Madeline's silence told him all he needed to know. He slipped his glasses off and rubbed his temples. The splitting headache that had developed when the mission had failed the day before was still there, pounding away.

How the hell had a mole gotten inside? His mind raced back over the previous year, looking for any indication that he had missed. Two orders stood out from above- Nikita's cancellation and this failed- no, doomed, mission. The number of casualties of leaders was higher than normal too, he reasoned. And now his top operative was dead or more than likely worse than dead.

"Nikita was the only one who could be trusted to retrieve Michael. Birkoff and Walter let their anger and betrayal color their actions against him. They will only help him so that he may continue to suffer and they will delay as much as possible. If Michael is to be found alive, we need their speed, no matter their feelings for him." Operations' voice held no emotion in it.

Madeline agreed. "She would never have let Michael get into this mess. I will get them moving." And she stood up.

"I have to report to George. I'll be gone for six hours." Operations stated just before she opened the door.

Madeline glanced back at him and nodded slowly before she opened the door and walked out.

Operations looked down from his perch and shook his head. Two of the best agents gone within a year! He saw the tension everyone held around them.

Birkoff refused to leave his computers. No matter how much he blamed and hated Michael for Nikita's cancellation, it still hit him hard to see Michael- superhuman, robotic Michael- taken.

Operations shifted, his mind returning to the day the three- Michael, Walter, and Birkoff- had come back from the mission that had canceled Nikita. Walter and Birkoff had ignored the two laws of the Section- everyone was expendable and everyone took orders or were canceled- and placed all of the blame on Michael. What was worse was watching Michael's calm acceptance of the blame and his own belief that he was guilty! Because of this, as the days went by, he had lost his edge.

Returning his thoughts to the present, Operations glanced towards Walter's station. In that moment, he knew he himself had no choice- again.

He moved back to his desk, sent an email on a two hour delay to Madeline and slipped out of Section headquarters.

The two hour flight down the coast didn't change his belief that this was the only way. He never went back on a decision, never gave them, once decided, a second thought. The trait had been bred into him over the 25 years he had spent in Section One.

The club was crowded- as always on a Thursday night- with those who wanted to start the weekend early. She smiled, served up drinks, and gave advice to those who asked. But all the time, she never forgot her training, she searched the room constantly, notified the bouncers who was carrying what and who could be trouble and warily remained aloof from all those who tried to get close. She couldn't afford to ever forget what she had been and how she had gotten out of it.

And as always, thoughts of her past brought up Michael and a certain sadness in her eyes- the only emotion she had never found a way to hide or repress. Suddenly she noted the loner and froze in the middle of shaking a Manhattan. Then she remembered what she was doing and chuckled.

"Girl! Are you ever paranoid!" She chided herself and finished with the drink.

As the loner approached the bar, he whispered "Josephine."

She barely heard the whispered word. So, her intuition hadn't been wrong after all! She forced a smile and kept her eyes empty of the shock she felt. "What would you like, sir?"

"A perfect Manhattan on the rocks." He replied, slipping her a piece of paper with the bills he paid for the drink and disappeared into the crowd.

She repressed the urge to send the two bouncers after him- knowing that it would only get the two men hurt.

She glared at him as she left the bar two hours later when her shift ended. "What the hell-"

"If that was the case, I would have sent Michael a year ago!" He cut her off. "The Section, no, not the Section. I need your help."

Operations declared, using surprise to his advantage.

But Nikita wasn't baited as easily as before with her emotions. She only looked at him suspiciously. "Let's go!" She abruptly headed down the dark street.

He had no choice- he followed her in silence. They didn't stop- or speak- until they reached the boardwalk.

When Nikita finally spoke, it was in a flat whispered demand. "What happened to Michael?" It was the only reason, she knew, that he, Operations, would come to her in person- anything else, he would order her to be brought back under any means possible.

Operations statement was simple and to the point. "He was taken."

Nikita just stared out at the ocean and waited for the rest.

Operations hid a smile, so she had finally learned from Michael and her freedom to show no emotions. "There is more than just a failed mission here. I need someone outside the Section doing this if Michael is to be recovered alive. Someone is attempting to destroy the Section from the inside out. Too many team leaders have been dying lately to be coincidental and now Michael being taken." He started.

"You trust no one." Nikita nodded. "Do you know where he is yet?"

"I have Birkoff on it as we speak. We should know soon. I just hope he doesn't let his hatred delay him too much." Operations told her. At the shock that flashed in her eyes, he explained- this once. "You are dead to them, Nikita. Michael is the one he and Walter blame. They want him alive so his suffering for killing you continues for a long time."

