Madeline sat at her computer so deep in thought the sound of her electronic door opening failed to distract her. Michael stood there, hands folded in front of him

"You wanted to see me?"

A bit startled she looked up and smiled "Yes Michael, please have a seat."

She sat back in her chair, turning off the computer, staring at a small vial containing a golden liquid. She lifted the vile off her desk and absently rolled it between her fingers. Michael stared at the vial, his curiosity more than piqued, but sat quietly waiting for her to speak.

"Section has developed an experimental serum that will be utilized for interrogation purposes. The goal is to leave its subject visually unharmed so as to enable them to re-enter their respective organization under Section's control. It is our hope that once this serum has done its job that an actual mind conversion will be expedited."

Michael stared at Madeline, no expression giving away a sudden feeling of anxiety as to where this was leading. She got up from her chair to stand behind it and let her hands slowly trace the outline of the leather….. her reluctance to simply instruct Michael on his assignment increasing his distress. She slowly continued.

"The original formula is not ours. It was retrieved on a mission in the Middle East. The lab has worked diligently to break down its components and has added the necessary formulation. At this point it is believed we have gained all of the information necessary to begin testing."

Unable to quell the weighty sense of unease any longer, Michael interrupted "Madeline, why am I here?"

"It is our intention that this serum will not end in death but until it is tested we can't really be sure. We do know that it will cause excruciating pain, fever, dizziness, and nausea. Beyond these symptoms there is no way of telling what effect it will have on the body or whether any damage caused is irreversible. We need to know if the host is still able to think clearly after the introduction of the serum." She paused here to look at Michael. She knew he wasn't going to like his part in all of this and she was genuinely worried for him. "We need to test this on someone with a strong conviction…someone we would not expect to be easily broken….. who has undergone torture and has triumphed."

Michael's eyes lowered a bit in the attempt to shield his thoughts from Madeline's intense gaze. He knew there weren't many at Section who would fit these specific criteria and immediately his mind flew to Nikita.

"Michael…it has been decided that you will make the decision" she said softly. She looked at him with a touch of pity in her eyes. .. her own thoughts racing through all that has been asked of him…the constant testing…and wondered just how much more he could take.

Michael's stony gaze did not falter. "You want me to decide who this serum will be tested on." He stated it as a simple fact, his voice a soft monotone.

"Yes Michael. As you are aware there are only two subjects who fit the criteria; one is Jurgen and the other Nikita."

Michael interrupted here quickly "Nikita did not really triumph over torture…she did end up giving the location to Red Cell."

"Yes..she did" Madeline smiled "but she did not break as a result of her own torture." Michael paled at this, remembering that she gave up the location for him. "You will make the decision before tomorrow morning." She handed him the serum, sat back down at her desk and turning on her computer went back to work. Michael, knowing there was nothing else that would be said, turned to leave the office.

"Michael..one more thing."

He stopped but didn't turn around.

"No one is to know of this experiment. Not even the chosen host. The serum can be introduced in a variety of ways. Understood?"

"Of course."

She watched him leave and immediately pressed the button on her intercom.

"It's begun."

________________________________________________

Michael walked back to his office with a determined stride. He did not want to begin thinking of this latest dilemma until he was alone in his office and certainly was not of the mind to be waylaid by anyone. Once safely in his office he drew the blinds, sat in his chair and his thoughts flooded him before he even had the chance to open himself up to them. He knew immediately that he would not choose Nikita as a guinea pig for Section. But the dilemma still remained. Nikita had become quite fond of Jurgen and actually, much to his dismay, appeared to love him. He and Nikita maintained their professional relationship but nothing more. Jurgen had won and he smiled sadly as he mentally confirmed that he had not done so without his help. He pushed Nikita away, practically offering her up to Jurgen. She would never forgive him but at least they remained on a mutually professional level. She still talked to him and still respected his abilities as an operative and they worked well together as a team. Now it was Jurgen who brought light into Nikita's eyes. Jurgen who managed to keep a smile on her face. She appeared as happy as she has ever been in Section.

Michael knew that choosing Jurgen for this experiment would take Nikita …what small part he still had…away from him forever. He refused to hurt her again….a hurt of this magnitude would devastate her and he wondered if she would recover. A brief smile crossed his face, one of ironic sadness, as he realized even if she did…he himself would not.

He rolled the serum between his palms and closed his eyes. Knowing he had a mission scheduled for the next day and that he should be resting, he eased himself back in his chair and shut the light on his desk. He knew that there really was only one decision he could make and with this realization he attempted to clear his mind.

************

Madeline sat in her office watching Operations pace back and forth. She sighed with the realization that he was not at all happy with the latest test they had put forth on Michael. He cared for the young man more than he was willing to admit…even to himself.

He rubbed his chin in deep thought then looked up at Madeline…his eyes in a far away place… "Has he made the decision yet?"

"I haven't contacted him yet this morning. He was told the decision should be made by today and I'm sure he has done as requested." Madeline stated. She watched Operations closely and sighed…. "He will chose as expected…you know that. We will get the information we need from Jurgen after the serum is introduced."

Operations paced back and forth slowly…he stopped and looked at Madeline with a questioning gaze…one she recognized and immediately was able to interpret… "You are worried about Michael aren't you?"

"I'm worried about the gradual decline of Section's finest operative…. We have to see where his obligations lie…something that has never been questioned with regard to him before. He needs to prove himself again." Operations resumed his pacing

"He will make the decision…Michael has never refused a direct order" Madeline replied.

"Ordering him to make the choice puts him between a rock and a hard place. Michael knows that choosing Jurgen will place a larger wedge between he and Nikita… he will make this choice as it essentially is the only one he can make."

