PART ONE

The bell over the door jangled lazily in deference to the sultry summer day outside. A woman walked in, turned, and quietly closed the door behind her. She was dressed in a flowered print sundress and a pair of flat sandals. A summer hat sat jauntily atop her auburn-colored curls. Gazing about to room, she noticed both a South Korean flag and an American flag prominently displayed along one wall. She placed her feet together, her arms rigidly by her sides, and executed a deep bow of respect toward the flags.

Michael stood at the railing of the loft overlooking the dojang floor. He remained motionless with his hands folded in front of him. He had been awakened by the unusual sound of the bell clanging at this time of the afternoon. He had not realized that he had drifted off, he had intended to rest only for a moment as he had a few tasks left to accomplish before the kids showed up for kids class later this afternoon. He watched as the young woman calmly surveyed her surroundings. The woman’s aura wafted up and encircled Michael as if it were an old friend.

Michael cleared his throat as the woman’s eyes lifted to meet his gaze. He was mildly surprised to find her eyes were of the same changeable hue as his own. He mentally shook himself as he turned to descend the stairs. At the foot of the stairs he paused to slide his feet into a well-worn pair of flip flops. Michael sensed a feeling of inner peace as he approached the stranger. If asked later, Michael would not have been able to explain the sensation, but it were as if he knew the woman from somewhere. A kindred spirit perhaps? Michael bowed deeply, and when he arose, his eyes were automatically drawn to hers.

“Good afternoon, Miss. Can I help you with something?” Michael’s voice was quiet and serene.

The woman’s eyes drifted around the room once again, taking in the airy hardwood floor, the hanging bag, unmoving, as if it too were too lazy this afternoon to do much. She closed her eyes momentarily as her mind’s eye pictured the many hours of training that had taken place in this very dojang. The musty odor of old sweat, lineament, and the faint tinge of blood, assaulted her nose, and she breathed deeply, allowing the old feelings to wash over her soul.

Michael watched her, carefully and quietly, for he sensed that something special, a catharsis perhaps, was happening for this woman. She turned back to Michael, her face aglow from the sunshine streaming in from a nearby window.

“Hi. My name is Alex. I’m new in town, and I have been searching for a traditional taekwondo dojang to train in. I understand that you have the best school for miles around.”

Michael chuckled lightly. “If you are looking for a traditional taekwondo dojang, then this is the only one within a fifty mile radius. I do appreciate the compliment though, since there are other martial arts studios in the area.”

There was a slight pause before Michael remembered his manners. “Please, come into the office. We can chat in there.”

Alex nodded and bent to unstrap her sandals. Michael touched her lightly on the shoulder. “Please don’t worry about that. It’s OK to leave your sandals on.”

The woman shook her head at Michael. “No, thank you. Traditional schools require traditional rules. I would not stoop so low as to break them, Mr. Samuelle.” She then returned to her task.

Michael was somewhat surprised at both her demeanor and her words. ‘She already knows my name,’ Michael thought. ‘I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing.’

***************

PART TWO

Before Michael knew it, the two hours he had before the children arrived for class, had disappeared. He did not however, begrudge the time as wasted, for he had learned a great deal this afternoon, about Alex, about life, about himself.

Alex was an intriguing woman, especially to a man as complex as Michael Samuelle. She was almost as enigmatic as he was. She was extremely intelligent and extremely talented. Yet, Michael sensed a profound sadness which emanated from her. For some strange reason, Michael had an aching need to understand that sadness. As the children began arriving for class, Alex was pleased to note that Michael’s focus unobtrusively shifted from her to the children. She smiled slightly, which refocused his attention on her.

“Mr. Samuelle, would it be all right with you if I stuck around to observe your children’s class? I enjoy working with children myself and I can sense that you are the same.”

Michael smiled and nodded. “I never have a problem with people who wish to observe. I find observation to be a good way to judge a person. Please, feel free to walk around and look at things.” Michael got up from his chair and escorted Alex to the door. On impulse, he grasped her elbow and stopped her forward momentum before she exited the office. Michael’s voice barely rose above a whisper. “One of my black belts will be here after kids class to teach one of our later classes. I would be delighted to answer any further questions and continue our discussion over dinner.”

Alex hesitated momentarily before giving her affirmation. She didn’t quite understand it, but she felt comfortable with Michael Samuelle. She felt comfortable here in this dojang. It were as if she were home. She did not want to lose that feeling. Michael smiled and allowed Alex to precede him out of the office door. He watched her move across the dojang floor and bow to the flags again as she reached the carpeted area on the other side. Michael’s curiosity was beginning to get the better of him, but he knew better than to push his luck.

Michael was snapped out of his contemplation when he was swarmed over by about ten of his students. He had a hug for all of them, then he set about his business for the afternoon.

“OK. OK you guys. Those of you who have homework, get busy! You know you cannot join the workout until your homework is complete. Those who don’t have any homework left, practice basics and forms.”

Children began to scurry to their assigned areas. Five of the children began practicing their basic kicks and punches, while the younger children set about finishing their homework. Michael observed all, carefully correcting both schoolwork and taekwondo techniques. An older boy walked in and began practicing with the others. Michael noticed his entrance and waited until he had bowed to begin working on his forms. Michael then cleared his throat. “ Lance?”

The boy turned and asked, “Yes sir?”

“Have you forgotten something?” Michael’s voice had become a tad sterner.

Lance rolled his eyes and then ran over to his bookbag that he had tossed to the side when he came in. He removed a folder and brought it over to Michael Samuelle. Michael leafed through the papers inside, frowning at some, smiling at others. Alex was fascinated with the play of emotions which crossed Michael’s face “Well Lance, your grades seem to be improving. I am proud of you for that. However, I am not impressed with your conduct grade this week. You owe me fifty pushups for that. Now, show me your homework assignments completed for today.”

Lance flushed brightly. He began stammering. “Ummm... Uhhh.”

Michael chuckled softly. “Haven’t finished it, have you? When will you ever learn boy? I can always tell when you are lying to me. You know better than to begin practicing without finishing your homework. Now, get over there and finish your math, then instead of the workout you have to polish trophies for your punishment.” As Lance began to walk off, Michael stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. His voice was barely above a whisper. Alex only heard his comment because she was standing close by. “ You know Lance, if you don’t get some serious practice time, you are not going to be ready for belt testing in a couple of weeks. You have a lot left to learn before you can test. The only person standing in your way is you.”

Lance looked up at Michael, his face rather pale. The message had evidently sunk in. Lance gulped and nodded. “Yes Sir. I understand?” Lance meekly went to the table to complete his homework assignments.

Michael turned to survey the students who were practicing diligently. Within a few moments, Michael felt a small tug on the end of his belt. Looking down he saw Patience, a 5-year-old yellow belt standing next to him. She was holding up a worksheet of the letter K for Michael’s inspection. He smiled down at her and told her to wait a moment. Michael called to an older girl. a purple belt. Tori ran over quickly and executed a bow of respect.

“Yes Sir?” Michael returned the bow and instructed Tori to take Patience and teach her Kibon Three, one of the yellow belt patterns. As the two girls turned to practice as told, Michael’s voice stopped their movement. “Before you go Tori, show me Kibon Three.”

“Yes Sir,” answered Tori and she proceeded to perform the pattern for Michael. At Michael’s command of “Geuman”, Tori returned to her starting position and turned to Michael, bowing once again. “Good Tori. Return to your assignment.”

