The Set Up:

Michael smiled..... a slight upward turn that showed the tiny dimple she had memorized. She chuckled to herself that such a thing would have to be committed to memory at all...rare as it was. She knew exactly what had prompted this most recent occurrence. He reflected her own happiness. Things had been going well as of late....a remarkable feat considering where they were. Section was not at all conducive to a feeling of well being, but in comparison to past experiences the fact remained...She was happy.

She had made a friend...a fellow operative named Elise. She had been transferred to Section 6 weeks ago and a bond had formed between the two women quickly. There were no secrets to be withheld, no lies to be told about a make believe life. They were of the same grain, the same mold....Section's pawns. Both knew there were some things that couldn't be discussed and with this mutual knowledge came a blanket of comfortable ease. Nikita had actually discussed with Elise a subject that until now had remained strangled deep within her soul....Michael. Being new to Section One, Elise really couldn't input advice. She had observed Michael since her arrival and could not fathom, other than looks to die for, what Nikita saw in him. Being an impartial observer had painted a rather unkind picture of the man who currently held Nikita's heart in turmoil. What she saw was a cold, detached, shell of a man who as far as she was concerned was undeserving of her new found friend's attention. There was something there behind his eyes when he looked at her. She couldn't put her finger on it, yet all the same a quick glance from him ran a chill up her spine. She observed how he looked at Nikita, his eyes becoming a softer green, the only change in an otherwise nondescript facial expression. In her short time at Section she had summed up Michael in one word...signed...sealed... and delivered....."Trouble."

She would have to keep her eye on that one for sure.

************

Michael let his smile fade quickly. He loved to see Nikita happy. He had always enjoyed amusing exchanges with Walter and the sibling-like camaraderie she entertained with Birkhoff. He understood her need to form attachments, had long ago experienced the same need. He sighed to himself, all too aware that not only had he lost the need for anyone in his life; he had also lost the ability for someone to want him in theirs. He shook the self-exploration from his mind and switched immediately back to the real reason his smile dimmed rapidly. Elise. He didn't trust her. She had much too quickly ingratiated herself into Nikita's life. She was a seasoned Op with six years of duty under her belt. He checked her record. She was good. Digging a little deeper he found the reason for her transfer. She had killed a fellow operative while on a mission. A careful outline had alluded to the fact that the now deceased operative was a mole and Elise had acted in the line of duty when terminating him. None-the-less, she was transferred as the other members of the team were tense working with her and overall morale was at an all time low. Apparently the operative she had cancelled was well liked and well respected. Despite being cleared of any wrongdoing the team leader had requested she be transferred.

Her quickly formed friendship with Nikita did not sit well with Michael. The whole situation didn't feel right. He didn't believe in intuition, therefore based his uneasiness on the events leading to Elise's transfer.

He caught Nikita's inquisitive stare and immediately eased the tension that must have been emanating in his eyes. He took a moment to briefly chastise his inability to shield emotions from this one aspect of his face; smoothed the small muscles into what Nikita once referred to as his *patented blank stare* and walked away.

***************

Nikita reported to Walter to retrieve her weapons for the upcoming mission. The fact that she presented herself a full hour before scheduled egress was not lost on Walter. He smiled to himself and waited.

"Walter" Nikita began "What's up with this mission?"

"You were at the briefing Sugar" Walter stated, trying to evade further questioning.

Nikita rolled her eyes "since when does briefing ever really give you the full details of a mission? Come on Walter, you know what I'm asking."

"Sugar, this time you'll have to fill me in. What's up? Walter asked.

Nikita sat as his workbench pondering for a moment how to phrase her concerns without sounding a bit paranoid. "Elise has never been assigned to our team before."

"And you're worried that Sections has an alternative mission behind the scenes" Walter stated confidently.

Nikita smiled. He knew her too well.

Walter was well informed of Nikita's bonding with Elise. Often she would sit while Walter tinkered, describing what they did, what they talked about, and how Nikita felt like she had found her first ever best friend. Walter had been happy for her at first....in the beginning....before he sensed that Elise was manipulating Nikita's emotions. When the two women spoke of Michael, Elise no longer remained the sounding board she had once been. Slowly she began voicing small opinions here and there that eventually progressed into full-fledged negativism. Walter had to admit to himself that most of what Elise had to say when counseling her new friend was true. She had allowed all of Nikita's doubts about Michael's character to surface. Nothing she said was blatantly malicious, yet there remained an undercurrent which brought Walter to the conclusion that Elise had her own agenda. For some reason Elise wanted Michael out of Nikita's life....Walter didn't know to what end this particular plan was culminating, but he didn't like it.

And Nikita.....his Sugar was too easily swayed by the facade of friendship Elise was offering. He saw her as reaching out, and Elise, as did Jurgen before, provided the cloak of acceptance she longed for. Walter shook his head, catching himself before mumbling aloud.

"Hey Walter" Nikita said, snapping her fingers "You still with me?"

"Yeah, sure Sugar....you were saying?"

"I'm worried about Elise" Nikita frowned. She sighed deeply and continued. "She's a lot like me...you know?...She doesn't belong here....She's a true member of your 5 Percent club."

Nikita noticed Walter's eyes shifting away from her. "She's been an operative for a long time Nikita, I'm sure she can handle herself"

Nikita leaned in closer to Walter...."Michael's team leader" she whispered with an ominous tone.

"Meaning what?" Walter asked.

She didn't answer, yet her face said it all.....and Walter's interpretation was that in Nikita's eyes Michael had transformed into a monster of some sort. He closed his eyes briefly to block out the harsh expression on his Sugar's face. "Michael does what must be done." With that said he brought the conversation to an end swiftly..."I gotta get moving with the inventory...I'll catch you later ok?"

************

The Trigger:

The mission had unfolded with the usual tactical precision. An abandoned warehouse was to be infiltrated for the sole purpose of obtaining a disk containing a list of buyers in contention for a nuclear trigger. The trigger itself had already been secured, but the potential buyers had remained elusive. Once again Section would be playing ball with people whom Nikita considered to be the slime of the earth; the proverbial bigger picture allowing these tenuous alliances.

Nikita heard all team members call to Michael that their respective points had been established. She, Michael, and Elise would be going in; Elise downloading the information while Michael and Nikita secured the area.

The building was not very well covered and their entrance had been relatively easy. They had been met with a few guards keeping watch, spread thinly and easily overcome. They now had entered the main server room, a dark and must smelling room that hummed with the drone of the six computers stacked one upon the other. The bodies of four men littered the floor in various sections of the room, caught by surprise at the silent entrance of the trio, Elise steeped over one of the bodies to being her task while Michael and Nikita stood at careful attention, eyes constantly scanning for unexpected visitors. Nikita occasionally glanced at Michael trying to gauge that what was briefed and what was now occurring was all that there would be. He met her gaze with an admirable mask of nonchalance and she couldn't stop herself from giving back a look of disgust in response.

Elise rose from the computer monitor having secured the disk and Nikita visibly relaxed muscles that had been twisted into knots of tension. For once her almost premonitory feeling that something horrible would happen had not come to fruition....a calming thought that unfortunately was a bit premature.

She heard the click of the first pull of the trigger before she saw Michael's hand raise the weapon in Elise's direction.

"Michael?" Nikita whispered.

He looked in her direction, seeing shock behind the pleading in her eyes. He turned back to Elise..."Abort the transmission."

Elise didn't move "What transmission?"

Michael didn't answer, his gun held unwavering....face expressionless.

"Nikita" Elise pleaded "I'm afraid.....talk to him please...I don't know what he's talking about"

Nikita looked back and forth between the two, confusion clearly written on her face. "Michael...what are you doing?"

No response. He kept his eyes on Elise who stood there frozen, tears cascading down her cheeks. "Here's the disk Michael....just like mission profile" her hand coming up with the offered possession.

"DO IT NOW" Michael ordered.

Nikita felt as if she were removed from the situation. She watched in horror as Michael's finger squeezed the trigger and as if her hand had a mind of its own her weapon raised and fired....a simultaneous explosion as both emitted their discharge. She watched the next few moments in time unfold in slow motion.

Michael flew back on impact, landing hard against the wall. He pulled himself up to a seated position, the struggle to get there all too evident. His hand pressed to his lower abdomen, targeting the area of pain, then lifted. He looked at the blood stained appendage as if it were a foreign entity. His gaze lifted to Nikita and what she saw there.....Shock .... Hurt……. …Betrayal…..was quickly extinguished as heavy lids closed off their tale. Slowly his body realized the state of unconsciousness and gave in to lack of control and she watched in horror as he crumbled to the floor.

Nikita emerged from the stupor abruptly.....taking a few steps toward Michael....

"Don't bother Nikita" Elise's voice, sounding unusually curt stopped her mid-motion. She turned toward the voice and was unable to stop the gasp emitted as she stared at the weapon aimed at her.

"Thank you" Elise drawled "You saved me the trouble of rendering Michael....lets say...inactive." This said with a sarcastic glance in the fallen man's direction.

Keeping her weapon aimed at Nikita she glanced toward the computer to check the progress of her transmission, anger surfacing at the site of the destroyed equipment, Michael's aim remaining on target despite Nikita's interruption. Nikita's gaze followed Elise's and the realization that Michael was aiming at the machinery...not Elise.... stabbed at her like a knife.

"Well, no problem...I still have the disk" Elise turned back toward Nikita...."What a shame...you know I really am sorry Nikita....but as the saying goes, all's fair in love and war."

Nikita closed her eyes waiting for the impact.....It never came.