"As soon as Jurgen is exposed we transfer Nikita" Operations snapped.

"Yes, at that point both Michael and Nikita will be amenable to the transfer taking place." Madeline smiled. "Michael will be back with us totally, the serum will have been tested, Jurgen's situation will come to a close, and all will be as it was."

Operations stared at the display of bonsai trees absently. His mind worked furiously at this scenario they had just discussed. He placed them in order as if to digest the possibility of success. He was sure that everything would go as planned and finally Section would be back to normal. He rubbed his chin in thought….something wasn't quite right but he just couldn't put a handle on it.

_________________________________________________

Michael awoke a bit disoriented at first…he had spent many a night asleep at his desk and quickly accustomed himself to his surroundings. He got up quickly and gathered the things he would need to shower and dress before the briefing for his mission in the afternoon. He entered his quarters and heading straight for the shower stopped suddenly as the memories of the previous evening flooded him. His usually leisurely shower was done in record time and now dressed he headed back to his office.

Once again seated at his desk he rolled the serum between his thumb and first finger, staring at it as if it was something he had seen for the first time. Unavoidably his thoughts once again turned to Nikita. He began to berate himself for allowing things to get to this point. His weakness had been exposed and now once again someone would suffer….too often that someone was Nikita. What little they had had was essentially gone at this point and Michael began to wonder if choosing Jurgen, thus letting the final wedge be placed between them, was such a bad thing after all.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind he opened the center draw to his desk and pulled out a slim black case. Anger began to replace the worry and concern…he was being tested again…to what end he didn't know and at this point he really didn't care. Mechanically he withdrew a plastic syringe…slowly attached the needle…and with a certain amount of expertise drew all of the golden serum out of the vial. He rose to lock his office door, shedding his jacket along the way. Returning to his chair he placed the rubber tubing around his biceps and tapped smartly at the crease of his elbow. In one fluid motion he ejected the remaining air from the syringe and slid the needle effortlessly into his vein. Upon completion he sat there with a genuine smile upon his face. This time they would not win.…the criteria had been met.

************

Walter worked intently on his newest creation and was startled a bit by a hand lightly placed on his shoulder. He turned abruptly only to be faced with the sweet smile of Nikita.

"Hi Sugar, I'll be finished in a minute." He was about to continue with some of his usual lustful innuendo when he noticed that Nikita looked like something was bothering her. "Everything ok?"

Nikita leaned closer to him so as to maintain as much privacy as was possible in Section. "Walter…It's about Michael" she began.

"It usually is Sugar" Walter interrupted.

She was about to be angered by the comment but softened immediately when she saw the smile on his face and realized he was trying to lighten a little of the load she so obviously was carrying. "I don't know…something's not right. We have been getting along ok considering some of the things that have happened in the recent past." She paused here and let her thoughts situate themselves and then continued… "This morning when I came in I ran into him as he was leaving his office. He seemed very distracted, almost like he didn't even see me. I asked if everything was ok. He never looked at me, simply said, "It will be" and walked away. It's almost like he wasn't even really talking to me..more like to himself."

Walter rubbed her shoulder gently and waited for her to continue. She looked up at him and realized her concern was probably unwarranted. He smiled reassuringly "Trying to figure out Michael is like trying to figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg. You'll just keep going in circles and just when you think you've got it you'll convince yourself you're wrong."

Nikita almost laughed at Walter's analogy. "You're probably right…thanks for listening Walter."

"Hey Sugar you know I'm always here for you" he smiled brightly and winked. As she sauntered off in her new lighter frame of mind she didn't realize her original look of concern was now planted firmly on Walter's face.

_________________________________________________

"You've made your decision?" Madeline asked.

Michael simply replied "yes."

Madeline smiled softly at Michael's composure. She knew information would never be given freely from him and in knowing this she continued with her questioning. "Has the serum been introduced?"

Again Michael's one word reply "yes."

Suddenly Operation's voice came over the intercom. "Madeline, you're needed in interrogation room 3." Madeline rose from her chair keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Michael. "We'll meet again before the briefing."

Once again, not giving any information that was not specifically requested Michael gave his standard reply "Of course."

Unaccustomed to the sensation of frustration Madeline sighed and left the office for interrogation room 3.

************

Operation's continued his briefing of the upcoming mission. Madeline had arrived late to the session, entered quietly and took a seat. All eyes were fixed on the holographic image as Operations described the purpose of the mission. As the briefing continued Madeline's eyes perused the operatives, landing particularly on Jurgen and Nikita. She watched for signs that would indicate which of the two Michael had chosen as host to the serum and none were forthcoming. Her eyes reverted back to Jurgen in particular, as she was sure he would be Michael's choice given the circumstances. She was not at all concerned that there were no overt signs as of yet as the serum would most likely enter the system gradually. She therefore turned toward Operations and his presentation.

Michael sat through the briefing with his usual composure. His mind was attuned to details of the mission but occasionally would wander to Nikita. He noticed that she chose to sit at the opposite side of the table from him and that the only sideward glances she gave were directed at Jurgen. When they had entered the briefing room she had given him a simple "hello" and a small smile and then proceeded to avoid the two empty chairs on either side of him. Jurgen had come in later and had then sat next to Nikita. Michael could only conclude that it was not so much that Nikita wanted Jurgen (although that was certainly obvious) but that she most definitely did not want him. His musings came to a halt when he heard his name….

"Michael, put together your team, mission departs in 1 hour." Operations ordered.

The briefing had been completed and all operatives dispersed immediately to their respective tasks.