Alex wandered around the classroom and the waiting room, ostensibly looking at pictures and plaques hanging around the rooms. In reality, she was very much observant of the activities of the actual class. She had learned long ago that one of the best characteristics of a great martial arts instructor was to observe their interaction with their children. These children obviously loved Michael Samuelle as well as respected him.

Alex was happy to note that the respect was well-earned, not out of fear. A definite plus in her book, for both the school and the man.

***************

PART THREE

Alex observed the hour-long class with interest. She noted that the children worked hard to earn the praise of Master Samuelle. And when patterns and basics were performed correctly, Master Samuelle gave praise, not in a lavish or overt way, but a simple smile for each student sufficed. Toward the end of the class, Michael went into his office and returned with a large rubber ball. The kids continued to work on what they had been told to practice, but attention began to stray toward the ball Michael had begun to bounce in front of him. Alex knew that play time had come to the dojang. She just wondered how long Michael would torture the kids before he allowed them to play.

Michael glanced toward Alex and his eyes twinkled with a glimmer of merriment. He knew exactly what he was doing to those children. It was one of the ultimate tests of patience, especially for kids. Would they falter in their workout? Would they let their concentration wander toward the ball bouncing nonchalantly off of the wooden floor?

Just how long would it take before the first kid broke? Alex returned Michael’s smile and leaned against a wall to watch.

It did not take very long. It started with the younger kids and started a ripple effect through the ranks. The older kids and higher ranks tried valiantly to hold their concentration on what they had been instructed to do. As the younger children began to stray closer and closer to Michael, Alex watched beads of sweat literally pop out on the foreheads of some of the higher ranks. It was not long before they too stopped their feeble attempts at a workout and turned to face Michael who still nonchalantly bounced the large rubber ball. Suddenly, the ball sailed through the air and bounced off of the chest of the oldest and largest boy. Laughter rang out as Michael’s voice boomed quietly, “Tag.”

Alex’s eyes lit up as she watched the game progress. It did not take her long to understand the rules of the game. Each of the students knew that it would be extremely easy to hit each other with the ball. Their focus began to narrow on hitting Michael Samuelle. As long as you dodged getting hit or captured the ball yourself, you could control the flow of the game. Alex watched as Michael dodged and darted, grabbed and threw the ball.

The younger children began dropping out of the game as they were easy targets. Before long it was Michael Samuelle against the three oldest children in the dojang. Alex watched the children’s eyes light up as they attempted to corner Michael. Just as they thought they had him, Michael snatched the ball out of the air, spun around and had all three children caught in the same exact corner. Michael promptly threw the ball with sufficient force that it bounced off the chest of the largest boy and bounced right back to him. He smiled laconically as the boy’s face dropped and he moved away to sit with the other children. Michael’s eyes twinkled as he looked at the two remaining participants.

Alex chuckled as she watched both of them gulp visibly and stare at each other. Which one was going to be next?

Michael smiled and bounced the ball lazily in front of him. He noticed Alex watching him and he turned to smile at her. Michael stepped quickly to his left and before the children could react, calmly skipped the ball across both of their heads. Alex laughed to herself at the shocked look on the faces of the children. Before they could even figure out what had happened, Michael called for lineup and dismissed the children until the next day.

*************

PART FOUR

Michael stood at the door of the dojang speaking to parents as the children prepared to leave. He liked to keep track of what his students were doing, be it at home or at school. Michael was acutely aware that Alex was still in the room. He could not explain it, but her mere presence was enough to distract him. It had not really bothered him while class was going on, but Michael knew that was because he was wrapped up in his work.

But now, Michael was actually having to concentrate on paying attention to what the parents were saying. Michael could not explain it, it was very disconcerting. After saying goodbye to the children and greeting a few students who had wandered in for the next class, Michael signaled Alex that he would be with her in a few minutes. Alex nodded her acknowledgment and Michael entered his office to converse with a student. Alex watched the office out of the corner of her eye. She could tell that it was not a casual conversation. Michael’s body language told her the conversation was confrontational.

The confrontation went on for several minutes. The student’s voice began to rise in volume. Michael’s voice, however, never rose. The only outward sign that he was getting agitated was the way his nostrils flared. Alex admired Michael’s control. By the time the student had stormed out of Michael’s office, grabbed his bag and left, everyone in the school had focused their attention on Michael standing in his office. Alex watched Michael take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of his nose before he drew himself to his full height and back under control. Michael squared his shoulders and walked out of his office.

Everyone quickly turned and continued their warm-up. They all knew better than to stare at Michael at this time. Alex watched as Michael went about his business as if the incident had never happened. She could tell, however, that Michael was still furious. Michael took one of the black belts aside and gave his instructions for the next class.

When the young man, named Steven, bowed in respect, Michael turned and grabbed an old beat-up pair of martial arts shoes. He then walked to the edge of the wooden floor and bent to place his shoes on his feet. Michael then turned to Alex and smiled. “Would you like to take a walk with me?”

Alex nodded. She was mesmerized by the self-assuredness that Michael had. She knew he was still seething. She also realized that this walk they were going on was going to be Michael’s way of coping with the anger that he was feeling at the moment. She just hoped that she would be able to keep up.

*****************

PART FIVE

Alex preceded Michael out of the door to the dojang. She was pleased to note that the sun was beginning to set. It was still as warm as it had been earlier but a nice breeze was blowing, which made the heat a little more pleasant. She watched Michael carefully as he stood there and took a deep breath. She sensed that he was still trying to keep his anger under a tight rein. Alex chose to remain silent, allowing Michael to gather himself.

They turned and began to walk northward. The silence between them was amiable. Both enjoyed the slight breeze which stirred the warm air around them. As they walked, the aroma from a local delicatessen wafted through the air. Alex took a deep breath, inhaling the aroma. She loved the smell that assaulted her senses. Michael smiled at her.

“Are you hungry, Alex?” Alex smiled shyly at Michael. “I am getting there, but I am OK for now.” Michael smiled once more. “lets turn this way and walk back.” He took Alex’s arm and turned a corner. At the next corner, Michael turned again and they began walking back up the street.

Before long they had reached the back side of the dojang. Michael peered in at one of the windows, assuring himself that things were going well with the class. He then led the way up a back flight of stairs which opened into the loft that he lived in. Alex followed Michael’s example and removed her sandals at the door to the apartment. Alex wandered over to the loft balcony to look down on the taekwondo class as Michael moved to the kitchen area and began to prepare their dinner. Alex began to lose herself in watching the class. Memories began to flood her brain. It was all so very familiar. She really liked this dojang. She liked the way things were run. She liked the formalities. She felt at peace here. Something she had not felt in quite some time.

Michael broke into Alex’s thoughts when he touched her shoulder. She turned to him and he offered her a glass of red wine. She gratefully accepted and then followed him into the kitchen area to help with dinner preparations. Alex began peeling and chopping carrots to add to the chicken stir fry that Michael was making. She then went on to run some warm water in order to clean some fresh mushrooms for the stir-fry. The two worked in silence, breaking it only to ask each other to pass something or where something was.

Finally, while they waited for the lo mein noodles to finish cooking, Michael began to speak. “I wanted to thank you for understanding my need for silence while we were walking outside a while ago. I needed to clear my head and refocus myself. I was happy to have someone walking with me, but even happier that you did not feel a need to converse. I don’t know much about you Alex, but I get the feeling that you understand me better than anyone has in a very long time.”