She heard the explosion, jumping at the sound, and opening her eyes stood transfixed as she gazed at Elise, a pool of blood rapidly forming around her, the stare of death fixed on nothing. Michael's voice, hoarse and weak, brought her up from her dazed state and she rushed to kneel beside him, his arm falling back to the floor, the weight of the weapon too much to bear. "Nikita"......

"Shhh Michael, don't talk" Nikita interrupted. Michael shook his head weakly....."Listen.....Please.....Elise shot me....do you understand?"

She didn't answer....couldn't actually....

"Nikita please" Michael whispered.

"Ok Michael." She soothed.

Nikita looked down at the man, her once again savior, and gently caressed his sweat glistening cheek. She could not find the words to express all of the emotions bursting forth simultaneously. Green eyes stared back; reading all that she could not verbalize and before succumbing to unconsciousness he spoke words intended to comfort...but which served to break her heart.

"It's ok Nikita.......I understand." *************

Although Nikita had visited Michael several times during his 5-day stay in Med Lab, she had not had the opportunity to talk to him about what had transpired. The first two days he had lapsed in and out of consciousness, his awake time severely limited. As the healing process began he was debriefed by Madeline, visited by Walter and Birkoff, and consistently probed and prodded by the medical staff. When he was released earlier than would have been appropriate it was not without a sense of relief from the Medical staff. Michael never verbalized his ire with their constant attention, but the look in his eyes as they performed their tasks had brought them to the point of drawing straws, the loser performing the next dressing change. It was of the general opinion that the supervising physician had released him solely on the basis of the continued emotional health of his staff.

Nikita was not at all surprised when she arrived at Med Lab and found Michael had been discharged. She turned and headed for his office.....the walk there a slow and tentative one. She had been agonizing over what she would say to him.......What could she say? She didn't know. She had gone over it all a million times and what it boiled down to was she had been taken in once again, had let her heart rule her head. The only difference this time was that the hurt of betrayal she had felt was quickly extinguished, replaced by the fact that her own actions had most probably caused a hurt of a greater magnitude. Michael had said he understood......and she believed he truly did. She had always been there for the innocent.....the guardian angle for those unfortunate enough to get in Section's way. Elise had offered friendship.....she took it. She offered the image of innocence.....she embraced it. She slowly unraveled the cloak that hid Michael's dark side......she believed. When Michael confronted Elise all rational thought had fled.......what she saw was the battle of good verses evil and she once again had stood tall for the good. Or so she thought.

Michael would forgive her........She would never forgive herself. The words *you only hurt the ones you love* drifted through her thoughts. Tears pooled instantly for it was true......she really did love Michael. Despite the numerous lies and manipulations, the anger and the hate, there was still love. Michael once said he didn't know what love was anymore......she never knew at all. She wondered how she could tell herself she loved the man directly on the heels of nearly killing him to save another. She told herself that she had intended to just stop him, that his vest would protect him......but it was a lie. She hadn't thought at all. She had literally broken at that moment in time....blinded by the intense need to spare Elise the tragedy of Section's wrath.....she never saw Michael.....She saw Section in all its evil glory.

She arrived at Michael's closed office door, rapping lightly on the steel frame....part of her hoping that he wouldn't hear her. She felt the blood rush to her head when she heard his voice....

"Yes?"

She opened the door and walked in slowly. Her eyes darted briefly over at the desk, where she knew he sat, and then quickly sank to the floor. She hesitantly looked back up and was caught in his gaze.

"How are you feeling?" She had to clear her throat to get out these few words.

"I'm Ok" He whispered back, a soft reassuring smile curving his lips.

"Michael........I...

"Nikita.....everything's fine.....really......I understand" He interrupted.

"But I don't Michael.....I don't understand myself and even more I don't understand you." She began to cry, didn't bother trying to suppress the tears. "I don't want your understanding.....I want you to tell me how you really feel." She slammed her hands down on the desk, her sobs choking the words. "Show me your anger.....show me the hurt"........ She paused here trying to gain control ..... "I deserve to feel the pain Michael...please."

He rose from the chair, stepping around the desk to be at her side. Gently he let his knuckles glide over her soft cheek..... "You feel enough pain Nikita...... Let it go."

She smiled slightly through the tears.... there was nothing left to say. Michael was right.... She had been punishing herself enough for both of them. She brought her hand up to gently rub his, still holding her face in a light caress. She turned to leave and upon opening the door turned back for one more look of reassurance. Michael stood there watching and gave her exactly what she was looking for......a small smile that wrapped her soul in forgiveness.

"Thank you Michael" Was all that was left to say and with that she walked away feeling as if her heart had been absolved of a burden she never could have borne.

************

Michael entered his apartment with a slow careful step; his usually confident stride replaced by a protective gait necessitated by the constant pulling of the unhealed wound. Madeline had visited him in his office minutes after Nikita left, telling him with no particular tone in her voice that he would go home and remain there until called..... No threats of a return to Med Lab necessary as both knew that was a given. He was mildly surprised at his body's inability to bounce back as quickly as he was used to and altogether frustrated at the simple task of removing his jacket. *I must be getting old* he thought with a sigh of disgust. The fact that he had put his body through much more at a relatively young age than most people would in a lifetime escaped him. He wanted nothing more right now than a nice hot shower and the chance to catch up on some much-needed rest.

Struggling with the stairs to the lofted bedroom he paused many times to catch his breath. Upon entering the bedroom he sat carefully on the bed trying to remove his shoes without bending, a feat which proved totally unsuccessful. Bending inches at a time to allow a reprieve from the pain, he finally succeeded. He continued the agonizingly slow process of disrobing and finally nude headed for the shower. Remembering seconds before entering the inviting stream of hot water he removed the bandages, giving the wound no more than a quick glance yet measuring the fact that had the hit been merely an inch higher he would have been spared the whole ordeal.

He climbed into the shower, overcome suddenly with a lightheaded sensation. He leaned back quickly against the tiled wall and let himself slide slowly to a seated position, deep even breaths succeeding in clearing his head. He was content to just sit there and let the water stream over him......... that was until his mind traveled a path he did not want to travel. His own thoughts betrayed him, forcing him to re-live the events of the recent past.........

He understood Nikita's actions.......and looking at it from her perspective she had acted in the only way possible. Operations had on several occasions stressed to him the importance of crushing the one part of Nikita that kept her from being the efficient operative......her compassion. He had not succeeded in this task......actually part of him admired the fact that she held on to it despite being in Section, and it was this part of her that he loved the most.

Shaking himself from his preoccupation he pulled himself up and left the shower, the task of drying off draining what was left of his already depleted energy. Skin still damp he crawled between the sheets and drifted off to sleep.

*********************

His sleep was restless, the constant shifting of position serving only to resurrect the pain in his side. With each awakening came frustration as the wish to remain in oblivion was not granted. Sighing with resignation he pulled himself up onto a pillow, arranging himself in a semi-erect position against the bed's headboard, giving up the battle for sleep for the less restorative prospect of rest. Briefly he entertained the idea of taking the pain medication, left untouched in his jacket pocket but the effort it would take to rise and retrieve them negated the thought. There he sat in the darkness open to the introspection he had held at bay.......

*Not even Nikita*....... Somewhere deep within he had cherished the thought that Nikita cared for him. It was a feeling he would never consciously admit to......but it was there just the same. They had been through a lot, separately and together, and both had managed to survive. Their methods were different, Nikita reached, out to those she considered friends for help with picking up the pieces.........He left the pieces where they lay and moved on. During the years after Simone's death there was nothing to keep him going. Self-worth had been lost, he cared for no one, not even himself and no one cared for him. He was ok with that, for the man he once was had died long ago.

He had changed.....not outwardly for anyone to see, yet part of his soul had returned. He had begun to feel.......to want....to need, but having been detached from himself for so long had left him unable to cope with these feelings. He still separated himself from the emotions he wasn't ready to deal with yet the fact that they were there could not be denied. Part of himself had been resurrected when he began to care about others around him......brought from the depths even more when he chanced the thought that he was cared for in return. In one fell swoop all had been taken away.......and he now knew that he was wrong. *No one cared......Not even Nikita*

A slight sarcastic hiss of breath escaped his lips and he shook his head with the realization that he had been delusional. How could anyone care for him? They saw him as a man with no soul and he let them believe.

Once again his thoughts went back to the abandoned warehouse.......when the one person he thought for sure cared had been the same person who had been willing to sacrifice his life for another. This time he let the memories come and they flooded him with incapacitating intensity. He reached for the other pillow laying on the bed and hugging it to his chest he let the tears flow. He cried for the man he once was and the man he was trying to become......and as the remnants of their struggle for identity ebbed away he once again embraced the darkness.

**************

Deep within the ghostly gloom, Locked inside the lonely room, There he lies and tries to sleep, Devils rise up from the deep EAB

It Begins……

He woke.........not with the slow stirrings of one from a deep slumber.....but with the abrupt jolt of one grasped from the clutches of a nightmare. He sat disoriented at first, looking with startled eyes about the room. The usual remnants of relived terrors were not there, the prolonged flashes of his nightmares not following him up from the darkness. He had grown accustomed to waking in this manner after one of his typical nightmares, but there were none.......none that he could remember. He sighed with a measure of thankfulness that his conscious mind had spared him the horror of his dreams.

Realizing he had slept while sitting semi-upright, he moved to lay back down......forgetting the still painful wound until it reminded him. Taking more care to move accordingly he finally lay back down ready to initiate sleep but finding it wouldn't come. Abruptly a strong sense of unease encompassed him, the hairs on the back of his neck standing electrified in response. There was suddenly something vaguely familiar associated with the strange sensation but he couldn't make the connection. The slight haze of a mind befuddled by sleep was quickly replaced by the alert finely tuned one of a Section operative. Raising his head off the pillow he searched the darkened room carefully.......connecting each misshapen shadow with the reality of its counterpart. Telling himself all was as it should be did not alleviate the disturbed sensation.

