He was just lying there, watching her. Lying in the same bed with her, watching her sleep. It wasn't a dream. In the silence, he heard his heart beat for her, as it did a thousand times a day. Every day. For all these years. Through it all, she hadn't heard the silence of his heart. But it was there. Always part of him.

There was a lock of hair, fallen across her beautiful face. He reached over and made the gesture to move it away, but it was only a gesture. He was very tempted, for the need to see all of her beautiful face was strong. His fear of waking her, was the only thing that held him back.

He had learned a lot that day.

As he watched her tranquil face, so beautiful in sleep, he thought back to that morning. She had woken him by kissing his eyelids, then his cheeks, then his nose. She definitely had his full attention by the time she captured his lips, in a very tender kiss.

Then she'd dragged him out of bed.

She informed him, that they had to go grocery shopping, before they both had to report to section.

"You're kidding right?" He asked still half asleep.

"You know Michael, this is the Nineties. We go grocery shopping, like we make love."

He hadn't had his coffee yet, so it was difficult for him to see any kind of connection. She must have noticed the confused look on his face, and felt the need to explain.

" In other words we do it together."

He started laughing.

"Oh my God." She put her hand to her heart. "You know Michael, I wanted to make a very special dinner tonight because, although I'm sure you've forgotten, this is our first month anniversary. And since it's to soon to buy a gift of gold or silver, I thought Lamb would be nice, knowing it's your favorite. But, we have a much greater occasion to celebrate now, and to think it happened on our first anniversary."

" Exactly what did happen on our first anniversary, Nik-e- ta? And when did it happen? Since I just got out of bed, and haven't even had my coffee yet?"

She poured him a cup of coffee. She was so happy, and it was 8 A.M. It didn't make any sense.

"You know. You're truly amazing." She entwined her arms around his bare shoulders, and kissed him softly on the lips. " For the first time, on our first anniversary, I have been blessed by hearing you laugh. And you didn't even know you did it. It was a gift from you that you can't take back, " she said with tears in her eyes.

He reached up and his gentle grasp drew her into the safety of his arms. "You make me very happy." He hugged her tight. "Happy Anniversary."

After his second cup of coffee they both had gotten dressed and headed out the door for Clemens Market.

In the hallway, she stopped cold. "Forgot my list. I'll just be a minute." She hurriedly unlocked the apartment door, and a moment later returned, waving her list like it was a treasure.

At Clemens, she got a shopping cart, and told him to push. " I'll hold your arm and help you steer," she said laughing. She had both her arms wrapped tightly around his arm.

"Who's going to be in charge of the list?" he asked teasingly. " It seems to me we're run out of arms."

She snuggled her arms even closer around his. "Ah, the hell with the list. This is much more fun." She smiled as she looked up into his eyes. He laughed at her.

Eventually they had to disengage. Not that either of them wanted to. But somebody had to put the groceries in the cart. First they went to the meat department and she picked out a boneless lamb roast. He told her he had never eaten lamb in roast form and he loved lamb chops. She rang the bell for the butcher anyway.

"Trust me." She said smiling beautifully.

"I always have." He'd answered.

"Hi Gus", she greeted him like an old friend. "I need every bit of fat taken off this roast. Just like you did for me the last time. It was the best lamb we ever tasted."

"Sure thing Nikita." Gus replied happily. "Missed you. Where've you been?"

"Busy, Busy, Busy. With my job and all." Gus looked at Michael.

"Hi Gus, I'm Michael." They shook hands.

"It's our anniversary." Nikita blurted out.

" I didn't even know you were married." Gus replied surprised.

Nikita smiled and looked at her watch. "Can you have it ready in about thirty minutes Gus? We're kindda in a hurry today."

" I'll have it ready in fifteen. And by the way. Congratulations."

We both thanked him, as Nikita possessively held my arm. She looked up at me as I wheeled the cart away and she steered. He had tried to look serious but he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. They both laughed.

They headed for the produce aisle. They carefully picked fresh fruits and vegetables.

Up and down each aisle they went, picking lots of things that weren't on her list. Nikita couldn't find the ketchup. She asked one of the employees what aisle they'd moved it to. We finally found it. She picked a bottle off the shelves.

"Well, look at you." She exclaimed to the bottle. " They not only moved you, they gave you a new do." She turned to him. " A brand new squeeze bottle. Great, isn't it?"

"Nikita, you're talking to a bottle of ketchup."

"Well," she answered teasingly. "I had to have something to talk to these last few years."

She looked at the bottle. "This is the handsome man I've told you so much about." She laughed, but he thought about the truth behind her words. He pushed on, completely at her mercy, and she stopped him as she put a couple rolls of paper towels in our cart. He'd only pushed a few more feet, when she'd grabbed his arm and they came to a sudden halt in front of the toilet paper.

" What kind of toilet paper do you like Michael?" She asked quite seriously. He swallowed hard, and tried to keep his lips together, but he just couldn't help himself. He completely cracked up. She did too.

Everyone in the aisle was looking at them, but they just kept laughing till tears rolled down their cheeks. He desperately tried to get serious.