"Michael" Madeline stopped his retreat. He turned in answer to her beckoning and waited. Her gaze wandered over his face slowly as he waited for her to speak. She was acutely aware of a slight sheen to his skin and the glassy brightness of his eyes.

"Very clever Michael" she drawled.

Michael continued to stare back, refusing to acknowledge her accuracy of the situation, while at the same time relishing the fact that for once he had denied them the liberty of manipulating him for their games.

Anger flooded Madeline. She was both stunned that Michael had turned the so called tables on them and impressed that he had done so within the realms of Section's instructions. He had, after all, introduced the serum into a host that had met all of the criteria and never had she herself instructed that Jurgen and Nikita were to be the 'only' choices. Yes, she mused, very clever indeed. "You will be removed as team leader of this mission and will remain at Section" she hissed.

Michael opened his mouth as if to speak, thought better of it, and walked away.

_________________________________________________

Jurgen and Nikita hovered around Birkoff's station going over the latest sims for the mission. Turning off the sim after completion Birkoff immediately began work on his next project so as to avoid any further conversation with Jurgen and Nikita. He hated to be around them when they were together, feeling uncomfortable when they locked eyes and whispered in each other's ears….uncomfortable not flustered. Flustered was how he used to feel when Nikita and Michael would lock eyes….feeling a bit sheepish for where his own thoughts would go. He didn't like Jurgen. There was something about him that just didn't sit right with Birkoff and he often tried to figure out what it was….. He realized that part of his dislike for the man was purely because he was with Nikita… not a jealous feeling, more like a defensive stance for Michael. He viewed Michael as an older brother of sorts and didn't want to see him hurt….and this he knew was indeed hurting him. In the same breath, he couldn't really place all of the blame on Jurgen…..Nikita was a willing participant. He shook his head slightly as he realized that he really couldn't place the blame on any one person. Each had played a major part in what was going on …even Michael….but it still didn't stop him from throwing daggers at Jurgen from behind his monitor.

Madeline walked up to Jurgen "This is Michael's PDA…study it…you will be leading the teams on this mission." Jurgen took the PDA and nodded his head.

As Madeline turned to leave Nikita gently grabbed her arm "Madeline… is Michael going out on a different mission?"

"Study your profile Nikita, your mission begins in 35 minutes." Madeline stated softly.

Nikita watched her leave, at first exasperated that her question was not answered, and then worried. Never in all the time she had been in Section had Michael been pulled at the last minute from a mission. Her brow wrinkled as she tried to come up with a reason for this change… so caught up in her own scenario was she that she almost jumped when Jurgen reached for her arm. "Come on Nikita, we have to go."

She headed toward egress but couldn't shake the fear that something was wrong… desperately wrong….

************

Michael stood behind Birkoff, COM unit on, in mission mode. He listened intently as the points were called. He was comfortable with Jurgen's ability to run the teams but needed to be connected to this mission. Birkoff, although accustomed to Michael looking over his shoulder, was confused as to why Michael was not in the field. He occasionally would glance in Michael's direction to see if he would have any input in the current tactical and getting no indication of his intended participation would continue on with his job. The mission went as planned and once he had confirmation that all operatives were back in the van Birkoff disabled the link. Satisfied that all had gone well he removed his glasses briefly to rub his eyes. In the periphery of his vision he saw Michael's blurry form go from stiff upright position to a bent over posture. He reached for his glasses and now with clarity saw that Michael was gripping his abdomen. He was breathing heavily and had broken out in a sweat…. seemingly oblivious to Birkoff's questioning of what was wrong. Birkoff began to panic and rising out of his chair was about to shout for help when Michael grabbed his arm "Birkoff… no, I'm ok." He looked at Michael who was now standing straight but took note of the fact that his breathing was still heavy and his skin was as pale as a sheet. He was about to question him further but Michael's icy stare and curt "I'm fine" made him think otherwise. Birkoff stared in perplexity as Michael walked away and this mental state was only heightened further when Michael stopped and said softly… "No one need know about this." Birkoff immediately nodded his head, (not catching the fact that Michael had never turned to him for confirmation), understanding that this was not a request. He admired Michael, looked at him as a sort of hero, but he feared him as well and had no intentions of defying him.

Walter had witnessed the entire incident. He continued with his work, the whole time considering what actions he would take if any. He realized it could be as simple as Michael's being a bit under the weather…but going over in his mind Nikita's previous conversation made him doubt it was going to be that simple. He decided that he would simply have to wait and observe for awhile and if things weren't going well in his eyes he would take action. Walter too admired Michael, and he knew that Birkoff's fear of the young man would keep his mouth closed …Walter had no similar compunction.

________________________________________________

Michael just barely made it back to his office…no sooner had the door been closed he doubled over in pain. Unable to garner control this time he slowly went to his knees; struggling to take slow deep breaths yet panting as his lungs cried out for air. He tried to pull himself upright and failing at this crawled to the closest chair….. not yet having the ability to pull himself up into it. His body shook with waves of spasm one after the other in a crescendo. In an effort to contain the agony he curled into a ball and embraced the pain with his entire being. Abruptly the pain subsided leaving him slightly disoriented. Slowly he uncurled his body, stiffening as his muscles cried out against the effort. Using the desk for support he pulled himself up, barely making it into the chair before his knees buckled. He lay his head back in the chair and had thoughts of pushing his hair back from his face but his arm denied this simple function. He heard the knock at his door but couldn't muster enough energy to answer….

Madeline walked in slowly and pressed a palm to Michael's forehead. Michael looked up at her and saw that her eyes were filled with worry. He smiled softly with the realization that deep down inside she really did care. "Questioning will begin now" she stated softly. "You understand we must be apprised of mental capacity during all phases." Michael slowly nodded his head.

