Written with One Lobo
NC-17

Alexandra pulled her car up in front of his building, and spotted his car at the end of the block. He'd been back from his last mission for a few hours. He'd gone through debrief, and left Section One - headed for home. Alexandra had decided to wait to go to him, until he was out of section. It would be a little more private - and she knew he had to be feeling awful right now. She knew what it was like to lose a child - and now he'd gone through it - twice.

She tucked Pepe under her arm, and walked into the building.

Darren heard the knock on the door and he knew who it was before he even looked. He'd dreaded this moment. He didn't want to face her right now, didn't want to risk being near her. He didn't want to risk hurting her. He'd learned things about himself; learned what he was a capable of on this mission. When she found out she'd be devastated.

Reluctantly he got up, and walked over to answer the door.

She stood there; Pepe tucked under her arm and compassionate smile on her face. Darren stepped back; she stepped in, setting Pepe on the floor.

"How you doing?" she asked, reaching out and running her hand down his arm.

Darren turned his hand and caught her fingers in his, "Alex - I gotta talk to you about something and you're not gonna like it."

She nodded slowly, "Is it about the mission you were on?"

Darren rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand, looking at the smoothness of her skin, feeling the small muscles underneath it; so unlike and yet so similar to the woman he'd destroyed.

"Michael tell you about it?" Darren asked her.

"Yeah, and Nikita," Alexandra told him, "A little."

Darren nodded, "I need to tell you the rest. But before I do, I want you to know I love you so much Alex -"

"I know that," She said quickly, "Whatever it is, we'll get through it. Don't worry."

Darren sighed, dropped her hand and shoved his hands into his pockets. Alexandra felt him pull away from her more than just physically. Alexandra took a step towards him, but he turned away.

She stood there looking at his back for a moment. She felt Pepe rub up against her leg.

"I was sent into this place that kidnaps girls and hires guys to have sex with them to get them pregnant. Marc gave me a drug that should have prevented me from getting someone pregnant but it takes time to work. I got this teenage girl pregnant."

Alexandra swallowed hard, "Darren, it's ok. It was part of the mission. You didn't have a choice!"

"I hurt her!" Darren snapped, "This girl had no experience with men, I lost control and I raped her!"

He still stood with his back to her, his hands shoved into his pocket.

Alexandra took a deep breath, and rubbed her hand across his shoulder blades.

"It's-"

"Don't!" Darren said sharply, stepping out of her reach. He turned around, facing her, but out of her reach, in so many ways.

"Don't make excuses for what I did, and don't say it's ok. My mother did that with my father. I don't want to see you become like her. I'm not going to risk hurting you."

Alexandra opened and closed her mouth, at a loss for words for a moment.

"Do you want me to be angry? I . . . I know you're hurting right now! I just want to help you Darren!"

Darren sighed, "Alex … I'm becoming my father. I can't imagine life without you but I'd rather have us end this way; than because I physically hurt you."

"END?" Alexandra said suddenly, "You're breaking up with me? Over this?!"

Darren folded his arms across his chest, "Alex please, just take Pepe and go."

"We can work through this-" Alexandra started, her voice cracking.

Darren walked over to his door and opened it, "Don't make me throw you out. Get on with your life - without me. I'm not going to change my mind."

Alexandra felt her stomach twist, both her chest and heart aching. She scooped up Pepe.

"I don't want to leave you alone, not like this," Alexandra said, not budging from the spot she stood in.

"I know 'Kita has someone watching me," Darren told her, "Standard procedure Alex. Go on, I'll be fine."

She drew in a ragged breath, "I also know how easy it is to get around those cameras, I did it for months."

Darren had been looking at the floor. He looked up at her, "I won't. I promise."

She walked towards him, towards the door, stopping before she walked out.

"Please don't do this Darren," She said softly, "We can-"

"We can't," Darren sighed, "Alex … I almost killed you once; or have you forgotten?"

Alexandra swallowed hard, "Darren, please."

He looked away.

Alexandra knew she'd lost.

"I'll be waiting," she said quietly, "When you need me … or someone. I'll be here."

"Don't Alex," Darren said softly, "Because I won't call. If I need help, I won't ask for you. I won't risk it. Just go."

She sat in her car, the reality of what happened still washing over her. Alexandra lit a cigarette, and took a long drag. Then she dialed Nikita and Michael's number. Nikita answered on the 2nd ring.

"Tell me someone is watching him," Alexandra said, hoping her voice didn't sound as shaky to Nikita's ears as it did to her own. She was still shaking from the impact of what Darren had said to her.

"Darren? Yeah; I ordered manned surveillance."

"He broke up with me, told me he doesn't want to risk hurting me. He said he's becoming his father. I can't make him listen, so I can't get him to see reason," Alexandra told her.

"I'd planned on having a long talk with him tomorrow," Nikita told her, "Let him rest for tonight Alex. He'll be OK."

Alexandra sighed, "I thought Lora would be OK Too."

"Alex, He's not the type," Nikita started.

"Neither was Lora," Alexandra snapped, "If he did do something, help is at least 5 minutes away. I'm going to park around the corner. Tell your watchdogs to call me if he picks up his gun, or any knives."

With that, Alexandra hung up before Nikita could argue. She started her car and drove around the corner, parking where she couldn't be seen.

It was 4 am. Darren hadn't slept all night. Guilt consumed him. Guilt over Donika's death. Guilt over enjoying what he'd done to her. Guilt over looking forward to his next session with his victims. Guilt over Alex. She'd tried to leave him in the past; ended their relationship for months on end out of self-preservation. She'd been struggling with her tightly held self-control. She'd told him she couldn't live with waiting for the inevitable to happen.