Nikita sighed. "Make sure Birkoff does not delay. As soon as you know, call me and we will set up a meet. You can bring me the information and the gear then."

"Nikita," Operations voice stopped her. "It will be a few days before you get him out. He, I know, is somewhere in North Africa. A day to get there. Surveillance for a couple days. Do not allow your emotions to rush this. There is no one else to send after you." Operations was his old self- harsh and direct.

As she turned to go, she whispered, "I know."

"Birkoff! I need his location NOW!" Operations thundered as he entered the Section.

Birkoff jumped and went back to his computer. Within ten minutes he had the information and was heading for Operations' office. He was surprised to find Walter there also.

"I need all the intel you can pull on this area within three hours, Birkoff. Walter, I want a fully loaded, ready-for-every-situation arsenal for one person ready within the same three hours. Get it done now!" Operations barked, then dismissed them.

They stared at each other as soon as they were out of the office. Who was the lone operative? Why only one? And the final question that weighed the heaviest- Was Michael that expendable?

"You, Madeline, Walter, and Birkoff, three hours, my old apartment."

"What are we doing here?" Birkoff asked as they all recognized the building.

Operations remained silent and keyed into the dark apartment. No one spoke but all felt the presence with them in the pitch black room.

The sudden bright light blinded them for a full second before they located the figure. Another second passed as they recognized the figure. Shock set in then.

"Madeline, I want the plan first. Birkoff, give me the intel next and, Walter, your toys are last." Nikita demanded. She had shut down her emotions completely when Operations had first found her again. They, in this mission, were a liability that would not only get Michael and herself killed, but these four as well if the traitor was not found and fast.

"Sugar?" Walter was the first to speak.

Nikita sighed. "After I retrieve Michael we will talk of this. I don't have the time right now." She told them sharply. Softly, she added, "I am sorry."

Birkoff and Walter nodded. They knew her feelings for Michael. Both, though, could sense the change in their friend. She had become more like Michael- detached from her emotions.

Operations was looking at Madeline. He caught the surprise in her eyes. He also saw a slight betrayal. Then he watched as she focused on the plan she had thought up to get Michael out.

"Red Cell again?" Nikita was surprised. She had thought after her and Michael's capture they had gotten them all.

"The Agency kept two of the heads alive. Someone up there is a mole. I am working on that part. Nikita's job is to get Michael out alive and report on their forces. Birkoff and Walter will be close by to help you, Nikita. Madeline will take care of the Section as I find the Agency mole." Operations declared.

"And George?" Madeline asked.

"I will deal with him. If he asks, I am on a mission." Operations answered her swiftly, not looking her in the eyes.

Nikita isolated herself on the flight to read the intel reports and study the schematics of the compound. She cast a sad glance over to Walter and Birkoff's sleeping forms and struggled to push her emotions down. Too much was at stake to deal with the sadness she felt at the moment.

The surveillance was slow, taking three days, not the two she had anticipated. She had barely slept in the last five days since Operations had approached her. But, as she entered the compound they were holding Michael in, she felt nothing- not even the bullet that creased her left side. Her only objective and concern was getting Michael out alive. That was her focus- she let nothing else interfere with her goal.

"He is in the cell on the right at the end of the hallway." Birkoff's voice echoed in her ear through the comlink.

Muttering to herself, she shook her head. "Figures!"

She wasn't prepared for the sight of Michael so badly beaten. She barely recognized his face. She swore as she lifted him over her shoulder. His unconscious groans of pain blew holes through her heart as she carried him out of the building to the van where Walter and Birkoff were waiting for her.

"Madeline, have you heard from Operations? How is his mission going?" Birkoff was on a line to Madeline with Walter droving the van away as the explosive charges went off around the compound- Walter's touch on the perimeter and Nikita's on the interior as she had gone in. Nikita was busy checking over Michael's injuries, besides, no one at the Section knew she was alive, let alone working for them again!

"It has been taken care of, Birkoff." Operations answered for himself. "And you and Walter, was the retrieval a success?"

"Completely." Birkoff nodded.

"Let him go." Nikita came up behind Madeline as she watched Michael's limp body through the glass window two days later.

Madeline turned, an eyebrow raised, in response to Nikita's words. It was all the question she would ever give.

"He doesn't remember. Let him go. Let me set up a life for him outside this place. Let him go." Nikita expounded on her words.

"It is not that simple and you know it. If he regains his memory for any reason, it is a risk." Madeline shook her head.

