It was quiet in the house... Way too quiet, and uncomfortably empty - like no one had been there in years. She had just been gone for the weekend. Where the hell was everybody?

Richard was gone, and that was okay. He barely lived here anyway...but DAD? Where could Richard have taken him? HE KNOWS HE'S IN NO STATE TO TRAVEL... The silence was making her nervous. She went back up to her father's bedroom. It was just the way she remembered it. But no one was in the bed. It looked as though no one had ever slept in it, not a crease on the linen spread. She felt abandoned, like the house.

She stood in the hallway for little bit, thouroghly confused and disoriented. She'd call the police...that's what people did when their family was missing, right? She'd call the police and they'd find her father...

*****************************

Carloline hung up the phone and waited. She made some tea, paced, looked out the window, and finished three cups before they knocked on her door. She almost expected them to have her father right there with them, but of course they didn't. There were two policemen outside. Both men. She opened the door and motioned them inside. She offered them tea even though she had drunk it all. They both declined. The first officer had a french accent - and he seemed to be the one in charge. The second stood behind him with a note pad, and slowly took notes on her account. She told them how she had found the house completely empty after returning from a ski trip in Colorado.

"It's impossible that my father could have left on his own", she explained," He had a stroke a while ago...he doesn't...move around too well...I have a brother in law that might have taken him...He's an ass, but he would have left me a note to let me KNOW..." Caroline pressed her knuckles to her lips. She looked at the second officer who had not been taking any notes for some time. Something felt off...

"We're going to have to bring you down to the station..." The first officer...the one with the accent...spoke softly to her and motioned to her jacket thrown over the side of the couch.

"You'll have to fill out a missing persons report before we can get started." Caroline nodded dazedly and reached for her jacket. Again, something felt wrong. She'd never had to call the police about something like this before, but didn't the police usually make you wait for a couple days before they did anything...just in case the person showed up?

"Ma'am?" The second officer stood at the open door. She looked at the first officer uncertainly. His green eyes were empty. She decided she didn't want to go anywhere with them, and hastily started unbuttoning her jacket.

"You know... I think I should wait here for a little while... in case Richard DOES come back...I mean this might just all be a big joke y'know...?....I mean not a funny one or anything...obviously...."

"So you don't want our help anymore?" The policeman at the door folded his arms and leaned against the frame.

"No...I'm sure everything will work out..."

"You wouldn't have called us...if you thought that." The french officer spoke again from beside her. "It will be to your best advantage...and everyone elses if you came with us - "

"To the station." The second cop finished the sentence. He casually pulled out his gun and scratched his head with it. "Don't you agree?" Caroline just stared. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. Her mind started racing. I COULD RUN OUT THE BACK...UP THE STAIRS...I'LL LOCK MYSELF IN A ROOM...CALL THE...

"That's not necessary" The first officer plucked the gun neatly out of the second officer's grasp. He turned to her. "Unless YOU think it's necessary..." He was strong. She could tell just by looking at him. If she tried to run he could easily catch her.. There was nothing she could do. Caroline swallowed thickly.

"No...of course it's not necessary...Let's go..."

*************

They put her in the back seat of the squad car. An iron grate separated them. They sat up front. They didn't say a word too her, just stared straight ahead. She checked the doors - they were both locked. She knew they would be.

It was taking too long to get to "the station". She was still hoping that that was where they were going...Her heart sank as they left the city behind. She swallowed again. Her mouth felt dry. Her throat hurt, and she was reminded of those awfull dreams she had where she was so frightened she couldn't even scream...not even in her dream. A friend had asked her once what her worst nightmare was, and that was it - being to scared to even scream for help. She hadn't reached that point yet, but she was getting there very quickly with each passing mile.

And then they stopped. They had been driving for over an hour, and then they just stopped. There was a field on the left side of the road, and a forest preserve on the right. She didn't have to ask which side they were going to. They slammed the doors as they got out of the car. OHMYGODOHMYGOD...They were standing on either side of the car, in front of the back seat doors. She started thinking of all the news reports she had ever seen or read, about murderers dressing up like policemen..about women found in the woods - those very woods - with their throats cut...beaten to death or - She jumped when the click of the door sounded. It seemed to echo off the interior of the car, each time louder than the first. She wondered what the last sound she'd ever hear would be...her own scream...

The door opened and the second officer motioned for her to get out. She did slowly, and stood beside the car. The second policeman took a black scarf out from his back pocket, and came towards her.

"Wait..." The french officer stared down the road. "There's a car coming." Caroline looked, and saw it too. OH THANK GOD...

"Put your hands against the car!" The second officer barked at her, and she did it automatically, her heart hammering against her chest. They were trying to make it look like an arrest. WELL SCREW THEM... She just had to wait long enough for that car to get to them...and then she'd go for it...

*************

Just a little closer...C'MON GOD DAMMIT!...The car came up over the hill, coming closer, closer. She waited untill it was just about to pass the rear bumper before she started running after it screaming her lungs out at it for help. Her feet were slamming against the dirt ground, but she felt as though she were running in slow motion. A shot was fired, she could hear them yelling at her to stop, heard them running after her...The car seemed so far away...They had stepped on the gas pedal...they weren't going to help her.