Alex smiled and took a small sip of her wine. Swallowing, she then licked the excess moisture from her lips. “I do understand you Mr. Samuelle. I understand far more than you think. How about I tell you a little about myself as we eat? Would you like that?” At Michael’s nod, they turned and served themselves each a plate of stir-fry.

***************

PART SIX

Alex and Michael sat at a low table on the tatami mats which covered the floor. They ate in silence for a while. Michael was extremely curious to learn about Alex, but he did not want to push. If he began questioning her, Michael feared she would flee. Michael was intrigued, something he had not experienced in quite a while.

Alex’s mind was whirling. What was she willing to share about herself? With a man she had just met today? Would Michael be able to handle what she had to say? So much had been relegated to the deep recesses of her mind. She had not thought about some of it in a very long time. She was not sure that the tight rein she had held on her emotions in the recent past would not shatter like a pane glass window.

Michael watched Alex through shuttered lashes. He watched the different emotions play across her face. He could feel the tension in the air as he watched the battle taking place within Alex. He wanted to reach out to her. He wanted to reassure her, but he was afraid to. He did not want to scare her off.

Alex took a deep breath, and opened her eyes. Her eyes connected momentarily with Michael’s gray-green ones, allowing him a brief glimpse of the turmoil that raged within her. She then focused on a point above Michael’s head before she began to speak. “I don’t know how much of this you want to know. I doubt you will be able to understand much of it. But I am willing to try if you are willing to listen.”

Michael stayed very still as Alex’s eyes reconnected with his. He let his eyes express the concern he had for her rather than expressing himself in words. He feared that if he spoke, she would change her mind. As Alex’s eyes wandered again, Michael took a deep breath and steeled himself for whatever might come.

Alex seemed to zone out for a while before she began to speak again. As long as she could remain detached she felt she might be able to continue. Her family knew part of her history, but she had always remained stoic around them. Some of this she had never shared with anyone. Somehow, she felt Michael Samuelle would understand better than anyone else in the world.

When Alex reopened her eyes, she seemed to be more focused. But Michael knew that she was in another place and another time. He didn’t know what type of reaction he would have to whatever she had to share, but he willed himself to keep a blank face so that she could not read his reaction.

“I met Geoff and Paige when I was seventeen years old. They were only about eight years older than I was, but they just seemed to know so much more than I did. Maybe I was just naive.... I know I was naive.” Alex smiled tremulously, then continued.

“They started out as my taekwondo instructors fifteen years ago. But the relationship grew so far beyond just instructors and student. We became best friends and were practically inseparable. Within three years I had risen through the ranks and become a black belt. The three of us trained together and we went on to compete at both a national and international level.” Alex paused and took a sip of her wine. Her throat had become parched, and she took the time to study Michael’s face. She saw nothing that would cause her to stop, so she continued.

“About eight years ago, Paige decided to take herself off of the fighting circuit because she and Geoff were going to try to conceive. It took a while, but they were successful, and they had a beautiful baby boy who they named Jakob. Then three years later they were surprised to find that they were expecting again. This time they had a baby girl, who they named Hana. Then, three years ago, when Hana was two years old, something terrible happened. Geoff and Paige had left Hana with me at their apartment, while they brought Jakob for his first day of kindergarten.” She smiled slightly.

“He was so very excited about going to school like the big kids from the taekwondo school. He couldn’t wait to show his new teacher all the things he knew already, like Kibon one and two and all of his kicks and punches. He was very gung ho about being able to learn how to read and write. At the apartment, Hana was still sleeping, so I decided to turn on the TV and check the weather. When I turned on the TV there was a newsbreak about a train derailment as a result of a train-car wreck. Before I realized what was happening, the camera crew showed a live shot of the car involved. It was still on fire, but there was no mistaking the Mickey Mouse backpack that was leaning against the back window of the car. In that instant I knew the three of them were gone.” Alex stopped talking and her body was wracked with the sobs that welled up within her but she refused to release.

Michael watched Alex carefully. He knew she was in so much pain. He wasn’t quite sure what to do, but he felt her anguish so deeply inside of himself. He knew that it was good for Alex to be talking about what hurt her. It was a good form of release. But Michael knew that the best form of release for her would be to cry. He was willing to bet that she had not shed tears over the death of her ‘family’. That was not the way to go through life. Michael had learned that the hard way. He decided to make a move. If it were the wrong move, then Alex would bolt and Michael would chalk it up to just another way that he had screwed up in his life. If it was not the wrong move, then he could help Alex to heal.

Michael quietly moved around the low table and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. Alex flinched when she felt Michael’s hand touch her. She wanted to run, but her heart would not allow her to this time, unlike the other times in her past when it had betrayed her and caused her to flee. Her eyes refocused in the present and she turned to face Michael.

When she saw the sympathy and understanding shining brightly through the unshed tears in Michael’s eyes, Alex could not hold back the floodgates any longer. She burst into tears and fell helplessly into Michael’s arms. Michael held her tightly and rocked slowly back and forth, allowing her tears to soak his shirt. He didn’t know what he was saying, but his voice seemed to soothe her, so he continued to talk. Alex attempted to pull away from him, but Michael would not allow it.

“Michael,” she whispered. “There is so much more.”

Michael just held her tightly. “Sssh...no more tonight. There will be more time to share more. Let yourself cry Alex, it wont hurt you. It can only help. Deal with this, then you can continue later. You need this. There is always tomorrow.”

***************

PART SEVEN

Michael walked quietly around the loft. Alex had cried herself to sleep, and Michael had held her for a long time before he placed her on the couch and covered her with a blanket. He set a pot of jasmine tea to steep and then moved toward the wall phone in the kitchen area. Dialing up the local inn, he asked to speak with the manager. When James Walters got on the phone, Michael spoke to him for a few minutes about his son Jordan who was a high ranking student at the taekwondo school. Michael then asked James if he would have his wife enter Alex’s room at the inn and pack whatever Alex had managed to unpack earlier that afternoon. He explained that Alex was not feeling well and that he was planning to look after her for the night. Michael figured she would like to have her things with her. James commented that it was rather unusual for them to do that sort of thing but he fully understood if the young woman was not feeling well enough to come and get her things herself. When Michael said that he would be over in about an hour to pick up Alex’s things, James told him not to bother, he would send Jordan over with them. Jordan was sixteen and had recently gotten his drivers license. He definitely would not mind getting to drive the family car. Michael thanked James and hung up the phone.

Neither Michael nor Alex had eaten much of their dinner, so wrapped up had they been in their conversation. Michael took a loaf of French bread and cut it open, buttering both sides of the bread. He then sliced some Parmesan cheese into thin slices and placed them along the length of the bread. Taking the entire loaf, he placed it on a baking sheet and put it in the oven to toast. He then cut some pruschutto into thin slices and placed them in a frying pan to warm.