But he hadn't let up on her. They'd both dated other people. They'd both tried to stay away, but in the end Darren had pursued her again. It was probably the cruelest thing he could have done looking back on it now. If he hadn't time would have healed over the emotional wounds by now. She'd probably have made level 4 long before him and she'd never have allowed herself to become emotionally dependant on anyone. In his selfish need and lust for her, he'd set the both of them up for disaster. He deserved this torment, this agony of realization now - but she didn't.

He knew she'd only driven around the corner. They knew each other so well. She just didn't want to acknowledge what he'd become - what he was. At 4:00 am he knew it was pointless to try and sleep. He pulled on a light jacket, grabbed his keys and his gun and left for Section.

Alexandra watched Darren's car pull away from his building. She pulled out behind him, only their two cars on the street.

Her cell phone rang a moment later.

"What are you doing?" Darren's voice asked. He sounded tired, irritated.

"Same as you," She replied, "Driving."

"Don't play games with me Alex," Darren snapped, his voice suddenly hard, "You sat in your car all night, outside? What part of 'it's over' did you not understand!?"

"I heard you, I understand what over means, but it got kind of confusing when you say in one breath that you love me, and then next that you're afraid to hurt me physically, but it's OK to hurt me emotionally by shoving me away after something big happens in your life. I'm a big girl and in case you forgot how we met - I'm hard to hurt, get rid of and kill."

"I remember a lot of things," Darren replied, "I remember almost strangling you once. I remember scaring the hell out of you a few times after you were raped in Iraq. It's still very fresh in my mind how you'll do anything in bed to please me lately and after what just happened on that mission, I don't want to risk-"

"It's my risk to take," Alexandra stopped, "And I won't do anything you ask me to in bed, don't flatter yourself. I like to experiment, but I'm not some sex slave willing to do anything you ask. You've really developed quite an ego lately haven't you?"

He pulled into the parking garage. Alexandra parked her car a few stalls away. They both got out. Darren stood there with his arms crossed, Alexandra had Pepe tucked under her arm.

"This isn't going to work," Darren told her, as she met him at the entrance. He pressed in his code. The door opened. They both walked into the elevator.

"You want to be stubborn, fine. Be stubborn. But I know how to be stubborn Darren. You seem to remember all kinds of things. Don't forget that."

Darren suddenly shoved her up against the wall, pinning her with one arm across her chest, his other hand gripping her chin, holding her head still.

"You really think I'm not capable of hurting you?" He hissed.

Alexandra's eyes were as wide as saucers. She tried to jerk away, but he held her still. Pepe, sensing the tension, whimpered.

She brought one knee up suddenly, but he anticipated it, blocked it with his own leg.

They glared at each other for a moment and then the door started to open. Darren released her.

"Don't push your luck, next time I may not let you go," Darren snarled, and stepped out of the elevator.

Alexandra forced her self to laugh, following him out, "You just keep trying to convince yourself Darren! If you were your father, you'd have done far worse!"

Darren ignored her and continued down the hall.

Alexandra groaned and leaned against the hallway wall. He'd frightened her and she knew he knew it. But she also knew he'd planned the move so she wouldn't be hurt and so Pepe wouldn't be caught or smashed between them.

And now that he was inside Section, with so many people around, the chances of him hurting himself were slim. There would be too many people around.

"Look at this," Michael said softly.

Nikita yawned and stepped around to the back of Michael's desk. She had trouble sleeping last night, consumed with worry over Darren, Alexandra - and their volatile emotional temperaments. It seemed like 6 months couldn't go by without one of them going a little nuts on the other one.

She pushed her thoughts back and focused on the screen in front of her. Michael had pulled up video surveillance - and according to the time/location stamp, it was the elevator, at 4:17 this morning.

Alexandra and Darren were in it, talking - or rather arguing. Then he shoved her up against the wall and held her head still for a moment. The whole altercation took less than 10 seconds, but the impact made it seem like far more.

"Last night she said he broke it off because he was afraid of hurting her - physically," Nikita commented, "I know he's a mess right now, but this is going to far."

"He was proving a point," Michael replied, "But his control is slipping. We should watch him."

Nikita would have smiled, if the circumstances were not so dire. We should watch him - her and Michael. Sections most deadly team in the field; and more and more as time went on - they were taking care of the social mechanisms inside Section.

"Do you think Madeline knew what might happen when she sent Darren in?" Nikita asked, sighing deeply, crossing her arms.

"I don't know," Michael replied, "I anticipated some relationship trauma, but not this."

"Sometimes I don't know if she's trying to tear down operatives or build them up. I just never know . . ."

Nikita reached for the keyboard, and looked to see if Darren was logged in somewhere. He wasn't, which meant he was probably in the gym. They had recruits in martial arts class in 45 minutes too.

Darren waited, and watched through video surveillance to see when Alexandra left the gym. He knew she had morning work out's with her team, and he knew Kristie had been incorporated into that routine. He purposely put off his work out until she and Kristie went into the locker room.

Then he took out his anger and frustrations on the heavy bag, kicking and punching until all his muscles screamed. He was drenched, and aching by the time he heard Nikita's voice behind him.

"I guess I don't need to ask how you're doing," She said, her voice warm and friendly.

Darren stopped and sighed deeply, then turned around, "I'm sure you and Michael compare notes . . ."

"We talk about what's going on with our friends," Nikita replied, "Don't give me the same song and dance you did Alex. You're still my material Darren, you still answer to me."

"Did she wait until she got into her car to call you or did she call as she was walking to her car?" Darren asked, his tone annoyed.