She veered off into the forest suddenly. If they were going to follow her, she wasn't about to make it easy for them. The branches tore at her arms and face, leaving trails of blood, but still she ran on, not having the slightest idea where she was going. And they were still coming behind her. She could HEAR them BREATHING...

"NO!" She felt one of them grab her arm, and the force of it sent her swinging around. She hit the side of a tree, and slumped to the ground. she rolled onto her back and stared up at what she could see of the sky, beyond the net of branches above her, untill her attacker leaned over her, and all she could see was his cold green eyes. she could hear the other one come up behind him.

"Jesus...what did you do that for?..."

"Shut up..." Everything was getting fuzzy. His face seemed to fade into the shadows, into the branches...untill there was no more sky.

"I guess we won't be needing this..." Something fell near her head onto the leaves. It was the black scarf. She closed her eyes.

*************

She couldn't SEE anything. They'd put some kind of hood on her. She could barely breathe. She had woken up some time ago. She had called out and no one had answered. She turned her head towards the sound of a heavy door moaning shut, and high heels clicking on the hard floor.

Caroline's breathing was ragged, she thought she was going to pass out again - if not from the heat, then from her terror as the footsteps stopped directly in front of her. The hood was being pulled off. She gasped as the cool air hit her and drank it in like water. She blinked at the sudden brightness. The room was completely white. It gave her a headache. The woman in front of her was dressed in a deep chocolate brown. She was like a blot of ink on a fresh page of paper - impossible to ignore. She had a pleasant expression on her face that bordered on sympathy - but not quite. She reached out and gently touched the side of Caroline's face. Her fingers were cool as they brushed against the bruise on her forehead. Caroline winced and shut her eyes against the tears beginning to form.

"I AM sorry about that..." Caroline watched the woman as she opened the door again. A small elegant looking cart waited on the other side. She pushed it into the room, beside Caroline, then brought another chair over, and sat down crossing her legs neatly as she reached for the silver tea pot.

"I know you're probably very confused right now." She poured the tea into two cups. Caroline was mesmerised by the liquid. She couldn't see anything else. The woman stood again and went behind her. "But all you need to know is that you are safe and no one is going to harm you." Caroline felt her hands being freed and brought them to her lap rubbing her wrists to get the feeling back. The woman returned to her seat. She smiled at her and picked up one of the tea cups.

"My name is Madelaine. Do you take cream or sugar?"

***********

"Neither...Look lady, I didn't DO whatever it is you think I did...I've been AWAY - Colorado...and before that Germany...so basically I haven't been in the stupid country long enough to DO anything that deserves THIS...I just want to go home..." Caroline started out strong but she flinched at the way her own voice dwindled at the end of her declaration. Madelaine calmly set down the tea cup she had been offering, and sat back in her chair.

"Actually, Germany is what I'd like to talk to you about...Caroline..."

HOW THE HELL DOES SHE NOW MY NAME?

"There's nothing to talk about...I went, I came back - no big deal. I travel all the time. All over the place." Madelaine frowned and began to look impatient. She set her own tea cup down harder than she needed to and it clinked loudly on the cart.

"Your father gave you a package to deliver - "

"Where is my father?" Caroline felt a coldness seep into her bones. She wasn't in a police station, and this woman was not a cop. And she figured she better stop interrupting

"Madelaine", because she was definitely on the verge of becoming VERY pissed off. "Where is my father!"

"He is at home in his bed....resting....peacefully."

"That's impossible - I was just at the house and he wasn't there..." What time was it anyway? How long HAD it been since she came home?

Madelaine stood and wiped off a spot of tea that had sloshed onto the cart from her handling of the cup.

"It would be wise of you, Caroline, not to interrupt anymore, and to answer ALL of my questions. I do not have time for this. Do you understand?" Caroline nodded mutely and stared into her hard brown eyes feeling very much like a deer caught in headlights. Madelaine was going to run her over.

"Good" The woman said as she flashed a satisfied smile. "As I was saying, your father gave you a package to deliver. Do you know what was in it?"

"No...he said it wasn't important..."

"Who said?"

"My Dad..."

"Who did you give it to Caroline?"

"There was this guy who met me at the airport...I was surprized because Dad said I was giving the package to an old friend of his...but the guy was MY age...He said HIS father asked him to pick me up from the airport..."

"And you went with him." Caroline smiled to herself softly.

"He isn't the type of guy you WANT to say "No" to."

"He picked you up and drove you somewhere - "

"Well, HE didn't drive...There was a limo waiting, with a driver. We sat in the back."

"Where did the driver take you?"

"I...I don't know exactly...it was this house in the middle of nowhere...kind of run down...The guy said that his family didn't really have a lot of money, and I thought that was kind of funny since we were in a LIMO and everything..."

"Do you remember how to get there?"

Caroline rubbed her nose, emabarressed. "I don't know...I wasn't really paying attention...you know?"

"The young man distracted you?" Caroline laughed and blushed.

"hoooyeah."