Michael’s mind began to wander as he waited for the food to heat. Alex had shared more of her story with him between the fits of sobbing. He was not quite sure he understood it all but he was beginning to. He had listened intently, not asking questions, just allowing Alex to vent all of her feelings. It seemed that she had inherited the taekwondo school after Geoff, Paige and Jakob had perished. She had also inherited the care of young Hana. Things had not been easy for her and Hana. First, Alex had been forced to deal with a fierce custody battle over Hana. Geoff’s parents wanted to take her and raise Hana themselves. Alex pointed out the fact that they barely knew the girl, and had not had any contact with their son since he had called them to inform them of the birth of his daughter. Even after being portrayed as ‘scum of the earth’ by the grandparents’ lawyer, the judge sided with Alex and followed the wishes of Geoff and Paige.

Shortly after the verdict in the custody case, Alex had returned to work at the taekwondo school. She had felt that she needed to stay busy and she was tired of having someone else run the school for her. She needed to have control herself. The black belts had kept the school afloat while Alex had been caught up in the custody trial, but now it was time to return to her roots. Alex rented out the space above the taekwondo school and turned it into an apartment for herself and Hana.

Just over a month after she had completed the renovations to the apartment, Alex had been awakened by a strange noise. When she went downstairs to check the doors once more, to make sure they were secure, she was attacked from behind. She fought, desperately, but there were too many. She counted five men before she blacked out from a blow to the head. When she came to, the school was engulfed in flames and Alex barely got upstairs to rescue Hana. They escaped down the back stairs of the building.

That was the story Alex had managed to share with Michael before her exhaustion overtook her. Michael knew there had to be more of the story. He was certain that she would share more of her story with him when she awakened. She was getting more comfortable around him. Michael was glad of it. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Alex. He knew that it would be painful for her to share her memories, but it would help heal the pain if she addressed it. Michael was glad to serve as her sounding board. He didn’t understand why she felt safe with him, especially after such a short period of time. But he did know that there was something between them. Something that he hoped to explore in more detail, when the time was right.

Michael was snapped out of his reverie when he heard a soft knocking on his back door. He opened it to see young Jordan with a small overnight bag and a knapsack. When Michael looked questioningly at the things in his possession, Jordan just shrugged and told him his father had given him the things to deliver. Michael thanked Jordan as he picked up the bags. He handed Jordan an envelope to return to his father. Michael knew that James was not expecting payment but Michael felt it necessary. When Jordan turned to leave, Michael stopped him and handed the young boy a twenty. Winking at Jordan, Michael turned and closed the door to the loft.

Michael took Alex’s things and put them in his spare bedroom. He returned to the kitchen, took the food off the stove and out of the oven. He poured himself a cup of the steeped jasmine tea and returned to the couch to watch over Alex as she slept.

***************

PART EIGHT

Michael sat for what must have been hours, watching Alex as she slept. Her demeanor was so peaceful in sleep. That is, unless she was tormented by her nightmares. Michael watched her as her body would visibly shake and she would mumble in her sleep. Then her face would become placid again as the memories drifted away from her.

Michael knew quite well what it was to face demons in his sleep. He had lived with his own demons for decades. It was only in the past few months that he had enjoyed any peaceful nights rest without waking soaked with his own sweat.

But Michael was determined, all of that was in his past, and there it would stay. He gathered his thoughts about him. What could he do to help ease Alex’s pain? Not much, he concluded. When you were in as much pain as Alex was, no person could alleviate your pain. It was something you had to deal with yourself. The best Michael could do to help her was to be there. Sometimes just having someone to confide in and share your deepest darkest secrets with, could be very helpful. Michael wanted to be that person Alex chose to confide in. He just wished he could share some of his secrets with her.

Finally, Michael drifted off to sleep with his head resting against his arm on the back of the couch. He had arranged himself so that he was sitting against the arm of the couch and had adjusted Alex’s legs so that they rested in his lap.

Alex woke up. She did not know how long she had been asleep. She was not even quite sure where she was. In the past few months she had gotten used to waking up in strange places. Usually it was in hotel rooms or even shelters, but this time she was in neither. It suddenly came rushing back to her where she was, and she began to move around. That was when she realized she was not alone.

Alex sat up quickly and attempted to pull her feet under her. But Michael would not allow that. He held her feet where they were and Alex whipped her head around to look at him. Michael saw the fear in her eyes, and his hands massaged her feet, attempting to calm her fears. As he did this, Michael’s head never lifted from the back of the couch. He fought the urge to move quickly. He was not exactly sure which world Alex had awakened in , if she were here with him now or caught up in her past somewhere. When Alex pulled her feet again, Michael gently let her go. He knew he couldn’t hold her where she was. Not if she didn’t want to be there.

***************

PART NINE

Alex sat on her knees facing Michael. She was breathing heavily and had a feral look in her eyes. Michael sat very still and watched Alex’s face. It took a full minute for Alex to comprehend who was sitting at the other end of the couch and that he posed no threat to her. Michael began to breathe again as Alex visibly relaxed.

“I’m sss.sorry Michael. “ Alex stuttered.

Michael smiled gently at Alex. He too remembered how often he woke, ready to fight his demons, only to find nothing to fight. Michael could tell that Alex was still frightened and still upset. He reached out across the couch and extended a hand to Alex. Michael held his breath as he waited.

Alex’s breath caught in her throat and her heart was pounding a staccato against her chest. It felt as if her heart were trying to escape. What did the hand extended mean? Was it a sign of friendship? Was it a sign of more? What was Michael after? Could she trust him? Should she? She had experienced so much pain in the recent past. She so desperately wanted to lean on someone else for a change. She was tired of being the strong one. Didn’t she deserve something better?

Michael remained still while he watched the play of emotions cross Alex’s face. He stayed in the same position so long that his arm began to ache from being suspended in mid-air. But Michael didn’t dare pull it back. He did not know what had compelled him to reach out his hand. He really didn’t understand it. But he knew that this could be a major step between the two of them. They had just met. Mentally he knew that this attraction he had toward Alex made no sense. He just knew that it felt right.

Alex was panicking. She didn’t know what Michael expected of her. But she was so lonely. She was tired of traveling around. As if she were a vagabond. She wanted to find a nice town, with a good taekwondo school, where she could settle down. She wanted to find a nice guy, one she could depend on to be there for her when she needed him. One who could trust her to be there too. It had been a long time since anyone had trusted her to stay in one place for an extended period of time. But then again, she had brought that upon herself. She needed this. She wanted whatever Michael was willing to give at this point.

She tentatively reached a hand out toward Michael’s extended one. Her fingertips touched his. Michael made no move. He was allowing her the freedom to decide. Alex appreciated that. Her fingers slid down to Michael’s palm. There she found warmth emanating from it. A warmth she had not felt in such a long time.

As Alex’s fingertips met his, Michael closed his eyes. He wanted to allow her to make up her own mind where this was going. He was afraid that if his eyes remained open, then shoe would be able to read into his heart and even his soul. He did not want to move suddenly. He did not want to spook her, or sway her decision in any way. But, when her fingers slightly abraded his palm, Michael just couldn’t help himself. Keeping his eyes closed, he turned his palm so that it was facing Alex. Michael’s heart leapt for joy when Alex moved her hand up to entwine her fingers with his.

Still, Michael did not want to move too quickly. His eyes opened to reveal that his irises had changed to a deep shade of green, but he did not move another muscle. He desperately wanted her, but he was determined to let her set the pace. If she chose to leave this at a friendship level, he would live with it.