"Madeline, he will never regain his memory- the doctors are almost positive. I'll have someone monitoring him 24-7. I'll tell the place that he was a POW. Let him go, please." Nikita whispered as she watched Michael's silent form. "I will take his place."

Madeline turned sharply.

"I am as good as he is, or I will be soon. Let him go, Madeline, and I won't argue with or upset the Section. I'll take his place here without complaints or questions." Nikita whispered, giving up everything she once thought she held above everything else in this world.

Madeline nodded. "I will talk this over with Operations, Nikita. It is the best I can do."

"If not, what will you do with him?" Nikita asked slowly.

"If he still shows potential, he will be recruited again, if not, cancellation." Madeline told her. She squeezed the younger woman's shoulder and turned away. She walked down the hall but no one noticed the emotion- sadness- in her eyes.

"Nikita for Michael?" Operations laughed.

"Not the old Nikita, Operations. She is dead. A new Nikita- a Nikita that is like Michael in every way. No emotions, no questions. Obedience and strength." Madeline shook her head.

Operations looked down over the Section and nodded slightly. "Let her do it."

Madeline smiled as she walked out of the office.

"If he ever shows signs of remembering you will go in and cancel him, Nikita." Operations told her as she was preparing for Michael's transfer to a hospital in the area she had chosen to set up his new life in. Nikita nodded. "I know."

For four years, Nikita worked as the new Michael. For four years, Michael, now Mischka Travinski, was the sheriff of Logan county, Colorado. For four years, Nikita watched him regain his soul and emotions from afar- reports by her watcher. For four years, she lived through Mischka's freedom.

Until one day it all came crashing down around her.

"Either you cancel him or you recruit him, Nikita." Operations had told her. Nikita closed her eyes on the flight west, still hearing his words echo through her mind. After four years, her worst nightmare was becoming reality.

How could she bring him back to the Section? After his time living and regaining his soul, how could she take it all away again?

There was only one option. No matter his opinions of her and what she had done, it was still his choice. He was the one who had to decide what was going to happen with the rest of his life.

"You are Mischka's sister? You look nothing like him." the nurse looked suspicious.

"Sister-in-law. His brother, my husband, died four years ago. I have been out of the country since then. I finally decided to come see him and I arrived to find this." Nikita sighed. Worry and pain causing her eyes to mist and her appearance become haggard. Not that they weren't true emotions- she was worried, she was in pain for what she was about to do, and she was suddenly so very tired of it all.

"Nikita." Michael whispered as he saw her enter the room.

"Hush, rest. We will talk later." Nikita silenced him. He closed his eyes as she took a hold of his hand.

Bullet to the head. Trying to stop a gang of rustlers. A hero, saving the lives of three people. A sheriff with compassion. A man with a truly gentle heart and love for everyone.

The comments she had overheard about Mischka, the sheriff, from breakfast at the diner, filtered through her mind as she studied the man he had become. She let her tears fall silently.

"Nikita," Michael's voice questioned her, but it was Mischka she saw lying there in the hospital bed.

"The decision is yours. Recruitment or cancellation." Nikita whispered softly.

"Nikita," he lifted his hand to stop her from getting up.

"Not now, Michael. Think it over. I have rustlers to catch." Nikita smiled sadly before she turned from him and walked out.

Ironic, Michael thought. It had always been he who kept the emotions hidden, told her the lies and half-truths. Now it was she, Nikita, who was not telling him everything, hiding her feelings and thoughts from him. He didn't like it anymore than she had before.

Nikita, why did you do this to me? He asked himself, not being able to stop the question or find an answer to it.

For two days, Nikita looked for the rustlers. For two days, she refused to see Michael. For two days, Michael thought about everything that had happened in his life. For two days, he tried to decide what he should do.

"Mischka, your sister-in-law is amazing! She caught the rustlers!" One of the nurses informed him on one of his check-ups.

Michael smiled sadly. "That she is. That she is."

That night, as Michael lay sleeping, Nikita stole into his room and watched him. She knew she couldn't do it, let him come back. It wasn't fair to Mischka and she knew from the townspeople's talk that he would not be able to handle the killing all over again.

She had once promised herself she would never lie to him, no matter that he lied to her- she wouldn't sink to that level. She broke that promise that night. She made the decision for him.

"I am sorry, Michael. I love you." she whispered as the silenced report of the gun she held rang through the room.

The tears fell as she walked out of the room and hospital without a backward glance.

"Your job here is done. Return to the Section for new orders." Nikita ordered her watcher.

"He would not survive here" was all the debriefing Nikita gave Operations and Madeline. There was nothing else she could say.