Realizing he wasn't going anywhere in his current condition Madeline took a seat. She waited quietly… Michael thinking she was studying him as test material … Madeline pondering just how much more this man could take.

************

He watched the mission unfold before him. Everything had gone smoothly and now the teams were evacuating the building quietly. He saw her walking swiftly through the darkened hall, blonde hair flowing behind her. Jurgen emerged from the intersecting hall directly in front of her, stopping her momentum. They spoke quietly between them and as he strained to hear the conversation he realized they had removed their COM units. He moved quickly to reach them….anxiety and anger both rearing their ugly heads. They had to get out….there was no time for this…..the charges had been set for 3 minutes. In what seemed like an eternity he came upon the couple and was surprised to see them smiling at his approach. Simultaneously they raised their weapons taking deadly aim for his chest. He looked from one to the other with a steady gaze. There was no question in his eyes…he knew the reason. He felt the bullets rip into him one at a time in perfect unison.

Michael began his ascent into consciousness quickly, a light rap at his door helping him to break the surface. He quickly smoothed his hair back from his face while taking note that Madeline was no longer there. Taking two deep cleansing breaths he answered the beckoning… "Yes?"

His surprise at seeing Nikita enter was not easily hidden and he silently admonished himself for being caught off guard. She walked in slowly, noticeably uncomfortable and it saddened him to see that things had come to this. He waited for her to speak, not missing out on her nervous twirling of her hair. The silence continued and uncharacteristically it was Michael who felt the need to break it….

"What is it Nikita?"

"I just wanted to know if everything was ok." She stated with a sense of relief.

"Why shouldn't it be?" He replied softly.

"I was surprised you were pulled off the mission yesterday. That's never happened before." She let her gaze wander over his face…… "Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine." Came his standard answer.

She waited for him to continue with an answer to the first half of her question, knowing full well that there would be none. She watched as he rose from his chair heading toward the office door. Quickly her expression turned to one of anger, realizing that once again Michael was walking away from her…..Anger turning to shock when he stood at the open door and gesturing for her to leave simply said, "I have work to do."

He paused briefly to watch her furious retreat then turned back toward his desk, closing the door softly with a visible cringe as it clicked shut. His thought processes, usually detailed and specific now rushed through him in fleeting clips. He had meant to hurt her this time and with this realization came grief. Tangled introspection flashed before him in an effort to sift out the reasoning for this deliberate attempt. Sympathy…first and foremost he did not want her sympathy. He knew that despite the hurt and anger she had toward him right now that her heart would win out…not for love for him specifically but more for the goodness ingrained in her soul…the light that would not allow her to ignore another's suffering. Pity…this scared him even more…this emotion directed toward him was one he could not withstand. This train of thought was immediately interrupted with remnants of his dream. Anger… he wondered if part of his deliberate attempt at hurting Nikita was not quite as noble as his previous reasoning. Admittedly the dream had effected him more than he cared to believe and the green eyes of jealousy crept forward. He closed his eyes in self-loathing.

It was time. He had let things get out of hand. His love for Nikita was stronger than it had ever been and a brief smile curved his lips at this admission. He would protect her once more…this time for her and her alone. Gone was the shroud of keeping her safe for his own needs as well. He would make things right with the short time he knew he had left.

All thoughts quickly fled, making room for a tingling sensation that he now knew was a precursor for his next battle with the agony he had experienced before. Struggling against the searing knife-like torment he failed quickly and darkness overcame him carrying him into oblivion.

************

His rage was not easily contained. He had listened to Madeline's repertoire with a multitude of emotions, the first being astonishment which slowly broiled into fury. No words were spoken. He paced incessantly trying to re-establish control, finally stopping to lock onto the brown eyes that calmly watched the display. Her relaxed demeanor served the purpose of allowing him to unwind and letting out a last huff of breath he was ready to discuss the situation.

"We trained him well." He admitted with a wry smile.

In answer to his statement Madeline simply smiled. She had sat quietly watching the various expressions of his thought processes flash across his face and was somewhat amused at how many he had entertained before settling on what she knew would win out…Pride. Operations had placed Michael on his own personal pedestal and no matter how much anger he may direct at him it was never done without a sense of disappointment that his protégé was not the true mirror image of himself. Michael was everything one could expect of a prime operative but he remained his own person….and Operations accepting this fact reluctantly had managed to give him a bit more freedom, allowing his occasional rebellion with a watchful eye.

Madeline smiled wordlessly. He sighed with acknowledgement that once again she had successfully journeyed into his psyche. Smiling back in confirmation he asked "The antidote?"

"Med lab is working on it." She answered.

"That is no longer acceptable." He snapped.

Rising from her chair Madeline simply replied "I'll see to it."

As he watched her leave some of the tension gripping his shoulders had relaxed. He knew she would.

_________________________________________________

"Jeez Michael, Birkoff exlaimed, One of these days you're going to give me a heart attack. He had been working diligently on his latest assignment when Michael had approached. Quieting his heart's racing he wondered how the man had always managed to advance with not so much as a hint of sound.

Michael swayed slightly on his feet and gripped the back of Birkoff's chair for some much-needed support. Taking in the unsteadiness of his stance and the pallor of his skin Birkoff was about to ask if he was feeling ok yet quickly decided against it as flashes of the day before re-visited.

He listened carefully to Michael's instructions and anyone observing would have immediately noticed Birkoff's complexion paling to alabaster…and observe Walter did…making a mental note to have a chat with his little friend as soon as possible.