Alex smiled. She understood what Michael was doing. She knew that he was letting her move at her own pace. She wasn’t sure about this. She wasn’t sure about anything at this point. She just knew that she wanted this. Still holding tightly to Michael’s hand, she leaned close to Michael and caressed Michael’s cheek with her other palm. Before she knew it, her lips were touching Michael’s, in the sweetest caress either had felt in a very long time.

***************

PART TEN

Michael lost himself in that kiss, never pushing it, just allowing Alex the freedom to explore. His mind was whirling, telling him that this was not right. They were both taking advantage of a situation. He should stop this. But, Michael’s body was betraying him. This felt right. Like they were two interconnecting pieces of the same puzzle.

What was she doing? What was she thinking? Her body had betrayed her mind. Her body was taking over in a situation where she desperately needed to think. It had been so long for her. Her body was throbbing with desire. She wanted Michael so badly.

Michael was willing his body to remain calm. No sense in embarrassing himself in Alex’s presence. It had been a very long time since he had been with a woman, and his body was reacting in some rather obvious ways.

Just as Alex felt her body melting into the kiss, submitting to its own will, her mind began to reel again. She should stop this. No matter what her body wanted, her mind knew that it was not right. Michael was definitely hot and definitely a number one candidate to assuage the feelings in her body, but this was not the way to go about getting what her body was craving. If she let this continue, it would not be worth anything to her. And, she would not be worth anything to Michael.

Alex began to pull out of the kiss. Her body was feeling bereft of the sustenance it so craved. She caressed Michael’s face once more and placed her head on his chest, against his pounding heart. She did not want to pull away from him completely. She still craved contact with him. She also did not want Michael to feel as if he had done something wrong. In fact, he had done something very right. He had allowed her to make the decision. She could not run from him, like she had with so many men in her past. He had not given her any reason to run.

Michael’s senses were reeling. His body and mind were throbbing, his heart pounding. He willed his body to control itself, using some of his martial arts training to slow his breathing and in turn his heart rate. Michael’s eyes remained closed. He could feel the warmth of her head lying against his chest. His hand rose to stroke her hair.

Michael felt a flutter against his chest as Alex attempted to speak. “Thank you, Michael. Thank you for being patient, and for not pushing. There is so much more I have to tell you.”

Michael’s hand was mesmerizing as it stroked up and down through Alex’s thick hair. At her last words, Michael’s hand stilled. Alex could feel his voice rumbling under her ear. “Ssssshh... no more tonight, Alex. You’ve been through enough for one night. We can talk some more tomorrow. Sleep now. I will watch over you. Nothing to fear.”

Alex closed her eyes, a single tear escaping to soak through Michael’s shirt. She drifted off to sleep, secure in the knowledge that she was safe, at least for tonight.

***************

PART ELEVEN

Alex awakened again a few hours later, this time safe in the knowledge of where she was. She stretched out sore and tired muscles and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Yawning expansively, she looked around the loft to see where Michael was. He was nowhere to be found.

Alex walked to the back part of the apartment and found the bathroom. After using the facilities, she looked into an open doorway and saw a bedroom. At the foot of the bed she saw her belongings. She wondered how in the world Michael had managed to get her things. Not finding Michael in the room, Alex walked farther down the hallway to what would be the master bedroom. Noting that the door was open, she poked her head in confident that Michael would have closed the door if he were dressing or something.

Alex did not find Michael in the room but she noted that the room was sparsely furnished. a large comfortable-looking futon lay on the floor with hunter green satin sheets on it. She also noted that Michael had a rather extensive collection of swords displayed around his bedroom. One day they would have to compare their collections. Turning around she walked back to the front of the loft.

Hearing movement on the floor below, Alex walked over to the top of the stairs. She sat on the top step and began to watch. Michael was downstairs, working up a sweat, alone. Alex watched as Michael moved smoothly through the motions of one of the mid-level black belt forms. His uniform snapped and popped as each new motion was executed. By the time he had finished the form he was drenched in sweat. Michael returned to his starting position and began the next form in the series.

Alex hung her head in shame. She knew she had brought this on. She had pushed Michael too far. It was a bad habit she had. In the last few years she had gone out of her way to lead men on and then back off when the time came. She didn’t understand why she did it, but relationships tended to make her run. She had done the sane thing to Michael last night, boldly kissing him, and then not following through. When would she ever learn?

Michael had felt a difference as soon as Alex had awakened. It was as if she were a part of him. He sensed when she had sat on the stairs to watch. He had tried so hard not to let her break his concentration. But when Alex’s head had dropped and the tears had begun to flow, Michael could no longer concentrate. He berated himself for allowing her to affect his training in this way, but there was nothing he could do to counteract it. He sensed and felt everything that Alex was feeling. He knew that Alex blamed herself, for everything. But Michael also knew that she had done nothing wrong. This was just his way of working out his own problems.

Michael continued to work out fiercely. He wanted to focus on his techniques and his training. But by the time he finished the third form, Alex’s head had still not raised. He began to worry about her, and that totally blew his concentration. Michael moved carefully toward the stairs, walking quietly up until he was only about two levels down from Alex. He sat down and his hand automatically went to Alex’s bended head, stroking her hair.

Michael bent his head slightly to see if he could make eye contact with Alex. He could not, however, because Alex had her eyes tightly closed. Michael felt Alex begin to tremble beneath his hand. He called her name softly, with no response. Again, he called her name, still no response. After a third attempt at getting Alex’s attention, with no response, Michael rose from the stairs and bent down, lifting Alex as if she were a rag doll. He walked over to the couch and sat, holding Alex in his arms. He rocked back and forth as Alex finally responded, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face against his shoulder. Great, wracking sobs were finally drawn forth from Alex. Michael’s quiet voice worked as a soothing balm on her badly frayed nerves.

“Ssssh...Alex. Ssssh!! Its OK. Its OK to cry. Ssssh, don’t be afraid. I’m here with you, and I am not going anywhere. I do understand Alex. I do. None of this is your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. And contrary to whet you might think, I am not going to let you push me away.” Michael’s voice rang true with the conviction of his words.

Alex was raised from her stupor at Michael’s last words. She sat up, rubbed her face with the backs of her hands, and faced Michael. “Oh Michael! I don't want to push you away. Really, I don’t. It just seems to happen. I don’t ever mean it to.”

Michael closed his eyes and then pulled Alex in close enough to rest his forehead against hers. After taking a deep breath to control his emotions, he reopened his eyes and locked them with Alex’s, daring her to break the connection. “Alex, I don’t believe that good people ever really push people away on purpose. You have had a rough time lately. You have lost a lot in your life. You have been given too many responsibilities too quickly. You have not had time to adjust to your loss or your responsibilities. You need time to heal. I understand that. Better than you think.”

Alex took a deep breath and stared into Michael’s eyes. She saw concern and the dawning of love in those gray-green orbs shining back at her. She knew he was the only one who could help her through this dark period in her life. He seemed to want to help. “I know I need to heal Michael. I want so badly to heal.” What she couldn’t find the words to say was that she couldn’t do it by herself. She needed help if she was going to heal.

Michael, always intuitive, took Alex’s trembling hands between his strong ones. “Alex, I have been through many hardships in my life. You could never understand some of the things I have been through. But if you need someone to help, I will be there. If you need someone to hold you while you cry, I’ll be there. If you need someone to yell and scream at or even to spar with, I’ll be there. Whatever you need Alex.”