Nikita smiled back at him. He and Walter were her tether to reality- and sanity! "Howdy, Birkoff. What's up this lovely dark morning? (It was 06:00 GMT- AUTHOR'S NOTE: GMT is 5 hours after EST). Death threat to the American President? Nuclear weapons stolen from Russia? British Parliament member's son nabbed and to be trade for military secrets or political favors? Or was he nabbed by the IRA as revenge for the last killings? Or there is the ever dangerous mission- contact with another planet and they did not come in peace!"

It was their usual chatter as they entered the briefing room- she tried to guess the mission profile while Birkoff laughed at her outlandish ideas.

As soon as she entered the room, though, she knew something was wrong. That was the one thing she refuse to give up- her intuition. She no longer questioned orders, she followed them to the letter- mostly.

"Last night the Directory was breached." Operations closed his eyes. "Six files were compromised."

"We are five. Who is the sixth?" Nikita asked.

"Michael."

Nikita closed her eyes. It was happening all over again. "Why only us? And who did it?"

"Legion and we are the top Section One players." Madeline supplied those answers.

"Then why Michael? The man is dead- has been for eight years!" Walter roared.

"No. Only four." Nikita whispered softly.

"Only four? Then where was he?" Birkoff asked quietly, breaking the ensuing silence.

"He didn't remember anything." Nikita tried to explain. "I gave him freedom for four years. There was a shooting. The trauma of taking a bullet to the head returned his memories. But he was no longer Michael. He was Mischka, sheriff of a Colorado county. A kind, decent, loving man. He wouldn't have survived this again after that. I couldn't sentence him to this all over again- not when he had found his soul again."

Walter and Birkoff stared at her. "You canceled him? After he risked everything to give you your freedom, you canceled him?"

Nikita's eyes were bleak. "I had no choice." She whispered before she turned back to Operations and Madeline. "What do you need me to do?" Madeline went over the mission profile but her mind was not on it. Her mind processed the emotions Nikita was refusing to show. Desperation and fear, but above all, emotional pain.

Infiltrating Legion was almost too easy. Destroying their copies of the Directory files, cake. Leaving was not so easy.

"Get her out of there, team two! Team one, back up team two!" Operations barked his orders.

Madeline laid a hand upon his arm. "She will not die. She is strong- as strong as Michael when it comes to the pain." "No. For once, she has Michael beaten. Her ability to withstand emotional pain as well as the physical pain is phenomenal." Operations declared. "I never thought her capable, Madeline. But when she requested Michael's freedom, her eyes were hollow and even more bleak than Michael's ever were. I thought I had found the perfect operative." "And now?" Madeline promoted.

"I have a feeling I should never have canceled her all those years ago." Operations state quietly and turned from Birkoff's station, heading for his office.

"The orders were from above us, Birkoff, and he knew Michael would never follow through." Madeline felt Birkoff tense at Operations' words.

"And she canceled him!" Birkoff shook his head in disgust.

"Seymour, if Michael truly did forget this place and found happiness, could you have brought him back to this?" She asked him quietly. "Especially if you love his as much as Nikita does Michael?"

Nikita simply took the beatings the guard inflicted upon her with muffled "Hmuphs." she distanced herself from the pain with the knowledge that Michael was free from this life.

Team Two reached her just as the guard was going to shoot her. Nikita wished they had come a few seconds later.

She awoke to find herself in Medlab. Walter and Birkoff were on opposite sides of her bed. She tried to smile. "Hi, guys."

"Welcome back, sugar." Walter smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

In that moment, she knew both of them wouldn't forgive her for canceling Michael- no matter her reasons. "I am sorry." she whispered and closed her eyes again.

The next sound she heard was Operations' voice dismissing Walter and Birkoff. "Nikita." Operation called her name.

She only turned her head to look at him.

With his words, she was glad that the team had found her before the guard pulled the trigger. "The man watching Michael was found dead." Nikita stared at him, barely comprehending his words. No! He couldn't know!- Dead? How? What about Michael? The questions ran through her mind at lightening speed.

"I am serious, Nikita, this time. Either cancel him or recruit him. If you do not, I will send another to cancel him." Operations stared her down.

She nodded and struggled to sit up.

"Where the hell is she? She couldn't just walk out of the Section! She was injured for cripesakes!" Walter bellowed at the Medlab technicians.

"She is fine, Walter. I gave her some time off." Operations declared behind the older man. "Give her some time, Walter. She needs to be alone for a while."

"I could activate her tracker." Birkoff announced two days later to Madeline and Walter.