"I'm not going to argue with you about Alex. That's for the two of you to work out - or not. But right now you're a mess and we've got all these new recruits. I can't spare anyone. You gotta pull it together. Just tell me what I can I do to help you."

"Keep me busy," Darren replied, "I don't want to have time to think or feel anything."

Nikita nodded, "That sounds like Michael's department - a while ago - but if what you need is time and distraction, god knows Section will provide."

"I need a favor," Alexandra said, sliding into the seat next to Birkhoff.

Birkhoff sighed, "The last time you asked for a favor, you dropped a bag of M&M's in my drawer. Before that you shoved a gun in my side. What do I get this time?"

Alexandra grinned, "Pepe won't piss on your shoes, how is that?"

"Pepe shouldn't even be in-"

"I'll bring by whatever junk food you want," Alexandra cut him off.

"Actually," Birkhoff started, "You know the bouncer at Devinci's, right? Can you get him to just waive me and a date on in? Without having to wait in that line?"

Alexandra nodded, "Birkhoff - that's almost too easy. Done! Name the day."

"Tomorrow night," Birkhoff told her, "I got a date with Mariah."

"The brunette from Medlab?" Alexandra asked him.

Birkhoff nodded, "Yeah. That's the one. So what do you need from me?"

"Call me when Darren leaves here," Alexandra told him, "And don't tell anyone."

Birkhoff nodded slowly, then asked, "Is it bad?"

"I just wanna watch is back," Alexandra said quietly, "And I need to catch a few hours sleep."

"All right," Birkhoff told her, "Barring any catastrophe's.

Nikita kept close tabs on Darren the week following his return to section. He worked, planned and analyzed for 48 hours; only agreeing to go home and get some sleep when he started to miss important details on a mission he was planning for. Alexandra had been into Section twice to see if he was still there, though her excuse was always a mission. When Darren left to go home and sleep; She left moments later. It wasn't until two days after that, that Michael found out she'd hacked into the automated surveillance in his apartment. She watched him from her laptop, waiting in her car … just in case.

When Michael confronted her, she didn't deny it. She justified it by reminding him that Lora - a friend before Section - had killed herself and no one had expected it. Darren was too good of an operative to lose; even if she wasn't emotionally involved.

Nikita was at least relieved that she saw part her anxiety for what it was. Michael on the other hand, was furious because she was breaking rules with no regrets or reservations.

Nikita and Darren left on an assault that evening. Darren had always been a social creature, but he was withdrawn. He didn't chat it up with Tony or Kim. He deflected any attempt by them or anyone else on the team to talk or do anything while they flew on the plane to their target site.

When Nikita returned, Michael told his wife that Alexandra's latest mission had left two hours after Darren and Nikita had and that Alexandra had slept like the dead on the plane ride there. Her team knew something was wrong; half of Section had heard rumors by now. One of her team members had fielded a phone call from Michael, saying she was tied up with some new Intel. Michael pulled surveillance. She was asleep, her team didn't want to wake her. But when the mission started she was right on cue. No hesitations, no mishaps. That had been the only relief Michael had felt.

They were both back in Section 60 hours later. He went back to working. She went back to keeping tabs on him. Michael locked her out of surveillance records, but she managed to hack her way back in - again.

But while all of this was going on, there were other operatives and other relationships fraying at the edges.

Stephen hated each and every one of his visits to Madeline's office. He was sure she knew about it, but he kept his demeanor polite. The room felt cold despite the plants and carefully chosen furnishings. Stephen was sure it was the occupant. But this time, the room bothered him more. He suspected it was because he was afraid Madeline had chosen Kristie as her Protιgι.

"Have a seat. I'm sure you're still very tired," Madeline told him.

Stephen almost laughed. She wasn't in the mood to pull punches today. Of course he was tired. The malnutrition would haunt him and Kristie for months. They both gagged down protein and nutrient shakes several times a day on top of a carefully planned diet and spent hours in the gym building back the strength and muscle they'd lost.

"Standing in Comm for hours can be such a strain," Stephen said sarcastically. He immediately regretted it. He knew he'd just told Madeline volumes. Kristie would not have made that mistake.

"Being out of your normal element can have psychological affects," Madeline told him, "I also have concerns about how well you can work on your recovery with David coaching you."

Stephen wanted to spit. He thought he'd hidden his resentment well. Apparently he hadn't hid it well enough. But there was no way in hell he was going to admit that he resented needing David's help or that he was pissed about how much attention David paid to Kristie - beyond what was really necessary.

"I think he's doing pretty good," Stephen replied, "We work well together - I thought."

Madeline watched him, "But you have concerns about how much time he spends with Kristie, since they did have an affair."

"Affairs apply when someone is married or committed. We weren't. It was just sex," Stephen started to explain, and then stopped. Every little word he said gave her more insights. Kristie would be kicking him right now if she were here.

"I don't want to impede your progress," Madeline told him, "We have a new trainer now. Her name is Beverly. She'll be taking over your physical therapy and diet planning. Kristie and David seem to be doing quite well together so I'll leave that relationship in place."

Stephen felt a little twinge of jealousy. They had better not be doing too well together. Most of this had to be Madeline up to her usual manipulations, but Stephen was still concerned. He always had been when it came to Kristie. She loved him, but she could live without him.

Nikita almost cringed when she heard the comment Darren made to Kristie. They were all in the gym and everything was very public.

"What? She ask you to keep tabs on me?" He said sharply.

Nikita turned to watch them. Kristie looked ready to explode.