This time, it was Michael who took Alex’s mouth in a kiss. The kiss was tender, sweet and provocative. Michael was allowing all of his emotions to pour out in that kiss. Alex was melting under his charms. This time, Michael would not allow Alex to back away from him. He knew that she needed this as desperately as he did, and he was going to help her heal, whether she wanted that help or not.

***************

PART TWELVE

Michael’s lips began to explore Alex. They fluttered across her cheek and then up to caress her closed eyelids. Alex could feel Michael’s breath lift the wisps of her hair as his mouth moved across her forehead. Her breath caught in her throat as Michael’s lips captured an ear lobe between them and he ran his tongue across the edge of it.

The assault on Alex’s senses was almost overwhelming. It had been such a long time since she had been with a man. Her body was reacting to Michael in ways that she could not control. Her hands, without any guidance from her brain, wrapped themselves in Michael’s silky auburn hair. Being a very tactile person, she could feel every texture and nuance in the strands of his hair.

Michael felt Alex begin to relax in his arms. That was a good sign. He wanted her to be able to enjoy this, to enjoy him. He did have a semblance of control over himself. He was positive that if Alex chose to stop he would be able to. Even if it meant taking care of himself later. At this point, the important one was Alex.

Michael returned his mouth to Alex’s. Her lips parted willingly and Michael penetrated the cavern of her mouth with his tongue, erotically touching hers, then darting back out. His tongue played hide -and -seek with hers for several minutes.

When the kiss was broken, Michael and Alex’s eyes locked. Both knew what the other needed and wanted. Their eyes remained locked as Alex’s hands reached down and gently untied Michael’s black belt. She pulled it from around his waist and carefully folded the belt correctly. She bowed her head slightly over the belt before handing it to Michael with both hands. Michael received the belt with both hands as well and bowed his head slightly over it before placing it on the coffeetable.

Their eyes still boring into each other, Alex reached down and pulled the strings that held Michael’s dobok top tied together. Moving her hands up his abdomen and chest, she slid the dobok top from his shoulders. Alex’s hands ran down across Michael’s biceps and she felt his muscles jump under her touch.

Their eyes met again and no words were needed. Alex’s eyes clearly were asking Michael ‘are you sure?’ And Michael’s clearly answered her ‘only if you are’.

***************

PART THIRTEEN

At Alex’s slight nod, Michael stood from the couch and easily lifted Alex into his arms. His mouth found hers in a sweet and gentle kiss. Michael could feel his body reacting to the kiss they shared. He was thankful that his dobok pants were rather loose fitting, although they were getting fairly tight.

Michael carried Alex down the hallway to his bedroom. Once inside he gently lowered her so that she was standing on the futon mattress which adorned his floor. Taking a step back from her, Michael let his eyes roam the length of Alex. She began to protest the fact that he was no longer touching her, but Michael placed a finger against her lips, stilling her motion.

Allowing his eyes one more sweeping glance, Michael moved close once more and gently held her face between his hands. He leaned in and kissed her once more, not allowing the rest of his body to touch the length of her.

Michael’s hands reached for and captured the top edge of Alex’s button-down shirt. Their eyes made contact again, seemingly for Michael’s to once again question Alex’s willingness to go through with this. This time, however, Michael’s eyes could not hide the longing and desire that shone forth from them. Even if Alex did not want to go through with this, she would not have been able to deny Michael.

Michael smiled and then his tongue darted out to moisten suddenly dry lips. Michael’s prowess when it came to seduction were legendary, but he suddenly felt like a green boy out on his first date. His hands trembled as they moved to unfasten the first button on Alex’s sundress. Michael’s heart froze as Alex lifted a hand to still his motion.

Alex’s face lit up as she saw the consternation on Michael’s face, She gently lifted both of Michael’s hands and kissed his fingertips, caressing his hands with her lips. She then returned Michael’s hands to the next button on her shirt, condoning his actions.

It did not take Michael long to finish unbuttoning Alex’s shirt. He knew that her breasts were unrestrained, as he had felt them against him while carrying her. His eyes closed involuntarily as his hands moved back up to push the material away from her shoulders and down her arms. He did not open them again until she was standing on the bed with her shirt pooled at her feet. He watched as Alex lowered her panties to the futon mattress.

Michael’s eyes roved over Alex’s now completely nude body. He was extremely happy with what he saw there. A light blush covered her body as she watched Michael carefully. Her nipples began to harden under his ardent gaze. She wanted and needed him desperately.

Alex’s hands lowered so that her fingers were entwined in the drawstrings of Michael’s dobok pants. She tugged gently, and the strings came apart. Alex’s fingers caressed across Michael’s abdomen and then insinuated themselves inside the waistband of his pants. She could feel the heat emanating from his hardened member, so very close to her hands. Michael’s breath caught as Alex slowly lowered the pants, freeing his manhood from its confines, and dropping them to the floor.

Michael suddenly took Alex in his arms, devouring her mouth in a kiss. The kiss caused Alex’s body to flush a brighter shade of pink and her nipples hardened to an achingly sweet point. A fire began to spread and pool between her legs.

Continuing the kiss, Alex took Michael’s hands from her hair. She placed one of them on her breast, practically begging him to caress her. She was not disappointed when Michael began to gently tweak her nipple, causing it to harden to a sharp point.

Michael captured Alex’s groan in their open-mouthed kiss. His groan quickly followed hers as she guided his other hand to the vee between her legs. There he found her willing and ready as his fingers insinuated themselves between the folds hiding her femininity.

Their exquisite torture continued and became more erotic as Michael lifted his now moistened hand to his lips and gently sucked the juices off of one finger and feeding another to Alex. They both shuddered with the erogenous act.

Michael could not stand the foreplay any longer. He took Alex’s hand and together they lowered themselves to the futon mattress. Michael desperately wanted another taste of Alex and this time he did not want to taste her from his fingers. He wanted first-hand knowledge of that sweet taste. He buried his head between her legs and spread her open to his questing tongue. As Michael’s tongue touched Alex’s bud, her first orgasm overtook her. Michael continued to tongue her bud as her body quaked from her climax.

When the last vestiges of her orgasm were beginning to wind down, Michael plunged his shaft into Alex’s welcoming sheath. Michael was straining with the effort to keep a semblance of control over himself. He desperately wanted to bring Alex to orgasm again before he lost himself completely.

Michael began to rock back and forth, plunging his shaft deeper and deeper into Alex. He felt like he could bury himself inside of her. He reangled himself so that his shaft was stroking insistently along the wall of her warm cave, searching for just the right spot to hit. He knew he had found the right place when Alex again began to convulse in his arms. Crying out her name, Michael lost himself in the bliss that he was feeling at the moment, suffusing Alex with a warmth she had not felt in a long time.

Within moments, both Alex and Michael were asleep, wrapped in each others arms, safe in the knowledge that there was someone out there who actually cared.

***************

PART FOURTEEN

Michael awakened to find his arms empty and his body bereft of the glorious feelings that had so recently sated it. He sat up and looked toward the bathroom door expecting to see Alex there. But the door was open and the light was off, indicating that she was not there. Rising, Michael wrapped one of the sheets from his bed around his middle and walked down the narrow hallway to the open loft area.

Bright sunshine and a hot breeze blew across the living area. Michael turned and saw the back door to the loft standing wide open. He walked towards it and noticed Alex’s bag sitting in the open doorway. Puzzled, Michael continued walking toward the door. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb.

