michael walked over to Simon, who had pulled the graveyard shift, and demanded, "What just happened?"

"Don't know," he continued typing with a vengeance, "'what we are trying to find out."

"Where's Birkoff? Does he know about this?" Michael leaned forward, resting the palms of his hand on the desk edge of the terminal station. The second his skin touched the metal, all of the speakers began spewing forth the song, "Secret Agent Man" with full instrumentals and stereo sound. Everyone winced and worked even harder.

"NO, HE HASN'T ARRIVED YET," Simon yelled, "HE IS NOT SCHEDULED TO COME IN FOR ANOTHER COUPLE OF HOURS YET...." the music ended, "....I HAVE CONTacted him to tell him we have a situation. He wanted to know what it was, but how could I explain this??"

"Fine, have him contact me when he comes in. We have to get to the bottom of this." Michael turned away and went to his office. When he entered the room the song "Secret Agent Man" played again, but this time only from those speakers within his office. 'This could get a little annoying,' he thought to himself.

**************

Sitting at his desk, Michael switched on his computer only to be greeted by:

"Michael, Michael, He's our man;
If he can't do it no one can....."

flashing on the screen. "Sh*t," he said, as he rebooted his system, "When I find out who is doing this...." He was ready to run an anti-viral program, but it booted up with no sign of anything having happened previously. Running the program anyway, he found nothing wrong with the system.

Just then, Operations entered Section and everyone in the place knew it had to be him because the place was filled with:

"The Devil went down to Georgia,
he was looking for a soul to steal;
He was in a bind, 'cause he was way behind,
and looking to make a deal."

followed with a shout of "WHAT THE HELL. . . ?"

Michael smiled to himself at his desk and thought, "This may not be too bad after all." He got up, shut off his computer, and headed towards the Observation Deck, knowing he would be called shortly. "Who ever was doing this was good," Michael thought, climbing the stairs. Entering the room, the speakers played "Secret Agent Man," then went silent.

"Well??" Operations demanded.

"I just arrived. According to this report, nightcrew said that this didn't start until 6:59 this morning. The night was quiet accept for a few "burps" from speakers, monitor flashes, blank pages from printer. Security found no intrusion; external or internal. At this time, there is no clue as to what is going on."

"I want to know what is going on and I want to know it yesterday!" Operations demanded. Just then, the speakers in the room coughed and started playing, "Return to Sender," as a sheet of paper fell from nowhere above their heads and into Michael's hands. Turning it to read his face went white. It read....

"....and headed towards the Observation Deck, knowing he would be called shortly.

"Who ever was doing this was good," Michael thought, climbing the stairs. Entering the room, the speakers played "Secret Agent Man," then went silent.

"Well??" Operations demanded.

"I just arrived. According to this report, nightcrew said that this didn't start until 6:59 this morning. The night was quiet accept for a few "burps" from speakers, monitor flashes, blank pages from printer. Security found no intrusion; external or internal. At this time, there is no clue as to what is going on."

"I want to know what is going on and I want to know it yesterday!" Operations demanded. Just then, the speakers in the room coughed and started playing, "Return to Sender," as a sheet of paper fell from nowhere above their heads into Michael's hands. Turning it to read his face went white. It read....

His hand shook as he handed it to Operations. "This is impossible...." Operations said, his face and voice grim.

******************

Everyone was just finishing up the second check when Madeline arrived. Of course, everyone knew someone new was there. They all stopped and listened to the song as it played:

Cruella DeVille, Cruella DeVille......

They were placing wagers on who it was, when Madeline turned the corner to the main room. "Yessss," was heard in the background along with laughs and comments of, "Of course.....couldn't have been anyone else.....now that you think of it.....Pay up"

Madeline went straight to her office, threw her things on her desk, and went straight to the Observation Deck. Ignoring the song which erupted from the speakers of each room she entered, she stomped up the stairs and entered the Deck.

"WHAT THE H*LL IS GOING ON..." she shouted over the music.

Neither Operation nor Michael bothered to speak until the music ended. Michael hid a smile under his hand when she walked in and the song, "Cruella DeVille," had started to play. "Damn, who ever is doing this definitely has both a sense of humor, and a sense of the personalities of this place." he thought to himself.

"We have no idea what is going on," Operations stated emotionlessly. "It is almost as if the place is haunted. Not only is there this music, which seems to have a theme for some of the people, but this fell out of nowhere from the ceiling..." He hands Madeline the page in his hand.

Madeline reads the page, looks from Michael to Operations, "And?"

"And," Operations continues, "everything on that page had just happened before it fell from the ceiling...."

The color, what little there was to begin with, drained from Madeline's face as she slid down into a chair. Not a word was spoken. The three of them looked out over Section's main "war room" and watched everyone working to find out what had happened.