"You will do no such thing if you want her to come hack alive." Operations stopped them. "Let her go for now, if you want her to come back."

There was something going on here he wasn't telling them, Madeline could tell with the way Operations held himself away from everyone else.

"Mischka! Down!" Nikita screamed as she fired one shot.

"Who are you?" Michael- Mischka- growled. He felt this stranger would only bring more trouble. He already had a murder on his hands, now someone was gunning for him!

I am Josephine. I was sent to help you." Nikita decided against using her true name. If Legion was the group up to this, which she was reasonably sure they were, there was no need to hand them information! "By whom?" Mischka glared at her suspiciously.

"a mutual friend." She answered cryptically. Her eyes scanned the area constantly. Something felt wrong. "Let's get out of here." Nikita shifted slightly in front of him.

The bullet entered her right shoulder. Mischka fired twice at the man- knocking his gun away first and blowing apart the man's knee with the second shot.

That illustrated just how much he had changed to Nikita- and why she had been correct to cause a second head wound that robbed him of his memory again. It also made her realize she wouldn't be able to ill him. Where the hell did that leave her?

"Come on, let's get this guy to the jail." Nikita walked over to the fallen man.

"You need medical attention, Josephine." Mischka stated as they arrived at the jail.

"So does this man. I will be fine. I've lived through worse." She smiled.

He stared at her. Her smile! It was so familiar, yet he couldn't place it. Shaking his head, he turned to the prisoner. "What do you want and who are you working for?"

All the man did was snarl.

Nikita sighed. "Go for a long walk, Mischka." She ordered quietly. There was only one way to get a Legion soldier to talk and she did not want to do it in front of Michael- Mischka, she mentally corrected herself.

Mischka stared at the woman then suddenly turned and walked out.

Nikita had her answers an hour later.

"He's dead." Mischka stated, staring at her. "He is." Nikita agreed. "Let's go."

"I can't leave."

Nikita sighed. "You always were difficult." And she shot him- with a tranq gun, of course.

"He remembers nothing of the last eight years, Nikita." Operations found her in the training room. "He wants to see you."

"No." Nikita refused, her breathing labored from her run. Her shoulder was still sore- the bullet had been removed only two days ago, when she had returned with Mischka-no, Michael . She hadn't gone to see him since their return.

"Stop this, Nikita!" Operations barked.

Nikita continued to run. "I can't face him yet, whether he remembers or not. I remember, Operations."

"Go see Madeline." he ordered.

Nikita nodded.

"Why did you bring him back?" Madeline asked her.

"Because it was either cancel him or recruit him. If I didn't, another would have been sent." Nikita sighed. "I didn't want him here, Madeline, but neither could I kill him. I remembered his words- this was his second chance, at least he had lived."

"What do you think we should do about his memory loss?"

Nikita sighed. "I will tell him the truth. I owe him that much."

"Nikita, there is no-"

"There is, Madeline. I can deal with him shutting me out. I won't be able to de with betrayal if I lie to him now and remembers in the future. I can't lie to him." Nikita cut her off. "Send him to my- his office in two hours. I need to go home for a little while."

"Have a seat, Michael." Nikita invited him in. She had felt his presence even as her back was to the door.

"You've taken-"

But Nikita cut him off. "It is your office, Michael. I was using it merely until you were ready again."

She couldn't do this- not here! She realized. "Let's go." Nikita stood up abruptly.

"Where?"

"Outside. I can't do this inside this place." Nikita declared. She lead him out of the Section and they got in her car.

She stopped at a nearby park and lead Michael to a bench near the pond. Without looking at him, she began to speak. She gave her actions and her reasons as if it were a debriefing with Operations- no emotion, just a flat, empty voice speaking.

For two hours, she spoke. Then, as Michael's silence dragged on, she left. What had remained of her heart and soul disappeared.

She didn't return to Section One until the next morning and by then it was too late.

The place was dark- it was only 07:30 GMT (02:30 EST) after all. Not many people would be up or there at that time. But she found Madeline's light on and immediately went into her office.

The sight shocked her.

"Nikita." Madeline breathed in pain.

She was at the older woman's side in a flash. "Shush. I'll get you to Medlab."

"No!" Madeline grabbed her arm. "It's not safe. We were overrun." Nikita stared. In one fluid move, she picked up Madeline, walked over to her secret wall exit and left.

"She was shot in a mugging. I saw the man attack her." Nikita explained to the cop. She even gave a description of the man. "Doctor, will she be okay?"

"She will live, yes." The doctor nodded. "But she will have a permanent limp."