"You are an asshole! For your information the world does not revolve around your sorry ass. It revolves around mine. Alex and her team are out and that means I don't have a work out partner and I need one. You're here, so you got elected. Shut up and spot me."

With that, she pushed him away from the bench and got on herself. She looked up at him, waiting for him to assume his position by the bar.

Darren sighed, and moved into position.

"She's starting to go stark raving nuts you know, you should talk to her. If she's in and I'm in, she stalks me outside of Section," Darren told her.

Kristie finished her last press in that series of reps and wracked the bar. She sat up and took a few deep breaths.

"She's worried is all," Kristie told him, "You know her friend killed herself."

"I'm not-"

"Not her friend, not her lover - anymore. I know, I heard all about it once - and that was it. That's what scares me. She's not moping, she's just decided to wait you out. I don't know which one of you pisses me off more with your stubbornness. She's never going to buy into it Darren. Get used to having a shadow."

Darren moved more weights onto the bar, "So who's watching me for her right now?"

"Operations probably," Kristie replied.

Darren knew she was making a joke out of question.

"Seriously Kristie - cause I haven't been able to spot a tail since she went out on that last mission."

"It's me," Kristie told him, "And I slacked on the job because I know you're not going to off yourself. So don't, because then she'll probably hunt my ass down - and right now she could kick me ass."

Darren pulled the bar off the rack and started to do the bench presses. When he finished the set a few moments later, he racked the bar and sat up.

"He your new body guard?" a voice asked, "Here I was thinking you were starting to prefer girls!"

Darren and Kristie both turned to look. Ike was standing there, taking advantage of an opportunity to start trouble.

"You ever spend time on the Jerry Springer show Ike? Cause you got that whole 'where can I find someone to fuck with' thing going on. Go away," Kristie snapped.

"Jerry Springer huh? I heard about this videotape of you and Mr. Mexico there-" Ike started.

Darren stood up, "You want to fuck with someone? Two hours - room 4. I got a handful of students I gotta demonstrate 'ass whooping 101' too."

Ike smirked, "Sure thing Mexico - if you feel like a little humiliation."

Ike started off for another part of the gym with a few other surly operatives.

Nikita walked over, "You know he's an abeyance op, don't you?"

Darren nodded, "Exactly. So he's not a big loss if I mess him up a little."

Nikita put her hand on Darren's arm, "He's as unstable as you're afraid that you are. You're better, but don't get over confident."

Darren nodded.

"I want to see you in my office before hand," Nikita told him.

"It's not the first time I've been stalked here," Darren commented dryly.

He was in Nikita's office, standing by the window. He was keyed up, tense. Whenever the topic of Alex arose, it got to him. Everything got to him lately. But he'd kept his social contacts at a minimum. He didn't go out with Tony and Kim anymore - and they were always inviting him.

"Her numbers slipped a point," Nikita told him. She was talking about Alexandra.

Darren laughed, "A whole point? A whole point happens to all of us when we catch a cold. Who's going to worry about a point?"

"Operations, Madeline," Nikita told him, "They tried to separate Michael and I over half a point."

"That's pathetic," Darren snapped, "And we're separated. She'll be fine. She'll rein her emotions in and she'll be a female version of Michael. We've seen it before."

"This is Section. I don't think I need to remind you how it works here. Talk to her, convince her your not going to kill yourself." Nikita replied, "Michael and I can manipulate the schedules more in a week - but there's going to be an 18 hour window where you'll both be in."

"I'll handle it Nikita," Darren sighed, "Just keep her busy after that 18 hours. After the chat we're going to have, she's going to hate me."

Room 4 was set up for observation. The observation room wrapped around the room where the demonstration took place. Darren was warmed up and ready. Ike walked in and Darren caught a glimpse of Madeline through the doorway that Ike had entered through. That concerned him - a little. Ike was in abeyance after all and this was set up as a training exercise. But everyone knew it was going to be an all out fight.

"OK pretty boy, you ready to look like the pussy you are?" Ike asked, laughing.

Cocky and over confident … Alexandra had beaten him before and she was half his size. But Alexandra fought someone like Ike with skills rather than brawn. In the brawn department, Darren was still better off than Ike. But like Nikita said, Ike was unstable.

"Generally, the man who starts to bait someone knows he's in a weaker position. Are you feeling a little insecure Ike?" Darren asked, moving over to the line where he would start from if this were a martial arts match.

"Insecure? Not this man. But I'm thinking you might be," Ike snorted and lunged. He swung at Darren with a fist. Darren side stepped at the last minute, grabbed Ike's arm and sent Ike crashing to the floor. Ike executed a sloppy roll, got up to his feet and attacked again. This time he lashed out with his foot. Darren blocked and sent Ike crashing to the floor again. Ike flopped on his back, legs and arms everywhere. Darren didn't release his leg. He moved quickly, rolling a Ike into a wresting position, pinning his shoulders. Darren slammed his fist hard into Ike's side, the blow meant to disable him.

But Ike flexed his torso, and the blow Darren delivered missed it's mark, just enough. Ike swung his fists around, hitting Darren's stomach and thighs. He flexed with his legs and loosened Darren's grip enough so Darren dropped his hold. Darren rolled back, away from his opponent to regroup.

"Can't believe you lost that hold!" Ike gasped out, "Were you thinking about Alex or Kristie? I hear that cute little red head is available again."

Darren didn't react. Alex was still very much off the market. Darren started to circle Ike, and then he lashed out with a kick, knocking the other man back a few feet. Ike swung another punch and it landed off center, but it still hurt. Then he grabbed for Darren's hair. Darren jerked back, barely getting out of Ike's reach in time. Then Darren swung his leg around, sweeping Ike's legs. Ike went crashing down.