About an hour later, things remained quiet. That is to say, everything remained quiet as long as Michael, Operations, and Madeline remain in the one room. There had been no further themes played and, finding nothing, people had begun to go back to projects which were needed done.

*****************

Waiting tensely, Michael, Operations, and Madeline began to discuss the profile of a mission coming up. Operations thumbed his terminal on, and across the screen flashed:

Nanny, nanny, boo, boo,
Ops is filled with poo poo;
'love to watch him sit and stew,
so sent some backhills Mountain Dew....hic!

Suddenly, the smell of alcohol filled the air and Michael turned towards Operations when he heard a splash to see him soaked. "What...." Madeline asked, having seen the liquid appear over Ops' head.

Operation flipped a switch transferring what was on his monitor to the holoscreen. Sniffing and tasting his lapel, he proclaims, "Tennessee White Lightning."

"Better go get cleaned up." Madeline suggests. She had a smirk on her face even though she is still unnerved and the color, what little there was, had not returned to her face. "I have several suits in the store room in your size."

They both leave the Observation Deck and the harshest sounds come out all the speakers in the main area. No knows what to make of it until they realize that it is both "Cruella DeVille" and "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" playing at the same time.

While Michael is studying a mission profile up in the O.D. and Madeline and Operations are in her office getting him cleaned up, Birkoff finally arrived. Entering to the song of:

	"There creepy and their kooky,
		Mysterious and spooky;
	Their altogether ooky,
		The Addams Family."

Birkoff waved off people as they all but ran to him. He had no time for anyone who would have been unable to aid in finding out what was happening to HIS babies. Turning killer looks on and staring down those who had the nerve to giggle, he headed straight to his console. He knew Operations would be yelling for him shortly, and he wanted to know as much as possible before that happened. Simon walked up to him, "No sign of any rogue programs or viruses; NOT just the computer and telephone equipment either..... each and every item..... everything which has a speaker, plays the music."

"Must be some sort of short range broadcaster, then," Birkoff stated flatly. "Have you bothered to test for it." He looked up at Simon with a look he usually reserved for people still using an 8086 from Radio Shack.

"Of course, that was the first thing I did. Not a sign of on anywhere." he replied, feeling the heat of Birkoff's stare.

"Fine, I let Madeline talk me into moving into an apartment outside of headquarters and the first night I am gone....all hell breaks loose." He slams his fist in the solid steal of the console, then pats the spot he just punched as though apologizing. "Ok, update me on exactly what happened.

*******************

Simon quickly brings Birkoff up to speed as Birkoff takes his place at his terminal. Punching in a series of commands, he's screen goes blank; then the following appears on the screen:

"What is the thinnest book in the world?",

and the cursor stopped, sitting, blinking two lines down.

"What the....?" Birkoff typed in the command for a series of vaccines to start.

On the screen, the message: "Sorry, your answer is wrong. Please try again." and the camera monitoring for the War Room shorted out with sparks and a loud hissing.

Birkoff cussed under his breath and moved to another station. The second he sat down, the screen went blank except for the same message as the first. Birkoff spun his chair, each monitor he looked at repeated what the first two did. Turning back to his station, he tried again, "Override AutoFunction, Ident: 553OpB6."

Again he received: "Sorry, your answer is wrong. Please try again." This time a loud echoing POP sounded from the entrance hall and Birkoff looked over to one of the monitors as it went black.

Birkoff jumped when every speaker in the War Room exploded with sound. He recognized it as "I Need A Man" by the Eurythmics. As Nikita entered the War Room, everyone heard:

I don't need a heartbreaker,
fifty face double maker,
two timing tom taker,
dirty little money maker,
muscle bound cheapskate,
low down woman hater,
dripping dozen double dater,
yellowedbellied alligator.

There were snickers, and even Birkoff had to smirk at that one. Nikita walked over to Birkoff and was about to ask what was going when he stopped her by saying, "I have no idea. I can't even get passed this question to get into the computer."

Nikita looked over his shoulder at his screen, read the question and laughed, "What Men Know About Women."

"What?"

"The answer to the question: What is the thinnest book in the world?" she grinned at him. "What Men Know About Women."

"You've got to be kidding?" he was dumbfounded and a little nervous to try this answer, but he typed it in.

"Correct.

Level one access granted."

******************

"I don't believe this," Birkoff all but screamed. His hair was all over the place, one of his shirt-tails was untucked from his pants, and he looked as if he hadn't slept for days.....yet it had only been a couple of hours. "Damn, I'm out of Oreos again..... and that was a new pack." He turned and looked accusingly at Michael, Madeline and Nikita standing behind him. They stared back in innocence. He thumbed the comm unit opening a connection to the kitchen. "Oreos, NOW."