He had forgotten............

*Did he?*

In one startling moment memories threatened to emerge.........pulse quickening, causing the blood to pound in his ears. Before his mind had the chance to catch up to his body's response the terrors of the past engulfed him……

The struggle for denial was for naught….

It came again……and with a frightening certainty all mixed up with dread he groaned…..

He told himself he was prepared, that he had past experience to help him cope………He was wrong.

Trembling as much from the plummeting temperature of the room as from fright, he closed his eyes in an effort to gain some control………failing miserably as he was descended upon ……

His ears were accosted by the evil wail that was the voice of the entity, reverberating with increasing intensity, signaling its nearness. The sound shattered the night. The atmosphere grew heavy with the acrid odor of death and decay and it was with great effort that he fought down the bile that had traveled to his throat. His senses were confronted simultaneously; the vehemence of the sound, the cold, and the odor taking over what was left of his conscious mind. He knew nothing else at the moment……nothing but the fact that he was about to enter once again into a living nightmare and that there was nothing he could do to protect himself. Squeezing his eyes closed tighter his face contorted with the horror of what was to come.

There was no gentle caress to deceive him…nothing given in warning of the brutality of its strike…

Strong hands clutched unceremoniously at his already battered body, lifting him above the sanctity of the bed…the one thing that had remained tangible falling away from his frantically grasping fingers. He felt himself hovering briefly only to be flung across the room, arms coming across his face to offer what little protection he could. With tremendous force he slammed into the wall, the threat of unconsciousness promising respite yet remaining elusive. Jagged breath forced from his lungs on impact and it was with great difficulty that he managed to suck in the much needed air. He was vaguely aware of a voice softly chanting *not again*....*please not again* and was horrified at the realization that it was his own. Clenching his jaws against the scream he would never set free, he lay crumbled in the shadow filled corner of the room and waited for whatever would come next.

A moan slipped from between tightly held lips and the thought flashed through his mind: *I've got to wake up!* He felt dizzy, the spin of the room adding to the already nauseated feeling. His vision blurred as his ears filled with the roaring of his frenzied heartbeat and try as he might to deny it, he knew he was already awake.

And then it was gone…..

The sudden silence of the room was somehow more deafening than the horrible sound it had replaced. His mind fought with the cognizance that his nemesis had left as suddenly as its arrival…the prospect of deception hanging over him like a shroud. He looked around the room with skeptical eyes, knowing there was nothing to be seen yet feeling the need to use all of his senses to confirm he was once again alone.

There was no relief in the knowledge that all was once again back to normal. He knew it would be back eventually……this time even knew why.

They were one in the same……he and this messenger of the darkness… compatriots of evil. He would have no weapon to fight it this time…no light to battle the dark.

He felt blood ooze from the re-opened wound and thought briefly about calling Section for their assistance. On the edge of succumbing to the blackness that danced before him he decided a call would not be necessary.

**********

Nikita wandered the halls of Section. She wasn't called in as there was no mission currently in the works. She had been home for two days in the company of her own thoughts and having pummeled herself ruthlessly the entire time she felt the need for escape. She hadn't thought it at all odd that she had fled to Section One for solace. Here is where her only real friends were, where there was a sense of family no matter how dysfunctional it may be.

She had hoped to find Michael in his office regardless of the fact that Section had sanctioned five days at home for recuperation. More often than not Michael denied himself full fledged recovery and presented for some form of duty sooner than was necessary. It was with this knowledge that she arrived at his office. Finding the darkened room empty had caused her to feel disappointment that she would not have the opportunity to feed off of his reassurance. This caused additional guilt as she realized that she was once again putting her own emotional needs above his. Michael never showed his emotions but she knew they were there……and she could only begin to imagine where his thoughts were now on the heels of her betrayal. She had left his office two days ago with his forgiveness and reassurance that he understood what she had done. Initially she was somewhat satisfied that they would be able to put this behind them and try to rebuild the tenuous friendship first and then eventually work on building a relationship. This line of thinking eroded after spending some time with herself and rather than being retrospective about her own thoughts and feelings she for the first time stopped to consider Michael's.

She told herself that she didn't really know him at all and found that she had fallen too quickly into her original pattern of thought……that he tended toward deceit and was himself the master of betrayal. *Elise's doing* was where she wanted to place the blame but in being brutally honest she realized that these thoughts were her own and Elise merely provided the springboard for their surfacing. Michael was not an easy person to like, especially where it was apparent that he had no need to bond with anyone. Too often she had been at the receiving end of his almost devastating aloofness and with each concurrent blow she felt her love for him begin to fade, only to rebuild when he let part of what was really inside surface. His cold demeanor was a protective mechanism, and she had witnessed on several occasions that deep down inside he did indeed have a heart. She had seen it when he couldn't bear the burden of guilt in betraying his friend René, saw tears pooled in his eyes when he told her "you should have let him do it." She still was not sure if he wanted to die that day to end his own pain or if he truly believed his death would be a justification for René and all that he had done. She had seen it with Simone……and her own heart nearly broke for him in realizing that he had to go through what was most likely the most devastating moment of his life…twice.

Her reverie had taken on a two sided conversation and for every instance where Michael had hurt her or angered her, there was a circumstance to countermand the memories. It was rare that Michael would show that there was something beyond the facade of ice he put forth……but when he did it was with devastating effect and she knew that it was for this reason he chose to bury his emotions.

When she brought her thoughts around to the *incident* (as she had come to identify it) she took a moment to put herself in Michael's place and try to feel what he feels and it was then that she began to sob…for she couldn't do it…..couldn't begin to imagine what, if anything he felt. Had he managed to split himself in two so successfully that something of this magnitude would not affect him? Was his heart so deeply buried that in truth his facade had become more than just a mask? She worried that Michael had thought for too long that he had no soul and that now this was becoming a reality.

Had she not become so wrapped up in her own need for forgiveness she would have been able to see what he was really feeling in his eyes. Often she would catch a glimpse of his true emotions in their green depths…..actually had caught it briefly immediately after she shot him. She cringed outwardly in remembering the flashes of shock and betrayal he had been unable to hide from his gaze and wondered if had he not succumbed briefly to unconsciousness if he would have been able to turn these emotions off as quickly and effectively as he was used to.

When they had talked briefly in his office she was so caught up in her own feelings she had not taken the time to really look beyond his calm facial features to see how he really was, and whether he was hiding from her and himself what he really felt. It was with these closing thoughts that she had headed to Section…..to seek out Michael and assure herself that she had not added the final straw that would break his already fragile psyche.

She left his empty office with all of her good intentions prematurely deflated. She now knew where Michael lived yet felt that it was too soon to intrude upon his recovery time. She would wait for him to come back. In the meantime she headed toward Walter's work area, content to just go and have him take her mind off of things. She would prefer that she could go to him with her concerns for Michael and for some rebuilding of her self-esteem but unfortunately the events of that day would have to remain hidden. Michael had protected her once again and she would not do anything to risk him being handed down the repercussions of her actions.

As she entered Walter's domain her only thoughts were that she hoped Michael would come back soon.

***********

The shadows of night dissipated slowly, being replaced by the golden hue of the sun's early rising. A crisp fall breeze sifted through the partially opened window causing the rustle of blinds. The sound brought him up from unconsciousness and he struggled to fight off his awakening mind. Bleary eyes fluttered open only to close again with overpowering fatigue. Feeling what was left of his strength waning he mustered up all that was left in him to rise from the floor. Bracing himself for the pain he knew would come he began the slow journey, only to find that there was no pain…only the vague sensation of numbness. Curiosity more than concern caused him to glance at the wound and with acceptance he noted the dried pool of blood on the floor and the stark white skin surrounding the now coagulated opening in his side. He didn't have to see to know that he had lost a lot of blood, could feel the heaviness in his limbs and the light headed sensation. It took tremendous effort to pull himself upright and then leaning heavily against the wall for support he felt the pull of darkness beckoning…..he slid down the wall and let himself flow back into the welcoming arms of its black promise.

******************************

She was worried. Again she had arrived at Section of her own accord and found that Michael still had not presented himself. If it were anyone else this would not concern her…..but this was Michael. Her concern was initially one for his physical being, knowing full well that only serious difficulties would deter him. His amazing capability to push himself beyond physical limitations had always astounded her. It was his emotional health that worried her now. She couldn't take not knowing any longer. With an air of determination she left Section bound for Michael's apartment. She needed to talk to him now more than ever, even more so though she wanted him to talk to her.

*******************************

Upon arriving at Michael's apartment some of the determination had quelled, making room for apprehension. She didn't know how receptive he would be to her visiting or how open he would be to having a real discussion. The possibility that she would be faced with his mask of indifference was a strong one. She promised herself that if this was the Michael he offered her she would accept it…for now. He needed to release what was beneath the surface at his own pace, in his own way. For once she would be patient.

She was so caught up in her preparatory thoughts that she was a bit surprised to find herself standing in front of his apartment door. Garnering the courage to continue on with her mission a shaky hand rose to announce her arrival and she almost chuckled to herself at how light the tap on the door really was. Still, she waited to see if he would answer knowing how finely tuned the senses of a Section operative were. After waiting for awhile with no response she knocked again, this time with a bit more force and stepped back with full expectation of the door's opening. Again there was no response. Placing her ear against the door to listen for any signs of movement proved fruitless. She stood with indecision, not sure if she should just walk away and leave him alone or if she should enter to make sure that everything was OK. Invariably the former could be what Michael wanted. He could be resting and her visit would be an intrusion in which case nothing would be gained. On the other hand she was uncomfortable with his not answering……

She went to work on his lock then felt along the edges of the door crease for any wires that would signal an alarm. It had taken her a bit longer than it would have had it been any average apartment door with your average tenant but nonetheless she had gained entry. She entered cautiously with a stance of defense as she had arrived unannounced and Michael was quick to react to such an intrusion…and she did not want to be the recipient of his reaction. The apartment was alarmingly silent and as she walked through the rooms she called out his name, her own voice sounding strange in its nervousness. Continuing on through the hall to check the rooms on the lower level she had calmed herself with the belief that he was probably sleeping and that her uneasiness was unwarranted. Heading up the stairs she was calmer still, convinced now that she would find Michael fast asleep…… What she found was far from what she was expecting.