She was waiting in her- Michael's office an hour later- three hours after she had found Madeline.

"Have you seen Operations or Madeline?" she asked as he walked in. Michael looked up, surprised. "No, why?"

"They are missing." Nikita shrugged. She didn't mention that Walter and Birkoff were also missing and the operatives were not any she'd seen before. He wouldn't know the difference.

"Maybe they wanted to be alone." Michael smirked. a lot of operatives speculated about a relationship between the two heads of Section.

Nikita smiled. "Perhaps." She left- heading for Birkoff's station.

"Gotcha!" Nikita smiled. With two more commands, she plunged the Section into darkness and cut the computer capabilities just after she opened the two interrogation rooms that held the true operatives of Section One.

The blasts surprised the "operatives" as well as the sleeping gas.

"How did you know?" Michael glared at her from his confinement in an interrogation room.

"I found Madeline- alive."

"Well, you will never find the real Michael or Operations!" "Michael" laughed madly.

Nikita's smile stopped his laugh. Her words froze him. "I already know where they are."

"Nikita, Birkoff and I are coming with you." Walter declared as she exited the interrogation room.

"No." Nikita shook her head. "Walter, you must keep the Section going. Birkoff, you need to repair the damage. None of this can get put or all of us will be exterminated. You both know that. Keep up appearances. I will take two operatives with me. Outfit Carl and Trae and have them met me in the briefing room in one hour." Nikita ordered.

One hour and five minutes later, Walter and Birkoff whore- she had gone in on her own! All they could do was track her progress and send a team to be waiting for her on the way our- only after Birkoff finished with the computers!

It took another hour before they were fully capable Madeline was back by then.

Operations, she found, was drugged to a stupor but he could walk of his own violation. Michael, he took longer for her to find. And again he was beaten harshly. She bent to pick him up and found him watching her. "Nikita."

"Hush, Michael. I've got you now." She silenced him before she picked him up.

Back at Operations cell, she lead him out with a rope tying they together. Halfway out, she took two bullets- one to the left thigh, the other to her right shoulder again.

At that moment, Walter and Birkoff's backup team attacked.

The four of them were in Medlab. Operations to detox, Madeline to recover and rehabilitate her injured leg, Michael to heal and regain consciousness, and Nikita to oversee them all. She only spent one day in Medlab on her back- long enough for her leg to start healing.

Birkoff worked on upgrading and implementing new precautions and security measures while Walter worked on improving moral in the Section.

Madeline found Nikita brushing strands of hair out of Michael's- the real Michael's face. "He will survive, Nikita." She whispered as she limped into the room.

"It is not the physical injuries I worry about. It is the emotional pain I will cause him when he wakes up. If he doesn't remember I am going to tell him." Nikita declared.

"When did they take him?" Madeline changed the subject- she knew nothing would change the woman's mind.

"Not long ago. The day before I disappeared from Medlab." Nikita sighed.

"Nikita, you have to do what your heart tells you is right." Madeline whispered before she turned and left.

Nikita laughed harshly at the irony. Madeline was finally being honest with her- only to have Michael turn to hate her after she told him the truth. She had hated Michael at times when he had manipulated her emotions for the good of the Section. Now, he was going to hate her for giving him the only things she had always wanted- freedom and a real life.

She was gone when he was fully awake. And true to Michael- he left Medlab too early.

Nikita watched him from Operations' tower. "He doesn't remember the last eight years. He seems to think it is because he was captive for that long. He remembers the couple of days before you rescued him." Nikita shook her head. Madeline's words from the day after he had regained consciousness came back to her. Now, as she listened to Operations speak, she knew it was time to stop hiding from Michael and tell him the truth.

"It does not matter, Operations. I will tell him the whole truth today."

Operations stared at her.

Nikita's chuckle was hollow. She had finally succeeded in getting a reaction from the man- finally after eleven years (including her two of training). "There is no order you can give me that I would follow about this. I will not lie to him."

Operations nodded as she walked towards the door. As she left, he whispered, "Nikita, you are the best I have."

"Michael, come." Nikita decided now was the time.

"I have to see Madeline. I will meet up with you later." Michael shook his head and continued on- he had no intention of doing what he said. Nikita shrugged and followed him right in. She read the surprise in Michael's slight tensing. She ignored it. "It is time. He'll report to you when we are finished." Nikita told the other woman.

Madeline allowed a little sadness to seep into her eyes as she nodded at Nikita. Turning to Michael, it was gone. "Michael, come see me first thing tomorrow morning."