"How." Caroline sat up straighter in her chair and glared.

"Whaddaya mean HOW?...He made it...very OBVIOUS that he was interested in a lot more than our fathers's friendship, okay?

"He seduced you."

"So what? He was gorgeous, I was depressed. It was fun."

"You went into the house with him, and you met your father's friend?"

"Yes."

"What was his name?"

"I don't remember..."

"What do you mean, 'you don't remember'?"

"I wasn't feeling well...everything was kind of foggy, and dark. You know, I don't think he even TOLD me..."

"But you remember his SON'S name, of course..."

"Yeah, it was Joseph."

************

Michael sat at his desk and read the mission profile. Singer, Price, Jaques, Duncan, and Hodgeman were going to be put on standby. Only he and the girl would be traveling to Germany. It made sense to him - a larger team wouldn't be necessary untill they found out what they were dealing with. Black Star was surrounded in shadows, nothing clear about it - not their motives, their patrons, nor their members. They were not yet being percieved as a major threat, but Michael knew how uncomfortable Operations got about not knowing every single detail about a group like that....a group that had the POTENTIAL of becoming a threat...and then there was still the issue of the Directory, and Heinstrich's purchase of it off the net. Michael had confidence that Birkoff would get things settled, but his job would definitly be made easier if they were given some answers by Black Star. It was they, after all, who had informed Heinstrich of the sellers location on the internet.

It was a strange and confusing situation. Too many different things were going on at once. He had to fly out to Germany to look for some house in the middle of nowhere hoping to also find in it, people who had probably already left. He had to looking for this place with a twenty year old spoiled brat who couldn't remember much about her encounter with Black Star, except that "Joseph had really beautifull eyes". On top of everything else, there was Nikita. He could try to be there for her the way she wanted him to be there for her until Doomsday, but he doubted that he'd ever be able to get it right.

Michael turned off his computer and leaned back in his chair. It was dark in his office, the lights permanently dimmed. He liked it that way. He found the darkness soothing - it was easy to hide in. He loved Nikita. He knew it, and knew that there was nothing he could do about it. No matter how hard he fought it, it was there...from the moment he first saw her - lying asleep on that stark white cot, stretched out and pale as the sheets she layed on. He thought she was attractive then, but it wasn't untill he had seen her eyes blazing with heated anger that he saw how beautiful she was. But it wasn't love then. It was attraction...desire...lust...respect. He couldn't break her - no matter what he did to her, no matter how many times he broke her heart....her flame burned brighter. He admired her strength, her nobility, her passion. It made his heart ache to realize that there was the possibility that people like her might still exist in the world. She was hope to him. She was innocent, and he was afraid to touch her at times, afraid that he'd soil her innocence with his dirty hands, even though it was necessary. He didn't know when he started loving her. It was just there one day, and when he recognized it, he realized he had felt that way for longer than he could remember...he just never acknowleged it before.

He could barely acknowledge it NOW, even though he'd spent the last four nights in her bed...felt her skin against his, the curve of her body, her face pressed against his neck, her arms holding him in the darkness, kissing the night away. Sometimes she wore perfume, and it would hang about her neck like a phantom necklace, and he could taste it when he kissed her there. He loved the scent, because it was hers, and she wore it for him. He smelled that scent now, and opened his eyes, not realizing that he had drifted off. Nikita was there, leaning with her back against the far wall gazing at him. Her lips were set in a tight line, her palms were pressed flat against the wall behind her. He knew she was upset. He knew why.

They stared at eachother from across the room. He could hear the silence breathing between them, untill she spoke.

"You've been avoiding me." He was silent. He knew she wanted him to say something, but what could he say? It was true - he WAS avoiding her, but if he admitted it, he'd have to explain WHY, and then he'd have to admit to her that he was weak. That he was afraid. It was easier to come to her at night - when their world during the day seemed so far behind. When he could forget, because the dark excelled in hiding its shadows. They couldn't be seen - they were safe then. They weren't safe here.

Nikita pushed herself off the wall and slowly walked towards him. Her steps were careful - measured. "I should have warned you, Michael, before we started this that I'm not going to put up with your ignoring me..."

"Started what?" She stared at him. He saw the hurt gathering in her eyes, and saw her shut it off - a trick she had learned from him. She wasn't very good at it. Her voice shook as it dropped to a whisper, "How can you be so warm...and then so cold..." He swallowed and turned his laptop back on, so he wouldn't have to face her. He hated himself.

"I really don't have time for this." Her hand shot out, and connected with his face - a good hard slap that forced his head to the side. She leaned over his desk, her eyes staring into his. She held one finger up under his chin, and said slowly as she backed away from his desk;

"Never again Michael...never again..." And then she was gone. His face stung, where she had hit him, but the pain in his chest was worse.

*************

"I trust the profiles have been handed out?" Madelaine accepted the champagne glass Operations held out to her and smiled.

"Of course."

"How did your "chat" with the girl go?" Operations leaned against his desk, focusing all his attention on the woman in front of him. He watched her sit, and cross her legs, one over the other, as the light from his lamp slid down her nylons. It was distracting.