"Sir?" was the tinny reply.

Madeline leaned over, smiled motherly at Birkoff, and said to the person at the other end of the intercom, "Private stock, Birk34. Please send it to Station WR1, immediately."

"Yes, ma'am. Right away." the tinny voice replied before switching off of the unit.

"Yeah, right." Birkoff turned back to the console.

Nikita, leaning over to Madeline and whispering so Birkoff wouldn't hear, "Private Stock?"

"It was the only way we could make sure we always had some on hand."

Nikita gave Madeline one of her sly grins, "Have you ever thought of putting him in an Oreo-holic meeting."

"Yes, but then we would have to cancel the meetings after the fact each week." Both their attention returned to Birkoff when they heard a clipboard being slammed down on the desktop.

"Another of those damn questions....." Without saying a word, he moved to one side allowing both Madeline and Nikita to read it. He had given up even the attempt to answer these questions after the second, which caused every camera in all of the 'interrogation' rooms to exploded in a showers of sparks.

"How do you force a man to do sit-ups?"

Madeline and Nikita both giggled and nodded their heads in agreement. In unison, with a big smile, they answered, "Put the remote control between his legs."

Michael turns a dead stare at the both of them. "You two are enjoying this way too much." He stood there watching the two of them giggling at these jokes. Every one of the jokes, so far, put men down, and every woman in the place was loving it. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing for these two particular women to have found this in common.....it could prove dangerous to the men of Section.

Just then, a runner from the commissary reached the station with a BIG bag of Double Stuff Oreos. Grabbing the bag from the man, Birkoff ripped only one end and downed two without thinking. "Damn it, I just want to know what is going on.....

************

Everything grows silent as another sheet of paper fall from nowhere into Birkoff's hands and he begins to read......

and whispering so Birkoff wouldn't hear, "Private Stock?"

"It was the only way we could make sure we always had some on hand." Both their attention returned to Birkoff when they heard a clipboard being slammed down on the desktop.

"Another of those damn questions....." Without saying a word, he moved to one side allowing both Madeline and Nikita to read it. He had given up even the attempt to answer these questions after the second, after the cameras in every 'interrogation' room exploded in a mass of sparks.

"How do you force a man to do sit-ups?"

Madeline and Nikita both giggle and nod their heads in agreement. In unison, with a big smile, they answer, "Put the remote control between his legs."

Michael turns a dead stare at the both of them. "You two are enjoying this way too much." He stands there watching the two of them giggling of these jokes. Every one of the jokes put down men, and every woman in the place was loving it. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing for these to women to have found this in common, it could prove dangerous to the men of Section.

Just then, a runner from the commissary reached the station with a BIG bag of Double Stuff Oreos. Birkoff grabbed the bag from the man, ripped only one end and downed two without thinking.

"Damn it, I just want to know what is going on.....

Everything grows silent as another sheet of paper fall from nowhere into Birkoff's hands and he begins to read......

"So, the only way YOU could make sure there were always some on hand, huh?" Birkoff said. Then he turned to Michael and said, "I agree, it could be dangerous...." Birkoff's face paling as he just realized what he had read.

Nikita's mouth dropped open; Madeline grew even paler (which was a feat for her); Michael grabbed the page out of Birkoff's hand and read it.

Just then, the comm unit burped at them. "Everyone to my office, I want an update." Operation's voice stated, "Oh, and come in singly, I would rather have one song at a time not all at once......the noise hurts my head." (Authors note: small hangover headache from the "Tennessee Mountain Dew." giggle)

*****************

One by one, they filed into Operations office, each waiting until the other's theme ended before entering. Birkoff, being the last to enter, cringed as the Addams Family theme started.....

....Mysterious and spooky,
Their altogether ooky,
The Addams Family.

(Nikita can't resist) snap, snap

...and turned to Nikita at the sound of snapping fingers. "Very funny.....still needing a man?"

Nikita frowned at the remark and turned away. She glanced at Michael who sat staring at the two of them without expression.

"Enough," Operation said, daggers in his voice. "That is enough from the both of you. This has got to stop."

Just then, the song " Mr. Grinch" from How the Grinch Stole Christmas poured out of the speakerphone. Operations yanked the phone cord from the wall and threw the machine across the room, shattering it. The little three inch speaker flew free of the rest of the unit, yet still it continued to play.

Walking around the end of his desk, Operation's sat on the front edge. "Have we come up with any answers yet?"

The four others looked at each other, as if each were saying, "I'm not telling him, you tell him." Finally Madeline, with a look at the others which said, 'FINE,' spoke. "We have found all most no answers as to what is going on. But, we have eliminated some possibilities."

