ATTENTION: Stories marked with an * may contain material which would be better appreciated by those over 18. Parental Discretion is advised. This is your responsibility, not ours.


Nikita picked up the CD Walter had given her as a gag. The name caught her eye and she shrugged. Country wasn't really her thing, but who knows? She put it in, hit random and walked into the kitchen. The chorus, a few moments later, stopped her dinner preparations. She walked back to her stereo and started the song over so she could listen to all of the lyrics.

Love is everything
money don't mean a thing
I've been around enough to know it's true
Life is short and rough
So go and tell the ones you love
how much they mean
Because love is everything

By the end of the song, she was sitting down with unshed tears in her eyes. She got up, started the CD from the beginning and sat back down to listen to all of the songs. She forgot about dinner. She forgot about the man coming over to join her for dinner. She forgot about the time and just let the music speak to her.

The first song made her laugh, but the second song made her cry.

I don't want to lose you, but even a fool can see

Everyday your love is slippin' a little bit further away from me

So I'll be the one to say goodbye, ‘cause your heart's already gone

Pack my bags take the midnight train unless you say I'm wrong

Change my mind, say you couldn't live without me

Say you're crazy about me with a look, with a touch

Change my mind, lookin' in your eyes for the love we left behind

It's not too late to change my mind

Somethin's come between us, it's not another lover

Seems one night we just stopped tryin' to please each other

If it's really over why can't I walk away

Tell me I'm makin' a big mistake, beg me to say

Change my mind, say you couldn't live without me

Say you're crazy about me with a look, with a touch

Change my mind, lookin' in your eyes for the love we left behind

It's not too late to change my mind

Give me half a reason to give it one more try

We could leave this leavin' behind

Change my mind, say you couldn't live without me

Say you're crazy about me with a look, with a touch

Change my mind, lookin' in your eyes for the love we left behind

It's not too late to change my mind

It's not too late to change my mind



It fit her feelings about Michael and their relationship since she had come back to Section over a year ago to a T. Even when Jergun had come between them, she still believed he felt something special towards her. Now, she was beginning to doubt it again. She knew she loved him, would never stop even with all the lies and manipulation between them, but she had a sinking feeling she was losing him. And she didn't know what to do.

The rest of the songs spoke to her, phrases reminding her of Michael, Walter, and Birkoff, even Madeline and Operations. It was right after the first song that had grabbed her, track nine, finished that the doorbell rang. It startled her but she didn't move- she just told the person the door was open and listened to the last song.

Michael glanced at the kitchen and noticed dinner wasn't even started. Then the music hit him- it wasn't her usual Morphine, it was soft. He spotted Nikita sitting in a chair, intently listening to the words. He caught her wiping at her eyes when the song finished.

Nikita shut the CD off and turned to head toward the kitchen. Michael's presence startled her. She actually jumped when she spotted him. She looked at her watch and groaned. Nearly an hour had passed!

"I'm sorry, Michael, I got caught up in the music." Nikita shrugged. "If you don't mind waiting, it will only take about a half hour."

Michael smiled and shook his head. "Why don't we just go out? My treat."

Nikita's eyes widened then she smiled. "All right but give me a few minutes to change."

Michael nodded and watched her turn the CD back on, selected her song, turned up the volume, and went into her loft/bedroom to change. Michael smiled as he heard her sing along until the meaning of the words hit him. Did they have significance for Nikita? Was she trying to send him a message? Or had she just liked the song? Was he losing her again or did she feel she was losing him?



It was over desert that he finally brought the subject of the CD up. "Nikita, what CD was that you were listening so intently to tonight?"

Nikita chuckled. "Remember the gag gift Walter sent me? That country CD entitled Faces by John Berry? That was the CD that caught me tonight. I put it in on a whip and the chorus to track nine had me going over and starting it from the beginning and sitting down to listen." Nikita sighed. "But that isn't what you really want to talk about. You want to talk about the song I selected when I went to change. You want to know what it meant, if anything."

Michael's face was blank, as usual, until he realized the importance of the conversation. He gave her a small, serious smile and nodded. And for once, he asked the questions without having her come up with them. "Were you trying to send me a subtle message? Am I losing you again? Or do you feel you are losing me?"

Nikita blinked back tears. Maybe she wasn't losing him after all! Michael's eyes betrayed his shock at her misty eyes. "I was losing you again, wasn't I?" He asked, fear coloring his voice slightly, as he reached out for her hand.

Nikita couldn't find her voice so all she could do was shake her head violently ‘no' as she took his hand. Nikita choked on the words. "No! No, Michael, you weren't losing me." Nikita closed her eyes, controlled her emotions, opened her eyes again and continued with her admission. "I had an uneasy feeling I was losing you."

Michael's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open slightly at the shock her words gave him. He squeezed her hand tightly, silently cursing his need to be split in half all the time, keeping his emotions separate and secret from the world. "Why?" He asked softly.

Nikita shrugged. "I don't know, Michael. It was this gut feeling. You weren't acting any different towards me, if anything, you were more opened towards me, but I still felt it, Michael."

"You aren't losing me, Nikita. I will always be there for you, just as I know that you will always be there for me." Michael smiled brilliantly at her. He excused himself to go to the bathroom.



"Care to dance, mademoiselle?" Michael asked softly, his French accent rolling the words musically.

Nikita chuckled and excepted the hand. Michael had turned on her radio when the had returned to her apartment for coffee. She wasn't paying attention to the radio announcer's words until she heard the next dedication.

"And this one goes out by special request to a very special woman, Nikki. Mike wanted to say you are his only light in a world full of darkness, that he wouldn't be who he was now without you. Well, buddy, here's your song and I hope you can convince her to stay."

Nikita looked into Michael's eyes and found him smiling. She smiled back, swaying with him to the music, until she began to understood the words of the song. It was about a man who couldn't say he loved a woman with words so he wrote his feelings for her in a song.

She stopped swaying and looked at him with a soft smile. "You convinced me." She whispered before she laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Michael held her tightly and began to sway again to the music. Nikita couldn't be sure but she thought she heard him whisper "Thank you, God."

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, softly swaying and holding on tightly to each other.



One morning the next week, with her mail, she found a package. The name brought a smile to her lips. Inside was a CD and a note telling her to play it.

When ever that feeling of losing me begins to worry you, put this in an play it. Michael's voice came through her speakers. Nikita smiled. The entire CD was of the song he had dedicated to her the week before.



"Michael, thank you. These are just a few I thought you might enjoy. Play them and think of me." The note accompanying the CD read. Michael laughed as he began to listen to a selection of Nikita's favorite tunes. But when the tyoe of music changed, he frowned, it wasn't a Morphine or the like song, it was softer, Chicago. But when he began to recognize the song he laughed, "What kind of man would I be without you."

Nikita's voice was heard then, thought you might like that song- but you're the man in the song, Michael. She laughed and another song came on, another old Chicago song, "You're the inspiration" followed by "I don't wanna live without your love."



"Walter, I owe you a big one." Nikita came up behind him and planted a kiss on his cheek when he turned to face her. She had just dropped off the CD she had made for Michael in his office.

"Hmm. I could get used to that kind of greeting!" Walter smiled and rasied his eyebrows. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"Your gag CD, Faces by John Berry." Nikita smiled. "It helped me to remember and believe in something again."

Walter smiled. "Let me guess, was it the song ‘She's takin' a shine'?"

"Nope, but I liked that song. Gotta run, Walter!" And she was on her way.

The End


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