Entering the bedroom she had glanced at the bed and finding it empty had headed to the far corner to check the bathroom and finding that too unoccupied turned to check the other rooms ……it was then that she saw him. She went to him slowly unable to get past the fear that he was dead. His perfectly still form lay huddled on the floor, pale skin marred only by the blood smeared over his naked chest. His once white shorts were covered as well leading to streaks on the otherwise perfect thighs. His hair fanned over his face blocking his features. She said his name softly hoping with all of her being that he would somehow answer…he didn't. Kneeling beside him she reached beneath his jaw praying she would find evidence that he was still alive and nearly broke down with relief upon feeling the weak and thready pulse. She turned his head, brushing the hair from his face and called his name again knowing full well he couldn't respond. Reluctantly she left him to call for help, trying her best not to sound hysterical when notifying Section, her eyes never leaving him for fear he would be lost without some connection. She dropped the phone uncaring of where it landed, grabbed at the comforter on the bed and went back by his side, sitting this time to pull his limp form into her arms. He was cold… so cold. Wrapping him in the comforter with tender care she pulled him in tighter to lend him her warmth……and she prayed………

She prayed with all of her might that he would make it……begged him not to leave her…but the words that continued to flow in a continuous heart wrenching chant were…… "I'm sorry."

**********

"Hey Sugar……." Walter shook Nikita gently. He had stopped by to check on Michael…..not expecting that anything had changed yet compelled to make sure that he was holding his own. He found Nikita there as always. She had fallen asleep with her head on Michael's bed, still holding his hand in hers.

Initially it had been touch and go and they had come very close to losing the young man. When he was first brought in the Med team went to work in a flurry of activity, trying first just to stabilize him enough to entertain the prospect of surgery necessary to close the wound. It took more than 24 hours of constant monitoring and several blood transfusions before the operation could be considered, and even then his condition was not optimal. While the surgery was carried out everyone was on edge waiting for word of his condition.....even Operations and Madeline he thought smugly *but God forbid they show it* It had been three days since he was wheeled out of the O.R. and still he had not gained consciousness. Once again it was the waiting that was draining everyone. Especially Nikita.

Had it not been for Walter's gentle urging Nikita would not have left Michael's side. He had to literally force her out to grab a bite to eat, reminding her that she would be of no use to Michael if she did not keep her strength up. Finding her now, sleeping peacefully, he hated to wake her but thought it would be best if he could get her to leave and get some real sleep in her quarters.

She woke groggily at first and then before she could let the sudden fear grip her Walter calmed her immediately...."Shhhh, it's ok Sugar"

Looking immediately at Michael's sleeping form for reassurance she turned back to Walter..... "Any change?"

"I just got here.....I'm sure they would let us know. Take a break Sugar....grab a bite to eat and then get some rest." He saw that she was ready to refuse and shaking his head continued..... "I'll stay with him."

She looked back down at Michael before relinquishing to Walter's suggestion. Turning to leave she was halted by Walter's hand on her arm.... "Hold on a minute." She looked at him confused by his first wanting her to leave and then asking her to stay. Walter smiled then nodded toward the bed.

Her heart leapt with joy at seeing for the first time in days the beautiful green eyes. She lifted his hand into hers, bringing it to her face......wanting more than anything to fling herself into his arms yet restraining herself knowing she would cause him harm. She smiled brightly, the tears of delight brimming her lower lashes. Glancing briefly at Walter she saw that he too was bursting with happiness.

She leaned in closer, still cupping his hand within her own........"Welcome back."

Slowly her smile faded.

Michael stared straight ahead giving no acknowledgement of her presence. It was then that she looked......really looked at his eyes......and what she saw there sent a chill through her spine. She saw nothing. The emerald eyes that usually glimmered.......that truly were the window to his soul were dull and lifeless. There was something beyond the fact that he had medication flowing through him....something more than his recent ascent from oblivion. Her mind raced with trying to understand what she was seeing. She had grown accustomed to his usual blank stare, had even learned to read beyond it. She had seen and absorbed various emotions swimming beneath the exterior...had seen hurt and pain, defiance, and hatred. Nothing remained beyond the steel gray stare but the remnants of a flame extinguished.

Then she felt it. A weak tug of his hand, trying to be set free from her grasp.

"Michael?"

He didn't answer.

Glancing at Walter she forced a weak smile and then gently placed the hand that wanted nothing more than to be free from hers back down on the bed. Unable to stop herself she let her gaze travel once more to Michael's eyes. This time he spared her the agony of their vacant discharge and let his lids slide closed.

*********

Walking through Section en route to Med Lab Nikita noticed several things that led her to the conclusion that something was definitely going on……something she most assuredly was not going to like. Operations and Madeline stood together in the glass office looking down stoically at the activity below. Birkoff sat fixed at his terminal, fingers tapping furiously at the keyboard as if too busy to be interrupted. His body language and subtle habit of rubbing his head told her more than he would have wished. He knew something, and was trying his best to duck from her impending interrogation. She couldn't help but smirk as she made her way over to him……he was so easy to get around. Leaning in closer than was necessary to add to the intimidation process she nearly caused the poor guy to fall out of his chair… "Hey Birkoff…..what's going on?"

He looked up at her, eyes wide and swallowing hard replied… "Nothing…..I'm really busy…catch you later OK?" With that he turned his attention to the monitor and continued working. Not one to be deterred she made her way to his other side, letting her hand slide across his shoulders…… "Birkoff" She said his name with a hint of threat.

His eyes shifted up to land briefly on the two people he feared the most. There was no secret this time…..nothing he would say that would bring their ire. For once it wasn't them he feared. It was the simple fact that he would inadvertently cause Nikita more pain…something he would avoid if at all possible.

"OK Birkoff, you win…but when I get back we will have to continue this conversation."

"Ummm…Nikita." He stopped her retreat.

She turned back, half expecting him to change his mind and fill her in.

"Where you headed?"

"I'm going to check on Michael……why?"

His eyes fell to the floor as if he were unable to meet her gaze and her senses heightened with the knowledge that whatever it was Birkoff was hiding…..it had something to do with Michael.

She need not say anything…her look said it all.

And Birkoff was very familiar with the look…the one that said *spill your guts boy or I'm going to beat it out of you* He didn't need additional persuasion…… "Nikita…there are no visitors allowed."

Nikita's chin dropped. She couldn't believe that they would isolate Michael at a time when he would need the companionship of those around him. She couldn't imagine what would make them arrive at this decision but she knew that she needed to do something quickly. She remembered the vacancy in his eyes and the silent withdrawal and knew that lack of contact would do him more harm than anything else. She needed to be with him and help him work through what he was feeling, as well as deal with her own insecurities. Her plan to make things right had unraveled in one fell swoop and she was determined to fight this latest development with everything she had left in her.

Birkoff was privy to all of Nikita's reactions but it was the anger that made him catch his breath. She turned quickly away from him and when he saw the direction in which she was heading he called out to stop her….surprising himself with the volume in which he spoke her name.

She turned back in answer to his calling her name and couldn't mask the rage in her own voice…. "What"

"Where are you going?" he asked timidly.

"I'm going to talk to Madeline."

"Why?"

"To find out what her twisted little game is this time."

"Nikita……It wasn't Madeline's decision."

"Operations then" She accused.

Birkoff shook his head. He was about to say the words that he knew would take the wind out of her sails……

He took a deep breath … "It was Michael."

Her reaction what not at all what he had expected. The anger was gone, replaced by what he saw to be defeat. She sighed deeply, letting a shaky smile force its way through tightly held lips…. "I see."

He didn't know what else to say. Opening his mouth in an attempt to speak some words of comfort yet finding nothing would come out, he closed it again and watched her walk away. She was heading toward Walter's work area and he had never been so thankful that the old man was there.

******************************

He knew she would come. This time he almost dreaded her visit. There was nothing to say to offer her solace. He was at a loss……

He remembered back years ago when Simone had died. Michael had shut down, becoming the shell of a man Nikita had met when she first arrived. He watched the subtle changes in the young man and knew the part of him that had died that fateful day was beginning to mend. He credited Michael's salvation to Nikita. She had provided something no one else in Section could……she gave him back a piece of his soul.

What he had seen in Med Lab the previous day was profoundly disheartening. After watching the young man struggle for years to restore the very base of his inner being it was not without pity that he had viewed what appeared to be utter defeat. There was only one way to describe what he saw in his eyes……death. The Michael he knew no longer existed.

Seeing Nikita's approach brought to mind what he had told her long ago…..that she was the one who brought Michael out from his self-imposed exile. He wondered….*what would he say to her now?*

"You heard?" Nikita questioned. She knew Walter would know to what she was referring.

"Yeah."

She sat on the stool by the workbench, fiddling with whatever pieces of gadgetry were within her reach. She felt the need to really think about what she would say. She needed Walter now and pondered how she could truly expect his help without knowing the full details of the situation. Whether or not he could actually help was a moot point; just being able to talk with him was enough.