She drove him to the same park she had taken the imposter to. She even sat on the same bench. Her words, though, were completely different. "Before those last few days of torture, what do you remember?" Nikita asked softly, facing him.

Michael thought for a moment. "An explosion. Sending you a message to leave before the explosion."

Nikita nodded. "You set me free, Michael."

Michael nodded. He understood that- but why was she in Section One again? HE asked her about it.

Her eyes turned bleak just before she focused on the distant water. "Operations came to me a year after you freed me. I guess you weren't performing as well as before I died.

"Anyway, he asked me to help retrieve you from Glass Curtain. By the time I got to you, they had had you for about a week." Nikita sucked in a harsh breath as a picture of him at the time flashed in her mind. "I could barely recognize your face, Michael.

"Operations found the mole. I got you out and destroyed the compound. When you came to in Medlab, you remembered nothing of your past." Turning back to look at him, Nikita whispered, "I traded my freedom and life for yours. I convinced Operations and Madeline to let you go. Of course, we had a Section friend watching over you.

"You became Mischka Travinski, the sheriff of Logan County, Colorado. I told them you had been a prisoner of war. You thrived there, Michael. You lived free of the horrors of the past and of Section One. The following four years, you found your soul again and your heart. You became a kind-hearted, loving man." She turned toward the water again. "But after four years, as you tried to stop a band of cattle rustlers and after you saved three people, you took a bullet to the head. That trauma brought your memories back and I was given the mission to either recruit you again or cancel you." Nikita faced him, her eyes holding her pain. "I gave you the choice, Michael, and for two days, I gave you the time to think about it.

"The night I caught the rustlers, I came to see you. As I watched you sleep, I knew that I had finally lied to you. I took away your choice, Michael. I inflicted another head would and prayed to all that would listen that you lost your memories again. Someone was listening." She turned to the water for comfort as she continued.

"I told Madeline and Operations that you would never have survived here again. They assumed I had canceled you. Birkoff, Walter, and the rest had been told you hadn't recovered from Glass Curtain's torture." Nikita sighed. "All the while, I became the perfect operative. In a sense, I became you. When I bargained for your freedom, I realized that there was something more important to me than my freedom, Michael. You are more important still. So I lived my freedom through you.

"Then the Directory was breeched and six files were compromised. Operations', Madeline's, Birkoff's, Walter's, mine and yours. I went into Legion's compound, destroyed the files. It took a little while, but Team Two got me out.

"I had been in Medlab no more than six hours when Operations told me the town person I had watching you was dead. He had known I couldn't cancel you. This time, though, he gave me the ultimatum- recruitment or cancellation or he'd send another in my place.

"Little did I know they had already grabbed you, Michael. I couldn't kill you, so I brought you here. The tranq had an unusual effect- you remembered none of the past eight years I decided you needed to know the truth, so I took you outside and told you. At your silence I left. In the early morning, I found Madeline shot. I brought her to a local hospital and realized how they had found our location- you. Only I finally figured out it really wasn't you.

"I went in after you and Operations. I got you both out with the help of a team Birkoff and Walter sent in after I took off alone. And you know the rest." Nikita fell silent and refuse to look at Michael.

As his silence stretched on, Nikita swallowed her tears and began to stand. His soft cry of her name stopped her. "Why, Nikita? Why did you come back? You had no obligation to retrieve me." Michael asked quietly.

Nikita turned to stare at him. She shook her head. "Michael, I didn't think of it as an obligation. I car, Michael. There was no way in hell I was going to let you be tortured b some group again! I traded my freedom for yours because I knew I could give you a true life. Michael, I spent my year of freedom looking over my shoulder, staying away from everyone. I had my freedom, true, Michael, but I didn't have peace or friends. You had the opportunity at a normal life- a life without fear and the nightmares. I would do it all again, Michael. For you, I would do it all again." She repeated the words. "I know you don't believe me. I know that you don't believe yourself worthy of the concern and the worry and the love of another person but that doesn't stop me from being concerned, from worrying about you, or stop me from loving you, Michael. I do love you, Michael. That is why I came back and why I did what I did. I don't regret any of it save for they fact that you regained your memory. I wish that you had never remembered and had stayed Mischka Travinski, Michael." And with that, Nikita stood up and walked away. She left the keys to her car on the bench beside Michael and walked.

Michael watched her figure disappear out of sight before he dropped his head into his hands and let the tears fall. She had given him everything he had wanted to giver her- a second chance at life without the Section. He had remembered as she spoke

His mind remained on the tortured look on her face as she walked into his hospital room four years ago. Now he understood why she had hated seeing him again.