"Maybe you were thinking about fucking that little girl again? Ain't it great how they're so tight, and how they scream and fight like hell, and then just give up and let you fuck 'em like a dog?!"

Something snapped in Darren's head. He flew at Ike, his foot slamming into Ike's ribs, a pop/ snap echoing loudly in the room. Ike swore and hissed and brought a foot up, grabbing at his ankle. Darren didn't understand or see reason in the room, until he caught a flash of light reflected off the blade, just as it whizzed buy Darren's thigh. Ike rolled to his uninjured side and got to his feet.

Darren lunged, intent on disarming him. He blocked the slice Ike made at him, his thumb pressing in where the pressure point should have been, but it didn't work. Ike struggled with him, the two of them straining against each other over the knife.

"Alex must be so pissed, being turned out because you like young pussy. Is Kristie gonna dress up in a little girls outfit for ya?" Ike gasped out.

Darren lost it. With all the rage and anger he felt over what happened, what he couldn't change and what he'd lost he twisted Ike's wrist around and drove the knife into Ike's gut and jerked, slicing in deep; ripping a 4 inch gash into Ike's gut. Ike grunted, his body spasming. Darren stepped back, just out of Ike's reach and wiped the blood on his hands on his tank top.

"Someone call med lab," Darren said calmly, "The lab rats have someone to practice on."

Stephen had never spent so much time in Comm. But at least he could stand for hours on end now and pace - without feeling like he was wearing out. Kristie walked by and flashed him a devilish grin. She knew he was going nuts. He knew she was ready to rip someone's hair out by the roots. She wasn't enjoying her forced apprenticeship with Madeline at all.

"She's cute," a female voice said, coming up from the side.

Stephen turned to look. He hadn't met this woman before, she had to be new. But she wasn't a recruit, he knew that immediately. She looked to confident. She was also rather cute herself. Tell, slender, athletic looking. She was dressed in a warm up suit, the jacket open to reveal a sports bra style top and a very firm, muscular cut stomach. The outfit wasn't meant to be sexy - but somehow it was.

"Yes, she is," Stephen replied, "And worse yet, she knows it."

The woman laughed, "I'm Beverly by the way. I'm going to be working with you, instead of David."

Stephen suddenly realized how much trouble he was in. Madeline had chosen someone attractive for him to work with - as a test for Kristie.

"You're going out?" Kim said, "Dancing? With who?"

Darren turned his gear over to Walter.

"Whomever I meet at the club. I just need to burn off some tension," Darren told them, "No strings, no explanations. It's guy thing Kim."

Kim grabbed his arm as he walked past her. He stopped, the look on his face irritated.

"Be safe," she said gently.

Darren laughed, "Safe? Here? Please!"

He left. Kim looked pointedly at Tony, "He really is becoming a prick, isn't he? Suddenly we're not good enough to hang out with or something?"

Tony drew in a deep breath, "I . . . give him the benefit of the doubt Kim. Maybe he really does just want to burn off some steam with a beer and loud music."

"I think you better live up to being his best friend and go talk him out of being stupid," Kim told him.

Tony groaned, "Kim-"

"I'll see you when you get home," Kim replied, her answer clear. She wasn't budging on this.

"What are you doing here?" Darren snapped, after chugging down the last of his beer. He nodded towards the bar tender and she set down another one.

"What all best friends do," Tony said, "Making sure whomever you pick up to go bang isn't the skankiest bitch in the bar."

Darren managed a bitter laugh, "That's what rubber's are for."

"Man do yourself a favor. Go home, get some hand lotion - but don't do this. It's bad enough that we gotta do it for work sometimes-"

Darren picked up his beer, and chugged half of it down, "Tony … because you are my best friend, I'm going to remind myself that you're blissfully involved with Kim and that this is a concept that you never need entertain. Go home or you're gonna spend your night getting hit on by girls and then Kim will really be pissed."

Darren finished off the next beer and looked around. Tony was about to ask him who he was looking for, but then a blonde appeared.

"Darren! How are you!" she exclaimed.

Tony immediately knew this woman had more air in her head than brains. Darren slid an arm around her waist and started to walk away with her. Tony watched his friend go, and sighed in defeat. Darren was as pig headed as any Italian Tony knew.

Alexandra thought he'd been looking to see if she followed him. She'd barely ducked behind a fake potted plant in time. But then a blonde practically threw herself on him. Alexandra recognized her immediately. She was an expensive prostitute that had worked this club for the last year and a half. They didn't even go out onto the dance floor - but instead walked out of the club. Alexandra followed them out, moving behind other people. She was on the street in time to see them walk into a hotel down the road and across the street. She felt her stomach twist and turn over.

Darren pushed all his feelings back. He was single now. He didn't have to feel guilty for what he was about to do. The added benefit - that it would piss Alex off in the extreme, had an end to it that justified the means. If he could convince her that he didn't need her, want her; that there was no hope for them, she'd get on with her life. He tried not to think about how painful this would be for her. She'd be better off in the long run. It didn't matter that Darren felt like the lowest scum.

"I thought you and that redhead were pretty tight," Cherice - the prostitute, commented.

"Shit happens," Darren sighed.

They reached the hotel room. She opened it up, and they walked in.

"So," Cherice began, sitting down on the end of the bed, "You tell me what you want, I'll tell you what it'll cost."

Darren sighed. He wanted to not feel anything. He wanted to not miss the feel of Alex's warm, pliant body next to his. He didn't want to remember how she'd taste. He didn't want to remember the difference between how she tasted, how Donika tasted, how Alexis tasted. He didn't want to remember the thrill of feeling Donika's body react to new sensations. He didn't want to remember her sobs, how she begged him to not touch her again. He didn't want to remember that she'd killed herself because of him.