"You can't take it personally Sugar…he doesn't want to see anyone right now."

"You saw him Walter. I can't let him go through this alone. Someone has to be there for him. If he isolates himself I'm afraid he won't be able to come back."

Walter nodded in agreement. "Nikita…… what happened?"

She was a bit startled at the seriousness of his tone, even more markedly so when hearing her name rather than his pet moniker. She knew what he was asking. Walter was not often very verbal but he was definitely perceptive. When they had brought the wounded Michael in from the mission she could sense that Walter suspected her of withholding information. He wouldn't ask then, but after seeing Michael upon his return to Med Lab she was prepared for him to ask now.

And she would tell him.

Her words did not come easy……the story to be told one that brought back the horror of the past to the teller and one of complete devastation to the listener. She sobbed as she spoke, remembering the look on Michael's face as he lifted his blood covered hand from the wound and then his gaze at her, erupting with emotions he was too shocked to hide. The intensity of the hurt she had seen there was overwhelming. Now, looking at Walter's face as she unloaded the burden of silence, she saw bright blue eyes dim with sorrow.

When she was finished they sat in silence. It wasn't until Walter drew her within his arms in a hug as much for himself as for her that she broke down and cried.

"We wont lose him Sugar" Walter whispered.

Tears pooled in his eyes in saying this……for his mind contradicted him with the thought that Michael was already lost.

**********

Too late he would the pain assuage, And to thick shadows does retire; About with him he bears the rage, And in his tainted blood the fire Edmund Waller

One week later*****

Walking slowly he made his way through the quiet halls of Section. The drain of fatigue still weighed heavily and each step served to further deplete what little energy he had. He was aware of the many eyes following his path…..he didn't care.

He needed to work. Throughout his stay in Med Lab he had been visited by Madeline frequently. He answered her many questions with the precise shortened responses she had come to expect…..the lies easier to tell. Whether she believed him or not didn't concern him, save for the one that protected Nikita. He had wiped clean the slate of his emotions; erecting the formidable shields for self- preservation. He didn't care whether he lived or died, just didn't want to feel anymore pain. He still cared about the others…..always would. Whether he was cared for in return no longer mattered.

He entered his office unbuttoning his jacket, ready to catch up on all that he missed while incapacitated. Sitting slowly with a gush of forced air at the pain such a routine gesture had caused, he turned on his monitor. Rather than go directly to work, he sat with closed eyes admitting begrudgingly to himself that he really should go home. Just the thought sent a shudder up his spine.

He really had forgotten, actually was amazed at the mind's ability to push down unwanted memories. Now it seemed like yesterday.....

Nikita had been the one to pull him up from the darkness then, had been the one to offer the flame that served to ignite the small part of him that was not lost. It was a battle he had to fight on his own....but she had unknowingly shown him the way. He knew then, as he did now, that there never was an outside presence. The evil that visited him nightly for that period of time was in essence his own dark half. It had gotten the better of him and he had allowed it. He fought with tenacity, believing there really was a part of him that was worthy of saving.....and he won. Letting loose an audible hiss of disgust, he shook his head, angry at himself for allowing this fallacy. He had watched Nikita over the years, always amazed at her deep sense of humanity and never ending compassion. Although ordered to somehow squelch these admirable qualities, he couldn't do it, as much for her sake as for his own. The journey up from his self-imposed emotional prison had been a long and hard one and even though the crack in his armor was a small one, it was still something he was not willing to abandon. It was with a bit of selfishness that he refused to dampen Nikita's essence. He needed it.

So practiced was he at deception, he had managed to deceive himself. How he could have thought her compassion would extend to him...the one who consistently put forth only pain and hurt....amazed him now. She most certainly had shown there was nothing worth redeeming in him....and he just as certainly confirmed it. No......the blame did not lie with Nikita. In looking back at it now he had to admit she had chosen well.

Now he was more alone than he had ever been before, and he was not at all sure he liked the company he kept. He rose slowly, shutting down the monitor. It was time to put the tattered remains of the man who once was Michael away.

*********************

Madeline glanced up with the whoosh of the electronic doors opening, then watched quietly as Michael entered the room. She let her eyes wander over him in an excruciatingly slow manner, concern filtering in through the objective scrutiny. She had been with him during his recuperation in Med Lab almost daily after his request that visitors be denied. Always the Psych Op, she had been intrigued by Michael's self-containment. As soon as he was capable of answering her questions she began with the usual debriefing. He lied. Right from the start she sensed that there was much more than what Michael was telling her. When asked how he had re-injured himself he answered quickly with a vague response......that he had blacked-out and in the fall must have re-opened the wound. Though she had to admit this was feasible, it was most likely not probable. Constantly analyzing, she went beyond the issue at hand.....probing for a link that would add to the picture she was forming in her mind.

She hadn't forgotten......actually sat in professional curiosity waiting to see if another episode as had occurred in the past would arise. On numerous occasions she had pulled up the file that held the intricate details of Michael's ordeal. She had treated him as would anyone schooled in the arena of psychology. The sessions were long and grueling, as hard on her as they were on him. Accustomed to winning a battle of the minds, she was somewhat disheartened that this time it had been a tie. Michael was good.....too good. In looking back however, she wasn't at all sure that either really knew what it is they were dealing with. The ECT had seemingly been an effective therapy and Michael had returned to his duties, as effective as he had ever been. Operations was pleased, Nikita content, and all was apparently back to normal. She on the other hand could not let it go. The thing that bothered her the most was Michael's questioning her about the supernatural. She had silently guffawed to herself, the mere thought being totally implausible in her analytical mind. The fact that he, her considered equal in logical thought, had broached the subject had left her bewildered. And then there was Birkoff. Michael's supposed attack on the young man had left him noticeably shaken and she had handled him as smoothly as possible to be sure that his response to her questions would be carefully thought out. He had admitted that he never actually saw Michael touch him. Michael himself, although at that point understandably confused, could not remember actual contact. This small fact had mushroomed into a full blown artifact in her otherwise unblemished report. She watched Michael carefully for months, constantly looking for a sign that he had handled it the only way he knew how......repression. Seeing him in Med Lab had been the catalyst in this renewed quest. She would get to the bottom of this once and for all....and then she would be at peace.

Realizing that she had gone off on this little tangent while Michael stood there waiting had almost caused her to blush.....almost. She continued her perusal of the young man......

"Why are you still in Section?" She asked.

His eyes shifted briefly away as he answered….. "I thought I would work on tactical or mission profiling."

"It is preferred that you go home and rest Michael. You will be at full capacity a lot quicker if you allow yourself to heal."

"I'm fine."

The words he was so used to saying slipped out……an outright lie this time and they both knew it. Madeline's eyebrows arched in response, the only indication that she had caught it.

She surprised him with a rather swift consent "You may assist in profiling."

Michael nodded slightly and turned to leave.

"Michael…….If it appears you are not taking time to allow yourself to heal you will be assigned to your quarters."

Michael showed no reaction….. "Of course."

She watched him leave with a Mona Lisa smile alighting her face. It was of course to her advantage that Michael remain at Section. His eyes, although dull and lifeless, had said enough to put her back on the trail like a hound to a fox. She was concerned….but more than that she was intrigued.

Turning back to her desk, she sat comfortably, crossing her legs in a relaxed fashion. She had a lot of work to do but simply couldn't resist relishing the thought that what was soon to unfold would be of exceptional consequence.

***********

He wished desperately that he could go about his work without having to interact. They actually had made it easy on him, keeping minimal conversation and always with regard to business. It was their eyes……always probing with curiosity, and then recoiling in obvious unease… which served to trouble him. He wondered what it was they saw.

Two days, that's all it had been, yet already it felt like an eternity. He had been working in profiling, wanting nothing more than to be back out in the field. There he was in his element, nothing to think about but the mission, words unnecessary save for the occasional command. He felt trapped. Never one for lengthy sentences, his clipped responses now took on a bite that caused a visible cringe in the recipient.

Two days, and he had managed to successfully avoid those who would not shy away….Walter and Nikita…the people who could possibly see beyond what he chose to show. Even Birkoff, although quiet in his resolve, had managed to go beyond the visible. He was still fragile in his intention and couldn't risk their hammering at his wall of detachment. In his quest for seclusion he had in every sense of the word become a shadow; there should you chose to acknowledge, yet just as easily disregarded.

Now, having successfully slipped away into the sanctity of his office, he sat wearily to finish the data input for the upcoming mission. Bringing up the monitor he paused briefly as a sudden band of pressure made its way across his forehead. He shrugged his shoulders to ease the tension in his muscles. The last thing he needed right now was a headache. Reaching into the drawer to gather a few aspirin in hopes of staving off a full blown migraine, he felt a sudden chill creep up his spine.

There was no fear with the anticipation as it was just another emotion he no longer had use for.

Punching in the code to deactivate surveillance, he sat back in his chair resigned to the inevitable. Closing his eyes he breathed slowly and evenly and waited…….

He felt his whole body go cold, as much in foresight as in reaction to the plummeting temperature of the room. Resisting the urge to fight he gripped firmly on the arms of the chair and gave himself up to the depravity of his comrade…….

As if acknowledging his offer of submission it came with a quiet force; the room filled with its presence yet different somehow. He felt an icy embrace encompass his entire length and had the fleeting thought that it was an extension of brotherhood. The most innate human emotion…. self- protection…threatened to emerge, but he pushed it down with all that he had left. He was ready to go this time…and nothing was going to interfere.