************

Michael presented to Med Lab as instructed, not at all surprised that the only one there was Madeline. She stood silently beside a chair completing her set-up of a tray with various empty vials and other phlebotomy preparations. Without instruction Michael moved forward removing his jacket and sat in the empty chair.

Her warm brown eyes roamed his face taking in his appearance. She took note of the dark hollows beneath his eyes…eyes that shone with the glassy signs of fever. His heart raced visibly as she watched the pulse in his neck push rapidly against skin that was much too pale. She purposefully broke her gaze of assessment and turned to the tray "We need some blood samples to gauge the level of the toxin."

Michael immediately pushed the sleeve of his sweater above his elbow and nodded his acknowledgement. With admirable technique she swiftly collected three separate vials and labeling them placed them back on the tray.

He began to rise from the chair but stopped when Madeline gently lay her hand on his shoulder signaling her request that he remain seated. "It will get worse." She stated softly. He simply stared back knowing a reply was not necessary and not expecting one she continued…. "As the stages progress you will be admitted to Med Lab where we will be able to monitor you closely." He nodded his head and this time without interference he rose from the chair. As he turned to leave he paused hearing Madeline's whisper of his name…

Turning to face her he waited for her to continue. In total silence brown eyes met green as unspoken words were passed. Michael smiled softly understanding her concern, turned and walked away.

************

Nikita roamed through Section pausing to chat with various people she encountered. Jurgen was on a two-day assignment and in her boredom she had re-decorated her apartment several times only to place everything as it was originally. She missed the companionship she and Jurgen shared and was there at Section to fill the void…. At least this was what she told herself. On the drive over she had had time to consider the real reason for her impromptu visit and that reason was Michael. Having had time to cool down from their last interaction she was now able to see what was really in front of her. She was getting much better at reading Michael's emotional state and was struck with the realization that he appeared confused, fighting with each emotion that brimmed forth…something she had never seen before. That he was not physically well was obvious….that there was something he was not telling her even more so. She was worried. Despite her history with Michael and the recent parting of a much too fragile start at a relationship, she still loved him deeply. Sometimes this fact still amazed her. She shifted her thoughts briefly to Jurgen and realized that she did care for him and certainly their friendship had blossomed, but that is all it really was.… a friendship. She had turned to him for comfort and found that he was a gentle soul, in sharp contrast to the trainer she had originally met. Their development to intimacy had satiated their needs but love was not a part of it. She knew deep down inside that Jurgen felt the same. Yes, she admitted to herself…she missed Jurgen…but she missed Michael even more.

On she walked headed for the area where she knew she would find her friends, Birkoff and Walter. She encountered Birkoff first and was about to enter into their usual feisty banter when she noticed his strained look when meeting her gaze. "Hey Birkoff, how's things?" She asked this with a twinge of apprehension as she tried to filter exactly what his expression was. "Good Nikita….uh.. I have work to do." He stated guiltily. He turned back to his monitor hoping she would go away but was immediately whirled around in his chair landing smack in front of two very wide blue eyes. "What is it?" she questioned, each word sharp and concise.

He sat there for a minute remembering a similar encounter with Walter not too long ago. He had of course relinquished the information to him but had done so because he wanted to help. Michael would consider it a betrayal but to Birkoff it was the act of a friend.

He sighed deeply and whispered "Talk to Walter."

He watched as she headed off feeling very much like he had been put through the Mill. Rubbing his head as was his habit he went back to work.

_________________________________________________

Walter unconsciously braced himself as Nikita approached. He could see the determination in her gait and with a bit of admiration for her spunk he readied himself for the encounter.

"Ok, Walter…what's going on?" she questioned.

Nodding his head he pulled over the stool at his work bench "Sit down Sugar." She sat reluctantly and lifted an eyebrow to expedite his reply.

"It's Michael"… Walter began only to stop briefly at her audible sharp intake of breath.

She bit her bottom lip, a sure sign of her anxiety "What about Michael?"

Reaching over to rub her shoulder he continued "He's in Med Lab…he's not doing well Sugar."

She didn't wait for further details…. What she had heard had ripped through her like a knife…. Tears blurred her vision as she headed to Med Lab and with each quickening step the pieces of the fractured love she held for Michael bonded together forming a whole that encompassed her entire being.

************

She watched in consternation as the physician's worked over him. Testing of the serum would not be completed as the possibility of losing the host was no longer an option. She quickly rephrased that in her own mind, suddenly uncomfortable with the cold detachment she had become accustomed to…. 'Michael…losing Michael was not an option.'

Madeline had been questioning Michael the day before, pleased that his intellectual ability had not been marred and memory remained intact. It had appeared that the serum was appropriate for its intended use with regard to mental capacity but the physical ramifications had yet to unfold. Before additional assessment could be made she was witness to his last and apparent final bout with the grueling side effects. Admirably Michael waged a battle against the pain that left the usually unshaken Madeline in awe. It was, however, a battle that even the formidable Michael was destined to lose.

She had called Med Lab having quickly made the decision to sedate him, giving release from the torturous suffering, but the need for this was no longer there as she watched him crumble to a lifeless heap.

Consciousness had never been regained. She had maintained a steady vigil at his bedside after explaining in her typical matter-of-fact voice that losing him was not an option. Madeline's presence lent an air of anxiety in which each member of the Medical team worked diligently to keep Michael alive…but it was Operation's brief visit that made them work furiously to save themselves.

He had walked in minutes earlier, hands in pockets, shoulders noticeably drooped. Crystal blue eyes rested immediately on the young man lying eerily still on the bed. The atmosphere was blanketed in hushed silence, all eyes riveted to the spot where he stood. His gaze finally lifted from the bed and roamed slowly over the various Med team members…each one's reaction being akin to a deer's being caught in headlights. Cold icy eyes perused the group, falling on each individual separately. Nothing was said …no words necessary to convey his meaning. A collective sigh broke the silence when he turned and walked out ….