"She wasn't extremely helpful. She doesn't remember much about her encounter; that's suspicious. It is probable that she was drugged sometime before she entered that house. My guess is that that was what "Joseph" was employed to do." Madelaine ran her finger around the rim of the wine glass, thoughtfully. "Caroline may have had a realionship with him. That might prove helpful. It's a way in."

"And you think it's a good idea to only send her and Michael out first?"

"Yes. Michael will assess the situation and get back to us. If there are any problems we have another team on standby."

"I have to admit, I have some reservations on sending Michael. We might need him here for something else..."

"There is nothing extremely important pending at the moment." Madelaine took a sip of her wine. "And besides, this will solve, for a little while anyway, the issue of him and Nikita."

"They need to be separated for awhile." Operations agreed. "They're getting too close."

"Are you worried about him?" Operations looked at her.

"I do not want another Simone situation. We almost lost him with that. It's dangerous for a man to love that deeply."

Madelaine paused. "You think he does love her then?"

"It's possible...but we can't have that, so it doesn't matter. It has to end before it gets too serious..."

"Of course it does..." Madelaine's voice was softer than she meant it to be, and Operations gazed at her, almost wistfully.

"It's the way things are here...Michael knows it...he won't disappoint us. He never has."

"And what do you suppose we should do about Nikita? She loves him."

"She's a good operative. It would be a shame if we had to cancel her..."

"She is loyal to Michael first, and Section second." Madelaine agreed.

"Nikita isn't especially fond of Section. Michael IS Section...Once Nikita realizes that, her feelings might change..."

"And if they don't?" Operations refilled their glasses, and took a sip from his.

"I don't know."

*************

"I don't WANT to go to GERMANY, I WANT to go HOME!" Caroline sounded like a child and she knew it - she didn't care. No matter HOW she sounded or WHAT she said, she wasn't getting THROUGH to these people. She'd been waiting for hours in that white room, and was just about ready to start beating her head against the wall just to get some COLOR in the place before Madelaine came back, with a suitcase.

"What the hell is THAT for?"

"Your trip."

"What trip?"

"You're going back to Germany Caroline and you're going to help us find those men, do you understand?"

"What for? What did they do?"

"It not important for you to know."

"Waitaminute, you're gonna FORCE me to go back to Germany and not tell me WHY? THAT'S fair!"

"It's not an issue of FAIRNESS Caroline. Stop arguing. Pick up the suitcase, and shut up." And Caroline HAD shut up. For about five seconds.

**********************

Madelaine led her out of the white room through a dark corridor that opened up into a larger, more active area. Some people sat at computers, surrounded by hightech decor. Others crossed back and forth carrying papers, carrying guns. A woman with long blond hair strode briskly past her. Caroline recognized her.

"I know her!" Madelaine turned to her disinterested.

"What?"

"The girl with the blond hair - Nicole or something...she was going out with my brother-in-law..." Caroline turned to Madelaine.

"You knew where my father was, so how about Richard?"

"Do you really care?" Caroline shrugged.

"No. I just wondered if you'd actually tell me."

*****************************************

Caroline unbuckled her seat belt, sat back in the seat and stared out the window. the plane was a private jet, which meant it was small, which meant it was difficult to successfully ignore her traveling companion, who happened to be the french officer who had attacked her.

He had been waiting for her by the steps to the plane. He had greeted her with a curt nod, and she had fired off a round of expletives. They hadn't said anything to each other since the plane took off. That was five hours ago.

************

It was like the stupid computer was permanently stuck to his lap. Maybe the world would blow up if he didn't continuosly type "I am a loser psycho frenchman who has no conversation skills whatsoever, and doesn't know enough to apologize for being a jerk." But that was just Caroline's opinion.

His fingers hadn't moved from that keyboard in the whole five hours and twenty minutes they had been on the plane. He hadn't looked up once. It was BEYOND creepy....Caroline was getting restless, and so she began entertaining herself by imagining aliens popping out of his chest and then beating him over the head with his laptop....The SILENCE was driving her crazy...but she COULDN'T let him win. She wouldn't let herself be the one who talked first.

************************************

Sheer boredom eventually took over.

"Why are we going to Germany?"

"Madelaine already told you." He BARELY looked up from the screen.

"But WHY are we looking for these people? What did they do?"

"I'm not under authorization to tell you."

"Well GET authorized, 'cause I'm not doing ANYTHING untill I know what's going on!" The frenchman took a deep breath, completely irritated.

"We need information from them."

"What KIND of information?" He was silent. "Not much of a talker are you?" He was silent.

"What a brilliant conversationalist... I bet you're GREAT at PARTIES..." He looked up at her from over the screen of his laptop, and Caroline shivered. No one could have eyes that empty and still be human.

"The LESS you know...the safer you'll be."

"Like YOU care about my safety!", she scoffed. "I should sue you for throwing me into that tree. I could have died from massive head injuries or something..."

"If only..." He murmured under his breath, and Caroline slumped further down into her chair.