Sitting on the top step, Alex was bent over tying the shoelaces on her tennis shoes. Michael knew that she sensed he was standing there, for her hands stilled momentarily. She finished the job, but never raised her head.

Michael was thoughtful. Something was definitely not right here. He had this connection with Alex. He knew it was strong, but he wished that he could understand what was going through her mind at this moment. He couldn’t understand. What they had shared this entire day had seemed magical, now it was looking rather ephemeral.

His voice broke the silence though it was barely above a whisper. “What’s wrong?”

Alex hung her head, still fiddling with her laces, refusing to look at Michael, “Nothing.”

Michael fingered the knot at his waist for a moment, deep in thought. “Have I done something wrong?” His voice was a whisper in the wind at this point.

Alex shook her head, not trusting herself to speak at this point. How could she explain this to him, when she couldn’t even explain it to herself? But she knew she had to try.

Her voice was so low that Michael had to strain to hear it at first. “You wont understand this Michael. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. It is always me. I always find a way to screw things up, and this time is no different.”

Michael’s voice was quiet too, as he responded to her. “You’re right Alex, I don’t understand. As far as I could tell, you did absolutely nothing wrong.” A grin lit up Michael’s countenance, but it soon faded as he realized Alex did not see it.

She was lost again. Lost in her memories, lost in her misery. “Michael, I thought that I had found the perfect place to train when I walked into your dojang yesterday.”

“And?” Michael prompted.

“And now I have messed that up.” Alex turned to look at Michael, her eyes red-rimmed from tears.

Michael’s heart contracted when he saw the pain etched all over Alex’s face. “I don’t understand Alex. What happened between the time you walked in here yesterday and now? What the hell does today have to do with training here?” Michael’s voice began to rise slightly. He was not angry, only confused.

Alex wrapped one arm around the bars of the stairs and scrunched closer to it, as if she were trying to melt into them. Michael plopped down next to her and gently nudged her with his knee. “I want to understand Alex. Please, talk to me. Help me understand.”

***************

PART FIFTEEN

“All right Michael. I cant hold anything back from you. But I am warning you, you will like the rest of this even less than what I have told you so far.” At Michael’s simple nod, Alex continued.

“Ever since Paige and Geoff were killed, I have had nothing but bad luck. Everything that I do, everywhere I go, I always manage to screw something up in my life. I have been roaming around the country for the past three years, trying to find some place I belong.”

“Every time I find a great place to train, I always find some way to f*ck it up. I don’t know why I do it, I just do. And today was no exception Michael.” Alex hung her head and allowed the tears to flow. She didn’t know why she was trying to hurt Michael in this way, she just needed to escape, and sometimes hurting the people you cared about was the only way to go.

Michael shook his head, as if to clear it of cobwebs. “I don’t understand Alex. Truly I don’t. I fail to see how enjoying some private time together in any way affects the fact that you felt you found the perfect place to train. They are not one and the same.”

“Aren’t they Michael?” The question hung between them for several moments. When Michael only looked at Alex with confusion in his eyes, Alex continued. “Have you ever had an intimate relationship with one of your students here Michael?” Michael’s eyes darted to meet hers and he gulped visibly. Alex knew she had hit her mark. She nodded and asked, “and how did it end Michael?”

“She couldn’t handle the fact that I wanted to keep the relationship separate from the dojang and that I wanted to make sure the relationship did not interfere with either of us training.” Michael again shook his head as if trying to erase the memories from his mind.

Alex thought a moment and then searched Michael’s face. “Was that it Michael? Or did you have a problem with allowing her to be an individual in the classroom? I am willing to bet that you could not handle the fact that she could take care of herself in class. That you needed to protect her!” Michael nodded his head slightly and Alex smiled. “I do understand that Michael, because I am the same way.”

“Do you think that by the time your classes start in a couple of hours, your students won’t know that I spent the night here? You know they will Michael. One student already knows that for a fact. Juicy gossip does not take long to spread inside a dojang. How will they react when I begin training? Will I be forced to start from the beginning so as not to arouse suspicion that I am sleeping with you to rise through the ranks? Or do I keep my rank and have the students think that you gave me that rank simply because I am sleeping with you? It is a no-win situation for me Michael.”

Michael swallowed and digested all that she had said. He understood where she was coming from. He knew she was right in being concerned about the reaction of his students. But he also knew that it would not take his students long before they realized that she really was as good as her rank implied. There had to be something else. Something else was making her push him away, and he desperately needed to know what and why.

Michael stood up from the steps and picked up Alex’s bags, carrying them back inside. Alex turned and stared at him before rising also. She followed him back inside and watched as he put her bags down in his bedroom, and then closed the door behind him as he exited. Alex stood there with her mouth agape momentarily. Michael watched her as her face changed from astonishment to outrage. He stood calmly waiting for the onslaught.

“What the f*ck do you think you are doing Michael? I don’t want my bags back in there! I want to leave and I want my things, now!” Alex’s voice reverberated around the loft.

Michael’s eyes searched Alex’s face before the blank mask descended over them. “No.” The word came out as a whisper.

No? What the f*ck did that mean? Alex’s mind was reeling. She had broken off many relationships in her past, but she had never met anyone who simply told her ‘no’ before. She was furious now. She moved toward the bedroom door to get her things. Michael simply moved in her path, not allowing her any leeway.

Alex’s voice dropped to the same deadly calm as Michael’s. ?Get out of my way, Michael!”

Michael simply folded his arms and remained in her path. He shook his head slightly. “Not until you tell me the rest of it Alex. Not until you tell me about Hana.”

***************

PART SIXTEEN

Where should she begin? How could she make him understand that even though Hana was her entire life, sometimes it was better if she stayed away? Could anyone possibly understand that?

Alex wandered around the loft, gathering her thoughts. She occupied herself with picking up and examining a few things of Michael’s. She was stalling for time, and she knew it. Half the time she could not explain her relationship with Hana to herself. How could Michael expect her to explain it to him.

Michael stood stoically by, watching Alex. He knew she was stalling as well. He knew she was trying to gather her thoughts. He had no idea what she was going to tell him, but he knew he should show no reaction to whatever it was. He had goaded her into confronting this part of her life, he would lose her if his reaction was not what she expected. Michael’s training would come in quite handy. No reaction at all would be much better than the wrong reaction.

Alex could not stand the tension in the air any longer. She walked over to where Michael still stood. Her eyes locked on to his, and for a fleeting moment she saw the emotion welling there before his face took on a stoic demeanor. She was glad. She knew he cared. He cared enough to have feelings and emotions but was concerned enough about her to attempt to hide those emotions and feelings. Taking one of Michael’s hands gently between hers, Alex drew him over to the sofa and pulled him down to sit next to her.

Alex began to speak, still holding Michael’s hand as if it were a lifeline. “Michael, I don’t expect you to understand this. I don’t always understand it myself. Hana is my life. She always has been, she always will be. And no matter how much time I spend with her, no matter how much I give to her, it can never replace what she has lost in her life. Her mother, her father, her brother, nothing I do can compensate for them.”

Alex took a deep breath and sighed. “Remember I told you about Hana’s grandparents, how they wanted to take her away from me?”

Michael nodded, not daring to speak.