Knowing Operation's brief visit had set the prime objective of keeping Michael alive in stone Madeline left shortly after.

________________________________________________

Nikita slammed into Madeline with a force that left both women reeling. Madeline had no sooner cleared the door to Med Lab when she was blindsided. Regaining their composure quickly the two women stood face to face…. Nikita expected some form of interference from Madeline and was mildly surprised when the older woman simply stepped aside to let her through.

She felt as if each step that brought her closer to the bed was getting harder and harder to take. The evenly paced hiss of the respirator was the only sound she could hear…the lifeless form the only one she could see. A tentative hand reached out to lightly touch his face, slowly tracing the outline of his brow. She whispered his name hoping for some reaction… something to indicate that he knew she was there…none came. She felt a light touch on her shoulder and reluctantly turned in response.

"Madeline…what…" she couldn't continue but the questioning in her eyes was enough.

"Come with me Nikita" Madeline requested. She saw hesitation in the young woman and gently grabbed her elbow to guide her out…. "They are doing everything they can."

Nikita quickly pulled her arm from Madeline's grasp… "No…I'm not leaving him…talk to me Madeline…please!

Madeline's thoughts swiftly turned to another time when Operations had been the one lying there and for the first time in a long time she could really identify with what Nikita was feeling. With a sigh she began……..

************

Nikita had listened to Madeline's summary of the recent events, letting her complete her story before interjecting…..

"Another one of your tests Madeline?" she asked, her voice dripping with hatred.

Madeline didn't answer.

Nikita went over the information Madeline had given her; all too familiar with the fact that often she was given only half the story. "Tell me…. What was held over Michael's head to bring him to this decision?"

"Get some rest Nikita." was Madeline's only reply.

She turned back toward Michael effectively dismissing Madeline before Madeline herself could utilize the same tactic. She didn't see the smile of amusement on the older woman's face as she walked out the door.

She let her eyes roam slowly over his face, taking in every detail. She lifted his hand bringing it tenderly to her face and closing her eyes reveled in the strength she could still feel. Thinking about the turn of events after coming back to Section she felt sadness…she felt defeat…. She did not feel guilt. Her actions had been a defensive stance against the tremendous hurt that threatened to consume her entire being. She opened her eyes to look again at this man she loved, the man responsible for her pain. She still had difficulty rendering total forgiveness, even with him lying there dying, and that is when the guilt broke through. She placed his hand back down at his side, deciding that Madeline was right…. She needed to rest….and as she left Med Lab the horrible thought that Michael's decision may have something to do with her weighed heavily on her mind.

________________________________________________

Birkoff casually leaned back in his chair stretching stiffened muscles… or so it seemed. He took in the actions of other's working within his proximity and satisfied that they were absorbed in their own tasks went back to his computer. It took him longer than he thought it should but eventually he managed to pull up Michael's file from Med Lab. He scrolled down the page skimming the information, finally landing on what he was looking for. He felt the color drain from his face as he stared at the words he had been dreading …The three words continued to blink in and out and he felt his heart beat in synchronicity… TOTAL LIFE SUPPORT………

It was time….

************

Walter watched Jurgen as he walked toward Birkoff's station. He tried unsuccessfully to hide the disdain he felt for the man, a feeling once harbored in his subconscious, brought forth with the knowledge that two people he cared about deeply were suffering from his mere presence. He had once admired the man, had even gone so far as presenting him to Nikita as a member of his self-made 5 percent club. He knew now that this was not true.

Walter had been in Section a long time and through the years had established his own pipeline of information. He learned that the strength of character Jurgen portrayed was simply a reflection of the fact that there were no consequences. His façade of power and conviction proved to be a mask, for beneath it, in Walter's eyes, there was cowardice. Walter knew about Jurgen's blackmail and grudgingly he admired the man's intestinal fortitude to even attempt such a process against Section, but the admiration was dulled quickly with the reasoning behind it….fear. Walter shrugged visibly as he continued his ruminating…even fear was an acceptable catalyst in his eyes. When it came right down to it he settled on the one thing that bothered him most about Jurgen…. That he used this sense of power to sway Nikita. He presented himself as someone who could provide all that was lacking in her life. She felt trapped….he offered a form of freedom…. She felt stifled….he provided release. That Nikita was emotionally open for his Knight in Shining Armor portrayal was obvious.

The fact that Jurgen could really care for Nikita did not get by Walter. He smiled briefly in thinking about his Sugar 'What's not to like?' but the smile faded with the surety that Jurgen's agenda had started out as the opportunity to destroy Michael. A touch of guilt washed over Walter as he remembered his constant attack of the young man when he thought Nikita had died. In retrospect he now saw clearly the fact that Michael was hurting.

And now, Michael had made the ultimate sacrifice, showing the soul he kept hidden for much too long. If Nikita were to ask again about Walter's 5 percent club with regard to Michael there would be no question…he was definitely one of them.

************

Birkoff walked through the darkened hall, the hairs at the nape of his neck standing at full attention. It was late… very late as he had waited for the day's activities to settle down. He hated Med Lab….it gave him the creeps. Just the thought of coming here had turned his stomach into knots but he had to make sure. He knew the deceptions of Section and was not about to base his future actions on what was listed in the computer system. 'Seeing is believing' he thought to himself.