"This isn't exactly EASY for me you know? All I did was come home from Colorado and my family was gone. Then YOU show up, scare the hell out of me, and then knock me unconscious. Do you have any idea how scary it is to find yourself in a strange place with no idea how you GOT there? Or WHY you're there? Or WHAT is going to happen to you?"

He closed his laptop with a soft 'click', and stared at the leather covering before looking her straight in the eye.

"Yes."

************

Caroline stared at him. "Whaddaya mean YES?"

"I mean, yes, I know what it's like"

"This is just too weird." She said softly and stared out the window, at the clouds. When she was little she and Kara used to fight over the window seat. They used to play a game...they'd try to find as many objects as they could in the folds of the clouds, and if the other couldn't see the dragon, or the castle, it didn't count. Caroline couldn't see anything - just whiteness.

"I'm scared...alright?".

The frenchman was quiet as he looked at her, at the light from the window bathing her face in brightness. She didn't squint against it.

"You hide it well." The girl swallowed and leaned her forehead against the window, finally closing her eyes.

"I was wondering...if any of you were ever going to tell me that my father is dead...Because, I know he is...Were you people just going to let me go home and find him...?" She opened her eyes and stared at him. There were tears, but she wouldn't let them fall. He didn't answer her, and stared back unflinchingly. "Did you kill Richard too? Or maybe that girl did it...Nicole - "

"Nikita."

"...So...both of them are gone..." One lonely tear slipped down her cheek and settled in the corner of her mouth. He stared at it. "I hope...this was worth it to you people..." She laughed bitterly, and another tear followed the trail the first had made. "For all I know you were the one who got my sister...we Heinstrich's seem to be dropping like flies nowadays..." She couldn't take it anymore. The tears were flowing freely, and he could see her trying to make them stop. She stood suddenly, and with her head held high, left her seat. He watched as she walked to the back of the plane and slammed the door of the lavatory behind her. He switched his computer back on, and typed.

HOW MUCH CAN SHE KNOW?

**********************

Michael knocked on the lavatory's door. She wouldn't answer him, but he could hear her crying quietly.

"Your father and brother-in-law were not good people Caroline. Don't waste tears on them." No answer. Michael stood there for a momment, waiting. No answer. He turned and went back to his seat.

A few minutes later, Caroline emerged from the bathroom, and sat back down across from him. Her eyes were still red.

"What are you talking about?"

"We didn't kill your sister. Richard did."

She stared at him.

"Your father got him to do it, by telling him she was having an affair. Your father wanted to get rid of your sister because she knew he was dealing with terrorists. She knew of intel he had purchased off the internet for them, and he had her killed by her husband before she could tell the police. What we are looking for in Germany is the terrorist group your father was working with."

"I don't believe you." She whispered, her face as white as the clouds outside. "Why are you telling me this..."

"You wanted to know." He said shortly.

"I wanted to know the TRUTH-"

"That IS the truth." She flinched at the harshness of his voice.

"He was my FATHER...he...NO!" She shouted triumphantly, "I KNOW you're lying! MY father couldn't have done any of that! He had a stroke after Kara...after Kara was... He couldn't move! He could barely talk! I KNEW you were lying! You bastard..." He caught her by the wrist as she raised her hand to slap him.

"He was communicating quite well when we talked to him." He said coldly. "And he could obviously type. He used a certain finger numerous times while he was with us." He flung her hand away.

"You don't have to believe me Caroline. All you have to do is remember where that house is."

"I don't KNOW where that stupid house is! I didn't give the STUPID driver the STUPID directions! Joseph did!" She shouted at him, and held her wrist close to her body. He had hurt her, and he hadn't even realized it.

"Then we'll have to find him."

"Well that would have been nice to know ahead of time, because now we're going to the wrong place!"

Michael looked at her.

"I never said Joseph or anyone else LIVED in Germany! His whole family is British! He lives in London!...after I dropped off Dad's package...Joseph said he'd drive me home. That wasn't the last time I saw him. I was in Europe for a MONTH. That doesn't mean I STAYED in Germany the whole time. Joseph had to go back to London with his father. He asked me to go with him."

"Why didn't you tell Madelaine this."

"She only asked about Germany, and that stupid package! I wasn't going to offer anything more than I had to! I still don't know who you people are! Why the hell should I trust you!"

"Who said anything about trust?"

"I can't believe this," she whispered. "Who ARE you people..."

Michael took a cell phone out of his pocket. It picked up on the first ring. "Birkoff. Change of plans."

*************

She had fallen asleep after awhile, and he reached over to pull the window's shade down. He watched her sleep, watched her eyelids move, her chest rise and fall. So deep into it, she completely escaped. He never knew rest like that. Not since Simone...

He looked out his own window. The clouds were beginning to melt. The sky was gold. The dying light fell across the sleeping girls face, turning her hair a honey color, the same color the sky was offering to the world. She reminded him of Nikita...the way she sometimes slept with one hand under her cheek, and the other reaching out for him. Carolines hand lay open in her lap, as if waiting for someone to take it.