"You've never done it this way have you?" Cherice said, watching him.

"This is probably gonna be the easiest job you've done," Darren told her, "All I want is to make it look like I paid you for sex."

Cherice leaned back, resting on her hands, "You think she'll hear about it?"

"I think she's probably watching," Darren told her, "An hour of your time."

"Honey, if a man lasts for an hour, I'm doing something wrong, but it's your dime - or, I should say - C Note."

Darren pulled out his wallet, and thumbed out the money, and handed it to her. She stuffed the money into her dress.

"So what happened?" Cherice asked.

Darren had been peering out the window, between the blinds and the window frame.

"It's just over," Darren replied.

"And this is going to convince her? She's nuts or you are."

Darren smiled, "Probably both of us."

Ninety minutes later. . .

"What the fuck did you just do?" Her voice asked softly from somewhere in the darkness.

Darren didn't flinch. He hadn't seen her car, but that hadn't surprised him. He'd expected this confrontation. It didn't surprise him that she was waiting for him in a dark apartment. He could feel the agony emanating from her. But hadn't that been his plan? Piss her off so bad that she'd hate him, not care if he lived or died, so she got on with her own life, such as it was? He felt worse now. He'd given up any hope of redemption a month ago, but at this moment he really did want to lay down and die. But if he did, she might follow. If she hated him, if he was around to remind that she hated him, maybe she wouldn't give up her own will to live.

He turned on the light. She was standing in the kitchen.

"You've been stalking me, I'm fairly sure you know what I just did," Darren snapped, "Get out. I paid for it so I wouldn't have to deal with strings Alex. You should try it sometime. You can fuck, get off and not worry about them afterwards. It's not unlike fucking a target on a mission."

He heard her suck in her breath sharply.

"I suppose I could have saved myself a couple hundred bucks and just called you," Darren began as he opened the fridge, "But I felt like something a little different tonight."

He opened up a beer.

Alexandra stood there, furious and devastated, "A month ago you couldn't be with me because you didn't want to hurt me and abuse me because you loved me! Now you do this? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I discovered a month without you was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I missed the sex though. Somehow Alex, over these last few years, I managed to convince myself I loved you. Now I realize I didn't. I'm tired of being Mr. Nice guy. If you want to fuck drop your cloths and bend over. Otherwise, get out. I got a mission in a few hours."

She walked past him, out the door. Darren knew then that he'd won. But it was a hollow victory. He wanted to take it all back, but he couldn't.

Michael was about to knock a second time, but she opened the door. She stood there, dressed in dark slacks and a white T-shirt, a cigarette between her fingers.

"I thought you agreed to quit," Michael commented walking in.

Alexandra managed a bitter laugh, "I'll agree to anything if it gets you off my ass."

Pepe stood on the backrest of the sofa, his tail wagging furiously. Michael ran his fingers over the little dogs back, looking around the apartment. She'd papered the walls of this apartment with the photographs she'd taken, just as she had the last. She had two on her coffee table. One taken last year, the other recently. Both were of Darren.

"I'm sure there's a reason you're here Michael," Alexandra said, "Make it quick, I'm supposed to pick up some Intel from Wilde."

"What Intel?" Michael asked.

"Chemical weapons inquiries out of the Balkans," Alexandra answered him, "What's up? Normally you call me in."

"George is barrowing myself and several other operatives for a security mission," Michael told her, "I chose you."

"And you're here to tell me that you chose me because you want me to stop following Darren. Don't bother, I'm convinced he's not suicidal. Not the way I thought at least."

Michael remained silent, waiting for an explanation.

Alexandra pulled her blazer on, and then slid her gun into the back of her waistband. She reached the door, and stopped to look at Michael.

"I gotta go Michael," she told him, "You can stay, but Pepe will harass you to death."

Michael stopped, right in front of her, watching her face, her eyes. She masked the pain well, but not so well that Michael couldn't see it. But he knew her.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

It sounded lame, but it was all he could think to ask.

"I always am," She replied, "We've got two choices. Do or die. My time isn't up, not yet."

Michael nodded, "I'd have chosen you even if you weren't stalking him."

"I stopped," Alexandra told him, "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow morning, 5:00 am," Michael told her, "Pack for a week."

"Bad day?" Eric asked, moving onto a chair in the lounge, "You're not still upset about those flowers, are you?"

Alexandra shook her head, "No. But Michael still raises an eyebrow when I say I'm meeting you. Now he's suspicious."

"All he has to do is watch you with your boyfriend Alex," Eric said, "Even my jaded eye can see that no other man could catch your eye."

Alexandra felt her stomach twist, but she took a sip of her ice tea. She really wanted a beer.

"So you saw us," Alexandra said, "I thought for a moment that you might have been following me."

"I was leaving a client, when I spotted you. I felt like a voyeur watching you too," He told her, "He's not the jealous type, is he?"

Alexandra forced a smile onto her face. She was good, she could hide how much she was hurting.

"Very much so," She told him, "But we keep the job separate, you're safe, so long as you don't send flowers. You got a disk for me."

He pulled it out of his jacket pocket, and handed it to her.

"I don't suppose you can see if you could do me a favor," He asked.

Alexandra smiled a little, "I might be able to, depends on what it is."

"I need to find out who is supplying red moon with their bomb supplies," Eric told her, "They answer to a faction of Red cell; some people I'm sure you're familiar with. Red Cell is probably looking to clean house, stem some leaks."