And then he felt it, the light touch of unseen fingers encircling his neck. Squeezing gently at first, a precursor of how it would be, and then growing tighter still. He felt dizzy and his vision blurred as the lack of oxygen began its toll. The roaring suction of his own attempts at breathing echoed in his ears. A sense of euphoria replaced the struggle as his mind entered the obscurity of approaching unconsciousness, and on the brink of release from the world as he knew it came the intrusion……

Grasped from the promise of nothingness, he watched disoriented as the woman approached him. What she wanted from him he didn't know. He felt a slight prick in his neck and then smiled softly as he realized she came to offer him the oblivion he sought.

Madeline watched as he slumped in the chair, then carefully cradled his head to avoid contact with the desk. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out her cell-phone and punching in the number spoke softly…… "Cancel surveillance."

************

Disappointment. When he woke in his chambers that was his first reaction. Separating his dreams from reality was becoming virtually impossible; everything blending together. His mind was fraught with memories of his latest encounter. It was supposed to be over. He remembered vividly his acquiescence…….and then the details blurred. Try as he might to delve further it just wouldn't come to him. Shrugging off the attempt, he rose to face yet another day, curious at the sensation of sluggishness that rolled over him. He knew the feeling well…..had been drugged enough times to be familiar with the after-effects. Teetering on the edge of recollection, he sat trying to let the images come. They wouldn't. Getting up stiffly he put it all behind him and headed for the showers.

***********************

She was waiting for him. He had showered and dressed and was on his way to work in tactical when his path was blocked by Nikita. She stood with arms folded across her chest, a look of fierce determination on her face.

Letting his eyes wander anywhere but on her face, he stood waiting for her to speak.

"I haven't seen you in awhile Michael. How are you feeling?"

He opened his mouth to speak but she interrupted...... "I know...... you're fine....right Michael?"

She flushed at her sarcasm. Her worry had surfaced in the form of anger. The fact that he still showed no response simply compounded the issue. She took a deep breath trying to calm herself to the point that at least part of this encounter would be beneficial. Her jaw dropped slightly at Michael's attempt to step around her......

Grabbing his arm, she winced at his intake of breath. She had forgotten his injury and felt a moment of guilt in reminding him. "What is it Michael?...... What are you running away from?" She searched his eyes for the answer he would not verbalize. Still there was nothing. "Is it me?"

Those three little words were the ones to open the floodgates to Michael's soul.....and she stood there in awe in seeing them released. Just looking in his eyes she had seen a hurt that went through to his core.......one from which it appeared he would never recover. Quickly that piece of him which had surfaced was brought asunder and she stood staring into the lifeless orbs once again. She had to stifle the gasp at the haunted look which remained.

Taking a step back to give distance from the gaze that somehow was terrifying yet begged for condolence , she let go of his arm...... "Go ahead Michael" she nodded in the direction in which he was headed. "Just remember, I'm here if you need me."

She watched him walk away, unable to move until having digested the signals she felt Michael was sending. Successful once again in going beyond his shields she finally saw what it was that lay beneath the barren gaze..... He was desperately searching for something......something no one, not even he could live without.....

He needed to feel loved.

And then she knew what it was that had drawn her to Michael initially and what, despite what her mind tells her, keeps him within her heart. That like a child he cries out for something he can't ask for, longs for what he does not know, yet in the purest of senses desperately needs more than anything. He needed love.

Section denies him this consistently......he denies himself. But, if ever anyone could have made him feel more unworthy of such an emotion it was she.

Pulling herself up from despondency she vowed she would make things right. How she didn't know......but Michael had unknowingly just become her prime directive.

**********************

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes Michael, please have a seat." Madeline smiled.

She waited for the young man to do as she bade and was mildly surprised that he relinquished immediately.

He waited for her to make her thoughts known, felt an increase in his heart rate as she walked toward him. Her hand reached out to the black turtleneck beneath his jacket; his snapping out quickly to stop its intended path. There eyes locked in raw conviction, neither willing to relent.

It was the sudden flash of a woman approaching him, offering him respite into oblivion that made him drop his hand. She knew.

Madeline gently pushed down the rim of the sweater to view the bruising she expected to find. Saying nothing she let a finger softly trace the pattern surrounding his neck then neatly fixed the collar to once again provide cover.

He dreaded what would come next. The relentless probing and excruciating psychiatric sessions.....he couldn't go through that again. Sighing deeply he waited for her to be seated behind her desk and then it would begin.

"That will be all Michael."

His head snapped up at the dismissal, eyes searching desperately to read her motive. True to form Madeline simply smiled.

As he left the office he had the vague sensation that her letting him go was somehow going to be worse than anything she had put him through in the past.

************

Nikita wandered slowly through the darkened halls of Section, seemingly aimlessly yet with a purpose in mind. It was late; the lighting a dim yellow hue causing her distorted shadow to walk before her. Several times during this midnight walk she had ruminated as to what exactly her intentions were. She was seeking Michael. It was not the time for intense conversation *with Michael was there ever a time?* but the desire to see him......make sure he was ok, was particularly strong. In an almost premonitory flash she sensed Michael needed her tonight. Her body tingled with perceived urgency, soundless footfall quickening in response.

Her search led her to his quarters. Listening outside the door for movement from within, she had a bout of deja-vu. Her hesitancy to invade his privacy had nearly cost him his life before.......precious moments of indecision allowing more blood loss. The mere thought of having made a different choice that day made her wince. She entered his domain uncaring of the prospect of intrusion.......they would both get over it.

The slight squeak of the door as it opened reverberated in the stillness of the night. Entering the outer living area she took in the small perimeter with careful scrutiny. Without warning the tingle of fear crawled up her spine. The room was dark, the almost surrealistic glow of a small table lamp the only light. The atmosphere hung dank in eerie silence; the quiet causing a ringing in ears that were on guard. Beset by an unrelenting sense of foreboding she struggled against the urge to flee. As if to assure herself that she was being childish she let her fingers glide over the back of a leather chair, the touch itself bringing back some form of reality. Jumping at the long shadow of herself cast by the lamp she giggled nervously, telling herself she was spooked, *that's all Nikita, get a grip*

Having visually waded through the contents of the room her gaze followed to the bedroom door. Like a child in a nightmare she had the nonsensical thought that beyond the door was a monster……

It was waiting…..

Crouched in the darkness…….

Jagged teeth glinting with horrendous promise…….

Eyes glowing neon green from a face too horrible to describe….

The face….

*God…don't go there*.

She worked her way toward the door, every step causing unfathomable panic, as if somehow whatever lay beyond its metal barrier was more horrible than her graphic imagination. Her heart galloped in response to the cutting apprehension. She began to sweat, wisps of blonde hair clinging to beaded skin. Fear winning out she turned to leave when she heard the sound. She froze in mid-step, hands rising up involuntarily to block the pitch from her ears. The horrific wailing pierced through her entire body. Her legs became liquid, the simple task of standing becoming one that required concentration.

She considered running but couldn't move.

For an instant, a brief agonizing moment, she had the dizzying feeling that she had been transported into a nightmare. Her entire body shook with the aftershocks of the shivering of fright. The shrill continued to pierce the silence; all of her childhood fears bunching together in a ball being tossed her way. Try as she might to acknowledge this was really happening, there was still the reason of the adult attempting to push it all into a logical compartment. This was a dream. She would wake up. There is nothing beyond the door.

The child in her won the fight of recognition. And there beyond the door waiting for her was the monster......

Waiting......

Planning......

The drool of anticipation flowing from grotesque features..........

She grew closer, stunned by her body's denial of her mind's want to run. Closer still....and then with heightening alarm she realized her intentions.

*don't do it*

The demonic wail grew louder

*PLEASE*

Stifling the scream that worked its way up into her throat she did the one thing her mind furiously denied.

She opened the door.

************

Slowly, with trepidation, she inched the door ajar…..Eyes squinting….trying hard to block out what she would see yet struggling to keep them open….desperately needing to correlate all of the horror with something tangible, yet dreading the connection.

In a putrid gust the odor attacked unsuspecting nasal passages, dizzying nausea slithering its way up….aiming for release. She groaned and staggered back, quickly unwrapped the scarf from around her neck, bringing it up to her face in hopes of filtering the scent. Sucking in a deep breath through the cloth she persevered. Rational thought drifted away and with it went the voice of reason……

*The voice that should have warned her to stop there*

*To close the door*

*To run for her life*

The wall of frigid air hit her full force, the combining attack on her senses plunging her into a place her mind couldn't comprehend. She closed her eyes upon entering…..waiting for her cognition to catch up with the chaos of her other senses. Nothing prepared her for what she saw upon opening them.

The room was dark save for the glow of a small lamp in the corner.....Its incessant flickering on and off lending a kaleidoscopic effect, shadows dancing in unison. In the corner stood the bed, rising up from the floor in monument fashion, its presence in the sparsely furnished room making it all the more conspicuous. Despite battered senses and almost paralyzing panic her eyes sought and remained fixed on its occupant.

He sat propped against the headboard, hands twisted in the sheets, muscles rippling with force. His chin rested down on his chest, bobbing with the pronounced rise and fall resulting from the struggle to breathe. Puffs of vapor escaped with every audible gasp. His hair hung down across his face.....Providing cover that ominously told of something lurking beneath.

She couldn't see his face. Visions of the childhood created monster fought with her desire to get closer.

*It's Michael*

*What if it isn't? *

*Help him*

*Help yourself*

She stood entranced, watching as his head lifted......

His eyes glowed eerily luminescent in the darkness. They fixed on her......captured her own gaze in a mesmerizing trap. She saw in them a whirlwind of emotions so strikingly different from one another she grew dizzy. There was pain portrayed as pure torment. Fear seen as intense panic. A plea for help that shone through piteously. Then, the one that remained....... The one she would least expect and wasn't at all prepared for...the anger.

A fierce fury barely contained, distorting features in tight muscular constraint. Rage so intense it reeked of malicious intent.

