"Ok people. We have a problem." Operations looked around the briefing room. "one of our local contacts has informed us that a local animal rights group is planning a protest to disrupt the trade talks between the US and Canada. Apparently they think that if they cause enough of a scene about the fur trade, the talks will be cancelled."

He activated the video screen in the center of the table. It showed a picture of an attractive brunette in her thirties.

"This is Elizabeth Deering, the leader of the group. She is a science teacher at Terwilliger High School with ties to PETA and Greenpeace. She will hesitate at nothing to disrupt these talks and it is vital that we stop her. George will be extremely unhappy is we do not and believe me you do not want him annoyed. Budget talks are coming up and I know you all like your little toys."

"What are her weaknesses?" asked Michael.

"Very few" replied Madeline. "She leads a very quiet life. The only thing that we've found out is that she likes to hang out on Newbie's Night at the Stallion Bar."

"Stallion Bar?" Nikita stifled a laugh. "She must be more adventurous than she looks."

Birkhoff was puzzled. "What's the Stallion Bar?"

Nikita placed a sisterly arm across his shoulder. "Well Birkhoff, it's a strip club."

"Why would she go to see women strip?" he still looked bewildered.

"Not women, Birkhoff. Men!" Operations was getting impatient. * it's definitely time to expand Birkhoff's horizons. I can't believe he's this naive.*

"Madeline, you outfit Birkhoff and Michael, they're team one. Nikita, Gail and you will be team two. Janet and Valerie will be three. I'll be in the van with Simon."

Nikita sauntered out of the room in search of Gail. *This is going to be a good one.* The thought of Michael stripping brought a grin to her face. For once he'd get to see what it felt like to be a sex object. She could hardly wait for the evening's entertainment.

************

It was 10 PM and the Stallion Bar was jumping. Nikita, Gail and Madeline made their way through the crowded bar to a table right at the side of the stage.

"Wow, what great seats. How did you do this Madeline? This place is sold out weeks in advance for Newbie's Night." Nikita could hardly wait for the show to start. She'd never thought of Michael as a newbie to stripping but she supposed he could wing it. Madeline smiled at the expectant looks on Nikita and Gail's faces. "We pulled some strings and they were more than happy to cooperate."

They didn't even want to ask what strings she'd pulled, it probably had something to do with Frick and Frack and just the thought of those two sent shudders up their spines.

"Just one note girls. Be prepared for the target to move in on our dancer. She likes the new ones, must be all those years of teaching. Apparently she likes to take them home and teach them a few new moves."

*New moves? Michael sure doesn't need any teaching, he's got enough of his own* Nikita smirked to herself remembering a certain evening on her kitchen floor.

Just then the lights dimmed and the room went wild.

"Ladieeesss!!! Are you READY!!!" the emcee strutted his stuff across the stage.

"Yessss!!! screamed the hordes of excited women.

"OK ladies, let's get on with the show...."

Nikita and Gail sat back to enjoy themselves. This wasn't called Newbie Night for nothing. All the dancers were new at this. Some of them weren't too bad but some were downright awful. NO sense of rhythm and awkward about getting out of their clothes.

"Jeez Nikita. You'd think these guys wouldn't be so bad at this. Isn't it every man's fantasy to take his clothes off in front of a bunch of eager women?" Gail was disgusted.

Nikita just grinned at her. *Wait til she saw Michael in action, she wouldn't be complaining then.*

Just then, Operations cut in on their running commentary on the dancers.

"Listen ladies, if you wouldn't mind. We have a mission to perform. Have you spotted the target yet?"

Guiltily, they looked around. Even Madeline had lost track of time and was enjoying herself with the rest of them.

Gail spotted the target across from them at a prime table. "Target is at table 6 by herself, red blouse and black pants. She appears to be drinking white wine."

"Ok, keep an eye on her. She tends to visit the dressing room after the show to pick out her latest project."

************

At that point, the emcee came forward.

"Ladies....I have a special treat for you tonight. We have a very shy young man who's just dying to meet you all...I want you all to be veerrry nice to him, he's never even taken his clothes off in front of a woman before..."

The bar erupted in cheers and screams of "I'll help you honey!!!"

Nikita and Gail looked at each other. * oh goody, here comes Michael, can't wait to see him in his undies, who's taking pictures this time?*

"Let's have a big round of applause for .....Jimmy!!!!"

The lights went out for a moment and when they came back on, a shy figure was standing with head hung down in the middle of the stage facing the back. He stood there for a moment as the music started (Prince--When Doves Cry) and then turned around.

"Snnaaarrk, gaasssp, gag, choke!!" Nikita's vodka tonic went up her nose and Gail's rum and coke landed in her lap.

"OH MY GOD!!! IT'S BIRKHOFF!!!"

Madeline smirked at the two stunned operatives. "Of course it is. He fits the profile of a newbie. Who did you think it was going to be? Michael??"

They wiped their streaming eyes. "Oh my god, look at him."

Birkhoff was attempting to gyrate in the middle of the stage. *I'm going to kill Madeline for this, I've never been so embarrassed in my life.*

He spotted Nikita and Gail sitting there with mouths agape, stunned into silence. For a moment he saw the humor of it all *Never thought I'd see those two at a loss for words*

*Ok, Birkhoff keep going. This will be over in a few minutes. Now what was it Michael said? Find someone in the audience and connect with them, it'll be easier?*

He moved over towards their table and started to undo his shirt. He looked at Nikita who was laughing so hard, she couldn't even look at him. Madeline was out of the question, that would be like stripping for his mother. *I know... Gail*

Birkhoff shrugged over his shirt and flung it into her lap. Gail was just sitting there openmouthed, completely off balance. The mission was the last thing on her mind. He moved around the back of their table and leaning over did a couple of bumps and grinds against her chair. Nikita was about under the table at this point, even Madeline was laughing. The rest of the bar was just screaming.

Team three across the bar couldn' t resist and yelled "Shake that thang baybeee.."

He decided that things couldn't possibly get any more mortifying than they already were and thought *ah what the hell, I'm just going to go for it." Jumping back up onto the stage, he closed his eyes for a second and proceeded to let loose. The music was blasting and the women were yelling for him to take it all off so he did. It was actually easier than he though it'd be.

The rippable pants were just that. He even went up to the target and let her pull off the big banana g string he had on, letting her stuff some money into the smaller one. She ran her nails down his chest and smiled at him, making him blush. She really seemed to like that and he could hear Michael say into the comset.

"Good job Birkhoff, I think we've got her."

At last the music came to an end and he was able to escape into the dressing room. Michael, who had posed as his manager, was leaning against the wall waiting for him. "Get ready, she's on the way back here already."

One of the other dancers grinned at him on the way out the door. "Have fun buddy. She's a wild one."

As Birkhoff vanished behind the curtain, Madeline attempted to restore order to her team. "Ok, the fun's over. Let's go retrieve the target. She's heading backstage right now."

Michael stopped Ms. Deering at the dressing room door. "You can't go back there, my client's getting dressed."

She stuffed a couple of bills into his hand. "Here! This will make up for any incovenience, I want to borrow him for a while," and went into the dressing room.

Nikita, Gail and Madeline moved through the crowd and found Michael waiting for them. "Give him a couple of minutes, she just got here and I don't want her making any noise when we take her down."

Just then, they heard a muffled yelp from the dressing room. "Ok, that should do it."

They moved into the room and found Birkhoff pinned into a corner by the amorous target who was attempting to fondle him. She didn't even notice them come in. As they carried her out to the van, Operations was waiting.

"Any problems?"

"None at all. We have closure." replied Madeline.

The End.

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