Alexandra nodded, "I'll see what I can do."

Nikita sat at the head of their bed, in the middle and watched Michael pack. His wardrobe for work had not changed despite their relationship. Black, black and black. When they'd first got together, she'd been surprised to find out his underwear was white and not black.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?" Nikita asked him.

"I don't know," Michael replied, "We'll talk about it over dinner."

Nikita knew what that meant. He had to tell her something, outside of their home just in case it was being monitored.

It rankled Nikita that their home wasn't quite the sanctuary she wanted it to be. But their marriage existed as a compromise, they were lucky to have any kind of marriage at all.

But she only nodded.

Michael chose a restaurant with a terrace and a table in the far corner. The table was small, just big enough for two people. He ordered a bottle of wine for them.

"George needs a team for a week, possibly two. Operations and Madeline are nervous. George hasn't told them why he's barrowing us."

"They're nervous about anything you do with George," Nikita replied, "I'm sure they're feeling their retirement breathing down their necks."

"Be careful while I'm gone," Michael told her.

Nikita smiled, "As long as you promise to come back."

Michael brushed his lips across hers. He'd come back from anything for Nikita.

"You know, Alex and Darren are not the only people feeling a little tension right now and I'd bet money that Madeline was behind it."

Michael slid his hand along his wife's thigh, his fingers possessively squeezing, just a little, "Go on."

He'd had suspicions himself, that Madeline was behind a lot of the problems going on in between some key operatives right now, but he hadn't had time to delve into it too deeply. It was one of those things that wasn't life threatening, not critical and it had only become obvious recently when she boldly brought in another sports trainer and assigned her to work with Stephen. Kristie had been paired with David. Madeline had been hoping to see some tension, but nothing profound had happened. Kristie smirked with amusement, Stephen sweated for a moment and then they all got on with the business of recovering. Madeline had looked for some sign of strain and seemed irritated when nothing happened.

"Well, you saw the whole thing with the new trainer and Stephen," Nikita began, "And we're all painfully aware of what's going on with Alexandra and Darren. We know our Intel was bad for that mission anyhow, Darren was one of the poorest choices available considering what was really going on. Selecting Alex to go after an informant of minimal help to us and then putting her in a position to work with him a lot too fits right in with this theory. Darren's going to start to get stark raving jealous over it soon, no matter what he thinks he is becoming. Then there is Kim and Tony. Tony's been doing hits - a little to close to his real life before Section. That could have set Kim off, considering she would never have tolerated that if they weren't in Section," Nikita started.

"But inside Section she accepts that he's under orders," Michael added.

"Exactly. Kim never should have been a cold op and never should have been on a team with Tony considering their relationship. Yet Madeline pushes her into the field with Tony right there to stress out over it. They just managed to work through the tension and get on with living."

Michael nodded slowly. He hadn't been aware that there was any tension between Kim and Tony - another thing that had escaped his notice. Of course, they'd hid it. Even if Tony hadn't tried, Kim would have made sure Section wouldn't notice - or know.

"Then when you get pulled by George and told to select a team, suddenly my schedule if filled to the brim," Nikita replied, "So I don't go with you, but they deprioritize something Alexandra's team was working on. So you take Alex and a few people on her team."

Michael took all this in. He'd never once considered that there would be any concern from Nikita over how closely Michael worked with Alex.

Nikita immediately anticipated what Michael would surmise. She squeezed his hand, "Madeline asked me how well the two of you worked together recently, if there was any residual problems after the Bangkok mission. I thought that was pretty petty and pointless to bring up, but then I was thinking about why she'd bring it up and it all fell into place."

"Divide and conquer," Michael finished.

"Exactly," Nikita replied, "George must be riding them pretty hard and perhaps they're concerned that their positions are going to be re-evaluated."

Michael nodded slightly, taking all this in. On one hand he was irritated that he hadn't seen all the pieces as quickly as Nikita had. But where Michael tended to avoid thinking with his heart, Nikita always considered the heart when she reasoned. It was what made her a good operative. He was proud of her and impressed at the same time that she'd pieced everything together, especially considering that the manipulations had been taking place over months.

"Now," Nikita said, "The question is what their next move will be and what do we do about the havoc their wreaking? Just telling Kris, Stephen, Kim and Tony will most likely be adequate, they've managed on their own to deal with it. But Darren is a basket case right now and Alex is this side of psychotic. Which makes sense that Madeline would concentrate on them. You and I frequently disagree on them."

Michael had been looking down into his wine, and at her last comment, looked over at Nikita, "But we've always been able to agree to disagree."

"True," Nikita said, "But she's grasping right now. I think we have to tell Darren and Alex what we think is happening. Sometimes knowing makes the answer fall into your lap."

Michael nodded and sipped his wine, "He thinks he's turning into his father. I don't believe a conversation will fix this."

"I don't either," Nikita told him, "But it might help. He's the child of a violent alcoholic, he is high risk for violence and substance abuse. He hasn't used, but our job dictates and encourages violence. I can actually follow his line of reasoning. He does need to watch his temper. Part of me says we throw him and Alex in a room together, lock them in and open it up in a month and force them to deal with this. But that's not practical. They'll work it out in time. If we tell them what's going on they can rise to the occasion, where Madeline expects them to fall."

Michael was speechless. He'd always known Nikita was sharp, but he hadn't seen or been able to put all of this together. But he didn't feel threatened by it. Instead, he was proud of her.

"I'll talk to Alexandra," Michael replied, "You'll need to talk to everyone else."

Nikita nodded, "Done."

Michael squeezed her hand, "The existing structure of Section One isn't going to work indefinitely. When our time comes, we'll have to make changes."