"Oh?" Operations raised on eyebrow. "Go on."

"So far we have found no trace of any local broadcasting equipment or signal which could or would effect all devices containing speakers." Madeline stated.

Birkoff leaned forward. "As far as I can tell, there have been no rogue programs or viruses introduced to the system, but I am still checking."

"What is taking so long?" Operations insisted.

"I am having to answer a stupid question every time I start to do something. I have to be care full to give the right answer, else one of the mechanicals gets fried."

"What if we physically disconnected as many of the mechanical as possible from the system?" Ops asked.

"Doesn't help. Some of the mechanicals fried had been disconnected, a couple had never been connected."

******************

Just then a musical "Ta-Da" of success sounded behind Operation and he jumped up from the edge of his desk, turned to look and backed away. The other stretched to see around him, and they too scooted back in their seats, away from the desk. There, sitting pretty as you please, as though it had never been moved, was the speakerphone Operations had flung across the room. It looked as new as the day it was installed...not a single crack anywhere. Out of its speaker rolled a dark, deep, booming laugh.

They all left the room in a joint exodus. Michael pulled Nikita to one side. Looking deeply into her eyes, he asks, "Are you going to be all right?"

"Yes, Michael, I take was spooky though." Nikita looked at him with a little suspicion in her face. "Why?"

"What do you mean, 'Why?' Because I care." Just then the speaker beside him started to softly play the song "Would I Lie to You." by the Eurythmics.

Nikita laughed and walked off

Birkoff typed furiously in yet another vain attempt to get information. Every time he reached his normal rhythm, two minutes of typing then one Oreo, he would hit another question. "Damn it, if I ever find out who is doing this I will break his or her %$#@$%^& neck. (Authors Note: Even I won't type the language he is using by now!)

Reaching for another Oreo, he saw a flutter out of the corner of his eye. He quickly turned only to see that his Oreos, package and all, had disappeared. Jumping to his feet, he shouted, "MY OREOS!!"

Operations, Madeline, Michael and Nikita turned when they heard the shout. Birkoff stood at his terminal, a crestfallen look on his face, holding the empty tray the package had been resting on. "And that was nearly a new package too. Why is this happening to me?"

Operation stood there with a silly smirk on his face; Madeline giggled; Michael turned and covered the fact he was laughing with his hand and a cough; and Nikita, on the other side of the room, was in shock...her mouth hanging open. Her chin couldn't have fallen any further without breaking the cookies in the plastic bag in her hands. They had fallen out of nowhere and she had barely caught them in time.

Seeing the look on Birkoff's face and the way he was holding the tray, Nikita, knees shaking, walked over to Birkoff. Gently placing the package of Oreos back on the tray, she turned to walk away but fell in a dead faint.

Michael and Madeline rushed to catch her. Madeline. reaching her first. succeeded in slowing her fall, keeping her from being seriously hurt. When Madeline turned to see what had happened to Michael, she found him sprawled, face down on the floor....his ankles tied together by a little boy's blue jumprope.

******************

"What the devil?" Everyone turned to see Jurgen had entered and the song:

My Boyfriends back and your going to be in trouble,
hey la, hey la, my boyfriends back....

spewed forth from the speakers.

Operations falls into the nearest chair, "Someone get me a cup of coffee." The sound voice rebounded off the walls. A cup of steaming hot coffee, a bowl of sugar, and a ceramic creamer in the shape of a cow slides across the desk to his hands. Looking around, he sees that the nearest person is ten feet away. "What the hell." Operations said as he reached for the cup. Just as he started to lift the cup to drink, a sliced Jalapeno fell into the cup. Not having seen the pepper, he took a big swig from the cup. In less time than it takes to blink, coffee flew from his mouth and a few sprinkle hits Jurgen arm.

Still choking, Operations grab an emergence inhaler hidden in an internal pocket of his blazer. Taking a deep breath of the antihistamine from the inhaler, the choking slowly subsides.

"Just what has been going on here, I go on vacation for a couple of days, and it seems as though all hell has broken loose." Jurgen asks. As he looked around the room for answers, he sees Madeline on her knees with Nikita's head cradled in her lap; Michael seated on the floor fighting what seems like a loosing battle with a blue rope; Operation half bent over recovering his breath; Birkoff hugging his Oreos; and a flash message on all the monitors which read:

Finish this story:

Two men are out hunting and they get into an argument.
"Those are deer tracks," one insists.
"No," says the other, "I'm sure they're elk tracks."
................................!