He pulled his shade down slowly, untill it was dark in the cabin. He should have spoken to her before he left. He had gone to her apartment, and had stood on the other side of the door. He almost knocked twice. He could hear her moving inside, making dinner, slamming doors. And then, everything was quiet, and he knew he had missed his chance. He had gone straight to the plane after that, and hadn't seen or talked to her since their meeting in his office. He couldn't expect her to wait for him. She wouldn't.

And Section knew. He KNEW they knew. They wouldn't have sent him away otherwise. They wouldn't cancel him. His position in Section was as secure as one's position could be. But hers...They liked Nikita - she was doing well, but if it came down between the two of them, he knew who Section would cancell. So he did what he was told. He pushed Nikita away whenever he let her get too close, to ensure that that never happened.

************

He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He had nothing left to do untill they touched ground. He had communicated with Birkoff, and had already filled him in. A car would be waiting for them at Heathrow. Madelaine had warned him that Caroline would have difficulty with the idea of setting Joseph up. She told him to use any means possible to change her mind. She wanted him to seduce her.

Michael opened his eyes, and again looked at Caroline Heinstrich as she slept. She looked so young....innocent....like she had never known pain. But he knew that that was not true. She had been hurt...many times...She had felt the gnawing burning pain of death...and loss...just like him.

And now Section wanted him to seduce her. The same way Joseph had seduced her...had USED her. He didn't like the girl. She was loud in her complaints...undisciplined...but on some level he respected her, admired her strength.

She must have given Madelaine a hell of a hard time...

He smiled softly to himself in the darkness, then stopped. It was getting harder and harder to detach himself from the material lately. Nikita must be rubbing off on him.

***********

He never met anyone who slept so much. Once they left the plane and picked up the car, she immediately reclined her seat and pulled her jacket up over her like a blanket, before mumbling sleepily, "He lives on Butler's Warf...y'know near the-"

"Tower Bridge...I know where it is...Go back to sleep."

Her breathing slowed in a matter of seconds, and she fell asleep. Again.

It began to rain, of course. It was England after all. It stopped ten minutes later, then started up again in fifteen. She woke up once during the drive. He saw her out of the corner of his eye, watching him watch the road. She was looking at him the way you'd look at something you wanted to take apart just to see how it worked. He turned his head to meet her stare, but she had already pulled the jacket collar up over her eyes.

**************

He parked the car, and twisted the key out of the ignition. "We're here." Caroline abruptly shoved the jacket off and stared up at the ceiling of the car.

"We're here.", she repeated, and sighed. She reached down between the seat and the door for the lever to lift her seat, and gasped as a piece of plastic sticking up around the handle cut her hand.

"What is it?"

"Nothing.", she mumbled, feeling stupid. "I cut myself..."

"Let me see..." She held out her hand reluctantly, and he took it in his. the cut wasn't too deep, it was more of a scratch, really, but it was bleeding slightly. He wiped the thin scarlette trail away gently with his thumb, and held her hand for a moment.

"You're cold...", he said and she shrugged. He took her other hand in his, and lowered his head, blowing warm breath over her open palms. Caroline sat completely still in her seat, her heart hammering in her chest. She felt his lips lightly touch the ends of her fingers, and she carefully extracted them from his grasp.

"What are you doing?" She asked quietly, looking out the window. She laughed uneasily.

"You weren't even NICE to me a couple hours ago..." She shook her head and turned back to him. "You don't have to...pretend...just so I'll do what you want me too...I'll DO what you people want...if it's right." She bit her lip. "What's your name anyway?" He smiled at her slightly.

"Michael." She smiled back, and winked.

"Well, MICHAEL...I'll have you know, when I was in a car with JOSEPH he kissed a hell of a lot more than my hands." Saying his name sobered her all of a sudden and she turned back to her window.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked.

"He was good to me...he was there for me when I was...when I was NOT in good shape...I care for him..." She looked him in the eye. "but I'll do what I have to..."

*************

It was always dark in Michael's office. The blinds over the windows were always only opened halfway - so he could see out, but noone could see in. She hadn't been called in for days, but she went back to Section anyway, and had sat in his office for over an hour...in the chair in front of his desk. The chair she always sat in. There was nothing on his desk but a lamp - no personal touches lingered anywhere.

Nikita got up and fixed the blinds, untill the room was completely black. She sat down in Michael's chair, and curled her legs up under her, pressing her cheek against the leather. She felt stupid for coming, and she felt even stupider for missing him.

She had cared for many people in her life, but had loved very few. Most of those people hadn't loved her back - Not her mother, not Michael...only Gray. And look what she had done to him...

Sometimes she wondered why Michael meant so much to her...why she cared so much.... He had been kind to her at times...almost gentle...

She had seen him feel...seen his eyes fill with tears he refused to shed.

She wanted to help him...to...save him?

She shook her head silently...No. Only he could do that...

But she wanted to be there for him...

She wanted him to need her the way she sometimes thought she needed him...

Two whole years of training...she was a redblooded heterosexual FEMALE - of COURSE during that time she had begun to have feelings for him...began to fall for him...For his eyes...the way they touched her face when he thought she wasn't looking...For his voice...and the way he said her name...

The dinner...her first job...the first time she had felt betrayed by him. Betrayed by the pretense...the unspoken promises...