“I know that they are the ones who set fire to the school. I have no way to prove it, but I know it. They have been trying constantly to get Hana away from me. After the school burned down, I brought Hana to my parents. I knew that they could keep her safe, where I could not. I began searching to find some evidence of what Hana’s grandparents had done, to no avail. I decided to rebuild the school. It was my way of focusing myself. Besides I felt that Hana needed some connection to her parents, and rebuilding the legacy they had left for her seemed right. But no matter what I tried to do in order to rebuild that school, I was blocked at every corner. Contractors backed out on me. City officials who had promised to help, began turning a blind eye to my needs. I know it was Geoff’s parents who coerced people not to help me. They did not want me to succeed and they could hopefully take Hana away from me.”

Michael clung to Alex’s hand, lending his support to her.

“My parents have round-the-clock guards protecting the perimeter of their property. There, I know Hana is safe. I, however, do not feel comfortable there. No matter how much I long to have Hana with me, I know that my family can keep her safe for me. Wanting her with me is only a selfish act. I could never live with myself if I gave in to my foolish selfishness and something happened to Hana. I have been hoping that I could find some place in this world where I could feel safe enough to bring Hana with me. I guess that is why I move around a lot and never really commit to anything.”

They both remained silent a few minutes, simply holding hands. Alex was attempting to hold on to whatever shreds of sanity she had left. Michael was trying to assimilate all of the information he had been given. He understood where Alex was coming from. What she had done was no less than anything he had done in his past, nor anything he wouldn’t do if he were in her place.

Michael decided to skew the conversation a little. He did not want to overburden Alex with more of a conversation that he knew was tearing her heart in two.

“Alex, do me a favor? Give this place a chance? Don’t give up on this town, these people so easily. You cant keep running. It wont do you or Hana any good. I understand that you do not feel comfortable at your parents’ home with armed guards surrounding it. You need to find some place where you can make a home for yourself. And when the time is right, you will manage to bring Hana to live with you. Because that is what will be best for the both of you. And if there is anything that I can do to help, all you have to do is ask.”

Alex’s eyes were brimming with tears. Tears she did not want to shed. She fought valiantly to hold them back. Understanding her discomfiture, Michael arose from the couch and disappeared momentarily, allowing Alex to compose herself. When he returned, he tossed a spare dobok onto the sofa next to Alex. “Come on, how about we break a good sweat before the kids show up for kids class? I know I can use the workout, I bet you can too.”

***************

PART SEVENTEEN

Front kick. Side kick. Roundhouse. Spinning side. Spinning roundhouse. Reverse punch. Alex was relentlessly pushing Michael all over the dojang floor as he moved the shield around for her to hit. The workout was feeling great, muscles burning, sweat flowing freely. This was what she loved. The only thing in her life that she could trust.

Michael was enjoying watching Alex work. He had never doubted her rank, but watching her gave him the sense that she was long overdue for an upgrade. The fluidity with which Alex moved was as near to perfect as any martial artist could hope to attain.

Michael could tell that Alex was trying to work through her frustration. After letting her pound on him through a shield for a while, he offered to spar with her. When Alex hesitated, Michael laughed and promised not to hurt her. The look of incredulity on Alex’s face caused Michael to laugh again as he got up to pick out some sparring gear for the both of them.

The battle began in earnest after the two had bowed to each other. They both stalked around the dojang floor, sizing each other up. Both moved with the ease and grace of big cats.

Michael lost the battle of wills and attacked first. Alex smoothly moved out of the way and hit Michael with a roundhouse kick to the head before he regained his balance. He turned quickly, a feral look in his eyes. Alex shivered, knowing that Michael would not underestimate her again.

Back and forth they went. Once on the attack and then again on the defensive. It was a fair give and take, an even exchange. Michael was momentarily distracted when the bell over the door chimed as a couple of the students entered the dojang. But to Alex’s credit, she chose not to attack him in a moment of weakness. She would not humiliate him in front of his students.

The kids realized rather quickly that they were experiencing something special. They scrambled to drop their bags and climb up on the low wall separating the waiting area from the dojang floor. Once there, their eyes were glued to the action on the floor, the older ones occasionally exchanging glances above the others’ heads. They had no idea what was going on, but they knew a good match when they saw one.

The battle became more of a head game between the two opponents. Both were working very hard to find just the right opening. Few actual blows were exchanged, it became very much a chess match. One would move forward slightly, testing an opening. The other would retreat, watching the other warily. Sweat was pouring off of both Michael and Alex, as they soon lost themselves in the match.

The kids were enthralled sitting on the low wall. The older ones appreciated much more than the younger ones what they were witnessing. They knew their job well. It was to keep the others quiet and to learn as much as they could from the two combatants on the floor.

Before long, the battle began to heat up. The two opponents had sized each other up nicely, and now were making their attacks. The match quickly turned into an aerial show, the classic style of taekwondo. Both were flying through the air, spinning and jumping. It seemed to the kids that neither Michael nor Alex ever really touched the ground, except to launch themselves once again.

The match ended abruptly when Michael’s flying spinning heel kick connected solidly with Alex’s jaw, spinning her around completely before she landed in a heap on the floor. There was an audible gasp from the kids watching, as Michael quickly knelt and made sure that Alex was all right. When Alex opened her eyes and grinned at him, Michael knew that she would be OK.

Michael stood and pulled Alex to her feet. A bevy of activity took place when the kids realized that the show was over. They jumped off the low wall and some began gathering their bags while others bowed onto the dojang floor. Most of them at some time walked over toward where Michael and Alex were taking off their gear, congratulating them on a well-fought battle. Michael was proud of the fact that his students had understood the significance of the match.

As Alex moved away to work on some forms in the back classroom, Michael watched her closely. He hope that the sparring match had helped her to focus once again. He knew damn good and well that his focus was off and it had helped him some.

One of his students, Tori, sidled up next to Michael and sat with her legs crossed underneath her. “Hey, sabomnim, isn’t that the same chick that was here yesterday? The one in the flower print sundress?”

Michael turned to look at the young teenager. His voice was ominous when he spoke. “What did you just call her? A chick?” Tori grinned at Michael and he was hard pressed to keep the serious look on his face. “Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it Master Samuelle. It is just a term we use these days. If you donut like it I will try not to use it around you again.”

Michael laughed. He sometimes wondered what this world was coming to when he heard the kids from the school talk. “No I donut like you referring to her in that way Tori. But I guess it is something that I can forgive if you promise to work on a better vocabulary for me.” At Tori’s rueful nod, Michael ruffled her hair slightly. “And to answer your question kiddo, yes she is the same lady that was here yesterday. She is new here. I hope you and the others will show her the same respect that you show to me and that you will all welcome her into our family.”

Tori smiled back and Master Samuelle. “Sure, no problem Sabomnim. You know you promised me last week that you would show me part of Taegeuk five this week. You haven’t yet. Would it be OK if I asked her to show it to me?” Tori was obviously interested in getting to know Alex.

Michael smiled again. “I am sure it would be OK. Remember to ask politely. And don’t be pushy if she tells you no. She may wish to focus on her own forms right now.”

Tori grinned. “Who me? Pushy? Never!”

Michael laughed once more. “Get out of here you rat.” Michael’s voice stopped Tori as she began to move to the back room. “And Tori? It wont do to have you saying ‘hey you’ to her. Her name is Sabomnim Alex.”

Tori grinned. “Sure thing Master Samuelle.” Tori moved off to find Alex and Michael turned to survey the rest of his kingdom.