Jurgen isn't at all amused and figured that when he finally finds out what is going on, he still won't be. "I'll be on the Observation Deck if someone should decide to let me in on everything that's been going on here." Just as he turned to leave the room a whirlwind grabbed up one end of some continuous feed computer paper and wrapped it around his entire body, making him look as if he were a paper mache mummy.....or in his case, pappy.

As he tore his way out of the paper wrapping, he saw print on its surface. Stopping, he began to read things which had happened earlier, word for word, thought for thought, action for action. He looked up with a hint of an idea of what was going on. Turning back to Operations he spoke, "....and of course you decided you could handle this." He shook the what was left of some of the pages at Operations. "My advice would be to contact a Priest." With that he stopped up the stairs to the Observation Deck and slammed the door open as he entered.

*******************

Some minutes later, everyone had recover to some extent, and hushed conversation were taking place everywhere. Nikita, though still slightly groggy, had come too; Operation was breathing normally; Michael suffered only a few ropeburns on his ankles and a bruised knee; Birkoff was slowly stuffing one cookie at a time into his mouth; Madeline standing in one spot, unable to think, talk, or manipulate a thing.

Suddenly, a manly/womanly scream pierced the air, chilling everyone to the bone. With the second scream, which was more like a shout this time, they realized it was coming from the Observation Deck. Operations and Michael ran for the stairs, closely followed by Madeline, Birkoff and Nikita. Reaching the door, Michael and Operations froze. Unable to get to the door, the other three had to make do with the glass wall. What they saw, made them freeze just like Michael and Operations.

Moments later, Walter came bounding up after, asking, "What was that....? I heard it all the way down the hall." Then he, too, looked into the office.

There before them was the Observation Deck turned on its head. The desk, chairs, plants, and even the carpet was on the ceiling. Everything which had been on the desk before was, somehow, still in its proper place. Even the dirt in the potted plants had remained there.

When they saw the look on Jurgen's face, standing there feet planted firmly on the ceiling, the spell was broken. Operation let out a hee-haw that caused everyone on the main floor to jump. All the rest followed suit with Madeline laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. That is except for Birkoff, who slowly and silently fainted, Oreo in one hand/bag in the other.

Suddenly, Operation stopped laughing when he found himself standing right next to Jurgen....head over heals watching the other laughing so hard that they had to sit where they were standing. Birkoff started coming too, sat up groggily, then he, also, began to laugh. "Damn it, I will not put up with this," Operations shouted. "Get me down from here, NOW!!"

*****************

This, of course, set the other to laughing even harder. Even Jurgen forgot his situation and started laughing uncontrollably. Operation got even angrier. Then when no one seemed to be able to stop laughing, he started getting nervous. As the moments past, his nervousness shifted slowly to the area of fear.

"Help me, please." The uncharacteristic plea in Op's voice caught the attention of both Madeline and Nikita. Struggling to stand, they walked through the door, speakers vomiting forth both "I Need a Man" and Cruella DeVille" at the same time. Wincing at the sound, they walked over to Op's. Each of them grabbed an arm and started to pull down. They pulled so hard they felt their feet leave the floor. With so much of their weight on his arms, they felt themselves slipping, yet they hung on as tightly as possible. Hearing a ripping sound, both Nikita and Madeline fall flat on their butts each staring at the limp carcasses of Operations jacket and shirt sleeves in their hands.

Looking in and watching the goings on in the office Michael, Walter and Birkoff saw the entire office fill with a shimmering light. One second later, the office was back to normal with a few exceptions......

Walter was the first to run into the office. Passing the threshold triggered the speakers to play, "Bad Moon Rising." Unlike the other's, Walter didn't mind his theme. He had always like that song......

To those in the office, it was as if all reality shifted. suddenly the entire office was back to normal. The only sign that anything had happened, was the pieces of clothing in the ladies' hands and Operation moan from having fallen on his ass HARD.

"Is everyone all right?" Walter asked. He reached out a hand to Nikita, "Sugar?"

"Thanks, Walter," Nikita said as she took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. "I'm fine."

"Well, I'm NOT." Operations said, rubbing his butt. "I want a team ready in 5." Turning to Michael, he continued, "Get your team together. I want a priest here to deal with this.....You hear me? I want him here and I want him here YESTERDAY."

***********************

The nighttime sky was filled to overflowing with clouds blocking a all possible light from above. Thanks to the street gangs and kids, half the street light were broken out which made the streets darker then those just a block or two away.

A featureless figure in dark clothing and hat had just finished locking the double front door and started down the steps as a van pulled up to the curb. Reaching the sidewalk, he looked cautiously at the van. Seeing that it was nicer then most seen in this part of town, he didn't really feel it to be a threat, possibly lost but not a threat. Not really giving it a second thought, he walked over to see if they were lost and if he could be of help.