After that she had tried to make herself let it go...detach herself...make herself stop feeling...But her own body would betray her whenever he was near her, in the way her heart would beat a little faster when the cuff of his jacket grazed her wrist...silly things like that had affected her.

And the Baur incident had NOT helped...

*************

It had been an embarrassing experience...not to mention degrading...having to wiggle her ass in front of that pervert, Baur...having to take off her clothes...play up to the camera...play up to Michael...She smiled to herself in the darkness. She had actually gotten his attention a few times...

Nikita wasn't a prude...she was comfortable with her body...she had no problem with showing SOME skin...but she had been running out of things to take off fast, and she wasn't about to let BAUR see her naked...she wasn't sure how she felt about MICHAEL seeing her either...

But then his hands were on her bare waist, lifting her onto the bed...then his lips were on her abdomen...then his tongue...falling to the bed...feeling the satisfying weight of his body on hers, pleasantly heavy, even though he tried to support himself on his elbows so he wouldn't crush her. She had WANTED him to crush her...she had wanted to have him so close she wouldn't have to arch her neck to meet his slow deep kisses that left her struggling for breath...

When they returned to Section, nothing was different...they lived their lives seperately. She hadn't expected a change. It was just a job after all...

And then the next time she had been close to him was in her apartment when she had been thinking about Eric...and their escape.

God, he had known exactly what he was doing...

Taking her hands...scratching her palms, her wrists with his fingertips...tangling his fingers with hers...they caught each others lips between their lips...sometimes teeth...and his hands traveled up her back, under her sweater...down her thigh...

She had stayed for him, and it hadn't been true. He had saved her life. He had lied to make her stay. At the time she hated him for it. He never told her why he did it...but sometimes she thought she knew...

She had never been on stable ground with him...had never been sure how he felt...but these past few days, she had thought she was beginning to...

The day she had come back to his apartment, after Beaudreux had been brought in, she had made love to him...She had held his body to hers, covered his with her own...gave him all of her kisses...gave him all of herself...She had made love to him, not completely sure if that was what he was doing with her.

And she was sick of being the one off balance...sick of feeling stupid for TRUSTING...for HOPING...for loving...

Nikita opened her eyes. She turned on the light on the desk. She preferred the soft lamplight to the darkness. She stood from his chair. She looked at it. It was as empty as the rest of the room...as empty as he was. She turned on her heel and left. She left the light on for him.

***********

Michael and Caroline waited for the elevator. No one was in the lobby.

"What are you going to do to him?" The elevator door opened and they stepped inside.

Caroline pushed 2 and waited for his answer. Michael looked at her.

"He's going to tell us where his father is...and he's going to tell us what he knows about Black Star."

"That's not what I asked. What are you going to do to him, Michael?" The doors slid open as they reached the second floor. It was a small building, only three apartments per floor.

"Which?"

Caroline reluctantly gestured to the first door on their left. She watched as Michael pulled out his gun, and concealed it in the sleeve of his coat. She stood frozen, staring at it.

"Knock."

"I can't do this..."

"Knock."

"I CAN'T!"

Michael lifted his gun and shot at the door. He kicked it open. Caroline stood outside in the hallway. She heard Joseph's shout of surprize...she heard Michael's calm voice asking questions...Joseph refusing to answer...Joseph crying out in pain...Joseph swearing...Michael asking again...Joseph answering...Then the muffled sound of a silenced gun firing...the sound of Joseph hitting the floor.

Michael came out a few seconds later. He walked past her to the elevators. The doors opened. He stood half in, and half out of the elevator, holding the doors open with his back. He held the gun at his side.

"Come on."

Caroline stared at him, then the apartment.

"Caroline."

She turned away from him, and violently shoved Joseph's door back open. She could smell his blood. She walked down the short hallway, into the living room. He had fallen on the carpet. It was soaking up his blood. She was so shocked she couldn't cry. She felt like she was going to be sick, and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

She washed her face in his sink. She stared into his mirror. She jumped when she saw Michael in it, behind her.

"You killed him." Her voice was hoarse. No expression on his face.

"Yes." She swallowed.

"You didn't tell me you were going to do that... How could you do that..." She turned away from his reflection and faced him. "I..I loved him...I...God...you..."

"I'm sorry"

They stood there, in the bathroom, silent. Michael moved to the door. She watched him go, then followed a minute later. He waited for her in the hallway. She stopped directly in front of him, and tilted her head back so she could look straight into his eyes.

"No. You're not."

He didn't answer. He took her arm and pulled her gently into the elevator.

************

Caroline waited in the car while Michael made the call to Section. She had been uncharacteristically silent since they had left the apartment. But he couldn't think about that now.

"Black Star is run by a man named Stephan Palmer. He trains assassinins, and sells their services. They were hired for the hit on our operatives..."

"By who?" Operations asked impatiently.

"Joseph didn't know. He said he was in charge of recruitment...Palmer handled the clients."

"And do we know where he is?"

"Yes. Joseph gave us the location of their base."

"Good. You can come in."

"What about Palmer...?"