Why? Why had she given him everything she had held dear? Why had she become like him- no soul, no heart?

"Because, Michael, she thought you worthy of another chance. When she returned to us, it was because I asked her to go in a get you. I knew that she was the only one who could. I was prepared to allow her to leave again, Michael, but you came back without a single memory and she couldn't leave, not knowing that she could help you regain your soul. "Michael, that- helping you regain your soul- has always been her greatest desire. She made the choice without hesitation- without remorse.

"And Michael, she had not lost her soul to Section One. Her heart, that is another matter, for I fear she lost that long ago." The man smiled and he was gone.

Michael sat on the bench, staring out on to the pond and thinking way after darkness had fallen. He thought on Operations' words as well as Nikita's

"Come in, Michael." Nikita smiled as she opened her door to find Michael there. She was not surprised he had come. His tormented look, though, hurt her because she knew that she was the cause.

Michael looked around her apartment. It was the same location as when she had started all those years ago, bu it had changed. It was more subdued. Oh, it still had her own flare but gone were the neon lights and harsh modern furniture of steel. Instead he found brilliant colors and softer touches. He read her soul there and finally believed she had not lost it.

Nikita chuckled. "If I had known simply showing you my place would have made you believe, I would have brought you here instead of the pond!" Michael's smile was fleeting. "Nikita, why do you believe me worthy of another chance?" He was his usual old direct self. His eyes were blank as well.

Nikita shook her head and sat down in her favorite chair- an old rocker. "Michael, to be truly good, you have to understand evil. You believe that you are evil, that you hold no light. You are wrong. What you are is a mixture. You know evil- very well, in fact, but it is not a part of you. Neither are you the light, though, deep inside you it is there.

"You will always be worthy, Michael, in my eyes, because I see that light deep inside you, no matter what you see or do. You have lost your faith in yourself. Do not let these last eight years slip out of your hands, Michael. Mischka believed in himself, in his worth, and whether you like it or not, Mischka is a part of you. You may bury him deep but you can not exterminate him.

"The Nikita you seek is within me, Michael, you only have to look a little harder to find her." Nikita smiled. "Operations should stay out of this. I shall have to speak with him in the morning."

And for the first time ever- Nikita got a full reaction out of Michael. Nikita laughed heartily. If only Madeline could see! She would be proud!

The though made her laugh even more.

"How?" Michael was bewildered.

"He is the only one who would speak of worth, Michael. Madeline would have used something akin to deserved. Operations understands my actions a bit more only because he knows more about them." Nikita smiled and closed her eyes. "I kill, Michael. I follow Section orders. But I also continue to alter them slightly. I still try hard not to kill innocents. My SIMs show my concern for them and my missions reflect my belief in that respect. My teams finish well and look out for each other."

Michael smiled. In that moment, she looked like the Nikita of old. She looked vulnerable, but he, more than anyone, knew her core of strength. "I also have learned your power of mind over matter well." Nikita smiled and opened her eyes. "In the last four years I have logged more Medlab time than your time in Medlab for four years."

"And you consider this an accomplishment?" Michael laughed.

"Not really, but it did get you to laugh." Nikita smiled.

"Nikita, I don't know what you want from me." Michael whispered, looking away from her.

"Look at me, Michael." Nikita commanded softly. She waited until he complied before she continued. "What I want from you is for you not to forget about Mischka. You must do what is necessary to survive this life, Michael. I will always think you are worthy. I am not asking you to change, Michael. I will always regret you remembering just as I know you regret my loss of freedom. Do not blame yourself, Michael. We will take it one day at a time, just like before."

Michael smiled. "You are my light, Nikita, always will be," He stood- it was late. At the door, though, he turned and asked a single question that surprised Nikita. He smiled, glad he could cause a reaction from her still. His question was simple, "How did you lose your heart, Nikita?"

"It is not the how that is important, Michael, but the to whom I lost it to." She replied cryptically and went back to rocking in her chair with her eyes closed.

"Operations, lay it to rest and stay out of business that does not concern you." Nikita told him flatly.

Madeline raised an eyebrow as Nikita left.

Operations smiled. "I spoke with Michael last night."

Madeline chuckled.

Things were not the same, but they were friends again, not ignoring each other's existence. They left the past where it belonged- behind them.

On his desk, Michael found a wrapped package. From the paper- plain brown- and the artistic writing of his name on it, he knew who it was from and smiled.

It was a beautifully framed quote. The words were done in a fine artist's hand and read "Shadows are only a reflection of light." Michael remembered the day perfectly when he had told her he was only a shadow.

The End