As he spoke to the person seated in the passenger seat, dark figures, all most invisible with the lack of light came up from behind. With a quick grab, they had both his arms and a hand holding a cloth soaked in chloroform pressed over his nose and mouth. The sound of the engine running covered the muffled yelp of surprise he let out and the quick steps of those who carried him to the back of the van.

. . . . .

Only five operatives exited the loading area. The driver, Walter (who rode shotgun....no one knew why he decided to go...maybe he thought they would stop for ice cream or something.....he did mention that he could use a Pepsi Float....), Nikita, and Jurgen with Michael, arm and arm, towing a bound and gagged gentleman in black clothing between them. He was only slightly groggy, but still awake enough to put up a little resistance. If this were under normal circumstances, they would have taken him to one of Madeline's Play Rooms, but this was not. Instead, they went immediately to central area of the War Room. (Operation refused to go anywhere near the Observation Deck until what ever this was, was gone.

When they reached Operation, he was sitting in one of the chairs with Madeline close to him. In fact, Walter notice that if Madeline were any closer she would have been sitting on Operations shoulders and nudged Nikita pointing this out to her. Nikita could hardly control the urge to giggle and say something cute about it. In the background, much to Operations annoyance, the song "Hotel California" by the Eagles was playing and, from the look on everyone else's faces, had been since the van had left on their......"errand?" Only a couple of people in the far back seemed not to mind...in fact they were enjoying themselves and dancing.

******************

With a quick flick of a thumbknife and yank of the tape over his mouth, the first words out of the hostage's mouth were, "Who are you people and where have you brought me?"

With a rye grin, Jurgen breathed, "You don't want to know." at the same time that Michael said, "If we told you, we would have to cancel you."

"Now, now. Both of you cut it out." Operations said with frustrated strain in his voice. "We aren't going to cancel anyone, not while I'm here."

"All right, who are you and what have you done with Operation." Nikita blurted out.

The only man in the world whose number of ordered cancellations were probably second only to that of Hitler stood there and stared at her until she took an involuntary half step backwards.

"We need his help." Madeline stepped forward, then turned to the gentleman in black. "You see we have a situation here which none are capable of handling."

"What make you think I can handle what ever it is?" He said warily, looking into her face.

"Well, you are a priest, aren't you...."

"But, I...." he attempted to interrupt.

"....and your denomination has had to deal with things like this in the past." She continued without allowing him to finish. "It seems as though we have a non-physical, flesh-impaired, invisible intruder who is reeking havoc on everything around. We find we are unable to get any work done around here until this is dealt with."

"But, my dear lady," he said in such a sarcastic voice, you could tell he questioned her right to the title 'lady', "I cannot help you."

"But you must," Operations insisted, his voice still firm, but with just the slight tinge of desperation. "You can't deny us."

"No, you misunderstand. It's not that I wouldn't help you if I could," he said shaking his head. "It that I can't. I am not a priest.......I am a Rabbi.....Rabbi Goldstein is my name."

Suddenly, in the loudest volume possible, the speaker erupted with sound. Half the speakers were filled with laughter, while the other half were filled with the song:

If I were a rich man, la-a de-e de-e dum......

causing everyone to cover their ears.

As the music and laughter ended, all which was heard was Operation shouting, "DAMN!! DAMN!! DAMN!! DAMN!! DAMN!! DAMN!! DAMN!! You idiots, you got the wrong man. Take him back to where you found him and get me the right man for the job. Else...." he was suddenly cut off by the return of the song "Hotel California."

********************

Madeline escorted them back to the loading bay. They had only a few hours of darkness left to find a priest and get him back here without having to do a daylight snatch which could make thing more difficult in the long run.

As she walked beside the Rabbi, she explained to him that he could never tell anyone of this else he and his entire family would suffer then disappear forever....

"Oye! Who would I tell, who would believe me....." he said as everything around went dark when someone placed a blindfold over his eyes.

. . . .

Driving around in the dark, they had just dropped off the Rabbi and didn't know where to go next. Walter, riding up in front (hoping that they would be able to stop for Pepsi Floats this time), over heard them discussing where they were going to find a priest.

Flipping the intercom switch, he said flatly, "Did anyone ever think to look in the phonebook." He grinned when he heard paper flying everywhere and what sounded like someone whispering 'shit.'

. . . .

Exiting the loading bay AGAIN (sigh), this time with a Roman Catholic Priest. Michael and Jurgen lead the parade with a nervous and scared priest between them. Behind them followed the driver, Birkoff munching on an Oreo Blizzard, Walter sipping a Pepsi Float, and Nikita. Nikita spent every chance she could trying to catch Michael's eye while she licked her ice cream cone which consisted of a scoop of FRENCH vanilla CREAM on top of a scoop of Wild Mountain Honey ice cream and a sugar waffle cone. It was almost more then he could stand to see her with ice cream dripping down her fingers, hand and from one corner of her mouth.