"GET OUT"

His voice boomed with perilous intonation, it's deep and resonant growl shaking her to the core. It was Michael's voice yet bore a depth of agony that was somehow terrifying yet inspiring concern

Removed from the surrealist stupor she stepped forward, determined that fear was no longer an option....Michael needed her.

Attempting to grow closer she was met with a force that knocked her backwards. Losing precious footing she landed on the floor with a thud. Rocked by the physical interaction she cowered there, arms encircling her head for protection from another blow.

It was in that moment that Michael returned........ her Michael.

"No...... Nikita!!!"

As if plucked from a dream-like state everything stopped; the room plunged back into normality. Looking around with uncertainty, she took in for the first time the unassuming presence of the room, feeling safe in its almost sterile decor. She rose from the floor hugging herself in a cocoon of solace. She watched as Michael got up from the bed, swaying with weakness. He walked to her slowly, brought his hand up to her cheek to gently rub the soft skin and with true concern emanating through once again beautiful green eyes asked, "Are you ok?"

Trembling she managed only a nod.

He dropped his hand with the reassurance and turned to leave the room.

"Michael?"

She expected an explanation...... some attempt to put the entire experience together into one believable package.

He turned back toward her inquiry, eyes once again gray and lifeless.......

"You shouldn't have interfered."

************

Not wanting to remain behind in the room that so recently was a chamber of horrors, Nikita vacated on the heels of Michael. She was a jumble of nerves; the impact of what had just happened resonating in aftershocks. Belief was still adrift in a cloud, the audacity of what was reality a concept hard to grasp. Small voices pecked at her intelligence, reminding her it couldn't possibly be real. She considered the total loss of her own sanity.....The possibility that she had finally gone over the edge. A righteous argument to say the least.....Highly probable......

*Stop it*

It was real. No matter how incredulous...no matter how improbable...the fact remained. She was witness to something that went beyond the realm of denial and finally convinced of that fact she headed for the only person who could help her.

*****************

Madeline sat behind her desk in the overstuffed leather chair emanating a relaxed posture that belied her true state. She lifted her now cool cup of tea to her lips, the chatter of the cup on the saucer telling of the slight shake in her extremities. She was waiting for Nikita. Madeline knew a lot about people and what made them tick; sometimes knew in advance their future actions even before they themselves were privy to it. With total surety she knew now that Nikita would come......and for that she was grateful. Admittedly she was out of her realm this time. Her tenacious hold on the truly tangible had been lifted from its perch of surety.

Michael.....

Looking back she now knew without a doubt that he had continued on beyond the therapy she had provided, still doused in the horrors of darkness. He had successfully deceived her and everyone else. She wondered how long it had continued before letting loose its hold on his psyche. This was without a doubt a recent recurrence. She would have seen it sooner had it been there before.

Despite the paranormal essence of the situation at hand, the psych op in her easily correlated it with the intricacies of the mind. She had to go back, put the pieces together and then it would come to her.

When did it begin?

She needed to find a trigger.

He was shot......

She remembered the vacancy of his eyes upon awakening in Med Lab.

He's been shot before.

Something was different this time..... Something that caused him to withdraw.... Something so horrible he retreated back into the darkness. Inviting what ever was there to take him....

There was only one person beside Michael who could answer this question.

***************************

Nikita entered Madeline's office uncaring of the inappropriateness of showing up unannounced. Her hair flew in wild tendrils about her face; eyes wide open in shining dismay. Her chest heaved with every breath. Looking at Madeline sitting so calmly in her chair caused the intense desire to reach around her neck and squeeze the patronizing life right out of her. Struggling for some semblance of control she remained fixed in the open doorway taking in slow deep breaths.

Having regained part of her composure she swallowed hard and entered the room.

Madeline smiled and gesturing to the chair across from her offered the frazzled young woman a seat. Nikita slid into the chair suddenly uncomfortable with the reason for her visit. She was suddenly worried that recounting the story of what had happened to Madeline would somehow reflect on her own sanity. Biting her lip nervously her head snapped in attention at Madeline's voice.

"Hello Nikita......I've been expecting you."

Nikita let out the breath she had unknowingly been holding.... "Why am I not surprised?"

Madeline smiled in response to Nikita's quip. They sat in total silence, neither willing to play all the cards they were holding.

Nikita watched as Madeline turned on her monitor, typed in a code and turned the display for her viewing. She watched in mixed horror and shock as the scene she had just lived played out before her. Unable to pull her gaze from the screen, she watched in fascination as the details played out. Without the interference of terror she was able to see with a more logical mind what had happened. She watched Michael. His hands were twisted in the sheets as if desperately trying to remain fixed; chest heaving to capture the precious gift of oxygen.

*My God, he's choking*

He was not the monster she had envisioned. The eyes that had sent a bolt of fear so intense were no longer the evil glare of a demon; they glowed with fear and resignation, hurt and anger. It was the anger that still caused her to gasp......a rage that threatened to explode.

She heard it now......... his voice telling her to get out....... no longer threatening but more in panic.

His eyes changing to anguish when she was felled by unseen hands.

*He was protecting me*

*****************

Madeline clicked of the screen. "Are you ready to talk?"

Struck mute Nikita simply nodded.

"Your fear is understandable Nikita. This isn't something too many people have had to deal with."

"What is it Madeline?..... Is it Michael?"

"In a sense, yes." Madeline rose from her chair, needing to walk while letting loose the information. "I've done some research. Most of the cases available to me involved children. You see, children, in their innocence are more open to poltergeist activity. Spirits, as you will, tend to migrate toward those who provide no resistance."

"But that hardly describes Michael" Nikita interrupted.

"Indeed. But obviously we are not dealing with the rather harmless activity of a restless spirit. Whatever it is has been drawn to Michael for different reasons."

"Why Michael?"

Madeline smiled briefly at the young woman...... "I was hoping you could tell me."

"I don't understand"

"Michael appears to be opening himself up to this being and apparently that gives it more strength. He's sacrificing himself Nikita....... Why?

Nikita shook her head silently, refusing to acknowledge Michael's willingness to let himself go.

Madeline continued. "When Simone died, Michael had curtained off his emotions. He recognized that if he were not emotionally available there would be a certain safety; that he couldn't get terribly close and by virtue of that get hurt in the way he had in the past. Section has certainly added to this. Michael had sustained several emotional blows in the past and as a result of those collective experiences he seemed to carry a sense around that he was not deserving and that people weren't likely to care about him."

Nikita couldn't resist "Was he right?"

Madeline smiled, taking a long pause before answering. "No."

"And of course everyone let him know this." Nikita couldn't hide the bite of sarcasm.

Madeline didn't provide a response.

"It had appeared that Michael was healing. There were changes, subtle ones, but there nonetheless. That is until the mission where he was wounded. Can you tell me about that?"

Nikita couldn't hide her surprise. She sat silently, the flashes of that fateful day playing in her head over and over again. The connection had been made......she felt dizzy, nausea rising up into her throat. Michael couldn't bury the hurt she had caused. Madeline's words played in her head *not deserving*.....*people weren't likely to care*. Her mind raced with the intruding thoughts. Tears flowed freely as she looked up to meet Madeline's inquiring glare.

"I shot Michael." Hearing herself say it out loud caused intense grief, the tears erupting to uncontrollable sobs.

"I see." Madeline stated softly.

Nikita no longer cared what would happen to her as a result of this revelation. She waited for whatever would come next.

"Thank you Nikita. I know how hard that was." Madeline smiled

"What happens now?" Nikita asked.

"Now we help Michael."

************

Nikita entered the briefing unable to hide her shock at seeing Michael already sitting in his chair. He kept his eyes straight ahead, letting the other operatives filter into the room with no particular regard. She chose the seat next to him purposefully, not allowing him to escape her nearness. His tension was almost palpable.

She turned her attention to Operations who had already begun the briefing.......

The mission was to secure vital information, which would lead to the downfall of a rather small faction of terrorists. The group essentially was a smoke screen for its mother organization; a larger regime that Section had attempted to monitor but had thus far remained elusive.

Operations finished quickly...... "Study your PDA's....... Michael will be team leader. Any questions?"

Nikita cleared her throat before speaking "Michael shouldn't be on this mission....he's not ready."

Operation's crystal blue glare pierced in her direction......

Jutting out her jaw in determination she remained undaunted.

Operations arched his brows "That's for Michael to decide" Turning toward the object of conversation he tilted his head slightly to ask "Michael?"

"I'm fine" he answered softly.

"Good....now that that's settled....see Walter for munitions.....Egress is in two hours." Stuffing his hands in his pockets Operations spared a moment to glare at Nikita once more before leaving.... "Dismissed."

Nikita jumped from her chair to block Michael's departure..... "You're NOT fine Michael.... We both know that."

She searched his face for the answer he wouldn't verbalize, didn't expect that he would justify the one sided conversation with an answer. He surprised her......

"Nikita, I am more capable of doing the job now than I have ever been. I don't expect you to understand that. I once told you that I led my life split in two, hiding the part of me that would interfere with my role as an operative. The half of me that had feeling......" His voice cracked, stopping him mid-sentence.

He paused for a moment to regain composure, releasing his eyes from the deep pools of blue that singed his soul. Looking away he continued....

"That half of me is gone now." He whispered.

Nikita could see the agony pooling in the green depths of his eyes... "You're wrong Michael."

Closing the distance between them he let his eyes lock with hers.... "You saw Nikita"

"Yes, yes I did Michael" She stood with arms akimbo, a measure of conviction in her voice.

"That's all that's left of me now"

"That wasn't you Michael." She grabbed his arm demanding he listen. "I can't say I know who or what was in the room yesterday, but I do know it wasn't you."