"We'll send in Jaques as a new recruit. Once Black Star is infiltrated, we'll bring it down...Some of the newer recruits may even be helpful to us." He added as an after thought. Michael hung up, and leaned against the front of the car. He was done. He could come in. He was unnerved by the simplicity of the job. Why...

He felt the car start up beneath him. But that was impossible..he had the keys in his pocket. Michael pushed himself off the hood of the car and whirled around. Caroline was sitting in the drivers seat, her hands grasping the wheel untill her knuckles turned white. She had hot wired the car. She gunned the engine. They were still in the parking garage, there was nowhere for him to run to, cars were on either side, there was just a stretch of a pathway behind him. She could easily run him down if he tried get out of the way. He was just about to pull out his gun, when she turned off the car. He saw her, through the window, lean her head against the steering wheel. He cautiously approached the car. She unlocked the door and moved over to the passanger seat. He sat down beside her and stared straight ahead at the wall an the far end of the garage.

"Why didn't you do it?"

"Because I'm not you..." He looked at her. She stared at the dashboard, her jaw clenched, her eyes glittering in the dark with tears.

"Just...I want to go home...I'm finished with you people...you're finished with me...I want to go home" she repeated unemotionally.

"Yes..." He said quietly. "We're done here." He put the car into gear, and they left the garage. They drove to Heathrow where a plane was waiting for them to take them back to Section. Caroline was silent the whole trip

**************

Michael had drugged her coffee on the plane. She supposed it was only fair. After all, she had almost run him over. A part of her kind of wished she had.

On the drive to the airport she had distracted herself with looking out of the window...at all the people living their normal lives, knowing she'd never fit in to that kind of world anymore. She couldn't imagine going back to it.

She had grown up in a world where there was always someone to come home to. But then her mother died. Then her sister. Then her father. The house would always be empty. There was nobody to come home to.

She was in a state of resignation. At this point anything could happen to her, and she wouldn't care. The plane could crash, and she'd be fine with it. She didn't complain when her coffee had an aftertaste. She drank the whole cup, and drited off to sleep.

When she woke up she was back in the white room. They had left her lying on the floor. She sat up and held her head in her hands to make it stop spinning. To be back where she started...after everything that had happened...it felt like waking up after a bad dream and realizing it hadn't been a dream at all...

******************

"What are we going to do with her?"

"Cancel her, of course."

"She doesn't know our location. She doesn't know who we are..."

"She knows enough. She'd be a threat to security if she's let go. You know that. In situations like this we follow standard procedure."

"There's no one she would tell - "

"I'm not going to discuss this with you. Do what you have to."

Silence

"Can we give her a choice?"

****************

A knock on her door. She knew it was him. She could tell by the way the sound echoed in the room. It always sounded different when Michael knocked, like he wasn't sure if he should. She opened the door.

"Hello.'

"Can I come in?"

"I don't know..."

"...Do you want me to leave...?" She was silent.

"No. I don't want you to leave." She opened the door wider, to let him in.

"I haven't been here in a while..."

"No.."

"I'm sorry."

"You've been busy..."

"You know what I mean."

"Do I?" He came closer to her. She didn't back away.

"I don't want you to think...that...what happened between us didn't mean anything to me...that you don't mean anything to me..." He lifted his hand to touch the side of her face, but stopped himself and turned away. "You mean more to me then you'll ever know..."

Nikita stared at his back. She wanted to come up behind him and hold him. She sat down on the couch instead. Something was bothering him.

"We got back today."

"I know."

"They wanted to cancel the girl."

"Did you?" He turned and stared at her.

"No. I didn't"

"What happened to her?"

"She made her decision."

"Does she know what she's doing...?" Michael sat down beside her, careful not to be too close. Nikita had left the french doors open. The wind whispered softly through the room. The sky clouded as it began to rain. They left the doors open.

"I explained to her who we are...what we do...she said she'd rather die then become...me." Nikita looked at him.

"You're saying - "

"She said she wouldn't give us the satisfaction of turning her into a monster...into a killer. She's dead Nikita."

He stood from the couch and went to the open doors. He closed his eyes as the rain touched his face. Nikita came up behind him and carefully placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't allow myself...to feel bad...about what happened to her..."

"But you do..."

"She said she'd be dead either way...dead inside...like I was...She said she wouldn't betray herself by choosing that..."

Michael took her hand off his shoulder so he could hold it. He looked down at their intertwined fingers.

"She was right...I am...dead inside...I told you once that the only part of me that wasn't...was you...I wasn't lying Nikita...It was the truth." Nikita slowly put her arms around him, and he held her back like he was afraid she'd disapear if he let go.

"You make my life worth living..." He spoke into her shoulder. "Section took Caroline's reasons...I took her reasons..."

"That's not why she chose what she did Michael...She couldn't live with herself...if she had to do what we do...I think she knew that she'd never be free..."

"Why did you...?"

"Choose Section? Because I was afraid to die...and then later I wanted to...but I wanted a life with you...any life...more than anything else..." Michael lifted his head and looked into her eyes. He saw love there. He kissed her gently against the rain that was still falling, and held her close so he wouldn't drown.

The End

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