ATTENTION: Stories marked with an * may contain material which would be better appreciated by those over 18. Parental Discretion is advised. This is your responsibility, not ours.


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First off, you have to admit to your addiction.
You have to REALIZE THAT YES YOU ARE ADDICTED.
You, who used to laugh at young girls mooning over teenage idols.
You are now ONE OF THEM.. only worse.
(No Offense meant to the young.. I am jealous..)

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YOU ARE AN LFN ADDICT IF YOU RECOGNIZE 3 OUT OF THE FOLLOWING SIGNS:
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How to tell: (Are you ready?) :

1. Do you have a LFN directory set up on your hard drive. That is the largest directory on your machine? Full of scripts, great messages, responses, etc.

2. Do you tend to want to save EVERY email, just in case you don't receive more and you may want to go back and read something LFN-related? Is this you??? Admit it.. it's the first step.

3. Do you have LFN wallpaper, bit maps, jpgs that you can display of beautiful Roy (or Peta), Ops (whatever), Maddie and of course Birky, whenever the mood hits you, and does the mood hit you often??

4. Do you have CD's just because 1 verse of 1 song was background music for all of 30 seconds? (yes..I am addicted..) .

5. Has your friends and family suffered due to LFN? We are talking.. putting kids and hubbies to bed early so that you can take notes.. yes notes!! during LFN.. THEN..(I'm not through yet) on Friday nite.. You put kids and hubbie to bed early.. so you can TAPE it, you're visciously watching the commercials (MIDOL for PMS.. give me a BREAK!) with your finger posed over the REC button afraid they are going to trick you and you will miss vital seconds.. (I'm addicted.. I admit it..)

6. Have you started 4 different FANFICS and have written yourselves into a corner on every one? Waking up from a deep sleep with another idea and getting out of bed to write it down, before you lose it. (admit it.. )

7 . How many times do you watch your taped episodes? Over 4 each? You are in trouble... watching.. rewinding.. watching... rewind.. watch... rew..I caught the license plate number!! (yes I am addicted..) Do you have lines memorized? (definitely addicted.)

8. Last but not least,, do you now love the name "ROY"? you who use to chuckle and smirk thinking poor smuck guy...stuck with "Roy".. thinking Roy Clark, Roy Rogers.. etc. My new puppy is Roy. (I'm addicted.. I admit it.)

IF YOU HAVE RECOGNISED YOUR ADDICTION: Keep on reading..and good luck. You are not alone!

6 STEP PROGRAM TO RECOVERY: It is possible.. (but who wants to?) Well here goes:

1. We admit we are powerless to stop watching LFN -- over, and over, and over....and over.. and over....

2. We came to believe that a power greater than us could restore us to sanity (forget looking to SECTION 2, cuz we're all in this together). How about Michael for starters? Noooo -- that's not the direction we should head in to 'kick' this thing. Maybe the LOSS of power (i.e. Electric) is the only way... pull the plug!!!

3. Make a fearless inventory of all of our LFN related 'stuff' -- like? Well, wallpaper seems to be big these day; and then there's those CDs we buy JUST for the one song that was played in an ep; and there's the movies we rent (cuz RD's in them, or CHeyn happened to mentioned them, or some other silly reason.. NOT!)... sunglasses, leather jackets, ski jackets..blonde hair dye..(hope not.!).. wire art ...(anyone?), swinging fish.., (I bet someone did!).. list goes on and on.. Pile it up and think.. I am an addict... face it!

4. . After seeing all the priceless paraphanalia you have collected.. Donate it to your nearest sane person.. (let them have some fun for a while..) Or pick your saviour and have them remove all of the above from your vicinity..(Did I really just say that -- it's enuf to get me cancelled!) Warning.. Do Not attempt to contact Roy Dupuis for this job..if the thought even crossed your mind.. your hopeless.. (EJ's out right here...goodbye EJ..)

5. Make a list of all persons we have harmed, as a result of this addiction (the boss who didn't get his work done, the prof who didn't get the paper from one of us, the kids who didn't get dinner -- OH NO!.. and try and think of something good to do for them.. I got it! Take them to Canada to catch a glimpse of LFN crew filming!??? bad idea.. (Shirl is out right here.. goodbye Shirl...)

6. Have a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps...

Yeah, and We "awakened" to realize that we don't want to go there -- therefore, I'm quitting at 6 steps and throwing in the towel. I confess that I'm addicted and DON'T CARE.. what freedom..!!


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