"Perhaps" he acknowledged "But it represents all that I am"

Nikita shook her head in denial the soft *no* barely heard.

"It's in your best interest to stay away from me Nikita" The tone of warning in his voice brought back her defiance.

"I want to help Michael"

"You could have been hurt." He hissed

"You protected me" she retaliated

He sighed quietly. Opening his mouth to speak; closing it again at her continuation..... "The part of you that still feels was there Michael." She reached up tenderly to tuck a stray lock of hair behind his ear.... "He's here with me now."

Responding to the affectionate gesture, Michael smiled, a soft sad smile "You always look for the good in people Nikita......"

"Yes, and I'll continue to fight for that good."

He looked deeply into her eyes, too much emotion threatening to let loose... "I'm tired of the fight Nikita" he whispered

He turned to walk away, stopped and spoke softly over his shoulder... "Do me a favor"

She waited for him to continue......the pause excruciatingly long.

"Don't waste your time on me."

Nikita watched him walk away, every fiber of her being wanting to stop him from leaving. It wasn't necessary. She realized he had said more with so few words than he realized.

She didn't know yet what Madeline's plan would be.......she just knew without a doubt it had better happen soon.

************

The Mission.....

The location was an abandoned warehouse littered with intricate mazes of steep metal stairs connecting catwalks of various heights. Cylindrical stacks loomed ominously from the cement floor, the hiss of their emission echoing in the otherwise barren structure. The outer rim of the building held the occasional small room held off limits by metal doors. Everything proceeded as planned.

Michael's COM unit buzzed with incoming confirmation of arrival to point by each team..... "Team 2 proceed."

He watched as they snaked their way stealthily through creaking rusted metal walkways, securing the Intel their primary goal. Slinging his weapon over his shoulder he proceeded to climb the stairs, swiftly coming to the first landing of catwalks. Crouching down to decrease visibility he spoke through his COM unit..... "Birkoff......report."

"Almost there Michael."

He could hear the young man's fingers tapping furiously on the keyboard. "Estimated time of completion 5 minutes. Proceed."

Michael searched the perimeter, looking for Nikita. Seeing her make her way up through the maze he continued with his own climb. In pure synchronicity they each arrived at their intended destination at opposite sides of the building.

Nikita waited for word from Michael. She held the small mechanism in her gloved hand, readying the timer which, once set, would send death and destruction on its way. Securing the Intel was the primary mission, destroying the building and its derelict occupants an unfortunate necessity. She stood poised at the cylindrical stack, watching Michael duplicate her maneuvers like a mirror. Their timing was perfect......everything waiting smoothly for Birkoff's confirmation to Michael that they should proceed......

The creaking noise echoed through the still air.

And she watched......

With disbelieving eyes, she watched as the catwalk supporting Michael began to give way, the gradual slide of one end sending him sliding backwards, hands reaching out to grab support. As if in slow motion she watched as the tenuous hold of the rotting metal gave up the fight for survival and fell away, its descent long and silent until slamming with force against the cement below.

And she ran...........

Ran toward Michael as he hung from one hand in mid air, the single metal banister refusing to join its compatriot.

She barely registered Michael's voice in her COM unit. "Nikita.....Plant the charge."

She didn't answer; her mind a flurry of panic she continued her desperate journey to reach him. The distance seemed like an eternity.

And she saw...........

Michael's struggle to raise himself had ceased.

Placing her weapon down she inched her way slowly onto the metal precipice, her additional weight causing the groan of already stressed metal.

"Nikita.......No." He pleaded.

She continued on her stomach getting closer to the edge from which Michael's very life now depended. Grabbing his jacket she tried with all of her might to pull him up; the surge of adrenaline giving her additional strength yet not enough to lift him to safety.

Her breath came in heaving gasps....

"Michael........Give me your hand."

"Nikita, get back."

"GIVE ME YOUR HAND."

He looked up into her eyes; green eyes of defeat meeting crystal blue determination. His voice came in an agonizing whisper.

"Please Nikita.......... Let me go."

She saw that this request was something he wanted more than anything........To just have it all finally be over. Part of her empathized with this desire; saw that he had reached the limits of coping with the cruel hand of fate his life had been dealt.

She didn't care if the part of her that was selfish was rearing its ugly head. She needed him. She loved him.

"You go............ I go."

As if in another world time stood still.......the beating of her heart the background symphony for their panting breaths.....

Slowly his hand came up and together they struggled for the life of the other, the squealing of the swaying metal a constant reminder of their dire situation. She could feel his strength weakening; her's becoming stronger in response. Each inch was an excruciating effort; yet with every one accomplished she pushed harder. In a tangle of arms and legs they fell together onto the safety of the adjacent catwalk.

Unable to catch her breath she sat holding Michael in her arms, her grip as strong in the aftermath. He felt the pain of her grasp on the still unhealed wound............ he didn't care......it was a pain that was welcome.

As they sat in silence she waited for the words that would make it all ok.......the words that would say that he wanted to stay............that she had helped him not just because it was what she wanted, but that he wanted it too.

And when they came it was like music to her ears.........

"Thank you Nikita."

**********

She didn't look up when the doors hissed open, fastidiously continuing the detailed task of pruning the tender leaves from the beautifully displayed bonsai trees.

Operations made his way over to her, allowing her the distraction...... "Am I to assume all went according to your plan?"

Madeline smiled her affirmative answer, her eyes still on the detailed project before her.

"You know I rarely question your strategies Madeline.......but a mock mission?" He questioned.

"Things have been slower than usual. I took the opportunity to test two new recruits who have nearly completed their orientation period." She looked at him, soft brown eyes conveying a hint of mischief..... "It also allowed Michael to re-enter active status........He said he was ready........Now we know for sure."

"And from the debriefing I just had with Nikita it would appear we almost lost him on this non-hostile endeavor." His eyebrows raised with implied accusation, softened by the combination of caring and admiration he let play across his features.

"Yes, an unfortunate occurrence"........She paused and then went back to her pruning task..... "Still, all in all, I'm satisfied with the results."

He watched her devote her attention to the plants, seeing once again the smile he had grown to love.

"Yes, I can see that you are."

He turned to leave. The electronic doors opened in dual purpose, Nikita standing on the opposite side of the alcove. A brief glance in the other's direction was all that was necessary in the way of greeting. Nikita waited for him to proceed with his exit then entered the room.

With an uncanny radar-like sense Madeline spoke without the benefit of sight....... "How is Michael?"

"He'll be fine. Med Lab is releasing him now."

"Good."

Nikita paced slowly, her fingers tracing the various inanimate objects in the room.

"Madeline." She waited for the older woman to look at her, not really sure of what she wanted to say.

"Michael almost died on this mission."

"Yes I know."

Nikita digested the words. Too many years of lies and deceit had clouded her innocent acceptance of what was presented, suspicion weighing heavily on her mind. A direct question would not be answered to her liking. She was used to this being so. Having recently learned how to play the game she continued............

"About Michael." She continued her walk through the room, taking in the sparse furnishings with pretended interest.

"I'm sure he will be fine." Madeline responded.

"Physically or emotionally?"

Madeline's smiled "Both."

Nikita was up against the master of word games and with projected defeat she decided to cut to the chase....... "You profiled this mission."

"Yes, I did." Madeline answered.

"Tell me Madeline.........were you willing to risk Michael's life for your plan to succeed?

Madeline turned her attention back to the plants..."Michael was at a point where he was willing to sacrifice himself. His value as an operative was in jeopardy. The level at which he was existing was unacceptable to Section as well as to himself."

"So, the answer is yes."

"That's not what I said." Madeline replied.

Nikita sighed in exasperation..... "And me?........Were you willing to risk my life to save Michael?"

Madeline turned toward the younger woman, her deepening brown eyes displaying a hint of sincerity....... "Were you?"

Nikita's expression turned to one of surprise. Knowing she had done just that had put all the more leverage to Madline's repartee.

"Very good Madeline....... Very good."

No further words were spoken as two genuine smiles passed between them. Nikita left the room with a sense of satisfaction.

Madeline got the last word, albeit ones only she would hear.

"I know."

Still smiling she continued trimming away.

********************************

The golden haze of dawn floated through the room, growing rays of the sun's rising glinting off of structures that welcomed its offering.

He woke with the vague sensation that he was not alone. Heavy eyelids fluttered open, the remnants of sleep refusing to let go its hold. He felt the unseen hands on his shoulders, traveling toward his chest. There was no threat, only a warm inviting caress.

Bringing his hand up to capture the delicate softness now lying across his heart, he smiled..... "You stayed."

Nikita stood at the arm of the couch looking down with smiling eyes...... "Of course."

He sat up slowly bringing her hand with him and she followed the pull until she was seated beside him. She watched as he sat there silently, obviously trying to gather his thoughts into words....... Words that always escaped him.

Seeing his struggle she brought her fingers to his lips........ "It's ok Michael......words aren't necessary."

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the couch, feeling for the first time in a long time a peace that enveloped his very being. Nikita snuggled up against him, her head resting beneath his chin. Her hair brushed softly against his skin with the rise and fall of his chest. He brought his arms out and around her in a tight embrace, holding on to her with a deep seated need to be feel her against him, to bask in the essence of the compassion that drew him like a moth to a flame. He breathed in deeply the clean fresh scent of her skin, letting the sigh of contentment escape his lips.

She lifted her head to look into his eyes....... "Are you ok?"

His gaze lingered, the sparkle back in beautiful green eyes.

"Yes Nikita.....I am."

They sat in silence, holding each other as the sun continued to rise........The remains of darkness being pushed away for the brightness of day.

And when darkness calls again it would once again lose the battle to the light.

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