As they entered the main area, Nikita's long tongue took a slow lick just a Michael looked at her and song 'Thunder and Lightning' filled the room:

Ooooooooohhhhhhh, what good thin' that I got.
ooooooooo, it's such a whip that I got
I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i don't think that I can stand it..
Thunder and lightning, oh yeah, I tell you its frightenin''.
I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i thought my life was complete,
love what' cha doin' to me,,,,,,

Michael turned away too quickly and Nikita giggled. For that reaction alone, Nikita figured that she owed Walter a favor. She was more than glad that he had gotten fed up, pulled a gun, and forced the driver to go through the drive through at Dairy Queen.

When they finally reached Operations, the speakers swelled with the music of a full philharmonic orchestra playing 'Ave Maria.' Walter looked at Operations with a wry grin, "I guess we got the right one this time."

Operation, with a sign, looked back at Walter, "I hope so, I really hope so."

**********************

After explaining the situation to the priest, one Father Mother, they showed him to the areas where most of the incidents happened. When they reached the Observation Deck, the priest felt something grab him around the neck. It didn't squeeze as if to choke, it just hung there. Without warning, the two-inch cross around his neck floated up into the are and jiggled there. From the speakers in the room the sound of a giggle as though someone was innocently happy. After just a couple of moments, a shinny clear slime formed on the bottom part of the cross and dripped off.

The priest felt something reaching into his pocket and pull out the miter filled with Holy Water which he shook when blessing people and places. This hovered in mid-air, shaking like one would a rattle sprinkling everyone around.

"There is something truly different about this situation," Father Mother said with all seriousness to those around him. "This is not a demonic influence." Reaching for a pencil and paper on the desk, he wrote down a name and address. "Would you be so kind as to contact this woman and have her come here. Tell her that I am here and I am asking for her professional opinion. She should be available tonight, but even if she isn't, for me she will come." He started to hand it to Operations, but Ops deferred to Michael.

As the team went out AGAIN (SIGH.....developing a pattern I would say.......grin.). Madeline, Operations, Birkoff and Father Mother went to the cafeteria for some coffee.

**********

The van driver all but ran from the loading bay. All anyone heard from him was incoherent babblings and only then could they understand but a few statements: .....don't care.....cancel me......better then.....yakaty, yakaty.....what.....who..... how long.....much longer.....there yet......thirsty.......no hungry.....no thirsty.....children..... grandchildren......Dairy Queen.......Oreos.......Blizzard......never before.......rather Madeline.......date twins.....never again......cancel me.......

The look on his face was just as disturbing. One eye was a wide open as humanly possible. The corner of his mouth, opposite his wide open eye, twitch spasmodically. His right hand kept clenching and unclenching.

Michael followed him out of the loading bay escorting an extremely esoteric, highly eccentric, oddly flamboyant and ridiculously talkative lady. And lady she was, for if you didn't treat her as such, she would let you know about it. She wore a leopard skin jumpsuit, with a zebra skin jacket. Her hair was piled, what seemed like, a foot high which brought her to the same height as Michael. The five inch stiletto heals on her feet clicked on the tiled floors. Yet as loud as they were, they were drowned out by the ringing of all the metal on her body. Michael wasn't sure, but he wondered of she had kept Kmart open with all the jewelry she had purchased.

******************

She stopped just a few feet into the building and he turned to ask her if anything was wrong. She stood there, frozen, looking at him through the rhinestone, catseye glasses she wore. She said nothing at first, the straw of the Oreo Blizzard she had forced the driver to stop and get, still between her lips. Then she spoke, "There is great loneliness here."

Suddenly, she began walking and talking as if nothing had happened, as if totally unaware of what she had just said. This un-nerved Michael as did sever other things which had happened since they had picked her up....including the sudden desperate need for an Oreo Blizzard.

As they reached the others, she ran to Father Mother shout "Mother!!!" The sound of her feet moving so quickly reminded Walter that he needed to check on those AK-47 machine guns which had just arrived.

"Lorraine my dear. I'm so glad you were able to come." he said giving her big hug. "Did you get the new pair of Bunny Slippers I sent you?"

"Oh, yes. They fit perfectly....and go so well with my red flannel nightgown......By the way, I don't really understand this, but during the entire drive over here, I kept having the feeling that I know Michael from someplace. Plus, for some reason, I keep seeing him with laundry and there is this feeling of extreme fear." She shudders at the memory. "Does this have anything to do with why I here?"

"No. But there is something which I feel your unique sensitivies could help me with." Father Mother replied.