He walked into the room, stopping short as he cleared the door-jam. He let his gaze wander about the room, not registering anything in particular, just gathering up the courage to switch his attention to the bed and its occupant. The stony silence was heavy save for the various beeps, whirrs, and hisses of the machines. Walking forward with a hesitant step he finally stood beside the bed and stared at the man laying in it. His initial shock of seeing Michael helpless and fragile lingered. This was Michael….the man that represented strength and leadership….the man who instilled fear in others while at the same time earning their respect. He was seeing but his mind had trouble catching up to believing. Reaching out to touch Michael's arm he leaned in to whisper his name. No response. He shook his arm while calling out his name again a little louder. Nothing. Realization dawned and he began to back out of the room……..backing out, as he couldn't remove his eyes from Michael.

He had confirmation…..now he had to honor his friend's request….

Jurgen plopped down on the couch in exhaustion, both mental and physical. Immediately after debriefing he had searched out Nikita expecting a warm greeting….what he got was not exactly that. She ran into his awaiting arms not with the thrill of having him home but with the search for solace from her grief. She sobbed uncontrollably making it difficult for him to understand all of what she was saying…. It didn't matter….he heard the one thing that made his blood run cold…….. Michael.

Adrenaline coursed through him negating the exhaustion. Michael…. He had trained him with a brutality that even surprised himself. An unspoken competition between the two had been there from the beginning. Jurgen wasn't sure exactly when the competitive feeling had turned into full-fledged hatred yet he questioned if it was there from the start. He did his best to break the young man but with a silent determination he had refused to be broken. Jealousy…. There was that too. Despite many years in Section Jurgen had yet to earn the respect and admiration that came so easily to Michael….. and when Operations himself took Michael under his proverbial wing Jurgen had to succumb to blackmail to portray his superiority.

Still the unspoken battle had Michael the victor….that is until he was presented with his latest assignment….. Nikita. He had discovered Michael's Achilles heel. He could easily reveal the fact that Michael had given Nikita freedom and watch his final fall from grace…..but he waited…..that would be his final card. Nikita had proven to be an easy target for manipulation and Jurgen reveled in the glory of having defeated Michael in the one game he never thought him capable of….. love. That of course was until today….

That Michael would die in a blaze of glory was not acceptable….. He would use his final card ….. and the added bonus of bringing Nikita down with him merely sweetened the victory.

Moving to his desk he turned on the computer. In addition to the files being used against Section he also had precise and well-documented information that would lead to the destruction of his nemesis. He had done his homework …… Nikita had relinquished enough information to bring Michael down but he wanted more… He knew how Michael worked……knew that the prisoner from the Freedom League would not be allowed to betray Michael's secret. A well-placed digital voice analyzer had successfully provided a recording of Michael's conversation with the prisoner prior to his demise at Michael's hand. He had evidence of the offer of a swift death to the prisoner in exchange for the fabrication of Nikita's six-month imprisonment.

With a smile he waited for the computer to power on……..The smile faded quickly as he stared at the words…… "ALL FILES DELETED"

It was the second screen to come up that pushed him over the edge……

"Appropriate Files Transferred to Section"

MICHAEL

************

Nikita stood silently in the rain….a soothing drizzle that gave her a sense of cleansing. She stared at the headstone on the grave feeling very much the intruder. She didn't want to be here……especially now. A shaky arm reached out to let tender fingers glide slowly over the stone.

She had memorized his words and would keep them in her heart forever……..

****Nikita

Another time, another place.
Know that you have been the light in my darkness and this I will hold through eternity.
Remember always…the only part of me that's not dead is you.

Love
Michael

Birkoff had cornered her earlier and in an anxious whisper told her to go to Michael's computer. He recited a code to access a file there and then giving her a specific time limit for completing the task hurriedly walked away. She had done as requested. The file came up with the brief but heartfelt letter Michael had written, the stinging tears blurring her vision. She had almost missed it. At the bottom of the page, separated obscurely from the body of the writing was: "I thought I had lost you." Please reply.

She remembered immediately these words he had spoken and the memories from that night flooded her with warmth. She pulled herself from these thoughts with the realization that Michael had asked for a reply…… with a soft smile she typed in the words… "You never had me."

Immediately another screen came up……

TO PROTECT YOU ALWAYS……..

She stared at the words in bemusement and was a bit startled when a small window popped up…… she read the instructions in the window and then suddenly the screen went blank….

And so here she was……

She knelt at the headstone and let her hand lightly trace the engraving, paying particular attention to the "h" in Michael. She followed an imaginary line from the letter to the base of the stone and then brought her guiding finger to a point 6" out. Removing a small knife from her pocket she cut a small square into the turf and pulled up on the blades of grass. With a bit of effort the square lifted. She turned it over in her hand and carefully chipped away at the soil eventually uncovering something encased tightly in protective plastic. She placed the object in her pocket and carefully put the square of turf back in place. Smoothing the blades of grass until satisfied that the plot appeared undisturbed she rose and headed back toward the car.

She closed the car door and sat back in an attempt to relax the tension in her muscles. Satisfied that she was ready to see what it was Michael had entrusted to her, she removed the object from her pocket and carefully peeled away the plastic. There before her was representation of the depth of the love Michael held for her and it hit her with full force…. She clutched the object to her chest and let the tears flow….

As promised Michael would protect her always…… for there held tightly against her breast was the Directory.

************

Unaccustomed to well laid plans going awry; Operations paced his office with a vengeance. Finally coming to a halt he rubbed his chin in contemplation and then looked over to the woman who had sat quietly.

Madeline sensed he was ready to discuss the situation at hand. She casually picked up her cup of tea, taking a leisurely sip. He waited patiently. He knew her well… No words would be wasted…

She placed her cup down slowly before speaking..."Given the circumstances I would recommend that Nikita remain here at Section."