Nikita smiled a little. Our time . . . it was Michael's time really, but he'd look to her and his closest friends for council. At least now he had some close friends.

Darren was in Section when she walked in. He hadn't bothered to even try and sleep. She was dressed in dark slim cut pants, medium heeled boots, a leather blazer cut jacket that he knew hid a gun. Her hair looked a little damp still - the wild curls danced at her shoulders. A pair of shades sat in the outside breast pocket of the blazer. She'd put on makeup. She looked cool, confident and sophisticated. He'd expected her to come in looking devastated or at least tired.

She looked over, caught him looking at her. She kept the impassive look on her face and kept walking. Darren didn't know whether to feel relieved or nervous.

"You look like a deer caught in headlights," Kristie commented.

Darren flinched, spinning around in his chair. Kristie stood there, dressed in clothes that looked too big on her. She looked better than she had weeks ago, but she was still painfully thin.

"I imagine everyone here does at one point or another," Darren commented, "I didn't even hear you walk into this room."

"Good," Kristie said, "So … you expected her to be all torn up this morning, huh?"

Darren felt his stomach twist. Did Kristie know what he'd really done?

"She hasn't been taking any of this well," Darren replied, "But I know Michael will protect her. He must have said something to her."

"Nope," Kristie commented, "Michael spent last night with Nikita - all night. He's being pulled out of section for a week or two by the agency. Alex is going with him too by the way."

"Good," Darren replied, hoping he didn't sound nervous. He knew this was leading someplace. Kristie had that 'cat that ate the cream' smug look on her face.

"Are you wondering where all this is leading?" Kristie asked him.

Darren suddenly heard a cold hard edge in her voice and he knew he was in trouble, a lot of trouble. Kristie was pissed. He only nodded.

"Alex wasn't the only person who followed you last night," Kristie told him, "I ran into Kim, she told me she sent Tony after you. So she and I followed too."

Darren nodded. So now everyone thought he'd done what he'd set up Alex to see. He'd expected her to tell them - eventually.

"So what have you got to say for yourself?" Kristie demanded.

Darren blinked, "Nothing. My personal life, my problem."

Kristie cocked her head to one side, "You're an asshole and you're a step away from abeyance. The next hooker you pick up might be Red Cell, or the freedom League. Think about that."

She turned on her heel and walked out. Darren sighed, and leaned back in the chair. He's expected his friends to be irritated at him. He knew he had to start distancing himself from them as well too, but he hadn't considered how hard it was all going to be. Staying away from Alexandra had been sheer torture. He wanted to turn, catch her following him, take her into his arms … but he didn't dare risk it. He didn't know whether to breath a sigh of relief or lament that now his remaining friends were fading away now too.

"I've got a bag of food too," Alexandra told Nikita, setting the dog bed on Nikita's office sofa, along with a paper sack inside the bed. Pepe whimpered, as if he knew she was going to leave him for a while.

"I'll take good care of him," Nikita told her, "He'll gain five pounds while you're gone."

Alexandra lifted the little tan dog, so she was eye to eye with him. Pepe licked her cheek.

"Promise me you'll be a good boy," Alexandra said to him.

Pepe wagged his tail, squirmed to get closer to her. Alexandra hugged him close to her, and then set him down on Nikita's desk.

The team rode in silence to the airport. When they boarded the plane, George was already on it, waiting for them. The briefing began immediately.

"Vladimir Onur is a high ranking General who has been leading the remaining fighting forces in the Balkans through a network of aides," George began, "A peace conference has been scheduled. There are numerous organizations that do not want to see this take place. He sent one of his aides to a meeting two weeks ago. The man was executed a block away from the meeting. Somewhere between the agency and the Sections there is a leak. You're job is to keep this man alive throughout the duration of the meeting," George told them, "You're to have no contact with Section One for the duration of this assignment. The man you're providing security for is difficult at best. He won't make this assignment easy. He's enroot via helicopter now."

Nikita paused at Comm, seeing Stephen standing there, his arms folded across his chest. His body language belied irritation.

"Who's irritating you?" Nikita asked, nodding towards the computer screen Stephen was standing over.

Stephen rolled his eye's, "B - Team. It sounds like one of them exposed themselves and the target disappeared."

Nikita groaned, "Listen, I need to talk to you and Kris over coffee sometime, just to catch up."

Stephen got the message loud and clear. They needed to discuss something outside of Section One.

"Sure," he said, "I'll email you my schedule - and Kris's."

Nikita moved off, moving to the briefing room. Inside, Darren was standing against the back wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked tired, and he was dressed in black. That seemed to be all he wore lately. So much like the Michael of years ago.

Operations walked in a moment after Nikita did and the briefing began.

"The target is Vladimir Onur," Operations began, "A terrorist of the worst kind. He's responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands Bosnians, Croats, Serbs . . ."

Operations continued on, vilifying the target. Section had Intel that the target would be at a public American country western concert in North Carolina in 24 hours. It presented the best opportunity to bring him in. They would leave in 12 hours.

Nikita watched the rest of the operatives file out. Darren got up slowly, looking over at Nikita, and then glancing back to the door Operations and Madeline had disappeared behind.

"He's been in the media an awful lot lately," Darren replied, "And that is a rather public place to bring him in. We could find ourselves all over the front page of every major newspaper across the globe."

Nikita managed a tight smile, "Yeah - we'll have to wear masks - which destroys any chance of being subtle. Do you have time to do some research for me today? After the training session this morning?

"Sure," Darren replied, "Our target?"

"Yeah," Nikita replied, "Subtly, I got a bad feeling about this."