As they two of them were catching up, the others notice a gurney being rolled by towards MedLab. Strapped down to it was the driver, still babbling. They heard him start to moan when he turned his head and saw Lorraine in passing.

Nikita looked over to Michael, "What's wrong with him?" she asked nodding in the direction of the gurney.

Michael just grinned back at her and said, "Don't ask."

Just then Birkoff came into the room with paperwork for Operations. All conversation ceased as the Addams Family theme played. Lorraine heard it and started humming. At its conclusion, she raised her hands in the air and went "snap, snap." "Catchy tune there." Seeing Birkoff for the first time, her face brightened. "So, young man, your the reason I had this unreasonable urge for this disgusting thing," and she waved her Dairy Queen cup with the remainder of the SOGGY COOKIE ice cream congealing in the bottom. "You know if you would just get laid, this fetish you have for Oreos would either cease or take on a new light."

Nikita jabs Birkoff in the ribs, "See, Birky, I told you."

Birkoff blushed, handed the papers to Operations, turned and ran from the room. Nikita started to chuckle, but Lorraine cut in.

"None of you have any room to talk," she said with that far-off look in her eyes. "I see a road sign....it reads 'Route 69'.....and a sign which says 'No Tell Motel.'" As she came out of the momentary trance-like state, she looked around to see most of those around her looking away or up at the ceiling.

She grinned to herself. There were times when she knew when to remember exactly what she saw and said, but there were also times when she knew when it was safer for herself and those around her not to seem to know. "Now, show me this room where the most extreme of the activities have taken place," she purred, taking Operations arm.

*********************

As they entered the Observation Deck, they all noticed that there was not a single note played from the speakers. The only sounds audible were occasional mumblings as if someone was talking to themselves. Sometimes it sounded as though it was pleased, other moments it sounded unsatisfied.

Almost from the moment she entered, Lorraine felt its presence. At first it seemed as if it filled the entire room, but as each moment passed the presence became more and more centralized. She spoke without thinking of what she was saying, " There is a strong presence here." She continued to walk around the room, "This is a young one. It is filled with loneliness, sadness."

Finally she stopped beside the chair which was behind the desk. "You were right, Father, this is not of demonic influence. This is someone who is lost and searching." She seemed to go deeper into a trance-like state. "Searching for something which was lost to it at death. It doesn't understand or doesn't want to understand that it is dead. All it wants is to be near daddy and Uncle Jurgen." Tears began to roll down her face, "It longs to be near those it knew in life, those it felt safe with....felt love from." Tears were starting to flow down her cheeks. "It has felt so alone, but being so very near the living....it had been satisfied. I keep getting the name 'Jurgen' and the feelings of 'funny man'." Lorraine looked at Jurgen without really seeing him. "It felt safe with him, had fun with him....."

Jurgen snorted and turned away. Everyone else in the room went white. A single tear rolled down Michael's cheek as he realized the implications of what Lorraine was saying. Nikita's mouth hung open in silence as she realized just who this poltergeist was. Madeline shivered and Operation down right shook.

Then Lorraine turned towards Operations and looked at him as though looking through him. "Now, I am getting the feelings of sadness and anger again. I keep hearing 'bad man make daddy sad' and the need do get back at him."

Lorraine turned toward the chair. "He has to be made to understand that he is no longer among the living.....that it is time to...."

Michael took a step forward and cut her off by starting to say "No.." Suddenly he felt this weight around his neck. With it was a scent he hand not smelled in a long, long time. The smell of baby powder hung around his head. Lifting his arms into a cradling-like position he felt the ghostly weight of his long dead son and he never wanted to let go.

Softly an old song started to play on the speakers. Michael didn't hear it at first

....goodbye papa please pray for me,
I was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong.
too much wine and too much song,
wonder how I got along.

Goodbye papa its hard to die,
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
now that the spring is in the air,
little children everywhere,
when you see them I'll be there....

Michael hugged himself tightly as though he was hugging someone he loved and missed in a grip which would never let them go far.

Then the music swelled.

....goodbye Michelle, my little one.
you gave me love and helped me find the sun,
and every time that I was down
you would always come around
and get my feet back on the ground.

Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky
now that the spring is in the air
with the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there.

we had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
but the stars we could reach were just starfish on the beach

we had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
but the stars we could reach.......

As the music faded, so did the weight in Michael's arms. Growing lighter and lighter, the smell accompanying it faded also. Just before there was nothing left to hold either in his arms or his breath, he heard, as faintly as a breeze blowing past his ear.... "love you dada.".... and was gone.

Oblivious to all those around him, Michael turned and walked out the door, tears rolled down his cheeks, but a burden, so long carried, no longer heavy on his heart.

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