He gave no comment for he was in agreement. He took up pacing again… "And the Jurgen situation?"

Just as Madeline was wont to answer there came an incessant beep from the computer. Together they walked to the monitor…… INCOMING INTEL flashed before them. They watched the information scroll down the screen, immediately absorbing what they were viewing. Page after page downloaded before their eyes…

TRANSFER COMPLETED flashed brightly. Simultaneously their heads lifted from the monitor and with quick mirroring smiles they walked from the office.

That they secured the information needed to contain Jurgen pleased them…..but it was the identity of the sender that made them proud…… Michael.

________________________________________________

Just as Birkoff had done two nights ago, Jurgen made his way through the desolate halls leading to Med Lab. Keeping to the shadows he crept silently into the darkened room. Unlike Birkoff there was no hesitation in his step as he arrived quickly to Michael's bedside. He listened to the hiss of the respirator knowing that with every downward push the man who was his enemy was given the breath of life. Keeping a fixed eye on the lifeless face his arm reached out, and with a steady hand the switch that decided Michael's existence was clicked off.

The hiss of the respirator gave one last push and then stopped…the silence now almost deafening…and he watched as Michael's chest rose and fell for the last time. He waited a moment to be sure of his success and he smiled……

With an evil assurance that a long time battle had finally left him the victor, he turned to leave……

The light in the room suddenly brightened and he met with the icy blue stare of Operations. He paled instantly with the surge of fear that wrapped around him. The two men had a non-verbal face-off and Jurgen's eyes lowered in defeat. In that moment he resigned himself to the fact that he would be canceled but the smile returned with the knowledge that he had succeeded in defeating his nemesis.

Turning back toward the bed with an air of arrogance his eyes flew wide…

A slow weak hand moved up to the respirator tubing and easily removed it from teeth that had clenched it into false positioning…… And Jurgen stared in horror as he met once again with green eyes……eyes he thought would see no more.

************

Walter busily flitted from workbench to workbench tinkering with various self-created weapons. The familiar shine in his eyes conveyed his thorough enjoyment of his craft. He looked over in Birkoff's direction in a casual manner as he had done for the past ten minutes. He enjoyed watching the playful banter that usually ping-ponged between Nikita and Birkoff……this time it was different. The conversation taking place, although Walter couldn't hear it, was obviously of a serious nature and Walter was sure it wasn't Section related as both kept a constant watch for a possible eavesdropper. Convinced his little computer friend gave him only part of the story Walter shook his head ….. 'I must be getting old'

The conversation ended and Walter hurriedly looked back down at his work acting nonchalant as Nikita headed his way. He looked up as she approached and his face lit up when he saw that she was genuinely happy…….he had missed her smile.

"Hey Sugar…… how's it going?"

"Couldn't be better" she beamed.

He noticed her sudden distraction and followed her line of site……

+++++++++

An obviously thinner, slowly walking Michael approached Birkoff. He had once again released himself from Med Lab against medical advice…… leaving just hours after re-gaining full consciousness. Birkoff was not surprised to see him….. that was Michael.

Birkoff stared in amazement, wondering to himself if he had actually ever been the recipient of Michael's smile… "I wanted to thank you."

"You're welcome Michael…but…well…I'm sorry for not completing everything you requested."

Michael simply stared with a questioning look, raising eyebrows to indicate Birkoff should continue…

"I never got the information to Nikita. First she was on assignment and then…well, then I heard they developed the antidote."

Michael smiled again, this time with reassurance. As he turned to walk away he was interrupted by Birkoff…… "Can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask." Was Michael's simple reply.

"Why then….. I mean…why just before?" He became tongue-tied…finding it hard to phrase the question correctly… "Michael, most people leave things for people for AFTER their death… why did you want me to give Nikita the information just before?"

Birkoff was now the proud recipient of a third smile from Michael……no answer to his question, just the smile. As he watched Michael walk away he shook his head, feeling more confused than he ever had before…First Nikita and now Michael…they were a strange pair. He decided any further energy used in trying to figure them out would be totally wasted and with this thought he went back to work.

_________________________________________________

Michael let himself fall slowly into his chair. Powering up his computer he immediately began typing in the code he had left for Nikita. The letter he had written popped up on the screen. Knowing his words by heart did not stop him from reading it again and he wondered sadly if they would ever be spoken. With a sigh he pressed the delete key.

Nikita gave a light knock on the door and upon hearing a soft "Yes" entered Michael's office.

"Hi Michael…I just came by to see how you are doing."

His traditional answer *I'm fine* hung on his lips and with a hint of a smile he replied… "I've been better."

She smiled back nodding her understanding.

"Nikita….. I'm sorry about Jurgen."

Nikita knew that he was sincere…… that he was sympathizing with her loss. Jurgen had not been what he seemed… she knew that now. "I know" was all she said.

She turned to leave, pausing in the doorway… "Would you like to get some coffee?"

She watched his eyes carefully waiting for a response.

"Maybe some other time."

Softly smiling she turned and left the office…… and with a spring in her step she headed home with the knowledge that the man she loved had felt the same.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A lone figure dressed in black approached the grave. Mesmerizing green eyes glanced slowly over the plot, coming to rest on a subtle inconsistency marring the flow of the turf. Long slender fingers traced a small freshly cut square in the grass that would have been invisible to the unknowing eye. With a quick tug he held the square in his hand and turning it over removed the object he knew would be there. He held it in his hand briefly and then gently tucked it back in its place. As different hands had done before he replaced the quare and smoothed the blades of grass.

With a knowing smile he walked away.

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