"Charmin,"he finally said. They cracked up all over again. There they were, two anti- terrorists, laughing their asses off in the toilet paper aisle. It was a moment he was sure they'd never forget. Like your first kiss. She took the Charmin off the shelf, and with a villainous grin on her face, started to squeeze the four pack.. He grabbed it from her and threw it into the cart and pushed away. They tried their best to get past the moment on their way back to the meat department, but all of a sudden, she looked at him with that villainous grin, and they started laughing again.

Gus had the roast all ready for us. He wished us a Happy Anniversary as we wheeled away. In the checkout line, Nikita took out coupons from her purse. " Coupons, Nikita?" He asked surprised.

" Well, I had to have something to do during my downtime." She held one up for him to see. It was for Charmin. " You have very good taste", she said. We both started laughing again. After the groceries were rung up , the cashier told us our total was $65.00.

" He's paying." She pointed at me. " He owes me Big-Time." She joked with the cashier. The cashier laughed as well, as she stuck out her hand toward him to be paid.

" She's got that right." He replied smiling. " Today's our anniversary."

Nikita had looked up at him. Her beautiful eyes were glowing with pride.

The cashier wished them a ‘ Happy Anniversary', as she handed him his change. Nikita had taken the receipt and carefully placed it in her purse.

After we unpacked all the groceries and put them away, we each drove our own cars to Section. There was no mission scheduled for a few days, so it was likely he would arrive home later than she would. He had to work on a profile.

He called her on her cell phone around seven, and she told him he'd better have his love-el-ly butt home by eight.

He got there just before eight. She was in the bedroom as he placed his purchases on the dinner table. She ran down the stairs once she realized he was home and gave him a welcome home kiss. He told her to close her eyes and open her arms. She was very excited, when he told her she could open them.

There was a long white box wrapped in wide red ribbon. She carried it over to the counter and carefully opened it. It was a single long stemmed red rose with babies breath and a ribbon wrapped around it. Her eyes were brimming with tears. "There's no card on the box Michael."

" I guess I forgot about that. I was in a hurry . I had to get my lovely butt home by eight."

She got out one of her many vases, and carefully arranged the rose in it just so, before taking it to the dinner table. As she went to place it on the center of the table, she saw the bottle of her favorite wine with a bow around its neck, and a big card envelope leaning up against it. She looked into his eyes. She opened the card with trembling hands, and took it out of the envelope.

You are my companion, who shares the changing years,
Whose love brings back the sunshine, when rainy days appear
Whose hands are always busy, making everything go well,
Whose wise and understanding heart, knows more than words can tell
The friend who's ever by my side, and always on my team,
The pal most fun to be with, the partner of my dreams,
The woman that I love, from whom I'll never part,
The dearest person in my life, the nearest to my heart.

Happy First Anniversary.
Love Michael

She started crying while she was reading it, and could barely see through her tears. Michael took the card away from her trembling hands, and finished reading it when she couldn't continue. She clung to him desperately. He held her close against him till her sobbing subsided.

She raised her lips to meet his own, and they melted together as they sealed the cherished moment with their kiss. She was overcome by so many firsts today. Their anniversary, his first laugh, their shopping trip, the first flower he had ever given her, the first card she could ever remember getting. She already had, in her new scrapbook, a tiny bright pink paper umbrella, and as soon as they had gotten home from Clemens, she had put the receipt from the groceries in her book as well. Now she had the card and the rose to add too. She poured out her heart as she told him all this.

" They're all firsts for me too, Nikita." Only I'm one up on you." He said smiling.

‘This is the first time I'm going to have a lamb roast, if we don't burn it." "Oh my God ", she ran to the oven. She looked over at him smiling, then blew her nose.

"Dinner is served." Michael went over and put a CD on the carousel. Soft music relaxed the atmosphere as he lit some candles, then helped her serve the dinner. The lamb was the best he'd ever tasted. He had never seen her so happy. He had never been this happy.

After dinner, they cleaned up the kitchen together. Then took a shower together. They went to bed and laid naked in each other's arms for a long time before officially consummating their first anniversary together.

Shortly after their insatiable love making, she fell into a sound sleep.

As he watched her sleep, he thought about the many things he had learned that day. He loved lamb roasts better than chops. She was very into anniversaries. He really loved laughing with her, and at her. The butcher had a crush on her. She loved getting flowers and cards. That he loved going grocery shopping with her, even if she did speak to inanimate objects.

The most important thing he realized was that he actually fell more in love with her today, if that was possible. He never realized that someone whose fate in life was so unfair, could have such a sense of humor, and that she could still love him.

The fragments of his bitter past, tinged with regret, could never be rewritten. But lying there watching her sleep, no longer exiled from her love, made him happier than he'd ever been in his life. Or ever hoped to be.

Maybe their love was like a sand castle, waiting for the sea to seal its fate. Without her he was like the earth without the sky. The waves without the shore. The time to protect her against himself was gone, and left in its place was the certainty, that living without her love in his life, was a sadder grief than death.

He looked over at the clock on the night stand. It was 11:55. He reached over and moved the lock of hair off her beautiful face. She stirred but didn't wake. He moved his body ever closer to her and kissed her sleepy mouth. She opened her beautiful blue eyes and smiled at him.

"Is it time to get up?" She yawned.

" No Nikita. It's still our first anniversary, and since it's been that kind of day, I think I should be the first to tell you."

She leaned up on her elbow so she could look into his eyes."Tell me what?"

"I love you." They hugged, kissed, cried , and laughed.

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